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Small Talk: The Prayer Closet


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While we understand the frustration (change is never easy), please keep in mind that not everyone feels the same way and that for those members who don't, the ongoing conversation about other forums and chat options can equally be a cause of frustration.

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3 minutes ago, SunnyBeBe said:

 

I have talked with quite a few people who say that they can’t stop eating since shelter at home started. They seem to be on eating binges.  Not sure why that seems so prevalent. It hasn’t hit me yet, thank goodness.

I saw a meme that said something along the line of "stay at home orders mean I'll either lose 50 pounds or gain 100." That's me. I rotate between ravenous stress-fueled binge eating and stress-induced loss of appetite even on a good day. (Yes, I know I have a really dysfunctional relationship with food.) This whole pandemic thing has been making me alternate between not eating and binge eating, and I'm not even in an area particularly hard hit yet. 😞 

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I lost 6 pounds over this past month and horrible cold. I don’t want to regain it. I’m trying to eat as healthy as possible and limit snacks. I tend to over do it on the healthy snacks. Too many calories. 

Edited by SunnyBeBe
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1 minute ago, SunnyBeBe said:

I lost 6 pounds over this past month and horrible cold. I don’t want to regain it. I’m trying to eat as healthy as possible and limit snacks. I tend to over do it on the healthy snacks. Too many calories. 

I don't eat healthy snacks! I need to try.

I'm at least fortunate in that I am in a rural area--like, literally live on the dead end of a dirt road--and I can get out and walk with no problems, pandemic or not. But with my environmental allergies, bad weather, and some work deadlines, I've not been able to do that lately. I pace around my living room at night, but it's not quite the same. Hoping I can at least exercise more during this, if nothing else. 

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I've lost about 4 pounds over the last month (I last weighed before all of this ramped up).  I need to lose the weight so I'm not complaining, but I have figured out I'm probably not eating as much because for the most part I'm not leaving my house, so I'm not burning off as many calories.  I have started taking my trash out every day. Our compacter is about a block away from my house and if I walk in the big circle it gives me about a 2.5 block walk. I haven't seen any of my neighbors up close and personal, so I feel OK doing this. Not like the walking I was doing when I went into work every day, but better than nothing.

Edited by Lisa418722
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15 minutes ago, SunnyBeBe said:

I don’t get why my mom doesn’t get my explanation of why you can’t store a broom in a closet that also stores your paper towels. Even without covid-19, that’s not sanitary, imo, if you use the paper towels around food.

I store paper towels on a higher shelf in a broom closet!

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2 hours ago, Jenniferbug said:

Is eating take out/delivery still safe? We have gotten it a couple of times, but that chain of disease mentioned up thread has me wondering. We've been careful to put food on plates and dispose of containers before washing our hands thoroughly and then eating, but is that enough?

I respect everyone's decision regarding what's best for their family, but yes I think its still safe. I wash my hands and throw away the containers before I start eating. My Mom and I are committed to ordering delivery at least once a week because we can afford it and it supports the local businesses with extra big tips for the drivers. Last week was Ethiopian, this week was pizza, next week is sushi for her birthday. I got her flowers when I went to Trader Joe's yesterday and I am still taking her out for a spa day when the spas reopen. In the interim I got her a new home foot spa massage bath for her to soak her feet until she can get a pedicure. Someone is excited to turn 72.

 

 

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2 hours ago, SunnyBeBe said:

I lost 6 pounds over this past month and horrible cold. I don’t want to regain it. I’m trying to eat as healthy as possible and limit snacks. I tend to over do it on the healthy snacks. Too many calories. 

I have made a conscious effort to not snack all day. Its so easy when the fridge is right next to your desk (I normally pack my lunch/snacks for work then I can only eat what I bring). But I have been doing a good job, I haven't bought extra snacks and I still meal plan so I have lost a few pounds too!

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I noticed that even though the grocery store had an audio message reminding people to stay 6 ft from each other, many just seemed oblivious and they strolled right up to you like they are in a trance. So, I had to dart away....what’s wrong with people? 

