S13.E08: Family & Friends & Feelings, Oh My!

[TheBride]

I hope that eventually Myrla realizes that--even if she buys fewer shoes, etc.,--she's still the same person and all her accomplishments remain. She just has made a link between her successes and her "stuff". She's a great woman, shoes or no shoes. She's even-tempered, smart, pretty, healthy, and a little intriguing!

[Crashcourse]

While I appreciate the lack of drama (so far, at least), sometimes I forget that Brett and Ryan are even there. 

[pdlinda]

1 hour ago, Jeanne222 said:

Ryan is strange. He gives no indication he likes or dislikes Brett.    He’s just there. 

Ryan always looks like he's in a hostage video.  As you say:  "He's just there."

Also, why Brett INSISTS on dressing in such an unflattering way escapes me.  Not sure what she's trying to project to those, including Ryan, who are in her company.

[JocelynCavanaugh]

17 minutes ago, Crashcourse said:

While I appreciate the lack of drama (so far, at least), sometimes I forget that Brett and Ryan are even there. 

 

16 minutes ago, pdlinda said:

Ryan always looks like he's in a hostage video.  As you say:  "He's just there."

Also, why Brett INSISTS on dressing in such an unflattering way escapes me.  Not sure what she's trying to project to those, including Ryan, who are in her company.

Yes! It's so strange. In real life, Ryan is the kind of guy I'm friends with, went to college with, generally know and like. He seems to have a hilarious wit when it actually makes an appearance, and he has one of the most adorable doggie puppy bebes ever on the show, so there must be some good inside him. He comes across as passably intelligent and self-aware... and yet, the Resting Blank Face.

I sometimes watch him on mute just to see if I can guess what he's experiencing. Are the Texans beating the Saints in overtime? Did the second plane just hit the Twin Towers? Was there a fly in the crawfish boil? You'll never guess by looking at ol' Rushmore over here. Stony AF.

Meanwhile, Brett is very expressive (and gorgeous -- I also love the straight, shiny hair!). Maybe too expressive. Ryan mentioned feeling like he has to be even more chill to balance her anxiety, which: 1) come down off the cross, we need the wood, etc., and 2) just let her be, my dude. Maybe equilibrium is achieved simply by coexisting. There's your frat koan for the day. Namaste, y'all.

[sara416]

20 hours ago, mythoughtis said:

Johnny and Bao can’t get themselves out of their own heads.  They’ve had more neurotic conversations than the other four couples combined.  He’s not ready. 

This is exactly what I've been thinking. THeir disagreements haven't been "deeper" like they keep saying, in my opinion. They both are just over analyzing every little thing possible and it is getting in their way of enjoying each other and this process. 

[Jax7917]

I couldn’t be in a relationship with either Johnny or Zack . It would give me anxiety that anytime I was upset about something , they’d say they can’t stand the arguing and they are turned off and need a break away from me . In regard to Zacks concerns , I do feel that Michaela is bat shit crazy at times And needs to work on her delivery .. but their marriage is so new , he needs to tell her how he feels and then see if she handles a disagreement differently the next time rather than just holding a grudge . 
Johnny is just Never going to be happy no matter who he’s with . I think he needs the type of girl that would put him in his place rather than a sweet girl like Bao . He walks all over her and he just nitpicks at everything . Also , he keeps saying many times already that he likes her body but I get the idea that he’s not attracted to her facially . 

[StatisticalOutlier]

4 hours ago, Rightside said:

And I don't think they even showed the name of place, have they? Doesn't that always happen?

They show the name all the time, on a vertical sign on the side of the building.  I'm working from memory, but I think it says "Latitude."  However, I think it was New Orleans that they consistently showed the outside of a building and it wasn't the one they were living in.

[Retired at last]

59 minutes ago, Jax7917 said:

I do feel that Michaela is bat shit crazy at times And needs to work on her delivery .. but their marriage is so new , he needs to tell her how he feels and then see if she handles a disagreement differently the next time rather than just holding a grudge . 

I truly don't think that she understands the issue. She keeps saying that she apologized and doesn't know what more he wants. She doesn't understand that an apology is NOT what he is looking for. He wants her to change the behavior she is apologizing for - not just apologize. And she will never get there.

[Starlight925]

Yes, that's the correct apartment building that they are in.  Starts at around $3K/month for a 1BR/1Bath.  Higher floors + more rooms = higher rent.  My guess is, they're in the $4K+ apartments.

Wonder if the experts thought that putting people in nicer, larger apartments would help with their success.  Giving them a better environment.  That gym sure looked nice.

