S19.E01: Week 1

[StatisticalOutlier]

I always thought the contestants should wear name tags.

 

I think everyone should wear name tags, period. It'd be weird at first, but really useful once everyone gets used to it.

 

But for this show, it's a particularly good idea.  Give them an adhesive sticker and some markers and stickers and glitter and say, "Make yourself memorable, and knock off the cringe-inducing crap.  You're embarrassing yourself enough just being on the show." 

 

 

Mackenzie looks like Beavis. Thank you.

 

You know who looks just like Beavis?  Jim Lampley.

http://cdn.hark.com/images/000/355/012/355012/original.jpg

 

Back to the show, Tara reminds me of Carly the lesbian on Burning Love.

[leighdear]

Chris obviously knows how to ride, so I imagine he grew up on dirt bikes and the like.  You don't just mount a Harley & take off down a dirt road with no training.  He rode it easily and well, even with the spanking new boots & gear.  I actually thought it was a really good look for him.

 

And as far as local talent, in a town the size of his, he's probably known every single girl anywhere near his age since he was born.  Most girls probably married their High School boyfriends and started pumping out the kids.  I'd be interested to know how many of the kids he graduated high school with actually went off to college and OUT into the world.  Probably damn few.  And even in college, most guys don't have their focus on finding a wife. 

[ramble]

Finally got to watch! It's slightly sad how much I was anxiously awaiting my kids to have time to watch this with me. Initial thoughts on the red carpet: I felt like Nikki was asking for her reinstatement in Bachelor Nation. Maybe for BiP2? I love crazy Chris B & his unabashed fame whore ways. He stayed front & center in as many camera shots as he could & I swear it looked like he was getting some random B'Nation girls number.

"I want to ride a horse through a field of sunflowers." Hahahaha. It's on her bucket list. She just thought that was worth sharing. Thanks.

Was the onion that turned out to be a pomegranate actually a pomegranate? My oldest child thought it looked more like a member of the citrus family. I loved production just going with the crazy. Sure, go pick it.

I think Britt is lovely to look at but as soon as I saw waitress & LA tagged with her name I could smell the actress opportunity desperation rolling off of her in waves. I watched the short of hers that was linked (thanks!) & thought she was good, although I found the guy better, but she wasn't anything much more than the other bazillion hopefuls desperate to be the next big thing.

I don't know how to handle listening to nasal vocal fry baby voiced Whitney. It's like a congested Kardashian with a little Dugger thrown in the mix. Make it stop.

My kiddos had the best idea when they tried to pretend it was just 15 girls. They suggested two sets of B'ettes with no knowledge of the other. Group A & Group B. Chris dates both groups, alternating until it's down to his final two & they fight to the death to win Prince Farming. Sort of a Hunger Games/Cinderella mash-up.

[KR Vermont]

I was thinking the second group of 15 was gypped, in terms of them having 30 women clamoring for Chris's attention versus the relative cozy first group of 15 who had him to themselves for a seeming extended time...so I'm mildly curious* as to how many women from each group were gifted a rose...

*but not curious enough to research the answer, because it doesn't really matter one whit

 

It's amusing how there are always women who've sat around the cocktail party for hours, growing indignant that they haven't had a chance to talk to [insert bachelor's name]. 

[lulee]

Like others,   I was working on my computer and failed to see who was cut.   Please tell me the pomegranate girl made it.   Anyone who gets that het up by pomegranates is ok in my book.     Also, the gangly girl who came in wearing shorts.    She looked rather naturally beautiful in this  heavily made up and be haired bunch.    Also natural seeming was the scraggly haired girl who named her kid after a salad green, but sadly,  as another intrepid poster noticed, she DOES look like Beavis. 

 

Chris is homely, IMO.    I was idly wondering if he's Greek based on his last name, but other than that, he's a big, blank, bland slate.    Was it just me, or does he wear Frankenstein shoes all the time?

 

Oh, if I needed more reasons to love drunk Tara,  one of the most important things to her per her bio is whiskey, one of her biggest dating fears is having bad gas and her date "finding her out", and her listed occupation is "Sport fishing enthusiast".    Good stuff, lady.   She's also a fellow Ft Lauderdaiian.   

 

Pomegranate Ashley and drunk Tara (who did the limo exit in shorts, prior to switching to a black dress and getting drunk) both got roses.

[Miss Kubelik]

"I want to ride a horse through a field of sunflowers." Hahahaha. It's on her bucket list. She just thought that was worth sharing. Thanks.

Was the onion that turned out to be a pomegranate actually a pomegranate? My oldest child thought it looked more like a member of the citrus family. I loved production just going with the crazy. Sure, go pick it.

 

Thanks for reminding me of that sunflower line. Too funny! It probably sounded so profound in her head, too. Line of the night, for me, second only to Ashley's onion/pomegranate conundrum. That girl is a treasure.

