S05.E13: Welcome Back

[mytmo]

Did Tom think that all the guests were dieting or just had surgery and wanted poached food?  And why do all these chefs think that if the guests don't like their food then they don't have sophisticated palates?  A lot of people think poached anything is gross except Eggs Benedict which has bacon and is covered with hollandaise sauce.   

[Lady of nod]

14 hours ago, PaperTree said:

I'm hoping Rob just quits and Queen Mal-ia can do all the work herself.

Does Malia actually work? Because I can't remember seeing her do a damn thing other than tell her "boys" what to do, oh and she dries dishes now that snowflake Tom is cooking.

 

[Baltimore Betty]

31 minutes ago, mytmo said:

Did Tom think that all the guests were dieting or just had surgery and wanted poached food?  And why do all these chefs think that if the guests don't like their food then they don't have sophisticated palates?  A lot of people think poached anything is gross except Eggs Benedict which has bacon and is covered with hollandaise sauce.   

These yacht chef's tend to be snotty about what the paying guests like or not like.

I went to a fabulous dinner party in Boca, the host fancies himself a gourmand, he served scallops that were on the raw side and told us it is supposed to be served that way, it became a texture thing for me and I did fully expect to be hugging the toilet later that evening but that did not happen but that texture just was not enjoyable.

Tom seems like he might be hard to live with and now they are in close quarters with the added pressure of Sandy popping out of a galley cabinet every meal service might put a dent in the love birds relationship.

[65mickey]

32 minutes ago, Lady of nod said:

Does Malia actually work? Because I can't remember seeing her do a damn thing other than tell her "boys" what to do, oh and she dries dishes now that snowflake Tom is cooking.

 

Maybe she took lessons from Jenna on how to dry the same dish and wine glass for 20 minutes while she keeps any eye on her man. 

[Boo Boo]

Malia should not be in a position of power.  She's mealymouthed.  "Am I not allowed to be upset..."  That's not boss language.  There's a reason they walk all over you.  It's not because you're a woman. 

[esco1822]

1 hour ago, dleighg said:

where were they that it was going to take 5 or 6 hours to get to Ibiza?

Good question. They WERE in Mallorca which, according to Google Maps is a 5 hour ferry ride. You’d think this boat would be faster than a ferry. Maybe they docked somewhere on the mainland.

[smeds]

What I don't understand, instead of calling them &$#$&# and walking away because they weren't putting away the slide the way she wanted, why didn't she just stand her ground and tell them while how they want to do it might be the proper way, we don't have the time - this is how I want it done so just do it so we can move on to other things.  For someone who claims her brothers taught her to not let people walk all over her, she lets them walk all over her.  

[biakbiak]

14 minutes ago, esco1822 said:

Good question. They WERE in Mallorca which, according to Google Maps is a 5 hour ferry ride. You’d think this boat would be faster than a ferry. Maybe they docked somewhere on the mainland.

Unless the ferry has stops they are faster than the yacht according to its specs “The Wellington’s” cruising speed is 14 kph and maxes out at 16 kph.

Edited August 25, 2020 by biakbiak

[Boo Boo]

2 minutes ago, smeds said:

What I don't understand, instead of calling them &$#$&# and walking away because they weren't putting away the slide the way she wanted, why didn't she just stand her ground and tell them while how they want to do it might be the proper way, we don't have the time - this is how I want it done so just do it so we can move on to other things.  For someone who claims her brothers taught her to not let people walk all over her, she lets them walk all over her.  

Exactly.

If you are someone's boss and you give a directive, you don't walk away in a huff.  You stand your ground and there's a consequence.  Silent treatment doesn't work.  I had second-hand embarrassment when she said "Am I allowed..."  

[oakville]

Chef Tom should stop poaching his food. It's clear that some of the guests don't like it.

[dangwoodchucks]

Malia (after upsetting the tray):  Who gives me a glass tray of shrimp cocktail and the bottom of the glass is round?

Your perfect chef boyfriend, that’s who. Ha!
 

I think Malia is confusing HR with simple supervisory responsibilities a decent manager can handle.

[Mindthinkr]

I’m a little surprised that I haven’t read any of you snark on the dildo that was as long as my arm. Why was the crew even playing with it? I wouldn’t want to be touching it, and would be headed to wash my hands immediately afterwards if I did. 
The guests were celebrating 100k something...I must have missed what that something was. Most people on these shows, would be plugging it so I guess that was a blessing. 
In fairness the cake should have been mentioned on the preference sheet, not 3 hours prior to service. 
When they were down a stew why didn’t Malia or Capt Shady make one of the boys pitch in. Oh that’s right. They’re boys. 
How many times have the epaulets been lost? Isn’t everyone in charge of their own? Or was it just the second stew? 
Like so many other shows on Bravo this one is circling the drain. I’m going to blame the show runners. They think we can’t handle quality over shameless quantity.   