That building is close to the Med Center, so that's their view.  We saw St. Luke's Tower in one patio scene, and Texas Children's in another.

Johnny would find fault with Cindy Crawford.  Johnny's problem is that he wasn't loved the right way by his own father; he cries every time he mentions him.  So he needs to be wanted and loved, which Bao seems to be doing well.  But Bao doesn't want to shower at the precise moment Johnny wants her to, soooo.....off with her head.  

Johnny is that guy where you'll always be on eggshells, because he'll never truly be happy, and you'll spend your night agonizing.  I was in a marriage with a Johnny.  Key word....was.

Edited September 9, 2021 by Starlight925

[Auntie Anxiety]

First BPD symptom on the Mayo Clinic site:

An intense fear of abandonment, even going to extreme measures to avoid real or imagined separation or rejection

Need I say more? Cal met with Michaela and Zack and discussed the dog daycare incident (which left us all wondering, because Zack texted her, or so I thought). Guess he wasn’t expert enough to see the neon sign flashing over Michaela’s head.

[thatsall]

23 hours ago, kristen111 said:

Myrla and Gil seem like they are on the same page with everything.  They like each other.  I just wish she would give him a little kiss tho.  

I have to wonder if they’re doing that…and possibly more…and they’ve agreed between the two of them to play it off like a storyline; as a way to return the favor of the producers inevitably editing them in ways they don’t love. 

[Elizzikra]

Quote

I don’t  ‘understand money over there’. What does that mean?

When they were looking at each other's bank accounts, Gil told Myrla that he had "money over there" which didn't make sense to her (or anyone else). Gil then explained that it was in a savings account in Costa Rica so it doesn't show on his bank statement (Costa Rica being "over there").

Quote

Wonder if the experts thought that putting people in nicer, larger apartments would help with their success. 

I know they have put them in 2 bedroom apartments in the past and I think that's a good idea. It makes me angrier when they go back to their respective homes since they can sleep separately and each have his/her own space if things are going south.

I was in Houston last spring and really liked it, but won't go back to Texas now. It seemed like there was a lot of new building, particularly apartments, in different parts of Houston (which is huge - I was surprised by that), particularly around the medical center area. I know some of that is fueled by the need for short-term housing near the medical centers, but was I imagining things or is there a lot of construction there?

[ByTor]

13 minutes ago, Elizzikra said:

Gil told Myrla that he had "money over there" which didn't make sense to her (or anyone else). Gil then explained that it was in a savings account in Costa Rica

Wasn't it in Colombia?

[bichonblitz]

1 hour ago, Starlight925 said:

Johnny would find fault with Cindy Crawford.  Johnny's problem is that he wasn't loved the right way by his own father; he cries every time he mentions him.  So he needs to be wanted and loved, which Bao seems to be doing well.  But Bao doesn't want to shower at the precise moment Johnny wants her to, soooo.....off with her head.  

BINGO!!!

[TzuShih]

22 hours ago, Adeejay said:

I can’t help but believe that something happened between Zach and Michaela to which viewers weren’t privy.  And, given how adept Michaela was in lying to the other ladies, I am not sure we will ever find out what really happened.

Yes!  Yes!  Yes!  We are definitely missing some key piece(s) to this puzzle.   🤔

[Elizzikra]

55 minutes ago, ByTor said:

Wasn't it in Colombia?

Oops - sorry!

[kristen111]

On 9/8/2021 at 9:00 PM, Elizzikra said:

I find myself… liking Myrla. She doesn’t have credit card debt and she has savings so I’m going to lay off my shopping criticisms (which I should maybe aim at myself anyway)… and she was cute with Gil’s mom…

I’m liking her also.  She beats to her own drum, doesn’t nag, has a nice temperament, also independent.  She doesn’t whine to him about anything either.  I think the spending is a little producer driven, as she has nothing to say.  If Gil is worried about the spending, I think that will eventually come to an end.  Now, if only they had a nice date out with some drinks, maybe they will consummate the marriage, I hope.  The guy is a first responder and saves lives.  She should make him a little happy.  He’s good to his Mother too, which says a lot about him.  Actually, I’m surprised he had to go on tv to find a wife.  Women go nuts for firemen.

Edited September 10, 2021 by kristen111

[Starlight925]

1 hour ago, Elizzikra said:

I was in Houston last spring and really liked it, but won't go back to Texas now. It seemed like there was a lot of new building, particularly apartments, in different parts of Houston (which is huge - I was surprised by that), particularly around the medical center area. I know some of that is fueled by the need for short-term housing near the medical centers, but was I imagining things or is there a lot of construction there?