 

Chris is homely, IMO.    I was idly wondering if he's Greek based on his last name, but other than that, he's a big, blank, bland slate.    Was it just me, or does he wear Frankenstein shoes all the time?

 

 

It's a French surname, roughly equivalent to Shoemaker according to the Ancestry.com's surname database (My computer search history is all surname origins and celebrity heights.) I think Chris is one of the best-looking bachelors to come down the pike in awhile, and noticed him pretty much immediately during Andi's first cocktail party. He reminds me sort of a poor man's Robert Mitchum. Not in Mitchum's league by any stretch, but even a single-A Mitchum is pretty damn good in my book. Anyway, to each his or her own. :)

Edited January 8, 2015 by Miss Kubelik

[shok]

 

Was the onion that turned out to be a pomegranate actually a pomegranate?

 

Don't know but what had me agog was that she thought onions grew on trees.

[Wings]

http://abc.go.com/shows/the-bachelor/cast

 

Here are pictures of everyone to help put names to faces. 

 

Mackenzie needs a good haircut and some lessons in styling.  I remember seeing the back view as she disappeared into the house.  It was terrible.  The front view wasn't good either.  Many would love to have those curls and she is doing nothing with them.  Maybe we will see it improve if a stylist steps in to help.  

[NikSac]

Don't know but what had me agog was that she thought onions grew on trees.

 

That had me laughing hysterically! I will admit I don't know where pomegranates grow, but I know darn well that onions don't grow on trees. I would think anyone who has cooked, pretty much ever, would know that.

[JenE4]

What about the girl who rode in on a motorcycle? Was that a Harley? That could have been the product-placed one. However, it would be odd to take his own OR a product-placed Harley from Iowa to California...unless they had some poor production assistant make the trip. Maybe this is how that Putz guy has to earn his keep after sleeping with a contestant and breaking his legs jumping off the balcony on Bachelor in Paradise. Or, like, I suppose that they could use a trailer, but it just seems like it's more hassle than it's worth, so they could have asked for a loaner for CA.

[Zahdii]

I remember that guy.  Whatever happened to him?  I'm not sure if he'd be fired since the woman in question had already been banished, or whatever they call it.

[alexa]

Which makes me ask: Has anyone seen anything about past dates/sweethearts/fiancées? This guy couldn't have gone to a major HUGE university like Iowa and not had a single hookup or girlfriend. Those universities are FULL of beautiful women, and Ames has a quite nice vet college besides the ag courses. TONS of available women in both colleges who wouldn't mind settling down in rural Iowa. What's up with Chris's past? Anyone know? I mean, besides the drunk arrests that is.

 

I don't know about his past, but I know plenty of people that go to college and don't meet their husband/wife there.  Some people do, sure, but many people might meet their spouse later on when they start working, and at that point in Chris' life he wasn't around as many women.  As for dating in college, not everyone has a lot of dating stories that are interesting enough to talk about later.  I guess I am saying I don't find anything odd about there not being any girls from his college past making big stories.  

[alexa]

Whitney's voice didn't bother me either.  I noticed in the previews she looks a bit different with her hair down.... a bit younger.  I think perhaps part of her look being off for me was that the way she did her hair didn't suit her.

[JudyObscure]

Looking at the still photos in Wings's link reminded me of how much I like Alissa the flight attendant, I think she has a natural humor and cuteness.  Jillian is standing at that same angle she maintained through the interminable RC.  She must really think that pose accentuates the positive.  While I think Britt is very pretty, I can't agree with the, "most beautiful Bachelorette ever," title some are giving her.  I think her face is a little too round for that.  To my eyes, Nikki, Jade, Samantha, Tandra and Tracy are all more classically beautiful. 

 

Watching Britt's "movie," ( eight minute version of "The Collector,") made me think she's going to string Chris along until the end and then do a dramatic, sobbing  version of, "I'm so, so sorry, I love you, but it's not a forever kind of love."

[Wings]

Sharleen is the most beautiful bachette, in my book. 

 

LOL@ Jillian.  Yep, the same pose. 

 

I feel certain Britt is there for a career boost.  That is fine with me.  I am looking forward to see who she is.

[MsPH]

Britt has a nice smile, but she kind of reminds me of a Bratz doll. Big round head and a narrow body. Definitely not the most beautiful girl on this show ever or even this season.

[BC Mama]

My early favourites are widowed Kelsey and Jade. Both seemed sweet and were wearing more natural make-up looks (although Jade's dress was not to my liking). I was not a fan of Kale-mama, but liked that she didn't feel the need to straighten her hair - and, as a short haired girl I liked that Kelsey didnt go for extensions. I thought Caitlin was hilarious and appreciated that she wasn't playing the part of a sweet demure wannabe wife if that isn't her... And yay, a Canadian!

