Small Talk: The Prayer Closet

[QuinnInND]

I appreciate everyone's offers of forwarding a letter to my sister. I think that if I do, I'd rather text her on my burner phone or write an email on another account. I can always block her number on a phone or delete the email account. Still not decided one way or the other.  

Love you all. ❤️

Edited March 22, 2021 by QuinnInND

[emma675]

Has anyone ever stained a wooden deck? I had my back deck replaced and the treated lumber has to cure for a few more weeks, but I think I want to stain it after. It's pale wood and my house is a light tan color so I'm thinking a rich walnut color would pop nicely. I just wasn't sure if I could stain it as is or if the wood needs any kind of prep work first.

[Absolom]

I don't know if what I did was right, but it's held up.  After it cures, you wash it with TSP or similar stuff, and then put on two coats of stain.  

[Jeanne222]

2 hours ago, Happyfatchick said:

Holy cow, the fact @Jeanne222 is 81 and active in a group like this is inspiring.  I’m 61 and about 40 times a day I think “oh, I need to know _____.  I’ll Google it”.  By the time I locate the phone and pull up Google, I’ve totally forgotten what I wanted to know.  I have a friend who says “just look on the Google”. SNORT!!!  The Google. I never say anything different either, because I love it. 

Honestly I can hardly believe I'm 81!  Imagine that.  I feel more like maybe 39 or 49 but darn 81 is Methuselah!  Lol

I shared my age because Quinn shared hers.  I gulped and thought I'm over twice her age!  

[Jeanne222]

1 hour ago, emma675 said:

Has anyone ever stained a wooden deck? I had my back deck replaced and the treated lumber has to cure for a few more weeks, but I think I want to stain it after. It's pale wood and my house is a light tan color so I'm thinking a rich walnut color would pop nicely. I just wasn't sure if I could stain it as is or if the wood needs any kind of prep work first.

We had huge wooden decks at our previous home!  What a task they were.  What I call stain is a stain that sinks into the wood.  What the paint companies call stain is to me paint.

I had to hire a painter every three years to stain/paint the decks.

Once that paint/stain is on there's no turning back so my advice would be to be very careful of whatever application you choose.

Good luck.

[Minivanessa]

1 hour ago, Jeanne222 said:

Honestly I can hardly believe I'm 81!  Imagine that.  I feel more like maybe 39 or 49 but darn 81 is Methuselah!  Lol

I shared my age because Quinn shared hers.  I gulped and thought I'm over twice her age!  

I'm 72, and TBH it just feels so STRANGE that I'm that old. I tend to fall back on the motto: "They can make me grow old, but they can't make me grow up."

And if anyone is looking to me to provide any wisdom gained from my long life so far, well, sorry honey but you're sh*t out of luck on that one. 🤣

Edited March 22, 2021 by Jeeves

[iwantcookies]

You are as old as you feel is my motto. 

[Suzn]

I admit only to being old...  I never volunteer a number because I don't want to be defined by my age.  People tend to have preconceptions for specific ages.  Mostly I don't feel any particular age.  My interests, tastes, opinions and activities skew from young to old and I think I've always carried an age range like that.

[Zella]

1 minute ago, Suzn said:

People tend to have preconceptions for specific ages.  

Yes, I agree! I used to work at a job where it seemed to be a company culture to just assume all your personality traits were dictated by what generation you were from. It's the only time I've ever been called a Millennial out in the real world--they just completely dismissed something I said during a meeting "because you're a Millennial," even though what I was saying was in no way related to that--and it really pissed me off that they were too lazy to get to know me or think about what I said, so that was the best they could come up with. So, of course, I opened my big mouth and called them out on it, which got awkward pretty fast. I was kind of the queen of making those meetings awkward. LOL

But that basic attitude is something that still bothers me. I have a lot of friends who are quite a bit older than me--and some a bit younger than me and some my age--and my tastes and interests are not at all defined by my age. 

