Sweet Fellowship: Duggars and Friends (aka the Bates Family and Other Featured Families Thread)

[Zella]

1 minute ago, galaxychaser said:

Always ready=joyfully available 

It certainly seems very . . . open to interpretation. 

[doodlebug]

3 hours ago, Zella said:

Wow, even with the warning that the clothing is hilarious hideous, I was still not adequately prepared for that. 

And, just think, back in the day, Lydia not only designed and made all of her daughters’ clothes; she also SOLD clothing just like it to other fundies.  She had a catalog of sorts with her daughters modeling her various creations and customers could order up an outfit by sending Lydia their measurements and the cash and she’d whip up the dress and ship it out.  She had some fairly amazing swimming costumes available too.  She seemed to be a very good seamstress., too bad she used her powers for evil and not good.

She also sold the various head coverings that she and her daughters wore.  To me, living in Amish country, the Purples dress like typical Mennonites but Lydia always made it clear that they were their own special brand of fundie Christians and not Pennsylvania Dutch or other variant.  I think that Mr Purple, like so many other controlling fundie headships, decided to start his own church because the local establishment wasn’t Godly enough.

Edited February 6, 2020 by doodlebug

[Zella]

2 minutes ago, doodlebug said:

And, just think, back in the day, Lydia not only designed and made all of her daughters’ clothes; she also SOLD clothing just like it to other fundies.  She had a catalog of sorts with her daughters modeling her various creations and customers could order up an outfit by sending Lydia their measurements and the cash and she’d whip up the dress and ship it out.  She had some fairly amazing swimming costumes available too.  She seemed to be a very good seamstress., too bad she used her powers for evil and not good.

She also sold the various head coverings that she and her daughters wore.  To me, living in Amish country, the Purples dress like typical Mennonites but Lydia always made it clear that they were their own special brand of fundie Christians and not Pennsylvania Dutch or other variant.  I think that Mr Purple, like so many other controlling fundie headships, decided to start his own church because the local establishment wasn’t Godly enough.

OMG I think I've seen those swimming costumes! I didn't put two-and-two together. Let me dig around in my email. I am pretty sure if it is what I am thinking about, I emailed a link to my stepmom so we could snark on them together several years ago. 

[Zella]

Maybe it was a different lady with a similar aesthetic. The link I found and snarked on was from a blog called Large Families on Purpose. But the URL is broken now. 

[Sew Sumi]

Erika Shupe! She's done almost a complete 180. Wears pants, sends her kids to public school, and other stuff that you would never have expected from her when she was blogging.

[Zella]

3 minutes ago, Sew Sumi said:

Erika Shupe! She's done almost a complete 180. Wears pants, sends her kids to public school, and other stuff that you would never have expected from her when she was blogging.

Wow that's an interesting turn of events. 

[galaxygirl76]

Which fundie couple was the one who got engaged at an Arby's, had her father put on the engagement ring because they were not touching until marriage, and she proudly carried a ruler around to make sure they kept the appropriate distance? I think those were all the same couple but it's been a while. 

[andromeda331]

On 2/3/2020 at 10:07 PM, PikaScrewChu said:

I truly believe the Bateses are not that much different than the Duggars. Gil and Kelly have had the advantage of watching the Duggars bumble through the media circus and as a result appear more savvy and "realistic". I really do not think they are all that different and would just suck up supporting one of their sons if it came down to it.

But I'm cynical and don't think much of the Bateses. The less women shackled to that clan, the better in my opinion. Run women ruuuuuun!

