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Scarlett45

S15.E08: Can I Light You Up?

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2 minutes ago, Tuxcat said:

I don't have pity for her and I believe that she needs to take ownership in this situation however, Kody is equally at fault. We've watched for years as Kody played favorites with his wives. Sure they signed up for polygamy but that doesn't give Kody the right to abuse the emotional needs of his wives. He said it himself "I don't feel like meeting the emotional needs of my wives." While his wives have clearly struggled over the years he has done nothing to acknowledge, value and cherish them.

The legal marriage was all that Meri had. When that was ripped away, he did nothing at all to acknowledge the moment. Did they have a spiritual renewal ceremony? No. Instead he had a celebratory hop skip and jump with Robyn on camera.

Meri though at fault, was extraordinarily isolated and vulnerable - easy prey for cat fishing. She was pushing Kody away but only after she had already been pushed away by him.

Oh yeah, 100% agree actually. I would even say that Kody is way more at fault overall because he still isn't ending the relationship either. So he broke her heart, THEN is too cowardly to actually end it, but feels fine leaving her in limbo, which is disgusting. He's perceived as the "head of the family" within polygamy, to boot, so he should be taking more responsibility in general. 

I can even totally understand why Meri did it *at first.* And even the confusion afterward. But like 6 years later?? Still maintaining the lie and still defending polygamy and still staying in this sham of a marriage, whether for TLC paychecks or ego or some misguided affection for Kody? That's where I've just stopped caring. 6 years is too damn long, lol. I've lost patience. I used to think the problem was like 10% Meri, 90% Kody, now it's inching closer and closer to 50/50 from my view.

6 minutes ago, MargeGunderson said:

Meri’s no saint for sure, but If Kody is so disgusted by her and wants nothing to do with her, then he should divorce her. I mean, he’s already done it once legally, why can’t he just walk away from her? There’s no longer any legal entanglements other than the land, since Mariah is over 18. Kody likes to bitch about everything and everyone but never actually does anything to fix a problem. 

Yeah, this is where I think Kody is being his usual cowardly self. The whole "my faith and conscience" BS is just that - BS. He just doesn't want to deal with the fallout of women being "mad" at him or whatever.

Edited by ReadMeLattice
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1 minute ago, ReadMeLattice said:

Oh yeah, 100% agree actually. I would even say that Kody is way more at fault overall because he still isn't ending the relationship either. So he broke her heart, THEN is too cowardly to actually end it, but feels fine leaving her in limbo, which is disgusting. He's perceived as the "head of the family" within polygamy, to boot, so he should be taking more responsibility in general. 

I can even totally understand why Meri did it *at first.* And even the confusion afterward. But like 6 years later?? Still maintaining the lie and still defending polygamy and still staying in this sham of a marriage, whether for TLC paychecks or ego or some misguided affection for Kody? That's where I've just stopped caring. 6 years is too damn long, lol. I've lost patience. 

Agree. He checked out of his marriage to Meri a long time ago. He just didn't leave. Clearly, that's how he chooses to handle things. Don't leave. Don't talk. Just distance and sow hatred.

Yes, way too long... It's all for TV. It's got to be.

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7 minutes ago, MargeGunderson said:

Meri’s no saint for sure, but If Kody is so disgusted by her and wants nothing to do with her, then he should divorce her. I mean, he’s already done it once legally, why can’t he just walk away from her? There’s no longer any legal entanglements other than the land, since Mariah is over 18. Kody likes to bitch about everything and everyone but never actually does anything to fix a problem. 

Kody is paying lip service to the tenets of his religion when he states that under the principals of his faith, he is not allowed to walk away from a wife.  There is nothing stopping a wife from leaving if she chooses to do so.  He clearly laid this out in one of his talking heads.  The ball is in Meri's court and she continues to lob it back to him, hoping for that elusive Grand Slam.

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20 hours ago, SemiCharmedLife said:

However, I don't understand why Kody can't have a discussion with the boys to ask them to make a compromise so he can continue to come and go safely and so that their mom and sister aren't exposed to Covid.

This has been driving me crazy the entire time! Kody should be involved in these discussions with the kids. Go sit in their backyard six feet away and talk to your sons. 

Also, I know this was from the last episode, but Mariah should have called her dad to tell him they were going to the B&B. That's not Merri's job! You're an adult who is engaged to be married, pick up the phone. 

Kody has completely outsourced the raising of his children to his wives, with the exception of Robyn's kids. He's clearly not an active parent.

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How do you think Robyn, Christine and Janelle reacted when they saw this weeks episode? I wonder how they felt watching Kody behave the way he did? They don't care for Meri - so do they celebrate? Or does it cause them to wonder about the man they married? 

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4 hours ago, Elizzikra said:

I really want an episode (or more) on the financial house of cards that is the Brown Family Finances. Someone had said that his name was not on the birth certificates for all of his children and the only reason not to have it on there is so that the family can claim benefits without having him on the hook for financial support. They don't seem to have health insurance either and with that number of family members, that just seems like a financial catastrophe waiting to happen

This is what I'm anxiously waiting for!  

The helicopter spotlight on the F's - Fraudulent Finances and Phony Faith.

If not on this "reality" show, hopefully the gossip rags will take up the slack. There is something so shady about the adults in Brownsville. The arrogance of these  gypsies deserve a public exposure. AUB wants nothing to do with them,18 kids, multiple homes and  bankruptcies . . . c'mon man! None of them are likeable or sympathetic.

This is what keeps me interested, knowing they will eventually be taking a bow after their last act, triggering the real "behind the curtain" show.  There's nothing from Hollywood anymore, no real news, maybe some hungry, enterprising writers are going "Huh?" along with all of us. 

