S04.E13: The Pleasure Principle

[procrasstinator]

2 hours ago, blubld43 said:

Exactly!  I don't believe for two seconds that Geoffrey truly ever said"no" to Varya, no way his ego would have been able to resist the two-women-fighting-over-me scenario.  He's a liar who lies like it's his second job.  

My feelings about both Geoffrey and David come from watching the flashes of rage they've both shown.  That, coupled with David's own comments like "she's going to see me whether she likes it or not!" puts him squarely in stalker territory.

Varya: no anger involved,not a stalker, she seems to want to present a happy surprise.  Just my opinion.

Varya also to her credit said it might not work out whereas David seemed to have things set in his mind--track down Lana and then start his happily ever life.  Apparently Lana's happily ever after didn't seem to be much of a factor to consider in his mind.  That's where the creepiness comes in for me.  Geoffrey too showed that kind of inflexibility.  Varya wouldn't go along with his timing and what he wanted so then he's done.  No compromise, no consideration of what the other person wants or how the other person feels.  Hopefully Varya will log on to a computer somewhere and realize how lucky she is that he wants nothing to do with her.

[Pondlass1]

The visit to Geoffrey’s home was a planned event right down to the expedited travel visa arriving two weeks after Geoffrey’s huffy departure.
We saw the van with camera crew ahead of the taxi.  The dogs didn't bark. Geoffrey and PICK ME! Mary were waiting by the door for the arrival.

The only one not in on the surprise was Varya. She seemed genuinely nervous and excited to have this opportunity. She thought she was staying at his house. No one would think  that in real life, so production had set it up.

It all makes for silly drama and ratings, but not fair to Varya who probably was egged into jealous What’s she doing here! anger for the cameras.

Anyway they all get nice trips at TLC expense. So there’s that. But it would be great if future seasons could be less manufactured for drama and more realistic. Nicer participants we can root for would make a change too.

 

[Colfrmb]

This season, the thing that has bothered me most has been this trend of arriving unannounced and uninvited at someone’s home. At the very least, if you have never been to someone’s home before and you show up uninvited, that is very creepy.  If you have been there before and your relationship is on any kind of shaky terms, and you show up uninvited, that is creepy. I honestly hope to God that TLC did not orchestrate the surprise visits and somehow everybody was at least partially involved.   I live 2 hours out of town and have had a guy do a drive- by of my house. I have had a guy figure out where I grew up, fly out there and bring my mother flowers at my childhood home.  I have had a guy sneak into my house and hide in a bedroom until I let my dogs in for the night and they found him.  Wtf.  It’s not cool to show up uninvited if you are not 100% certain that you are allowed to do so.  This is a bad activity for tlc to be promoting as cute, endearing, sweet, adorable, safe, etc.  now I’m going to take an anti anxiety pill.  🥺

[sasha206]

22 minutes ago, Pondlass1 said:

The visit to Geoffrey’s home was a planned event right down to the expedited travel visa arriving two weeks after Geoffrey’s huffy departure.
We saw the van with camera crew ahead of the taxi.  The dogs didn't bark. Geoffrey and PICK ME! Mary were waiting by the door for the arrival.

The only one not in on the surprise was Varya. She seemed genuinely nervous and excited to have this opportunity. She thought she was staying at his house. No one would think  that in real life, so production had set it up.

It all makes for silly drama and ratings, but not fair to Varya who probably was egged into jealous What’s she doing here! anger for the cameras.

Anyway they all get nice trips at TLC expense. So there’s that. But it would be great if future seasons could be less manufactured for drama and more realistic. Nicer participants we can root for would make a change too.

 

I don't know.  Geoffrey definitely had a look of surprise to me and a look of, oh fuck, my new woman is here.  He was avoiding kissing her.  

Of course, he really enjoyed having two women fighting over him but I definitely thought he was shocked.

I think all he knew was that TLC was going to film him.  Probably thought he was going to be filmed with the new GF.

[Colfrmb]

@sasha206, I agree that Geoffrey looked shell shocked, like his brain was on ice cream freeze, like he was at a complete loss for words.

