Small Talk: The Prayer Closet

[DangerousMinds]

36 minutes ago, iwantcookies said:

I hope the library opens up fully by fall. By then most people who want the vaccine can get it. 
 

I am reading the Bridgerton series. I’m on book 3 and NEED the rest soon. Lol 
 

 

POTUS said yesterday that all who want it will be able to get it by May 1.

[QuinnInND]

1 minute ago, DangerousMinds said:

POTUS said yesterday that all who want it will be able to get it by May 1.

He said everyone would be eligible for it by May 1st. That doesn't mean that will be able to get it due to availability issues. I've got a friend who has been signed up for the vaccine since Jan 5. She's heard nothing yet. Meanwhile, her husband and her two adult children have gotten theirs already. She's 55 (almost 56) has asthma and is immune compromised. She's given up getting it anytime soon.  She says by July 4 she hopes she'll get it. 

[jcbrown]

21 hours ago, kieyra said:

This is the one that works for me, and has a cool graphic showing what’s happening in your ear:

There are others you can do flat on your back, with your head sort of hanging off the edge of a bed, if mobility is an issue for the half somersault.

This is the one that works best for me, as well.

I definitely sign onto the idea of Thin Mints in the freezer.

[Minivanessa]

So here in Denver we've been prepping for a big snowstorm that's supposed to start tonight and romp through the weekend. Predicted amounts of snowfall here in town have varied, but I think the latest forecast says about two feet - three feet had been mentioned earlier this week. Anyway, it's going to be a big one. March is Denver's snowiest month, oddly enough. The thing is that spring snow tends to be wet and heavy, and to be unfriendly to power lines. The power lines in this neighborhood are pretty much undergrounded but there are enough high wires in the grid to mean we're also prepping for power outages. 

I'm all ready to hunker down here in the condo all weekend. Just got back from a run to the store. 

ETA: Just after posting that about 40 minutes ago, I got myself in gear, boxed up some camera gear I'm selling to a dealer, and dropped it off at the nearby FedEx office, in time to make the final FedEx Ground pickup of the week. Whew. I've been going through almost 15 years' worth of camera stuff and offloading a lot of it. I'll probably list a couple of things to sell on eBay over the weekend. I don't like doing big-ticket items on eBay; too much fraud and nonsense going on. I'm usually satisfied with the quotes I get for my old gear from KEH which is a camera dealer in GA. I've bought used stuff from them, and sold used stuff to them, many times over the years. I have always found them to be ethical and straightforward to deal with. And, along with their quote for your used gear, they give you a prepaid FedEx shipping label, so Yay! I shipped them a three-box load of stuff week before last. That was a bunch of old film-era Nikon lenses which I accumulated cheaply and enjoyed playing with a few years ago - but hadn't touched for a long time. When the dust (literally!) finally settles on this project, I will be much less encumbered with extraneous camera gear-  and what's left will probably be newly appreciated and used more, now that the long winter of our pandemic is past. Let's hope!

Edited March 13, 2021 by Jeeves

[Westiepeach]

2 hours ago, QuinnInND said:

He said everyone would be eligible for it by May 1st. That doesn't mean that will be able to get it due to availability issues. I've got a friend who has been signed up for the vaccine since Jan 5. She's heard nothing yet. Meanwhile, her husband and her two adult children have gotten theirs already. She's 55 (almost 56) has asthma and is immune compromised. She's given up getting it anytime soon.  She says by July 4 she hopes she'll get it. 

I registered with my county, and I also registered with every pharmacy in my area. I ended up getting my appointment because my husband’s boss’s daughter was bored waiting for the cable people and went online looking for openings. She found a cancellation at a pharmacy 15 minutes from my house. She called me at 2:30 and I got vaccinated at 4:00.

Edited March 13, 2021 by Westiepeach

[Boston]

5 hours ago, Jynnan tonnix said:

Finally managed to get an appointment for my first Covid shot. There was a place about 1/2 hour away from us which got a bunch of openings earlier. Mr Jyn had not gotten around to finishing his registration process after I sent him the info - he did the first part, but not the whole thing, and by the time he figured it out and finished about 10 minutes later, all the spaces seemed to have been booked. 

Hurray for you!.. Good luck to Mr. Jyn

5 hours ago, Zella said:

Got first dose of the Moderna vaccine about an hour ago. Other than some aches, I'm doing okay. They said they'd call us back for the second dose, but I'm assuming that will be around April 9. 

Yay!!!😍

[QuinnInND]

29 minutes ago, Westiepeach said:

I registered with my county, and I also registered with every pharmacy in my area. I ended up getting my appointment because my husband’s boss’s daughter was bored waiting for the cable people and went online looking for openings. She found a cancellation at a pharmacy 15 minutes from by house. She called me at 2:30 and I got vaccinated at 4:00.

She's registered with her state. No pharmacies in her area have it yet. She's asked. 

