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Sweet Fellowship: Duggars and Friends (aka the Bates Family and Other Featured Families Thread)


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I think Chad has gone into some sort of building furniture/selling houses business.

Erin cares hugely to the point of obsession about appearances, which is why she is caked in make up and has her hair done. It also explains why her house looks like nobody lives in it, although I'm sure she too has messy days. But it speaks volumes about her inner feelings that she needs to present such a controlled environment. Her upbringing must have been horrifically chaotic and lacking basic security.

Due to my upbringing - which was nothing like hers I should add - I too have control issues that I live out differently, but I'm pretty sure that she has major issues going on.

I hope she'll stop having babies now, her health will suffer for it if she doesn't. I reckon that the older girl child is a handful too, her expressions speak volumes.

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Didn't Chad say on Bringing Up Bates that he quit his job to go into construction? I don't know why you wouldn't keep the steady job and do construction on the side at least until you've build up enough business to make it full time job. 

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That's the most non made-up look I've ever seen on Erin. She didn't have time for foundation like she normally does. You can see she has freckles in those photos. Usually she has a strong tanner foundation that covers her freckles--- including the ones where her older daughter was in the hospital?

As for Chad, it sounds like he and Erin might be going back to Gothardism. Lots of children and he is going to work for himself.

Edited by Temperance
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8 hours ago, Fuzzysox said:

Erin Bates had her baby today. She too looks like a beauty queen after giving birth.

https://www.usmagazine.com/celebrity-moms/news/bringing-up-bates-erin-and-chad-pain-welcome-baby-no-3/

 

7 hours ago, Heathen said:

Erin looks about as real as a Kartrashian. Good grief. Does Chad change all the diapers and do the housework while she devotes time to her hair? 

My mom swears childbirth changed the color of my hair.  I had lighter hair with blonde highlights at the time, not overly done. When they wheeled me to my room she didn't recognize me at first, my hair was darker. I think it was just sweaty & messed up from the shower cap they put on me for my c-section.  Plus for some reason during labor, I was comfortable with my right arm across my forehead/hair adding to the mess.  No way could i have gotten myself that dolled up so soon after childbirth. (Well maybe I could have if my pictures were going in Us magazine. Lol)

Having the perfect look does seem to be a priority with the Bates girls both with themselves & their children. 

ETA:  Glad both of them had uneventful births with healthy babies (so it seems) esp Erin with her clotting issues during pregnancy. What a difference than the Duggar girls who have us sitting on the edge of our seats clutching our pearls, waiting to find out about their crazy childbirths.

Edited by Barb23
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Erin was still in the hospital when those pictures were taken. So much eye makeup on, too. How could she stand up and do her hair just hours after having a baby?

I agree that her obsession with 'the look' is over the top.  Does she realize that her hairstyles are about 45 year out of date? She's fixed on the Tammy Wynnette look. Senior Prom Night 1974. I also find her personality to be fake.

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30 minutes ago, floridamom said:

Erin was still in the hospital when those pictures were taken. So much eye makeup on, too.

 

Looks like false eyelashes also.

Brooklyn looks sassy....wouldn't take the lollipop out of her mouth for the pic..... and showing some toddler-cleavage. (Surprised Erin let that pic get published.)

Super-cute kids tho.

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I hope their kids are heavy sleepers or the Paine house is going to feel very small when they are wanting their kids to sleep. I swear one of my kids would wake up if I got within 2 inches of her door.

I just don't get these Quiverfull families buying 2 bedroom homes. It makes no sense.

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37 minutes ago, GeeGolly said:

I hope their kids are heavy sleepers or the Paine house is going to feel very small when they are wanting their kids to sleep. I swear one of my kids would wake up if I got within 2 inches of her door.

I just don't get these Quiverfull families buying 2 bedroom homes. It makes no sense.

Chad and Erin are renting. Last episode I saw they wanted to buy a house but said they were going to wait a while longer. 

