Sweet Fellowship: Duggars and Friends (aka the Bates Family and Other Featured Families Thread)

[Oldernowiser]

3 minutes ago, laurakaye said:

I hope for the kids' sake it worked, at least temporarily.

This is going to sound weird, but I hope it didn’t.

I grew up in a household where we were all responsible for my father’s happiness...and lack thereof. Mostly lack thereof. We tiptoed around and hid in our rooms and dreaded the moment his car pulled into the driveway. And the dynamic lasted until his death in his nineties. He screamed at me about my job when they came to visit me when I was already in my fifties...screamed and insulted me to the point where my sweet husband was very close to decking him.

They finally went home...and my mother emailed me to tell me I needed to write my father a letter about how much I loved him. Sound familiar?

So I hope it didn’t work. I hope it failed and Jill continues to fall down the black hole of her narcissism. Mostly I hope her kids learn that they are NOT responsible for her manic highs and lows, that they can leave her to it because it’s all hers.

She’s creating a whole generation of pathological codependents and it will haunt them forever. Honestly, my best hope for them is that they’re removed from that house and the children get the help they need. 

[laurakaye]

1 minute ago, Oldernowiser said:

So I hope it didn’t work. I hope it failed and Jill continues to fall down the black hole of her narcissism. Mostly I hope her kids learn that they are NOT responsible for her manic highs and lows, that they can leave her to it because it’s all hers.

I'm so sorry, I hope I didn't come across as insensitive.  I am also very sorry for what you had to go through.

I would love for those kids to learn that they are not responsible for their mother's mood swings.  But as they have nearly no outside influences other than church friends, I wonder if anyone from the outside would see what's going on and step in to help the kids?  Or do they turn a blind eye because they're afraid to get involved?  Or - the worst of all - does someone see what life is like for the Rod kids and not even blink because they think it's normal?

[Oldernowiser]

1 minute ago, laurakaye said:

I'm so sorry, I hope I didn't come across as insensitive.

Of course you didn’t, please don’t feel bad about anything! We all view things from different perspectives. No need to apologize for that, ever.

[Absolom]

4 minutes ago, Oldernowiser said:

I grew up in a household where we were all responsible for my father’s happiness...and lack thereof. Mostly lack thereof. We tiptoed around and hid in our rooms and dreaded the moment his car pulled into the driveway. And the dynamic lasted until his death in his nineties. He screamed at me about my job when they came to visit me when I was already in my fifties...screamed and insulted me to the point where my sweet husband was very close to decking him.

I agree, I hope it hasn't worked.  My mother tried to bring me up this way of catering to my father to try to make him happy.  I remember that as an elementary age child I looked at her and said no.  He's a grown man supposedly an adult and I'm a child.  It isn't for me to take on doing all of that for him.  I wasn't brought up secluded like the Rodrigues kids and knew other families didn't operate that way.  I knew my father's sister would never have suggested kids being responsible for my uncle's moods.  I told her what was happening and she took both my parents to task.  It stopped a lot of my mother's actions, but my father didn't speak to his sister for years.  Narcissism is a wonderful thing - not.  

Jill won't stop as long as she's catered to and it does take some strength not to give in.  I hope someone helps the kids understand that their parents are the ones with issues (and subscriptions).

[libgirl2]

I can't help but think of the Turpin kids, celebrating their parent's vow renewals every year....

[Zella]

11 minutes ago, libgirl2 said:

I can't help but think of the Turpin kids, celebrating their parent's vow renewals every year....

Oh my God yes. I read a book about the Turpins last year, and the Rodrigues vibes were strong. 

[GeeGolly]

I've always gotten the impression that Jill goes the other (just as damaging) route. I picture her more of the Lauren type attention getter. Sulking, crying, saying things like "I don't understand", "I try my hardest", I serve God", then splaying out "defeated" saying, "I'll never give up", "Thank goodness for you children, you all see how hard Momma works", "Come give Momma a hug", "Lets go get a coffee".

So the kids spend their days worrying about their mom, becoming parentified and very protective and defensive. They likely walk on egg shells every time she goes on SM, wondering if she'll come off smiling or crying.

[SMama]

1 hour ago, PradaKitty said:

With the education of an 8 year old...

SGirl is in 8th grade and last night we had a Zoom meeting about high school graduation expectations. This is her third year in AVID and her designated HS doesn’t offer the program. But it’s the only HS that offers the IB program. Plus her former swimming coach is head swimming coach. We spent the rest of the night talking with SGirl about her multiple choices. It really breaks my heart that the Rod (Duggar, Bates, et al) kids will never get anywhere close to what we had last night.

[emmawoodhouse]

@GeeGolly, Timbits never returned to Fix Valley after his birthday break. The school closed for about 3 weeks, then reopened totally online. It is unclear as to whether he finished out the year after midterms (which coincided with his his trip home) or not. 

