S05.E01: What Goes Around, Comes Around

[Kayz Opinion]

15 hours ago, Dmarie019 said:

I think most of what Andrei does is manufactured for drama BUT it was nice that he said he wanted Libby's dad to pay for the wedding because he paid for all of her sisters' weddings, he didn't pay for his and libby's and libby deserves the wedding of her dreams. 

and libby deserves the wedding of her his dreams.     It doesn't seem like Libby's dad supported his other daughters/husbands/children AFTER their weddings.  He DID support Libby and Andrei for a long time (perhaps still is) after theirs.  Doesn't Andrei take that cost into consideration?  NO!  Because he's A MAN...a MANLY MAN who must instruct his American father-in-law on tradition.

[Kayz Opinion]

4 hours ago, Kangatush said:

For now I'm still Team Idiot Child Aseulu.  Dude is 24, extra naive, thinks condoms are for slut people, and shills fro-yo samples.  Color me shocked he doesn't have his shit together.

I will always like Asuelu.  I think he should be examined/tested by a psychiatrist or psychologist. I'm not sure that he will ever be the functioning and responsible adult Kalani and family expect.  He seems like a sensitive, sweet, innocent person and expecting too much of him will break him.  I'm sorry he was enticed away from his ideal island.

[Kayz Opinion]

13 hours ago, seacliffsal said:

And then the preview of Colt in a speedo?  Just NO!

Speedo? Wasn't that just belly fat flopping over a regular suit?  Personally, I enjoyed that brief surprised reaction when the new GF saw it all.

 

13 hours ago, seacliffsal said:

I'm sure you all will think I'm horrible, but...I hope Larissa does get deported.  Arrested three times in less than two years? 

I'm with ya, SeaCliffSal!

[Baltimore Betty]

12 hours ago, John M said:

You can get one the same day if you have a legitimate emergency, I had to do this many years ago when I had a trip booked to China and realized about a week before I left that my passport was expired. I had to go to a completely different city (I already live in a major US city) and wait in passport office all day but it happened.  

Andrei's wedding is not a legitimate emergency, lol. 

[1011101010001]

7 hours ago, Scout Finch said:

While I never wear tank tops and think visible bra straps look really tacky, a few nights ago that may or may not have been me temporary using one as a holder by tucking something underneath it when I had one item too many to carry in my hands into another room. 😬

And that popsicle was cold.

[mamadrama]

I fully support Libby's coven in thinking Moldova is scary. While they're at it, they should also know that Prague is horrible, Slovenia full of unspeakable horrors, and the Dalmatian Coast a complete dump. They might also want to avoid the war torn and dangerous countries of Austria and Wales...

Keeping out the riffraff one ignorant nutter at a time...

 

[1011101010001]

45 minutes ago, mamadrama said:

I fully support Libby's coven in thinking Moldova is scary. While they're at it, they should also know that Prague is horrible, Slovenia full of unspeakable horrors, and the Dalmatian Coast a complete dump. They might also want to avoid the war torn and dangerous countries of Austria and Wales...

Keeping out the riffraff one ignorant nutter at a time...

 

They probably think it Is where mold comes from.

[Elizzikra]

Quote

I'm sure there are many who'd pay for a woman with the face of The Joker.

I'm not sure that faces are the points of interest at the Bunny Ranch.

[RealReality]

On 6/15/2020 at 8:35 AM, magemaud said:

Colt said that Jessica had contacted him which further fuels my suspicions that she either watched the show and decided it could be a way to stay in the US (and be on TV!) or production found her at Central Casting and set up the whole thing. 

 

Yep, larissa part deux.  However, I think new Larissa is much less physically attractive, but she clearly has some patience if she has successfully worked as an au pair and some ability or desire to support herself if she is here on some sort of student visa.  

I'm not sure colt really wants a woman who wants to be independent or has the means to be independent.  

6 hours ago, Baltimore Betty said:

Andrei's wedding is not a legitimate emergency, lol. 

....to anyone not named Andrei 🙂

Edited June 16, 2020 by RealReality

[mamadrama]

2 hours ago, Elizzikra said:

I'm not sure that faces are the points of interest at the Bunny Ranch.

