S03.E05: Fake It Till You Fake It Some More

[Tara Ariano]

 

Rumors fly among the inmates about a new, higher-paying job assignment, especially when they have to take a test for it. 

[Mya Stone]

Nice to get Flaca's backstory. Or should I say, Marisol's.

Loved Caputo's delivery of the system line to the head of the new regime (I don't know his name yet).

When he said "Welcome to whispers," I swear I had a Game of Thrones crossover in my head and thought the sewing machines were listening devices, aka the ladies were going to be spying on everyone.

The irony of what it really was was thick.

[rho]

A perfectly good episode ruined by Heely flirting. Gross! I hope the new prison counselor means they're edging him out. I have my fingers crossed for Pennsatucky to run him over with the prison truck.

[elzin]

Loved Caputo's delivery of the system line to the head of the new regime (I don't know his name yet).

 

His name is Pearson. 

 

What's his deal? Is he just a laid back kind of dude? Is he inept? Is he really evil and is pretending to be nice like Umbridge or something? I can't tell if he was humoring Caputo or sincere.

[Gervi]

I read him as high for the most part.

[Cranberry]

I read him as really good at playing people (mostly by using flattery and making himself seem unassuming), and I suspect he's more powerful than he lets on -- I think that he, not some faceless bigwigs, is making most of the decisions. 

[Daisy]

I read him as really good at playing people (mostly by using flattery and making himself seem unassuming), and I suspect he's more powerful than he lets on -- I think that he, not some faceless bigwigs, is making most of the decisions. 

 

 

That's what I'm getting. I am thinking he is the guy who is in charge of the entire thing. 

 

Flacca - Marisol's backstory was really sad and that she basically ended up somewhere that she was trying to avoid. I can't lie though, her "I'm getting arrested for not selling drugs!" was kind of funny.

 

i don't know i'm not really feeling the 'vibe' with this season. 

[laschifosavita]

It's about time we learned more about Marisol.

 

I wish we had got a season without Caputo having a major crisis.  The best part of the show is the relationships between the characters, and these big stories always seem just like a gimmick.

 

I cannot deal with the Red/Healy story.  The two of them flirting is gross.  Red is massively out of his league.  Just no.  I need it to be revealed to be an elaborate Gambit to get early release.

[Chaos Theory]

Flacca's backstory was one big ironic trip.  I liked it.

 

I am in the minority and am liking the Red/Healy storyline.  it is all awkward and weird.   Yes Red is out of Healy's league but Red is lonely and sad and Healy was genuine in his comforting. 

[Sesquipedalia]

I cannot deal with the Red/Healy story.  The two of them flirting is gross.  Red is massively out of his league.  Just no.  I need it to be revealed to be an elaborate Gambit to get early release.

 

 

But wait, wasn't it revealed in this episode that it was at least partly a gambit to get her job in the kitchen back? I think she does like Healy, but I thought the last scene where she faked him out with her speech about wanting to get passionate about something showed pretty clearly that she's not into him romantically. Or maybe that interpretation is wishful thinking on my part.

 

Also, poor Flacca! Can you really do time in prison for selling fake sugar pill drugs? That seems ridiculous.

Edited June 13, 2015 by Sesquipedalia

[Mya Stone]

Also, poor Flacca! Can you really do time in prison for selling fake sugar pill drugs? That seems ridiculous.

I googled it, because I thought it was extreme as well. But apparently you can get into some deep crap for it.

http://www.bustle.com/articles/89744-is-it-illegal-to-sell-fake-drugs-orange-is-the-new-black-inmate-flaca-was-arrested

[rho]

Also, poor Flacca! Can you really do time in prison for selling fake sugar pill drugs? That seems ridiculous.

 

Oh, for sure! She was booked for fraud and probably got charged with manslaughter too. If someone's kid dies, you best know someone will pay. She would have been better off selling real drugs

[Helena Dax]

Wow, I had no idea you could go to jail for selling fake drugs. I mean, I'd understand it if we were talking about medecines or some kind of dangerous substance, but just paper and water? And wasn't she in high school when everything  happened? Shouldn't she be in juvie?

 

Loved when Marisol said she was wearing her apron ironically. 

 

The exam was hilarious but the truth behind it was very sad. I still don't know what to think about Pearson.

 

I guess Red wasn't really interested in Healy, thank God. And I'm surprised he just felt disappointed. Knowing him, I expected a worse reaction. 