The less said about "Kaylee's" poem, the better. But we all knew a defense of martyr Mamma was coming. 🙄

[GeeGolly]

1 hour ago, emmawoodhouse said:

@GeeGolly, Timbits never returned to Fix Valley after his birthday break. The school closed for about 3 weeks, then reopened totally online. It is unclear as to whether he finished out the year after midterms (which coincided with his his trip home) or not. 

The less said about "Kaylee's" poem, the better. But we all knew a defense of martyr Mamma was coming. 🙄

Right, it was midterms. Now I remember, someone was researching how his school was going to handle classes with the pandemic.

[rue721]

1 hour ago, GeeGolly said:

I've always gotten the impression that Jill goes the other (just as damaging) route. I picture her more of the Lauren type attention getter. Sulking, crying, saying things like "I don't understand", "I try my hardest", I serve God", then splaying out "defeated" saying, "I'll never give up", "Thank goodness for you children, you all see how hard Momma works", "Come give Momma a hug", "Lets go get a coffee".

So the kids spend their days worrying about their mom, becoming parentified and very protective and defensive. They likely walk on egg shells every time she goes on SM, wondering if she'll come off smiling or crying.

Who knows, but with the way those kids cringe, I think Lovely Momma beats the shit out of them.

[emmawoodhouse]

3 minutes ago, GeeGolly said:

Right, it was midterms. Now I remember, someone was researching how his school was going to handle classes with the pandemic.

Right. They went virtual after a three week break (one of which was spring break).

[libgirl2]

3 minutes ago, rue721 said:

Who knows, but with the way those kids cringe, I think Lovely Momma beats the shit out of them.

Or maybe David with the urging of Momma? But I can see her doing it too. 

[Ljohnson1987]

Kaylee. Your Momma is your 'Hero' because right now, you have no one else to look up to. Nurie is my hero for escaping this shit show. Yeah, she married into another crazy family, but at least she'll be able to eat. 

[farmgal4]

7 minutes ago, rue721 said:

Who knows, but with the way those kids cringe, I think Lovely Momma beats the shit out of them.

I’d say that one of her and Shrek’s favorite Bible verses is “Spare the ROD, spoil the child.”  Jill probably thinks that particular verse was written specifically for her because ROD.

[farmgal4]

2 hours ago, laurakaye said:

I'm so sorry, I hope I didn't come across as insensitive.  I am also very sorry for what you had to go through.

I would love for those kids to learn that they are not responsible for their mother's mood swings.  But as they have nearly no outside influences other than church friends, I wonder if anyone from the outside would see what's going on and step in to help the kids?  Or do they turn a blind eye because they're afraid to get involved?  Or - the worst of all - does someone see what life is like for the Rod kids and not even blink because they think it's normal?

I suspect that the Rods, and Jill in particular, are well known in Wooster.  The rumor mill has most likely already labeled her as “nuts”.

[beagletime]

11 hours ago, BradandJanet said:

 

Tim certainly looked happy in that photo of what seemed to be a party with co-workers at the senior care center, so maybe the job was going well. That would have really set Jill off.  

I think this is exactly what set Jill off.   The picture looked like any group of co-workers who get along well.  Smiling, arms around each other's shoulders.  Celebrating a birthday.  To the rest of us it's just a normal work event picture, pre-covid anyway.

The Rod kids are not allowed to have any enjoyment beyond what Mama deems appropriate.  Making unapproved friends is unacceptable.  Standing next to a girl in pants is a straight trip to hell.  I hate to think what was said to Tim to get him back home.  My heart genuinely breaks for him.  At least he tried to get away and make a life.  Too bad he couldn't fall in with people who could guide him.  The Jill R. cult is horrible and far reaching.   I wonder what would happen if Nurie and her husband started having their own ideas.

Edited December 12, 2020 by beagletime
run on sentence and spelling

[ginger90]

Screenshot, Jill asks, “What are you doing to make a difference?”.

 

🤦‍♀️

[zoomama]

3 hours ago, libgirl2 said:

I can't help but think of the Turpin kids, celebrating their parent's vow renewals every year....

thinking of those kids hits close to homme for me. the final house they lived in is about 20 minutes from whee i currently live. their texas hoouse was ina small 'town' that i have driven through many times.  just too close to such a sad situation. 

[zoomama]

2 minutes ago, zoomama said:

thinking of those kids hits close to homme for me. the final house they lived in is about 20 minutes from whee i currently live. their texas hoouse was ina small 'town' that i have driven through many times.  just too close to such a sad situation. 

omg!!!  the spelling was terrible. that family  must really shake me up more than i was aware!