Oh, I don't know... Catch the right Groupon deal and you can get that thrown in there, too! 😉

[Mrs. Hanson]

22 hours ago, mamadrama said:

I fully support Libby's coven in thinking Moldova is scary. While they're at it, they should also know that Prague is horrible, Slovenia full of unspeakable horrors, and the Dalmatian Coast a complete dump. They might also want to avoid the war torn and dangerous countries of Austria and Wales...

Keeping out the riffraff one ignorant nutter at a time...

 

The breast feeding coven*!  

This whole scene made me cringe and laugh at the same time.  Stop calling the Molova party a wedding - you HAD a wedding.  This is a vow renewal.  "Hmm....I am having a lot of issues with my hubby, and my family can't stand him so I am gonna unload on them and wonder why everyone is pissed at each other."

Perhaps they have heard of Syria or Chad as places you should not visit?

*= I have zero issues with breastfeeding, in public or in private.  I get you're in Florida, and as I write this it is 94 in Minnesota.  Can you use a burp cloth to cover a little bit, please?  If it were me I would not want my plumpies out on display but then again I need to go put on a shawl and shoo kids off my lawn.  For the record, I breasfed in public but was covered - and the first time was a county fair.  I thought "These farm kids won't be fazed, lol!!!"

Edited June 17, 2020 by Mrs. Hanson

[bravofan27]

I really liked this episode! It was interesting and engaging, really good storylines going IMO.

I actually really like Andrei, only because I find him super hot and I love watching him engage with Eleanor. I didn't realize the Libby had 10 siblings-- it makes sense why she likes to have all the drama and chose a guy that is controversial. She gets way more attention that way. All the others just fade into the back.

I find Colt and Larissa both very desperate to prove the other wrong. Now Colt is with some weird Brazilian cosplay vamp lady who, seems sweet, but also like a better match for Ericka than a man, especially dolty Colty. Larissa is calling back to Brazil for money to remain in the US. I think her dad is helping her because he wants his grandkids to be in the US. At least Larissa has one man in her life that is taking care of her.

 

 

Edited June 16, 2020 by bravofan27

[Colfrmb]

@bravofan27 which episode of which show has Angela’s trip to the doctor?  I’m so confused with all these shows running at once and then the pillow talk and the “where are they now” shows.  

[Gobi]

10 minutes ago, Colfrmb said:

@bravofan27 which episode of which show has Angela’s trip to the doctor?  I’m so confused with all these shows running at once and then the pillow talk and the “where are they now” shows.  

It’s the sneak preview for the next episode.

[1011101010001]

So that whole post is a spoiler and should be moved to the correct episode.

[bravofan27]

45 minutes ago, Colfrmb said:

@bravofan27 which episode of which show has Angela’s trip to the doctor?  I’m so confused with all these shows running at once and then the pillow talk and the “where are they now” shows.  

Oh crap. Sorry. I'm so confused what I saw where. I don't even remember if this is before the 90 days or happily ever after. 

[Neurochick]

I really don't care if any of these folks are likeable.  If I wanted likeable, I sure wouldn't watch this show.

[Baltimore Betty]

2 hours ago, bravofan27 said:

Larissa is calling back to Brazil for money to remain in the US.

She used that money to buy boobs aka the American Dream as she called it.

[Alonzo Mosely FBI]

On 6/14/2020 at 11:50 PM, Sterling said:

It really bothered me when Kalani & Asuelo parked at their house, and Asuelo just shot out of the car and went into the house alone, leaving Kalani to get both kids out of car seats, carry both of them, while Asuelo didn't even leave the door open.

Asuelo lost major points there.  Go play your video games and volleyball and pass out frozen yogurt samples.  But help your own child out of his car seat?  Not in Samoa, we don't.

I didn’t like that either. Asuelo is, developmentally a child. He has limitations and isn’t ready to parent even on his best day. 

Low on the other hand is a frightening individual who terrorizes his family through threats and control . I fear for his wife. And I mean what is he going to go and do? Physically assault Asuelo ? 

I hate family Kalani and their dysfunction. One contraception mistake on Kalini’s part because she probably didn’t know you know, about science...biology.... started this whole mess. She’s a mess. 

[John M]

41 minutes ago, Alonzo Mosely FBI said:

I didn’t like that either. Asuelo is, developmentally a child. He has limitations and isn’t ready to parent even on his best day. 