[StatisticalOutlier]

I think Chris is one of the best-looking bachelors to come down the pike in awhile, and noticed him pretty much immediately during Andi's first cocktail party. He reminds me sort of a poor man's Robert Mitchum. Not in Mitchum's league by any stretch, but even a single-A Mitchum is pretty damn good in my book. Anyway, to each his or her own. :)

 

So true.  I don't find anything appealing about either Chris or Robert Mitchum.  Maybe it's the hooded eyes.  But I also don't find anything particularly appealing about Britt, and wonder if there's a correlation--if people who find Britt attractive also find Chris attractive, and vice versa.  Might be an interesting insight into perceptions of male and female beauty.

 

Britt has a nice smile, but she kind of reminds me of a Bratz doll. Big round head and a narrow body. Definitely not the most beautiful girl on this show ever or even this season.

 

Her photo

http://okhereisthesituation.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/britt-250x356.jpg?cca249

 

reminded me of the Ralph Lauren photoshop disaster

http://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--njmdaI6P--/c_fit,fl_progressive,q_80,w_320/18jhu02pr5iw0jpg.jpg

[saber5055]

 

I think everyone should wear name tags, period. It'd be weird at first, but really useful once everyone gets used to it.

That was a Seinfeld episode! I remember because I think it's a good idea, too.

[Rhondinella]

It's like a congested Kardashian with a little Dugger thrown in the mix. Make it stop.

 

 

That's it exactly!!

[Wings]

So true.  I don't find anything appealing about either Chris or Robert Mitchum.  Maybe it's the hooded eyes.  But I also don't find anything particularly appealing about Britt, and wonder if there's a correlation--if people who find Britt attractive also find Chris attractive, and vice versa.  Might be an interesting insight into perceptions of male and female beauty.

 

 

 

 

 

For your thesis. ;>)

 

I don't find Chris attractive but I think Britt is pretty.   Robert Mitchum was a handsome guy.  

[Lamb18]

I thought there was a fair number of Andi look-a-likes, too.  Including one who even had grumpy face! 

I noticed the grumpy cat face one, too! I think she was the wrestler or the news girl.

[Mu Shu]

One of them, the wrestler I think, had a blood red eye during the rose ceremony.   Maybe she drank a little and walked into one of those onions growing on trees. 

 

I totally missed the "plus sized girl".   No one really stood out, so who was she?

 

Like someone else mentioned,  Britt has the Tiffany Theissen/Jenna Dewan thing going on.   More cute and sexy than beautiful.    I think Pomegranate Ashley is quite gorgeous, and can't wait to see more of her hilarious ass.   Also, nice dress, and it seemed like she didn't have a pound of extra hair glued in.   

 

Flight attendant girl reminds me of one of those real Persian rich Princesses of wherever.    Cute girl. 

 

Canadian Jillian is my pick for most gorgeous ever.  OK, I lie, but that nose job did her a world of good.     There are quite a number of very attractive women this season, and they would be more so without all the obsessive grooming and hair farming. 

[StatisticalOutlier]

For your thesis. ;>)

 

I don't find Chris attractive but I think Britt is pretty.   Robert Mitchum was a handsome guy.  

 

Well, at least I won't have to bother preparing that grant application.

[JudyObscure]

I totally missed the "plus sized girl". No one really stood out, so who was she?

She's blonde and her name is Bo. There was no mistaking her plus-sizedness in that group, but she didn't get much screen time. Here in farm country Ohio, where my nurse friend says 300lbs is the average breeding weight, she would be considered one the prettiest girls.

Now, because I love science: I find Chris the worst looking Bachelor so far and I'm not too impressed with Britt either so maybe there is a perception connection. Chris has an unusually big head, as does Britt. That might just be something I don't like. I have always heard that a big head in show business is a definite plus and that it explains why some people really stand out from the crowd -- see Vanna White, Elizabeth Taylor, Oprah, etc.

[Bobcatkitten]

I saw a headline that Andi and Josh broke up. Man I guess they waited specifically so they could lie and say everything was good on tv?

[Wings]

Well, at least I won't have to bother preparing that grant application.

 

 

Ha ha ha ha ha ha!

[truthaboutluv]

I saw a headline that Andi and Josh broke up. Man I guess they waited specifically so they could lie and say everything was good on tv?

 

It's true. Posting a link in the media thread...

[saber5055]

 

I saw a headline that Andi and Josh broke up. Man I guess they waited specifically so they could lie and say everything was good on tv?

Wow, they could have waited a couple of weeks instead of making it obvious they (read: Andi) wanted to be showcased on the Red Carpet.

 

Big heads: Yes, I've noticed lots of actors/actresses have gigantic heads. It must be because when they diet down to a size zero, their skull can't shrink any more. One who really has Big Head bad is Katie Segal. I can't stop staring.