[Suzn]

11 minutes ago, Zella said:

Yes, I agree! I used to work at a job where it seemed to be a company culture to just assume all your personality traits were dictated by what generation you were from. It's the only time I've ever been called a Millennial out in the real world--they just completely dismissed something I said during a meeting "because you're a Millennial," even though what I was saying was in no way related to that--and it really pissed me off that they were too lazy to get to know me or think about what I said, so that was the best they could come up with. So, of course, I opened my big mouth and called them out on it, which got awkward pretty fast. I was kind of the queen of making those meetings awkward. LOL

But that basic attitude is something that still bothers me. I have a lot of friends who are quite a bit older than me--and some a bit younger than me and some my age--and my tastes and interests are not at all defined by my age. 

Great story and perfect example of people lumping others together based on the year they were born. 😄

[Zella]

27 minutes ago, Suzn said:

Great story and perfect example of people lumping others together based on the year they were born. 😄

They eventually created a rule during meetings that we had to start by everyone saying something nice. It was totally the Zella Rule in reaction to me voicing dissent for things like the Millennial BS. I feel like it just sums up that entire miserable work experience. I took great pleasure in giving my two weeks' notice during the most inconvenient time of year for them. LOLOL 

Edited March 22, 2021 by Zella

[GeeGolly]

11 hours ago, sixlets said:

Save for a cousin-in-law who is a physician, my mom is the only person I know personally that has had both doses.  She had the Moderna and was fine with her first one.  She had the slightest ache in her arm but said it was like she lifted something too heavy.  Her second one was a bit rougher.  Her appointment was for 1100am on a Friday, and by 100am Saturday morning, she had the worst chills she ever had in her life (she just turned 68).  It lasted about 24 hours, and she was good to go.  I'm not too concerned about the first one, but the second one is already scaring me.  I take a prescription med for chronic/intractable pain, and it contains acetaminophen.  It feels like I'm screwing myself before I even try.  Mr. Six has signed up through the Maryland's website, which would give him an appointment at one of the mass sites.  He has the letter from his company, so now we just need to track an appointment down (he qualifies as category 1C because of his job).  We decided it was best for us to get it at different times so we're both not down for the count at the same time.  I'm worried about having an emergency with one of the cats, and one of us needs to be able to function.  My pre-existing conditions don't qualify me for early access, so I'm looking at April 27th at a minimum, per our governor.  

The mountain photos are absolutely stunning!  We live in a townhouse development in the suburbs, so I just have a view of houses out front and more houses out back.  We do have a 4-month-old fence, but that's about as good as it gets.

From what I've read, the no pain reliever thing, is a working theory based on a small study done with babies and their standard inoculations and based on how our bodies react to certain pain relievers.   The study done with the babies showed a small decrease in efficacy of the vaxxes in some of the babies. I'm unsure how they measured this.

The original participants of the covid vaxxes were not instructed to avoid pain relievers. So its likely many of the 30,000 did use them. Advice now is check with your doctor and most are saying if you are on a daily pain reliever, continue taking them as usual.

No vaccines are 100% and I believe one vax, maybe polio or measles is 99% effective, the rest fall well below that, and in some years the flu vax falls below 50%.

So even if taking a pain reliever lowered the efficacy a couple percentage points you'd still be in the 90% range.

*disclaimer, I'm not an MD, just someone who reads too much about covid and covid vaccines.

[Liddy52]

9 hours ago, emma675 said:

Has anyone ever stained a wooden deck? I had my back deck replaced and the treated lumber has to cure for a few more weeks, but I think I want to stain it after. It's pale wood and my house is a light tan color so I'm thinking a rich walnut color would pop nicely. I just wasn't sure if I could stain it as is or if the wood needs any kind of prep work first.

Just ask @Zella to ask The Google about it for you! 😇

[skatelady]

21 hours ago, whydoiwatch said:

Perhaps you could tuck the letter inside an envelope, mail it to a trusted friend in another location and have them mail it so the postmark would be from their area.

I've had to do this before (mail an anonymous letter) and enclosed an addressed & stamped envelope within another envelope addressed to "postmaster" at a random town. 

(Nothing nefarious, it was a "secret admirer" birthday card, sent as a joke. There was also an explanatory note to the postmaster. Worked like a charm!)