 

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6 hours ago, TurtlePower said:

People shouldn’t  be forgiven unless they’re truly sorry and own up to their wrongdoing. I think it’s wrong in this culture that forgiveness is demanded and expected. Yes, forgive, but don’t do so for “closure” until the other person has honestly understood they have hurt another person. Forgiveness should be earned. 

But even then...sometimes the damage done is simply too big, despite the effort the other puts in it to right their wrongdoings. Some wounds can just never heal.

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1 hour ago, Sandy W said:

Kody is paying lip service to the tenets of his religion when he states that under the principals of his faith, he is not allowed to walk away from a wife.  There is nothing stopping a wife from leaving if she chooses to do so.  He clearly laid this out in one of his talking heads.  The ball is in Meri's court and she continues to lob it back to him, hoping for that elusive Grand Slam.

And yet he has walked away from her but in such a way that he can continue to gaslight and humiliate her. He’s trying to make her push him totally away. If he were really following this so-called religion, he would forgive her and make an effort. But no, he just wants her to go away.

have they given up on Nancy, given that Kody at least doesn't seem to follow any advice?

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11 minutes ago, LilyDutch said:

But even then...sometimes the damage done is simply too big, despite the effort the other puts in it to right their wrongdoings. Some wounds can just never heal.

I don’t think that anything can repair the relationship between Kody and Meri to the point where they actually have a “marriage” in the commonly accepted definition of the word. Imo, even if Meri apologizes and begs for forgiveness, accepts responsibility and kisses Kody’s ass, she’d at best be relegated to the “friend zone” instead of the “cordial/can barely stand you” zone.

I would like to ask Kody what spiritual marriage actually means to him and his faith. In what way, exactly, does he consider himself spiritually married to Meri? Is it only for the afterlife? 

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8 minutes ago, Adiba said:

I don’t think that anything can repair the relationship between Kody and Meri to the point where they actually have a “marriage” in the commonly accepted definition of the word. Imo, even if Meri apologizes and begs for forgiveness, accepts responsibility and kisses Kody’s ass, she’d at best be relegated to the “friend zone” instead of the “cordial/can barely stand you” zone.

I would like to ask Kody what spiritual marriage actually means to him and his faith. In what way, exactly, does he consider himself spiritually married to Meri? Is it only for the afterlife?

If he cared about the afterlife, I don’t think he’d be doing all the blathering about who’s happy or not, and that they might all decide to part ways, etc. Seems liked he’d be making an effort to make things work somehow. But then, he’s Kody.

this whole setup is way too paternalistic for me but IF he’s choosing to live that way he needs to be a wise, kind, and loving leader and protector  not a gaslighting bloviator.

BTW, why do we think Meri isn’t remorseful about the Sam incident? 

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6 hours ago, TurtlePower said:

People shouldn’t  be forgiven unless they’re truly sorry and own up to their wrongdoing. I think it’s wrong in this culture that forgiveness is demanded and expected. Yes, forgive, but don’t do so for “closure” until the other person has honestly understood they have hurt another person. Forgiveness should be earned. 

Meri still blames the catfish even though Meri pursued the relationship even after being warned. She’s still a whiny bully. She doesn’t deserve forgiveness quite yet. 

While some of this may be true I think we need to back up and ask why did Meri do what she did.  She was married to an asshole who treated her the legal wife like shit on his shoe. He and Robyn cooked up the scheme to convince her that he needed to marry Robyn to protect her children. Her reaction is not too far from what a lot of spouses might do in these circumstances. She was looking for love and affection when her husband kicked her to the curb. Did she go about it the wrong way, of course. But this idea that she needs to spend the rest of her life begging for forgivness and groveling at the feet of Kody and Mariah is in my opinion not necessary. I would love to see her sit with Kody and Robyn and say why you think that I went looking for someone else to fulfil my needs? They need look no further than the mirror. Kody is a cruel man and Robyn knows exactly how to manipulate him to get what she wants. 

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49 minutes ago, Tabbygirl521 said:

 

BTW, why do we think Meri isn’t remorseful about the Sam incident? 

IMO, the only remorse she feels is that Sam wasn't for real.  It would have been the ultimate "F you" to Kody and Robyn for knocking her off the throne from which she so ungraciously presided.

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I have a feeling Meri and Kody’s marriage was crap even before Kody spiritually married Janelle, or shortly thereafter.

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11 hours ago, Twopper said:

So he has trouble already with wife  #1 and wife #2 has actually left the family once and returned and he goes on tv to pitch the idea of a normal, polyg family living in perfect harmony and wanting to buy the world a coke??  

Beautifully put! Brava

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7 hours ago, Sandy W said:

Kody is paying lip service to the tenets of his religion

Whenever I see this word used correctly, I think of the Browns and their "tenants" - as if religion were a rennul.

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My theory about Meri----I just ordered a used copy of her "best seller" so that may change my opinion--and Kody.   I think their bumpy marriage has a lot to do with her fertility--or lack thereof.  This assumes she had no major emotional or personality issues when they married.

In a poly culture where having babies is the main function of the women folk, Mary went over five years before producing her only child.  I am sure this took a major toll on her psyche and once Kody started pumping out a dozen children with his other "wives' it was clear the problem was with Meri and not Kody.  This would make Meri very insecure, not to mention envious of Janelle and Christine, and it probably resulted in Kody not really caring what happened to Meri anymore so Meri devoted herself almost entirely to Mariah.  And Janelle had the nerve to have Logan ( firstborn SON )first so Janelle gets bonus Kody points for that despite the fact he married Christine while Janelle was seven months pregnant which shows how much Kody cares about his pregnant wives, and then he courted Robyn while Christine was pregnant with Truely.  This is not a man who cares about his wives.  And he admits that he didn't have the same emotional connection with Robyn during her pregnancy with Ari as he had when she was preggers with Solomon.    Kody admits that he and Meri have had issues for 12  years in a couch session with Nancy that was probably in 2016 so that was around 2004 when Mariah would have been around nine or ten.