[BradandJanet]

1 hour ago, farmgal4 said:

I suspect that the Rods, and Jill in particular, are well known in Wooster.  The rumor mill has most likely already labeled her as “nuts”.

It's no wonder the Rods moved to that strange barndo. They needed to run and hide. People will eventually get her number because it's not possible to cover that much crazy. Everybody around her gets a dose of it. The good news is that she isn't pregnant. She'd be gloating. 

"Our Life is a Vapour?" (Is Jill British now?) Anyway, the vapor is entirely inside her head. It looks as if Gilbert, the cold sore, is hanging around. Maybe Jill's immune system is weak. 

 

[ginger90]

Kaylee and Renee have a business:

 

https://www.etsy.com/listing/908987266/christmas-themed-earrings?fbclid=IwAR0ZhqRKIrwcXEW0zSxanKpC0T2oaNPHFvldw3HNK82nHEjtzZntviDpgbA

[dargosmydaddy]

Quote

What a beautiful pair of faux leather earrings! These are delicate and simple, but you are sure to be swept off your feet when you place these in your ears! Don't wait until it is too late.

This description cracked me up...

And then there's this photo. Because I definitely want to buy earrings that have been laying in dirt...

Edited December 12, 2020 by dargosmydaddy

[Chicklet]

I for one am concerned for the lack of Dingussses. Where have they gone? Did they annoy Jill with the lack of presents? No more cows? No more cakes?

Edited December 12, 2020 by Chicklet

[Oldernowiser]

1 hour ago, dargosmydaddy said:

This description cracked me up...

And then there's this photo. Because I definitely want to buy earrings that have been laying in dirt...

Wow. Those so very sad.

[OpieTaylor]

7 hours ago, BradandJanet said:

... I hereby excuse Kaylee from official authorship of the dumbest poem ever to appear on this discussion board. 

This made me LOL and reminded me of this quote from the Happy Madison movie: "what you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul." 

Here's a link to the clip, it's so funny: 

 

[Panopticon]

Quote

Fill your home with the smell of your choice by ordering a handmade, primitive air freshener. 

When I think Rods, I think “smell of my choice.” I hope one of the options is called SEVERE.

Okay, I don’t really want to mock the girls for their Etsy shop. It’s just one more example of how poorly educated they are and how limited their options are. 

[BradandJanet]

42 minutes ago, Chicklet said:

I for one am concerned for the lack of Dingussses. Where have they gone? Did they annoy Jill with the lack of presents? No more cows? No more cakes?

David accidentally ate a couple of them. Dingus=beef. The others left town.  

[LilJen]

On 12/9/2020 at 8:36 AM, ginger90 said:

This is the verse she quoted:

 

On 12/9/2020 at 4:34 PM, iwantcookies said:

Day 11. Basically if a woman works outside of a home she will be unfaithful. 

So. . .  So much for the much-lauded Proverbs 31 woman, who DOES in fact run a business, making deals in the marketplace and purchasing real estate in addition to running the household.

[galaxygirl76]

8 hours ago, skipnjump said:

I always wonder why the kids are writing odes and poems to Mama and giving her gifts ALL of the time and nothing for their Daddy?  It's like he doesn't even exist to them except for having fathered them.  And I know Jill is responsible for all of the kids behaviors, but it would be nice to see both parents recognized.

I fear that, like Tinkerbell, Jill needs applause to stay alive.

[emmawoodhouse]

6 minutes ago, galaxygirl76 said:

I fear that, like Tinkerbell, Jill needs applause to stay alive.

True, but even after going private, she's still not allowing comments. Something's gotta give there. 

[Ohiopirate02]

4 hours ago, ginger90 said:

Screenshot, Jill asks, “What are you doing to make a difference?”.

 

🤦‍♀️

I'm trying to figure out what exactly is in plexus because Jill looks like a meth addict. 

[Temperance]

The Bontragers have a new grandbaby! Tucker Allen Bontrager was born Monday December 7, 2020.

Tucker is the second son of Mitchell and Bryn Bontrager.  He joins big brother, Micah. 

This is the Bontragers' 8th grandchild. They have 2 grandchildren from each of their four children, who got married 2017.  Each couple had a baby this year. All of their kids have 2 boys, except Carson and Carolina Bontrager who have 2 girls. 

[DangerousMinds]

1 hour ago, Panopticon said:

When I think Rods, I think “smell of my choice.” I hope one of the options is called SEVERE.

Okay, I don’t really want to mock the girls for their Etsy shop. It’s just one more example of how poorly educated they are and how limited their options are. 

What is a primitive air freshener??

[emmawoodhouse]

4 minutes ago, DangerousMinds said:

What is a primitive air freshener??

