S01.E03: Everybody Needs a Switzerland

[howiveaddict]

I don't wear heels, so I really don't know, but is it a thing to wear strappy stiletto sandals in the snow?   While they are attractive, I doubt they would be once you got frost bite and your toes turned black.  Need the over the show galoshes things like our grandmas wore.  

[Bridget]

15 hours ago, Legalbeagle421 said:

She’s an actress. It’s been awhile since I’ve seen Lucas (wasn’t even born when it came out but love a good 80s movie 😂), but I think she played Charlie Sheen’s girlfriend/the person Lucas pines over. A poster above compared the scene of brooks making his almond milk sans lid to a scene from Lucas.

@geauxaway and @Legalbeagle421

Kerri Green also played Andy (Brand's girlfriend) in "The Goonies."

Random fun fact: I saw Josh Brolin and DIane Lane (when they were dating) at the movies in LA. It took everything in me not to walk up and say: "Heeeeeey, you guyyyyyyyys!" and ask for a photo, but it's easy to tell when celebs want to blend in and stay under the radar. He definitely didn't want to be noticed, but he did engage in the obligatory head nod and "thank you for not announcing I'm here to anyone else" smile. Can't hate on him for that!

 

Edited November 27, 2020 by Bridget

[heatherchandler]

32 minutes ago, Bridget said:

@geauxaway and @Legalbeagle421

Kerri Green also played Andy (Brand's girlfriend) in "The Goonies."

ANDY!!!  YOU GOONIE!!!!

[pasdetrois]

Heather: at some point, whining endlessly about how you suffered just evolves into...narcissism. Shut up.

If it weren't for the steal-money-from-parishioners thing, I'd feel sorry for Mary.

Whitney's dad is clearly struggling, and I feel sorry for him. (Hope we don't find out he is an utter douche.)

Jen is trying to be SLC's Erika Jayne. And failing badly. All that shrieking and flailing about while sporting a pound of makeup, five pounds of hair, and 10 pounds of ugly attire.

Brooks and his sister are giving the bratty housewives a run for their snobby money.

Several years ago there was a short-lived reality series on the SLC Ballet. I think I first heard Mormon 2.0 then.

ETA: I see what you did there geauxaway ("Nick Satan") Roll Tide!

Edited November 27, 2020 by pasdetrois

[NYCFree]

Did anyone notice the fluffier guy Jen had while wearing the costume dress? He trailed behind her and kept basically flouncing her train. He even came into the party with her, even though he wasn’t at all dressed for the party.

I think Mary’s odd marriage is more odd than any other housewife marriage because it is incest adjacent. Incest is one of the most primary taboos and goes across so many cultures. It’s so widespread that when a strata of culture, such as Hawaiian or Egyptian royalty, doesn’t have the taboo, it is really notable. Her husband was essentially her grandfather throughout her childhood and that activates a kind of primal repulsion from me.

[Keywestclubkid]

2 hours ago, NYCFree said:

Did anyone notice the fluffier guy Jen had while wearing the costume dress? He trailed behind her and kept basically flouncing her train. He even came into the party with her, even though he wasn’t at all dressed for the party.

I think Mary’s odd marriage is more odd than any other housewife marriage because it is incest adjacent. Incest is one of the most primary taboos and goes across so many cultures. It’s so widespread that when a strata of culture, such as Hawaiian or Egyptian royalty, doesn’t have the taboo, it is really notable. Her husband was essentially her grandfather throughout her childhood and that activates a kind of primal repulsion from me.

And add to the fact her mother and her fought over who would marry him is ick .. they weren’t married for love( not taking into account that he was her grandfather for all intents and purpose) at all 

Edited November 27, 2020 by Keywestclubkid

[Slakkie]

I am really trying to like these ladies but I have to wonder what cluster was going on to fire the production team and start over.  I do not even know or care about these ladies enough yet to care about them fighting with each other.  And if the storyline is going to be drinking in Utah WHERE THEY ARE FULL OF MORMONS I am outta here.  Listening to women scream at each other that I cannot tell apart is not keeping me watching.

I can watch Christina on the Coast making ugly kitchens.

[Showthyme]

5 hours ago, Slakkie said:

I am really trying to like these ladies but I have to wonder what cluster was going on to fire the production team and start over.  I do not even know or care about these ladies enough yet to care about them fighting with each other.  And if the storyline is going to be drinking in Utah WHERE THEY ARE FULL OF MORMONS I am outta here.  Listening to women scream at each other that I cannot tell apart is not keeping me watching.