I expect Meri to stay around on the show  at least until Mariah and Audrey marry.  Maybe they can go to a sperm bank and get pregnant about the same time from the same donor and give birth to half-sisters. 

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9 hours ago, TurtlePower said:

I love all of this. Additionally, what Meri is doing to Kody is bordering on sexual harassment. He doesn’t want it, she keeps pushing. If it was a man doing this to a woman, everyone would be flipping out. 

Meri is gross and has no sex appeal whatsoever. Add in her shitty personality and we’re left with a fat, self-absorbed bully who won’t accept rejection. 

Yesssss!!! It is sexual harrassment, Kulty was uncomfortable AF during their flashlight dinner, and Meri just kept pushing. 

Meri is as ugly as her personality and I still can't get over the nose. It's just too much. 

She can literally donate some nose to Voldemort and she would STILL have enough.

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9 hours ago, Irate Panda said:

Meri screws the family, Kody hates Meri.  Robyn screws the family, Kody hates everybody but Robyn.  Kody screws the family, Kody hates Christine.  When Christine screws the family.....well, I don’t know besides a few barbs about Robyn that Christine got around to screwing the family because she was dealing with one child almost dying and another one wearing Aisle 11 of the Home Depot on her back for hours at a time.  The only thing Janelle probably screws at this point is the bottle cap off of a 2 liter Pepsi, I mean Plexus, as she’s writing her latest Strive post.

This, in a nutshell!

Great post, all of it.

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21 hours ago, Mothra said:

Until I started watching reality tv, I had never heard of an adult making such a big deal out of a birthday that wasn't some sort of milestone, like 50 or 75.  Adults celebrate their birthdays, if they do at all, by going out to dinner or something, not by wearing little clown hats and buying a cake from the grocery store.

And why doesn't anyone in these families learn how to make a cake, even a cake from a mix?  Is the lard-based neon-colored icing so important?  I think you can buy that stuff in tubes at the store, can't you?  Grocery store cakes are not good.

I never felt anything for Meri (except excitement over wondering which eyebrows she would be sporting at any given time), but now I'm between pity and contempt for her groveling.  I think, no matter what Krusty says, the catfishing episode was what led to the big split.  Of course there was trouble before that--why else would Meri have been looking for love in all the wrong places--but she actually *did* something about it.  It was clear that she was ready to leave Krusty, and he knows it.  His feelings are hurt, but even more his pride as Alpha Male went down the tubes, where it will remain as long as Meri stays with the family.

If she wants Krusty back (yuccch) she ought to start by no longer referring to her emotional adultery as "catfishing," as if the thing most wrong about the episode was that someone tricked *her*.  She is not the victim, and she refuses to acknowledge that.  Jimmy Carter used to say that adultery committed in the heart is just as culpable as adultery committed in the flesh, and I suspect Krusty feels that way, too--hell, I do.

Her attitude ought to be that of the sinner asking--begging--for forgiveness, not of the wronged woman who was tricked into betraying her husband.  No wonder he despises her.

She is the sinner asking God Kody for forgiveness. I believe she has, many times.

18 hours ago, Coldplay said:

Finally an episode that had me not fallen asleep within 10 minutes.

I live for the Meri & Kulty drama- and when he said he is not sure if Meri really still loves him or just clings on to anything or something similar, I was laughing so hard that Mini Coldplay almost woke up.

Meri disgusts me. Her "desperate" attempts to win back Kulty are just so fake. She is not in love with him, she is in love with what they had in the past, her being the First Bitch, bullying Janelle, taking advantage of Christine and sucking up to Robyn to have an ally, THAT'S what she is missing and mourning.

She cheated on Kulty, plain and simple, and humiliated him and the whole family on national TV, so why should he make an effort to stay with her? Why???? If there would be no Sister Knives, he would have divorced her and rightly so. People get divorced for less actually.

I am sick and tired of people defending Meri, who is doing what she does best- playing the victim. Kulty is being cruel to her, no doubt, but it's because Meri is not getting the message in a nicer way.

HE HATES YOU, MERI. HE IS DISGUSTED BY YOU, MERI.

Him just ignoring her texts does not get through Meri's thick leathery skin, so now, after YEARS of him using every tactic to get rid of her, he is just being plain cruel. And still, Meri wants to KISS him. 

That passive aggressive bitch- If I was Kulty, I would have slapped the fuck out of her after she said she wanted to kiss him, maybe THAT would finally get her back to reality.

Side note, if Meri's nose get's any bigger, it needs its own zip code- for real, WTF is wrong with her nose? Is she doing coke or sth? I can see her and Blah Michael having a good time together with that. 

What a trainwreck.

Hi Kody!

18 hours ago, TurtlePower said:

I love all of this. Additionally, what Meri is doing to Kody is bordering on sexual harassment. He doesn’t want it, she keeps pushing. If it was a man doing this to a woman, everyone would be flipping out. 

Meri is gross and has no sex appeal whatsoever. Add in her shitty personality and we’re left with a fat, self-absorbed bully who won’t accept rejection. 

Okay, Sexual harassment? Really??? Wow! 

15 hours ago, Tabbygirl521 said:

And yet he has walked away from her but in such a way that he can continue to gaslight and humiliate her. He’s trying to make her push him totally away. If he were really following this so-called religion, he would forgive her and make an effort. But no, he just wants her to go away.

have they given up on Nancy, given that Kody at least doesn't seem to follow any advice?

He never cared about anyone but himself. When the only one left nagging him is Robin, he will hate her too.