[Liddy52]

6 hours ago, Suzn said:

I admit only to being old...  I never volunteer a number because I don't want to be defined by my age.  People tend to have preconceptions for specific ages.  Mostly I don't feel any particular age.  My interests, tastes, opinions and activities skew from young to old and I think I've always carried an age range like that.

I will tell you my age any day, now my weight, not doing it!!!!

[Madtown]

22 minutes ago, Liddy52 said:

I will tell you my age any day, now my weight, not doing it!!!!

Right?!?!?!? Lol! I'll be 52 at the end of April. Weight.....🤮 I am working on it though. I've struggled with it all my life. Lost a ton of weight and gained it back and now losing it again. A lot harder to do now than when I was 32 .lol.

[GeeGolly]

Age is a tough one. I'm really multiple ages - it depends on the situation and environment. I'm as mature as I am immature. But its other folks' opinion on age that irks me. I see it all the time in my work. Ageism is real, even when folks don't know they're doing it.

Weight is a touchy one too. I've always been a skinny mini, and even now folks usually categorize me as skinny, but my weight, same as my age is really nobody's business.

IMO, unless there's an obvious reason to be asked about age and/or weight, the asker is already pre-judging.

[MargeGunderson]

For some reason I just assume everyone on here is about the same age as me (mid 40s). So, sorry to those of you I’ve mentally aged! As for all the folks older than me, I hope I’m as active and cool as all of you in the future!

[Jeanne222]

I've never felt defined by my age.  I think a lot of people are more defined by their posts.  Some seem rigid, some secretive, some very knowledgeable!

Many seem quite open and I love reading and pondering about the poster!

Thank goodness I have seven grandchildren that keep me on my toes.  Starting with one freshman in high school up to one interning in her master's program.

Two are graduating college this year.  One applying to law school and one moving out East to start her career.

They all like to hear stories about the good old days and I love hearing about them maneuvering these new days.

I remember being at a bus stop and a woman coming up to me and my mother saying "the war is over"!  I also remember rationing and coloring lard to make it look like butter!

I'm kind of like Popeye!  I Yam what I Yam!

[QuinnInND]

I've always said I was born 30 years too late. I'm "old fashioned" in some of my thinking and some things I do. I love the fashions of the 40s. I love the fashions of Downton Abbey too. And the manners.  I try and not judge people by age or anything else. I will judge you for your actions however. 

[Jeanne222]

6 minutes ago, QuinnInND said:

I've always said I was born 30 years too late. I'm "old fashioned" in some of my thinking and some things I do. I love the fashions of the 40s. I love the fashions of Downton Abbey too. And the manners.  I try and not judge people by age or anything else. I will judge you for your actions however. 

Yes remembering the Actions speak Louder Than Words saying.

Another one I employ is 'I may not remember what you said but I'll always remember how you made me feel'!

Have a good day everyone!

[Madtown]

Believe me, I don't act 52 at all..lol. My husband and I are much younger at heart. We are responsible adults, but that's a whole different thing..lol

3 hours ago, MargeGunderson said:

For some reason I just assume everyone on here is about the same age as me (mid 40s). So, sorry to those of you I’ve mentally aged! As for all the folks older than me, I hope I’m as active and cool as all of you in the future!

I do too, to a point. We actually hang with some much younger people and we tend to feel more their age than our actual age.

Edited March 22, 2021 by Madtown

[rue721]

Honestly, I feel like I've aged so much in the past year. Who I was in 2019 feels so different to who I am now.

And I can't believe how far away 2016 is now... I feel like we've lived through so many eras in just the last five years, and it's wild. It makes me feel much older than I guess I really am.

[BitterApple]

55 minutes ago, QuinnInND said:

I've always said I was born 30 years too late. I'm "old fashioned" in some of my thinking and some things I do. I love the fashions of the 40s. I love the fashions of Downton Abbey too. And the manners.  I try and not judge people by age or anything else. I will judge you for your actions however. 

I'm the same way! I love all things vintage and historical. I'd love to live in those times (minus the sexism and racism, of course). I always felt like I was born in the wrong era.