[TzuShih]

I TOTALLY agree with those who "red flagged" seeing the dog(s) not react to Varya's visit to Geoffrey.  That was one of the best examples of producer shenanigans.  From Pekes to Mastiffs, dogs do NOT remain 'bland' when a stranger shows up on its property.

"Okay, Varya getting out of car:  Scene 52. Take 99.  ACTION!"   ☺️

[Tango64]

I think the Varya visit played out this way:

Geoffrey was responding to her texts enough to lead her on a bit, rather than completely shutting her out like he said he was doing. When the new gf asked him at dinner if he was replying to Varya's texts, he hesitated and looked all shifty eyed, clearly seemed to be lying.

So Varya has just enough response from him to think he's still interested. The TLC producers egg her on, telling her they know that he's just hurt and downplaying his feelings now, but they know he'd really love for her to give him another chance.

Then they tell her they can get her a quick visa, pay for her trip to America (she's said whe wanted to see America), and maybe some kind of appearance bonus payment. Maybe they'll introduce her to some entertainment industry people while she's there and she'll get a job?

She says sure, why not? She's genuinely interested in giving Geoffrey another shot and gets excited about the trip and the fun craziness of suprising him at home -- which the producers have told her would be warmly received, because they know Geoffrey is still in love with her.

In North Carolina, the producers tell Geoffrey they want to come by at a certain time to get some at-home footage with his new gf. So he makes sure the gf is there at the appointed time.

The camera crew leads the taxi to the house and when they get out the dogs are familiar enough with the camera crew folks (and they're old and dopey enough) that they don't get excited or aggressive. They do come to check out Varya but she shoos them off and the dogs figure it's okay because she's with these people they know. 

Varya rings the doorbell. Geoffrey answers, expecting just the camera crew. He's genuinely suprised to see Varya, is stiff in greeting her because the gf is nearby. Gf didn't know anything about Varya coming, thought it would be just the camera crew. Her reaction to Varya is genuine, and Varya's reaction to gf is genuine because she'd been led to believe Geoffrey was still pining for her and would be thrilled to see her. 

Geoffrey stands there with a grin on his face as he realizes two women are fighting over him. TLC camera crew high fives each other on their successful operation.

[1011101010001]

Watch Varya next say that she cannot afford more than one night in the hotel and rides back and forth so please let me stay on the sofa.  Hilarity ensues.

[magemaud]

42 minutes ago, TzuShih said:

"Okay, Varya getting out of car:  Scene 52. Take 99.  ACTION!"   

Stage direction to Varya: instruct the dogs to “be calm” in Russian as you walk towards the house. 

[Kangatush]

2 hours ago, AZChristian said:

And kind of makes you wonder why he though Varya's apartment was so bad.  

@Kangatush . . . just for you . . .

  Hide contents

  Yes, they really are that bad.

 

It looks like a toddler grabbed his boobs and then he tattooed the hand prints.

[1011101010001]

Just now, Kangatush said:

It looks like a toddler grabbed his boobs and then he tattooed the hand prints.

Or sperm is swimming away from them.

[AZChristian]

32 minutes ago, Kangatush said:

It looks like a toddler grabbed his boobs and then he tattooed the hand prints.

That makes as much sense as any other "excuse" I've seen.

[Baltimore Betty]

53 minutes ago, MrBuhBye said:

Watch Varya next say that she cannot afford more than one night in the hotel and rides back and forth so please let me stay on the sofa.  Hilarity ensues.

Like a really bad sitcom, like Three's Company.

[blubld43]

@Tango64, that sounds like a winner!  I can see all of it playing out exactly like that.

51 minutes ago, MrBuhBye said:

Watch Varya next say that she cannot afford more than one night in the hotel and rides back and forth so please let me stay on the sofa.  Hilarity ensues.

I would be concerned for her if I didn't know TLC is hovering nearby. Given Geoffrey's history, I'm still pissed he got a public forum, trashy is what we want, not *sociopath*.  We see you asshole, and know exactly who you are.