[Boston]

3 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

Massachusetts just rolled out a waitlist for vaccines. I linked it below in case it would be helpful to anyone.

https://vaccinesignup.mass.gov/#/

I live in Massachusetts.  I have been getting emails from my (primary Dr.) hospital - Beth Israel.. 2 days ago i got on that said i am not in this next vaccine group. 🤫.. But my brother who has HTCM (hypertrophic cardiomyopathy) has his first shot on March 30th at Beth Israel where his cardiologist is.. he is fine - but you know that is the thing that makes basketball players, et. al.  drop dead on the court, luckily he was diagnosed in his 30s.. his girls got tested because they were so into sports.  I am happy for everyone who has an appointment

[QuinnInND]

So question. If (and that's still a big if) I wanted to answer and text my sister, what would I say? How would I start? 

[iwantcookies]

GS tagalong cookies were pretty tasty. Well that concludes my GS cookies taste test. Definitely overpriced at $5. 
 

But Trader Joe’s cookie butter cookies are way better.  Mmmm or just the cookie butter on a spoon. 

3 minutes ago, QuinnInND said:

So question. If (and that's still a big if) I wanted to answer and text my sister, what would I say? How would I start? 

I would say I don’t want to talk about the past. Just now. If you don’t want to talk about your mom say that as well. Establish boundaries. 
 

Start with small talk and see where it goes. 
 

 

[QuinnInND]

22 minutes ago, iwantcookies said:

 

I would say I don’t want to talk about the past. Just now. If you don’t want to talk about your mom say that as well. Establish boundaries. 
 

Start with small talk and see where it goes. 
 

 

I do want to tell her I've always loved her, and how bad I felt about leaving her, and I've still got the teddy bear. That my leaving had nothing to do with her. She was my last thought as I walked away. So some parts of the past I would be ok discussing. At least as far as I want to go. But yes. Boundaries will be set. I want my mother to know nothing about me. I only want answers from her. The truth.  And if she asks, how much should I tell her about how I survived? What I had to do? Being a call girl, doing the porn etc. Or just be vague? I don't want to lie to her either. 

Edited March 13, 2021 by QuinnInND

[doodlebug]

8 minutes ago, QuinnInND said:

So question. If (and that's still a big if) I wanted to answer and text my sister, what would I say? How would I start? 

I'd do it from a phone that is not your primary phone.  Someone suggested a cheap burner phone and that's the way to go, IMO.  I don't think it is a great idea to give her any way to find you unless she is willing to respect your boundaries.  Then, I agree with Cookies, you need to give her some parameters.  If your mother is off limits for discussion; then she needs to know that and understand that you do not want to have any discussion about her and if you don't want your sister to even tell your mom you were in touch, she has to promise to do that (even knowing she might turn around and tell her anyway).

I think it is not a bad idea to tell your sister how you loved her and still have her bear and how you just didn't have a choice; you had to leave her behind and save yourself.  And, of course, let her know that, though things were tough initially, you've got a terrific job and a beautiful family and life is pretty darned good these days.

[Love2dance]

13 hours ago, Quof said:

Speaking to a friend one day, she mentioned she really wanted a (homemade) cookie but the only ones she had were in the freezer.  "So eat them frozen!" I said.  She had never heard of this.  Now she thanks me for changing her life.  

I like to take frozen chocolate chip cookies out of the freezer and toast them in the toaster oven (on tin foil) just until they get a little more brown and the chocolate chips melt. Yum! 🍪🥛

[Love2dance]

21 hours ago, beckie said:

My vertigo gets so bad I can hardly move. There's no way I'd be able to exercise through it.

I completely agree. I don’t do these exercises when I am in the midst of the spinning vertigo. I have to wait until it subsides somewhat and then I do the bed or couch one. I save the summersault position for when I’m feeling better and want to prevent an attack or when I am having a mild episode. I try to do the bed exercise several times a month as a preventative since my vertigo has returned a few times.

[Love2dance]

4 hours ago, QuinnInND said:

I do want to tell her I've always loved her, and how bad I felt about leaving her, and I've still got the teddy bear. That my leaving had nothing to do with her. She was my last thought as I walked away. So some parts of the past I would be ok discussing. At least as far as I want to go. But yes. Boundaries will be set. I want my mother to know nothing about me. I only want answers from her. The truth.  And if she asks, how much should I tell her about how I survived? What I had to do? Being a call girl, doing the porn etc. Or just be vague? I don't want to lie to her either. 

It seems like you have a very good start on what to tell your sister. And both @doodlebug and @iwantcookies gave you advice I agree with. I think you might want to save the part about how you survived until you have reestablished your relationship, you trust her, and feel comfortable sharing it. I’m glad you are considering contacting your sister. I am hoping it will bring both of you comfort.

[Scarlett45]

Good morning Small Talk Friends. I had a to take a break from the site for a few days. 

 

My god mother passed away on Tuesday a little bit before 2pm, I finished up my work day, and then took a few days to myself to assist my Mom and mentally rest after the exhausting three weeks we had managing her end of life care. When my Mom came home from work that day I took her hand and said "I will be your best friend now little Mommy." (yes I am 35 and call my mom "little mommy"- I am not ashamed). I also did have a therapy session and check in with my friend who is a pastor (I am agnostic but I respect and trust her wisdom)

 

Relatively speaking she didnt suffer long, and I admit I have been trapped in random giggle fits thinking of her using her last strength to tell her husband to get her house cleaned or get out, and she would be at the hotel until both were done. Her youngest daughter was supposed to be in charge of funeral arrangements (which she agreed to do) but I dont think she is up for it mentally and wants the husband's cooperation to close out the estate and sell the house so she is letting HIM do it. NO way will I ever subject my Mother to that man's screaming, tirades and abuse ever again. We will not be attending the funeral- I told my Mom it was up to her, and she said she was very tired and we are still in a pandemic. Funerals are for the living not the dead. 

