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S05.E02: Chutes And Ladders


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Episode two and I was still bored till Finn Whitrock and Evan Peters. Why are these episodes so long?

I got zilch out of knowing the identity of the mattress monster.

Gaga still can't act and now the Countess has 2 hotties fighting for her, she doesn't deserve it. Poor Donovan and his hot ass, being dumped so blandly.

Tristan is hot and he's right, I would do him.

EP sounded like Malcolm McDowell and he was good. March and Evers together were an awesome team. Poor Evers, how does she ever get through all that dirty laundry.

Talk about grinding off your teeth, that WAS creepy. I suppose Sally can regrow her fangs.

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Long-time lurker (from TWoP), first-time poster over here. So. Um. This show is just...exhausting? There are about 78 different storylines going on and I don't really care about any of them. I'll give this one more episode before I tap out. I do like Chloë Sevigny though and her advice to stay off WebMD. It really will make you bonkers.

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EP sounded like Malcolm McDowell and he was good.

Talk about grinding off your teeth, that WAS creepy. I suppose Sally can regrow her fangs.

He totally changed his voice and it didn't sound like terrible made up voice to me,and it easily could have. I haven't really cared for any of his characters since S1, but this psycho Mr. March guy is interesting to say the least.

Loved Sally's crumbling teeth too! And also the line that followed:  "Kids are the best!"  :)

 

Glad we got to see more of Mare Winningham's Mrs. Evers.  I loved the way she said: "what a glorious stain." 

 

Episode two and I was still bored till Finn Whitrock and Evan Peters. Why are these episodes so long?

 

I was bored for about 22 minutes into it because I have in my notes "zzzzzzz''.  The John Lowe stuff was kind of meh.  Then it got better after about 25 minutes into it.

I love the show but yeah, these are too long. They've done this before, usually the first couple of eps they have made longer. This ep of almost 40 minutes more was a lot to take it. I need sleep damn it!  Hopefully next week will just be the regular hour.

 

That was a terrible fashion show!

 

There are about 78 different storylines going on and I don't really care about any of them.

 

It was a big info dump tonight. Storylines were going on all over the place!  The Evan Peters/Mr.March stuff was probably the most interesting. What a whack job!

Lady GaGa sure has it tough making out with pretty looking guys! Geez.

 

Those glass coffins were pretty cool looking. So am I getting this right?: The kids drink these victims who should have vitamin enriched blood, then Iris takes their blood and serves it up to GaGa because it's so scrumptious. It's the good stuff.  No wonder those kids have all that candy in that room!

 

Finn chomping on that worm filled sandwich was gross!  That's why I always look at my food before putting it in my mouth.

 

So what was that white powder Iris through down the chute after the dead bodies went down there?

Edited by Valny
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Yes to Evan Peters being a psycho again. James seems worse then Tate was. Everything between James March Miss Evers was gold. The whole scene with them picking who should die first lol. Aww she gave me the honor of killing her and he looked really touched.

 

I was bored watching Alex make house calls. I hope that goes somewhere or I guess they needed more for Chloe to do.

 

I still have no opinion on Gaga or the triangle. Hopefully it will get better.

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Evan Peters has returned to his psycho killer roots! I am weirdly excited about that. 

 

Except for the flashback sequence and the appearance of Finn Whitrock, not the most exciting episode ever. A bit of a come down after all the craziness of last week. 

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I was bored watching Alex make house calls. I hope that goes somewhere or I guess they needed more for Chloe to do.

 

Yeah it was like, did we really need that scene?  Was it just to say,not vaccinating your kid is baaaad people!

Not the greatest character for Chloe,hopefully she gets some better material to work with later.

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Why did Dandy spend half the episode dressed as Rufio from Hook?

LOLOL.

 

I also liked how Kathy(Iris) told John the story about James when she was the one who told the story about Edward in S4.

 

I also wondered if Gaga was James wife.  They hid her face for a reason.