I was wondering the same thing, does he have like, clinical developmental delay issues? Like, he doesn't seem all there in the head, every conversation is like talking to a confused 12 year old.

[Neurochick]

11 minutes ago, John M said:

I was wondering the same thing, does he have like, clinical developmental delay issues? Like, he doesn't seem all there in the head, every conversation is like talking to a confused 12 year old.

I don't think everything is an issue.  I also don't think anything is wrong with Asuelo.  I think he knows Kalani's father hates him and he's like, "I'm not doing what you want me to do, so fucking there."  I remember maybe a year ago, they had some sort of show with all of the couples.  Whoever was in charge of pushing the "bleep" button at TLC must have thought, "fuck this" and no one was bleeped out for the last fifteen minutes.  Asuelo let off f bomb after f bomb.  Kalani wasn't shocked at all, she was amused.

Kalani's dad commented early on that he wanted his daughter to marry a white man.  Maybe Kalani felt, "screw you dad, I'm going to do what I want."  Kalani could have had the baby in the US and never contacted Asuelo, certainly never married him. 

[bravofan27]

Personally, I think Answelo needs Kalani's father to mentor him, otherwise, he'd be totally lost. I get that Kalani wants her dad there to be a role model for Answelo. Answelo is 24 years old. He's from a poor country, and he has two children, a wife, and tons of expectations placed on him. I think he's doing okay. Once his frontal lobes close he'll catch on.

I should also say that I think Kalani's dad is beyond hot. He's the most gorgeous man I've ever seen on this show. I love  his beard braid. I love him. 

Edited June 17, 2020 by bravofan27

[Elizzikra]

Quote

I love  his beard braid.

I feel an overwhelming urge to grab the beard braid... and chop it off.

[RealReality]

2 hours ago, Alonzo Mosely FBI said:

I didn’t like that either. Asuelo is, developmentally a child. He has limitations and isn’t ready to parent even on his best day. 

Low on the other hand is a frightening individual who terrorizes his family through threats and control . I fear for his wife. And I mean what is he going to go and do? Physically assault Asuelo ? 

I hate family Kalani and their dysfunction. One contraception mistake on Kalini’s part because she probably didn’t know you know, about science...biology.... started this whole mess. She’s a mess. 

For me, watching ansuelu eating that apple, left little doubt.  It was a visual summation of ansuelu's cognitive...issues.  

MMV, but I think you're on the right track. 

My five year old nephew has more behind the eyes, so it's almost unfair to compare him to a child. 

Edited June 17, 2020 by RealReality

[Trackdawg]

On 6/13/2020 at 1:37 PM, greekmom said:

I never understood this whole "Angela needs a witness" business. Lisa sure didn't.

[Kangatush]

There is a sneak peak of the new episode on TLC.com

[Joan van Snark]

LOVED the reintroductions to Coltee, Angela and Larissa.  You can tell the producers are really having fun with this.  Some of these people are on their way to becoming household names!

Am I the only one who wonders why they keep bringing Asuelu and Kalani on the show for multiple seasons?  I find them really boring and agree with others that Asuelu 'ain't playin with a full deck' as they say.  

[poeticlicensed]

Coltee is deluded. A few reps with arm weights doesn't make your body speedo worthy. 

[Hangin Out]

On 6/14/2020 at 1:50 PM, MrBuhBye said:

Isn’t it ironic that many of the hardest jobs are the lowest paid?  I worked at McDonald’s briefly as a teen and it was the hardest job I ever had.

I feel so sorry for these kids working at the windows.  They are taking orders, managing the money, then sometimes get rude customers yelling at them.  I couldn’t do that job, and give them credit.

[Mr. Miner]

Never be rude at the drive thru, you might get some extra special sauce on your burger.

[1011101010001]

15 minutes ago, Mr. Miner said:

Never be rude at the drive thru, you might get some extra special sauce on your burger.

That would make me grimace.

[magemaud]

A not so Happy Meal 

[DiamondGirl]

On 6/15/2020 at 7:00 PM, poeticlicensed said:

Was it just my TV or did one of Larissa's friends have a super wonky eye?

You’re much more kind than I am.  I thought she was created by Picasso.

[blubld43]

4 hours ago, poeticlicensed said:

Coltee is deluded. A few reps with arm weights doesn't make your body speedo worthy. 

I could almost hear the universal "Noooooooo!!!!!!!!!" when he started stripping down.