[zoomama]

On 3/20/2021 at 4:54 PM, Happyfatchick said:

Glad you had a good trip!!  I’m on the trip of a lifetime - maybe I said this already??  We’re headed to CA by the southern route, coming back through the north.  It’s a nine week trip unless I don’t make it back for my grandsons graduation.  I mean if I’m incapacitated or in jail... in which case I can just keep going indefinitely.  Nine weeks, nine years:  all the same.
we are THIS MINUTE driving over the corner of Ponchartrain into NOLA.  
I totally meant to be talking about the shot.  I felt absolutely NOTHING when I got stuck.  Seriously nada.  I wasn’t sure she’d even done it yet (because you know me: I was deep into a discussion about how she came to be there...).  No pain, nothing.  It was sore last night, like I’d lifted something heavy but I’m fine now.  The Fauci Ouchy.  Hahaha!!  

be sure to wave if you come in to cali on the 10 frw.....you wont be far away from me!

[BetyBee]

Age is a number, not a description of everything you are. I don't know if I've revealed my age here, but yammering about my 90 year old mother has probably been a clue. The last few years I was in the workplace, if I mentioned my mother, I'd get a look that said, "YOU have a mother who is still alive⁉️" I remember the 10 year old me, the 20 year old me and so on. All me, not that different! Maybe slower to anger and having more ability to accept gray areas, but essentially the same. 

The Fourth Turning by Neil Howe and William Strauss was a book I read long ago about history cycles re the generations and what to expect in the future. It helped me to understand my parents' generation better. I believe we are at a turning point now and I believe the GenXers & Millenials will make a good and memorable showing. I'm optimistic about the future, even the one that exists after I don't. 

[Minivanessa]

49 minutes ago, BetyBee said:

Age is a number, not a description of everything you are. I don't know if I've revealed my age here, but yammering about my 90 year old mother has probably been a clue. The last few years I was in the workplace, if I mentioned my mother, I'd get a look that said, "YOU have a mother who is still alive⁉️" I remember the 10 year old me, the 20 year old me and so on. All me, not that different! Maybe slower to anger and having more ability to accept gray areas, but essentially the same. 

The Fourth Turning by Neil Howe and William Strauss was a book I read long ago about history cycles re the generations and what to expect in the future. It helped me to understand my parents' generation better. I believe we are at a turning point now and I believe the GenXers & Millenials will make a good and memorable showing. I'm optimistic about the future, even the one that exists after I don't. 

I love the way you think! 

[BetyBee]

4 minutes ago, Jeeves said:

I love the way you think! 

Thank you, @Jeeves and right back atcha!

[Scarlett45]

I am not ready to take my Godmother off of my "favorites' list for contacts, I was going to make a call today, and there she was with Cosmo as her contact photo.

 

And because I cannot catch a break, my Great Aunt E (86, dementia) is in the hospital, she is being treated for a UTI. She has lost so much weight in the last two months I was shocked, I did get her to drink 3/4ths of a milk shake I brought her yesterday morning, as I had to get back to care for my sister before she woke up. She wouldnt consent to the blood draw, but I talked to her and got her cooperate. Her personality is still intact, in her refusal she was a perfect lady "No, I do not want you to draw my blood.". She looked me in the eyes and said "Please do not let them hurt me." Damn near broke my heart. 

My Mom got on the phone and bitched out my cousin (Aunt E's daughter) and asked what could she be doing that was so important that someone couldn't be with Aunt E for some of the day since she was so afraid (you know, not like a job or something).

Cosmo continues to be precious. Now that the snow has melted and most of the puddles are gone we have been exploring the park. There are a LOT of smells in the park. 

[GeeGolly]

@Scarlett45, my parents are still in my contacts in my phone. My mom has been gone for 11 years and my dad for 7 years.

[Scarlett45]

1 minute ago, GeeGolly said:

@Scarlett45, my parents are still in my contacts in my phone. My mom has been gone for 11 years and my dad for 7 years.

When Mrs B died in 2011 (she was caregiver to my sister and grandfather for many years), I kept her last voicemail in my phone for 3 months and would listen to it, it took me that long to delete her number.