Yes, tons of construction, and tons of traffic.  More than ever.

People are moving to Houston in droves.  Home prices are insane.  My friend's new home, purchased last year, is $150K higher today.

And as to where they are coming from....mostly California.

Wow, @Auntie Anxiety the BPD description fits Mikaela to a tee.  Unfortunately, I know BPD all too well, having had to deal with it in my past.  The tantrum she threw, slamming down the wipes....bad memories for me.  Run, sweet Zack....run.

 

Edited September 10, 2021 by Starlight925

[Alexander Pope]

9 hours ago, shannew said:

Gil couldn't wait to spill the tea to Myrla.    Not attractive to me that a man gossip like that, it's one thing if she asked. 

I actually love gossiping with my husband--men gossip just as much as women IMO and it can be a great pleasure in a marriage.

[kristen111]

4 minutes ago, Starlight925 said:

Yes, tons of construction, and tons of traffic.  More than ever.

People are moving to Houston in droves.  Home prices are insane.  My friend's new home, purchased last year, is $150K higher today.

And as to where they are coming from....mostly California.

My nephew who has lived in Denver for years is moving to Texas right near Houston.  He said all Californians are moving to Denver too and it’s too over crowded.  He’s bought a new beautiful house for $200,OOO.

[buttersister]

Quote

Actually, I’m surprised he had to go on tv to find a wife.  Women go nuts for firemen.

He lost a bet, didn’t he?

[Rae Spellman]

On 9/8/2021 at 7:04 PM, Kiss my mutt said:

I didn’t understand why Myrla was shading living in an apartment like Gil’s when hers is pretty austere and basic. 

Perhaps she's fine living in her basic apartment but isn't interested in moving to a different equally unimpressive apartment.  

14 hours ago, kristen111 said:

 He will be the sole provider.  She knows her lifestyle will have to change.  

Or, that's an argument for dissolving the marriage. Even if Myla reduces her spending, Gil isn't motivated to earn the money it take to support a wife and two kids in a modest home let alone a wife and seven kids. 

13 hours ago, Rightside said:

Myrla's debt, if any, is very much Gil's business. They are married at this time, which could impact his decision to stay married.

Myrla has savings. If she had debt she could use the savings and forgo the next quarter's shopping trip to pay it off. His lack of savings at age 35 in the city, state, and country they live in could impact her decision. The purpose of an emergency fund is to have it easily available in case of an emergency. Money in another country could be harder to access.

In a previous episode Gil mentioned that he's had 4 long-term relationships. Long-term meaning 6-12 months. Even if he decides to stay married on decision day, his history suggests that he may not be ready to be married a year later. 

10 hours ago, Retired at last said:

Does she go to work that way? Surely there are dress codes. Isn't she a teacher? No way would that be allowed in a school. 

Depends on the school. Maybe not in Texas, but you might be surprised what people do in places where you would expect better. Hopefully, she is more covered up at work though.

9 hours ago, bichonblitz said:

Michaela is a loose cannon. Zack knows it. He must have had a past relationship with a "Michaela" and refused to go down that road again. 

Except that he more or less said that his previous relationships ended because they were Michaelas. Maybe he hoped MAFS would match him with someone different from his usually type. 

[Jeanne222]

1 hour ago, Elizzikra said:

When they were looking at each other's bank accounts, Gil told Myrla that he had "money over there" which didn't make sense to her (or anyone else). Gil then explained that it was in a savings account in Costa Rica so it doesn't show on his bank statement (Costa Rica being "over there").

 

Yes I understood the money over there. I didn’t make my question very clear. Why does Gil have his money in Columbia and not the USA and why couldn’t she see it and how much?  

I think he said he sent all his extra jobs money since he was quite young over there!

I don’t know. I like Gil but something seems a bit off on that one. 

[Rae Spellman]

Just now, Jeanne222 said:

Why does Gil have his money in Columbia and not the USA and why couldn’t she see it and how much?  

I think he said he sent all his extra jobs money since he was quite young over there!

I don’t know. I like Gil but something seems a bit off on that one. 

Right. Is it actually a savings account? How long would it take to access the money if he needed it for an emergency? Where does he put the regular jobs money? The grocery money? He said he valued investing in real estate over buying the things Myrla has in her closet. Where is his real estate? Is it impossible to see the balance of a Columbian bank account on the internet?