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8 hours ago, Temperance said:

As for Chad, it sounds like he and Erin might be going back to Gothardism. Lots of children and he is going to work for himself.

I'm wondering the same. I was holding out hope that Erin would limit her family size based on her clotting disorder, but three kids in three years isn't making me optimistic. 

1 hour ago, GeeGolly said:

 

I just don't get these Quiverfull families buying 2 bedroom homes. It makes no sense.

I think being crammed like sardines is just normal for them. The logistics of having two toddlers and an infant sharing a matchbox bedroom would have me swallowing birth control pills like tic-tacs, but it doesn't seem to phase Chad and Erin. 

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That's a lot of makeup. Compared to the photos after her other births she looks tired.  I think having three difficult pregnancies in less than 3 years is definitely taking a toll on her.  She does not look as"glowing" as Alyssa does.  Also, she did not snap back as quickly as her sister did after baby #2, and I bet that as looks-oriented as she is it bugs the heck out of her.

Oh Chad.  I thought you were smarter than that.  I understand wanting to go into business for yourself but you don't take that leap when you have little kids and a wife who refuses to take precautions to prevent "surprise" pregnancies.  He really needs to do something to stop this madness.

Good luck to her keeping everything picture perfect with 3 kids under 3.  The room looked cute but that baby crying will wake up the other 2.  Hopefully they have a basinette and keep the newborn with them for the first little while.

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16 minutes ago, 3 is enough said:

 

Oh Chad.  I thought you were smarter than that.  I understand wanting to go into business for yourself but you don't take that leap when you have little kids and a wife who refuses to take precautions to prevent "surprise" pregnancies.  He really needs to do something to stop this madness.

 

The irony is, if Erin quit demanding custom-made furniture and new paint on the walls every three months, Chad could've probably kept his original job and done furniture making on the side. You know, for money. 

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3 minutes ago, BitterApple said:

The irony is, if Erin quit demanding custom-made furniture and new paint on the walls every three months, Chad could've probably kept his original job and done furniture making on the side. You know, for money. 

Isn't that the truth? 

Funny how Erin uses Instagram to post photos of her "perfect" life, but if you pay attention she is inadvertently showing how it may not be a perfect as it once was.  The frequency of her posting has dropped dramatically, and it has been ages since she showed a photo of a "just because" gift from her "thoughtful hubby".  I imagine that money is pretty tight these days, and while she was always pretty frugal they may not be able to afford those little luxuries that she was so fond of sharing.

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On 3/29/2018 at 8:35 PM, PradaKitty said:

I just realized something. Weddings for these girls are like going to the prom for the rest of us! Dressing up, looking pretty, getting pictures taken, etc....

And since they don’t get the prom experience, this is the whole thing ( prom, graduation, wedding and of course, all night grad party (aka wedding night) and senior trip (honeymoon) !!

AND they lose their virginity on Prom night! 

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Going in to give birth in full glam makeup seems to have become a trend. I have seen tons of women post pictures after giving birth looking even more done up than Erin.

2 hours ago, BitterApple said:

The irony is, if Erin quit demanding custom-made furniture and new paint on the walls every three months, Chad could've probably kept his original job and done furniture making on the side. You know, for money. 

I think just a few weeks ago she said Chad made or refinished every piece of furniture in the kids room and he made her a custom coffee table for Valentines Day. Poor Chad, but hey, he's the one in control and still wanting to have unprotected sex. Erin's treatments and hospital births aren't cheap.

Edited by Lunera
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4 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

I hope their kids are heavy sleepers or the Paine house is going to feel very small when they are wanting their kids to sleep. I swear one of my kids would wake up if I got within 2 inches of her door.

I just don't get these Quiverfull families buying 2 bedroom homes. It makes no sense.