[humbleopinion]

55 minutes ago, MrBuhBye said:

Watch Varya next say that she cannot afford more than one night in the hotel and rides back and forth so please let me stay on the sofa.  Hilarity ensues.

90Day producer's script has Varya cast as Jodi Arias...

I'm okay if the outcome is the same....

[kendi]

6 minutes ago, Baltimore Betty said:

Like a really bad sitcom, like Three's Company.

"Come and knock on our door
We've been waiting for you
Where the kisses are hers and hers and his
Three's company, too"

Hilarity ensues as the trio makes a trip to the Regal Beagle and meet up with Larry and the Ropers!

Varya stating she only paid for one night at the hotel will play into the next episode. Which (un)lucky gal will spend the night in Geoffrey's bed? Will his sons give sage advice or just point and laugh like the Simpson's Nelson? 

 

[humbleopinion]

Geez, how much can a motel cost in Knoxtown?

Looks like on TripAdvisor she could get a chain motel room from $75 for a Red Roof(yuck...too many sketchy folk in the parking lot) to $120 for a Hampton Inn which are decent enough.

Varya was told to beg for shelter by the field producer....

[AZChristian]

5 minutes ago, humbleopinion said:

Varya was told to beg for shelter by the field producer....

Or even told, "We've alerted Geoffrey that you're coming.  We'll put you up in a hotel for the first night so you can adjust to the time change and get some sleep and a shower.  Then he said you can stay at his house for the rest of your two weeks."

I put nothing past TLC at this point.

[Mrs. Hanson]

54 minutes ago, kendi said:

Hilarity ensues as the trio makes a trip to the Regal Beagle and meet up with Larry and the Ropers!

Then there will be a misunderstanding.......

[RealReality]

All this talk of threes company makes me want to put on a Mrs. Roeper caftan and lounge about. 

[John M]

Not being a Russian national and traveled to the US I can't speak to the specific immigration process but I have traveled to several countries that require a visa to travel as a US national and there is no way in hell that they will give you a tourist visa if you don't have confirmed reservations at a hotel for the duration of your stay or someone close to you that will vouch for the fact that you are staying with them.

Hell, I have traveled to Canada like at least a half dozen times if not more and I've been stopped where they wanted financial information and to actually confirm with my hotel that I had a reservation for my entire stay along with a plane ticket back. No idea why, make just a random thing.

[seacliffsal]

I think Varya saw that she lost a potential ticket to America (and a green card) which is why she desperately tried to make up with Geoffrey at the airport before he flew home.  She also interviewed that he had not responded to her texts since he left.  I think she may have approached production with this great idea of surprising him.  It would get her more t.v. time as well as perhaps put her back on track for getting the K-1 visa.  I liked her throughout the season, but she certainly seemed to enjoy the media exposure.  And, even if her trip to the U.S. was producer driven, she still agreed to it and had outcomes predetermined in her mind.

[Baltimore Betty]

1 hour ago, kendi said:

"Come and knock on our door
We've been waiting for you
Where the kisses are hers and hers and his
Three's company, too"

Hilarity ensues as the trio makes a trip to the Regal Beagle and meet up with Larry and the Ropers!

Varya stating she only paid for one night at the hotel will play into the next episode. Which (un)lucky gal will spend the night in Geoffrey's bed? Will his sons give sage advice or just point and laugh like the Simpson's Nelson? 

 

Hilarious!

33 minutes ago, RealReality said:

All this talk of threes company makes me want to put on a Mrs. Roeper caftan and lounge about. 

You mean you don't have a Pandemic Caftan?

[Mrs. Hanson]

21 minutes ago, Baltimore Betty said:

You mean you don't have a Pandemic Caftan?

If we all keep eating like people are saying they are, we may need a pandemic caftan, lol!

[Kyanight]

1 hour ago, seacliffsal said:

I think Varya saw that she lost a potential ticket to America (and a green card) which is why she desperately tried to make up with Geoffrey at the airport before he flew home.  She also interviewed that he had not responded to her texts since he left.  I think she may have approached production with this great idea of surprising him.  It would get her more t.v. time as well as perhaps put her back on track for getting the K-1 visa.  I liked her throughout the season, but she certainly seemed to enjoy the media exposure.  And, even if her trip to the U.S. was producer driven, she still agreed to it and had outcomes predetermined in her mind.