They really aren't. The Bates are a shinier version of Duggars but that's it. Gil and Kelly are every bit as horrible as JB and Michelle. They used buddy systems and forced their daughters to do everything. See Callie sobbing at Michael's wedding because Michael was leaving, and Judson sobbing at Tori's wedding because Tori was leaving. They are both as lazy and don't do anything. They constantly borrowed money from Lawson for groceries which I doubt they ever paid back. They constantly scrub their website and blog trying to erase things they've said and done that put them in a bad light. They supported Pearls until they started getting noticed and that disappeared. They put up pictures showing Confederate generals including the grand wizar of the KKK on their blog. When people asked about them Kelly claimed it was their "Patriot room" people continued to point out all the Patriots were Confederates and sometime after that they were taken down. They "look" like they loosed rules on clothes and other things. But one that's just "looks" after all they didn't take down the Confederate generals because they saw the light but because people kept commenting on them and it made them look bad. Same with the infamous "grooms" cake, at Erin's wedding Gothard was there and they had a second cake for him his birthday. It had his name on it. But after Gothard was out Kelly tried to claim it was a grooms cake. Even though the picture she put up still had the Happy Birthday Gothard on there. The Bates still do chaperons they were even training new ones when Josie was courting Kelton.  While Zach did kiss Whitey before marriage he still ended up confessing to his parents that they kissed. Then told his siblings what he did and how it was mistake, and he hoped they learned from his mistake. Although I do wonder whether he was forced to do that or chose on his own and later regret it. Out of all the Bates he's been the only one who's made comments that sounds like he disagrees with his parents. From Winnie the Pooh to question his parents about what they were doing on their dates in the episode when Gil and Kelly are training new chaperons. Gil knew Gothard was sexually harassing girls and covered it up until Gothard became a liability and help throw him out.

On 2/5/2020 at 4:49 AM, sondraK said:

I'm wondering about Nathan and Trace,as I don't watch the show.What have they done that's dickish? LOL

I don't remember Trace maybe someone can remind me. Nathan on the other hand has shown to be an asshole. When he went to ask Ashley to court he made a lot jokes about her being a Northern. He went off on Tori when she was trying out hair styles for her wedding about hair and how putting her hair up would be the worse decision she could ever make and she's regret it. I wish I was kidding and it went on for several minutes. When Michael was getting married and went to try on dresses he went along with Lawson and another brother (maybe Trace I don't remember) to be rude to Michael about the dresses she tried on and shared his views on being brutal honest to women that if he thinks they look terrible and he will tell them. So despite being a complete jerk to Michael he saw it as being "truthful". Shut up Nathan. Even self-obsorb Lawson tried to tell him that's probably not a good idea. He's really been a jerk more and more since his courtship ended. 

Edited February 6, 2020 by andromeda331

[BigBingerBro]

I have not watched much of the Bate's show, but I do recall seeing one cringe-worthy episode where one of the guys was all nervous building up to asking a girl to court.  He was sweating like a pig and kept moping his head with a washcloth.  The girl seemed as nervous as him and it was all very awkward.  I think ultimately the girl called it off and the guy was devastated.  Which Bate boy was that??

[Barb23]

1 hour ago, BigBingerBro said:

I have not watched much of the Bate's show, but I do recall seeing one cringe-worthy episode where one of the guys was all nervous building up to asking a girl to court.  He was sweating like a pig and kept moping his head with a washcloth.  The girl seemed as nervous as him and it was all very awkward.  I think ultimately the girl called it off and the guy was devastated.  Which Bate boy was that??

That sounds like Zach's first courtship.  (I forget the girl's name.)  Zach was physically out of sorts with his emotions in asking her to court. Shows how immature he was at the time because of how he was raised. Not only wasn't he used to talking to a member of the opposite sex but he had to string some thoughts together and ask her to court.

[charmed1]

Still trying to convince people that they feed these kids.

 

 

[Zella]

3 hours ago, andromeda331 said:

Nathan on the other hand has shown to be an asshole. When he went to ask Ashley to court he made a lot jokes about her being a Northern. He went off on Tori when she was trying out hair styles for her wedding about hair and how putting her hair up would be the worse decision she could ever make and she's regret it. I wish I was kidding and it went on for several minutes. When Michael was getting married and went to try on dresses he went along with Lawson and another brother (maybe Trace I don't remember) to be rude to Michael about the dresses she tried on and shared his views on being brutal honest to women that if he thinks they look terrible and he will tell them. So despite being a complete jerk to Michael he saw it as being "truthful". Shut up Nathan. Even self-obsorb Lawson tried to tell him that's probably not a good idea. He's really been a jerk more and more since his courtship ended. 

Wow, what an asshole. And yes that confirms my suspicion that the issue is with them rather than there are no fundie girls out there that would be interested. And if that's how he acts when he is being filmed, I shudder to think how he acts behind closed doors. 

[3 is enough]

Nathan broke up with Ashley in 2016 and he's still single.  I think that speaks volumes.  Having his questionable behaviour documented on a tv show certainly can't be helping, and on a more shallow note he really has let himself go.  