[Suzn]

51 minutes ago, Scarlett45 said:

I am not ready to take my Godmother off of my "favorites' list for contacts, I was going to make a call today, and there she was with Cosmo as her contact photo.

 

And because I cannot catch a break, my Great Aunt E (86, dementia) is in the hospital, she is being treated for a UTI. She has lost so much weight in the last two months I was shocked, I did get her to drink 3/4ths of a milk shake I brought her yesterday morning, as I had to get back to care for my sister before she woke up. She wouldnt consent to the blood draw, but I talked to her and got her cooperate. Her personality is still intact, in her refusal she was a perfect lady "No, I do not want you to draw my blood.". She looked me in the eyes and said "Please do not let them hurt me." Damn near broke my heart. 

My Mom got on the phone and bitched out my cousin (Aunt E's daughter) and asked what could she be doing that was so important that someone couldn't be with Aunt E for some of the day since she was so afraid (you know, not like a job or something).

Cosmo continues to be precious. Now that the snow has melted and most of the puddles are gone we have been exploring the park. There are a LOT of smells in the park. 

You have had such a heavy load.  I'm glad that you have "precious" Cosmo.  I'm sure he is enjoying all the Spring smells.  😊

[Jynnan tonnix]

Speaking of mothers, my mom is staying with us, having another bout of barely being able to get around because of the pain she has in her back and legs. She's 87 years old, and still prefers to live in her own house, though she has some help come by most weekdays, and spends weekends - or, at least, Saturday afternoon through Sunday around lunchtime, here. I think she feels as though her presence is too bothersome, and, to be honest, while I don't mind doing things to help her out, yeah, she does tend to aggravate the heck out of me because she just can't stop giving advice and basically treating me as though I'm eight years old, and have to be reminded to do things. It doesn't help that she has always been one of those people who feel useless and just plain wrong unless they are busy and active, so now that those days are past her, she's just waiting to die. I guess she figures that she has limited time to actually get me to learn to do things on the schedule, and to the standard that she feels is right. And I'm not her. I never was anything like her. That might be unfortunate, because she's probably a much better person than I am, but I'm much more a thinker than a doer, and that just doesn't fly right.

I was feeling really bad earlier, because she was talking to a friend of hers on the phone - this woman is about between us generation-wise...I'd say about 10 years older than me and 15 years younger than mom - and she told my mother how talking to her was just so easy, and so pleasant - that she couldn't be so much herself with any of her other friends, or even her husband, and that losing mom would leave such a big hole in her life. Whereas I can't talk to my mom without second-guessing every word that comes out of my mouth, because I know it's either going to lead to criticism or worry - which will lead to criticism because, again, I have to learn to manage my life like a functional adult. Of course, her friend is another of those people who manages to be busy making everything around her well tended and organized. They really are cut out of the same cloth, and both very caring, extroverted people. Everyone loves them.

Maybe my house is rarely spotless, and my yard generally gets pretty full of weeds once the heat of summer really sets in. Maybe I am overweight, and maybe I don't get inspired to exercise as much as I should. Maybe I tend toward a few more glasses of wine with dinner than I need to have. But I cannot get her to understand that I am fully aware of these things, and that her reminding me of  them every time I turn around is not suddenly going to make me turn around and say, "Oh, gosh, thank you for telling me that. I had no idea. I'll make sure I'll start working on it right away". 

Sorry to be whining about this again. I suppose I should really just be the bigger person and start working on all those things like the functional adult she would like me to be. But the picking and questioning just sets off these surges of anger that I have to swallow. I just feel like throwing things and hurting myself, but, of course, I can't do that. I do realize, at least, that that would not be helpful.

 

[Leeds]

On 2/24/2021 at 4:04 PM, CalicoKitty said:

Every morning I make my bed nice and neat, and then put the blue cat blanket on.  This is what my bed looks like every afternoon--two cat lumps under the covers, not just under their blanket.  They love sleeping in the sheets under the blanket and down comforter.  They spend most of their day there.

