Small Talk: The Prayer Closet

[Minivanessa]

As I posted above, I seem to have achieved a state of blissful detachment when it comes to weddings. If only I could maintain that state all the time. Like this morning. I had to stop myself from sending a "F8ck you" email. Sigh.

It's like this. The other day I bought an inexpensive Kindle book on a subject of interest. It featured an internal link to a free download of a workbook, so I went to that link. I had to enter my email address to get the download. Okay. Then, this morning, I got an email from the author, subject line "How Can I Help?" It started off with "Dear [my first name] - I'm SO thrilled to have you here as a part of [name deleted] Movement! I'm [author's first name], and I help women trade overwhelm and fatigue for focus and peace. (You can learn more about my journey to peace, right here!)." And there was more. 

I replied, as civilly as I could before my morning coffee: "Look, I bought your ebook and downloaded the material. I didn't join any movement. I'm unsubscribing. K, thx, bye."

It has occurred to me, that I have to give that author credit for running a serious active marketing plan for her books, which is quite a contrast to the unfocused flailings of a certain pair of LA-based Breakout Stars™ who have a new book out. Heh. 

[Scarlett45]

Somebody went to the groomer today!

[Minivanessa]

@Scarlett45- what a handsome boy! Thanks for sharing the pictures.

[Heathen]

10 hours ago, Ohiopirate02 said:

I went to a wedding where the only "free" drinks were water or punch.  Sodas were part of the cash bar.  This wedding still ranks as the worst wedding I have ever been to.  The bride was 19 and had a set budget.  The buffet was skimpy to begin with, but the real kicker was her bridal party going up for seconds before all of the guests had been served.  I was seated at one of the last tables to go up to the buffet and by the time we got there, it was pitiful.  All of the proteins were gone and what remained was some random sides and sauces.  Everyone else before us loaded up their plates assuming the buffet would be replenished, but that was only happening if someone paid for more food, and that was not in the bride's budget and her parents refused to chip in anything.  

Sounds like my brother and sister-in-law's wedding. I went to get a Coke and was told it was $1. I said, it's a Coke -- not understanding they were charging me for a lukewarm can of pop. I've never been to a wedding where I was charged for an NA drink. They also ran out of (lukewarm, nasty) food even before the relatives had been fed. 

My lying SIL "forgot" to invite the out-of-state sister (me), and when called on it, wrote, "I sent you an invitation but it came back." Uh huh, and I'm the queen of England, you lying liar who lies. 

[Madtown]

We went grocery shopping tonight for the first time without having to wear a mask. I got completely teary eyed. I never thought the day would come. I am forever thankful for the scientists who worked so hard for the vaccines. I know every one has different thoughts on vaccines and that's ok. I'm not hear to debate it. I'm just happy. I also know many are not ready to ditch the mask and that's ok too. I'm just overcome with emotions right now...😊

[Jynnan tonnix]

My wedding was pretty small, and done on a budget. My parents were not ones to throw money away, but we did want something fairly nice. Since I'm an only child, and Mr Jyn is one of 7 siblings, I had a few relatives from England, plus my best friend, who was my maid of honor, and another friend from college. Mr Jyn had his parents, his siblings (one of whom was best man), his grandmothers and his godparents. My parents also invited a few of their friends. I think we had about 35 people for a sit-down dinner reception at a nice restaurant, but there was no music or dancing. A lot more people had shown up at the church for the actual wedding (lots of my dad's Polish Scouting friends) even though they knew the reception was going to be pretty much just family and close friends. 

Mr Jyn's family drove back to New Jersey afterwards, and basically everyone but the British contingent and my two friends went home, but the rest of us went back to my parents' house, where we had a record player and a few albums (most of which were probably Polish folk music, but, hey, you can dance to that!). Dad cleared the dining room furniture to the side, we we had a small dance floor, a few bottles of booze, and some snacks. 

My daughter wanted an even smaller wedding than that...She is one of those who hates being the center of attention. So we had an outdoor lunchtime wedding in my parents' backyard, with about a dozen of her friends, aside from immediate family. Mom and I made a bunch of hors d'oeuvres (quite a selection, so people could pretty much fill up on them), plus we had a small wedding cake, and a selection of wines, liquors, sodas and water.  Guests were free to hang out for the rest of the afternoon if they chose to, which probably about half of them did. I think the whole wedding including the flowers and the dress came in at well under $1,000.