[AmandaPanda]

If Marisol was a senior in high school, she might have already been 18, so she would have legally been an adult. Even if she were 16 or 17, she could still be tried as an adult. I thought her backstory was a great example of something for which someone would actually be in a minimum security prison. There are a touch too many violent offenders in Litchfield for it to be really believable.

 

I agree with cranberry about the new guy being really good at reading people. Now that the prison is owned by a big corporation, they don't really care about the inmates or the guards. That was also shown by the fact that all the guards got cut to part-time, so the new owners don't have to give them any benefits. 

 

I almost felt bad for Healy when he realized Red doesn't return his affections. He's so pathetic that I sometimes feel bad for him.

 

I'll be honest. When the new guy said "Welcome to Whispers," my first thought was that they were going to be running a phone sex line. 

[Daisy]

I'll be honest. When the new guy said "Welcome to Whispers," my first thought was that they were going to be running a phone sex line. 

 

 

me too. I was legit disappointed that it was panties. imagine Black Cindy speaking dirty on a sex phone line? 

[Cherpumple]

This episode really gelled for me, especially since Flaca has always intrigued me, and the actress really nailed her character's reaction to the sewing room. Generally, I like the back stories that explain why the women are in prison, rather than the ones that just show a shapshot of their pre-prison lives (like Big Boo's), and this one not only fit the theme of the overall episode, but had a good twist. I also loved the parallel of the placebo effect of both the fake drugs and the fake test.

 

I know nothing about the privatization of prisons in real life, so I wasn't sure what to expect with this storyline, and I still don't know what's coming. On one hand, the guards are getting a raw deal and the new owners don't even pay lip service to anything resembling concern for the welfare of the inmates, but on the other hand they are providing more money for some jobs and have made some improvements to daily life (fixing broken items, re-stocking things like the soap dispensers). I'm watching this develop with caution.

 

I don't know if Alex is being paranoid, but I wanted to slap Piper for being so insensitive to her fear that Kubra is out to get her. If his drug ring is as big as we are led to believe, it's totally plausible to me that he could have access to someone to do an inside job. Last season we saw Vee intimidate Red by having people threaten to hurt her sons, and her web of contacts was small potatoes compared to Kubra's. True or not, it's possible, and Piper shouldn't act like such an asshole about it. 

 

Finally, I LOVED the throwaway moment of Leanne speaking German. That came out of nowhere, and I laughed out loud at Poussey's reaction. 

[Lillybee]

I worked as an eligibility worker before I retired and I had a single mom client who worked as a guard at a private men's prison. She was earning about .50 cents more than minimun wage and was laid off as soon as she was eligible to make 8.00 a hour. Private prisons treats their guards very badly.

[knaankos]

Best backstory in a longtime. I agree with the above poster that I think it's better when they show why the person is in prison. Boo's story did;t show that. There were some throwaway lines with the bartender guy about sports betting which I guess is why she is in there. 

 

 

Piper is becoming immensely hate-able. 

[SaabStory]

I don't know if Alex is being paranoid, but I wanted to slap Piper for being so insensitive to her fear that Kubra is out to get her. If his drug ring is as big as we are led to believe, it's totally plausible to me that he could have access to someone to do an inside job. Last season we saw Vee intimidate Red by having people threaten to hurt her sons, and her web of contacts was small potatoes compared to Kubra's. True or not, it's possible, and Piper shouldn't act like such an asshole about it.

 

 

     You would have to get in line behind me. I find flippantness so unappealing. I kept waiting for her to apologize and get serious about it. Maybe Piper can come to the rescue later in the season, if it is not too inconvenient for her.

Edited June 14, 2015 by SaabStory

[Sir RaiderDuck OMS]

I know nothing about the privatization of prisons in real life, so I wasn't sure what to expect with this storyline, and I still don't know what's coming.

 

 

I worked as an eligibility worker before I retired and I had a single mom client who worked as a guard at a private men's prison. She was earning about .50 cents more than minimun wage and was laid off as soon as she was eligible to make 8.00 a hour. Private prisons treats their guards very badly.

It's not just guards that get the shaft; the common practice is for companies to start taking over the prisons in a state while simultaneously lobbying the legislature to pass new laws mandating long prison sentences for minor crimes: in this way, the private prison operators ensure themselves of a steady stream of new "customers," all paid for by the taxpayer. Given that this season is big on social commentary so far, I'm expecting a scathing indictment of the for-profit prison industry.