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I’d like to do more outside, but the pollen is terrible. My allergies appear to be acting up this year. Some years they don’t act up much.  I hope after the rain next week, things clear up.

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4 minutes ago, beckie said:

 

Hubby and I have been sheltering in place for a little over a week now. I'm more of a homebody so finding crafts and stuff to do has been easier for me. He's very active much of the time and prefers working and being outside so he's having a harder time of it. But he also has stage 3 COPD so he stays in. Also his insurance expired at the beginning of January so I'm afraid they'd turn him away if he did get sick.

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This is appropros of the discussion we're having over in the Sweet Fellowship topic, about Jill Rodrigues and her ignorance or willful disregard of the social distancing and other basic hygiene we all need right now in this pandemic. The Mythbusters guys did this video a few years ago and IMO it's relevant now. 

 

 

Edited by Jeeves
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3 hours ago, zoomama said:

where in texas are ya heading?  i want to be there too but its not my time yet. 

We are headed to the Plano area. The house we're building is in McKinney (though daughter will be going to Melissa school district). Shockingly, construction is considered an essential business which .... ok? The outside framing is done and I guess there's enough separation but still seems weird. We were going to put our current house on the market on Apr 1 but we pushed it to Apr 15 and I have a feeling it will be pushed further. It's all very much wait and see how things go.

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6 hours ago, frenchtoast said:

For his sister, it's more difficult. She's in 8th grade and we're moving from MA to TX in the summer (if moving companies are up and running by then)

Am I the only dummy who can't remember all the state's abbreviations?

TX was easy... but I had to Google MA! 😁

(I thought it might be Maine, but it's Massachusetts!) 🙃

Edited by ChiCricket
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2 hours ago, SunnyBeBe said:

I’d like to do more outside, but the pollen is terrible. My allergies appear to be acting up this year. Some years they don’t act up much.  I hope after the rain next week, things clear up.

My allergies are kicking up this year too. This Queen parody mentions allergies in the time of Covid-19😁

( I think it's very well done.)

 

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I'm having a tough time dealing with my Mom and my brother.  I'm really sick with what I hope is strep and my Mom is being a pill, expecting me to drive 50 miles and bring her groceries and beer for my brother, who chooses not to leave the house ever, but loves (needs) to drink every night. It's hurtful because she doesn't seem to care that I'm sick. She doesn't believe that the virus is that serious. She's always been all about her boys and is quite critical of her daughters. Everyone but my living with Mom brother is helpful to her, but of course she appreciates him the most. I've been suggesting a delivery service since we moved and she always acts hurt. But my brother must have been anxious about running low on beer, because he actually placed an instacart order. I told him he should continue doing that while our state is under stay at home orders.  Anyway, my doc ordered me a z-pack and I was lucky to get it. I hope by tomorrow my throat is feeling better.  I've had a couple of miserable nights.  Sorry to be such a complainer!  

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beckie, my friend posted this the other night, it's his friend's husband's company:

IMMEDIATE WORK FROM HOME EMPLOYMENT OPPORTUNITY
Titan Technologies is supporting the US Small Business Administration Contact Center, assisting small businesses across the US in registering for the US Government’s COVID Recovery Small Business Loan Program. We are immediately hiring candidates to take calls from home. All candidates must have reliable internet service and computer access at home including microphone access on the computer to be able to support phone calls through your computer interface.

Compensation: $18 per hour and employees may work up to 40 hours in a week.
Start Date: IMMEDIATE START DATES as early as Sunday, March 28th.

All interested candidates should send their name, phone number and email to SBAResumes@titantechnologies.com. Candidates should expect to be contacted immediately.

 

BetyBee, I hope you feel better quickly. Your brother and mom are adults, they can fare just fine without you, you should focus on your health. 

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I’m so sorry, Betybee. Your mother sounds like a codependent and enabler for your brother. Dealing with that kind of dysfunction  is hard enough when you’re healthy!

Do NOT risk your health further by doing for them what they’re perfectly capable of doing for themselves. When you’re feeling better, you might want to do some reading about codependent families and how to set boundaries...in the meantime, I send you a big virtual hug. 

