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Sweet Fellowship: Duggars and Friends (aka the Bates Family and Other Featured Families Thread)


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If a person/family was never featured on any of the Duggar shows, and is not related to the Duggar family by blood or marriage, they do not need to be discussed here..

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24 minutes ago, Temperance said:

Well both Marjorie and Lauren Duggar claim/have some hispanic heritage.  Nathan Bates was dating/ courting a  young woman named Ashley Sayler, who is black and mixed race. Ashley is on Instagram and you can learn more about her on the FJ Nathan Bates thread. 

Basically I think the Bates and Duggars would be okay with some who shares their beliefs marrying into their families. I think this is especially true of the Duggars, who seem less hung up about race than the Bates. 

If I'm not mistaken one of Kelly Bates' sisters is a woman of color. 

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27 minutes ago, Sew Sumi said:

Kelly's mom adopted two African American girls after Kelly moved out of the house. 

Ok....but why do I have this gut feeling they'll never be married off and will forever be SAHD? (now I'll just drop it)

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5 hours ago, ChiCricket said:

Ok....but why do I have this gut feeling they'll never be married off and will forever be SAHD? (now I'll just drop it)

I don't think that's true. Kelly Bates's mom isn't fundie, as far as I know and my internet research showed. One of the things that annoys me about that generation of fundies meaning ( Kelly and Gil, JB and Michelle, Steve and Teri Maxwell, etc.) were all raised non-fundie and had the benefits of living in the real world.  Then they became fundies and didn't give their adult children much of a choice on how they get to live their lives.  The one exception that I can think of is JIll Rod, who was raised fundie.

Edited by Temperance
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12 hours ago, PikaScrewChu said:

NIKE!!!

This picture is very defrauding. The tight jeans, the tight shirt with the top buttons undone. Oh my. NIKE!

Don"t forget the necklace.

Kelly must be having heart failure.

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On 10/7/2018 at 9:44 AM, dargosmydaddy said:

 

 

There isn't a chance in hell that any of the Bates boys would be allowed to marry Nurie Rodrigues even if one of them professed to be head-over-heels in love with her. Gil and Kelly have worked hard over the years to change their image from poor, out-of-touch fundy family to middle class, modern fundy. They're not about to let Nurie drag them down or remind people of who they used to be.

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I decided to check out the Maxwell's site. It's been a while. 

There were Happy Anniversary congrats for one of the sons(?Chris) & his wife Anna Marie.  Married 8 years with 5 kids. Wow!  Terry answers the comment sections & on one she mentioned that Chris waited a long time for the wife God had in store for him. (Did I get that line correct?) He was around 30. She makes it sound like he was 50. 

Another blog was about giving the daughter in laws a day off while Terry &the girls took care of the kids. I do think that was nice. I think it was Anna Marie that ended up at the Maxwell's house for a nap and to do "office work." Yes, she quoted it that way in the blog.  That really caught my attention. I wonder why she quoted "office work." Couldn't she just say paperwork or bills & why was it quoted?  I know I'm making way too much out of it but I found it strange. (I know it's the Maxwells.) It kind of hit me like they were making a big deal that Anna Maria was able to do "office work" even though she is a stay at home mom & would never be allowed to work in an outside of the home office.

It's funny that even though Terry commented on Chris getting married at an older age (for them,) it's never mentioned that all the daughters are getting older,  are unmarried & live at home. IIRC, 2  of the daughters are in their 30s.  I would love to ask Dad Maxwell why the daughters aren't able to move out into a debt free home before marriage like he encourages  (makes) the sons do. I still can't get that picture out of my mind showing  2 of the daughters having to sleep in bunk beds at their ages. 

I try not to snark much on people's looks but I can't help it with the Maxwell daughters. I know looks aren't everything but no wonder Prince Charming  hasn't found them yet. I really think the Bates ladies could help them with more modern make up,  modest clothing, and hair cuts.  Even some of the Duggar ladies could give pointers.   Since they all have the horsey like faces with long foreheads & long hair, they could definitely use hairstyles with bangs, shorter lengths & maybe some layers & coloring.  They need their thick eyebrows thinned out. Simple make up would look nice.  They need to get rid of the floor sweeping denim skirts. Outdated polo shirts as well. I haven't noticed their shoes but am sure they could use an update as well. They don't have to be the Bates gals high heels. A nice pair of flats would do wonders.

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39 minutes ago, Barb23 said:

I decided to check out the Maxwell's site. It's been a while.<snip>

 Since they all have the horsey like faces with long foreheads & long hair, they could definitely use hairstyles with bangs, shorter lengths & maybe some layers & coloring.  They need their thick eyebrows thinned out. 

 Omgosh..thanks for the Maxwell rabbit hole. ? 