[dleighg]

9 minutes ago, Mindthinkr said:

The guests were celebrating 100k something.

users for whatever app or website. There must be some good reason we never heard what it specifically was.

You're right about touching that thing. EWWWW. 

[biakbiak]

1 hour ago, dleighg said:

users for whatever app or website. There must be some good reason we never heard what it specifically was.

You're right about touching that thing. EWWWW. 

Maybe they didn’t think the dildo/nudity were good for their business which is apparently teaching Foreign Exchange Market trading.

Edited August 25, 2020 by biakbiak

[Sage47]

Anyone think that Pete is going to be over the moon to meet crass-talking Aesha? She’s RIGHT up his alley, no pun intended. 😂

Why were we subjected to those guest’s bare asses?? And their gargantuan dildo? I can’t believe the crew was touching it, so disgusting. 

Great point Jsage about Sandy mysteriously not hovering over Tom, critiquing him. Complete BS after what she put Kiko through. She is repugnant and I hope Bravo fires her. 
 

 

Edited August 26, 2020 by Sage47

[heavysnaxx]

9 hours ago, 65mickey said:

and manning the grill? All of them hovering around Tom apologizing to him every time one of the guests sent back food was so tiring. 

Did you mean, "manning up the grill?"

Pretty sure Malia's about to start talking about herself in the 3rd person. "MALIA'S GETTIN' PRETTY STEAMED!"

Tom is such a delicate genius.

[blixie]

Quote

Tonight I heard Bugs say ‘billy dancer’ and ‘dickhands’.

Yes that's a whole thing. 

I thought Sandy was hovering over Tom? She just decided to ignore that he he served up raw lobster and chicken, and the editing chose to show her praising his grilled steaks, because that is the storyline. There is for sure a difference between the quality of the food being served and whether the guests like it. I still think there have been as shitty or shittier chefs than Tom or Kiko I don't know why they are getting worse edits than Kevin or even Adam. I think Kiko might actually be top three when he was on all cylinders not being undermined at every turn. 

Also I like Aesha and lordt Jess needs the help. I'm kinda invested in Rob/Jess so I am bummed they seem to have truly just been a brief fling though I assume that's the nature of the yachting industry hookups, I was kinda rooting for them to last. 

Sand and Malia remain the fucking worst. 

 

[Pattycake2]

So, Malia was complaining that she was supposed to help serve, it was 9:00pm and she wasn’t in her blacks yet.  Why did it take three of them to bring in and stow the slide? Why didn’t Malia just leave them alone to do the job?  Haven’t they done this on their own many, many times?

[chenoa333]

8 minutes ago, blixie said:

Yes that's a whole thing. 

That was very funny! 😀

[nokat]

2 hours ago, blixie said:

She just decided to ignore that he he served up raw lobster and chicken, and the editing chose to show her praising his grilled steaks, because that is the storyline.

I can't say I'm into poached or sous vide, but I would hope a chef used a meat thermometer, because there is a temperature that is considered safe for chicken.  The same goes for any kind of pork, which can look pink but will be safe to eat.

Beef though, I like medium rare.
 

[nokat]

Was it editing that we didn't see Malia previously in the galley so much? This episode she was glued to her boyfriend and ignoring the deck crew except to complain. You're the bosun, do your job.
 

[endure]

On 8/24/2020 at 7:40 PM, njbchlover said:

Hey, Malia - I know things are different on a super-yacht, but it's also a HUGE "HR" problem when you refer to your employees as "fuckers"!!!!  

And ‘the boys’ yet you went crying to Asshat Sandy ~  boo hoo about being called sweetie....poor poor pitiful you.  

Edited August 26, 2020 by endure

[endure]

13 hours ago, Baltimore Betty said:

These yacht chef's tend to be snotty about what the paying guests like or not like.

I went to a fabulous dinner party in Boca, the host fancies himself a gourmand, he served scallops that were on the raw side and told us it is supposed to be served that way, it became a texture thing for me and I did fully expect to be hugging the toilet later that evening but that did not happen but that texture just was not enjoyable.

Tom seems like he might be hard to live with and now they are in close quarters with the added pressure of Sandy popping out of a galley cabinet every meal service might put a dent in the love birds relationship.