But get this! The hospital my Godmother was in when she died called MY MOTHER yesterday at approximately 5pm, gave their condolences for the loss and asked about funeral/arrangements for the body. My godmother is still in the fridge!! At that point I just got angry.

My Mom is hurting. She is exhausted, hurt and feels unappreciated. Upon letting their people know many asked about my god mother's dog(it was known how much she loved him), and my Mom assured them that he was safe with me. Monday night my godmother kept asking the resident in her moments of lucidity "How is Cosmo?" so much the resident called my Mom and asked WHO was Cosmo. You ask about the things you love most at the end. When my Great Aunt B was dying (she was our nanny) she asked the nurses about my sister (her one true love). 

 

I am going to give Cosmo the very best life I promise. She left me with the thing that meant the most to her, as well as two quotes, one about me. 

"You are as straight as an arrow and as constant as an evening star." (a star, she thought I was a STAR!)

another about us, to remember when I am feeling discouraged

"We are descended from the women who couldn't jump from the ship, and the witches they did not burn."

She has joined the ancestors now, and in honor of every woman who couldn't jump, and every witch who looked over her shoulder in fear, she lived with grace and fire and made them proud. I will miss her very much.

When this pandemic is over and they let us in I want to go to St Kitt's in honor of her matrilineal heritage (her maternal grandmother was born there). 

[crazycatlady58]

5 minutes ago, Scarlett45 said:

Good morning Small Talk Friends. I had a to take a break from the site for a few days. 

 

My god mother passed away on Tuesday a little bit before 2pm, I finished up my work day, and then took a few days to myself to assist my Mom and mentally rest after the exhausting three weeks we had managing her end of life care. When my Mom came home from work that day I took her hand and said "I will be your best friend now little Mommy." (yes I am 35 and call my mom "little mommy"- I am not ashamed). I also did have a therapy session and check in with my friend who is a pastor (I am agnostic but I respect and her wisdom)

 

Relatively speaking she didnt suffer long, and I admit I have been trapped in random giggle fits thinking of her using her last strength to tell her husband to get her house cleaned or get out, and she would be at the hotel until both were done. Her youngest daughter was supposed to be in charge of funeral arrangements (which she agreed to do) but I dont think she is up for it mentally and wants the husband's cooperation to close out the estate and sell the house so she is letting HIM do it. NO way will I ever subject my Mother to that man's screaming, tirades and abuse ever again. We will not be attending the funeral- I told my Mom it was up to her, and she said she was very tired and we are still in a pandemic. Funerals are for the living not the dead. 

But get this! The hospital my Godmother was in when she died called MY MOTHER yesterday at approximately 5pm, gave their condolences for the loss and asked about funeral/arrangements for the body. My godmother is still in the fridge!! At that point I just got angry.

My Mom is hurting. She is exhausted, hurt and feels unappreciated. Upon letting their people know many asked about my god mother's dog(it was known how much she loved him), and my Mom assured them that he was safe with me. Monday night my godmother kept asking the resident in her moments of lucidity "How is Cosmo?" so much the resident called my Mom and asked WHO was Cosmo. You ask about the things you love most at the end. When my Great Aunt B was dying (she was our nanny) she asked the nurses about my sister (her one true love). 

 

I am going to give Cosmo the very best life I promise. She left me with the thing that meant the most to her, as well as two quotes, one about me. 

"You are as straight as an arrow and as constant as an evening star." (a star, she thought I was a STAR!)

another about us, to remember when I am feeling discouraged

"We are descended from the women who couldn't jump from the ship, and the witches the did not burn."

She has joined the ancestors now, and in honor of every woman who couldn't jump, and every witch who looked over her shoulder in fear, she lived with grace and fire and made them proud. I will miss her very much.

When this pandemic is over and they let us in I want to go to St Kitt's in honor of her matrilineal heritage (her maternal grandmother was born there). 

I am sorry for your loss. Hugs to you and your mother. May her memory be eternal. 

[BetyBee]

@Scarlett45, I'm so sorry for your loss. Your godmother sounds like an amazing woman. I love the quotes!  My goodness, having Cosmo to love and care for is such a gift from her and from you to her. You and your mother have done everything you could to make her passing more peaceful for her. You truly are a STAR! 💜

[Scarlett45]

7 minutes ago, BetyBee said:

@Scarlett45, I'm so sorry for your loss. Your godmother sounds like an amazing woman. I love the quotes!  My goodness, having Cosmo to love and care for is such a gift from her and from you to her. You and your mother have done everything you could to make her passing more peaceful for her. You truly are a STAR! 💜

 

7 minutes ago, crazycatlady58 said:

I am sorry for your loss. Hugs to you and your mother. May her memory be eternal. 