Take care of you!!!!

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12 minutes ago, Oldernowiser said:

I’m so sorry, Betybee. Your mother sounds like a codependent and enabler for your brother. Dealing with that kind of dysfunction  is hard enough when you’re healthy!

Do NOT risk your health further by doing for them what they’re perfectly capable of doing for themselves. When you’re feeling better, you might want to do some reading about codependent families and how to set boundaries...in the meantime, I send you a big virtual hug. 

Take care of you!!!!

You are 100% correct @OLDERNOWISER!  She's very codependent and is happiest caring for an alcoholic. She's been married to two of them. I should refresh my reading on codependent families and set boundaries better. I need to also not worry about what my siblings think. Luckily, my husband is totally supportive of me.  

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@BetyBee I agree with @Oldernowiser about setting some boundaries. I had a similar issue last year when I was battling bronchitis, and apparently some codependent relatives decided they could just keep dumping their shit on me, no matter how much I told them I was sick. I finally just tuned out and told them to fend for themselves. I realize you might not want to do that right now, with the pandemic going on, but you need to take care of yourself. And taking care of yourself means staying home and resting. It seems like delivery is an option, so it isn't like they will starve without you going over there. Maybe they'll finally learn some appreciation for everything you do if they have to do it for themselves. And if they don't, that's a shame, but it isn't all on you and shouldn't be. 

Edited by Zella
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Thank you everyone for sharing the videos. The Myth Buster's one is very helpful in explaining why we need to isolate ourselves. The other two are fun to watch. 

@BetyBee, it's past time for your brother to start contributing to his and your mother's well-being. 50 miles is too far to travel to do something either one of them could do for themselves, especially when it's not even appreciated. You need to focus on taking care of yourself, physically and emotionally. Don't let your mom make you feel guilty. You're legitimately sick for goshsakes!

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42 minutes ago, BetyBee said:

I'm having a tough time dealing with my Mom and my brother.  I'm really sick with what I hope is strep and my Mom is being a pill, expecting me to drive 50 miles and bring her groceries and beer for my brother, who chooses not to leave the house ever, but loves (needs) to drink every night. It's hurtful because she doesn't seem to care that I'm sick. She doesn't believe that the virus is that serious. She's always been all about her boys and is quite critical of her daughters. Everyone but my living with Mom brother is helpful to her, but of course she appreciates him the most. I've been suggesting a delivery service since we moved and she always acts hurt. But my brother must have been anxious about running low on beer, because he actually placed an instacart order. I told him he should continue doing that while our state is under stay at home orders.  Anyway, my doc ordered me a z-pack and I was lucky to get it. I hope by tomorrow my throat is feeling better.  I've had a couple of miserable nights.  Sorry to be such a complainer!  

I'm sorry to hear that BetyBee.  Families can be very frustrating at times.  I know I encounter it myself. I have learned to be my own advocate though and just say what's what. If I'm sick, I'm sick and I have no trouble explaining it to someone who can't figure out that they need to take that into consideration. If my mom had an emergency, I'd figure a way to help by ordering and using a service, but, for my brother's beer.....he could figure it out himself.  Plus, how bad would it be if you gave them STREP and that weakened their immune system and they then got the covid-19 too.  Too risky for health reasons to take any risks, imo.  JMO

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1 hour ago, BetyBee said:

You are 100% correct @OLDERNOWISER!  She's very codependent and is happiest caring for an alcoholic. She's been married to two of them. I should refresh my reading on codependent families and set boundaries better. I need to also not worry about what my siblings think. Luckily, my husband is totally supportive of me. 

50 miles is too far to drive regularly to take care of two adults who can take care of themselves.  Plan perhaps monthly visits and only visit not shop or tend to things once this virus has stopped.  Until then leave them on their own.  