I keep calling him to myself  ~ Tantrum Tom 😏

[endure]

This was pretty boring and I honestly have not got over the past couple of episodes.  I thought it was great we didn’t have to watch another docking by Asshat Sandy but dang if it didn’t show up in the preview for next week.....so now we get to see that again.  Seriously  don’t all captains have to dock the yacht and aren’t all the slips tight?  

14 hours ago, Lady of nod said:

Does Malia actually work? Because I can't remember seeing her do a damn thing other than tell her "boys" what to do, oh and she dries dishes now that snowflake Tom is cooking.

 

She mostly just gets in the way.

[Jack Sampson]

2 hours ago, endure said:

I thought it was great we didn’t have to watch another docking by Asshat Sandy but dang if it didn’t show up in the preview for next week.....so now we get to see that again.  Seriously  don’t all captains have to dock the yacht and aren’t all the slips tight? 

It's the one thing Sandy is competent at so they play it up like it's so difficult only and elite captain can pull it off.  In reality, it's about as common as a truck driver merging into traffic...except without an entire deck crew helping.

[SuprSuprElevated]

4 hours ago, endure said:

And ‘the boys’ when you went crying to Asshat Sandy ~  boo hoo about being called sweetie....poor poor pitiful you.  

I really, really, hate that she calls the deck crew "the boys".  It's as dismissive as grown women being called girls (depends on who says it and the circumstances).  She has a double standard.

[Mr. Miner]

Jess thought she deserved to be second stew. Sandy introduced Aesha has the new second stew, I see possible conflict ahead.

[njbchlover]

8 hours ago, endure said:

This was pretty boring and I honestly have not got over the past couple of episodes.  I thought it was great we didn’t have to watch another docking by Asshat Sandy but dang if it didn’t show up in the preview for next week.....so now we get to see that again.  Seriously  don’t all captains have to dock the yacht and aren’t all the slips tight?  

 

 

6 hours ago, Jack Sampson said:

It's the one thing Sandy is competent at so they play it up like it's so difficult only and elite captain can pull it off.  In reality, it's about as common as a truck driver merging into traffic...except without an entire deck crew helping.

I agree, although I think this is also a way to highlight how "competent" Malia is as a bosun, and how well she and Sandy communicate and work together.  

[TexasGal]

9 hours ago, nokat said:

Was it editing that we didn't see Malia previously in the galley so much? This episode she was glued to her boyfriend and ignoring the deck crew except to complain. You're the bosun, do your job.
 

I'll be curious whether she continues to do that now that there is an additional stew on board.  Deck was asked to help interior so maybe she was lingering to help.  If she continues to linger after Aesha starts then we'll know she's just a clinger.

[nokat]

6 hours ago, Jack Sampson said:

In reality, it's about as common as a truck driver merging into traffic

I've become an expert at merging in between trucks that like to stay in the slow lane. Not as bad as getting stuck behind someone who has no concept of merging.

Yes though about producers really playing up Sandy's ability to back the yacht into a slip because she sucks at being a boss.
 

[njbchlover]

11 hours ago, nokat said:

Was it editing that we didn't see Malia previously in the galley so much? This episode she was glued to her boyfriend and ignoring the deck crew except to complain. You're the bosun, do your job.
 

I was wondering this, too.  Malia was complaining about how hard it is to manage her deck crew.  Well, if she wasn't hovering in the galley so much, she would be better able to manage her team.  Plus, I think she just has crappy managerial skills, much like her mentor, Sandy.

I get the feeling that Tom was NOT 100% on board with taking this job, and that he was coerced into it by Malia.  That is why she is spending so much time in the galley with him - to make sure that nothing goes completely wrong so that he doesn't look like a complete asshole (which is not really working up to this point).  She's trying to cover and protect him.

It will be interesting to see if Malia continues the same way now that Aesha is there to pick up the slack in the interior.

 

[dleighg]

2 minutes ago, njbchlover said:

I get the feeling that Tom was NOT 100% on board with taking this job,

I had the same feeling. Like she's got this reality show gig, and he was just a regular guy doing his chef life, and she convinced him HOW MUCH FUN IT WOULD BE. And it ain't that much fun, which is part of why he's muttering under his breath all the time. It seems like quite a few of his complaints are sotto voce, as if he thinks if he says it quietly in the hallway outside the galley, the mics won't pick it up. Well they do. 

[Jsage]

16 minutes ago, njbchlover said:

I was wondering this, too.  Malia was complaining about how hard it is to manage her deck crew.  Well, if she wasn't hovering in the galley so much, she would be better able to manage her team.  Plus, I think she just has crappy managerial skills, much like her mentor, Sandy.