I can watch Christina on the Coast making ugly kitchens.

On a side note...Christina Amstead would make a good Tamra replacement on RHOC. 
 

The Howives in the SLC franchise seem so fake trying to act the a housewife instead of being one. Heels on the snow? No one does that.

[Starlight925]

Every Mormon I've known is what you think of when you think of a Mormon:  very churchgoing, family oriented, quiet, abstainer of all things alcohol, caffeine, and tobacco-related, and in general, just really nice people.  I took piano from the Mormon family down the street growing up, and I've worked with several Mormons in a professional capacity.  Not once, even remotely, have I met one who behaves like any of these women.

Re:  Mary and her step-grandfather's relationship:  yes, incest-adjacent.  Woody Allen territory.  One of my favorite movies of all time is "Hannah and Her Sisters", where Woody's now wife Soon-Yi, was in the film as a then 9-year old daughter of Hannah (Mia Farrow).  To think that he directed this little girl in this film, lived with her, probably helped bathe her, then....married her....I thought I had heard it all.  And now, Mary is being thrust in our faces with a similar situation.  It's all just so.....yuck.

[Diane Mars]

On 11/27/2020 at 5:08 PM, pasdetrois said:

...

Several years ago there was a short-lived reality series on the SLC Ballet. I think I first heard Mormon 2.0 then.

...

 

Breaking Pointes ! I LOVED this show ❤️ ❤️ ❤️

[NYCFree]

6 hours ago, Starlight925 said:

Every Mormon I've known is what you think of when you think of a Mormon:  very churchgoing, family oriented, quiet, abstainer of all things alcohol, caffeine, and tobacco-related, and in general, just really nice people.  I took piano from the Mormon family down the street growing up, and I've worked with several Mormons in a professional capacity.  Not once, even remotely, have I met one who behaves like any of these women.

Re:  Mary and her step-grandfather's relationship:  yes, incest-adjacent.  Woody Allen territory.  One of my favorite movies of all time is "Hannah and Her Sisters", where Woody's now wife Soon-Yi, was in the film as a then 9-year old daughter of Hannah (Mia Farrow).  To think that he directed this little girl in this film, lived with her, probably helped bathe her, then....married her....I thought I had heard it all.  And now, Mary is being thrust in our faces with a similar situation.  It's all just so.....yuck.

I lived (and worked) in the same neighborhood as Mia Farrow and her kids. Soon-Yi and her brother Andre Previn did the grocery shopping for the family as teens (I was a cashier in the local supermarket). Soon-Yi was in Hannah and Her Sisters, but as an uncredited party guest. Her sister Daisy was Mia’s child in the film. Still yuck. 

[sugarbaker design]

On 11/27/2020 at 12:06 PM, NYCFree said:

I think Mary’s odd marriage is more odd than any other housewife marriage because it is incest adjacent. Incest is one of the most primary taboos and goes across so many cultures. It’s so widespread that when a strata of culture, such as Hawaiian or Egyptian royalty, doesn’t have the taboo, it is really notable.

It's not that taboo, it's still perfectly legal for first cousins to marry in 15ish US states.  That's actually incest, not just incest adjacent.

[NYCFree]

3 minutes ago, sugarbaker design said:

It's not that taboo, it's still perfectly legal for first cousins to marry in 15ish US states.  That's actually incest, not just incest adjacent.

If you want to get that technical about it, incest only refers to the crime of sexual activity between people close enough in family that they are prohibited by law from marrying. By definition, if you can marry, it’s not incest.

I also said that Mary’s relationship was incest adjacent, because they weren’t related by blood it was legal. Morally he acted as her grandfather since early childhood and then a subsequent marriage and sexual relationship repulses me.

If Mary’s relationship doesn’t cause you to have the same gut feeling, so be it. Clearly their church folks think it’s fine and dandy.

[sugarbaker design]

30 minutes ago, NYCFree said:

By definition, if you can marry, it’s not incest.

I stand corrected!  Thanks!

[gwen747]

I can't stand that Brooks. He annoys the crap out of me. Just go away. 

[Baltimore Betty]

If there were to be a movie made based on the SLC HW's Owen Wilson would play Whitney's father.

[Keywestclubkid]

15 hours ago, NYCFree said:

If you want to get that technical about it, incest only refers to the crime of sexual activity between people close enough in family that they are prohibited by law from marrying. By definition, if you can marry, it’s not incest.