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They've done this before, usually the first couple of eps they have made longer. This ep of almost 40 minutes more was a lot to take it. I need sleep damn it!  Hopefully next week will just be the regular hour.

 

Things would've be better if they had been more streamlined.

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I liked the Mr. March stuff and this was the first time I've liked Evan Peters since he played Kit way back in Asylum.

 

 

On the other hand ....

 

 

This series is in serious need of a trimming. Okay, great. You have the right to do as long of an episode as you want but if you just could have FOCUSED on one or two different plots and not jumped all over the place the episode would have actually made sense and been way better than it actually was.  

 

Or better yet, since the show is called "American Horror Story" why not tell a single story each episode or rotate between two or three every episode. You know, just like you did in S1 (The Harmons) and S2 (Jessia's story/Sarah's story which overlapped) and even S3 ("Who Will Be The Next Supreme?") to an extent and just focus on something! 

 

In this one we have cop guy/his wife/daughter/lost son drama, cop guy chasing a murderer drama, Bomer/Mom drama, Paulson and bed sewn up guy drama, Bomer/Gaga/Model Dude, Mr. March stuff and Liz Taylor just hanging around serving drinks 'n ish.  Chill out! 

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I don't understand why Donovan seems completely unafraid of Gaga. If she's his maker or his mistress, shouldn't she be able to command or compel him away from the Netflix?

Loving Alex's anti-anti-vax stance. It makes sense with her character, but since it's been brought in both episodes, it seems it may be more involved than Alex losing a child.

How do the glass coffins protect the baby vamps? You could clearly see sun shining in while Scarlett was there the second time.

Not digging Finn's character. I think he's really over doing the petulant surfer - "whatever", "dude". Plus, there aren't really many supermodels, per se. Since they're in much less demand than female models, they don't command the money, fame, or connections. I especially think he would be jobless with that Foghorn Leghorn look.

Two horror movie moments: Finn wondering around an empty hotel with old-timey music - The Shining. And Finn staring at his image and stating "I'd do me", Buffalo Bill from Silence of the Lambs.

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Jeepers creepers, I thought it was swell!
 

I think GaGa lends that otherworldniess quality that the character needs. Is she a good/great actress? Who knows, maybe as the season progresses. I think she has an really unique presence though and looks magnificent all done up!

 

I loved, loved, loved all the Mr. March and Miss Evers scenes. I agree that Evan Peters has never been better and, for me, Mare Winningham can do no wrong. "What a glorious stain" indeed!

 

Still patiently and happily waiting to hear 'Liz Taylor's' story. As he seems to identify with 'Cleopatra' era Elizabeth Taylor I'm guessing he's been at the Hotel since the '60's.

 

ETA: also, the music playing in an early scene with the vampires was Lakmé by Delibes that was memorably used in the film The Hunger.

Edited by marsha
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I thought that powder going down the shoot was lime, to eat up the evidence. I didn't see the first ep yet so I was a bit confused all

around and the almost 2 hours is killing me. I was bored more than 1/2 the time.

 

I too I liked Sarah Paulson's line about kids. So gleeful, loved it.

 

Gaga is really bizarre looking. She looks like one of those old paintings where the women didn't have eye lashes.

 

Loved Finn's hair, every 80's.

 

Oh yeah, and best part was March and his maid. Those 2 were great. March's accent was totally believeable for the time period. I saw Jack Benny early this morning and he had a weird affected voice that just didn't work, but sort of suited his time period (early to mid-50's) and it reminded me a bit of Evan Peter's here, but Evan's really worked. I was impressed.

Edited by kat165
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So what was that white powder Iris through down the chute after the dead bodies went down there?

Lime - they used to use it to cover the smell of decaying bodies.

 

 

I think GaGa lends that otherworldniess quality that the character needs. I she a good/great actress? Who knows, maybe as the season progresses. I think she has an really unique presence though and looks magnificent all done up!