I think Malia was in the galley so much because they were down a stew. She was helping in the kitchen (of course, to be closer to her boyfriend), and Alex was helping with the guest rooms.

I did find Malia's talking head about managing the deck crew and the scene with Pete and Rob refusing to listen very telling. I would bet that many of the scenes they had to edit out because of Pete would show her incompetence as a bosun. There's just no way Pete became an angel after Sandy spoke with him. He probably walked all over Malia the whole season. I get why Bravo chose to do what they did, but I would love to see the original cut of the show!

[njbchlover]

56 minutes ago, Jsage said:

I think Malia was in the galley so much because they were down a stew. She was helping in the kitchen (of course, to be closer to her boyfriend), and Alex was helping with the guest rooms.

I did find Malia's talking head about managing the deck crew and the scene with Pete and Rob refusing to listen very telling. I would bet that many of the scenes they had to edit out because of Pete would show her incompetence as a bosun. There's just no way Pete became an angel after Sandy spoke with him. He probably walked all over Malia the whole season. I get why Bravo chose to do what they did, but I would love to see the original cut of the show!

I agree - I mean, Pete has been found out to be a racist, mysoginistic asshole, but I do wish I could have seen the original edit to see how things played out.  I'm sure, as you said, he didn't really change much (evidenced by his social media, from what I've read), but it may make Malia's complaining more understandable.  

Either way, I still think that she's not quite up to standard with managerial duties.  Yes, she can call out distances and the other things required when docking, and I'm sure she's adequate at the other actual duties of a bosun, but I don't think she's got the right attitude or experience to manage a crew.  

[nokat]

1 hour ago, Jsage said:

I think Malia was in the galley so much because they were down a stew. She was helping in the kitchen (of course, to be closer to her boyfriend), and Alex was helping with the guest rooms.

Maybe she should have been doing laundry. 
 

[PaperTree]

8 hours ago, SuprSuprElevated said:

12 hours ago, endure said:

And ‘the boys’ when you went crying to Asshat Sandy ~  boo hoo about being called sweetie....poor poor pitiful you.  

I really, really, hate that she calls the deck crew "the boys".  It's as dismissive as grown women being called girls (depends on who says it and the circumstances).  She has a double standard.

She could call them "guys", "dudes", or "gentlemen".  "Bros" would be a stretch coming from the boss, but still better than "boys".  I know I didn't appreciate it back when I was 20 something.  

"Sweetie" is worse, but she's the bosun and should set the standard, which she failed to do.

Lousy manager.

[njbchlover]

3 hours ago, dleighg said:

I had the same feeling. Like she's got this reality show gig, and he was just a regular guy doing his chef life, and she convinced him HOW MUCH FUN IT WOULD BE. And it ain't that much fun, which is part of why he's muttering under his breath all the time. It seems like quite a few of his complaints are sotto voce, as if he thinks if he says it quietly in the hallway outside the galley, the mics won't pick it up. Well they do. 

I agree - It was also VERY telling when the crew went up to sing "Happy Birthday" to the charter guest, and Tom said something like "Oh, this is where we all get to act like circus monkeys".  

I just get a "I really don't want to be here, but doing it so my girlfriend will be happy" vibe.  He doesn't seem to have much enthusiasm for his work or his food.  

[nokat]

9 hours ago, PaperTree said:

She could call them "guys", "dudes", or "gentlemen".  "Bros" would be a stretch coming from the boss, but still better than "boys".  I know I didn't appreciate it back when I was 20 something. 

"Sweetie" is worse, but she's the bosun and should set the standard, which she failed to do.

Lousy manager.

I've been thinking about this. I use "you guys" as a general term that includes women. Other than that I would use titles or names.  I'm used to a strict hierarchy that I'm not seeing on this show.

 

 I realize this show needs the drama but cringe often. 
 

[Uncle JUICE]

Malia, don't talk about being a great manager when you get frustrated with your team and call them fuckers. Rob might have been wrong doing it a way you didn't want it done, that's totally legitimate, but you lose all your professional high ground by calling them fuckers, particularly when there's more than one of them present, is completely out of bounds. Furthermore, Sandy, when you realize that Rob is actually escalating such behavior TO YOU in front of Malia, and your response is the ridiculous "Why not say 'can I make a suggestion,'" (which is bullshit anyway), and NOT "And when you want your team to respond to your leadership, it's probably a better idea not to demean them with profanity", then you show YOU"re not a good manager either. I swear, this stuff is NOT that hard to get right. Malia was in the wrong the way she reacted, and the crew was in the wrong for not doing it the way she said to do it, regardless if it was the best way to do it. This show sucks now.