[Yeah No]

12 hours ago, Auntie Anxiety said:

I’m calling it right now. Michaela has a borderline personality disorder. Generally, people who have personality disorders don’t think they have a problem and don’t seek help; it’s the people around them who end up seeking help because they cannot deal with the disordered person. Zack realizes that Michaela has emotional problems and that’s not what he signed up for. Her sisters know she has a problem but make it a “cute” thing, referring to her as a hurricane/tornado/I cant remember. A real expert would not have been fooled by how Michaela presented herself at the interviews prior to being chosen for this shitshow.

You really have nailed Michaela here - thank you for bringing this up.  I admit I'm a bit weary of labeling the disorders of the wackos on this show so thank you for doing it for me, LOL.

Oh yeah for sure any real expert would have seen her coming a mile away, but I personally think they love to cast volatile people like her because they amp up the drama.  It's really evil and irresponsible though because these are real people and real lives they're messing with - and they never know when one of these wackos is just crazy enough to snap and hurt themselves or someone else.  They should know that people this far gone are a risk.  And I don't buy that they couldn't see her coming.  I guess they haven't learned their lesson from season 2 and Jessica's restraining order.  It's all about the ratings with them, screw how they hurt people in the process, both emotionally and possibly physically too.

 

[Yeah No]

11 hours ago, Jax7917 said:

Zack keeps saying he’s had confrontational women in the past and it’s a red flag .. maybe the red flag is that you run away at the slightest bit of confrontation ? 🤷🏼‍♀️ 

There is running away from the slightest confrontation and then there is protecting yourself from someone you feel might cause you harm if you engage them, and Zack is doing the latter.  He has accurately assessed Michaela as a potential danger and is steering clear of it, as he should.

[Vanderboom]

18 hours ago, shannew said:

Gil couldn't wait to spill the tea to Myrla.    Not attractive to me that a man gossip like that, it's one thing if she asked. 

I thought that was kinda cute. I'm not married or in a relationship right now, but I think "liking the same sort of gossip" is a key part of compatibility. Then again, if The Experts don't even ask about attitudes toward pets or kids, then they clearly don't really care about compatibility. If anything, maybe they should do a season where family and close friends pick the couples? I'm impressed by the insights at the housewarming conversations, except for Michaela’s friends, who seem to be talking about a different person.

 

18 hours ago, Auntie Anxiety said:

Zack realizes that Michaela has emotional problems and that’s not what he signed up for. Her sisters know she has a problem but make it a “cute” thing, referring to her as a hurricane/tornado/I cant remember. A real expert would not have been fooled by how Michaela presented herself at the interviews prior to being chosen for this shitshow.

Michaela doesn't seem used to accountability. Tearful apologies get forgiveness, but she's not forced to change her behavior. The other guys thought Zack was joking when he said Michaela might kill him, and he probably was, but he's definitely picking up on her rage issues.

 

14 hours ago, Ilovepie said:

@Retired at last

Now this show infuriates me because some are sincere, but they are being matched with people who would be better served by therapy and/or some medical intervention. I do not get any entertainment from seeing these people fucked over by the production company. And I know they signed a contract and if they were smart, they should be aware this is a possibility, but they are legally bound to these assholes. And it just feels like the crazies have been dialed up to eleven the last few seasons. I really wish they would at least try to vet these people better and match some of them for success, but I think we have reached the point of no return in the life cycle of this show........

All of this was going through my head when Gil was talking about how Johnny should trust the experts. Johnny definitely needs to adjust his mindset, but his faith should not be put in people who have a vested interest in creating as much drama as possible.

 

11 hours ago, Starlight925 said:

Johnny would find fault with Cindy Crawford.  Johnny's problem is that he wasn't loved the right way by his own father; he cries every time he mentions him.  So he needs to be wanted and loved, which Bao seems to be doing well.  But Bao doesn't want to shower at the precise moment Johnny wants her to, soooo.....off with her head.  

You're so right about this! I think that on some level, Johnny is looking for wife who will fix all the damage that his relationship his dad has done. For example, he feels his dad criticizes him, so he wants his wife to be adoring. His dad may want him to be more reserved and traditional, so Johnny may want his wife to admire his outgoing-ness. Johnny is so caught up in what Bao isn't that he fails to appreciate all that Bao is.

Edited September 10, 2021 by Vanderboom

[ByTor]

9 hours ago, Elizzikra said:

10 hours ago, ByTor said:

Wasn't it in Colombia?

Oops - sorry!