True, she hasn't really had enough extended scenes to determine if she can reallyact - but she's definitely in possession of some serious presence and charisma (plus a fabulous earthy speaking voice). With a role like hers that's probably all she needs. If the rumors that Murphy has already signed her for season 6, she must have something.  

 

I think there are fewer story lines than it seems at this point. I think Gaga is the wife - the voice certainly sounded like hers. Ultimately this will all be about Mr. March and the Countess and most of what's going on will spring from them.

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Yeah it was like, did we really need that scene?  Was it just to say,not vaccinating your kid is baaaad people!

Not the greatest character for Chloe,hopefully she gets some better material to work with later.

That scene bothered me, and I hope they don't keep up with the vaccinating issue. I hoped it was because she'd lost a child.

 

This was better than last week, although I also wish they'd stick to one or two story lines at a time. My favourite part was March and Evers - the whole thing was really well done. I was also glad they had the girl see her brother so soon, and the dad believing her. 

 

Tristan certainly changed his tune fast. I liked him briefly, when he didn't want to shoot the woman, and jumped up, stunned, when March shot her. 

Edited by Anela
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I LOVE old horror movies.  What I hate is filmed in 2015, filming flashbacks with grainy special effects, black and white when I'm trying to watch it in 1080p.  FX is so bad on time management.  I get a little creative license to allow an extra five minutes or so on the show, but this went on for an hour and 40 minutes and could've done without the overly long fashion show and the seeking of a tinder fling that ends with Gaga and Finn having a fresh victim. 

 

I'm more curious about who these characters really are.  We have Countess Elizabeth, is she Elizabeth Bathory?  Then we have James March who made his cash out of oil and other things and shares initials with JP Morgan.  We're given more "shocking," death scenes that aren't out of train with this series, so if you are a regular viewer of Horror, you're just yawning and waiting for more revelations.

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I love seeing the old Deco hotel. The details are astounding and beautiful - wonder what it would cost to build it today?

 

Paulson and Winningham are knockin' it out of the park.

 

But, yeah, this episode was a jumbled mess and too long. Something's wrong when I'm bored while torture and murder are on my screen.

 

Ugh - hope we don't see more of Naomi Campbell.

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Gaga did not impress this episode. Between the music and her dress, the scene where she's walking into the art show under all of those lights reminded me more of a luxury car commercial. It just got worse when she opened her mouth. Same goes for Sally...literally. She's shaping up to be my least favorite Sarah Paulson character. Yay for Evan Peters and the maid, though! I want more of them and less of Gaga.

Poor Swedish Meatball, getting drained and then dumped down the chute to rot with the other victims. I wonder if her family will come looking for her.

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I am not bothered by Gaga's lack of acting range. Her character is not one with much emotional range, anyway. The Countess is cold, aloof, above it all. Gaga is playing that very well. Although I will say, the first time I thought she looked really striking (and not like her outfit was "wearing her") is when she was in that red gown getting out of the car. I was like "whoa." 

 

Enjoyed the backstory of the hotel's creator, and I agree that Gaga could be his wife. She would be the right age. The one thing I thought was a bit extraneous was the expository description of the vampire thing when she turned Finn. Yes, I was curious about it, but it read like a Reddit AMA more than anything.

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Ok, I loved Evan Peters character and the maid's storyline. She was devoted (in love?) with him that she even offered to be his last victim to make him happy. That's a story Murphy! 

 

I'm also going with Gaga being his wife. But I love that they drink blood, don't enjoy the sun, hunt people, are immortal but don't have fangs because that would be too out there for this show with a skin monster with a drilldo. 

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Gaga as James' hidden wife seems very obvious, so I hope it's someone else. Although there is no one in the current cast it could be (unless in some mad twist it's Chloe Sevignys character).

I love to sets and the art but so far it's too incoherent and music-videoish for me. I'm not feeling any of the characters. There's no one to root for. Usually I like the twisted characters the most, but that's when there's a protagonist in the mix. A Lana Winters or Vivian Harmon or even someone ambiguous like Sister Jude. Wes Bentely's character must be the most boring in the history of American Horror Story.