 

Someone else commented on Chris's suit. It looked SO TIGHT, but he was shown getting his wardrobe so you'd think a Hollywood tailor ("sticking pins in his ass") would have made him look more comfortable. Or are "skinny suits" in now? Then his collar sticking out with the tie underneath ... all so uncomfortable.

 

I liked the onion woman too. Which one was the "I've never heard of alfalfa" person?

Edited January 8, 2015 by saber5055

[Mu Shu]

She's blonde and her name is Bo. There was no mistaking her plus-sizedness in that group, but she didn't get much screen time. Here in farm country Ohio, where my nurse friend says 300lbs is the average breeding weight, she would be considered one the prettiest girls.

Now, because I love science: I find Chris the worst looking Bachelor so far and I'm not too impressed with Britt either so maybe there is a perception connection. Chris has an unusually big head, as does Britt. That might just be something I don't like. I have always heard that a big head in show business is a definite plus and that it explains why some people really stand out from the crowd -- see Vanna White, Elizabeth Taylor, Oprah, etc.

Even as Bob Guiney lives and breathes, you still find Chris the worst looking?   Man, that's harsh.

 

Speaking of Bob,  you know that you have absolutely no life to speak of when you're googling his sorry ass.   Not only does he have a very dated website,   I found that one could book him for something.    As bored and pathetic as I am,  I didn't bother to find out.   Karaoke?   Beard for hire?   Jesus, I wouldn't let that guy be my latex salesman.

 

Did I hear Tara order Jameson?  Like someone's hard ass old Irish Grandpa?   No wonder he kept her around.   

 

The one who didn't know what alfalfa is the one with the curly/stringy hair who looks like Beavis.   She also asked if his thousands of acres of soybeans are "organic".   Yeah honey,   all organic and gluten free.

Edited January 8, 2015 by Mu Shu

[saber5055]

 

Even as Bob Guiney lives and breathes, you still find Chris the worst looking?   Man, that's harsh.

Or Ben Flapjack. THAT'S even harsher than Guiney.

 

Did I hear Tara order Jameson?

Yes, you did!

 

he one who didn't know what alfalfa is the one with the curly/stringy hair who looks like Beavis.   She also asked if his thousands of acres of soybeans are "organic".

Thanks Mu Shu. I thought Chris's reaction to the organic question was hysterical. He was completely speechless!

[Alapaki]

I saw a headline that Andi and Josh broke up. Man I guess they waited specifically so they could lie and say everything was good on tv?

 

 

I realize this doesn't make me Kreskin, given the track record on this show, but upthread I remarked:

 

Well, my hate of Andi knows no bounds.  So it doesn't take much for me.  But, boy, did that body language say a lot to me.  I think Josh didn't want anything to do with last night (and maybe not with Andi).  And how about Andi's overcompensation by talking about what "we think" or "we feel" about thisorthat?  She's trying to sell that story hard.

 

 

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

As relates to this week's episode.  This just reinforces what a hypocritical famewhore Andi is.  Because she was the one who whined about how Really Real this whole "journey" Really is!  For Realz!  And there she was just two days ago lying through her perma-frown!

 

I wonder if we'll get a 20-minute interview with Chris Harrison putting words in Josh's mouth about how he was never really Andi's real priority?

[Armchair Critic]

Guess we were right about things being weird between Andi and Josh.

[luvgoldens]

I don't know about his past, but I know plenty of people that go to college and don't meet their husband/wife there.  Some people do, sure, but many people might meet their spouse later on when they start working, and at that point in Chris' life he wasn't around as many women.  As for dating in college, not everyone has a lot of dating stories that are interesting enough to talk about later.  I guess I am saying I don't find anything odd about there not being any girls from his college past making big stories.  

 

According to RS, Chris was engaged before but the marriage was called off.

[limecoke]

I find Chris the worst looking Bachelor so far

I don't find Chris attractive at all, he has an odd mouth, but he's not the absolute worst.  For me, that would be a tie between Bob and Flapjack.  Both were equally unattractive and equally sleazy so it's a draw.  

 

Yep, there was some strange body language between Andi and Josh so today's rumor is no surprise.  Don't care, really, as I never thought they'd make it.

Edited January 8, 2015 by limecoke

[JenE4]

For your thesis. ;>)

I don't find Chris attractive but I think Britt is pretty. Robert Mitchum was a handsome guy.

I concur. I do not think Chris is attractive, but I think Britt is gorgeous. I have no idea who Robert Mitchum is, but I shall google and get back to you on that one.

ETA: Make that a negative tally for Mitchum. And throw a million no's in the Bob column, and two million hell no's in the Ben column. Also put me down for a no for Charlie; his looks were fine, but his personality was creepy douchebag.

All the rest of the Bachelors I think were good-looking, yet I can't say that I found them "attractive." Oh! I did actually really like Jason! He was probably my favorite lead. But just for including contestants, Marquel is #1, top of the list, and Ari ranks a distant second. And, almost inexplicably, rounding out the top 3 is Ames. I actually think his head looked like a fetus, but I was attracted to his mind.