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6 hours ago, Scarlett45 said:

I respect everyone's decision regarding what's best for their family, but yes I think its still safe. I wash my hands and throw away the containers before I start eating. My Mom and I are committed to ordering delivery at least once a week because we can afford it and it supports the local businesses with extra big tips for the drivers. Last week was Ethiopian, this week was pizza, next week is sushi for her birthday. I got her flowers when I went to Trader Joe's yesterday and I am still taking her out for a spa day when the spas reopen. In the interim I got her a new home foot spa massage bath for her to soak her feet until she can get a pedicure. Someone is excited to turn 72.

 

 

I, too, have been getting food either delivered or picking it up.  I got pasta from a nearby family-owned place tonight.  The guy who delivered is the one I usually get.  He was wearing a mask and gloves and said everyone working there was doing the same.  He told me he puts on a fresh pair of gloves for each delivery.  And, as he left the food, he told me they were recommending to all of their customer to remove the food from the package immediately, wash hands before eating, transfer leftovers to our own containers and discard all the bags and boxes in the trash right away.  Aside from excellent food, this establishment is all about their customers.

 

8 hours ago, lookeyloo said:

There are plenty of you tube videos on line about take out containers. And other containers that might have been touched. We leave everything in the garage a few days unless needs refrigeration then it is taken to a table and wiped down and then the table is wiped down .  3 of the 4 of us are high risk so we are being very careful. 

I am glad to know you're taking precautions, although I knew you would.  I hope your son's pain is being managed these days and he has workable plan for that.

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6 minutes ago, doodlebug said:

I, too, have been getting food either delivered or picking it up.  I got pasta from a nearby family-owned place tonight.  The guy who delivered is the one I usually get.  He was wearing a mask and gloves and said everyone working there was doing the same.  He told me he puts on a fresh pair of gloves for each delivery.  And, as he left the food, he told me they were recommending to all of their customer to remove the food from the package immediately, wash hands before eating, transfer leftovers to our own containers and discard all the bags and boxes in the trash right away.  Aside from excellent food, this establishment is all about their customers.

I wish the drivers here were more consistent. I had to show ID for one delivery, which we managed by me holding my license at arm's length and the driver standing as far away as possible while taking the picture of it with their phone, also at arm's length. The Doordash drivers have been pretty sanguine, though, to the point that I emailed the company. We want them to put the food down and back away. They have supposedly gone to no-contact delivery but all three we've seen still want to hand you the food. I get it that it feels rude to put it down and back off but it's what has to happen now.

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There's other agnostics in here, right?

   I'm feeling extremely  overwhelmed with my very religious family members at this time. Especially in the group where we're getting updates on my nephew F's health.

We just got another one, and he is NOT doing well. 😭

  I think I'm going to scream if one more person writes:

"He's going to be OK..because we're all praying for him!!"

Then everyone else in the family chimes in with all the same sentiments.

and I don't know what to say (type) because I don't think any of it will help...and I'm not going to be hypocrite and say I'll pray when I can't.

But I can't NOT say something...does anyone else know what I mean?

 I already said I'm keeping him in my thoughts and heart..what else can I say?

 I don't really need answers...I just needed to talk to someone...ANYONE who feels as I do right now!! I can't even talk to my own husband, for Pete's sakes. 😭 

My husband and I don't talk religion (or politics) together anymore..but now he's starting to again. I don't think I can't take this up and down stress. 😞

 

 

Edited by ChiCricket
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2 hours ago, ChiCricket said:

There's other agnostics in here, right?

   I'm feeling extremely  overwhelmed with my very religious family members at this time. Especially in the group where we're getting updates on my nephew F's health.

We just got another one, and he is NOT doing well. 😭

  I think I'm going to scream if one more person writes:

"He's going to be OK..because we're all praying for him!!"

Then everyone else in the family chimes in with all the same sentiments.

and I don't know what to say (type) because I don't think any of it will help...and I'm not going to be hypocrite and say I'll pray when I can't.

But I can't NOT say something...does anyone else know what I mean?

 I already said I'm keeping him in my thoughts and heart..what else can I say?