I'll still watch because I like madness and horror (at least to a point) and there are still good moments and some great actors (everything with Mare Winningham was gold, and I even liked Evan Peters for the first time in forever) and pretty boys, but there's little else to connect with. So far.

Edited by joelene
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I can't believe this mess ran for an 1:42!  Some of the scenes were completely unnecessary. During the fashion show, I legit uttered - the fuck am I watching!

 

Surprised to not see this yet mentioned but Ryan seemed to have based Evan Peter's character and indeed the concept of the show on someone who is considered America's First serial killer H.H. Holmes. I saw a not so great documentary on this on Netflix. With murder on his mind, Holmes built a hotel in Chicago back in the 1800's with "a maze of over 100 windowless rooms with doorways opening to brick walls, oddly-angled hallways, stairways leading to nowhere, doors that could only be opened from the outside and a host of other strange and labyrinthine constructions." He is believed to have murdered over 200 people but only confessed to about 27. 

 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/H._H._Holmes#Chicago_and_the_.22Murder_Castle.22

 

I wish that was the main focus of the show. Who needs vampires and mattress monsters when you have real world horrors like that?

 

The Evan Peters part of the show was the only part I found truly enjoyable and riveting.Really surprised he was able to pull off old timey accent and affectations so damn well. That really could've gone left. So kudos to EP. 

 

Sarah Paulson is just mesmerizing. I don't know why Ryan keeps making her the bridesmaid but never the bride. 

 

Gaga is coasting on charisma and presence alone. I don't know if that will hold out. 

 

So the Countess is getting that triple refined, concentrated good blood stuff from the kids huh? 

 

I find there is an undertone of petulance in Finn Wittrock's performances that makes him one note to me.  

 

Finn Wittrock, Wes Bentley, Matt Bomer, Cheyenne Jackson, Max Greenfield - Thank goodness I know who they are. If I didn't I don't think I would be able to tell them apart. 

 

Tinder dude was hot!

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I'm also going with Gaga being his wife. But I love that they drink blood, don't enjoy the sun, hunt people, are immortal but don't have fangs because that would be too out there for this show with a skin monster with a drilldo. 

Yeah, it seems kind of pointless to have non-supernatural viral vampirism in a setting that obviously has the same sort of physically manifesting ghost rules as Murder House, what with Mr. March, Miss Evers, Sally, Drilldo, and who knows how many others. Why not throw in Lady Gaga turning into a wolf or bat while they're at it?

 

Gaga as James' hidden wife seems very obvious, so I hope it's someone else. Although there is no one in the current cast it could be (unless in some mad twist it's Chloe Sevignys character).

This is Ryan Murphy, she might yet turn out to be Liz Taylor in a Veronica Lake wig.

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I'm also going with Gaga as James' wife too.

Some scenes I feel like I'm watching a slasher movie. But at least they have started a storyline, OK, several storylines. I'm following so far which is good because some seasons of this show I didn't know what the hell was going on.

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Finn Wittrock, Wes Bentley, Matt Bomer, Cheyenne Jackson, Max Greenfield - Thank goodness I know who they are. If I didn't I don't think I would be able to tell them apart. 

I recall reading somewhere that their casting/resemblance was intentional and figured into the plot, but I could be way off. Thank you Ryan Murphy for the eye candy. I love me a dark-haired, statuesque man and in this case...men.

I REALLY want to love this season, but I'm on the fence. It feels/looks like a long-form Gaga music video (although her wardrobe is flipping fabulous).