I also said that Mary’s relationship was incest adjacent, because they weren’t related by blood it was legal. Morally he acted as her grandfather since early childhood and then a subsequent marriage and sexual relationship repulses me.

If Mary’s relationship doesn’t cause you to have the same gut feeling, so be it. Clearly their church folks think it’s fine and dandy.

He was having sex with her grandmother while she was alive and her grandmother was telling them she wanted them to marry ... that is CREEPY enough on its own ... LOL

[nexxie]

On 11/27/2020 at 2:24 PM, Keywestclubkid said:

And add to the fact her mother and her fought over who would marry him is ick .. they weren’t married for love( not taking into account that he was her grandfather for all intents and purpose) at all 

Oh ick! Fighting over who gets to be “First Lady of the Con and Cash” - it’s amazing how people will fall for a grift if you promise them access to power.

[nexxie]

I hadn’t planned to watch another HW show, but binged the first three episodes one night when I couldn’t find anything to watch and my Kindle needed charging. So far, the only thing I find interesting is the snowy landscape that is much more comfortable to see on the screen than to experience in person - I like the way they’re filming this with lots of great aerial views.

Edited November 29, 2020 by nexxie

[Chatty Cake]

This franchise isn’t very good. The Shah bullshit is over the top unbelievable. 
Brooks is annoying and doesn’t need more air time. 
Mary’s situation is creepy. Her church is the type that prey on people with problems that need something. Whitney’s dad with his tears reminded me of that. 
 

[Lassus]

On 11/26/2020 at 9:09 PM, NYCFree said:

Whoop whoop Vassar in the house! But Lassus, I didn’t know you, were you a (lifts shirt) good time girl?

Probably not, not being a girl and spending all my time in Skinner.  But, FYI, back in the day, the SMIZING America's Top Model recaps were written by a Vassar grad when this site was TWoP two or three incarnations ago.

[FlyingEgret]

On 11/25/2020 at 10:36 PM, LakeGal said:

I wish someone would dump Brooksie in a snowbank.  

Along with lots of scary wild cows...

[princelina]

On 11/27/2020 at 12:06 PM, NYCFree said:

Did anyone notice the fluffier guy Jen had while wearing the costume dress? He trailed behind her and kept basically flouncing her train. He even came into the party with her, even though he wasn’t at all dressed for the party.

I did!  I always hate when HWs have their fancy parties and use people as props.  (Which they all love to do and I didn't even know it was a thing!). But bringing a minion to a party to carry your train is a new low.

Speaking of new - was Meredith and Brooksie's monotone, clench-jawed drawl new, or did it take me this long to notice it?  I hate him and he's making me not like her 😄 

Sometimes I feel sort of sorry for Mary, but then she acts like as big of an ass as the others so I stop.

Poor Heather looked like even more of a drag queen than usual in her dress-up outfit.

Lastly - Jen is the absolute worst.  (see above 😄 ). She's so stupid and ridiculous that I kind of feel sorry for her because she's so embarrassing and seems to think she is cool!  And women in their 40s don't have "sleepovers"!  

I'll keep watching and bitching because that's how I roll, but I really don't like any of these women.  The only HW shows I watch are BH and Dallas, (and the fabulous Ladies of London) and there are usually at least a couple that I can like, or even just enjoy watching, but this group is really the bottom of the barrel. 

[Bossa Nova]

20 hours ago, princelina said:

I did!  I always hate when HWs have their fancy parties and use people as props.  (Which they all love to do and I didn't even know it was a thing!). But bringing a minion to a party to carry your train is a new low.

Speaking of new - was Meredith and Brooksie's monotone, clench-jawed drawl new, or did it take me this long to notice it?  I hate him and he's making me not like her 😄 

Sometimes I feel sort of sorry for Mary, but then she acts like as big of an ass as the others so I stop.

Poor Heather looked like even more of a drag queen than usual in her dress-up outfit.

Lastly - Jen is the absolute worst.  (see above 😄 ). She's so stupid and ridiculous that I kind of feel sorry for her because she's so embarrassing and seems to think she is cool!  And women in their 40s don't have "sleepovers"!  

I'll keep watching and bitching because that's how I roll, but I really don't like any of these women.  The only HW shows I watch are BH and Dallas, (and the fabulous Ladies of London) and there are usually at least a couple that I can like, or even just enjoy watching, but this group is really the bottom of the barrel. 