I don't know. Ask Kaylee.

https://www.etsy.com/shop/SistersCreationsKR?ref=nla_listing_details

[Triple P]

9 hours ago, DangerousMinds said:

I don’t know who wrote what, but the lack of consistency in the spelling of momma, mama, mamma drives. Me. Crazy. 😢

Me too! I started paying attention to the way Jill identifies herself when signs off instagram posts with - love Momma (Jill) because I noticed the spelling changes. She has settled on signing off as "Momma" for awhile now. 

[Temperance]

50 minutes ago, DangerousMinds said:

What is a primitive air freshener??

An evergreen branch. 

[libgirl2]

6 hours ago, ginger90 said:

Screenshot, Jill asks, “What are you doing to make a difference?”.

 

🤦‍♀️

What the hell is going on here?

[emma675]

6 hours ago, ginger90 said:

Screenshot, Jill asks, “What are you doing to make a difference?”.

 

🤦‍♀️

She looks like a woman on the edge of a nervous breakdown. What the hell is in Plexus??

[emmawoodhouse]

Check out the cards. Especially the "Happy Birtday" one. I can't believe no one caught this.

Edited December 12, 2020 by emmawoodhouse

[Portia]

1 hour ago, emmawoodhouse said:

Check out the cards. Especially the "Happy Birtday" one. I can't believe no one caught this.

I didn't see birtday cards...only thank-you and sympathy cards. Can you direct me?  Edited to add: NM, now I see Emma's image above. Not sure why I didn't see that before.

I really hate it that I doubtTim's story about being shown something objectionable by a classmate because If it were true, it would be a Title IX violation that should have been addressed by the teacher. But thanks to his mother's pattern of prevarication, my reaction to that story has always been a hard eye roll. I do hope I'm right and it was all a deliberate exaggeration, though. It's not okay for anyone to show you sexually explicit material without your consent, and I can see someone as sheltered as This is Timothy being traumatized by even an R-rated sex scene.

Edited December 12, 2020 by Portia

[farmgal4]

7 hours ago, dargosmydaddy said:

This description cracked me up...

And then there's this photo. Because I definitely want to buy earrings that have been laying in dirt...

WTF?!?!?! 😶 All of their earrings for sale are horrible, just horrible, but thankfully they’re not all laying in dirt.  

Edited December 12, 2020 by farmgal4
Changed a word

[farmgal4]

5 hours ago, emmawoodhouse said:

True, but even after going private, she's still not allowing comments. Something's gotta give there. 

I’m not sure she ever allowed comments on IG.  Only close friends are allowed to comment on FB.  Jill can dish it out, but she sure can’t take it.

5 hours ago, LilJen said:

 

So. . .  So much for the much-lauded Proverbs 31 woman, who DOES in fact run a business, making deals in the marketplace and purchasing real estate in addition to running the household.

Jill cherry-picks the Bible according to her agenda.

[graefin]

28 minutes ago, farmgal4 said:

WTF?!?!?! 😶 All of their earrings for sale are horrible, just horrible, but thankfully they’re not all laying in dirt.  

They're all so amateurish. They might want to learn to use something other than children's scissors to cut out the shapes so at least the outlines would be even. What's shocking is the number of people who have them in their carts. Do they just have poor taste, or are they trying to help the poor girls out?

[GeeGolly]

How old are the next two Not-Nuries? Those earrings, cards and air fresheners are 10 year old level work at best. Its sad. 

[GeeGolly]

Someone should send these links to the Not-Nuries.

https://www.etsy.com/search?q=Handmade Sympathy Cards

https://www.etsy.com/search?q=faux leather earrings&ref=auto-1

[MunichNark]

Those earrings!😱 Badly cut, all over the place. Do the NotNuries have to work for their tiny morsels of food now?

What happened to no wimminz may work? And who needs FIVE sympathy cards?? (No one, I hope) And those prices seem high.

Dunno if anyone is on Fundie Wonderland, but someone called Lena Marie or something replied on Jill's post to say that she has heard from Nurie how badly she treats her children. I'm hoping things will explode soon in order for them to have some sort of future.

Timmay has already lost out on life, he should get a lowkey job at some supermarket or so and find a mentor to guide him through life. Nurie is relegated to third place since the NotNuries are now on offer.

 

[Panopticon]

3 hours ago, MunichNark said:

3 hours ago, MunichNark said:

 

What happened to no wimminz may work? And who needs FIVE sympathy cards??

 

 

Lots of people if the Rods keep hosting “turkey funeral” super spreader events, since sacrificing to protect others from a highly contagious deadly disease is for the less godly among us. 

Edited December 12, 2020 by Panopticon

[ginger90]

4 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

How old are the next two Not-Nuries? Those earrings, cards and air fresheners are 10 year old level work at best. Its sad. 

Kaylee is 19, Renee is 18.

[ginger90]

Jill and David got married on October 4, 1997.
 

Edited December 12, 2020 by ginger90