I suppose some people might think they were somewhat pitiful affairs, but we both got the weddings we wanted, and I think that everyone who came ended up having a good time.

[NotthebadVictoria]

We had a dry wedding because my husband was a recovering alcoholic (still my husband, no longer recovering, back on the bottle full stop) and the venue kept a bar open and staffed anyways so there ended up being a “cash bar”.  But, mine was also strictly child free, including no child attendants, so cash bar or not I’ve been told people really loved that more than anything 🤣. 
 The “child” struck a nerve with a lot of our family members trying to say their 10y/o’s were mature so I set an 18+ age limit, let them whine and had a wonderful time with no Children.

Edited May 20, 2021 by NotthebadVictoria

[Suzn]

4 hours ago, Scarlett45 said:

Somebody went to the groomer today!

What a good looking boy!  He looks pleased with himself (deservedly). 😀

[Crochetlady]

I'm glad we eloped too. I was never one to daydream about my wedding either. I grew up with girls who did. Obsessively looking through wedding magazines (yes, magazines. I'm old) and picking their favorite dress. I've never been a dressy girly girl. I hate dresses. 

The weddings I've been to have all been fine, save one. My older stepdaughters. Enough bullshit there to fertilize 40 acres.. 

@Scarlett45 what a handsome pupper you've got there. ❤️

[zoomama]

my first wedding was in a backyard with a few guests. i wore an off the rack dress. our 'reception' was agin in the backyard a week later, waring a homemade dress. 

17 years later i remarried. this time my children and his chose my dress, a real wedding dress and veil. we married and had our reception and dinner in the same room at a golf course. i had only my MOH and he his BM. our children had a part in the wedding. guests sat at their reception table seats.

and one funny part ----  as i had no wedding planner, nobody came to get me when it was time to walk down the 'aisle'. i guess people were wondering if i had reneged! 😆

[RedDelicious]

6 hours ago, Crochetlady said:

(yes, magazines. I'm old)

I love the magazines - I saved my oldest sister's magazines from the very early '90s and they are a HOOT.

There was an article about 365 ways to say I Love You and one of them was to decorate his parking space at work. I'm pretty sure that's a great way to get de-fiancéed and fast 😆

Edited May 20, 2021 by RedDelicious

[RedDelicious]

I'll be right back, I have to plug in the fax.

[Tikichick]

35 minutes ago, RedDelicious said:

I'll be right back, I have to plug in the fax.

Will you still be reachable by pager though? 

[RedDelicious]

21 minutes ago, Tikichick said:

Will you still be reachable by pager though? 

18 😆

[MargeGunderson]

1 hour ago, RedDelicious said:

I love the magazines - I saved my oldest sister's magazines from the very early '90s and they are a HOOT.

There was an article about 365 ways to say I Love You and one of them was to decorate his parking space at work. I'm pretty sure that's a great way to get de-fiancéed and fast 😆

Can you imagine a men’s magazine ever running something like that? Also, the 1950s called (on a land line) and would like their gender roles back.

[Ohiopirate02]

2 minutes ago, MargeGunderson said:

Can you imagine a men’s magazine ever running something like that? Also, the 1950s called (on a land line) and would like their gender roles back.

When we cleaned out my dad's dresser after he passed, we found a book about how to please a woman.  My parents were married back in the 70s, and this book was definitely published then per the illustrations.

[iwantcookies]

1 hour ago, RedDelicious said:

I love the magazines - I saved my oldest sister's magazines from the very early '90s and they are a HOOT.

There was an article about 365 ways to say I Love You and one of them was to decorate his parking space at work. I'm pretty sure that's a great way to get de-fiancéed and fast 😆

OMG Jill Duggar read that magazine for sure 🤣

[Scarlett45]

In the Wedding Thread we were discussing trends, and when I was getting my nails done yesterday I was chatting with my nail tech (I always have the same one) about nail trends. 

 

So lets take it back 2002-2004, WHO ELSE was obsessed with air brush French acrylic nails with a heart on the ring finger? I swear every teen girl I knew during that time was obsessed. We all had it, and I always spent my allowance on my fill in. Like this.