There's really something not fair about the fact that cats can spend all day sleeping in the cosiest spot and in addition get treats and snuggles whenever they feel like it.  Does Darwin have something to say about this?

[GeeGolly]

17 minutes ago, Jynnan tonnix said:

Speaking of mothers, my mom is staying with us, having another bout of barely being able to get around because of the pain she has in her back and legs. She's 87 years old, and still prefers to live in her own house, though she has some help come by most weekdays, and spends weekends - or, at least, Saturday afternoon through Sunday around lunchtime, here. I think she feels as though her presence is too bothersome, and, to be honest, while I don't mind doing things to help her out, yeah, she does tend to aggravate the heck out of me because she just can't stop giving advice and basically treating me as though I'm eight years old, and have to be reminded to do things. It doesn't help that she has always been one of those people who feel useless and just plain wrong unless they are busy and active, so now that those days are past her, she's just waiting to die. I guess she figures that she has limited time to actually get me to learn to do things on the schedule, and to the standard that she feels is right. And I'm not her. I never was anything like her. That might be unfortunate, because she's probably a much better person than I am, but I'm much more a thinker than a doer, and that just doesn't fly right.

I was feeling really bad earlier, because she was talking to a friend of hers on the phone - this woman is about between us generation-wise...I'd say about 10 years older than me and 15 years younger than mom - and she told my mother how talking to her was just so easy, and so pleasant - that she couldn't be so much herself with any of her other friends, or even her husband, and that losing mom would leave such a big hole in her life. Whereas I can't talk to my mom without second-guessing every word that comes out of my mouth, because I know it's either going to lead to criticism or worry - which will lead to criticism because, again, I have to learn to manage my life like a functional adult. Of course, her friend is another of those people who manages to be busy making everything around her well tended and organized. They really are cut out of the same cloth, and both very caring, extroverted people. Everyone loves them.

Maybe my house is rarely spotless, and my yard generally gets pretty full of weeds once the heat of summer really sets in. Maybe I am overweight, and maybe I don't get inspired to exercise as much as I should. Maybe I tend toward a few more glasses of wine with dinner than I need to have. But I cannot get her to understand that I am fully aware of these things, and that her reminding me of  them every time I turn around is not suddenly going to make me turn around and say, "Oh, gosh, thank you for telling me that. I had no idea. I'll make sure I'll start working on it right away". 

Sorry to be whining about this again. I suppose I should really just be the bigger person and start working on all those things like the functional adult she would like me to be. But the picking and questioning just sets off these surges of anger that I have to swallow. I just feel like throwing things and hurting myself, but, of course, I can't do that. I do realize, at least, that that would not be helpful.

 

I think maybe your mom needs to hear she has limited time left to love you just as you are. She has limited time left to say out loud all the things she loves about and ways she admires you - because she does.

You are caring, creative, smart, and productive. Your description of yourself has me wondering if you have undiagnosed ADHD. You keep being you and just smile and nod and then dismiss your mom's comments.

[Scarlett45]

1 hour ago, Leeds said:

There's really something not fair about the fact that cats can spend all day sleeping in the cosiest spot and in addition get treats and snuggles whenever they feel like it.  Does Darwin have something to say about this?

If reincarnation is a thing, I want to come back as a well loved rich person's house cat. That is THE LIFE.

[sixlets]

14 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

From what I've read, the no pain reliever thing, is a working theory based on a small study done with babies and their standard inoculations and based on how our bodies react to certain pain relievers.   The study done with the babies showed a small decrease in efficacy of the vaxxes in some of the babies. I'm unsure how they measured this.

The original participants of the covid vaxxes were not instructed to avoid pain relievers. So its likely many of the 30,000 did use them. Advice now is check with your doctor and most are saying if you are on a daily pain reliever, continue taking them as usual.

No vaccines are 100% and I believe one vax, maybe polio or measles is 99% effective, the rest fall well below that, and in some years the flu vax falls below 50%.

So even if taking a pain reliever lowered the efficacy a couple percentage points you'd still be in the 90% range.

*disclaimer, I'm not an MD, just someone who reads too much about covid and covid vaccines.

