S19.E01: Week 1

[OnceSane]

From tvguide.com:

Season 19 begins with Iowa farmer and fan favorite Chris Soules meeting 30 bachelorettes vying for his attention and for the first impression rose. At the rose ceremony, eight unlucky ladies are sent home.

From tvdb:

The Bachelor 2015 with Chris Doyle's premieres on January 5th, and now fans can look forward to a jam-packed evening of romance and drama. The network has just revealed that the first night of Season 19 will be a three-hour event and they're even touting that it's live.

[Armchair Critic]

The Live episode is starting. All the former Bachelor contestants who would show up for an opening of an envelope are there like Sean & Catherine. I see Chris ("grown ass man") Bukowski is there, I know he is a douche but he makes me laugh and love the drama he brings.

 

Kody is Chris's trainer.

 

LOL at Chris's sexy posing on the motorcycle...

Edited January 6, 2015 by Armchair Critic

[bosawks]

Were his eyes always this beady?

And, holy hell, Prince Farming?!?!?!?

This is why I can't quit you!

[Armchair Critic]

Marcus & Lacey are planning their wedding. Neither seem to be intellectuals, but they seem nice enough.

 

Wonder what Nikki will say about Juan Pablo?

 

Oh Britt the first girl shown is beautiful.

[VanSensei]

Marcus & Lacey are planning their wedding. Neither seem to be intellectuals, but they seem nice enough.

 

Wonder what Nikki will say about Juan Pablo?

 

Oh Britt the first girl shown is beautiful.

Remember the 80/40.

 

And holy shit, Whitney's voice. Six weeks of that? Aah.

Edited January 6, 2015 by VanSensei

[Armchair Critic]

At least Andi's man (Josh, I almost forgot his name already) isn't as shiny and orange anymore.

 

LOL, Chris Harrison asked Andi about Chris and said she didn't want to go there...

Edited January 6, 2015 by Armchair Critic

[awaken]

Ugh, not one minute goes by before Chris (Harrison) (Oh geez this is going to be confusing with two Chris's!) mentions "a virgin in the fantasy suite", someone with an "X-rated past", and two widows looking for a second chance at love.  Huge sigh.  How many single mothers will we have, who are heartbroken at being forced to leave their children for the show?  

 

And, I love how they show Chris singlehandedly working the farm and hanging out in town all alone, and then being the sole younger person sitting around talking corn prices with the guys.  

 

And I HATE when people bug others (i.e. Sean and Catherine) publicly about having babies.  They should have said "whenever we damn well please, and it's none of your business".  Although realistically I know it's part of their contract to patiently stand there and give pat answers about babies being on their radar and talk about their "practicing".  

[FlyingEgret]

I think Jillian could harvest the whole field by herself - without a tractor.  Cody better get back to work with Farmer Chris...

[VanSensei]

Awaken: At least there's some recent success with these couples. This show is kind of like American Idol in that absolutely no one fulfills the purpose of the show. Hardly anyone finds love on The Bachelor and maybe three or four people win American Idol and actually become "superstars".

[awaken]

KALE!!!   ha ha ha ha.  I love it.  Kale Chips for short.

[KR Vermont]

Red carpet live event, good grief...fun to see a boatload of past contestants milling around. Erica Rose in a tiara, I would expect no less. Even Neil Lane is hanging out taking selfies.

I didn't realize Arlington is even smaller than my town, and though it seems he's sincere about finding a wife I'm having a hard time believing many of these women who have good careers in big cities would honestly want to uproot to farm land Iowa. I'm guessing they don't think they'd actually make it to F1 so they're just along for a good time and free stuff. And a slice of the Bachelor family pie.

[VanSensei]

KALE!!!   ha ha ha ha.  I love it.  Kale Chips for short.

Does she live at an organic supermarket? People gotta stop naming their kids after objects and whatever they're eating. The next kid's name might as well be a bunch of emojis.

[Armchair Critic]

Nikki was just "standing by her man". I always thought she was a stinker so they deserved each other. Geesh, she got way too much air time.

[reggiejax]

Maybe they don't need a one hour red carpet pre-show if they are going to spend so much time interviewing Nikki, of all people. She seems like a nice enough girl, but good lord does she have nothing to say.

 

And poor little Kale, being named after spinach's stinky cousin. But he can take comfort in being probably the cutest kid I have ever seen on this show.

Edited January 6, 2015 by reggiejax

[Armchair Critic]

Did somebody just say "his smile is a panty dropper?".