I’m inclined to give them a pass on this. Little kids don’t really NEED a lot of space. Better to save money. Hopefully by adolescence they can get a place with some privacy for the kids 

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5 hours ago, Fuzzysox said:

Chad and Erin are renting. Last episode I saw they wanted to buy a house but said they were going to wait a while longer. 

Must be code for "can't afford it." 

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5 hours ago, 3 is enough said:

That's a lot of makeup. Compared to the photos after her other births she looks tired.  I think having three difficult pregnancies in less than 3 years is definitely taking a toll on her.  She does not look as"glowing" as Alyssa does.  Also, she did not snap back as quickly as her sister did after baby #2, and I bet that as looks-oriented as she is it bugs the heck out of her.

Oh Chad.  I thought you were smarter than that.  I understand wanting to go into business for yourself but you don't take that leap when you have little kids and a wife who refuses to take precautions to prevent "surprise" pregnancies.  He really needs to do something to stop this madness.

Good luck to her keeping everything picture perfect with 3 kids under 3.  The room looked cute but that baby crying will wake up the other 2.  Hopefully they have a basinette and keep the newborn with them for the first little while.

Alyssa's last two pregnancies are much closer together.  Alyssa's youngest two kids are 14 months apart. Erin's are 19 months apart and that's with her baby being born a month early.  

Did Erin really say she was surprised she was pregnant? Anybody who doesn't use birth control or take precautions shouldn't be too surprised. Erin seems to be fully on the letting-God-control-the-family-size train. I think part of that is she is so close to her mother. I'm sure Kelly really pushes her daughters to not give in to temptation and get birth control. 

Both Erin and Alyssa managed to have their first three a few months further apart than one of the Duggarlike people I know.  Her 2nd two were as close as Alyssa's with the first one being further away from her 3rd birthday. 

Edited by Temperance
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Chad won't do anything to stop the baby train. He may seem nicer than, say, Derelict Dullard or Smuggar Duggar, but he's just as fundie as they are. His family are Gothardites and married his sister off to the anal rapist, remember? 

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I wonder why we’ve never had a Duggar/Bates wedding? There have been plenty of marriageable kids of similar ages over the years. The Bates girls are all stunners, if you don’t mind the heavily-made-up look, and it seems like they’ve all managed to find guys who are superior (in looks at least) to the Duggar boys, but i’m surprised that none of the Duggar girls have ever courted a Bates boy. They are attractive, reasonably self-supporting, and from acceptable fundie stock. Maybe the Bates are steering clear of the Duggars? 

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2 hours ago, mynextmistake said:

I wonder why we’ve never had a Duggar/Bates wedding? There have been plenty of marriageable kids of similar ages over the years. The Bates girls are all stunners, if you don’t mind the heavily-made-up look, and it seems like they’ve all managed to find guys who are superior (in looks at least) to the Duggar boys, but i’m surprised that none of the Duggar girls have ever courted a Bates boy. They are attractive, reasonably self-supporting, and from acceptable fundie stock. Maybe the Bates are steering clear of the Duggars? 

I'm both surprised and not surprised at the lack of a Duggar - Bates marriage. I think their friendships were really just seeing each other 2 or 3 years a year at religious functions and connecting because of their similar family size.  It seems both parents were focused on getting their oldest son married and Jana and Michaela were very immature at the time. I'm a little surprise that Jessa and Lawson didn't end up together though. I think they're around the same age. Maybe the problem was Jessa and Lawson both thought (and still think?) very highly of themselves and thought they were too good for each other or maybe neither wanted to move.

But eventually I think the older Bates children 'out grew' the stunted Duggar children while they pursued interests and the Duggar 19 continued to sit in their living room.

I think only Katie and Johannah are left as possible pairings with maybe the twins or Jason for Katie and Warden or Isaiah for Hannie. Oh and maybe Jackson and Addallee.  

Katie is similar to Jason in that she's kind of the forgotten middle child and they'll both be 18 this year. So who knows maybe they'll be the ones.