Pros: male eye candy (duh), the March/Evers dynamic, Sarah Paulson is killing it (not that I expect anything less), Finn Wittrock/Tristan brought a bit of comic relief with a few witty one-liners, and we have Angela Bassett & Lily Rabe to look forward to

Cons: why does Chloe Sevigny still have Mormon hair, Max Greenfield & Denis O'Hare are bring underutilized at the moment, the episodes are 40 minutes too long...edit that ish...too much unnecessary fluff

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Surprised to not see this yet mentioned but Ryan seemed to have based Evan Peter's character and indeed the concept of the show on someone who is considered America's First serial killer H.H. Holmes. I saw a not so great documentary on this on Netflix. With murder on his mind, Holmes built a hotel in Chicago back in the 1800's with "a maze of over 100 windowless rooms with doorways opening to brick walls, oddly-angled hallways, stairways leading to nowhere, doors that could only be opened from the outside and a host of other strange and labyrinthine constructions." He is believed to have murdered over 200 people but only confessed to about 27. 

 

BOO! You beat me to it. James and his house of horrors reminds me of Holmes.

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What? Nobody throws Matt Bomer over in favor of Finn Whitrock. It just isn't done.

 

They definitely need to knock it off with the 1 hour 40 minute episodes. But I think this Evan Peters character is going to be my all-time favorite. Wow, that guy is a chameleon. Why isn't he starring in Oscar-winning movies? On the other hand, this Finn Whitrock character can't hold a candle to Dandy.

 

I think this season could shape up to be as good as Asylum if they maintain some semblance of a story thread and don't just start throwing whatever they can come up with at the wall to see what sticks. 

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Surprised to not see this yet mentioned but Ryan seemed to have based Evan Peter's character and indeed the concept of the show on someone who is considered America's First serial killer H.H. Holmes.

Yep, this was the first thing I thought of when the contractor asked March about the odd configuration of the corridors without rooms and halls going nowhere.(check my profile, you'll see serial killers listed under hobbies).

One thing that bothered me was the Countess telling Tristan that they don't feed on the diseased,the feeble, or the polluted.  But wasn't Donovan a junkie when she turned him?  That seems "polluted" in my book.

 

So if you're not supposed to drink blood from the dead, why do they keep killing these people first?

They're not dead, just incapacitated.

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I have to say, I'm a bit intrigued by this. At this point last year it was evident that Freak Show was headed nowhere, but these characters seem a lot more interesting and dynamic.

 

I wish there was more of an overarching theme than "look at the crazy shit going on at this hotel lol" but at least the action is fun to watch and gorgeously shot. I don't expect this season to suddenly reveal a story as gripping as Asylum's, but at least it might end up being more coherent than Coven, which was literally just a bunch of crazy people killing eachother over and over again. 

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We have Countess Elizabeth, is she Elizabeth Bathory?

Unless she was lying to Tristan about when she was born, it's doubtful. But certainly the name choice can't be coincidental.

 

 

That lumberjack looked pretty dead to me.

Even if you're jugular is slashed, you don't die immediately. You would, however, go into shock and loose consciousness before your heart stopped beating and your brain actually shut down. 

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So, Chutes and Ladders?  The chutes are obvious, but do the ladders refer to what Sally Syringe said about addiction being like climbing a ladder of infinite misery?  Or maybe an oblique reference to all the shit that happens in the elevators?

 

I wonder if they are feeding something at the bottom of those laundry chutes.  It reminded me or Dr. Arden in Asylum.

 

Love Evan Peters, as someone upthread said, it was nice to see him playing a man.  I thought, as soon as I heard this season was called Hotel, that they would be seriously remiss if they didn't give a nod to H. H. Holmes.

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One thing that bothered me was the Countess telling Tristan that they don't feed on the diseased,the feeble, or the polluted.  But wasn't Donovan a junkie when she turned him?  That seems "polluted" in my book.

 

 

According to the flashback, he only fed off of her.  Unless I missed something in the first episode, which is highly possible.

 

It can't really mean anything, but the character played by EVan petERS being in cahoots with a character named Miss Evers is an odd coincidence.

Edited by Sile
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Count me among the "episode is too long" people, especially if there's no apparent reason for it. Reign it in Murphy, and that goes double for Kurt Sutter.

 

 

As long as they show Lady Gaga's backside every week i'm ok with her.

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