[FlyingEgret]

Bad time to start the Whole30 diet - no wine to go with all the whining

[KR Vermont]

I got a chuckle over how crisp and clean Chris's motorcycle outfit was--the boots and leather jacket hardly looked worn and his jeans seemed pressed. Nothing had a speck of dirt or dust on them, despite riding along Iowa dirt roads.

[VanSensei]

If that girl in the jeans also likes hockey, then she could pass for half the girls here in Minnesota. I'm dead serious. There's a lot of her type here.

 

EDIT: Oh, Canada. And not in a good way.

Edited January 6, 2015 by VanSensei

[Armchair Critic]

AWKWARD pause after "you can plow the f*ck out of my field any day".

[VanSensei]

Kaitlyn makes me very happy this show isn't shown live. The FCC would have a field day over her.

[Rhondinella]

Wow, baby voice AND vocal fry?  RS wasn't lying about Whitney's voice. 

[truthaboutluv]

So just browsed through this thread and I guess that explains it - I missed the first hour because well, Gotham takes precedence. And I figured I'd check in after to see the cocktail party in full swing and the final roses getting ready to be handed out.

 

Instead I tune in and there's Chris just getting ready for the damn night. Who the hell thought making this 3 hours was a good idea? I know some complained about Andi's season premiere being only an hour and a half and there not even being enough time to show background on some of the guys.

 

But my goodness, 3 hours is just ridiculous, especially when the time is filled with bullshit like I read above - gosh who cares about these past people. Just go on their social media and I'm sure anyone who cares can know everything going on in their lame lives. That being said, I've made it through thirty minutes and glad to see my prediction is confirmed - Chris is boring as hell and if the boring wasn't bad enough, dude is also awkward as hell.

 

The embarrassing trainwrecky attempts to "stand out" are hilarious though. And what is up with that nurse, Tricia or something? She walked out of the limo like she was truly confused about where she was and why and she constantly has this weird wide eyed thing going on. And with that weird 60's half flip, girl looks like a mental patient who escaped some asylum near by.

Edited January 6, 2015 by truthaboutluv

[VanSensei]

Did Whitney take a quick hit off a helium balloon before her introduction?

She's like a taller Kristen Chenoweth without the singing.

[aenea]

That poor girl with the squeaky baby voice.  (Fertility nurse or something?)   I can't imagine waking up to that every day.   

 

I didn't even know that you could sell human tissue. 

[Armchair Critic]

Chris Harrison could have asked Clare a more interesting question instead of wasting so much time on Nikki.

 

The women from Chris's hometown were solid built and a bit matronly, hope that doesn't scare his skinny fiancé away.

Edited January 6, 2015 by Armchair Critic

[VanSensei]

Nicole looks so much like Amy Adams, it's weird. If there ever is need for a biopic, I think we have our lead, hahaha.

 

EDIT: That microphone feedback. Bugger, I think everyone in the house has tinnitus now.

Edited January 6, 2015 by VanSensei

[lizzie3]

I didn't realize Arlington is even smaller than my town, and though it seems he's sincere about finding a wife I'm having a hard time believing many of these women who have good careers in big cities would honestly want to uproot to farm land Iowa. I'm guessing they don't think they'd actually make it to F1 so they're just along for a good time and free stuff. And a slice of the Bachelor family pie.

 

Exactly.  Don't get me wrong, I watch this show purely for entertainment value, but (so far) Chris seems to be genuine, and I can't see any of these girls living on a farm in Iowa!  Hardly anyone has even mentioned the farming thing.  For someone like Chris, it's realistically a non-negotiable in a life partner.  

 

Clearly I'm over-thinking this.  Good luck to him!

Edited January 6, 2015 by lizzie3

[Armchair Critic]

Kaitlyn makes me very happy this show isn't shown live. The FCC would have a field day over her.

 

She is making some bitchy comments which I usually enjoy, but I hope she gets eliminated.

[aenea]

It certainly is a blindingly white group this year. 

[reggiejax]

If nothing else, this is the best looking batch of contestants since Jake's season. Britt is instantly on the short list for most beautiful woman to ever appear on this show. Any season where an Amy Adams look alike (Nicole) ranks in the middle of the pack, is a season loaded with the pretty. 

[VanSensei]

Aenea: It's always going to be on The Bachelor. The most diverse they'll ever get from WASP is either black or Jewish.

Edited January 6, 2015 by VanSensei

[truthaboutluv]

Good to hear about Desiree and Chris being married in a couple of weeks.  I like them both and I wish their wedding was being televised.

 

 

I will never understand Sean and that boring woman he married apparently being interesting enough to ABC to warrant a free wedding but not Chris and Desiree. Sure they aren't the most exciting but the ratings for her season were decent plus there was the whole "shocking" finale and unlike when they say that every season, it really was a shocking finale. 