[Thog]

I still don't know where this season as a whole is going, but for me it's still the little moments that make the show great. I love knowing that O'Neill takes an extra 3 minutes to drive past the house with the red door and tire swing to remind himself that there is still good in the world.

[Sophronisba]

I loved that line, too. It was just a throwaway line, but it was a great little character moment.

[questionfear]

I still don't know where this season as a whole is going, but for me it's still the little moments that make the show great. I love knowing that O'Neill takes an extra 3 minutes to drive past the house with the red door and tire swing to remind himself that there is still good in the world.

It's great because that immediately added an extra little gut punch to the guards getting their hours cut. It wasn't a huge anvil of "GUARDS GET SCREWED TOO" like it would have been if they were bickering about the home loan debt, but it gave us a little insight into them.

 

I really thought they were going to make some of the prisoners be quasi-guards for the other prisoners, and that's why there was a personality test and why the guard hours were cut. 

[BeatrixK]

I just want to say that, with Mike Berbiglia in the cast...I was desperately hoping for him to bust out with at least one 'Cracka please!'  He's one of my all-time favorite comedians...just love seeing him outside of standup.  (Please don't let him turn into a complete assmunch corporate guy!)

[Lovecat]

I really thought they were going to make some of the prisoners be quasi-guards for the other prisoners, and that's why there was a personality test and why the guard hours were cut.

I thought that's where they were going, too.

[Primetimer]

A man working in a women's prison who can't relate to women, and a female inmate who can't relate to women. A match made in prison heaven?

Read the story

[Wouldofshouldof]

Are there some new writers this season?  I've seen a few instances of some broader comedy than OITNB has done in the past, and I don't think it fits.  The perfect example is Crazy Eyes reading the question - something like "It takes me a while to understand things" - and then totally overdoing it with ... trying to understand the question.  It felt dumb, and it wasn't the only instance I noticed.

[Thog]

Have we learned why Flaca/Marisol has that teardrop tattoo? She doesn't have it in the flashbacks, and I thought that particular tattoo signified having killed someone. Maybe she has it because of the kid who (nearly?) died because of what she sold him? Or is it just a fashionable eyeliner thing?

[ElectricBoogaloo]

I know it's not great for Taystee to be dishonest about hiding the hooch, but I can understand why she's doing it. Her heart is in the right place and she got the results she wanted - Poussey is no longer moping around. Sometimes when you are depressed or in a funk, you just need something to distract you and motivate you to do something besides feel sorry for yourself. After my dad died, I would lie in bed and think of ways to bribe myself to get up and go to work. It was mostly small stuff, like I could go get lunch at my favorite place, but I really did need some kind of distraction/incentive to physically get out of bed. On the days when I didn't bribe myself, I would just lie in bed all day and tell myself that I would get up in five minutes. I don't think Poussey is at that point, but I understand Taystee trying to help her.

 

When Pearson said that they had a system for assigning the higher paying job without causing resentment among the inmates, I thought it was going to be that the job totally sucked. I am surprised they are letting the inmates be around sewing stuff like needles and scissors.

 

Pearson is definitely higher up in the command chain than Caputo originally thought. He admitted as much when he said he would call the meeting time after everyone had their opportunity to bluster about it. And he is much shrewder than Caputo thinks. He is going to change the prison so that it's run the way all of their other private prisons are run. The way he talked to Caputo makes me fear that Caputo will lose his job once the transition is complete. Pearson and the company have no interest in what Caputo has to say but they are pretending to listen to some of his concerns so that he doesn't throw the place into a panic before they have all of their new people and procedures in place.

 

Although selling fake drugs is a terrible idea, it never fails to amuse me that kids will think they are drunk or high when they aren't. I don't speak Spanish so I missed a good portion of the conversations between her and her mother and then a few in the kitchen. I took Italian and French so I was able to pick up a few things. Didn't they use English subtitles for soem of Gloria's flashbacks last season?

 

If Bennett leaving is what it took for Daya to give up her fantasy of the two of them raising that baby together, so be it. I know that most of her anger is about Bennett but hopefully she realizes the truth in what her mother said - that kid will be better off eating food without a gun pointed at his head. I was rolling my eyes and Cesar's attempt at chivalry. How long is Pornstache's sentence? I really hope it's looooong because that kid doesn't need to be around his crazy ass either.