[1011101010001]

56 minutes ago, blubld43 said:

I could almost hear the universal "Noooooooo!!!!!!!!!" when he started stripping down.

This is exactly why you should never go to a nudist colony or nude beach.  It’s the ones who shouldn’t undress in public who can’t wait to do it.

[Kath94]

3 hours ago, Silver Bells said:

I feel so sorry for these kids working at the windows.  They are taking orders, managing the money, then sometimes get rude customers yelling at them.  I couldn’t do that job, and give them credit.

I agree!  They're taking one order, talking to the person at the window whose order they took a few minutes earlier, AND making change all at the same time.  It amazes me.

[RealReality]

7 hours ago, MrBuhBye said:

That would make me grimace.

I see what you did there!

[bravofan27]

13 hours ago, poeticlicensed said:

Coltee is deluded. A few reps with arm weights doesn't make your body speedo worthy. 

But his mom had to use both arms to lift one! Clearly he's super strong and fit.

In all seriousness, the fact he needed to prove that he could lift more weights than an older woman on disability to show some type of athleticism or fitness is laughable, but Colt does live in 1960. The point being that women of that generation would be polite and laugh at how strong the man was and how not strong they were.

If Colt truly wants to look better, he needs to do some cardio and burn that fat. I don't see Colt working up a sweat however-- unless it's to save money (i.e, no A/C).

Edited June 18, 2020 by bravofan27

[mamadrama]

Threatening and lecturing Aseulu is not going to magically make things better. In fact, it might make things worse. He doesn't seem to respond well to conflict. I think her family needs to change their communication style with him. Mentorship, positive reinforcement, would probably for. I get it, he's a grown man, but his cognitive skills don't seem to be comparable to many people he's around.

[Kelly]

8 hours ago, bravofan27 said:

If Colt truly wants to look better, he needs to do some cardio and burn that fat. I don't see Colt working up a sweat however-- unless it's to save money (i.e, no A/C).

And of course...eat/drink less calories.  🙂

[RealReality]

8 hours ago, bravofan27 said:

But his mom had to use both arms to lift one! Clearly he's super strong and fit.

In all seriousness, the fact he needed to prove that he could lift more weights than an older woman on disability to show some type of athleticism or fitness is laughable, but Colt does live in 1960. The point being that women of that generation would be polite and laugh at how strong the man was and how not strong they were.

If Colt truly wants to look better, he needs to do some cardio and burn that fat. I don't see Colt working up a sweat however-- unless it's to save money (i.e, no A/C).

He should get that surgery for manboobs. 

Larissa gets a shitton if free plastic surgery, why hasn't someone offered to do the manboob surgery for colt? 

He can also lose some weight and make money with poop tea.  And he could totally find a real gym/trainer who would work with him for free just for colt to post the before and after pictures on his social media.  

This wasn't filmed during the pandemic, so I don't know why he didn't do that.  Heck, there are some personal trainers who will go to your house if you really really don't want to go to a gym.  

[AZChristian]

2 minutes ago, RealReality said:

This wasn't filmed during the pandemic, so I don't know why he didn't do that.  Heck, there are some personal trainers who will go to your house if you really really don't want to go to a gym.  

If you pay extra, will they do your exercises for you?

[RealReality]

4 hours ago, mamadrama said:

Threatening and lecturing Aseulu is not going to magically make things better. In fact, it might make things worse. He doesn't seem to respond well to conflict. I think her family needs to change their communication style with him. Mentorship, positive reinforcement, would probably for. I get it, he's a grown man, but his cognitive skills don't seem to be comparable to many people he's around.

I think kalani and her family need to manage (ie lower) their expectations for ansuelu in light of his.... cognitive struggles.  

There is no reason he should running out to play volleyball and locking himself away with video games when he decided to have two babies.  But his primary motivation may be escaping kalani's family. 

I wonder if he was more involved with the kids before kalani's parents moved in?  Also, does he drive, how is he getting to volleyball?

Edited June 18, 2020 by RealReality

[greekmom]

Two things still bother me:

1. the uber car ride with Colt and Jess and their declarations of "you're my bf/gf". It was so high schoolish that I think Colt was that freaky deeky fat kid who sat and stared at the other teens in high school who held hands and kissed and then got off on it.