Oh no need!! I was just making sure I understood where "over there" was. I had no clue what he meant when I saw the show, then someone posted here that it was Colombia, which made sense since that's where his family is.

[kristen111]

5 hours ago, Yeah No said:

You really have nailed Michaela here - thank you for bringing this up.  I admit I'm a bit weary of labeling the disorders of the wackos on this show so thank you for doing it for me, LOL.

Oh yeah for sure any real expert would have seen her coming a mile away, but I personally think they love to cast volatile people like her because they amp up the drama.  It's really evil and irresponsible though because these are real people and real lives they're messing with - and they never know when one of these wackos is just crazy enough to snap and hurt themselves or someone else.  They should know that people this far gone are a risk.  And I don't buy that they couldn't see her coming.  I guess they haven't learned their lesson from season 2 and Jessica's restraining order.  It's all about the ratings with them, screw how they hurt people in the process, both emotionally and possibly physically too.

 

Yep.  It’s all about the money.  People hurting each other.  I’d rather, especially at these times, see a show with couples meeting and getting along.  Having fun vacations, porn food, houses, nice restaurants in different states, trips in this country, etc.  No fighting.  In these times we are having now, we need to see good things.  I have never been so anxious as now with what’s going on in this world.  Enough with the bad stuff.  Let’s relax with some good silly things already.  I’ll get off the soap box now, lol.

[ByTor]

8 hours ago, Rae Spellman said:

If she had debt she could use the savings and forgo the next quarter's shopping trip to pay it off.

That's just it, she said her shopping happens 2-3 times a year. We don't know exactly how much she spends on each of those trips, but I think she's probably doing fine because she's not doing it all the time.

8 hours ago, Rae Spellman said:

Money in another country could be harder to access.

Not to mention usually being a pain on US tax returns.

[kristen111]

15 hours ago, Crashcourse said:

While I appreciate the lack of drama (so far, at least), sometimes I forget that Brett and Ryan are even there. 

Oh, it’s coming.  Watch the preview.

[Booger666]

Honestly asking, what are you all seeing with Mikaela that I’m missing?  The only aggressive thing I remember her doing is slamming down what looked like paper towels when Zach wasn’t in the apartment.  I’m not clear on if Zach texted about the dog day care and when he got home - she seemed genuinely upset and clueless about where he was but I don’t think he’d lie over something like that.  After their fight totally understand not wanting to host a party when things are tense.  Don’t recall seeing or hearing any physical, verbal or emotional abuse coming from Mikaela, but absolutely believe Zach is feeling very anxious around her.  The editing is bizarre.

Johnny and Jose really bug me.  They both are so into wanting someone “on their level”, but when they get partnered with a smart person with opinions and interests of their own they are very disappointed that they don’t get to have their way 100% of the time and aren’t the center of that person’s universe.  Reminds me of Chris without the intentional cruelty of Chris.

[Yeah No]

1 hour ago, Vanderboom said:

You're so right about this! I think that on some level, Johnny is looking for wife who will fix all the damage that his relationship his dad has done. For example, he feels his dad criticizes him, so he wants his wife to be adoring. His dad may want him to be more reserved and traditional, so Johnny may want his wife to admire his outgoing-ness. Johnny is so caught up in what Bao isn't that he fails to appreciate all that Bao is.

Exactly!  But the trouble is that just like abused children can go on to become abusers themselves, Johnny has become just as critical of women as his father was of him or even worse, so no woman will ever admire him enough.  Just as his father concentrates on all of his faults and doesn't appreciate all that he is, he concentrates on all the faults of any woman he ever meets and never appreciates what they are.  And that's why he's never going to meet anyone that lives up to his standards.

I think the reason why Johnny was reduced to tears was that he was presented with just about the most perfect woman for him and yet he still couldn't find her acceptable or warm up to her.  There was no way out, no real excuse that he could make for himself to justify it.  Quibbling about how many showers a day was like picking nits.  I've never heard of anyone actually owning a BIDET, before for chrissakes!  Deep down he knows she was a great match for him and going this far through the process with her made him realize it instead of being able to dismiss her like any other first date, and realize his own lack of readiness.  I just hope he gets help.  Unfortunately this breakthrough may not save their relationship, though.  He has to undergo a lot of therapy before he's ready for a relationship much less marriage. 