Edited January 8, 2015 by JenE4

[Ketzel]

Very disappointed that they're using "Prince Farming".  I predicted before The B'ette was over that Chris was going lose and go on to star in "The Bachelor: Farmer Takes A Wife".  Maybe that was too "corny" (see what I did there? Again?)

It's not that the title was too corny (heh). It's that the (almost exactly the same) title had already been taken. And given that that show lasted a scant two months before getting cancelled, TPTB probably thought the title was jinxed.

[saber5055]

 

According to RS, Chris was engaged before but the marriage was called off.

Thank you luvgoldens. That is EXACTLY what I was asking about! I'm waiting to see how long before the tabs hit up his exes for some juice.

 

Chris H. did say in his interview today that this season is going to stay more "real" and less exotic. Which, to me, translates as all U.S. travel until the end. Maybe those water shots we saw in previews were at the gravel quarry outside Des Moines.

[MsPH]

I think it was said in some press release that Chris and the woman had dated for years and years, but he called off the wedding not long before it was supposed to occur. Or that's what they made it sound like while referring to him as heartbroken about it. I remember it because I thought the woman must've felt way worse and thought he was a bit of a jerk for stringing her along for so long.

[leighdear]

Unless she screwed around on him.  Anything is possible since nobody has fessed up any details.  I'm sure his family knows, but they seem to be a discrete bunch. 

[rissa]

I think it was said in some press release that Chris and the woman had dated for years and years, but he called off the wedding not long before it was supposed to occur. Or that's what they made it sound like while referring to him as heartbroken about it. I remember it because I thought the woman must've felt way worse and thought he was a bit of a jerk for stringing her along for so long.

In Chris' bio on the abc site, it states:

The 33-year-old Midwestern bachelor and self-proclaimed romantic has been engaged once before. Heartbroken, Chris ended that seven-year relationship just months before he expected to walk down the aisle. Although his relationship with his fiancée was good, he didn't want to settle for "good." He wanted "great." While the humble but enormously successful farmer from tiny Arlington, Iowa (pop. 427) has found it difficult to date, that hasn't stopped him from having faith that one day he will find the perfect woman for him. His experience on The Bachelorette made him realize that love really is out there, and he is confident that he will find it this time on The Bachelor.

[Gianthambeast]

So true.  I don't find anything appealing about either Chris or Robert Mitchum.  Maybe it's the hooded eyes.  But I also don't find anything particularly appealing about Britt, and wonder if there's a correlation--if people who find Britt attractive also find Chris attractive, and vice versa.  Might be an interesting insight into perceptions of male and female beauty.

 

 

Her photo

http://okhereisthesituation.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/britt-250x356.jpg?cca249

 

reminded me of the Ralph Lauren photoshop disaster

http://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--njmdaI6P--/c_fit,fl_progressive,q_80,w_320/18jhu02pr5iw0jpg.jpg

 

 

I'm with you on your assessment.  I also don't find Mitchum attractive physically (great actor though!).  Brit is cute but "beautiful" seems like a stretch.  I think the round face throws me off a bit.  She reminds me of a Valerie Bertenelli or Tiffani Amber Thiessen.  Chris is decent looking, but his eyes are kind of beady. 

[Lone Wolf]

It's not that the title was too corny (heh). It's that the (almost exactly the same) title had already been taken. And given that that show lasted a scant two months before getting cancelled, TPTB probably thought the title was jinxed.

That is too funny. Fleiss should have incorporated some of those cheesy elimination contests into this season - as Tina Turner said, "What's love got to do with it?"

[TheFinalRose]

QUOTE

I did get distracted by Andi rubbing Josh's back when Chris talked to them at the beginning.  Then in the audience when they stood up Andi quickly got that arm of her's around Josh's back before she started talking.  Does she have a button on his back that she controls him in public?  It was just very odd.

 

Quoting my own quote from upthread in response to above quote regarding Andi and Josh:

 

Confession: I want them to break up so bad. I can't stand either of them. There, I feel better.

 

 

Well, well, well. Rarely do my dreams and wishes come true so quickly! I wonder how Nick is feeling tonight!  HAHAHA. I wonder if Chris Harrison is mad at Andi for lying through her teeth the other night. I guess we are in for a "Andi and Josh, what went wrong?" segment on the upcoming After the Final Rose show. 

 

As for the debate over Chris' attractiveness. I thought he was attractive in Andi's season, and was all for Farmer Chris for the Bachelor. But then the other night I couldn't see it anymore. And I can't figure out why. I'll have to evaluate him again after episode 2.