[JakeyJokes]

Check your settings, Electric. I watched on Netflix streaming and the subtitles were used for all the Spanish scenes.

 

I love the platonic love story that is Martiza and Flaca. I hope they reunite before the season ends. 

 

Cesar is so hot and so wrong.

 

 

Are there some new writers this season?  I've seen a few instances of some broader comedy than OITNB has done in the past, and I don't think it fits.

 

I wonder if it's in reaction to Season 2 being sooooo dark. I don't mind the broader comedy bits -- I thought everyone talking during the test was hilarious -- but I agree that the comedy seems to be a little bigger. Interesting, because the Emmys just re-classified this show as a Drama.

 

It took Mary Steenburgen and her character and Bennett's departure to make me finally care about the Daya/Bennett/Baby storyline. Daya will probably have a change of heart at birth, but it's interesting to see her turn into a version of her mother.

[Knittzu]

It's not just guards that get the shaft; the common practice is for companies to start taking over the prisons in a state while simultaneously lobbying the legislature to pass new laws mandating long prison sentences for minor crimes

 

Is that how we wind up with teen girls sent to prison for selling sugared paper? While watching I was certain that no such thing could ever happen, but apparently it can and does. *sigh*

 

I'm relieved that Red was apparently just stringing Healy along for favors. Hopefully they don't decide to make her have a sudden change of heart, because I find him utterly repugnant.

 

Poor Soso. That's exactly how I feel when trying to make small talk with relative strangers.

[Sakura12]

Finally, I LOVED the throwaway moment of Leanne speaking German. That came out of nowhere, and I laughed out loud at Poussey's reaction. 

 

Leanne speaking German was surprising, I wonder if we'll get a backstory there. 

 

I'm glad the Red/Healy story was Red just working an angle to get back into the kitchen. Healy seems like the type that once you start being nice to him, he'll cling to you like glue and think you are in love. I still like that it's his having terrible social skills being the reason the women never respond to him. The counselor seems to be an actual counselor.  

 

Marisol was still in high school when she went to jail that sucks, but does explain why acts the way she does. She acts like an entitled teenager because she is one. 

 

Piper is getting more self absorbed in prison, you'd think it would be the opposite with everyone telling her she is. I get that she thinks Alex is just being a freak about the drug dealer sending someone to kill her, but to keep making jokes when you can clearly see she's upset is not the right thing to do. It would've been better to keep telling Alex she's being paranoid or something. 

[CleoCaesar]

There's something Kafkaesque about being sent to prison for selling blowdried pieces of paper with cherries printed on them.

I guess Flaca's is YET another "she didn't really do anything REALLY wrong, she has a misunderstood heart of gold, she fell into a bad crowd/had bad luck, sympathize with this inmate" backstory. Which makes that, what, like literally almost every other backstory we've seen? (Except for perhaps Cindy, Alex, and Morello.)

[AllyB]

 

I guess Flaca's is YET another "she didn't really do anything REALLY wrong, she has a misunderstood heart of gold, she fell into a bad crowd/had bad luck, sympathize with this inmate" backstory. Which makes that, what, like literally almost every other backstory we've seen? (Except for perhaps Cindy, Alex, and Morello.)

That's kind of the point though. The US has 1/3 of the world's female prisoners despite having only less than 4.5% of the world's population. Seeing as how the rest of the world doesn't just leave it's criminals roam about wily nily, it can be taken that the vast majority of those women should not be in prison and wouldn't be if they lived in much of the rest of the world.

[CleoCaesar]

It's just a very clumsy way of driving that point home. It's about as subtle as a sledgehammer. A handful of sob stories to illustrate the arbitrary cruelty of Drug War-related sentences would have been powerful. Right now it seems like most of this cast of characters just happened to have shitty boyfriends/friends and that they themselves are not prison-material.

Then again, this is a minimum-security prison. I bet the view of a max-security prison would be quite different.

Edited June 19, 2015 by CleoCaesar

[Thog]

I don't know... In this particular case, I didn't think Flaca came across as misunderstood or having a heart of gold. She was a stupid kid who thought having "big dreams" meant it was okay to pretend to sell narcotics to other teenagers. She had no understanding of drug laws or psychological addiction, and didn't seem to care about the consequences of her actions because she was on a power trip. Even once in prison she was sure that her ambition to greatness made her better than everyone else, and even though she choked on the test she was willing to believe that she got chosen because somehow her brilliance shone through. This episode made me like her less, not more.