[SevenCostanza]

On 8/25/2020 at 6:39 PM, heavysnaxx said:

Did you mean, "manning up the grill?"

Pretty sure Malia's about to start talking about herself in the 3rd person. "MALIA'S GETTIN' PRETTY STEAMED!"

Tom is such a delicate genius.

Just remember it's not a lie if you believe it.

This whole franchise is going downhill fast.  Last season of Below Deck with the bro crap was awful.  Below Deck Sailing Yacht sucked.  This is my first and last season of Below Deck Med because I absolutely hate Sandy.  She is the worst.  I hate how she favors certain people and treats the others like shit.  I've known people like her in real life and it's very unpleasant.   The only Bravo show I'm slightly interested in watching anymore is Top Chef, hopefully they don't screw that up. 

[Kiss my mutt]

On 8/25/2020 at 11:50 AM, Baltimore Betty said:

These yacht chef's tend to be snotty about what the paying guests like or not like.

I went to a fabulous dinner party in Boca, the host fancies himself a gourmand, he served scallops that were on the raw side and told us it is supposed to be served that way, it became a texture thing for me and I did fully expect to be hugging the toilet later that evening but that did not happen but that texture just was not enjoyable.

Tom seems like he might be hard to live with and now they are in close quarters with the added pressure of Sandy popping out of a galley cabinet every meal service might put a dent in the love birds relationship.

One can only hope!

Sandy will never admit this, but when it’s all said and done she’ll wish she hadn’t gotten rid of Kiko so eagerly. 
Poaching is the last way I would want any mear cooked. It’s just lazy. 
I’m not surprised that Jess and Rob are on the skids as he said he had a girlfriend already. 

Edited August 28, 2020 by Kiss my mutt

[nokat]

1 hour ago, Kiss my mutt said:

One can only hope!

This is off topic, but I want to kiss your beautiful mutt on the nose! Seeing that avatar always makes my day better.
 

[Kiss my mutt]

12 minutes ago, nokat said:

This is off topic, but I want to kiss your beautiful mutt on the nose! Seeing that avatar always makes my day better.
 

Aww, what a sweet thing to say. I’m sure Daisy would have no objections at all! 

[nokat]

13 minutes ago, Kiss my mutt said:

Aww, what a sweet thing to say. I’m sure Daisy would have no objections at all!

If you don't feel the need to kiss my avatar, I understand. 
 

[Kiss my mutt]

1 hour ago, nokat said:

If you don't feel the need to kiss my avatar, I understand. 
 

Lol I wasn’t gonna say anything, but... it’s all good. 

[NowVoyager]

I concur w/ the comments that Tom didn't really want to take this job, but did it as a favor to Malia. Whatever happened with the sick family member he was enroute to visit?

As far as the undercooked lobster & chicken--- maybe it's a British thing? I was once treated to an expensive meal at a restaurant with a highly rated British chef. As we were seated, the waitress told us the fish options would be served raw in the center & that the chef would refuse requests to cook the fish through. I love sushi & seared tuna steaks so I thought I would like it; I didn't. I took 75% of my entree home, fried it up in a pan & then it was one of the best dishes I ever ate. I never went back to the restaurant. As for pink chicken? No, just no. I would not risking getting food poisoning from salmonella just to spare the chef's feelings.

Tom was really thrown into this role last minute & except for those 2 exceptions, his food has looked really delicious. I don't mind his tantrums. Chefs are artists. At least he cares about the quality of his food.

The schedule sounded exhausting for this charter. 5-6 hours sleep, down a stew, no break & sailing at 6am for Ibiza. Phew! As obnoxious as those guests were, at least they took the time to notice that the crew was being run ragged.

[biakbiak]

1 hour ago, NowVoyager said:

I don't mind his tantrums. Chefs are artists

This is the kind of argument that has been encouraged for years making the food industry incredibly toxic and exploitative and thankfully is finally being called out and challenged by many in the industry:

[slaterain]

I totally agree that Tom only did this as a favor. Some favor it will be if it causes them to break up! I also find it interesting that Tom wasn't added to the opening credits. (or did I miss him!)

[luvthepros]

16 hours ago, nokat said:

If you don't feel the need to kiss my avatar, I understand. 
 

Thanks for that big smile that just came over me!

[biakbiak]

18 minutes ago, slaterain said:

Tom wasn't added to the opening credits. (or did I miss him!)

He was there.