[Miss Kubelik]

This Buzzfeed article reminded me of a couple of things.  First, I was disappointed that he ditched the Secret Admirer (was she also googly eyes?) so early on. I thought it was a cute callback to his gimmick, and that it should have earned her another week. And I had no idea that Karaoke Karly (Karlyoke?) was Zak's sister. I have automatic good will for her. I liked Zak and his hometown visit, and remember his family as being good-natured and earnest.

 

So true.  I don't find anything appealing about either Chris or Robert Mitchum.  Maybe it's the hooded eyes.  But I also don't find anything particularly appealing about Britt, and wonder if there's a correlation--if people who find Britt attractive also find Chris attractive, and vice versa.  Might be an interesting insight into perceptions of male and female beauty.

 

Lol I think it mostly is the hooded eyes actually. I have enough incidental evidence for me to believe that I'm somewhere on that facial blindness scale, so it never surprises me when I fail at the celebrity lookalike game. Looking at ABC's websiste, I think Britt's probably in the upper ranks of this year's bachelorettes, but honestly they always look so much alike to me (again, the facial blindness) that it always takes me a few weeks to seperate them (bachelors and bachelorettes). I will never understand, however, when Ashlee Frazier is mentioned as one of the best looking bachelorettes because I'm unable to get past the fact that she is Teresa Giudice's forehead/hairline twin. So distracting.

 

Even as Bob Guiney lives and breathes, you still find Chris the worst looking?   Man, that's harsh.

 

 

Ha! Bob so disgusted me (in personality more than looks, to be fair) that I was put off of the show until Jillian's season, I think. And, uch, Ben Flajnik was so bottom of the barrel in every conceivable way. And, then Jake... honestly there have been more duds than not, so I'm just waiting Prince Farming to rot.

 

Someone else commented on Chris's suit. It looked SO TIGHT, but he was shown getting his wardrobe so you'd think a Hollywood tailor ("sticking pins in his ass") would have made him look more comfortable. Or are "skinny suits" in now? Then his collar sticking out with the tie underneath ... all so uncomfortable.

 

Not being a man, I don't follow men's fashion closely, but I do read TLo's website daily and skinny suits do seem to be on trend with the boystars. Now, it could be both a skinny suit and ill-fitting. You've made me curious and I'll be watching Chris S's wardrobe more closely from now on. I will say with confidence that that I am no fan of the pageant dresses that the women always wear to the cocktail parties.

[Andromeda]

Britt is an actress.  She did a short film.  It is really good. 

 

I KNEW IT!!

 

I saw "waitress" in "Hollywood," and I just knew she was an actress or an aspiring actress. No way would she be cleaning tables otherwise, she's too pretty. What do out of work actors and actresses in Hollywood do in between going on auditions? Wait tables. It's so common it's a cliche. Because of that, I was skeptical of her, from the ridiculously long hug to the overly emotional reaction to Chris. I just don't trust her motives, because obviously she would consider being on the show a huge boost to her career. She'd love to be on that red carpet (which I thought was so silly, despite being an original member of so-called Bachelor Nation.)

 

Thanks for digging this up. Maybe I'm too cynical, or not giving her the benefit of the doubt, but no way can I see Britt ever moving to Iowa to be a farmer's wife. That's true of a lot of them, though. Only a very few could I see finding happiness in small-town Iowa. But we'll see -- I hope they keep discussing it, because while we can assume the women know they'd be expected to move if they accept his proposal, we all know more than half just want to get on TV or hope they might end up the next bachelorette.

 

As I was writing this, my husband gave me his picks of who he thinks should be the top three based on their jobs. very tiny hometowns, and lack of overly processed hairdos: 

 

Jordan, student, Windsor, Colorado

Kara, HS soccer coach/teacher, Brownville, KY

Tracy, 4th grade teacher,Wellington, FL

 

But Kara was eliminated, and the first-impression rose went to the Hollywood actress -- excuse me, waitress -- so there you go.

Edited January 9, 2015 by Andromeda

[Bugs Meany]

As I was writing this, my husband gave me his picks of who he thinks should be the top three based on their jobs. very tiny hometowns, and lack of overly processed hairdos: 

 

Jordan, student, Windsor, Colorado

Kara, HS soccer coach/teacher, Brownville, KY

Tracy, 4th grade teacher,Wellington, FL

 

He wasn't thrown off by Kara being in her early 40s? Her claiming to be 25 on network television MUST be an FCC violation. It must.

[Rainsong]

Watched it later in the week with the blessed help of the DVR which allowed the gratuitous running time to be cut down along with heaps of FF through the filler segments.  Will try to augment rather than repeat the funny and sharp insights from above.

 

The red carpet segment may have been a gentle satire of Hollywood award shows but I doubt it.  Instead, it looks like TPTB are squarely in Self Important Land.  Memo to white sweater girl behind Chris to his right:  calm down and act like you've seen a camera before.