I think marrying any of the Bates boys off is not going to be an easy task.  With the girls it was so much easier because basically they just had to be pretty and open to having a honeymoon baby.  Once Katie is formally snapped up there is going to be a fairly long drought until Addallee is of age.

Edited February 6, 2020 by 3 is enough

[galaxygirl76]

57 minutes ago, charmed1 said:

Still trying to convince people that they feed these kids.

 

 

Not pictured the row of kids waiting for their bite while Shrek eats the rest. 

Edited February 6, 2020 by galaxygirl76

[FizzyPuff]

1 hour ago, charmed1 said:

Still trying to convince people that they feed these kids.

 

 

Of course she feeds her kids, once a month that’s how many times you feed them right? 

[Zahdii]

4 hours ago, BigBingerBro said:

I have not watched much of the Bate's show, but I do recall seeing one cringe-worthy episode where one of the guys was all nervous building up to asking a girl to court.  He was sweating like a pig and kept moping his head with a washcloth.  The girl seemed as nervous as him and it was all very awkward.  I think ultimately the girl called it off and the guy was devastated.  Which Bate boy was that??

I remember that.  It was obviously something that was orchestrated by the parents of both children.  They may not have been children in age, but they were children in their actions, although I got the impression that the girl was farther along on the maturity scale than Zack was.  The girl, Sarah Reith, was sitting on the porch, surrounded by a lot of a lot of Zach's and her siblings.  More members of both families were gathered on the lawn.  Everyone knew what was coming.

Zach's parents had him inside encouraging (pressuring) him to go out and ask Sarah if he could court her.  He was so nervous he was practically unable to speak.  He squeaked out something like "Can I court you?" while all of the other kids giggled.  Sarah looked embarrassed and giggled a bit before she said yes.  It was horribly awkward.

Zach gave a talking head just minutes later where he was shaking, crying, and going on about how he was so grateful she said yes.  Talked about God and his parents helping him to this big decision.  It was so obvious that even though he liked the girl as much as he could for as much time as they'd spent together, he was a mess, and should never have been in the position he was in.

He spent more time with Sarah and her family after that, traveling with them when they were on the road with their ministry/singing show, and spent more time with them at their home.  His mother smugly blogged about it for a time.  Zach and Sarah was proof that parents, with the guidance of prayer, were better able to find mates for their children than they would find on their own.  Their kids would have better marriages, love for each other grounded in God, never stray from the path and everything was going to be sunshine and crosses for them from then out.  So there!

What actually happened was that the more time Sarah spent with Zach, the less enamored she was with him, while he cluelessly got more and more infatuated with her.  Pictures and short film clips give clues as to what was happening.  Sarah went from appearing to be thrilled with Zach, to looking away from him when they were sitting side by side, stiffing up a bit when he got too close, and giving short answers when questioned about their courtship.

Meanwhile, Zach was shown practically smothering Sarah with his need to be as close to her as he could get and his thrill when she gave him any type of mildly affectionate attention in return.  I think his 12 year old mind was overwhelmed the idea of getting his first girlfriend, and his 24 year old body was sending out a lot of hormones.  He didn't have outside friends, sports, hobbies, or parents to divert his attention.  His whole life was geared toward getting married.  He didn't have anyone to tell him to slow down and back off.  No one to tell him that the girl just wasn't that into him, and his parents were actively trying to get their own show like the Duggars had.

The courtship was cancelled by a phone call to Gil by Sarah's father, when Zach was home with his family and still thinking that he was going to marry Sarah.  Nothing was mentioned on Kelly's blog for months, but people kept asking what was happening.  Their questions were ignored and deleted.  No wedding date was being announced, no more pictures of Zach with Sarah were posted, just radio silence.  Finally, Kelly announced that the courtship was off, mutual decision, no questions would be answered about it in the future, and her blog was scrubbed of any mention of Sarah.

Zach was devastated, and it's no surprise that he eschewed any attempts by his parents to set him up again.  He met Whitney at a fast food restaurant and started a relationship on his own, but when his parents found out about it, they got involved.  I'm sure Kelly and Gil were perfectly nice to Whitney when they were around her, but there are stories about Kelly trying to get Zach interested in other fundie maidens that were deemed more acceptable.  It obviously didn't take, but Gil and Kelly still have a lot of influence on Zach and Whitney.