Eh......  American suckers men on those sites are fairly common.  She probably could've found one that wasn't a felon and didn't have awful titoos.   I think it was TLC's idea and they certainly paid for the trip.

[Kareem]

However Varya ended up in Knoxville, I was sorry to see it.  Her reservations were justified and reasonable.  Also, I would never use dogs’ reactions as proof of a conspiracy or set up. Until recently, I’ve had six here, and whether friends, family, strangers, repairmen or whoever come here, none of them bark. If it’s someone they like, they’ll come say hello.  I didn’t give the felon’s dogs’ reactions to Varya a moment’s thought, and smiled to myself when she spoke to them in Russian.  I did wonder if the felon’s boys live with him?    

[RubySoho]

8 hours ago, Mrs. Hanson said:

But from we heard the customer service person was not snippy, was she?  She simply asked her to hold for a minute.

It’s not what she said, but how she said it. I definitely detected a hint of tension/disdain/shortness in her voice when she responded. 🤷🏻‍♀️ YMMV

[RealReality]

9 minutes ago, RubySoho said:

It’s not what she said, but how she said it. I definitely detected a hint of tension/disdain/shortness in her voice when she responded. 🤷🏻‍♀️ YMMV

If you only get a "hint" of disdain when you call a government office, you should thank your lucky stars!  

I work for a government agency and the "customer service agents" were moved upstairs temporarily while their floor was retrofitted.  I'm only in the office once a week, but those people were downright salty when they answered the phone.  

There was one lady, and I promise you, every time she picked up the phone she found a reason why she couldn't help the person and why she was not the right person to call. 

She would literally get into arguments with callers instead of just helping them, which would have taken less time. 

Frankly, I don't even know if her interactions were arguments because I could only hear her loudly yelling and people and telling them that she could not and would not help them because they had to call "someone else at XYZ and no, she did not have that number"

I was second hand annoyed on their behalf.  

Edited May 20, 2020 by RealReality

[deirdra]

1 hour ago, Kareem said:

 I did wonder if the felon’s boys live with him?    

The boy's little yellow car was parked in the felon's driveway when Varya arrived.

Edited May 20, 2020 by deirdra

[Mrs. Hanson]

10 minutes ago, RealReality said:

If you only get a "hint" of disdain when you call a government office, you should thank your lucky stars!  

As someone who is trying to simply get a yes or no from the Department of Education (not really gov't but close enough) I feel the pain.

[RubySoho]

Just now, RealReality said:

If you only get a "hint" of disdain when you call a government office, you should count your lucky stars!  

I work for a government agency and the "customer service agents" were moved upstairs temporarily while their floor was retrofitted.  I'm only in the office once a week, but those people were downright salty when they answered the phone.  

There was one lady, and I promise you, every time she picked up the phone she found a reason why she couldn't help the person and why she was not the right person to call.  She would literally get into arguments with callers instead of just helping them, which would have taken less time.  I was second hand annoyed on their behalf.  

Don’t get me wrong. My original comment wasn’t blasting the girl for her response or defending Lisa in anyway. I’m one of those people who try to be extra friendly when speaking with a CSR in any industry. Cannot even begin to imagine the level of negativity they deal with day in & day out, so I honestly don’t blame them for having a less-than-cheerful personality initially & do what I can to be a bright spot in their day. 

Just saying that she was probably responding curtly because BGL isn’t exactly a ray of sunshine to begin with. And even though we didn’t see the first half of that conversation, I wouldn’t be shocked to hear if Lisa’s attitude was anything less that polite. 

[sasha206]

2 hours ago, Kyanight said:

Eh......  American suckers men on those sites are fairly common.  She probably could've found one that wasn't a felon and didn't have awful titoos.   I think it was TLC's idea and they certainly paid for the trip.