15 hours ago, 65mickey said:

While some of this may be true I think we need to back up and ask why did Meri do what she did.  She was married to an asshole who treated her the legal wife like shit on his shoe. He and Robyn cooked up the scheme to convince her that he needed to marry Robyn to protect her children. Her reaction is not too far from what a lot of spouses might do in these circumstances. She was looking for love and affection when her husband kicked her to the curb. Did she go about it the wrong way, of course. But this idea that she needs to spend the rest of her life begging for forgivness and groveling at the feet of Kody and Mariah is in my opinion not necessary. I would love to see her sit with Kody and Robyn and say why you think that I went looking for someone else to fulfil my needs? They need look no further than the mirror. Kody is a cruel man and Robyn knows exactly how to manipulate him to get what she wants. 

Yeah, this.

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10 hours ago, Irate Panda said:

I think it’s possible for Kody and Meri to both be assholes independent of each other.

Irate Panda, your entire post was a tour de force!  Kudos!

Your opening line sums up what I've been thinking with the current season about these 2:  Kody is terrible, so is Meri.  It doesn't have to be an either/or situation.

I will say, though, that Kody has the advantage (one of many) of having his needs met with 3 other wives if he's struggling with 1.  Meri doesn't have that option, according to polygamous marriage.  Darn, I think I just swayed myself to Meri's "side."

 

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They should do a version of the show for Discovery+ that is just the wives and kids indivually sitting on the couch watching and reacting to the show — WITHOUT KODY. Kind of like 90DF’s Pillow Talk. 

They could call it “Sister Wives: THE RILL DILL.” Bonus points if the show also excluded Robyn!

I’d pay $5 a month for THAT! It would probably take off better than the real show and would definitely be 10000x more interesting.

Separately, despite work from home I have been sucked into some corporate work drama that involves closely working with a couple of company CEOs. I see so many parallels between the Browns and dysfunctional organizations run by narcissistic, tone deaf, totally incompetent leaders. Underlings jockeying for power and backstabbing each other, yes-men/women inflating his ego and making the problem worse, Dark Queens casting their manipulative spells from the side, etc etc. 

Of course, in business there is no love, what drives everything is money. But there seems to be very little love left in the Brown family, sadly. Just a chase for maximum cash now.  Maybe that’s why they just seem like a dysfunctional organization headed by a “leader” with zero leadership skills or empathy whatsoever. Since this family’s lives are boring AF, if anything at least were getting a fascinating study in organizational behavior? 🤷‍♂️ 

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On 4/5/2021 at 12:25 PM, NotinKansasanymore said:

Kody: "I want wives that get along with each other, and like each other, and who don't sit there and say snotty little *bleep* things to each other that breaks the other's heart."

There has to be so much going on in this family that they are not airing. So if you guys had to guess which wives are saying snotty things to the other and about what?

I think some of it was Meri/Maddie blowup, which I think pissed off Janelle and Kody. I mean had Meri even met Maddie's daughter yet?

I think Meri is talking crap about the other three.

I think Christine has said things to Robyn, and Robyn has gone crying to Kody, that what is being said, "breaks her heart."

I really think Robyn claims to the peacemaker, but then goes back and tells Kody that she is feeling bullied by Meri, or tells Kody something Christine said about why she doesn't want to live in one house, and she just stirs the pot, by playing victim, and gets Kody riled up so that he is angry at the other wives.

This

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1 hour ago, CouchTater said:

Irate Panda, your entire post was a tour de force!  Kudos!

Your opening line sums up what I've been thinking with the current season about these 2:  Kody is terrible, so is Meri.  It doesn't have to be an either/or situation.

I will say, though, that Kody has the advantage (one of many) of having his needs met with 3 other wives if he's struggling with 1.  Meri doesn't have that option, according to polygamous marriage.  Darn, I think I just swayed myself to Meri's "side."

 

I lean towards Meri’s side slightly in that hell I’ve seen her be nice to Mosby lol.  Her basic “Fuck you, pay me” during that one Zoom call while she basically ignored everyone while petting Mosby was about the only time I liked her.  I’m not sure I’ve ever like Kody.  I didn’t actively hate him either.   It’s like he’s not happy unless he’s causing chaos and she’s not happy unless they’re miserable.  I do wonder what their marriage was like before Janelle came along.

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For those who don't go on Reddit, there's a posted named PinkMonkeySlippers who posts hilarious parody voice-overs for some of the Sister Wives scenes.  Here's a link to the latest, which is brilliant:  

 

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Also, it is my 25th anniversary this year and if my husband takes me to some dingy cold lot on the side of the highway and hands me a Chipotle Burrito (or whatever they had)....heads will roll. Or A HEAD will roll. Covid or not!

Edited by Lamima
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 He said it himself "I don't feel like meeting the emotional needs of my wives."

This is bewildering to me. I don't think that any single relationship, including a marriage, should be the sole source of emotional support, but why would anyone have any sort of relationship with another person if it didn't meet some emotional need? Isn't that the whole purpose of relationships - romantic or otherwise?

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14 hours ago, Irate Panda said:

 Meri screws the family, Kody hates Meri.  Robyn screws the family, Kody hates everybody but Robyn.  Kody screws the family, Kody hates Christine.  When Christine screws the family.....well, I don’t know besides a few barbs about Robyn that Christine got around to screwing the family because she was dealing with one child almost dying and another one wearing Aisle 11 of the Home Depot on her back for hours at a time.  The only thing Janelle probably screws at this point is the bottle cap off of a 2 liter Pepsi, I mean Plexus, as she’s writing her latest Strive post.

You win this board for today and many weeks! Much love for this description.

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2 hours ago, laurakaye said:

I can't ever seem to get my head around if what Meri did was considered cheating when she was officially divorced from a man that clearly wanted nothing to do with her and had found himself a shiny new playtoy with long legs to keep him company.

I'm with you LK, enjoying deep-diving into the psyches of these psychos. (as a wannabe, shout out to onceafan, for the professional takes!) Understanding Brown behavior is like a three tiered chess game wearing a blindfold in a tornado. 