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2 hours ago, mynextmistake said:

I wonder why we’ve never had a Duggar/Bates wedding? There have been plenty of marriageable kids of similar ages over the years. The Bates girls are all stunners, if you don’t mind the heavily-made-up look, and it seems like they’ve all managed to find guys who are superior (in looks at least) to the Duggar boys, but i’m surprised that none of the Duggar girls have ever courted a Bates boy. They are attractive, reasonably self-supporting, and from acceptable fundie stock. Maybe the Bates are steering clear of the Duggars? 

I think both families know that the sons from the other family have limited earning potential and tried to find men with better earning potential in the beginning. For years, Jim Bob used to say that his ideal son-in-law made a certain salary (around 30,000 per year iirc) and then finding know he settled with Ben for Jessa. (Derick's working at Walmart may have complied with that. One reason Jill got married before Jessa.) Both families seem less worried about earning potential now.  

Josie and the youngest Bates?

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(edited)
9 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

But eventually I think the older Bates children 'out grew' the stunted Duggar children while they pursued interests and the Duggar 19 continued to sit in their living room.

I think you hit the nail on the head here.  The Bates' homeschool seems to have been far superior to the Duggar's, and Crown College, such as it is, is preferable to nothing. For a little while the Duggars were promoting an online college option (can't remember the name) but it fizzled out pretty quickly.

 

9 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

Oh and maybe Jackson and Addallee.  

Jackson is 13 and still acts like an 8 year old.  I think there may be some unaddressed issues there.  Unless he starts to act more grown up in the future I can see him at home forever.

Edited by 3 is enough
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37 minutes ago, 3 is enough said:

Jackson is 13 and still acts like an 8 year old.  I think there may be some unaddressed issues there.  Unless he grows up at some point I can see him at home forever.

He does seem to have a weird Peter Pan thing going on. 

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1 hour ago, 3 is enough said:

I think you hit the nail on the head here.  The Bates' homeschool seems to have been far superior to the Duggar's, and Crown College, such as it is, is preferable to nothing. For a little while the Duggars were promoting an online college option (can't remember the name) but it fizzled out pretty quickly.

 

Jackson is 13 and still acts like an 8 year old.  I think there may be some unaddressed issues there.  Unless he grows up at some point I can see him at home forever.

And he'll be 14 in May.

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3 hours ago, 3 is enough said:

I think you hit the nail on the head here.  The Bates' homeschool seems to have been far superior to the Duggar's, and Crown College, such as it is, is preferable to nothing. For a little while the Duggars were promoting an online college option (can't remember the name) but it fizzled out pretty quickly.

 

Jackson is 13 and still acts like an 8 year old.  I think there may be some unaddressed issues there.  Unless he starts to act more grown up in the future I can see him at home forever.

CollegePlus! Known colloquially as College Minus. It's even more useless than Clown College. 

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Alyssa posted pictures on Instagram of the family going to church this morning.  I understand that it is Easter, but I really question the wisdom of bringing a 4 day old newborn to a crowded church service.  I know flu season is technically over but evidently there is a second strain still out there that is primarily infecting children.  That's a risk I would never consider taking.

But she was prepared! Matching outfits for all 3 girls,and a really pretty dress for herself.  She was holding the baby so I couldn't see her midsection but she really doesn't look like she gave birth 4 days ago.

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Yeah, I think newborns should stay out of crowds unless absolutely necessary, Easter doesn’t count as s “necessary”. 

As for Duggar/Bates coupling, I get the feeling that Kelly and Gil can only take Jimblob in small doses, and don’t necessarily want to subject any of their children to his jimbobness  I also think Jeremy’s parents can’t take much of Jimblob at all, and neither can Derrick’s stepfather. 

And... as I have stated before, the Bates kids have personalities and can function in the real world, unlike most of the Duggar spawn.