You are very kind thank you. She was there when they cut me out! I don't know a life without her, and truthfully I don't know my Mom without her? Who will drive her nuts and keep her busy now??? 

[GeeGolly]

So sorry @Scarlett45. What a loving story and sweet tribute to your Godmother. It sounds like you, your mom and Godmother were an amazing trio. Hugs to you and your family.

[CherryMalotte]

Scarlett45 please accept my condolences on your godmother, and to all those that loved her.  I know you will give Cosmo the best life possible.  Many hugs to you.

[ginger90]

I’m so sorry, @Scarlett45 .

[Minivanessa]

@Scarlett45 - yes you are a star. What a lovely tribute to your godmother. I'm so sorry that her life here with all of you who love her, wasn't longer. Sending you and Cosmo some hugs. 

[QuinnInND]

I'm so sorry @Scarlett45. What a beautiful tribute. You are indeed a star. How lucky you are to have had someone like that in your life. May her memory be a blessing. Cosmo has a wonderful home with you. 

((((hugs))) for you and Cosmo. ❤️

[lookeyloo]

46 minutes ago, Scarlett45 said:

Good morning Small Talk Friends. I had a to take a break from the site for a few days. 

 

My god mother passed away on Tuesday a little bit before 2pm, I finished up my work day, and then took a few days to myself to assist my Mom and mentally rest after the exhausting three weeks we had managing her end of life care. When my Mom came home from work that day I took her hand and said "I will be your best friend now little Mommy." (yes I am 35 and call my mom "little mommy"- I am not ashamed). I also did have a therapy session and check in with my friend who is a pastor (I am agnostic but I respect and her wisdom)

 

Relatively speaking she didnt suffer long, and I admit I have been trapped in random giggle fits thinking of her using her last strength to tell her husband to get her house cleaned or get out, and she would be at the hotel until both were done. Her youngest daughter was supposed to be in charge of funeral arrangements (which she agreed to do) but I dont think she is up for it mentally and wants the husband's cooperation to close out the estate and sell the house so she is letting HIM do it. NO way will I ever subject my Mother to that man's screaming, tirades and abuse ever again. We will not be attending the funeral- I told my Mom it was up to her, and she said she was very tired and we are still in a pandemic. Funerals are for the living not the dead. 

But get this! The hospital my Godmother was in when she died called MY MOTHER yesterday at approximately 5pm, gave their condolences for the loss and asked about funeral/arrangements for the body. My godmother is still in the fridge!! At that point I just got angry.

My Mom is hurting. She is exhausted, hurt and feels unappreciated. Upon letting their people know many asked about my god mother's dog(it was known how much she loved him), and my Mom assured them that he was safe with me. Monday night my godmother kept asking the resident in her moments of lucidity "How is Cosmo?" so much the resident called my Mom and asked WHO was Cosmo. You ask about the things you love most at the end. When my Great Aunt B was dying (she was our nanny) she asked the nurses about my sister (her one true love). 

 

I am going to give Cosmo the very best life I promise. She left me with the thing that meant the most to her, as well as two quotes, one about me. 

"You are as straight as an arrow and as constant as an evening star." (a star, she thought I was a STAR!)

another about us, to remember when I am feeling discouraged

"We are descended from the women who couldn't jump from the ship, and the witches they did not burn."

She has joined the ancestors now, and in honor of every woman who couldn't jump, and every witch who looked over her shoulder in fear, she lived with grace and fire and made them proud. I will miss her very much.

When this pandemic is over and they let us in I want to go to St Kitt's in honor of her matrilineal heritage (her maternal grandmother was born there). 

I am so sorry for your loss (and for the rest of the family who loved your godmother).   Your godmother left you with some wonderful memories and tributes.  You and Cosmo are lucky to have each other.

[beckie]

6 hours ago, Love2dance said:

I completely agree. I don’t do these exercises when I am in the midst of the spinning vertigo. I have to wait until it subsides somewhat and then I do the bed or couch one. I save the summersault position for when I’m feeling better and want to prevent an attack or when I am having a mild episode. I try to do the bed exercise several times a month as a preventative since my vertigo has returned a few times.

It doesn't seem to matter how active I am, when mine hit I'm incapacitated.  One of the last ones I had happened at my very active job. And the last one started while I was asleep and woke up in a full blown attack.  Luckily they don't happen often.

[beckie]

@Scarlett45 sorry to hear about your godmother. 

[Minivanessa]

Here in Denver the big snowstorm is taking its time about dropping in. First it was going to start last night, then it was early this morning. But I woke up this morning to no snow, and predictions that it will arrive this afternoon. What a tease. The temps are - thank goodness - not clear down to freezing, and it looks like there's just a hint of a drizzle of rain outside. I probably generated more precipitation than that, when I shed tears reading @Scarlett45's post about her godmother. ❤️

I'm watching the weatherperson on teevee right now. My area looks to get 10 to 20 inches of show, which is lower than the predicted totals in other areas. I don't have a talent for understanding deep dives into the science, but I find weather forecasting to be an intriguing thing. At least snowstorms give the meteorologists lead time to work with. I've read some excellent books about tornadoes, and that's some scary stuff - and also some amazing progress in weather science in the last half century. 