Thinking about it takes me back!

I was chatting with my co-worker who is a few years older than me (so same general trends) and she said she didnt do the heart, but she remembers her devotion to airbrush french. We were joking that we are not youngins any more.

[CherryMalotte]

1 hour ago, RedDelicious said:

There was an article about 365 ways to say I Love You and one of them was to decorate his parking space at work. I'm pretty sure that's a great way to get de-fiancéed and fast 😆

 

Oh yeah the hell with that shit.  Mine is getting texted shortly and will be told to dream up his own dinner tonight, I'm too damn tired.  And I got just the romantic note to leave him this weeked - Paint the freaking front door already!  In BOLD SHARPIE.  Nothing says love like a man finishing his projects so his wife doesn't have live around them.

We got spliced at the town hall - nobody but us, his cousin and wife, and the judge.  Really it was a bargain for $25.00.  Mom always said it costs more to undo it than to do it!

[Suzn]

1 hour ago, RedDelicious said:

I love the magazines - I saved my oldest sister's magazines from the very early '90s and they are a HOOT.

There was an article about 365 ways to say I Love You and one of them was to decorate his parking space at work. I'm pretty sure that's a great way to get de-fiancéed and fast 😆

Yikes!  365 Ways to be a Stalker!  I think most men would chew off a leg to escape that much "love".  

[RedDelicious]

3 minutes ago, MargeGunderson said:

Can you imagine a men’s magazine ever running something like that? Also, the 1950s called (on a land line) and would like their gender roles back.

It's literally SO BAD. Here are some more:

4. Have a bouquet of his favorite flowers delivered to his office.

19. Let him steal the covers every now and then.

22. Hire a musician to serenade him.

50. Fill his car with helium balloons and a great big card that says you care.

60. Send mail to him when he's away on business. Be sure to include a picture of you!

110. Write I love you in soap on the bathroom mirror before he goes in to shave.

145. Keep the checkbook balanced.

146. Let him drive your car with the new CD player for a week.

163. If he has trouble with organizing important papers, buy him colorful folders that he'll enjoy using.

164. If he runs late in the morning, set his alarm clock for a half hour earlier and greet him with fresh squeezed orange juice.

205. Record a romantic message and sneak it into his cassette player.

235. Leave fun messages that flash up on his home computer.

237. Drop by his office when you know he's out to lunch and leave a provocative note that will make him want to rush home later.

267. When he returns from a business trip, get the welcome home banners out and have a private celebration.

290. Every now and then, put your cares and worries aside and enjoy an evening back in time: treat him to a 50s night. Be Donna Reed and pamper him by making dinner, bringing him his slippers, etc. Or meet him at the door after a fight, dressed in 60s garb and holding a sign with a peace symbol and these words: Make Love Not War.

THIS WAS MARCH 1993 PEOPLE.

[Westiepeach]

My dog doesn’t give Husband a Father’s Day card. That is just silly. He buys him a gift! Duh.

[Westiepeach]

2 minutes ago, RedDelicious said:

It's literally SO BAD. Here are some more:

4. Have a bouquet of his favorite flowers delivered to his office.

19. Let him steal the covers every now and then.

22. Hire a musician to serenade him.

50. Fill his car with helium balloons and a great big card that says you care.

60. Send mail to him when he's away on business. Be sure to include a picture of you!

110. Write I love you in soap on the bathroom mirror before he goes in to shave.

145. Keep the checkbook balanced.

146. Let him drive your car with the new CD player for a week.

163. If he has trouble with organizing important papers, buy him colorful folders that he'll enjoy using.

164. If he runs late in the morning, set his alarm clock for a half hour earlier and greet him with fresh squeezed orange juice.

205. Record a romantic message and sneak it into his cassette player.

235. Leave fun messages that flash up on his home computer.

237. Drop by his office when you know he's out to lunch and leave a provocative note that will make him want to rush home later.

267. When he returns from a business trip, get the welcome home banners out and have a private celebration.

290. Every now and then, put your cares and worries aside and enjoy an evening back in time: treat him to a 50s night. Be Donna Reed and pamper him by making dinner, bringing him his slippers, etc. Or meet him at the door after a fight, dressed in 60s garb and holding a sign with a peace symbol and these words: Make Love Not War.