Sorry, not to get off topic, but so agreed, Princelina ! I LOVED Ladies of London. So sorry it had a short life. 

Now that franchise had authenticity, organic real relationships, $$$, house  porn, $$$, fashion porn, interesting lives, interesting locales, sophistication and silliness.

The beautiful and sweet Caroline Fleming of real Danish royalty and celebrity (and some personal scandal) , taking us along as viewers to visit her family compound and castle outside of Copenhagen. PULEEZE. American Real Housewives shows will NEVER  EVER measure up. 

 

Edited December 1, 2020 by Bossa Nova

[SemiCharmedLife]

On 11/26/2020 at 6:26 PM, howiveaddict said:

I don't wear heels, so I really don't know, but is it a thing to wear strappy stiletto sandals in the snow?   While they are attractive, I doubt they would be once you got frost bite and your toes turned black.  Need the over the show galoshes things like our grandmas wore.  

No, that would be too practical.  

We need to take a drink every time the camera zooms on Jen Shah's OTT footwear.  

[princelina]

1 hour ago, SemiCharmedLife said:

No, that would be too practical.  

We need to take a drink every time the camera zooms on Jen Shah's OTT footwear.  

How about every time Jen's an asshole?  None of us will make it to the end of the show 😄 

[hilaryvm]

Jen clearly thinks she's the main star of the show and the queen bee.  Problem is, there is nothing interesting about her.  There's no "there" there.  She has horrible plastic surgery, a "glam squad" that she takes everywhere...and tries to be risque?  That's really all I've got.  The rest at least have something going on, beyond just being on a tv show.

I also thought it was ridiculous that Jen thought it was ok that Whitney went to Mary's church, but Meredith can't, and you can only be friends with one or the other if you're Meredith but not Whitney?  I'm sorry, being friends with two people who don't like each other isn't a "conflict of interest" it's just life.  The second episode, with much less Jen, was better I thought.

[swankie]

I can't tell Lisa and Meredith apart unless they're in the same scene together.  I would have sworn they were twin sisters.  One of them needs to dye her hair or cut it or something.  It's confusing.

Meredith's son is a bit of a drama queen isn't he?  You could hardly see Jen's vagina when she was kicking her feet in the air.  Especially from where he was sitting.  It's pretty obvious he just doesn't like Jen.  He's also a snob. 

[EtheltoTillie]

On 11/28/2020 at 4:15 PM, NYCFree said:

I lived (and worked) in the same neighborhood as Mia Farrow and her kids. Soon-Yi and her brother Andre Previn did the grocery shopping for the family as teens (I was a cashier in the local supermarket). Soon-Yi was in Hannah and Her Sisters, but as an uncredited party guest. Her sister Daisy was Mia’s child in the film. Still yuck. 

Upper West Side in the house!

[RedDelicious]

I saw those exact same white Range Rovers at TJ Maxx the other night.  Also I loved the expression on the blonde assistant's face when Jen walked into the baby shower and deliberately looked the other direction 😄 

[ava111]

This episode was very useful! I finally figured out why people wear those ugly fake nasty gigantic nails. To fix your glued on eyelashes!!! Never would have thought of that...

[ava111]

On 11/21/2020 at 11:33 AM, Keywestclubkid said:

not smoking is one of the 10 commandants?

It must be the Mormon's 10 commandments LOL

[Mstk3000]

On 11/22/2020 at 1:45 PM, Neurochick said:

And I don't care one bit about her marrying her step grandpa.  I also think people use the word "creepy" too much these days, it's becoming one of those words like "bullying" or "abuse," describing anything someone doesn't agree with.   I don't get what that has to do with sex trafficking; not everything is about sex trafficking.  I think it was more about grandma not wanting her husband to marry someone else and all that $$ they were collecting going to another family.

Setting aside sex trafficking, which I agree is overly bandied about, you do not find it creepy that Mary's grandmother arranged a marriage between her teenage granddaughter and her (the grandmother's) husband?  Ok, Mary didn't have to agree, and apparently her mother very strongly didn't want her to, but Mary was young and under her grandmother's influence.  She also seemingly felt that there was an aspect of religious duty to it.  But the fact that she herself says on camera that she couldn't bring herself to have sex with her grandfather, ahem, I mean husband, for as long as possible after the wedding, despite his nagging her about it, just makes me shiver with distaste for the whole thing.