Does Meri relinquishing her legal wife status automatically shift her to a spiritual wife? How would one be removed from being a "spiritual wife"? Can one be a "spiritual wife" without a spiritual ceremony and new dress? Will Kody be stuck with Meri for eternity (🤣)? Does a plyg divorce clean the eternity slate? If Kody successfully bullies, demeans and breaks Meri into physically leaving the "family", will she also be gone from Kody's celestial death planet?

Where can I find the plyg rulebook. So many questions . . .

I know these guys are accomplished grifters, but unless they have grifted their adult life out of paying taxes and social security, Meri, as a legal wife, will be able to link her spiritual wife status to Kody's future social security. 🤣😂🤣

 

 

Edited by itsadryheat
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@laurakaye--excellent post regarding the Mer/Kody conundrum. This is the way I have been feeling for years about their relationship (at least as shown on the show)--when I criticize Kody, it doesn't mean that I think Meri is not at fault or is even a pleasant person to be around, generally. When I think that Meri is a victim of polygamy, a crappy marriage and of being catfished (i.e., definition of "catfished" meaning that she was fooled into thinking someone was who they weren't)--it doesn't mean she bears no responsibility for her actions or that what she did was OK. Yes, she was wrong to pursue a relationship outside of her spiritual marriage. Would she be wrong in my eyes to have left Kody before that--no.

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5 hours ago, Lamima said:

Also, it is my 25th anniversary this year and if my husband takes me to some dingy cold lot on the side of the highway and hands me a Chipotle Burrito (or whatever they had)....heads will roll. Or A HEAD will roll. Covid or not!

Congrats!!! it is our 35th in May and we will not be celebrating it at a rest stop on the interstate.   We will probably have to order something and pick it up to eat at home.  This will be our second COVID anniversary.  Sigh.....

 

1 hour ago, itsadryheat said:

Where can I find the plyg rulebook. So many questions . . .

I am curious, but Christine says there are so many different configurations of plural marriage, that I guess they make it up as they go.  He claimed after marrying Robochin that he was still married to Meri and since they were no longer legally married, I took that to mean they were still in a "spiritual marriage." 

I think the divorce was the straw that broke Meri's back in her marriage to Kody, and the resulting  catfishery was the straw that broke Kody's.  The divorce was at least as humiliating for Meri as was the catfish for Kody. 

I still think Robyn's marriage rocked more than just Meri's boat.  If Kody had been smart, he could have calmed the waters at least a little by divorcing Robyn immediately after the adoption and made all four women "spiritual wives."   When Aspen was getting married, there is a scene where Christine is lamenting that she never had a legal marriage and is the only one of the four women who was never ever married.

 

Edited by Twopper
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16 minutes ago, Twopper said:

The divorce was at least as humiliating for Meri as was the catfish for Kody.

And there you have it - the reason these two will never truly apologize to each other.  Kody humiliated Meri on national television, but she was not supposed to humiliate him in return.  We know from season one that the worst thing in Kody's eyes would be if any of his wives took another husband.  Meri messed up Kody's plan - she was supposed to pine and long for Kody for the rest of her life, she was not supposed to find a replacement for him like he did to her.

And by now, these people cannot seriously still believe that the wives will all inhabit Planet Kody for eternity.  Why would Meri or Christine want to spend infinity with a man who loathes the sight of them?  Why would he want them there?  Let's be rill, all Kody wants on his planet is Robyn circa 2010, her closet full of VS teddies, and a room of his own to hide in when he gets tired of her.

 

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On 4/5/2021 at 4:29 PM, NoWhammies said:

Yes. Gabe, Ysabel,  Gwyn, and Aurora are all old enough to have been massively jerked around by two moves with almost no discernable reason, and that has to be unbearable for them. ETA actually a 3rd move for Aurora because she also was yanked from St. George to Lehi.

I feel that this age group of the kids and older kids must know what is filmed and probably have the hardest time knowing the family problems (Meri & Kody no sex, etc..).  They can now understand what a jerkoff their dad is and how messed up this whole family dynamic is. No wonder all the older kids go running as fast as they can.

18 minutes ago, laurakaye said:

 Meri messed up Kody's plan - she was supposed to pine and long for Kody for the rest of her life, she was not supposed to find a replacement for him like he did to her.

 

 

But Meri brought Robyn into the family...Isn't that a kick in the ass?

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5 hours ago, CouchTater said:

For those who don't go on Reddit, there's a posted named PinkMonkeySlippers who posts hilarious parody voice-overs for some of the Sister Wives scenes.  Here's a link to the latest, which is brilliant:  

 

That is hilarious & the parts she picked out are exactly the things I found most odd.  I wonder what Meri fills when he touches her hand.  I would expect a whole lot of nothing, but perhaps she gets hot and bothered.

Edited by deirdra
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Kootie should have planned to legally marry each wife for 10 years and a day so they can all collect his full Social Security and bleed the beast royally. Christine would have just finished her 10 years by now and he'd be on to Robyn.

Edited by deirdra
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18 minutes ago, deirdra said:

That is hilarious & the parts she picked out are exactly the things I found most odd.  I wonder what Meri fills when he touches her hand.  I would expect a whole lot of nothing, but perhaps she gets hot and bothered.

The line at the end about the trees is so hilarious.   I am so DEAD. 

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On 4/6/2021 at 10:08 AM, MargeGunderson said:

I doubt he even pays them child support. I think they’ve said before that they divvy up the money between the 5 adults equally. I bet that Kody keeps his share for himself (and Robyn) and doesn’t pay a dime for the kids because that’s their mom’s responsibility. 

 

On 4/6/2021 at 10:20 AM, eskimo said:

If this is true then Janelle looks to be the one that might have a little something left later on.  She's not blowing it all on her housing budget.  If Meri were smart she'd have done the same.  With no kids at home she could be socking away a lot of money for the future, but she want's a big, expensive, empty house for some reason. 