Yeah, but bad tats and prison record aside, most of the American men going overseas for a bride are of the Dave/Ed variety looks-wise.  Geoffrey isn't attractive to me, but he's somewhat attractive in comparison to what's out there.  Honestly, I think he's more attractive than Varya who is an old looking 30 year-old.

 

Edited May 20, 2020 by sasha206

[magemaud]

6 hours ago, Kangatush said:

It looks like a toddler grabbed his boobs and then he tattooed the hand prints

don't miss the colorful giant centipede crawling up his arm and wrapping around his back! 

[RealReality]

44 minutes ago, RubySoho said:

Don’t get me wrong. My original comment wasn’t blasting the girl for her response or defending Lisa in anyway. I’m one of those people who try to be extra friendly when speaking with a CSR in any industry. Cannot even begin to imagine the level of negativity they deal with day in & day out, so I honestly don’t blame them for having a less-than-cheerful personality initially & do what I can to be a bright spot in their day. 

Just saying that she was probably responding curtly because BGL isn’t exactly a ray of sunshine to begin with. And even though we didn’t see the first half of that conversation, I wouldn’t be shocked to hear if Lisa’s attitude was anything less that polite. 

Ha ha, I'd love to hear your positive cheerful attitude up against that CSR in the office.  LOL, a battle of wills, yin vs. yang and a battle for the ages!

[RubySoho]

3 minutes ago, RealReality said:

Ha ha, I'd love to hear your positive cheerful attitude up against that CSR in the office.  LOL, a battle of wills, yin vs. yang and a battle for the ages!

😂

In all honesty, she’d probably end up getting a rise out of me. I have zero tolerance for people who’s goal in life is to be miserable for the sake of being miserable. It’s like, I am not the reason for your shitty day, so you can take that attitude elsewhere, thank you & goodbye!

[Kangatush]

8 hours ago, RealReality said:

All this talk of threes company makes me want to put on a Mrs. Roeper caftan and lounge about. 

You aren't already?  Our quarantine experiences are different.  🙂

[mamadrama]

57 minutes ago, Kangatush said:

You aren't already?  Our quarantine experiences are different.  🙂

Mine has been spent spending way too much time caring about these dingbats and keeping up with this show. Seriously, watching the episodes and looking at their SM has become my new part-time job. That, and caring for puppies...

Here's how DaddyDrama has been spending his when he's not at his second job...

[umgoblue]

On 5/17/2020 at 8:26 PM, deirdra said:

Is David too poor to get his pants hemmed (and a new coat)?
 

Yes.  He spent all of his money on FakeLana! $100,000 and $four trips could pay for all of his pants to be hemmed and he could splurge on a new coat, a non-pleather, 2020 coat.😂

[athousandclowns]

Am I the only one who finds the clips of Smothered as vomit inducing ? 

[John M]

4 hours ago, RubySoho said:

😂

In all honesty, she’d probably end up getting a rise out of me. I have zero tolerance for people who’s goal in life is to be miserable for the sake of being miserable. It’s like, I am not the reason for your shitty day, so you can take that attitude elsewhere, thank you & goodbye!

I would love you to meet my half-sister and her husband, I almost think their sexual fetish is to be goddamn miserable about everything in their lives to the point of creating it. It's so weird! I can understand it, they would literally rather complain about their wallpaper for a decade in their kitchen nook than just replace it or paint over it and they have more than enough to do both or just move.

[1011101010001]

52 minutes ago, mamadrama said:

Mine has been spent spending way too much time caring about these dingbats and keeping up with this show. Seriously, watching the episodes and looking at their SM has become my new part-time job. That, and caring for puppies...

Here's how DaddyDrama has been spending his when he's not at his second job...

Third job = cat cushion 

[mamadrama]

2 hours ago, MrBuhBye said:

Third job = cat cushion 

It's the most, er, "cats" he's ever had. 😋

[InternetToughGuy]

Watching the episode after it was relevant will make it less exciting than it already is, but I am always behind the curve on what’s trendy - I’m in deep denial and think that the whole “grown man with a job” thing is just a fad that will blow over, despite my facial hair beginning to turn silver while waiting. Writing this part after the rest of the post, once again this post isn’t that great since I haven’t been in the right mood for a few weeks - sorry to the 2 people who care.