Thank you for this!  I'm good overnight, but that's about the extent of it as far as not taking it.  If I can get a morning appointment, I can delay it a few hours. I'm 41, but most days, I feel 91.  My motto is never take good health for granted.  It can be taken away in the blink of an eye.

[Minivanessa]

Well, shit. I think I've posted a few times here about an old friend of mine with ongoing health problems. We've been friends for 40+ years and since we're in our 70's that doesn't include childhood. Anyway, she's been on a downhill slide and a couple of months ago her pulmonologist referred her to in-home hospice care. Nevertheless she was absolutely not talking about dying although she was in pitiful shape and NOT taking care of herself.

Early this afternoon my friend's sister called. The hospice CNA went to my friend's condo for one of her regular visits - and found my friend had died. This has not been an afternoon I'd like to repeat. I was able to be with my friend's sister at the condo, while the mortuary men were there, We had a few moments with her body after they got it on the gurney, respectfully covered except for her face, and I think in the long run I won't regret that I had that chance to say goodbye even though it was to an empty body. 

This death wasn't a shock in the "out of the blue" sense, as we were all concerned about her and had tried to help her in many ways. OTOH it was quite a surprise and I'm sure I'm still in some kind of shocked state. She left an UNHOLY mess of a condo behind, and tomorrow sis and I are going to sort through it all and try to locate essential documents. Years ago, my friend informed me that she'd made her will and named me executor. WTF? Was my response. She was sure I'd want to, and it's the last thing on EARTH I'd want to do. So for at least the last dozen years we had this running conversation that she needed to change her will to remove me as executor. And of course - she never did. DAMN. I will of course refuse to serve but I will help her sister sort through things and figure out next steps. 

Life is short and death is real. Tell people you love them if you do. Thanks for being a safe online place for me right now.

[SunnyBeBe]

My mom rarely criticizes me to my face. I know she does behind my back, though. And that’s ok.  We have never seen eye to eye and never will. I’m fine with how I am and unless I turn mean, I’m fine the way I am.  I take issue with a couple of things about my parents and I should be telling them my issues with how they are, not the other way around. Lol. I still have issues with the cult church we were forced to attend when I was a child and another issue that I’m not allowed to discuss on this site. 
 

I laugh at my dad’s  bossing....he has to direct me turning around in the driveway, like I’m a new driver. When I take something to the mailbox, he tells me to put the flag up!  And, he tells me where to turn on roads I’ve driven for 40 years!   He tells me how to fold socks too. After balking for years, I stopped. I now, say yes sir and then do it my way.  It goes better like that.   

Edited March 23, 2021 by SunnyBeBe

[Scarlett45]

8 minutes ago, Jeeves said:

Well, shit. I think I've posted a few times here about an old friend of mine with ongoing health problems. We've been friends for 40+ years and since we're in our 70's that doesn't include childhood. Anyway, she's been on a downhill slide and a couple of months ago her pulmonologist referred her to in-home hospice care. Nevertheless she was absolutely not talking about dying although she was in pitiful shape and NOT taking care of herself.

Early this afternoon my friend's sister called. The hospice CNA went to my friend's condo for one of her regular visits - and found my friend had died. This has not been an afternoon I'd like to repeat. I was able to be with my friend's sister at the condo, while the mortuary men were there, We had a few moments with her body after they got it on the gurney, respectfully covered except for her face, and I think in the long run I won't regret that I had that chance to say goodbye even though it was to an empty body. 

This death wasn't a shock in the "out of the blue" sense, as we were all concerned about her and had tried to help her in many ways. OTOH it was quite a surprise and I'm sure I'm still in some kind of shocked state. She left an UNHOLY mess of a condo behind, and tomorrow sis and I are going to sort through it all and try to locate essential documents. Years ago, my friend informed me that she'd made her will and named me executor. WTF? Was my response. She was sure I'd want to, and it's the last thing on EARTH I'd want to do. So for at least the last dozen years we had this running conversation that she needed to change her will to remove me as executor. And of course - she never did. DAMN. I will of course refuse to serve but I will help her sister sort through things and figure out next steps. 