A few thoughts on their finances over the years:

Before the show happened, the Original 3 shared a tri-plex. Their finances seemed to be very co-mingled, in the sense that they shared one home and two or three members worked outside the home to provide for everyone. After paying for their shelter, transportation and certain other fixed costs, each wife was given an equal allotment to pay for things she needed for herself and her household. This of course was unequal, as Meri had 1/6 the children of Janelle and Christine, but the squeakiest wife got the grease, so to speak.

Then Robyn came into the picture. The fambly paid to put her up in a duplex or something nearby, so she and Kody could properly court. Of course the show was up and running at that point and Robyn likely wanted to "keep sweet" and was happy for whatever money came her way (and that her VS bill was paid). 

When they moved to Vegas, all four wives and their respective families were put up in similar sized rentals, including Meri and her one child, to the annoyance of the other wives. They would only care about this if the money were coming out a joint pool. I remember an offhanded comment from Janelle at that time that she had decided to put the inequity out of her head, (paraphrasing): "Whatever, Meri can do what she wants."

Then they built the McMansions, with Meri's being over-budget, of course. Over the next couple years, Robyn's yard was improved, as well as the area between Meri's and Robyn's, (under the ruse of for their commitment celebration, I believe) while the others largely remained dusty messes. Christine negotiated with Kody the turning of her garage into a wrestling gym for more grocery money, a clue that each wife was still getting itemized budgets, probably in equal amounts, for their respective households. Robyn's fridge door was also spotted with the infamous warning about nobody taking any food out without asking her or Mindy first. (I'm sure at that time, Christine and Janelle's fridge were a free-for-all.)

Cut to the move to Flagstaff and the inequality between wives homes is staggering. Meri insists on renting an enormous, impractical, tacky show home for just herself, Christine must buy in order to keep her cat, Janelle does her dutiful wife bit by choosing a modest, dated rental and Robyn ends up in not one but two mansions, because she has 5 kids, even though Janelle and Christine made do in a tri-plex with 6 kids each.  At this point, all earlier attempts to appear equal have completely flown out the window. Janelle's rental easily costs half of Robyn's mansion. And I bet housing costs still come out of the joint pool before any money is allocated to the wives for other expenses. That would explain Robyn unabashedly getting the most and the continued obvious deep disdain for Meri, that she refuses to act in the best interests of the family, needing at least as much as Legal Wife, regardless of how it takes from the other members of the family.

So, I don't think each wife has a housing budget. I think housing comes out of the joint pool before the wives get their allotments. I think it's the only way Kody can give Robyn the most, and Meri knows this and exploits it for her own benefit, as well as to stick it to Kody and Robyn, at the expense of the rest of the family. Whether it's because she hates the family, or feels it's owed to her, or needs bedrooms for spirit babies or whatever, she does it because she can. As for Robyn, I'm sure it's easily justified by Kody ("The other kids all get their own rooms, why can't Robyn's kids have the same?" etc), and Christine and Janelle are used to be dutiful and acting in the best interests of the family, whether by choice or force. 

Table scraps, indeed. 

They did mention having other family budgets for weddings, college, etc, which Meri raided to get her "fair share" for More-iah, starting with Westminster College, then Loyola, now Utah State, I believe. Not to mention the upcoming wedding, if any of it is paid out of pocket by the Browns. In this respect, I can't see there being as much for the littles as there was for the older kids, but only time will tell how long this show will go on for. 

Edited by Thistle Howl
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27 minutes ago, Thistle Howl said:

 

A few thoughts on their finances over the years:

Before the show happened, the Original 3 shared a tri-plex. Their finances seemed to be very co-mingled, in the sense that they shared one home and two or three members worked outside the home to provide for everyone. After paying for their shelter, transportation and certain other fixed costs, each wife was given an equal allotment to pay for things she needed for herself and her household. This of course was unequal, as Meri had 1/6 the children of Janelle and Christine, but the squeakiest wife got the grease, so to speak.

Then Robyn came into the picture. The fambly paid to put her up in a duplex or something nearby, so she and Kody could properly court. Of course the show was up and running at that point and Robyn likely wanted to "keep sweet" and was happy for whatever money came her way (and that her VS bill was paid). 

When they moved to Vegas, all four wives and their respective families were put up in similar sized rentals, including Meri and her one child, to the annoyance of the other wives. They would only care about this if the money were coming out a joint pool. I remember an offhanded comment from Janelle at that time that she had decided to put the inequity out of her head, (paraphrasing): "Whatever, Meri can do what she wants."

Then they built the McMansions, with Meri's being over-budget, of course. Over the next couple years, Robyn's yard was improved, as well as the area between Meri's and Robyn's, (under the ruse of for their commitment celebration, I believe) while the others largely remained dusty messes. Christine negotiated with Kody the turning of her garage into a wrestling gym for more grocery money, a clue that each wife was still getting itemized budgets, probably in equal amounts, for their respective households. Robyn's fridge door was also spotted with the infamous warning about nobody taking any food out without asking her or Mindy first. (I'm sure at that time, Christine and Janelle's fridge were a free-for-all.)

Cut to the move to Flagstaff and the inequality between wives homes is staggering. Meri insists on renting an enormous, impractical, tacky show home for just herself, Christine must buy in order to keep her cat, Janelle does her dutiful wife bit by choosing a modest, dated rental and Robyn ends up in not one but two mansions, because she has 5 kids, even though Janelle and Christine made do in a tri-plex with 6 kids each.  At this point, all earlier attempts to appear equal have completely flown out the window. Janelle's rental easily costs half of Robyn's mansion. And I bet housing costs still come out of the joint pool before any money is allocated to the wives for other expenses. That would explain Robyn unabashedly getting the most and the continued obvious deep disdain for Meri, that she refuses to act in the best interests of the family, needing at least as much as Legal Wife, regardless of how it takes from the other members of the family.