[charmed1]

1 hour ago, galaxygirl76 said:

Not pictured the row of kids waiting for their bite while Shrek eats the rest. 

Ha! That brings to mind Homer Simpson being force fed donuts from a conveyor belt in the Ironic Punishment Department of Hell. The demons were perplexed when he ate their entire supply. Or Slimer going to town on all the room service trays in that haunted hotel in Ghostbusters.

[farmgal4]

22 hours ago, doodlebug said:

I might be psychic or that information might've been stored somewhere in my brain.  I've also followed fundies long enough to know that when the wife dies, the husband usually finds a young girl to marry to raise the kids and give him more blessings.

For those interested in seeing some photos of the Purple girls, this site has them as well as some updates on them.  I have no idea if the daughter who is 'always ready' still is.

https://wtffundiefamilies.tumblr.com/post/145155705600/if-anyone-out-theres-been-fundie-watching-on-the/amp

Towards the bottom of the page, someone is getting married, and I’ve never read anything like the enormous amount of begging for wedding gifts/money/building supplies for the newly-married couple.  It takes a lot of balls to beg to that extent.  I’m literally SMDH while muttering WTF is wrong with these people. 🤯

[LolaGeek]

7 hours ago, galaxygirl76 said:

Which fundie couple was the one who got engaged at an Arby's, had her father put on the engagement ring because they were not touching until marriage, and she proudly carried a ruler around to make sure they kept the appropriate distance? I think those were all the same couple but it's been a while.

That was Kristina and Josh, and you can follow her Facebook page here - she's since cut her hair, gone through a long journey with mental health (she also started a blog and/or podcast about mental health x religion), and seems to have paused the baby train after 5 kids (two are twins).

[libgirl2]

39 minutes ago, LolaGeek said:

That was Kristina and Josh, and you can follow her Facebook page here - she's since cut her hair, gone through a long journey with mental health (she also started a blog and/or podcast about mental health x religion), and seems to have paused the baby train after 5 kids (two are twins).

She doesn't look like the typical fundie. 

Edited February 6, 2020 by libgirl2

[ginger90]

8 pictures in the first, 6 in the second:

 

 

 

 

Edited February 6, 2020 by ginger90

[BitterApple]

The bedroom looks like the interior of some quirky Vermont thrift shop. I've never seen so many secondhand dressers crammed into one space.

[Sew Sumi]

Oh myyyyyy.....

[Ijustwantsomechips]

That Jill is a real clutter monkey isn’t she?  I guess I have to give her credit for the room seeming clean and organized in an everything-has-to-have-it’s-place-cuz-the-fire-marshall-will-shut-this-shit-down-cuz-it’s-more-crammed-than-a-hoarder’s-linen-closet sort of way.   

[Dimi1]

23 minutes ago, ginger90 said:

8 pictures in the first, 6 in the second:

just saw the pics...If I were her...I would go for all one color furniture...I like open and funky (my old house used to be a big open floor plan..we actually had one wall that was a window that led to a stairwell. It was done in dark taupe, white , grey and natural wood.) when we sold our house it sold in 5 minutes and there were 15 people bidding...so the issue to me is really not the open space or even things crammed in...I mean with 8 girls in there what is she gonna do??? but go for all one color furniture ...make each space a vignette of design....some of the furniture looks scratched and just a mess.....

 

 

 

 

[doodlebug]

9 minutes ago, Ijustwantsomechips said:

That Jill is a real clutter monkey isn’t she?  I guess I have to give her credit for the room seeming clean and organized in an everything-has-to-have-it’s-place-cuz-the-fire-marshall-will-shut-this-shit-down-cuz-it’s-more-crammed-than-a-hoarder’s-linen-closet sort of way.   

Well, it's clean and organized because they just set it up, let's see how it looks in a couple of weeks.  I grew up in a large family and we had 4 sisters sharing one big bedroom but it never was as cluttered and jammed with stuff as that bedroom.

If I had to sleep in there, I'd be having panic attacks from claustrophobia.  I think Jill limits their portions so she can keep the little girls small enough for toddler beds for as long as possible.  I couldn't imagine how much worse that room would be if all the beds were full sized.  They're going to need to get a couple of the NotNuries married off pronto.