 The eyebrows are pretty bad, but they're almost in fashion now.? (Ugh)

 

rps20181027_135802.jpg

Edited by ChiCricket
Repetitive ughs
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@Barb23 Anna and Mary Maxwell are both in their twenties. Mary is 22 and Anna is about 25/26.  Sarah Maxwell is 36. 

I have known a lot of women who wore no make-up, jewelry, and dressed like the Maxwells do now,  and still had no problem finding husbands. I think the real problem is they're not meeting people especially eligible men and they would have trouble to talking to men if they met them. I don't think they have much confidence in interacting since they've been isolated much of their lives from other people.

Anna Marie and Chris have 5 children in 8 years. Anna and Josh Duggar have 5 children in 10 years. 

I do like that none of the Maxwell brides were teenagers. Most of the Maxwell brides were older than most of the Duggar/Bates brides.

@ChiCricket There was a hilarious rant by a father about how men don't care about your eyebrows. (You can google it.)  Both the Maxwell eyebrows and the Rod eyebrows have been commented on, but I don't think men care about eyebrows.  

Edited by Temperance
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46 minutes ago, ChiCricket said:

 Omgosh..thanks for the Maxwell rabbit hole. ? 

 The eyebrows are pretty bad, but they're almost in fashion now.? (Ugh)

 

rps20181027_135802.jpg

Does she also talk like Gilbert Gottfried?

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I know fuller eyebrows are in but theirs definitely  need a trimming.  

No matter if they are in their 20s or 30s, no one over about the age of 16 should have to sleep in bunk beds.  They can't arrange the beds better in their room?  Couldn't they make a suite for the girls or a room for the brother that is still home in the basement? Or would they be too far away from the parents?  They showed a picture of their basement in one of the blogs & at least some of it is unfinished. 

I agree part of their problem is not being around others their age.  But geez with all the conferences & seminars & coffee shops  they go to, you would think one of them would have found Prince Charming by now.  Where did the brothers meet their wives? I know one is a Bontrager.

Edited by Barb23
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7 hours ago, Albanyguy said:

Or saddle themselves and their son with a busload of greedy, grasping, poverty-stricken in-laws who would always have their hands out.

The Rodriquez girls will be forced to marry the guys that no one else will have for that ⬆️ very reason.  Just one more way that JRod has royally fucked over her children.

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On 10/26/2018 at 4:50 PM, PikaScrewChu said:

100%. He's looks like the kind of guy your friends warn you to stay away from.

Judging by the "97" after his name, I'm going to assume he's 21. If I were a teenage ( Fundie or maybe not)  girl, I would be all over that.

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7 hours ago, ChiCricket said:

 Omgosh..thanks for the Maxwell rabbit hole. ? 

 The eyebrows are pretty bad, but they're almost in fashion now.? (Ugh)

 

rps20181027_135802.jpg

That is a whole lot of gum going on.....

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52 minutes ago, doodlebug said:

You should've seen her before the braces.  The Maxwell girls, particularly Mary, had some scary teeth.  And it is kinda scary that I can recognize her without checking.

 

I think that's a big reason for it.  The Maxwell girls have been so thoroughly dominated by Daddy, I suspect they don't dare even think about meeting men.  They're too afraid of their father's reaction. They've been isolated from the rest of the world by homeschooling and their lifestyle. They don't go to church, Daddy conveniently runs all services right there in their own home.  But, they do a lot of 'educational' stuff like the chore packets and Sarah is an 'author', writing fundie approved really awful children's books.  They get out there and peddle their wares as a lot of fundie gatherings, and, since it seems like marriage for fundie daughters is often brokered by their parents anyway; they don't need to have a lot of personality or looks.  They're not going to catch the made-for-TV crowd, but there are plenty of other fundies out there who would match up with them.  Amongst other things, those girls have SKILLS: they cook well, they sew, they keep house, they work in their family business which is seemingly much more successful than most fundie business ventures.  The girls have even been shown working construction and doing major remodeling with their brothers and father and it looks like they do very good work.  So, they've got the helpmeet thing down.  Their mom had a gajillion kids, so the prospects for fertility are excellent. They should've been able to find husbands based on meeting the brief, the only thing standing in their way is their father.

The other reason I don't think their looks are a big factor is that they aren't the only fundie daughters who are waiting at home while their brothers are married off with no problems.  See: the Botkin sisters.  Very pretty, they wear makeup, have gorgeous hair, dress in stylishly modern fundiewear, but are sitting on the shelf into their 30's.  The common denominator: creepy, domineering Daddy.

You know, I know the fundies like to pretend women are asexual creatures BUT one of the reasons societies promoted “no sex before marriage” AND expected people to follow it was because people got married in their late teens/early twenties, so it wasn’t so odd to actually wait. Don’t these fundie parents fear for their daughters virtue keeping them unmarried for so long?!! MOST humans have an innate need for partnered sex. Choosing a celibate life because you are called to it for personal or religious reasons is one thing, but being forced due to the lack of a spouse is another. 

