S04.E12: King Of Wishful Thinking

[Lily247]

9 hours ago, Mrs. Hanson said:

I think Avery telling Sian that Ash wants the son to live full time (or close to it) in the United States will be the first time Sian hears of this plan.

Probably. 

I also think that Avery, does.NOT need to put herself into another "relationship" at this time. Relationships are not something you can add on your job resume. She should probably focus on her kids, her job, her hobbies, saving money, for the time being. Romantic relationships are expensive, time consuming, and sometimes culminate in an unexpected pregnancy, when youve already got young kids to care for.  Whats the rush ? 

[suzywallis]

9 minutes ago, jackjill89 said:

WTF -- Lana is real?

Geoffrey is a horrible person. His 180 when she said not now. Wow. If we didn't know it already, he's a jackass.

Big Ed got his ass handed to him. Go Rose! 

I know, right?!!  Did anyone else about fall out of their chair  when Lana showed up??  I know I almost did.  Geoffrey is an ass.  So is Ed.  Rose is my hero! 

[Laurie4H]

If Lana is real than Williams is also.  Has anyone been catfished on this show? 

[renatae]

Yay! Varya said "not now" which hopefully means not ever. Geoff looked like he was really angry. Then he says the whole point of his visit was to get engaged. Funny, that wasn't his attitude when she said she'd love to go to the States and he decided he was being used.

ETA: Interesting he's taking his ball and going home because she "hurt" him and now it's all kaput. Typical control freak behavior. My way or the highway. Not bothering to keep in contact in order to get to know each other better as she expected. Of course she doesn't know what a blessing this is for her, but we do!

Edited May 11, 2020 by renatae

[mamadrama]

13 minutes ago, suzywallis said:

I know, right?!!  Did anyone else about fall out of their chair  when Lana showed up??  I know I almost did.  Geoffrey is an ass.  So is Ed.  Rose is my hero! 

The tea was spilt about Lana several days ago and it shook us all. There's more info in the couples threads. She may be real, but I think the relationship is.

12 minutes ago, Laurie4H said:

If Lana is real than Williams is also.  Has anyone been catfished on this show? 

Yes. The stripper dating the Muslim guy, Daya, for one. 

[suzywallis]

16 minutes ago, mamadrama said:

The tea was spilt about Lana several days ago and it shook us all. There's more info in the couples threads. She may be real, but I think the relationship is.

Yes. The stripper dating the Muslim guy, Daya, for one. 

I did not know that until tonight.  I found the thread in the spoilers about the tell-all that was leaked after I watched the full show. 

[mamadrama]

Ha ha ha! Geoffrey thinking he's going to guilt trip a Russian woman. Dude. 

Ed stomping away like a toddler all, "But I bought her a toothbrush!" 

[mamadrama]

No way was Stephanie really into Erika. And after tonight's display, I think she's confusing bisexual with bipolar.

[nb360]

On 5/9/2020 at 8:57 AM, blubld43 said:

Stephanie is a run of the mill influencer with an ILLNESS.  She's boring and self absorbed. She'll marry an older guy, who will love her at first because of her looks, then he'll get sick of her too, they'll divorce.  She'll get alimony and a house, spend her time "influencing".

Omg, I can totally see Stephanie as a Real Housewife in the future!

[mamadrama]

My husband literally sat here and refused to leave until he was sure that Varya was safe in the car. 

[nb360]

12 hours ago, Colfrmb said:

Oh! I almost forgot!!!  Has anybody else noticed the BGL is missing a tooth in her lower jaw? Most of the time you can’t see her bottom teeth or really any of her teeth because she is clenching her lips but I swear she’s missing a tooth right in front.

Maybe that's why she keeps her mouth clenched. She never seems to smile. 

[kendi]

4 minutes ago, nb360 said:

Maybe that's why she keeps her mouth clenched. She never seems to smile. 

She never smiles because she's a miserable person. I can't believe Usman let himself settle for BGL. 