 

I can't be bothered to watch the Bachelorette since a) there's only one female onscreen and b) SNAGs (Sensitive New Age Guys) are either faking it badly or genuine milquetoasts, but Andi has always been annoying with her cynical hard-bitten routine.  We get it - you're a tough lawyer who's watched way too many films and TV series.   I knew nothing about her partner including his name but based strictly on their body language I was unsurprised that they've split immediately after.

 

I hesitate to be critical of Catherine - except that she's with vacant Sean - but surely she knows better than anyone that persons of Pacific Islander descent have a smoother, more rounded body profile due to the genetic vagaries of subcutaneous fat and their beautiful, smooth skin. In other words, her natural tendency is not to be ultra-skinny or 'cut' and frankly I like her in this guise rather than her shrunken marathon-running shape.  You're all woman, Grown Sexy or otherwise!  No need to cover up!

 

We need more 40-watt-bulb Cody onscreen like we need another January polar vortex.  Michelle's act has worn threadbare by now but they keep trotting her out for some reason.  I'd say with relief that this was her last appearance but with another Bachelor In Paradise confirmed I don't trust TPTB for a second.

 

As for the 2015 set:

-Chris is obviously a silver-spooner but that's OK - he wakes up in a town of 400 every day which is smaller than many elementary schools in an average city.  If you can afford - logistically or financially - to personally miss the harvest then you may not be mission-critical in the farm's operation despite your protests.  I'm not big on one-story houses but his looked interesting.  The taste-the-crops-in-the-field shot was as as hackneyed as the hops-falling-through-hands shot from beer commercials.  Besides - it looked like he was chewing on a root!

 

A production assistant needs to slip Chris a thesaurus where he can obtain some synonyms for 'incredible' and 'stunning,' two words which expired from overuse on the night.  With their fleet of cameras might the producers grab a shot of a Bachelor reading a book one of these years?  A magazine?  A Kindle?

 

-It's 63 mi to Cedar Rapids, 74 mi to Dubuque, 182 mi to Des Moines, 165 mi to Madison, WI.  Chicago and even Milwaukee are a fur piece down the road.  This is NOT a suburb posing as a small town via camera angles and editing.  It is REMOTE and isolated and the family business ain't moving anywhere anytime soon.  Considering that so many so-called graduates of our schools can't locate the G8 nations on a map of the world, these ladies had better bone up on their geography because their feelings for Chris will have to overcome some serious culture shock and potential lifelong deprivation of things they now take for granted.  Even a Walmart may be a long trip and Amazon Prime may not be an adequate substitute for traditional shopping forever.

 

-Which brings us to the star of the night and probably the season, Britt or Blitzkrieg Britt as I have dubbed her with her carpet-bombing campaign of eyes, teeth, dimples, hair, hugs and kisses aka The Whole Package.  She lapped most of the field several times in the looks department, appears to have all her own hair, and, as many have said, is billed as a waitress but is one of so many aspiring actresses in LA.  If you appear stick-thin from every conceivable ten-pounds-adding camera angle, then you are thin indeed.  I watched portions of the film someone was clever enough to find and post and thought she gave a good account of herself despite its disturbing content and frankly unbelievable premise (single girls don't open the door to strangers in LA!)...very different from her Bachelor persona, which prompts the obvious question:  how much acting is she doing on The Bachelor? Britt Nilsson - Swedish in name and cheekbones.  Her publicity photos show her with a darker and more relaxed hairdo - it does make her look different and very much like Sharleen (who MUST be brought back in some capacity!).

 

Call it bravery or mastery of the obvious but the producers led with Blitzkrieg Britt and Chris was smitten.

 

-As for the other girls, they are rather anonymous at this point which is why I'm relying on job/town/description.  They invested some serious camera time in Ballet Crazy Eyes who was a red herring.  I thought Tissue Saleswoman might have done something clever with her cooler e.g. reveal beer or champagne inside but instead we got a glimpse of something revolting even if a prop.

 

-Onion/Pomegranate Girl was admittedly fascinating in her irrationality.  She's a needy/jealous type who is already announcing a running score and will eventually bore the Bachelor to death with tales of 'we really haven't gotten to spend enough time together' rather than maximizing her chances.  TV Newser/Weightlifter has that hard face and distorted body profile typical of female muscle freaks.  Hot tip:  when your neck circumference is bigger than the man's, you're doing it wrong.  Hey Cowboy Boots:  you had the nerve to wear your boots and flannel at your entrance - you should have kept them on.  All the sparkly jewels and cocktail dresses tend to become a blur - most red-blooded Bachelors will keep you around just for being unique even if you did get bladdered.  And you wouldn't have to reveal your tacky shoulder tattoo.

 

-Vancouver dance instructor is rather overbearing.  When the Bachelor plays along with your dance steps he's doing it for the benefit of himself and the other girls to show he's a sport.  In other words, you're only aiding the competition.  Not one but two unfortunate arm tattoos and...a nose stud in 2014/15?  That's the tricky part about permanent skin markings and passing fads.  Flight Attendant's staged sequences were as lame as they were predictable and so is she.