Is the reason Tabitha Paine settled for the anal rapist because she thought this was the ONLY chance for sex or companionship in their twisted world?!

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1 hour ago, Scarlett45 said:

Is the reason Tabitha Paine settled for the anal rapist because she thought this was the ONLY chance for sex or companionship in their twisted world?!

Yes, plus it's the only way to get adult status, especially for women. Jim Bob seems to be an anomaly, keeping his adult sons at home in kidult status. Most of the other prominent cultish Fundies want their sons to be more financially independent than the Duggar males seem to be.

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@doodlebug ypu are so right about the dad being in charge of marrying off the daughters especially in the case of the Maxwells. 

In one of the blogs Terry was telling that the family gets up early to have Bible Time.  She said it starts out with each of the daughters & son having a one on one talk with Steve to discuss religion or whatever is on their minds. I find this kind of creepy. It's fine to meet with a parent if that's your choosing  but with the Maxwells, it sounds like the kids dont have a choice.  I wonder if Terry is allowed to join them. 

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57 minutes ago, Nysha said:

Yes, plus it's the only way to get adult status, especially for women. Jim Bob seems to be an anomaly, keeping his adult sons at home in kidult status. Most of the other prominent cultish Fundies want their sons to be more financially independent than the Duggar males seem to be.

Jim Boob has the luxury of having enough money to keep his kids under his thumb whether they're male or female, married or unmarried.  He loves his control and I think he finds it worthwhile to spend the money keeping control of his brood.  As far as marrying off daughters, Boob was practically salivating over the idea of his daughters' wedding nights.  For Steve Maxwell, I don't think he could stand the thought of some male, no matter how godly and debt free, defiling one of his slaves robots daughters. They're both overly preoccupied with their adult daughters sex lives, just in different ways.  It's so damn creepy!!!

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2 hours ago, Nysha said:

Yes, plus it's the only way to get adult status, especially for women. Jim Bob seems to be an anomaly, keeping his adult sons at home in kidult status. Most of the other prominent cultish Fundies want their sons to be more financially independent than the Duggar males seem to be.

But at least he lets them get married . The Arndt family isn't marrying off any of their offspring .

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1 hour ago, Normades said:

Jim Boob has the luxury of having enough money to keep his kids under his thumb whether they're male or female, married or unmarried.  He loves his control and I think he finds it worthwhile to spend the money keeping control of his brood.  As far as marrying off daughters, Boob was practically salivating over the idea of his daughters' wedding nights.  For Steve Maxwell, I don't think he could stand the thought of some male, no matter how godly and debt free, defiling one of his slaves robots daughters. They're both overly preoccupied with their adult daughters sex lives, just in different ways.  It's so damn creepy!!!

Yes! I was going to comment that most of these families are so poor, they need to get the boys out so they can stop having to feed and clothe them. But JB has his kingdom where his boys are money makers for him, so he wants them there as indentured servants. 

TH\he fundie girls left on the shelf, I would bet the longer you stay there, the harder it is to get off -- all the guys your age are married and now you have to wait for 1. some creepy guy who could never find a bride or 2. a widower who needs someone to raise his kids. I seriously feel bad for these girls who have done everything "right" according to their cult and still haven't been matched with a Godly spouse and eleventy blessings.  You know they sit around wondering where they went wrong. 

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  • I've read some excerpts from some of the stay at home daughter literature (by the Bodkins maybe?) and they right out say that pleasing your father is one of your duties as an adult daughter, up to and including wearing his favourite colour. I can't say I'm surprised that a control freak like Steve Maxwell isn't giving that up.
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5 hours ago, Barb23 said:

@doodlebug ypu are so right about the dad being in charge of marrying off the daughters especially in the case of the Maxwells. 

In one of the blogs Terry was telling that the family gets up early to have Bible Time.  She said it starts out with each of the daughters & son having a one on one talk with Steve to discuss religion or whatever is on their minds. I find this kind of creepy. It's fine to meet with a parent if that's your choosing  but with the Maxwells, it sounds like the kids dont have a choice.  I wonder if Terry is allowed to join them. 

Terri probably slips away to have a sip of Pepsi while it's all going on.

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4 hours ago, satrunrose said:
  • I've read some excerpts from some of the stay at home daughter literature (by the Bodkins maybe?) and they right out say that pleasing your father is one of your duties as an adult daughter, up to and including wearing his favourite colour. I can't say I'm surprised that a control freak like Steve Maxwell isn't giving that up.

That is so gross. 

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10 hours ago, doodlebug said:

You should've seen her before the braces.  The Maxwell girls, particularly Mary, had some scary teeth.  And it is kinda scary that I can recognize her without checking.

The photo on this page is Anna Maxwell. Mary has longer, straighter hair. 