ETA: A few years ago I read the play Pressure, which I'd love to see performed if it ever is again. It dramatizes the real events leading up to the D-Day invasion in WWII; Eisenhower had to evaluate the weather predictions he was being given in order to decide when to order the troops into action. Sounds a little pedestrian put that way, but holy heck, it was an inherently dramatic situation and IMO the play served it well. 

I hope that I can post tomorrow, for Good News Sunday, that our power stayed on. 🙂

Stay safe and well, my Prayer Closet friends.

Edited March 13, 2021 by Jeeves

[Scarlett45]

51 minutes ago, lookeyloo said:

I am so sorry for your loss (and for the rest of the family who loved your godmother).   Your godmother left you with some wonderful memories and tributes.  You and Cosmo are lucky to have each other.

Thank you @lookeyloo , I hope you, your husband and sweet son’s widower are taking care of yourselves. 
 

Awww @Jeeves- stay safe. I got 70lbs of pet safe ice melt because there’s always one good snow in March here. 

[doodlebug]

32 minutes ago, Jeeves said:

Here in Denver the big snowstorm is taking its time about dropping in. First it was going to start last night, then it was early this morning. But I woke up this morning to no snow, and predictions that it will arrive this afternoon. What a tease. The temps are - thank goodness - not clear down to freezing, and it looks like there's just a hint of a drizzle of rain outside. I probably generated more precipitation than that, when I shed tears reading @Scarlett45's post about her godmother. ❤️

I'm watching the weatherperson on teevee right now. My area looks to get 10 to 20 inches of show, which is lower than the predicted totals in other areas. I don't have a talent for understanding deep dives into the science, but I find weather forecasting to be an intriguing thing. At least snowstorms give the meteorologists lead time to work with. I've read some excellent books about tornadoes, and that's some scary stuff - and also some amazing progress in weather science in the last half century. 

ETA: A few years ago I read the play Pressure, which I'd love to see performed if it ever is again. It dramatizes the real events leading up to the D-Day invasion in WWII; Eisenhower had to evaluate the weather predictions he was being given in order to decide when to order the troops into action. Sounds a little pedestrian put that way, but holy heck, it was an inherently dramatic situation and IMO the play served it well. 

I hope that I can post tomorrow, for Good News Sunday, that our power stayed on. 🙂

Stay safe and well, my Prayer Closet friends.

A coworker has been in Denver this week visiting a friend.  She called us on Friday to say that her flight home on Sunday (tomorrow) had already been canceled and she didn't know when she'd be able to find a flight home.

12 hours ago, QuinnInND said:

I do want to tell her I've always loved her, and how bad I felt about leaving her, and I've still got the teddy bear. That my leaving had nothing to do with her. She was my last thought as I walked away. So some parts of the past I would be ok discussing. At least as far as I want to go. But yes. Boundaries will be set. I want my mother to know nothing about me. I only want answers from her. The truth.  And if she asks, how much should I tell her about how I survived? What I had to do? Being a call girl, doing the porn etc. Or just be vague? I don't want to lie to her either. 

I think initially, anyway, you've got to play your cards close to the vest. I would just tell her that it was not easy, that it took a lot of blood, sweat and tears, but you did what you had to do to build a better life.  And that's what you've done.  Remember, too, that even if she promises not to speak to your mother about you, there is a very real chance that she will tell your mother.  She's her mother, too, and they've obviously been close enough to work together to find you; so I wouldn't tell her anything that you wouldn't want your mother to know.  Even the bad stuff is very personal and, if it were me, I wouldn't feel safe possibly sharing it with your mother, who hasn't proven herself trustworthy. 

I also think there is absolutely nothing wrong with telling your sister that there is one piece of info you do want from your mother: the name of your father and any sort of identifying info she might know (his date of birth, old address, whatever).  Your sister could be a good conduit to getting information that you want from your mother.

[whydoiwatch]

@SCARLETT45 - I, too, am very sorry for your loss. Wish I could offer more, but I am thinking of you and your mother and Cosmo.

[doodlebug]

1 hour ago, Scarlett45 said:

Good morning Small Talk Friends. I had a to take a break from the site for a few days. 

 

My god mother passed away on Tuesday a little bit before 2pm, I finished up my work day, and then took a few days to myself to assist my Mom and mentally rest after the exhausting three weeks we had managing her end of life care. When my Mom came home from work that day I took her hand and said "I will be your best friend now little Mommy." (yes I am 35 and call my mom "little mommy"- I am not ashamed). I also did have a therapy session and check in with my friend who is a pastor (I am agnostic but I respect and her wisdom)

 

Relatively speaking she didnt suffer long, and I admit I have been trapped in random giggle fits thinking of her using her last strength to tell her husband to get her house cleaned or get out, and she would be at the hotel until both were done. Her youngest daughter was supposed to be in charge of funeral arrangements (which she agreed to do) but I dont think she is up for it mentally and wants the husband's cooperation to close out the estate and sell the house so she is letting HIM do it. NO way will I ever subject my Mother to that man's screaming, tirades and abuse ever again. We will not be attending the funeral- I told my Mom it was up to her, and she said she was very tired and we are still in a pandemic. Funerals are for the living not the dead. 