THIS WAS MARCH 1993 PEOPLE.

OFFS! Seriously? I got nothing... 🙄 If I did any one of those things, Husband would have me committed for sure.

[RedDelicious]

[MargeGunderson]

13 minutes ago, Westiepeach said:

OFFS! Seriously? I got nothing... 🙄 If I did any one of those things, Husband would have me committed for sure.

My husband would assume I had been kidnapped by aliens and replaced with a pod person.

[RedDelicious]

Just now, MargeGunderson said:

My husband would assume I had been kidnapped by aliens and replaced with a pod person.

Aw but pod people are super cute!!

[MargeGunderson]

Just now, RedDelicious said:

Aw but pod people are super cute!!

If she brings him muffins at the office, he’s gonna keep her!

[Suzn]

29 minutes ago, RedDelicious said:

It's literally SO BAD. Here are some more:

4. Have a bouquet of his favorite flowers delivered to his office.

19. Let him steal the covers every now and then.

22. Hire a musician to serenade him.

50. Fill his car with helium balloons and a great big card that says you care.

60. Send mail to him when he's away on business. Be sure to include a picture of you!

110. Write I love you in soap on the bathroom mirror before he goes in to shave.

145. Keep the checkbook balanced.

146. Let him drive your car with the new CD player for a week.

163. If he has trouble with organizing important papers, buy him colorful folders that he'll enjoy using.

164. If he runs late in the morning, set his alarm clock for a half hour earlier and greet him with fresh squeezed orange juice.

205. Record a romantic message and sneak it into his cassette player.

235. Leave fun messages that flash up on his home computer.

237. Drop by his office when you know he's out to lunch and leave a provocative note that will make him want to rush home later.

267. When he returns from a business trip, get the welcome home banners out and have a private celebration.

290. Every now and then, put your cares and worries aside and enjoy an evening back in time: treat him to a 50s night. Be Donna Reed and pamper him by making dinner, bringing him his slippers, etc. Or meet him at the door after a fight, dressed in 60s garb and holding a sign with a peace symbol and these words: Make Love Not War.

THIS WAS MARCH 1993 PEOPLE.

OMG!  That would have been too much for 1953!

[mittsigirl]

On 5/18/2021 at 9:50 AM, RedDelicious said:

That IS risky behavior! It's not even Memorial Day!! Same for us here. 😆

Here in Saskatchewan, Canada, we have had 2 days of +32*C, and in 2 more days it will be down to -6*C and snow! From air conditioner to furnace in the same week!

[mittsigirl]

3 hours ago, RedDelicious said:

I love the magazines - I saved my oldest sister's magazines from the very early '90s and they are a HOOT.

There was an article about 365 ways to say I Love You and one of them was to decorate his parking space at work. I'm pretty sure that's a great way to get de-fiancéed and fast 😆

I have old magazines for women from the 1920's to the 1970's, it sure interesting to read the articles and I love the old ads they had back then.

[iwantcookies]

The Duggar’s love welcome home banners! Coincidence?! Lol OMG these are written for a stalker !

[Nysha]

2 hours ago, Ohiopirate02 said:

When we cleaned out my dad's dresser after he passed, we found a book about how to please a woman.  My parents were married back in the 70s, and this book was definitely published then per the illustrations.

In the mid-70s, I babysat for an extremely religious couple who had a book like that hidden behind other books on their shelves in the living room. 12-year-old me got quite an education that night. The next time I babysat the book was gone.

Edited May 20, 2021 by Nysha

[Cinnabon]

2 hours ago, Scarlett45 said:

In the Wedding Thread we were discussing trends, and when I was getting my nails done yesterday I was chatting with my nail tech (I always have the same one) about nail trends. 

 

So lets take it back 2002-2004, WHO ELSE was obsessed with air brush French acrylic nails with a heart on the ring finger? I swear every teen girl I knew during that time was obsessed. We all had it, and I always spent my allowance on my fill in. Like this.

Thinking about it takes me back!

I was chatting with my co-worker who is a few years older than me (so same general trends) and she said she didnt do the heart, but she remembers her devotion to airbrush french. We were joking that we are not youngins any more.