Edited by Temperance
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7 hours ago, satrunrose said:
  • I've read some excerpts from some of the stay at home daughter literature (by the Bodkins maybe?) and they right out say that pleasing your father is one of your duties as an adult daughter, up to and including wearing his favourite colour. I can't say I'm surprised that a control freak like Steve Maxwell isn't giving that up.

That sounds like the Botkin sisters, they're the poster girls for the Stay-at-Home Daughter movement.  They made a documentary a while back called 'Return of the Daughters' where they discussed how important it was for young women who had finished their schooling to stay home and perfect their womanly homemaking skills rather than enter the working world.  They also wrote a book on the topic and still have a blog selling their books and films as well as promoting the movement.

I believe it was their daddy, creepy Geoffrey Botkin, who used to run a retreat for young women where they were indoctrinated into their responsibility to care for their father.  And, yes, wearing clothing that meets with Daddy's approval is a big part of it.  Hairstyles and makeup are also chosen according to his preferences.  Part of the retreat's activities involved training the daughters to care for their fathers in very creepy, somewhat suggestive, fashion.  Giving Daddy extra special personalized care in the form of shaving him was part of the course.

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Went down they Lisa Whechel rabbit hole after she was brought up in the Dillard thread. The Botkin sisters, the Maxwell family, JillR, the Bates, the Duggars ... Fundamentalism is defined as unwavering beliefs and literal interpretation of scripture. Yet there still seems to be a large spectrum of Fundyism. 

Who picks what interpretation of scripture to be followed? The Bible touches on so many things and no matter what Fundy's think interpretation is subjective.

What is the defining line between a Super Christian and a Fundamentalist?

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2 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

What is the defining line between a Super Christian and a Fundamentalist?

Super Christians get a red t-shirt with a shiny blue 'C' sewn onto the front?

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OMG!  That story about Lisa Welchel marrying a guy she doesn't love was horrible.  That's one of the things that really stinks about fundamentalism.  I doubt any male would be forced into such a situation.  How sad for her and how sad that her children know their mother really didn't have romantic feelings for their father.  I'd love to hear more about what happened if anyone has reading suggestions.  

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Wow. I just looked at the Botkin sisters website.  I'm going to need some time & a clear head to fully check that one out. Their relationship book is something.  One of the chapters is titled "Why we're interested in boys (and why that's a good thing)"

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32 minutes ago, doodlebug said:

I think she's not a very nice person.

Wow! That was enlightening!  You're right that she definitely had choices since she was actually an adult and had the means to support herself unlike so many of these young girls (and boys).  I had no idea what she was like.  I did think her story about not being attracted to the man, but marrying and having children with him seemed a bit cruel.  She made sure to let the reader know that although she was not attracted to him, he was DEFINITELY attracted to her (how could he not be!).  I did cringe about their engagement being announced without her consent, but now I'm wondering if that's even true.  It seems she's engaging in revisionist history.  Well, now we've found one way the idea of giving women little to no choice comes in handy for a select few.  It absolves them of any responsibility when things go wrong.  She sure paints a picture of being the poor virginal, white sheep being led and coerced by her groom, her parents, and her church.  Is there a website where I can get more info?

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17 minutes ago, Normades said:

Wow! That was enlightening!  You're right that she definitely had choices since she was actually an adult and had the means to support herself unlike so many of these young girls (and boys).  I had no idea what she was like.  I did think her story about not being attracted to the man, but marrying and having children with him seemed a bit cruel.  She made sure to let the reader know that although she was not attracted to him, he was DEFINITELY attracted to her (how could he not be!).  I did cringe about their engagement being announced without her consent, but now I'm wondering if that's even true.  It seems she's engaging in revisionist history.  Well, now we've found one way the idea of giving women little to no choice comes in handy for a select few.  It absolves them of any responsibility when things go wrong.  She sure paints a picture of being the poor virginal, white sheep being led and coerced by her groom, her parents, and her church.  Is there a website where I can get more info?

I found it at a website called 'The Blair Necessities'.  It appears the folks who run it are not exactly Whelchel fans, but they do have screenshots that they claim came from Lisa's former online scrapbook.  Except for the fact that the entries are more than 10 years old, the bloggers could be members here, there is some hilarious snarking on Lisa's fundamentalism.  Amongst other things, since Steve fell off the roof while hanging Christmas lights, they wonder why Lisa doesn't realize his accident was Jesus' fault and renounce her faith.

http://theblairnecessities.blogspot.com/2006/07/when-daddy-fell-off-roof.html

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On 10/26/2018 at 3:57 PM, ChiCricket said:

 But they didn't get married. Could be a coincidence..who knows.

They didn't get married because I don't think Ashley wanted to leave NY to live in the country. I'm sure that she loves NY more than the thought of marrying into fundie royalty.  

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