***

Did Varya really not like Geoffrey’s bad boy past? I guess I can understand, since my stories of taking but not leaving a penny have never made women bite their lip in arousal. Geoffrey’s son’s hair looks so damn awkward; I’ve been growing mine out for around 8 months and every time I flash the mirror a defeated look at how stupid it looks, I keep thinking the “gorgeous locks” are just around the corner, even though I have old photos that prove long hair makes me look like my best friend is Wilson the volleyball.

His son has balls of steel to tell Geoffrey to his face that his marriage plans weren’t a good idea - I’d probably be serenading him on a fiddle just to avoid being put in a headlock. I assume every couple on every season of this show is supposed to be interpreted as somewhat of a joke, since all the talk of a relationship not working out never comes off as sad or as if the viewer is supposed to be wiping a tear away.

***

Not sure why Tom keeps going back to Darcey - perhaps she was in the sun too long and the melting PVC fumes are affecting his judgment. Tom is smart enough to get a younger girl but keeps returning to an old woman? Not very intelligent, but at least he’s still tall, good looking and rich. Hopefully he chooses another name to call her other than “the girl from Canada”, since I keep looking up from the screen thinking I’m being spoken to.

***

Whoever got a divorce from Lisa must have gone on to win the marathon dancing competition with the biggest smile on his face, assuming Lisa riding him didn’t shatter his pelvis. Lisa’s anger and laugh once again sounds like a professional wrestler trying to incite a reaction from the crowd, although no one could say her lack of sex appeal is just part of the act. I don’t get why Lisa’s upset about another girl, since doesn’t the name "Us"man imply he belongs to more than one person? His poker face is hilarious.

If she wants to see if he’s been faithful in terms of sex, she should count the amount of Gravol pills left, since she probably assumes a man taking them to be with her is standard protocol. I would love to see just how low quality the “50 fucking men” Lisa would be able to wrangle are, since I sadly know there are men who would stoop that low. It’s a shame the camera didn’t stay on Usman’s face as Lisa stormed off, as you could probably see the years and stress lines instantly fade away.

***

Darcey’s face looks like a tiger with the mumps - how much plastic is in that mug? I’m glad that family time skin care routine could be captured with a photo for the government database. Nice to see Tom carry 2 large suitcases to symbolize Darcey’s baggage. Tom’s pair of aviator sunglasses is a subtle reference to just how fly he is, even though him being a foot taller than me would already clue me in as to how superior he is.

***

I hope Ash has lowered women’s standards from being freakishly muscular to just not being mentally insane. Why do so many men just get random shitty doodle tattoos on their chest? I have a navy tattoo on my chest, to which I have to pretend I only speak Japanese when asked about it to avoid being exposed as a fake tough guy who can’t even explain what it means. Avery is such a soft speaker; a quality that paradoxically makes me hard.

***

Yolanda’s segments haven’t evolved throughout the season at all; you’d think this is all just an effort to stall time until the doctor has signed off on her psychiatric admission. Yolanda saying she wanted to “axe” him for some truths makes me believe she’s more violent than she led on. If “Williams” is Nigerian, it wouldn’t be hard to believe that Usman is making alternate escape plans.

***

At least Ed has reached the point where there’s almost nothing left to lie about; he must feel like he really blew it since lots of women will ignore you if your height doesn’t start with a 6, but when it doesn’t even start with a 5…. to even get a hello would be an accomplishment. I understand Ed’s plight as the day I can’t land a hot young girl is the day I am approved for euthanasia, although I doubt doctors will sympathize with a mindset so obviously corrupted by porn.