 I don't really need answers...I just needed to talk to someone...ANYONE who feels as I do right now!! I can't even talk to my own husband, for Pete's sakes. 😭

 

 

I’m sorry. Yes I also say I will continue to think about people, keep them in my thoughts, cross my appendages etc. I do thank people if they say they are going to keep me in their prayers cause it doesn’t hurt and the sentiment is the same, but if there is an all powerful God, they will do what they will do-all we can do is our best and what will happen will happen. 

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7 hours ago, Scarlett45 said:

respect everyone's decision regarding what's best for their family, but yes I think its still safe. I wash my hands and throw away the containers before I start eating. My Mom and I are committed to ordering delivery at least once a week because we can afford it and it supports the local businesses with extra big tips for the drivers. Last week was Ethiopian, this week was pizza, next week is sushi for her birthday. I got her flowers when I went to Trader Joe's yesterday and I am still taking her out for a spa day when the spas reopen. In the interim I got her a new home foot spa massage bath for her to soak her feet until she can get a pedicure. Someone is excited to turn 72.

Happy Birthday to your wonderful mom!

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2 hours ago, BetyBee said:

I'm having a tough time dealing with my Mom and my brother.  I'm really sick with what I hope is strep and my Mom is being a pill, expecting me to drive 50 miles and bring her groceries and beer for my brother, who chooses not to leave the house ever, but loves (needs) to drink every night. It's hurtful because she doesn't seem to care that I'm sick. She doesn't believe that the virus is that serious. She's always been all about her boys and is quite critical of her daughters. Everyone but my living with Mom brother is helpful to her, but of course she appreciates him the most. I've been suggesting a delivery service since we moved and she always acts hurt. But my brother must have been anxious about running low on beer, because he actually placed an instacart order. I told him he should continue doing that while our state is under stay at home orders.  Anyway, my doc ordered me a z-pack and I was lucky to get it. I hope by tomorrow my throat is feeling better.  I've had a couple of miserable nights.  Sorry to be such a complainer!  

Don’t feel bad. Your brother is a big boy who can take care of himself.

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4 minutes ago, Scarlett45 said:

I’m sorry. Yes I also say I will continue to think about people, keep them in my thoughts, cross my appendages etc. I do thank people if they say they are going to keep me in their prayers cause it doesn’t hurt and the sentiment is the same, but if their is an all powerful God, they will do what, all we can do is our best and what will happen will happen. 

My husband and I actually just got in an argument, because when he heard the update, he said said "I'm going upsstairs to pray", and I then burst into tears and said  "if there IS a God, why did he let F___ get it in the first place?!"

 So yeah..it's not going well here rn.

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24 minutes ago, ChiCricket said:

My husband and I actually just got in an argument, because when he heard the update, he said said "I'm going upsstairs to pray", and I then burst into tears and said  "if there IS a God, why did he let F___ get it in the first place?!"

 So yeah..it's not going well here rn.

I wish I could give you a big hug and a place to come where you could have some peace and relax.

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4 hours ago, BetyBee said:

I'm having a tough time dealing with my Mom and my brother.  I'm really sick with what I hope is strep and my Mom is being a pill, expecting me to drive 50 miles and bring her groceries and beer for my brother, who chooses not to leave the house ever, but loves (needs) to drink every night. It's hurtful because she doesn't seem to care that I'm sick. She doesn't believe that the virus is that serious. She's always been all about her boys and is quite critical of her daughters. Everyone but my living with Mom brother is helpful to her, but of course she appreciates him the most. I've been suggesting a delivery service since we moved and she always acts hurt. But my brother must have been anxious about running low on beer, because he actually placed an instacart order. I told him he should continue doing that while our state is under stay at home orders.  Anyway, my doc ordered me a z-pack and I was lucky to get it. I hope by tomorrow my throat is feeling better.  I've had a couple of miserable nights.  Sorry to be such a complainer!  

Strep as an adult is SEVERELY awful. I’m so sorry!

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@ChiCricket, sending you a virtual hug from a fellow Chicagoan. I’m so sorry about your nephew.  Please keep us posted on his condition whenever you feel up to it. 
 