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15 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

I'm both surprised and not surprised at the lack of a Duggar - Bates marriage. I think their friendships were really just seeing each other 2 or 3 years a year at religious functions and connecting because of their similar family size.  It seems both parents were focused on getting their oldest son married and Jana and Michaela were very immature at the time. I'm a little surprise that Jessa and Lawson didn't end up together though. I think they're around the same age. Maybe the problem was Jessa and Lawson both thought (and still think?) very highly of themselves and thought they were too good for each other or maybe neither wanted to move.

But eventually I think the older Bates children 'out grew' the stunted Duggar children while they pursued interests and the Duggar 19 continued to sit in their living room.

I think only Katie and Johannah are left as possible pairings with maybe the twins or Jason for Katie and Warden or Isaiah for Hannie. Oh and maybe Jackson and Addallee.  

Katie is similar to Jason in that she's kind of the forgotten middle child and they'll both be 18 this year. So who knows maybe they'll be the ones.

Jessa needed someone who would put up a facade of being a headship (to preserve the ideological brand) while letting her run the show behind the scenes. I’m not sure Lawson would have gone along with that. She and Ben are a really good match, actually, possibly the best match of the Duggar couples (although Jinger/Jeremy and Kendra/Joe also seem well suited). He’s easygoing enough that he seems happy to let her make most of the family decisions and when he does insist on something it seems to be something that’s beneficial (such as eating fruit and vegetables).

I think Jessa has the most raw intelligence of the Duggar kids. It’s a shame that any of them were raised to be incurious and uneducated, but I think it’s especially sad in her case. In another environment I think she could really have done something with her life. I think you’re spot on when you say that the Bates kids outgrew them intellectually. Their homeschooling seems to have been a lot better and even Clown College is better than what the Duggars got. 

  • Love 12
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1 hour ago, PradaKitty said:

Yeah, I think newborns should stay out of crowds unless absolutely necessary, Easter doesn’t count as s “necessary”. 

As for Duggar/Bates coupling, I get the feeling that Kelly and Gil can only take Jimblob in small doses, and don’t necessarily want to subject any of their children to his jimbobness  I also think Jeremy’s parents can’t take much of Jimblob at all, and neither can Derrick’s stepfather. 

And... as I have stated before, the Bates kids have personalities and can function in the real world, unlike most of the Duggar spawn.

I keep trying to figure out how Derwood's stepfather stands Cathy! 

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5 hours ago, 3 is enough said:

Alyssa posted pictures on Instagram of the family going to church this morning.  I understand that it is Easter, but I really question the wisdom of bringing a 4 day old newborn to a crowded church service.  I know flu season is technically over but evidently there is a second strain still out there that is primarily infecting children.  That's a risk I would never consider taking.

But she was prepared! Matching outfits for all 3 girls,and a really pretty dress for herself.  She was holding the baby so I couldn't see her midsection but she really doesn't look like she gave birth 4 days ago.

I 100% agree.  I'm a Christian, but when my girls were born (one of then born this past December) my pediatrician specifically recommended against going to church because "if someone is sick, they are likely to decide against going to Target.  But they will go to church." She gave us permission to go to restaurants, malls, etc.  But was really reluctant at the thought of us going to church. 

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No 4 day baby should be out and about nor the mom.  Just take it easy, sleep when you can adn the folks that can't get that, show them the door. The number of things that that baby could be exposed to is mind boggling.  The odds of her staying asleep for a long arse Easter service is slim.  Mom, can't be feeling good after getting herself and the girls ready, not to mention GIVING BIRTH 4 DAYS AGO.  Why can't you do a small celebration at home and call it good?

On the other hand when I was born, back in the dark ages, my mother was having Braxton-Hicks contractions starting at around 1 am.  She still got up, prettied herself up and took herself to the early Easter mass.  Then I stalled and wasn't born for about 30 hours later - my father and me use to tell her it's because she insisted on going to church while in LABOR that I refused to come out.  LOL

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