[emma675]

It's ironic that they put "Paris" in gigantic letters on that wall. Someplace none of those girls will probably ever get to see. 

[andromeda331]

2 minutes ago, emma675 said:

It's ironic that they put "Paris" in gigantic letters on that wall. Someplace none of those girls will probably ever get to see. 

I'm surprised that was allowed to be done. Isn't Paris a place of full of sin and sinners for Fundies?

[Fostersmom]

I get they can pick up those second hand dressers for dirt cheap, but it would be much more space efficient to just get a few large dressers, have a few kids clothes in each. You can't tell me those kids have that many clothes in that many sizes anyway. Then the kids might actually be able to walk around the furniture. It looks like the princess bed is completely trapped in and Sofia has to climb across the toy box to get in. And seriously, why are the outlets all like 3 feet off the ground? I've never seen such a thing. Sure, most homes have higher ones in the kitchen or the bathroom, but this place has them all about 3-4 feet high.  

[Westiepeach]

They literally could not fit one more thing in those rooms.

[galaxychaser]

Too much furniture! Too much crap! No thanks.

[galaxygirl76]

So much claustrophobia, so little time. 

[Ijustwantsomechips]

I think those outlets are so high because it was originally a commercial building. That’s exactly where the outlets are in the storage room that’s attached to my garage.  It looks like the Amistad with all those damned bunk beds. They couldn’t find anything suitable with at least 3 bedrooms?

OAN: I know a lot of us wondered how the Rodriguii are funding this latest endeavor since they appear to be in a less than ideal socio-economic situation. It reminds of an episode of Dateline I saw about 25 years ago.  It was about homeless families and there was one couple in particular that stuck out.  The husband had lost his job, and the wife refused to work because she valued being a SAHM above all else.  

Eventually they lost their home but do you think that lazy cow bothered to work?  Nope? So they ended up living in a school bus with their four or five young children.  I have nothing against SAHM although you literally couldn’t pay me to do it, but if I ever become that sanctimonious and self-righteous please shoot me.  Whatever benefits your kids received by having you home all day got cancelled out by the lack of stable housing and the tension I’m sure it caused in their marriage.  Not to mention the shit ton of processed foods they no doubt had to eat. 

That’s a fuzzy recollection, but I clearly remember she didn’t work and they did live in a bus. David and Jill remind me of that family.  They’re willing to abandon common sense and sacrifice everyone’s comfort & well being for their principles and causes.  It also makes me wonder if this is like JB and his senate campaign.  The money is there for what they want to do it with, but not what they don’t.  

[ginger90]

[BetyBee]

She didn't even take the knobs off. I don't particularly like it and I bet it looks awful close up.

[libgirl2]

1 hour ago, ginger90 said:

8 pictures in the first, 6 in the second:

 

 

 

 

My God, what if there was a fire??? And the closet looks like.... a closet. 

[SMama]

David knows how to do EVERYTHING except getting a JOB. 

[3 is enough]

Back to the Bates boys for a minute, I bet Kelly has a reputation in their social group for being the mother-in-law from hell.  That alone might steer a lot of prospective brides in the opposite direction. 

I bet Whitney has some stories to tell.  I get the impression that she and Zach have distanced themselves a bit from the party line.  Between her clothing choices, the real estate job, and Zach becoming a REAL police officer who actually works on Sundays sometimes, it seems they have eased up on the Kool-Aid.  

Edited February 7, 2020 by 3 is enough

[MargeGunderson]

Just now, 3 is enough said:

Back to the Bates boys for a minute, I bet Kelly has a reputation in their social group for being the mother-in-law from hell.  That alone might steer a lot of prospective brides in the opposite direction. 

I bet Whitney has some stories to tell.  I get the impression that she and Zach have distanced themselves a bit form the party line.  Between her clothing choices, the real estate job,  and Zach becoming a REAL police officer who actually works on Sundays sometimes, it seems they have eased up on the Kool-Aid.  

And I bet Kelly blames Whitney for all of it.

[Mojitogirl]

Carlin Bates really comes across as very very dumb. 