If anyone is looking for a fun way to connect with friends or loved ones during the quarantine, my husband  found an online version of Cards Against Humanity.  I think the website is playingcards.io. He set up the room and then sent us the link and we all joined in from our laptops/tablets and then used our phones to set up a group FaceTime. It took a few minutes to figure out how it worked, but it ended up being really fun. We played with our son and his gf who live in another state. We are going to try to play every Sunday night, even when this quarantine ends. 

Edited by EVS
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2 hours ago, ChiCricket said:

There's other agnostics in here, right?

   I'm feeling extremely  overwhelmed with my very religious family members at this time. Especially in the group where we're getting updates on my nephew F's health.

We just got another one, and he is NOT doing well. 😭

  I think I'm going to scream if one more person writes:

"He's going to be OK..because we're all praying for him!!"

Then everyone else in the family chimes in with all the same sentiments.

and I don't know what to say (type) because I don't think any of it will help...and I'm not going to be hypocrite and say I'll pray when I can't.

But I can't NOT say something...does anyone else know what I mean?

 I already said I'm keeping him in my thoughts and heart..what else can I say?

 I don't really need answers...I just needed to talk to someone...ANYONE who feels as I do right now!! I can't even talk to my own husband, for Pete's sakes. 😭 

My husband and I don't talk religion (or politics) together anymore..but now he's starting to again. I don't think I can't take this up and down stress. 😞

I'm so sorry. My husband and I are both atheists and I cannot imagine what you're going through. Hang in there and vent here as much as you need to.

We had a surprise video chat last night with six high school/college friends, some of whom we have not connected to for more than 15 years and it was really cool. A few decent things are coming out of this, and I say that as someone who went totally stir crazy today and settled for pacing the main floor while reading a book. Hey, it helped!

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ChiCricket I am a big ole heathen...come sit next to me.  I think it's okay to believe in God, Allah, whoever, whatever trips your trigger.  It's just as okay to be full fledged non believer and still wish people well.  I do roll my eyes at the God will protect us bullshit myself - because really, if God made us in his/her image and gave us a brain to think with, then it's up to us to protect and take care of ourselves,  and not rely on him/her to do the job for us.    We are perfectly capable of that shit all on our own.  

I hit Target early in the AM - seems to be the best time to get anything there, they still open at 8AM and I was there at 9AM.  the TP/paper towels were about half gone thru, so even though I'm beat as hell right now and turning in shortly it was worth getting up for.

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1 hour ago, jcbrown said:

I'm so sorry. My husband and I are both atheists and I cannot imagine what you're going through. Hang in there and vent here as much as you need to.

Thank you...this helps. 

PS..I know they're scared and it's their way of coping😟

 

Edited by ChiCricket
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I'm going to have to leave the house this week, I'm almost out of produce, paper towels, and *gasp* liquor (I've been craving a margarita this week and there is no tequila in the house). Normally I might do grocery delivery but my neighbors have said it's really hit or miss with the person doing the shopping/selection, so I figure either way, I'll have to go myself. Luckily, the stores here are only allowing small numbers into the stores at once and they are sanitizing everything, but I'm still a little hesitant. Isn't it weird how in just a few short weeks making a trip to the grocery store became such a serious decision? What a weird world it's become. 

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We have a pretty fancy Walmart near us, and the grocery pickup has worked really well...if you can get in at the right time online to reserve a pickup time.  No tp or towels but food seems to be pretty well stocked.

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@ChiCricket, so sorry you are going through all this and that your nephew isn’t doing well. I also have a hard time dealing with understanding a God that would allow the things happening now if it could be prevented. I would love to believe that prayer could help, but my agnostic brain won’t let me go there. I envy those who have faith. But you are not alone, and yes, what I tell people who are hurting is that they are in my thoughts, sending good thoughts and love, etc. And I mean it as heartfelt as if it was a prayer. Which is what I’m sending you for your nephew.

Oh my gosh, Just as I was sending this to you I got your last post. I am so, so sorry to hear of your nephew’s loss. That is just tragic. There are no words. I can only send you hugs and sympathy. 😥

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