***

If Steph wanted to go home right away, why did she drive 3 hours for A-delaide-departure (after a dozen eps, this is the crap I am left with to say). I must’ve zoned out when they said how Erika got there, not that it matters. If there were any toxic relationship that were to last, this would probably be the best possible outcome, since they’re both weak girls and thus can only really fling insults at each other; compare that to imagining Ash and Geoffrey were in an abusive relationship with each other - being their neighbor would be great entertainment if you didn’t want to pay for UFC events. I can already imagine the PSA someone is typing up about that remark, yeah yeah.

***

David is moaning like he’s having a seizure. If Lana’s 28, I’ve got about a year and a half to get a womanly ass like that, which is a real time constraint when it’ll take at least 6 months just to shave mine. “I didn’t have much relationships in the past” - OMG she’s perfect! Of course if she even vaguely knows what the word “kiss” means, I would cross my arms in a huff and refuse to speak for a month, even if such juvenile behavior made her leave within 5 minutes.

David’s sense of humor is pretty funny, since he’s dedicated himself to being in character full time without even knowing it. I hope in the future women will make those excited coos when hearing that I am close to 60 - of course when they witness my debit card get declined when trying to buy a candy bar, all allure will vanish.

***

Geoffrey looks pretty good for 41 - Tom looks 10+ years older than him. Damn, Mary is such a minx - I wish Geoffrey could bed her, albeit with my appendage, assuming I didn’t die from blood loss before the act was completed. Mary’s so much hotter than Varya, it ain’t even funny - not to mention it seems somewhat uncommon a woman acts that excited to be dating somebody, at least on a TV show full of people trying to take advantage of each other. Geoffrey said Varya’s on the other side of the world while tracing a globe shape with his hands, which obviously doesn’t sit well with me, despite my arguments of living on a flat disc having no credibility or evidence to support them.

***

The halfway mark is always where I definitely don’t have a damn thing to say, especially today. I would skip my sobriety chips across the pond, since boring segments like these make me run for the liquor cabinet. I am not a fan of Taj, only due to the premonition that he’d be able to knock me out with embarrassing ease.

***

I know how Erika’s 12 hours between partners is a rough patch; probably eased by getting impulsive tattoos - I mean the canvas is already ruined, so if she wants to get a celebratory face tattoo, what do I care.

***

Nice to see Geoffrey smile again, even if it’s at the sight of me trying to lift a 3 pound dumbbell without ripping my pants. Whichever son who got the haircut looks way better with short hair; it’s something I always consider for myself, but when growing it out takes so long, you don’t want to cut it off even if you look like a total idiot.

If Varya is being filmed at the airport, you’d think Geoffrey would punch the film crew for not telling him. Varya looks much hotter than before, maybe due to not being in a cold climate - having Varya and Mary fight over him marks perhaps the only time I’ve ever felt jealous of a (likely) circumcised man. Of course with Mary now in the picture, one of the girls is bound to get shafted, depending on which definition you want to apply.

***

I found the accusation of Usman seeing “another” woman to be inaccurate when Lisa is best classified as ogre. One has to wonder how damaged Usman’s senses of smell, sight, and taste are after several weeks of prolonged exposure to her nethers - is American citizenship really worth it? His statements of “I am not in a relationship with that girl at all, I’m an entertainer” sounds like what he’d say about Lisa if he had an account on this forum. Usman landing such a loud and angry woman is probably his workaround for most American apartments not allowing guard dogs.

***

I feel a little jealous of David, since the language barrier would prevent her from fully understanding how pathetic I am, even with each of my feet teetering on a foot tall stack of phonebooks just to pretend to be above 5’7. David saying “I have the trans-later” sounds like his plans for becoming the dream girl if this relationship doesn’t work out. I know saying David is very attractive can’t really be said without producing a face like you bit into a raw lemon, but I don’t really get how men are attractive at all - for real, if any women could weigh in on that, it’d be appreciated.

***

I use more of my memory bank on keeping tabs of when my last bowel movement was than I do to shitty TV, so I can’t even remember Varya liking having Geoffrey around in the previous episodes, so the random 180 in behavior doesn’t make much sense. Is this smalltalk in the cab actually smalltalk or am I just socially inept? Most of the conversations I don’t actually enjoy are putting my hands on my hips like a woman and making disinterested monosyllabic grunts, so I find it hard to imagine people are actually invested in random conversations with strangers - of course I am not including online arguments where I turn beet red when a stranger insults my favorite TV show. Are those dogs any more likely to understand Russian than English?