But get this! The hospital my Godmother was in when she died called MY MOTHER yesterday at approximately 5pm, gave their condolences for the loss and asked about funeral/arrangements for the body. My godmother is still in the fridge!! At that point I just got angry.

My Mom is hurting. She is exhausted, hurt and feels unappreciated. Upon letting their people know many asked about my god mother's dog(it was known how much she loved him), and my Mom assured them that he was safe with me. Monday night my godmother kept asking the resident in her moments of lucidity "How is Cosmo?" so much the resident called my Mom and asked WHO was Cosmo. You ask about the things you love most at the end. When my Great Aunt B was dying (she was our nanny) she asked the nurses about my sister (her one true love). 

 

I am going to give Cosmo the very best life I promise. She left me with the thing that meant the most to her, as well as two quotes, one about me. 

"You are as straight as an arrow and as constant as an evening star." (a star, she thought I was a STAR!)

another about us, to remember when I am feeling discouraged

"We are descended from the women who couldn't jump from the ship, and the witches they did not burn."

She has joined the ancestors now, and in honor of every woman who couldn't jump, and every witch who looked over her shoulder in fear, she lived with grace and fire and made them proud. I will miss her very much.

When this pandemic is over and they let us in I want to go to St Kitt's in honor of her matrilineal heritage (her maternal grandmother was born there). 

Your godmother was a champion, a hero.  How wonderful to have had her in your life!  When I read her quote about you, my first thought is, 'Boy, she really knows Scarlett down to her toes, inside and out'.  Her quote sums up the woman those of us in the Prayer Closet have gotten to know.  Your determination to help her get the send-off she wanted was proof of your steadfast character.

And Cosmo is her boy, her love.  It says a lot that she entrusted the care of her most prized possession to you.  I think she also knew what a comfort he will be to you and your mom as your lives continue without her.  Dogs are the best people I know. (Although one of mine is currently barking like a maniac at the guy who is repairing my side door and I am feeling a little less than enriched by her presence in my life right now).

Edited March 13, 2021 by doodlebug

[Scarlett45]

1 minute ago, doodlebug said:

Your godmother was a champion, a hero.  How wonderful to have had her in your life!  When I read her quote about you, my first thought is, 'Boy, she really knows Scarlett down to her toes, inside and out'.  Her quote sums up the women those of us in the Prayer Closet have gotten to know.

And Cosmo is her boy, her love.  It says a lot that she entrusted the care of her most prized possession to you.  I think she also knew what a comfort he will be to you and your mom as your lives continue without her.  Dogs are the best people I know. (Although one of mine is currently barking like a maniac at the guy who is repairing my side door at the moment).

Thank you @doodlebug she was a bad ass Ob/Gyn like you, I think of her heading out in the beginning of the lockdown, doing chemo, determined to provide women the care they needed. She worked almost up until the end like she wanted to- right up until she asked me to get Cosmo. 
 

She lived like she wanted, fought for what she thought was important, and I do think she knew deep down inside who was suited to do what. She made my Mom medical POA for a reason- and not just because she was a physician as well. 
 

I can’t imagine how alone my Mom feels right now. My Mom is an only child, no spouse/partner, no extended family- just me (and my sister of course but you know what I mean), and she’s lost the second person to know her the longest (the first being grandfather who died when she was 55.)

My Mom needs friends right now although she would never admit it (she does have other friends and colleagues and a decent social circle but PANDEMIC). 

[ozziemom]

@Scarlett45 sorry to hear about your godmother’s passing, it is never easy. Sending you virtual hugs. 

[CouchTater]

2 hours ago, Scarlett45 said:

Good morning Small Talk Friends. I had a to take a break from the site for a few days. 

 

My god mother passed away on Tuesday a little bit before 2pm, I finished up my work day, and then took a few days to myself to assist my Mom and mentally rest after the exhausting three weeks we had managing her end of life care. When my Mom came home from work that day I took her hand and said "I will be your best friend now little Mommy." (yes I am 35 and call my mom "little mommy"- I am not ashamed). I also did have a therapy session and check in with my friend who is a pastor (I am agnostic but I respect and trust her wisdom)

 

Relatively speaking she didnt suffer long, and I admit I have been trapped in random giggle fits thinking of her using her last strength to tell her husband to get her house cleaned or get out, and she would be at the hotel until both were done. Her youngest daughter was supposed to be in charge of funeral arrangements (which she agreed to do) but I dont think she is up for it mentally and wants the husband's cooperation to close out the estate and sell the house so she is letting HIM do it. NO way will I ever subject my Mother to that man's screaming, tirades and abuse ever again. We will not be attending the funeral- I told my Mom it was up to her, and she said she was very tired and we are still in a pandemic. Funerals are for the living not the dead. 

But get this! The hospital my Godmother was in when she died called MY MOTHER yesterday at approximately 5pm, gave their condolences for the loss and asked about funeral/arrangements for the body. My godmother is still in the fridge!! At that point I just got angry.