[Elizzikra]

Quote

Don’t recall seeing or hearing any physical, verbal or emotional abuse coming from Mikaela

Well, she did call him a "goddamn, motherfuckin liar" during their post-daycare argument... Maybe not abusive but she went from 0 to 60 in less than a second. Also packing all her stuff and moving out the morning after she told him she wouldn't do that, over the same misunderstanding. And her abuse of a tube of Clorox wipes... I think she has a hair-trigger temper and while it's nice that she can apologize about it, I don't think she has the required insight and self control to stop it from happening again.

Edited September 10, 2021 by Elizzikra

[bichonblitz]

11 hours ago, Rae Spellman said:

Except that he more or less said that his previous relationships ended because they were Michaelas. Maybe he hoped MAFS would match him with someone different from his usually type. 

Which evidently they didn't do. 

[karenbrady]

21 hours ago, StatisticalOutlier said:

This really grates because I don't think any female babies emerge from the womb thinking, "I hope nobody sees me before I have a chance to put on some lipstick and a little mascara."  So where does that come from? 

People don't ever say about a man, "He looks sickly.  He needs to do a little sumtin-sumtin, especially at his age." 

My problem with Myrla's looks is that she has those eyelashes that look unnatural, which creates a mismatch when she doesn't have a face full of makeup to go with them.  That mismatch is jarring to me.  And her skin texture is kind of slick, like it's the product of facials or dermabrasion or whatever, which also looks unnatural to me. 

Interesting.  I wonder if that factors into people's harsh judgments. 

Actually, I don't think any babies come out of the womb thinking anything at all. They're babies coming out of the womb.

[Empress1]

1 hour ago, Booger666 said:

Honestly asking, what are you all seeing with Mikaela that I’m missing?  The only aggressive thing I remember her doing is slamming down what looked like paper towels when Zach wasn’t in the apartment.  I’m not clear on if Zach texted about the dog day care and when he got home - she seemed genuinely upset and clueless about where he was but I don’t think he’d lie over something like that.  After their fight totally understand not wanting to host a party when things are tense.  Don’t recall seeing or hearing any physical, verbal or emotional abuse coming from Mikaela, but absolutely believe Zach is feeling very anxious around her.  The editing is bizarre.

The previews have showed her yelling at/rushing producers, slamming doors - I think she’s being held back at one point. 

Also all her sisters have said she has a temper (“Hurricane Kay”) and Michaela has agreed. Like @Elizzikra said, she goes from 0 to 60 pretty fast - packing up and moving out over a pretty minor misunderstanding is a red flag escalation, IMO.

Also, as you say, I think Zach’s reaction to her is telling. He does seem genuinely anxious around her, which is awful - you shouldn’t feel anxious in your own home.

3 hours ago, ByTor said:

That's just it, she said her shopping happens 2-3 times a year. We don't know exactly how much she spends on each of those trips, but I think she's probably doing fine because she's not doing it all the time.

I’d guess thousands based on the brands she buys - at the basest level, a pair of Loubous is like $600 - but if she’s debt-free and is saving for emergencies and retirement, hey.

[Starlight925]

On Unfiltered, Zack said that he had told Mikaela the night before that he was bringing his dog to daycare in the morning.  Apparently, the dogs weren't getting along.  

It's important to note that Zack was the one taking his dog out, not Mikaela's.  She still got to keep her dog at the house.  So, there's Thing 1.

Thing 2: Zack fell asleep in the other bedroom, as he was trying to keep his dog calm, and Mikaela had warned him never to wake her up.  He was laying in bed with his dog, trying to keep his dog from fighting with her dog, while staying quiet.  He fell asleep.  So sue him.

Thing 3:  Zack DID text Mikaela in the morning, once he was gone, to let her know that he did, in fact, bring his dog to daycare.  Mikaela texted him back!  A simple "yes" or something like that, but she did acknowledge it.

Thing 4:  When Zack wasn't home by 9:15 am, Mikaela went nuts.  Packed her bags to move out, slammed the Clorox wipes, started crying.  And yes, all of this behavior is consistent with BPD.  I'm not diagnosing, just observing.

[AussieBabe]

17 hours ago, Jax7917 said:

In regard to Zacks concerns , I do feel that Michaela is bat shit crazy at times And needs to work on her delivery .. but their marriage is so new , he needs to tell her how he feels and then see if she handles a disagreement differently the next time rather than just holding a grudge . 

The thing is, she doesn’t get that his apology style is not to just roll over. She seems to be of the mind that I can act a fool, say sorry, and because she’s over it, the other person needs to be as well. Not quite how that works. He wants to see change. Unfortunately, the preview for next week’s episode show more of the same escalation and profanity laden he has told her makes him anxious. She was demanding that he accept the f’ing apology and basically quit talking about it. The longer trailer from earlier in the season showed her screaming like a feral she-wolf, slamming doors, and even acting a fool in front of other couples. I don’t think it will get better until she addresses the root of her anger and stops using him like an emotional punching bag.