 

-21 years old with a toddler?  When you're that young those high school contraception classes should still be fresh in your mind.  Accidents can happen and 'committed' relationships can disintegrate but the Bachelor can be forgiven for suspecting an agenda i.e. finding a provider for your bambino.  And did another girl mention having two children under age 10?  (EDIT:  also a widow, apparently).  When the Bachelor talks about starting a family, he doesn't mean jump-starting one!

 

-Teachers seem to do well in this competition.  Is it because the Bachelor is often stuck at a schoolboy-level immaturity?  This year's teacher is attractive, cuddly etc.  Speaking of educators, Kelsey the Michigan native, Texas-based guidance counselor is a knockout which is why I remember her name.  Naturally slender and elegant and graceful in her movements, I'm tempted to call her the dark horse vis-a-vis Britt but I think she will go far on her own merit.  Loved the hair and when you have that bone structure and eye shape there is no need to trowel on the makeup - which she didn't.  She has that kind of share-a-look-across-a-crowded-room magnetism and while she may love her job she could walk into a modeling photo shoot tomorrow (although she's listed at 5-5).  I haven't peeked at her bio but is it possible she has a multiethnic background?  Her husband's tale is shocking in its rarity and suddenness.  Lots of emotional baggage and who can blame her but how will it affect this process?

 

-The teaser reel was almost shot-for-shot predictable including the Jump Off A Boat Deck. Lots of girls crying (Britt heaving with sobs at one point which fairly screams 'misdirection!') and shots of Chris agonizing although most certainly edited, mismatched and out of sequence with actual events.  Apparently this year's big controversy appears to be the Tent Raid involving a late-night visit to Chris' tent during a campout by one female miscreant thereby fraying the nerves of the other girls.  How can these Bachelors watch previous seasons and not realize that a quick fumble in the dark isn't worth setting the cat amongst the pigeons the next day and beyond?  The girl with the ridiculous spider lashes and the stubby thumbs a la Megan Fox really had the waterworks going although she hardly seems worth the fuss.  Kelsey has a first-aid-required moment, in tears and flat on her back in a dress.  Twisted ankle?  Skinned knee?  Fainting?  She also gets the B*tch Please face going during an apparent argument in the lounge (wearing the same dress as above) and when scolding Chris for something (possibly involving the Tent Raid).  All told I don't think you want to be on the fighting side of Kelsey but, dammit, she is cute when she's angry.

 

Either I've watched too many of these and can see through the editing or the finalists are readily identified by just about anyone.  I suppose I'll stick with it for the amusement factor as Gormless Chris Soules, Gormless Chris Harrison and Gormless Mike Fleiss attempt to maintain the fiction that the girls are on equal footing week to week.

Edited January 9, 2015 by Rainsong

[Bugs Meany]

Regarding the fit of Chris's suit.  Does anyone remember the suit Roberto showed up in for the final rose ceremony?  I'll never understand that.  I'm surprised the seams weren't ripping out all over.

 

Same for Josh last season. I think a lot of contestants (understandably) put on weight during filming, so it could be that. Nicki Sterling from Ben's season (I forgot to include her in my elite Bachelor beauties pantheon) looked quite different when she left as F3.

[saber5055]

I just heard on the news that 30 percent of all farmers/farming people/farm owners are WOMEN and women vastly out number men in ag colleges. So, for Chris to have not found his Princess Farming ... what's WRONG with you, dude?

 

Yes, Chris's TIGHT suit reminded me of Roberto's. At least Chris's wasn't all sweated through like poor Roberto's, but then again, let's wait 'til Chris gets on his knee in some sweltering-hot and humid exotic locale. Unless that's going to be Orlando, since Chris H. said they are not going for the exotic this season. That might be another reason this will be the MOST DRAMATIC season EVAH: The B-ettes all revolt because they are in Geneva, Wisconsin, and not in Geneva, Switzerland. America's heartland is not what they signed up for!

 

I was wondering if Chris got his wardrobe before Cody finished bulking him up. It was fun to see Cody doing the personal-trainer-on-the-farm thing. I wonder how much he got paid for that.

 

Yes, even I admit Chris's farm operation is way remote. I think Waverly is the closest city of consequence. Still an hour each way if his dearly beloved were a teacher or nurse. More likely, a person who can work from home is the ideal wife. That's my situation, and I'm not interested in shopping or city life, but I tell you, it's a big mental relief when I get to even a small-town Dollar General after weeks of going nowhere other than the pasture/barn.

 

As for Chris's house: I'd say that was purchased in a farm takeover, is on one of the tenant farms or built on some property the farm purchased. That it's one level is smart in that kind of winter climate, easier to keep warm in winter, cool in summer. And summers are freaking HOT in Iowa.

Edited January 9, 2015 by saber5055