My Mom is hurting. She is exhausted, hurt and feels unappreciated. Upon letting their people know many asked about my god mother's dog(it was known how much she loved him), and my Mom assured them that he was safe with me. Monday night my godmother kept asking the resident in her moments of lucidity "How is Cosmo?" so much the resident called my Mom and asked WHO was Cosmo. You ask about the things you love most at the end. When my Great Aunt B was dying (she was our nanny) she asked the nurses about my sister (her one true love). 

 

I am going to give Cosmo the very best life I promise. She left me with the thing that meant the most to her, as well as two quotes, one about me. 

"You are as straight as an arrow and as constant as an evening star." (a star, she thought I was a STAR!)

another about us, to remember when I am feeling discouraged

"We are descended from the women who couldn't jump from the ship, and the witches they did not burn."

She has joined the ancestors now, and in honor of every woman who couldn't jump, and every witch who looked over her shoulder in fear, she lived with grace and fire and made them proud. I will miss her very much.

When this pandemic is over and they let us in I want to go to St Kitt's in honor of her matrilineal heritage (her maternal grandmother was born there). 

Oh @Scarlett45, I'm so sorry to hear that your Godmother has passed on.  I'm sending you internet hugs and support.  God bless all of you, and Cosmo, too.

*I am so outraged that the husband has been given the honor/responsibility to see to your Godmother's final arrangement.  I applaud your mom and you for sitting the funeral out.  It really is for the living.  You showed your Grandmother love, respect, and support while she was here, which is most important.  

[iwantcookies]

Sounds like the friend had children. Maybe they will keep in touch with your mom. It brings comfort to talk to people who loved/knew the one who passed.

I am sorry for your loss. 
 

Cosmo is in good hands. He has such a sweet face. 

@Scarlett45

[Zella]

@Scarlett45, I'm so sorry about your godmother. You and your mom have my deepest condolences. 

[Scarlett45]

5 minutes ago, CouchTater said:

*I am so outraged that the husband has been given the honor/responsibility to see to your Godmother's final arrangement.  I applaud your mom and you for sitting the funeral out.  It really is for the living.  You showed your Grandmother love, respect, and support while she was here, which is most important.  

I have been more understanding of her husband’s “issues” than most. Had he just let her go to the hotel in peace I would be willing to play nice, but when he started “performing” at the hotel, the hospital, SCREAMING at my Mom, saying that it was a “conspiracy” to keep his wife away- she LEFT. She used the last bit of her strength to LEAVE. Without her PHONE. She didn’t even pack a BAG! And then he threatened not to pay the bills until she came back! She was in the hospital. Can you believe?

Somewhere in his head he did a good job of caring for her, but his best wasn’t good enough. And rather than leave her care to others more physically and mentally capable he made it all about him. How low. I don’t envy the mess he will be when his own kids finally have to deal with him. 
 

My godmother has birthday presents she never even got to use. Her son law’s parents gave her a hat she was fond of but she never got to use it. That makes me SO SAD. I have those things, I will ship them to her daughter if she wants them. 

7 minutes ago, iwantcookies said:

Sounds like the friend had children. Maybe they will keep in touch with your mom. It brings comfort to talk to people who loved/knew the one who passed.

I am sorry for your loss. 
 

Cosmo is in good hands. He has such a sweet face. 

@Scarlett45

Yes my godmother had three daughters- we are closest with the youngest who’s kind of checked out; I think this is all too much for her. 

[CouchTater]

@scarlett45, not that it excuses anything, but is the husband mentally unwell?  I mean, officially diagnosed?  Clearly he has some screws loose unofficially.

Nothing he has done makes any sense.  If he is lucid, he may wake up one day and realize what an ass he was during your Godmother's final days.  I hope he does.

[Zella]

I recognize that people are not always their best during times of stress, especially during family illness and death, but I think that's often more about people showing their true colors than anything else. Every funeral in my family that's turned into a clusterfuck was because of people who were already assholes, not grief.

His issues, whatever they are, seem pretty systematic and not just like a one-time thing. 

I think not attending the funeral is probably for the best, though it's sad that is necessary. I would definitely recommend prioritizing yours and your mom's well-being on that front over anything else. 

Edited March 13, 2021 by Zella

[Scarlett45]

11 minutes ago, CouchTater said:

@scarlett45, not that it excuses anything, but is the husband mentally unwell?  I mean, officially diagnosed?  Clearly he has some screws loose unofficially.

Nothing he has done makes any sense.  If he is lucid, he may wake up one day and realize what an ass he was during your Godmother's final days.  I hope he does.

Yes I think he is mentally unwell. She was his stabilizing force and statistically HE was supposed to get sick and she was supposed to take care of him; but it didn’t happen that way. 
 

He had the hoarding tendencies when they met, but he was hygienic (no trash or anything). His ex wife and mother of his kids (who they were friendly with and was contacted when all this happened) said that he had an episode like this 25yrs ago which prompted her to finally get a divorce. I do wonder if he’s drinking again (he had been sober 12yrs before this, my god mother got him back in rehab and AA). 
 

Again he isn’t my problem. Let his own kids deal with him. He put them through school and paid for their luxurious weddings- so he’s their problem. 

[rue721]

@Scarlett45 I’m so sorry that you lost your grandmother. Maybe your mother and your godmother’s daughters will want to hold a remembrance after everyone is vaccinated (maybe in St Kitt’s?). Thank god that Cosmo has you and that your godmother could go in peace knowing that he and your mother are safe in your care, and her daughters are grown and safe as well. 