I’m Gen X and manicures weren’t a regular “thing”’for my generation. I’ve only had a few in my lifetime. My mom always did her own. When I do get them, I quickly ruin them with simple daily tasks 😀.

[Guest]

The car with the new CD player is very important.

[mittsigirl]

2 hours ago, deaja said:

The car with the new CD player is very important.

One year my husband made me choose between having an air conditioner or cassette player in a new car we were ordering. I was 22, I picked the cassette player!  

[awaken]

Omg, fill his car with helium balloons!  😂 definitely sounds like a Jill thing!  

[RedDelicious]

1 hour ago, awaken said:

Omg, fill his car with helium balloons!  😂 definitely sounds like a Jill thing!  

and a great big card that says you're crazy 😝 

Seriously. If anyone did that to me, I’d be pissed. You’d have to pop all the balloons just to get out of the parking lot. I would also be annoyed by having to clean soap off the bathroom mirror. 

I was 18 in 1993 and a freshman in college. I guess I didn’t realize that it was still common for women to stop working after the wedding, because that is mostly how the article was worded. I thought that went out in the 80s.

Thank god the rest of the magazine is full of outrageous 90s fashion! Lort.

[andromeda331]

On 5/19/2021 at 6:13 PM, Scarlett45 said:

Somebody went to the groomer today!

Ah, so cute!

15 hours ago, RedDelicious said:

I love the magazines - I saved my oldest sister's magazines from the very early '90s and they are a HOOT.

There was an article about 365 ways to say I Love You and one of them was to decorate his parking space at work. I'm pretty sure that's a great way to get de-fiancéed and fast 😆

Who would want that?

[Guest]

9 hours ago, mittsigirl said:

One year my husband made me choose between having an air conditioner or cassette player in a new car we were ordering. I was 22, I picked the cassette player!  

I remember thinking my mom’s car was so fancy when she got one that had power windows instead of crank windows.

[Scarlett45]

Quote

I wore glasses similar to Claire's in the late 1980s, when I was 11 years old. 

Quoting @madpsych78 from the Justin & Claire thread.

 

You know how they say people tend to hold onto the style and fashion from the time in their life when they were the happiest? My Mom holds onto the 80s like it was NO TOMORROW. She does modernize it, but those 80s styles are so "her", the prints, the shoulder pads, the masculine suit jackets for women, and lets not FORGET the oversized glasses which she is so glad are back in style, with the bold colors, along with aviator sunglasses.

It's cute. I cannot tell what style I will hold onto yet.

[MargeGunderson]

2 hours ago, Scarlett45 said:

Quoting @madpsych78 from the Justin & Claire thread.

 

You know how they say people tend to hold onto the style and fashion from the time in their life when they were the happiest? My Mom holds onto the 80s like it was NO TOMORROW. She does modernize it, but those 80s styles are so "her", the prints, the shoulder pads, the masculine suit jackets for women, and lets not FORGET the oversized glasses which she is so glad are back in style, with the bold colors, along with aviator sunglasses.

It's cute. I cannot tell what style I will hold onto yet.

I worry that I will be that person, but not in a cute way. Skinny pants are out in favor of wide legs, which make me look like a fire hydrant (and I’m 5’7). Also, apparently the hair side part is so last year. I look terrible with a center part, because I have a giant head and the size is accentuated by a center part. I did spend the pandemic growing out my eyebrows (the 90s were not kind to them), so at least I’m current with that trend.

[Scarlett45]

1 minute ago, MargeGunderson said:

I worry that I will be that person, but not in a cute way. Skinny pants are out in favor of wide legs, which make me look like a fire hydrant (and I’m 5’7). Also, apparently the hair side part is so last year. I look terrible with a center part, because I have a giant head and the size is accentuated by a center part. I did spend the pandemic growing out my eyebrows (the 90s were not kind to them), so at least I’m current with that trend.

I am sure you are lovely.

 I like to be trendy sometimes, but I have the same body shape I always have had, and some styles and eras are more accommodating to that. I LOVE the modern vintage look with the full skirt and nipped waist being a walking fertility statue, and PETTICOATS. OMG I do love a petticoat under my vintage sundresses, you swish, and it hides all the business. 

I got an ad for DSW in my email box, and I thought "the 90s are back" I remember these styles from when I was a little girl! Specifically the chunky block heel sandals Cher wore in Clueless.