[Callaphera]

I'm super disappointed that there's a real Lana. I think I was less disappointed to find out that there was no Tooth Fairy when I was five and I busted my dad trying to shove a $2 bill under my pillow. My scream was less terrified this time, too. Poor Dad - his hearing was never the same after that. 

[mamadrama]

12 hours ago, Colfrmb said:

If I was Avery, standing there with Ash and Sian in her kitchen with all smiling, I would ask, “you look so good together. Why did you split up?”  And see what they say.  Then, once Sian and I had gone to the restaurant/bar and had had a drink or two without Ash around, ask her again.  Personally, I doubt that woman would ever let her baby go.

Oh! I almost forgot!!!  Has anybody else noticed the BGL is missing a tooth in her lower jaw? Most of the time you can’t see her bottom teeth or really any of her teeth because she is clenching her lips but I swear she’s missing a tooth right in front.

I just turned 40 and due to a connective tissue disorder have to get all my teeth pulled and a full set of dentures when restrictions lift. I lost 8 teeth (they literally just crumbled) in 4 months. So I'm sympathetic to that shit and can't hate on her for that. Everything else, though, I am HERE for! 

[RealReality]

1 hour ago, Laurie4H said:

If Lana is real than Williams is also.  Has anyone been catfished on this show? 

This.  The girl in the photo was always real. 

They just found her and lured her with money or the promise of American fame.    

[Frozendiva]

Next week is the finale?

Geoffrey and Varya: She said not now to his proposal. Not that he could ask her again in a while and she may say yes. She was with him and the TLC crew. Not alone with him. She has concerns about his criminal record. I hope she investigates it further. He seemed angry that she said 'no'. She doesn't know you buddy, and her gut is telling her things. Back off. Go home to Tennessee and move on. And you sure moved on from your so-called soulmate. Barely blinked an eye. Varya, put him in the museum of loves you had and let him collect dust and hopefully break apart. You dodged a bullet.

Ed and Rosemarie: Rose, good for you for dumping him after telling him about his poor behaviour toward you and his lies. Good for standing up for yourself with the walking woodchuck. Unless he gets some counselling and works on himself a bit more, he will not give you the love you deserve. He has shown little respect for you, little interest in your son. It's been all about him.

Erika and Stephanie: The party seemed pleasant enough and maybe Steph tried a little. I'd admit to being uncomfortable with my partner's friends at first - I am a stranger and it might take me a bit of time to warm up to them. Steph was a cold hot water bottle. I don't know what she is or she is bi-anything. She just wants attention, to add to her social media followers, get some acting reels together. But not at the expense of Erika. She seems to be a nice girl and fun. Wouldn't mind going to a bar for drinks with her. The red flag of Erika being in an off and on relationship since she was 13 or 14 bothered me a bit. That is very young. And she was very impressionable at that age. Just a kid, really. Wonder who will pay for the broken bowl. Go home, Steph, find a way to talk to your mum about this and coming out of the walk-in closet before the show airs. And apologize to Erika for using her, using your illness to get your own way, and being a turd.

Ash and Avery: Well, that went a bit whatever. Avery obviously triggered Ash's ego when he couldn't smooth talk her. Too bad he was offended that she wanted her own hotel room. That should have been the deal from when she got there. Not move in with him first night. Stay on her own for a few nights to see how he really is. The beginning of the lies. Nice to meet the ex-wife and his son. The kid is cute and so is the dog. The ex-wife is decent too. They both spoke as adults and Avery got some interesting information - Ash lied about the divorce or when it happened, he lied about his ex-wife being cool with taking his son to the US. Sian probably had something more to say to Avery but held her tongue. No, she isn't going to say that her ex is a gaslighting jerk. However, I did get a 'danger, Will Robinson' warning bell from her.