So, I don't think each wife has a housing budget. I think housing comes out of the joint pool before the wives get their allotments. I think it's the only way Kody can give Robyn the most, and Meri knows this and exploits it for her own benefit, as well as to stick it to Kody and Robyn, at the expense of the rest of the family. Whether it's because she hates the family, or feels it's owed to her, or needs bedrooms for spirit babies or whatever, she does it because she can. As for Robyn, I'm sure it's easily justified by Kody ("The other kids all get their own rooms, why can't Robyn's kids have the same?" etc), and Christine and Janelle are used to be dutiful and acting in the best interests of the family, whether by choice or force. 

Table scraps, indeed. 

They did mention having other family budgets for weddings, college, etc, which Meri raided to get her "fair share" for More-iah, starting with Westminster College, then Loyola, now Utah State, I believe. Not to mention the upcoming wedding, if any of it is paid out of pocket by the Browns. In this respect, I can't see there being as much for the littles as there was for the older kids, but only time will tell how long this show will go on for. 

I still argue that they should get equal allotments from show money and family budget. I know people say Meri is selfish for not taking a lesser allotment but the other women chose to continue having children knowing that allotment would not increase. That was their choice to continually pop out Kody's babies and divide the spoils.

And what becomes of the extra shill money that the wives make from social media/businesses. Meri by far has done the most work to get her businesses up and running and she still has the most social media followers which will bring in the most revenue. 

I wonder if a percentage of their "extra" income goes into the family pot.

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3 hours ago, itsadryheat said:

Understanding Brown behavior is like a three tiered chess game wearing a blindfold in a tornado. 

Does Meri relinquishing her legal wife status automatically shift her to a spiritual wife? How would one be removed from being a "spiritual wife"? Can one be a "spiritual wife" without a spiritual ceremony and new dress? Will Kody be stuck with Meri for eternity (🤣)? Does a plyg divorce clean the eternity slate? If Kody successfully bullies, demeans and breaks Meri into physically leaving the "family", will she also be gone from Kody's celestial death planet?

Where can I find the plyg rulebook Kody rulebook on holy Kody matrimony + 1,000 amendments  So many questions . . .

I know these guys are accomplished grifters, but unless they have grifted their adult life out of paying taxes and social security, Meri, as a legal wife, will be able to link her spiritual wife status to Kody's future social security. 🤣😂🤣

Here, fixed that for you 😉 

 

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2 hours ago, deirdra said:

Kootie should have planned to legally marry each wife for 10 years and a day so they can all collect his full Social Security and bleed the beast royally. Christine would have just finished her 10 years by now and he'd be on to Robyn.

I wonder if he even has 40 quarters to qualify for SS.

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21 hours ago, Irate Panda said:

I think it’s possible for Kody and Meri to both be assholes independent of each other.  I agree I don’t think Kody and Meri ever had a good marriage.  I really don’t know the logistics of being a good polygamist, but it seems to be the opposite of whatever Kody does.  With that said, I think Meri treated most people except Kody like shit in the family, at least at the beginning.  They both seem like awful people, who occasionally might be right in their assessments of each other.  They were both selfish and immature.

This 100%. I think Nancy hit the nail on the head when she said “you are both exceptionally controlling people.” Bingo. Do I think Meri is overall less at fault in this particular scenario because of the ridiculous setup of their relationship? Yes. But do I think Meri sucks and would probably suck outside of this context too? Also yes. 
 

I also have to say I felt slightly bad for Mariah in some ways re: the catfish thing. She has a really annoying, pushy way of expressing herself (and she seems very much over the catfish thing now, it’s not like she brings it up), so I get why it seemed bratty at the time. But if I was a teen, which I believe she was at the time — who was only on a reality show about polygamy because my parents insisted they become famous for it — and came home to visit my mom during the summer in college and she was clearly flirting with and sexting a catfish, and then she BROUGHT ME to meet the catfish in person at Disneyland after I warned her repeatedly it was a catfish, I would have been a little vexed too.  

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11 hours ago, CouchTater said:

For those who don't go on Reddit, there's a posted named PinkMonkeySlippers who posts hilarious parody voice-overs for some of the Sister Wives scenes.  Here's a link to the latest, which is brilliant:  

 

These are the best!

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A few thoughts on their finances over the years:

I can sort of see various sides of their budget issues. I can understand that Meri, who had only one child (not, it seems, by choice but because she experienced secondary infertility), would not find it fair to live in say, an efficiency apartment while whichever wife has the most children lives in a gigantic home, and particularly a gigantic, luxury home. I thought that the Vegas homes seemed most equitable in that they were in the same neighborhood (obviously) so they were equally "nice," even though it meant that Meri had more empty rooms and the other wives had their space pretty fully. It seems that reasonable people could find a happy medium where everyone has similar "quality" of housing.

I wasn't watching when Christine had to negotiate for a higher grocery budget, but that is repugnant to me. Feeding your children is a basic parental responsibility. What would make more sense to me would be to allocate a certain amount per person for the food budget, or if you were willing to be a little more complicated, allocate more for older children than younger. A plural family that really worked well together would also be able to pool resources to buy in bulk, which they seem to have done by purchasing an entire cow from Kody's family farm, but it seems like there are many more economies of scale that they could have employed if they put some thought into it. 

Even more interesting to me, however, beyond the budgeting of money is the income and debt. What, if anything, constitutes their income besides the show (and Meri's Lularoe/Janelle's Strive)? Do they have health insurance and if so, through what mechanism? How much debt are they carrying and who on earth is still willing to lend these people money? I honestly can't figure out how they pay the weekly grocery bill or have available cash/credit to gas up the cars. I can't even imagine what their tax returns look like.