[Steff]

3 hours ago, ginger90 said:

As someone who recently redid a bathroom & restained the cabinets, I think a blood vessel in my brain just burst.  Not only didn't she take off the knobs, she didn't take the doors off/drawers out to stain them.  Talk about half assing it, she sure did that 100% half assed.  She didn't clean the doors first, sand them, degrease/deshine/clean them.  She just slapped some stain on them.  I bet they are still tacky a week from now.  The stain will probably rub off in places because of her half assed job.  And if I, the most unhandy/clusterfuck of a painter that has probably ever walked upright can do it the right way, there's NO excuse for her to half ass it.  I also did it all alone while my husband was away for school for months.  Figured out how to take the doors off, how to work the hand held sander, what to use to degrease/deshine/clean them before sanding them all while crawling my fat ass around in a small bathroom to accomplish everything.  So even if she had to do it all by her special snowflake lonesome, she could have done a decent job. 

Edited February 7, 2020 by Steff

[lianau]

9 hours ago, charmed1 said:

Still trying to convince people that they feed these kids.

 

 

The drawing of Shrek in the background is pretty good though .

[3 is enough]

58 minutes ago, Mojitogirl said:

Carlin Bates really comes across as very very dumb. 

So the good news is the baby was released today.  Her blood tests were good and the jaundice has subsided.  

So guess what they did?  They took her to the "big house" to meet all of her aunts and uncles because, and I quote,  "Since it is flu season the hospital would not allow anyone under 12 to visit.  So we are taking Layla to meet them now."

I know the baby was in the hospital for jaundice and not any flu or respiratory issues.  I still question the wisdom of taking her over to meet the family.  Sure, the kids don't go to school.  But Katie is at Crown- she could have been exposed and then exposed all of the others.  I don't know what the incubation period for flu is but I would not take a chance.

So yeah, Carlin really comes across as very dumb.

[doodlebug]

5 minutes ago, 3 is enough said:

So the good news is the baby was released today.  Her blood tests were good and the jaundice has subsided.  

So guess what they did?  They took her to the "big house" to meet all of her aunts and uncles because, and I quote,  "Since it is flu season the hospital would not allow anyone under 12 to visit.  So we are taking Layla to meet them now."

I know the baby was in the hospital for jaundice and not any flu or respiratory issues.  I still question the wisdom of taking her over to meet the family.  Sure, the kids don't go to school.  But Katie is at Crown- she could have been exposed and then exposed all of the others.  I don't know what the incubation period for flu is but I would not take a chance.

So yeah, Carlin really comes across as very dumb.

Yes, God forbid the kids under 12 should have to wait to 'meet' the baby.  Because we all know how thrilled they probably are with another niece and kids that age are so into newborns anyway.  Except not.  And Layla is a newborn, she surely doesn't care either way as long as her diaper's dry and her tummy is full.  This fundie obsession with passing newborns around the room like a bowl of peanuts drives me crazy.  If the kids really want to see the baby so badly, they can FaceTime to do it.  Then they can come to visit a couple at a time over the next few weeks until everybody gets their big chance to hold a newborn because that, of course, never happens in this family ever and it might be their only chance.

[galaxychaser]

Jill does everything half assed : raising kids, feeding them, remodeling house. 

[lookeyloo]

1 hour ago, Mojitogirl said:

Carlin Bates really comes across as very very dumb. 

She and Evan posted a you tube video. If this has been mentioned I apologize. They both seem ditzy. 

[BitterApple]

3 minutes ago, lookeyloo said:

She and Evan posted a you tube video. If this has been mentioned I apologize. They both seem ditzy. 

It showed up in my feed yesterday. I made it to the thirty second mark before I couldn't take any more. They're both so phony and contrived, not to mention dumb as a box of rocks. 

[awaken]

4 minutes ago, BitterApple said:

It showed up in my feed yesterday. I made it to the thirty second mark before I couldn't take any more. They're both so phony and contrived, not to mention dumb as a box of rocks. 

So then what does that say about joy that they are best friends?  😱

[Absolom]

4 minutes ago, awaken said:

So then what does that say about joy that they are best friends?  😱

They probably relate quite well.  Neither one will be challenged by the other.

[Barb23]

4 hours ago, libgirl2 said:

My God, what if there was a fire??? And the closet looks like.... a closet. 

How do they make it out in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom?  (oops, I meant to the On Suite)