2. The whole thing about the wedding with Andrei. I do remember something that Andrei had savings from his bouncer job in Ireland when he came to the States.  But let's be honest with ourselves.  TLC picked up the wedding tab then and will pick up the wedding tab now.  This is all fixed drama.

[Auntie Anxiety]

13 hours ago, mamadrama said:

Threatening and lecturing Aseulu is not going to magically make things better. In fact, it might make things worse. He doesn't seem to respond well to conflict. I think her family needs to change their communication style with him. Mentorship, positive reinforcement, would probably for. I get it, he's a grown man, but his cognitive skills don't seem to be comparable to many people he's around.

Maybe a daily chart with chores and gold stars once he completes them, which he can then exchange for video game time 🙄.

Asuelu is a man-boy with zero motivation to grow up and Kalani enables it. He’s working part-time handing out fro-yo samples, but when these episodes were filmed, the economy was BOOMING. There were so many jobs openings and not enough workers to fill them. Same is true for Larissa and Andrei. My local super market was hiring 14 year olds due to the dearth of workers. Surely these contestants could have found employment if they wanted to.

[mamadrama]

31 minutes ago, Auntie Anxiety said:

Maybe a daily chart with chores and gold stars once he completes them, which he can then exchange for video game time 🙄.

Asuelu is a man-boy with zero motivation to grow up and Kalani enables it. He’s working part-time handing out fro-yo samples, but when these episodes were filmed, the economy was BOOMING. There were so many jobs openings and not enough workers to fill them. Same is true for Larissa and Andrei. My local super market was hiring 14 year olds due to the dearth of workers. Surely these contestants could have found employment if they wanted to.

You would think, but I don't really know about any of that. My area is still trying to recover from the great crash of '29. 

[2dogmom]

coltee's new girlfriend is really strange. the giant tattoos on her thighs make me cringe. the constant talk about sex.  yuck.

if she came to my house as an au pair, I would send her back to the agency.

although, they are probably perfect for each other. 

 

aseliu should enroll in some kind of adult education class. maybe he can learn a trade.

[Auntie Anxiety]

30 minutes ago, 2dogmom said:

 

coltee's new girlfriend is really strange. the giant tattoos on her thighs make me cringe. the constant talk about sex.  yuck.

 

 

She’s setting her sights on becoming the next breakout star, along with all the other wannabes. The more outrageous and crass you are, the closer you come to your goal.

[TwirlyGirly]

On 6/16/2020 at 1:26 AM, Scout Finch said:

While I never wear tank tops and think visible bra straps look really tacky, a few nights ago that may or may not have been me temporary using one as a holder by tucking something underneath it when I had one item too many to carry in my hands into another room. 😬

Thank you! My 24 year old daughter and most of the young women around her age (and many much older than she) see nothing wrong with it. IMO, it's tacky and messy/cluttered looking.

I do wear tank tops and dresses/tops with narrow (1" wide or so) straps and I hand sew bra strap holders into every one (except those I don't need to wear a bra with - I'm small busted and if the top is loose fit and the fabric has enough body I can get away with going braless).  

I've offered to show my daughter how to make strap holders and she does embroidery so it's not like she can't sew, but she has no interest and insists visible bra straps are no big deal...

FTR, Tim Gunn agrees with you and me, @Scout Finch!

[Grifter Lives]

On 6/15/2020 at 6:15 PM, MrBuhBye said:

Yup the tavern was in a suburb close to the airport. 
 

https://www.thelocaltavernnorridge.com

 

On 6/15/2020 at 9:22 AM, MrBuhBye said:

It looks like Colt was staying in an airport hotel and they went to a tavern in a suburban strip mall.  I doubt they ever entered Chicago city limits.  Cheap TLC.

From the exterior shot, Colt stayed at the Hotel Chicago West Loop.  He brought cups of complimentary coffee from the lobby to the room in the morning after scene. 

Colt could fly from Las Vegas to Chicago for under $100, stay at the hotel one night and meet at the strip mall bar with daily specials.  The big expenses would be the Uber and boat rides. 

I hope that this isn't a spoiler:

https://www.msn.com/en-us/entertainment/news/e2-80-9890-day-fiance-e2-80-99-franchise-returns-to-chicago-for-e2-80-98happily-ever-after-e2-80-99-spinoff/ar-BB15zlDx