[princelina]

21 hours ago, Mstk3000 said:

Setting aside sex trafficking, which I agree is overly bandied about, you do not find it creepy that Mary's grandmother arranged a marriage between her teenage granddaughter and her (the grandmother's) husband?  Ok, Mary didn't have to agree, and apparently her mother very strongly didn't want her to, but Mary was young and under her grandmother's influence.  She also seemingly felt that there was an aspect of religious duty to it.  But the fact that she herself says on camera that she couldn't bring herself to have sex with her grandfather, ahem, I mean husband, for as long as possible after the wedding, despite his nagging her about it, just makes me shiver with distaste for the whole thing.

I agree - no trafficking but she was definitely "groomed" for her current role - even if it was more about keeping money/power in the family than sex - which is why I lean towards pity for her.  But the fact that she's happily handing out $1000 favors to her rich friends rather than her congregation makes me turn against her.

[ladle]

Finally got a chance to catch up on this episode!  Some thoughts:

--When she was talking to Heather about her divorce and empowering her daughters, it was the most I've ever liked Jen Shah.  Which, yes, is a low bar...

--Does Meredith's mouth do something funny when she talks.  Like... in a Bell's palsy way?  I never want to make fun of someone's appearance/impediment if they can't help it but, I kind of suspect it's a result of too much botox/filler/collagen.  Also, why does her kid get talking heads?  Ugh.  He is a bit much.

--I continue to like Heather!  I love how supportive she is of all of her employees having babies.  (Versus my last boss, who replied, "Oh, shit" when I told her I was pregnant.  Not that I'm still bitter...)

--Whitney talks like a preschool teacher explaining things to kids.  

[ladle]

On 11/26/2020 at 10:06 AM, Sage47 said:

To me, a seven year old child casually mentioning porn is a sign of child abuse or neglect. When my son was seven he was playing with Hot Wheels, would never have known the word “porn” in a bazillion years! They should be investigated. 

My daughter is that age, and I can't imagine her or any of her friends knowing what porn is.  The only thing I can hope is that because he has an older brother, he has heard the word mentioned as something that's "bad" but doesn't actually know what it is?  

[Sage47]

1 hour ago, ladle said:

My daughter is that age, and I can't imagine her or any of her friends knowing what porn is.  The only thing I can hope is that because he has an older brother, he has heard the word mentioned as something that's "bad" but doesn't actually know what it is?  

That’s what I’m hoping. Still, that’s disturbing. Especially the fact that Lisa barely reacted. Not that she should have said anything to him!, but her face wasn’t even shocked. Pretty creepy. 

I have only been watching 15 mins lately and turning it off. This show is awful. It could have been so interesting with a different cast. Jen and Mary in particular are offensive. 

[emmawoodhouse]

I've noticed that super religious people, regardless of denomination, tend to obsess about the dangers of porn. I totally believe that Lisa's kids have been exposed to this nebulous fear from a very early age, long before they have any clue what porn is. They just know it's evil. 

If Lisa goes all out, her older son's phone might have parental tracking like Covenant Eyes to monitor his online activities.

Edited December 13, 2020 by emmawoodhouse

[NewGranny]

On 11/20/2020 at 11:54 PM, geauxaway said:

The Shah squad?? Da fuq?  Full time daily staff?  Yah no.  Her hubs is not even a head coach.  He’s not Nick Satan, he’s not even assistant / line coaching in the SEC (it just means more).   This is not full time daily staff money.

OMG, so I know that this is almost a year old but I am just starting the show, but as a diehard LSU fan, Nick Satan indeed!

[Glama]

On 11/29/2020 at 2:28 PM, Baltimore Betty said:

If there were to be a movie made based on the SLC HW's Owen Wilson would play Whitney's father.

That's a good one!

I just started watching this franchise so I'm late to the party, but to me Whitney's Dad screams Will Ferrell in a black wig.

On another note, I really like how Whitney is being there for her Dad. And he seems like a nice guy, I hope we don't find anything gross about him later on. I wish him the best.  

[RealHousewife]

On 11/30/2020 at 7:28 PM, princelina said:

I'll keep watching and bitching because that's how I roll, but I really don't like any of these women.  The only HW shows I watch are BH and Dallas, (and the fabulous Ladies of London) and there are usually at least a couple that I can like, or even just enjoy watching, but this group is really the bottom of the barrel. 

That's me too, plus Dallas. Salt Lake is more entertaining than I thought so far.