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6 hours ago, laurakaye said:

And there you have it - the reason these two will never truly apologize to each other.  Kody humiliated Meri on national television, but she was not supposed to humiliate him in return.  We know from season one that the worst thing in Kody's eyes would be if any of his wives took another husband.  Meri messed up Kody's plan - she was supposed to pine and long for Kody for the rest of her life, she was not supposed to find a replacement for him like he did to her.

I think Meri humiliated him a second time on tv by not needing his money to buy the BandB.   Obviously, this was not nearly as bad as the catfishery, but I think Kody was seriously angry about this and was embarrassed about it.  I think that is another situation with Meri that he wished was never filmed. 

 

5 hours ago, Thistle Howl said:

They did mention having other family budgets for weddings, college, etc, which Meri raided to get her "fair share" for More-iah, starting with Westminster College, then Loyola, now Utah State, I believe. Not to mention the upcoming wedding, if any of it is paid out of pocket by the Browns. In this respect, I can't see there being as much for the littles as there was for the older kids, but only time will tell how long this show will go on for. 

I guess if they film Mariah's nuptials that wherever they hold it will comp them the venue fee and TLC will pay for much of it.  I have just watched Maddie's wedding and now I am in the planning for Taco and Mykelti's outdoorsy winter wedding.   I think in Maddie's case, they probably got the venue for free or very cheap, they made visits to the florist, caterer, and bakery so they probably got some or all of that for free.  And the bridal shop probably gave her the dress at cost or below because it was shown. 

I don't see a lot of weddings in their immediate future.  I am sure it will be several years before Aurora, Gwen, or Ysabel get married.  Logan is still living with his girl friend as far as I know,  Aspen, Maddie and Mykelti are married, and Mariah is engaged.  I think Paedon and Hunter are next followed by Garrison who is 22 or 23.   Nothing has been said indicating any of the last 3 have a love interest.

As for college, Kody seems to have capitulated on the student loan option.  I would bet both Audrey and Mariah have student loan debt.   I just don't see how the adults with the possible exception of Meri survive without this show.  I just don't.

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8 hours ago, Twopper said:

Congrats!!! it is our 35th in May and we will not be celebrating it at a rest stop on the interstate.   We will probably have to order something and pick it up to eat at home.  This will be our second COVID anniversary.  Sigh.....

 

I am curious, but Christine says there are so many different configurations of plural marriage, that I guess they make it up as they go.  He claimed after marrying Robochin that he was still married to Meri and since they were no longer legally married, I took that to mean they were still in a "spiritual marriage." 

I think the divorce was the straw that broke Meri's back in her marriage to Kody, and the resulting  catfishery was the straw that broke Kody's.  The divorce was at least as humiliating for Meri as was the catfish for Kody. 

I still think Robyn's marriage rocked more than just Meri's boat.  If Kody had been smart, he could have calmed the waters at least a little by divorcing Robyn immediately after the adoption and made all four women "spiritual wives."   When Aspen was getting married, there is a scene where Christine is lamenting that she never had a legal marriage and is the only one of the four women who was never ever married.

 

Remember when they Meri and Robyn told Christine and Janelle? J got up and left.  The next day Kody and camera crew visited her. He was trying to tell her everything would stay the same. She said something to the effect of *you're not going to ride off into the sunset with Robyn?"

I think Janelle knew exactly what it meant. 

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I just watched the very first few episodes from season 1. And I absolutely think the Robyn marriage busted everything apart. 

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44 minutes ago, Lamima said:

I just watched the very first few episodes from season 1. And I absolutely think the Robyn marriage busted everything apart. 

Upon rewatching those early seasons - It's so obvious now that Meri brought Robyn into the family in an effort to rekindle her own closeness to Kody. Essentially Meri gave the gift of Robyn to her husband. "Look what I am doing for you!" Because Robyn and Meri was so incredibly close, this plan actually worked for a while. Kody and Meri had returned to a good place - for a while.

It's interesting to hear Meri talk about how she longed for close, loving, sister wives back then. She was so grateful to have found that closeness with Robyn. She was very close with Robyn's kids.  Robyn gave Meri a renewed place in the family. Before this, Meri was already isolated as the mean one. Robyn provided the "in" that Meri longed for.

But as time went on Robyn went on to form closer bonds with Christine and Aspyn, Mykelti, Maddie... effectively shutting Meri out again. As for Kody, he favors whomever is the happiest in polygamy. When Robyn loves a wife and has a good relationship with them... Kody favors them too.

Kody's statement regarding "I want sister wives that aren't cruel and don't break anothers hearts..." ----very revealing.

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23 minutes ago, Tuxcat said:

Upon rewatching those early seasons - It's so obvious now that Meri brought Robyn into the family in an effort to rekindle her own closeness to Kody. Essentially Meri gave the gift of Robyn to her husband. "Look what I am doing for you!" Because Robyn and Meri was so incredibly close, this plan actually worked for a while. Kody and Meri had returned to a good place - for a while.

It's interesting to hear Meri talk about how she longed for close, loving, sister wives back then. She was so grateful to have found that closeness with Robyn. She was very close with Robyn's kids.  Robyn gave Meri a renewed place in the family. Before this, Meri was already isolated as the mean one. Robyn provided the "in" that Meri longed for.

But as time went on Robyn went on to form closer bonds with Christine and Aspyn, Mykelti, Maddie... effectively shutting Meri out again. As for Kody, he favors whomever is the happiest in polygamy. When Robyn loves a wife and has a good relationship with them... Kody favors them too.

Kody's statement regarding "I want sister wives that aren't cruel and don't break anothers hearts..." ----very revealing.

The whole concept makes me want to throw up.

I am fascinated by the machinations that go on in these relationships.  After watching this group in action, if I had been raised or was considering adopting this principal, I would keep listening until I heard another "Calling".

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