Her family calling her a hurricane and her saying the overreaction was a category three tells me she acknowledges her shit behaviour, but it can and does get worse.

ETA: if she can’t control it when a whole film crew is there, how is she acting privately or when they retire for the night? Something about her has that man scared to even sleep in a separate bedroom. 

Edited September 10, 2021 by AussieBabe

[Racj82]

14 hours ago, Alexander Pope said:

I actually love gossiping with my husband--men gossip just as much as women IMO and it can be a great pleasure in a marriage.

Say it again from the back row. I say this as a man. Every bit of gossip I hear is from other men. All genders are filled with chatty Kathy's.

[Retired at last]

After all the talk about Zack and Michaela's dogs not getting along, now I am wondering if Zack's dog is just sensing what we do in Michaela and the DOG doesn't like her. Dogs are pretty attuned to crazy! And for Zack to have to sleep in another room with his dog to keep him/her from waking Sleeping Beauty, no wonder he went to his own home to get some rest.

[Adeejay]

17 hours ago, Rae Spellman said:

Except that he more or less said that his previous relationships ended because they were Michaelas. Maybe he hoped MAFS would match him with someone different from his usually type. 

Zack was probably hoping he'd get an easy going, chill woman like Vanessa (Atlanta), Christine (Philly) and Karen (NOLA).

Edited September 10, 2021 by Adeejay

[athousandclowns]

18 hours ago, Starlight925 said:

Yes, that's the correct apartment building that they are in.  Starts at around $3K/month for a 1BR/1Bath.  Higher floors + more rooms = higher rent.  My guess is, they're in the $4K+ apartments.

Wonder if the experts thought that putting people in nicer, larger apartments would help with their success.  Giving them a better environment.  That gym sure looked nice.

That building is close to the Med Center, so that's their view.  We saw St. Luke's Tower in one patio scene, and Texas Children's in another.

Johnny would find fault with Cindy Crawford.  Johnny's problem is that he wasn't loved the right way by his own father; he cries every time he mentions him.  So he needs to be wanted and loved, which Bao seems to be doing well.  But Bao doesn't want to shower at the precise moment Johnny wants her to, soooo.....off with her head.  

Johnny is that guy where you'll always be on eggshells, because he'll never truly be happy, and you'll spend your night agonizing.  I was in a marriage with a Johnny.  Key word....was.

The other day I was looking at characteristics of narcissist and found it interesting that it’s more common in men, usually not feeling love or approval from a parent, only caring about their own feelings rarely considering others feelings  plus an exaggerated sense of their own attractiveness. . Hmm raise your hand  Johnny because you ain’t that cute and you best go back to another 100 first  dates. 

[Rambunctiouscurls]

Gil’s saving situation is highly sus. I tend to agree with Judge Judy that if it doesn’t make sense, it is probably a lie. Now I am wondering if his harping on Myrla’a spending her own money has to do with him wanting to spend it on himself.
 

 

[greeneyedscorpio]

3 hours ago, Starlight925 said:

On Unfiltered, Zack said that he had told Mikaela the night before that he was bringing his dog to daycare in the morning.  Apparently, the dogs weren't getting along.  

It's important to note that Zack was the one taking his dog out, not Mikaela's.  She still got to keep her dog at the house.  So, there's Thing 1.

Thing 2: Zack fell asleep in the other bedroom, as he was trying to keep his dog calm, and Mikaela had warned him never to wake her up.  He was laying in bed with his dog, trying to keep his dog from fighting with her dog, while staying quiet.  He fell asleep.  So sue him.

Thing 3:  Zack DID text Mikaela in the morning, once he was gone, to let her know that he did, in fact, bring his dog to daycare.  Mikaela texted him back!  A simple "yes" or something like that, but she did acknowledge it.

Thing 4:  When Zack wasn't home by 9:15 am, Mikaela went nuts.  Packed her bags to move out, slammed the Clorox wipes, started crying.  And yes, all of this behavior is consistent with BPD.  I'm not diagnosing, just observing.

I don't remember her telling him to never wake her up, but to me that is a red flag in itself.  It kind of implies that she'll act out if he does.  I'm NOT a morning person, but I'd never tell anyone to never wake me up.  That's extreme.  And she's supposed to be on her best behavior at this point.  At least I would be. 