Life is short and death is real. Tell people you love them if you do. Thanks for being a safe online place for me right now.

I am so sorry @Jeeves. Losing a friend is awful. I am glad you got to say goodbye. 

[GeeGolly]

9 minutes ago, Jeeves said:

Well, shit. I think I've posted a few times here about an old friend of mine with ongoing health problems. We've been friends for 40+ years and since we're in our 70's that doesn't include childhood. Anyway, she's been on a downhill slide and a couple of months ago her pulmonologist referred her to in-home hospice care. Nevertheless she was absolutely not talking about dying although she was in pitiful shape and NOT taking care of herself.

Early this afternoon my friend's sister called. The hospice CNA went to my friend's condo for one of her regular visits - and found my friend had died. This has not been an afternoon I'd like to repeat. I was able to be with my friend's sister at the condo, while the mortuary men were there, We had a few moments with her body after they got it on the gurney, respectfully covered except for her face, and I think in the long run I won't regret that I had that chance to say goodbye even though it was to an empty body. 

This death wasn't a shock in the "out of the blue" sense, as we were all concerned about her and had tried to help her in many ways. OTOH it was quite a surprise and I'm sure I'm still in some kind of shocked state. She left an UNHOLY mess of a condo behind, and tomorrow sis and I are going to sort through it all and try to locate essential documents. Years ago, my friend informed me that she'd made her will and named me executor. WTF? Was my response. She was sure I'd want to, and it's the last thing on EARTH I'd want to do. So for at least the last dozen years we had this running conversation that she needed to change her will to remove me as executor. And of course - she never did. DAMN. I will of course refuse to serve but I will help her sister sort through things and figure out next steps. 

Life is short and death is real. Tell people you love them if you do. Thanks for being a safe online place for me right now.

Oh Jeeves, what an incredibly sad shock. Please know my thoughts are with you. Wishing for you lightness, comfort and peace.

[iwantcookies]

@Jeeves my condolences . I am sorry. 

[emma675]

Oh, Jeeves, I'm so sorry, what a horrible day. I wish there was some more material way we could help, but know we're here for you online.

[SunnyBeBe]

Oh, Jeeves, I’m sorry to read about the loss of your friend.  I’m glad you were able to say goodbye. 

[jcbrown]

36 minutes ago, Jeeves said:

Life is short and death is real. Tell people you love them if you do. Thanks for being a safe online place for me right now.

I'm so sorry for your loss. What an afternoon.

I mentioned here that my husband and I lost a friend earlier this year and that we had reconnected with him early last year for weekly Zoom chats and D&D games with many of our college friends. We were able to get the edition of the Player's Handbook that was the one we used when we started playing together in about 1980. Now, we are inscribing it with our memories of him and will send it between us for all to sign (we were scattered in five states before his death, now four states), and then send it to his wife and son. His son is also a D&D player so we're hoping they will appreciate it.

[Zella]

Oh, @Jeeves, I am so, so sorry about your friend. 

[QuinnInND]

@Jeeves I'm so sorry about the loss of your friend. 😞 May her memory be a blessing. 

[iwantcookies]

41 minutes ago, jcbrown said:

I'm so sorry for your loss. What an afternoon.

I mentioned here that my husband and I lost a friend earlier this year and that we had reconnected with him early last year for weekly Zoom chats and D&D games with many of our college friends. We were able to get the edition of the Player's Handbook that was the one we used when we started playing together in about 1980. Now, we are inscribing it with our memories of him and will send it between us for all to sign (we were scattered in five states before his death, now four states), and then send it to his wife and son. His son is also a D&D player so we're hoping they will appreciate it.

How very thoughtful of all of you. His family will love it.

[Absolom]

6 hours ago, Scarlett45 said:

Cosmo continues to be precious. Now that the snow has melted and most of the puddles are gone we have been exploring the park. There are a LOT of smells in the park. 

He's such a darling dog!  

[rue721]

@Jeeves I’m sorry about your friend’s death 💜 It sounds like she really trusted you, and I’m glad you were able to be there when she left home for the last time.

@jcbrown The book sounds like a wonderful gift, your friend’s son will treasure it.