 

The only one I can think of who seems mostly a victim of circumstance is Daya, who got stuck with a lousy family and little choice. Maybe Taystee, too - I don't actually remember her back story, and there are a few others whose crimes weren't clear. Sophia's situation sucked, but she surely had choices other than theft. Nicky was a straight-up addict. That doesn't mean we can't sympathize with them, though. I thought that was the point of the book - it's not that everyone is blameless, it's more that perhaps prison isn't really solving the problems that led to their mistakes.

[mattie0808]

The only one I can think of who seems mostly a victim of circumstance is Daya, who got stuck with a lousy family and little choice. Maybe Taystee, too

I think Daya and Taystee are easily the two most sympathetic women in the show. They basically had no real chance to lead legal/legit lives (and Taystee did at least try as a teenager), and know next to nothing about what a "normal"/legit/legal life would possibly even look like for them. And they're both rather remarkably good-natured and have decent (though far from perfect) moral compasses that they seem to have developed more or less on their own. Taystee seems very smart, and Daya is talented. And yet, minimum security federal prision not only feels inevitable as a destination for them, it may be the best option they've ever been presented with.

 

On this episode...it's insane and infuriating that what happened to Flacca actually ever happens in real life. What a freakin' mess.

Edited June 22, 2015 by mattie0808

[Sesquipedalia]

There's something Kafkaesque about being sent to prison for selling blowdried pieces of paper with cherries printed on them.

I guess Flaca's is YET another "she didn't really do anything REALLY wrong, she has a misunderstood heart of gold, she fell into a bad crowd/had bad luck, sympathize with this inmate" backstory. Which makes that, what, like literally almost every other backstory we've seen? (Except for perhaps Cindy, Alex, and Morello.)

 

But I bet if you actually talked to women in prison and got their life stories, most would have something sympathetic about them. I would guess that most criminals, male or female, are not masterminds, but people who got into bad situations who did something stupid. So, it's like, yes, they broke the law and should be punished in some way, but on the other hand, the punishment doesn't always fit the crime.

 

[Oops, sorry I got confused about which thread I was posting in and dropped a spoiler. It was only there for a second, so hopefully no one saw it and I didn't spoil anyone. If I did, I'm so sorry!]

Edited June 20, 2015 by Sesquipedalia

[nodorothyparker]

Still don't care about Piper and Alex's drama.  At this point I hope the drug dealer is coming for Alex because that's about the only thing that could salvage this story.

 

I've never been so relieved to see that I was right in thinking that Red had to be playing Healy.  She's magnificent and I really really really didn't want to see her go there.

 

Count me among those who never realized you could go to prison for NOT selling drugs.  

[ganesh]

Finally, I LOVED the throwaway moment of Leanne speaking German. That came out of nowhere, and I laughed out loud at Poussey's reaction.

 

That's really what the show is good at. Those out of nowhere things. 

 

I'm not a Flaca fan, but that was an interesting backstory for me. I don't think she's a good person, and I don't think every character has to be. I was floored you can get arrested for not selling drugs.

 

I actually like paranoid Alex. I'm kind of hoping there's something to it. 

 

The privatization of the prison is really interesting because of course it's blowing up in their faces. I really don't know what's going to happen and couldn't believe there's going to be a sewing factory.

[Ms Blue Jay]

Happy to see another person who's not a fan of Flaca!

[April Bloodgate]

I was bummed to see an episode focused on Flaca. She isn't interesting to me, and this episode made me like her even less.

[jsm1125]

Is Aleida still on the show? I haven't seen the rest of the season yet, but Daya's mother hasn't been on screen for a couple of episodes.

[archer1267]

The exam was hilarious but the truth behind it was very sad.

 

 

I once had to take a test very much like that when I was a finalist for a job, and it haunted me when I didn't get it. Some of the questions were nuts (true or false: men with facial hair are repulsive) and I think there are much better ways to gauge whether someone is a good personality fit for an organization. I think it's a pretty big mind-fuck, actually, to give a test like this and then make someone wonder whether there's something "wrong" with them.

 

The one part of the test I liked was Flaca saying that most people want to be good...they just do messed-up things.

 

But yeah, on the flip side, I guess there's nothing great either about these women thinking that they're stellar when their names were chosen at random.

[SeanC]

After spending so much of the episode featuring various characters crowing about their plum, high-paying assignment, I was expecting it to be something gross/degrading, so sewing was a pleasant surprise.