I would venture to guess that her abandonment issues aren't just about her father, but that she's been cheated on in the past and that's why she over-reacted when he wasn't home by 9:15.  

[Kiss my mutt]

Imagine being super proud of being called a Hurricane, even going so far as to have categories based how severe your temper is getting? Can you imagine if Zach was the “hurricane” in this situation and Michaela the brunt of it? That wouldn’t fly for a minute and it would be considered abusive behavior. Would they have picked a man who self identified as a hurricane as a possible match? I hope that even the experts and production wouldn’t green light that. What a liability.
Zach has every cause to be concerned as a partner and the possible father of any children they might have if they stayed together which I suspect will not be the case.  

 

[JocelynCavanaugh]

15 minutes ago, greeneyedscorpio said:

I don't remember her telling him to never wake her up, but to me that is a red flag in itself.  It kind of implies that she'll act out if he does.  I'm NOT a morning person, but I'd never tell anyone to never wake me up.  That's extreme.  And she's supposed to be on her best behavior at this point.  At least I would be. 

To build on this, nobody likes to be woken up if they’re trying to sleep! It should be understood that a spouse or housemate will try not to wake someone up unless they’re a total clod or have some kind of neurological difference. If Michaela is making an announcement about this thing that should be obvious, she’s either telegraphing that she thinks Zack is a clod (or non-neurotypical?) or that she thinks she’s super special and her sleep is uniquely important. Either way… yikes. 

[glitterpussy]

8 hours ago, Vanderboom said:

I think that on some level, Johnny is looking for wife who will fix all the damage that his relationship his dad has done.

My take on Johnny is that he is subconciously recreating his father's rejection over and over. He needs to be in a situation where he's running after the woman. With Bao she's all over him, so it's uncomfortable for him. He doesn't know how to receive approval and love. He's a goddamn mess.

Same for Hurricane K. Unbelievable that she just thought some fake tears and eyelash batting would fix it with Zach. He ain't having it. She is so fake. Fake with the other wives, her friends, the experts and her husband. Very scary.

WTF, I liked Myrla this week a little bit?! So she can afford her tacky bougie stuff after all. Fine then. I don't see why she would be lying about credit card debt.  She single, no kids, makes a good living and obviously isn't spending all her money on her apartment...lol. And maybe she's fine with making more and financing the finer things she wants. If Gil doesn't care, then maybe? Her face and hair are so distracting. I get you don't want to wear much makeup and IRL she probably looks ok, but you're on TV! You need it! And that long stringy greasy hair is doing you no favors.

Brett, every week--get a bra.  Those things are lower and lower honey. Ryan looks like Doc Holiday in Tombstone, but instead of TB I think he's just dead inside. He has literally no inflection.

Jose continues to be unbearable.  I'm dying to know why they haven't had sex. And what gives him the idea that his "finances" are something to talk and brag constantly about? His family seemed well over it. Rachel ain't impressed.

[glitterpussy]

5 hours ago, karenbrady said:

People don't ever say about a man, "He looks sickly.  He needs to do a little sumtin-sumtin, especially at his age." 

I'm saying that about Ryan 😂 He's looking rough.

[Booger666]

4 hours ago, Starlight925 said:

On Unfiltered, Zack said that he had told Mikaela the night before that he was bringing his dog to daycare in the morning.  Apparently, the dogs weren't getting along.  

It's important to note that Zack was the one taking his dog out, not Mikaela's.  She still got to keep her dog at the house.  So, there's Thing 1.

Thing 2: Zack fell asleep in the other bedroom, as he was trying to keep his dog calm, and Mikaela had warned him never to wake her up.  He was laying in bed with his dog, trying to keep his dog from fighting with her dog, while staying quiet.  He fell asleep.  So sue him.

Thing 3:  Zack DID text Mikaela in the morning, once he was gone, to let her know that he did, in fact, bring his dog to daycare.  Mikaela texted him back!  A simple "yes" or something like that, but she did acknowledge it.

Thing 4:  When Zack wasn't home by 9:15 am, Mikaela went nuts.  Packed her bags to move out, slammed the Clorox wipes, started crying.  And yes, all of this behavior is consistent with BPD.  I'm not diagnosing, just observing.

This explains a lot, thank you.  Wish this kind of stuff was on the show instead of unfiltered (don’t watch it as I’m not a Jamie fan) because it gives good context as to why Zach is anxious around her.

Edited September 10, 2021 by Booger666