 

Back to this trainwreck - something about Chris' suit (totally blanked on his name for a second) is really bugging me. And I swear I'm starting to feel the desperation coming off the screen from these women.

[truthaboutluv]

Right so the psycho is Ashley who is a hair stylist...yeah she's nuts.

[msburg]

Nikki was just "standing by her man". I always thought she was a stinker so they deserved each other. Geesh, she got way too much air time.

 

I don't know, I think it was more a "welcome to the family" style interview.  The ATFR with her and Juan Pablo was so antagonistic and off-putting, this felt more like the welcome from Chris H and PTB for Nikki.  I was happy that she did not entirely toe the company line while selling out JP.  I see her making the next Pad-style Bachelor iteration.

 

I thought the body language between Andi and Josh was quite telling.  She spent the entire interview speaking for them, but she was doing the reassuring back rub for him the entire time.  Makes me think there's still something going on here.  Also appreciated that they didn't fall for any peer pressure about wedding dates.

 

And mazel tov to Des and Chris!  Who would've thought that they'd get to the altar?  Who am I to guess either way??  Best wishes to them both.

[VanSensei]

Alissa has the most low-cut dress I think I've ever seen.

[Armchair Critic]

And once again we have a sloppy drunk... well played Bachelor franchise making them wait around with lots of alcohol flowing.

[looksee]

She RIPPED the onion off the branch!

[Armchair Critic]

Britt got the rose, I said above that she struck me as being really pretty. Once again I call shenanigans because somebody young and beautiful like that doesn't need to go on a show to meet men.

Edited January 6, 2015 by Armchair Critic

[KR Vermont]

Strikes me funny that the woman with a son named Kale has never heard of alfalfa.

Tara as a fly fisherwoman would probably have a good shot if she wasn't getting plastered.

Good choice of giving Britt the first impression rose, she actually seems kind and balanced (we'll see how that progresses), but now she'll have that target on her back. Michelle Money throwing shade on Britt, ha!

[truthaboutluv]

Well that was quick. But I have to say I totally called her for the first impression rose and I thought Chris looked like he was ready to jump her during their first conversation so on that level the make-out was actually not that surprising. 

 

And mazel tov to Des and Chris!  Who would've thought that they'd get to the altar?

 

 

I did. I know Desiree was kind of a mess as the Bachelorette and that whole Brooks thing was messy but I've said it before and I still believe it, of all the seasons of this franchise I've watched (and admittedly it hasn't been THAT many but enough in my opinion), Desiree and Chris' proposal scene was one of the most beautiful and genuine. Of the little I saw of them, I totally believed they would be one of the ones with a real chance of lasting.

Edited January 6, 2015 by truthaboutluv

[reggiejax]

Good to see Michelle Money's wit is still as dull and bitchy as ever. 

Edited January 6, 2015 by reggiejax

[leighdear]

Sean & Cat look happy, but she kept holding her clutch bag in front of her stomach, and plucking at that awful cape-thing.  Weird.  Maybe she's already knocked up & they don't want to announce it on Chris' big night. 

 

Really pretty girls, I agree it's the most attractive bunch.  But Whitney really needs to not talk. At all. Ever. 

[Armchair Critic]

Is the drunk girl going to pass out or blow chunks?

[truthaboutluv]

I'm not sure she really knows right now. Best tweet of the night so far, from Nick from Andi's season, that Tara (drunk girl) and Craig (remember him from Andi's season) should get together. Not sure they'd be able to get through a conversation but it'd be entertaining as hell to see them try. 

Edited January 6, 2015 by truthaboutluv

[Armchair Critic]

I give Chris credit for giving her a chance because he admits he likes to get drunk (and doesn't he have a DUI on his record?). I know the other girls are going to be ticked though.

[KR Vermont]

Yes! I hoped he would give Tara a rose, I think she would fit in with him in Iowa better than most of those girls...fishing, drinking, wearing what she was during the first limo exit...

[VanSensei]

And so, Amy Adams was eliminated from The Bachelor. 

[truthaboutluv]

Well he had to give onion girl a rose because who else will bring the crazy this season. 

 

eta: Damn, how long did the first cocktail party/elimination last? Anyone else noticed it looked like it was early dawn when the eliminated women were speaking outside the mansion? No wonder poor drunk Tara was about to fall face down. 

Edited January 6, 2015 by truthaboutluv

[Armchair Critic]

Oh brother, so the cliff hanger is somebody may talk him into keeping her.

[KR Vermont]

That must've been some hella party if the non-rose getters are leaving at sunrise.