Edited March 13, 2021 by rue721

[Scarlett45]

@rue721 I would love to be in St Kitt’s her next birthday remembering her life after it’s safe to do so. 

[marypat57]

On 3/12/2021 at 10:21 AM, iwantcookies said:

My apartment is so hot they melted. I usually keep my chocolate in the fridge anyway.

My apartment is hot also.....

Thin mints are also good if you keep them in the freezer.  They are absolutely yummy if you crush them and add to homemade or store bought vanilla ice cream.

On a rare occasion or two I have discovered a stray box of Thin Mints or Tagalongs all the way in the back of my fridge.  I figured it was my reward for cleaning the fridge.

I must order some Girl Scout cookies...I donate some to the troops.  It makes me feel better 😊  .

 

 

[marypat57]

3 hours ago, Scarlett45 said:

"You are as straight as an arrow and as constant as an evening star." (a star, she thought I was a STAR!)

"We are descended from the women who couldn't jump from the ship, and the witches they did not burn."

She has joined the ancestors now, and in honor of every woman who couldn't jump, and every witch who looked over her shoulder in fear, she lived with grace and fire and made them proud. I will miss her very much.

 

@Scarlett45:  How lucky you were to have your godmother in your life!  Lots of virtual hugs for you, your mom and of course, Cosmo.

I LOVE those quotes.  They would be lovely on a pillow or a painting, or maybe with a photo....Let’s see if I can come up with something..

Scarlett45, when you, who your godmother thought of as a STAR, looks up at the stars in the sky tonight, remember that your godmother is another star, shining brightly down upon you..

 

 

 

[iwantcookies]

I noticed that kids wear the mask correctly and don’t complain about it. It’s adorable! It’s some adults who act like donkeys about it. 

[QuinnInND]

11 minutes ago, iwantcookies said:

I noticed that kids wear the mask correctly and don’t complain about it. It’s adorable! It’s some adults who act like donkeys about it. 

Right? 

[Love2dance]

@Scarlett45, please accept my most sincere sympathy for the passing of your godmother. Thank you for sharing the amazing women in your family with us. May your beautiful memories bring you and your mother comfort. I really hope you will be able to have the memorial in St. Kitts!

[Suzn]

5 hours ago, Scarlett45 said:

Good morning Small Talk Friends. I had a to take a break from the site for a few days. 

 

My god mother passed away on Tuesday a little bit before 2pm, I finished up my work day, and then took a few days to myself to assist my Mom and mentally rest after the exhausting three weeks we had managing her end of life care. When my Mom came home from work that day I took her hand and said "I will be your best friend now little Mommy." (yes I am 35 and call my mom "little mommy"- I am not ashamed). I also did have a therapy session and check in with my friend who is a pastor (I am agnostic but I respect and trust her wisdom)

 

Relatively speaking she didnt suffer long, and I admit I have been trapped in random giggle fits thinking of her using her last strength to tell her husband to get her house cleaned or get out, and she would be at the hotel until both were done. Her youngest daughter was supposed to be in charge of funeral arrangements (which she agreed to do) but I dont think she is up for it mentally and wants the husband's cooperation to close out the estate and sell the house so she is letting HIM do it. NO way will I ever subject my Mother to that man's screaming, tirades and abuse ever again. We will not be attending the funeral- I told my Mom it was up to her, and she said she was very tired and we are still in a pandemic. Funerals are for the living not the dead. 

But get this! The hospital my Godmother was in when she died called MY MOTHER yesterday at approximately 5pm, gave their condolences for the loss and asked about funeral/arrangements for the body. My godmother is still in the fridge!! At that point I just got angry.

My Mom is hurting. She is exhausted, hurt and feels unappreciated. Upon letting their people know many asked about my god mother's dog(it was known how much she loved him), and my Mom assured them that he was safe with me. Monday night my godmother kept asking the resident in her moments of lucidity "How is Cosmo?" so much the resident called my Mom and asked WHO was Cosmo. You ask about the things you love most at the end. When my Great Aunt B was dying (she was our nanny) she asked the nurses about my sister (her one true love). 

 

I am going to give Cosmo the very best life I promise. She left me with the thing that meant the most to her, as well as two quotes, one about me. 

"You are as straight as an arrow and as constant as an evening star." (a star, she thought I was a STAR!)

another about us, to remember when I am feeling discouraged

"We are descended from the women who couldn't jump from the ship, and the witches they did not burn."

She has joined the ancestors now, and in honor of every woman who couldn't jump, and every witch who looked over her shoulder in fear, she lived with grace and fire and made them proud. I will miss her very much.

When this pandemic is over and they let us in I want to go to St Kitt's in honor of her matrilineal heritage (her maternal grandmother was born there). 

@SCARLETT45,  I am so sorry.  You have been through so much.  Your mother and Cosmo are lucky to have you to take care of them.

[Olliesmom]

@Scarlett45, I am so sorry for your loss. Your godmother sounds like she was an incredible person.  She left you Cosmo because you are a kind and incredible person as well.  My prayers are with you and your Mom during this time.