[Rabbittron]

18 hours ago, mittsigirl said:

Here in Saskatchewan, Canada, we have had 2 days of +32*C, and in 2 more days it will be down to -6*C and snow! From air conditioner to furnace in the same week!

Here in Colorado we have the same weather but it is in the same day.  If you don't like the weather wait 15 minutes and then it will change. 

[Crochetlady]

If I did any of those things, my husband would file for divorce. 

[awaken]

16 hours ago, deaja said:

I remember thinking my mom’s car was so fancy when she got one that had power windows instead of crank windows.

So true!  When we got a car CD player when we were first married it was a big deal!  It resided in the trunk of the car and we had to load it with several CDs. It rarely worked because going over bumps would throw it off. It was a fancy upgrade from the dealership. 

[GeeGolly]

Cars and music. The automobile industry really didn't miss a beat keeping up. From dial radios to satellite radios. From 8-tracks to cassettes, to CDs to MP3 adapters, to syncing up a phone. Kinda crazy, but I appreciate it, as I need to listen to music when I drive.

[CalicoKitty]

My parents always tried to buy a car WITHOUT a radio because they never listened to music--even in the house.  They liked music, and liked to dance, but liked quiet in the house and car.  The car dealer would explain that he couldn't order a new car without one, but it was aways just the basic radio.   My dad made sure the delivery car for his business did not have a radio, however.  He didn't want the high school kids who he hired to make deliveries to be driving around with loud music, so he had the radio removed.  I, on the other hand, am very thankful for XM radio in my car and my house.

When I was a kid and was with my aunts and uncles, we never played the radio in the car.  My aunt's car radio was always broken.  So we all sang.  A lot.  For miles.  And those car rides are some of my happiest memories.

[jjane]

Hi Guys, 

I've been away for a long time and I have missed all of you so much. For those of who know, I tried last year to get my abused great-niece away from her abuser, even getting emergency custody. She was so happy to be with us and relied on us to get her to safety. Then we ran up against our state DCFS, which decided their workers were not essential and took them out of the office and sent them home, where only some of them worked at any one time. Not their fault, of course, but not fair to them or to the children who needed them. Despite 12 complaints against the mother, including one from an outside therapist who was horrified at what she heard, the judge literally said he would not interfere with the mother's parenting. WIthin 2 hours of getting the child back she had forced the child's arm behind her back, hurting her badly, the mother was allowed to lie and press assault charges against the child. Then, they ran. Before they left, the mother destroyed the home she had lived in rent free for 7 years and then destroyed everything outside, inlcuding a truck that needed work but could have been fixed. Bullets through the radiator, all the doors, glass, sugar in the gas tank.

Anyway, its been a year today since we had to give her back and I'm not doing well. I don't even know if she is alive, in a mental facility, which was her mother's favorite punishment and/or place to stash her when she had plans with the revolving door of men she fed off of. Possibly she is in jail. Don't really know why I'm here except that all of you gave me such support during this terrible time and I feel so guilty about my promise to her. I'm also sorry I have not been here to offer support to those of you who helped me. So, much love, internet hugs, and thanks for being there.

Janet

Edited May 22, 2021 by jjane

[Mindthinkr]

Janet, please do not beat yourself up. You went up against a system that was working hard against you and for her abusive mother.  You did the very best that you could. Try to remember that. Sending you a virtual hug. 

[GeeGolly]

41 minutes ago, CalicoKitty said:

My parents always tried to buy a car WITHOUT a radio because they never listened to music--even in the house.  They liked music, and liked to dance, but liked quiet in the house and car.  The car dealer would explain that he couldn't order a new car without one, but it was aways just the basic radio.   My dad made sure the delivery car for his business did not have a radio, however.  He didn't want the high school kids who he hired to make deliveries to be driving around with loud music, so he had the radio removed.  I, on the other hand, am very thankful for XM radio in my car and my house.

When I was a kid and was with my aunts and uncles, we never played the radio in the car.  My aunt's car radio was always broken.  So we all sang.  A lot.  For miles.  And those car rides are some of my happiest memories.

When I was little we would visit family a few times a year. We'd lose radio reception for most of the ride and we sang as well. Like you I have very fond memories of those times.