///

I wish these segments trying to resurrect shitty relationships would go away, unless another Stephanie and Erika get together would erupt in a vintage Jerry Springer brawl. Ed’s segment has contorted my face like Stephen Hawking in disinterest, although I’m sure the decade straight of me being in the recliner in front of the TV may also be to blame for my failing musculature. Usman mouthing off is so hilarious, especially since Lisa’s temper is the only time you’ll use “hot” as an adjective to ever indirectly refer to her.

I think David will realize he paid for the world’s most expensive escort service, in which a hug costs 6 figures. How awkward it must be for Geoffrey to stand there while 2 women yell at each other; I can relate as me and my frequently argumentative brother are both under the delusion that we’re female, though our bickering is usually over stealing each other’s lacy clothing as our Dad laments in the background at how we turned out.

Edited May 21, 2020 by InternetToughGuy

[humbleopinion]

17 hours ago, Baltimore Betty said:

Hilarious!

You mean you don't have a Pandemic Caftan?

Gran just complained the Hot Cheetos powder stains refuse to come out of her Shelter in Place Sweatpants...She could use a Covid Caftan 

 

[Baltimore Betty]

Just now, humbleopinion said:

Gran just complained the Hot Cheetos powder stains refuse to come out of her Shelter in Place Sweatpants...She could use a Covid Caftan 

 

Perhaps that Covid Caftan should be made of something that wipes clean with a damp sponge but cozy feeling.

[AZChristian]

24 minutes ago, humbleopinion said:

Gran just complained the Hot Cheetos powder stains refuse to come out of her Shelter in Place Sweatpants...She could use a Covid Caftan 

 

I once joked about coming out with a line of clothes that were splotchy multi-colored so that no one could see the ketchup, mustard, spaghetti, etc., that always seems to find its way to my shirts.

MessyMe

 

[Mondrianyone]

The Jackson Pollock At-Home Collection.  You'd clean up with it.  So to speak.

My big concern is, once the pandemic is over, will they make us start wearing a bra again? (The women, I mean.)

[Kyanight]

9 hours ago, umgoblue said:

Yes.  He spent all of his money on FakeLana! $100,000 and $four trips could pay for all of his pants to be hemmed and he could splurge on a new coat, a non-pleather, 2020 coat.😂

And a tiny diamond chip engagement ring.

15 minutes ago, AZChristian said:

I once joked about coming out with a line of clothes that were splotchy multi-colored so that no one could see the ketchup, mustard, spaghetti, etc., that always seems to find its way to my shirts.

MessyMe

 

I think that being stain-catchers might be the true role of boobs.  At least that's what MINE are there for.

[hookedontv]

10 hours ago, athousandclowns said:

Am I the only one who finds the clips of Smothered as vomit inducing ?

No, you are most certainly not the only one. I'm skeeved out by those ads. There is absolutely nothing normal about a mother washing her adult child in the shower. And the fact that the daughter says her mom washing her body and hair makes her feel comforted (or something like that) is yucky. These people have serious issues. I feel like I need to take a shower (I can do this all by myself) after seeing those ads, they gross me out so much. 

[sasha206]

3 minutes ago, hookedontv said:

No, you are most certainly not the only one. I'm skeeved out by those ads. There is absolutely nothing normal about a mother washing her adult child in the shower. And the fact that the daughter says her mom washing her body and hair makes her feel comforted (or something like that) is yucky. These people have serious issues. I feel like I need to take a shower (I can do this all by myself) after seeing those ads, they gross me out so much. 

OMG Yes.  I can't help but wonder:  are these people for real too?  Are they pretending they bathe together to get on reality TV?  That's the best case scenario, but imagine if you wanted to be on TV so badly that you would do that?  

And imagine if this was a father/daughter thing? Would this ever be aired?

It's just so gross.