David and Lana: More money spent going to the Ukraine. Maybe I wouldn't care if 'Lana' lived in say Houston or New Orleans. It's not a huge chunk of change. David sure is determined. Does he actually love this 'Lana' or is it a case of pride or delusion that after spending 6 figures on her for the past 7 years, that he is entitled to his purchase and that the customer gets what he wants? The hotel desk clerk is nice and probably has seen many Americans come to meet their Ukrainian catalogue/chat girls. The investigator looked like former KGB and one does not mess with KGB. Again, more of buddy, you got scammed. But no, David will not accept that. One person tells him he is a horse, he laughs it off; two, well maybe he has horse-like tendencies, five people tell him he is a horse and he should check his surroundings to see if he lives in a stable. Only when he hits financial rock bottom with her, will he clue in. Russia/Ukraine likes its hockey too - as Canadians well know. He came all that way and she makes him wait three days before behooving herself to make an effort to possibly show up. He irons his pumpkin coloured  shirt, splashes on the cheap cologne (you can afford Creed or Kilian or Tom Ford, etc.) , styles his wig, sprays on the hairspray for maximum hold and he waits by the monument and waits til he can probably compose an album, and a blonde appears. Til next week.

[1011101010001]

3 minutes ago, RealReality said:

This.  The girl in the photo was always real. 

They just found her and lured her with money or the promise of American fame.    

This is the third time they have pulled this crap.  They wanted us to think Antonio was catfishing Corny, then everyone thought Maria was a fat bald guy named Stosh, now this.  If they found Williams at least he will be some eye candy.

Edited May 11, 2020 by MrBuhBye

[mamadrama]

Just now, RealReality said:

This.  The girl in the photo was always real. 

They just found her and lured her with money or the promise of American fame.    

Interviewer: David, have you spoken to her since you returned to the US?

David: Well not yet, but there's a big time difference and it's cold there and it will be Christmas soon so she's busy and she's blonde so by law she can only call Americans on Friday the 13th and this is an election year and she can't hold the phone because she uses slippery lotion and...

[Frozendiva]

Lana looked like a hard 27 and really looked like she was at least in her mid to late thirties. Maybe it's the blonde hair or a lot of makeup.

[Meowwww]

David and Lana is another Caesar and Maria.  It was maybe shocking in Caesars season.   Now it’s just fake.  

[TrininisaScorp]

Geoff's barely suppressed rage and nasty behavior when Varya RIGHTFULLY said "not now" to his hasty proposal was chilling.  And his manipulative cold shoulder was so gross too.  Varya, girl...RUN...never look back.  Trust me. 

I have a level of respect for both Rose and Avery that I would not have expected after their first episodes of the show.  Rose stood up for herself and her son, and said "bye, felicia" to a man that is clearly confused why insulting her and being disrespectful would be an issue for her.  I love that she packed her shit and left.  Do that thang, girl. 

Avery has handled Ash's amazing level of gaslighting and immaturity with levels of calm and thought that I didn't expect from her.  I agree with Tim from Pillow Talk - Sian was hiding something.  You could see that she wanted to say something, but didn't.  Ash's lies have caught up to him; him not even being divorced a year, and Sian not being ok with Taj going to the US are HUGE.  It so matches the bends and half truths that he likes to hide in flowery language.  Let's see what she does.

LordT.  David.  Loser.  I couldn't stop laughing at this long leather trench coat and button downs while trying to act like a big man to the PI.  Lana may be "real", but it doesn't mean she isn't still a scam. 

Erika and Stephanie are a hot damn mess.  These are two people that lack in person compatibility.  Maybe they can be friends, but I don't think they were ever meant for anything more. 

ETA:  How DARE they use this delightful Go West song for the title of this trainwreck!  I said what I said!

Edited May 11, 2020 by TrininisaScorp

[Frozendiva]

I live in Canada and 2C is a bit cold at about 35 degrees. Yeah, I can manage a lightweight packable down jacket or semi spring or fall jacket, but I would also be wearing gloves. It's not bad when you are in the sun but can be very chilly on the hands and feet and such if you are standing outside for a while. Maybe David's leather duster coat was lined so he wouldn't be that chilled but living in Las Vegas and then going to more northerly Kiev would be an adjustment.

[1011101010001]

38 minutes ago, Frozendiva said:

 

Next week is the finale?

 

The commercial said three more episodes, which may explain why The Other Way doesn’t start until June 8.

[mamadrama]

Just now, MrBuhBye said:

The commercial said three more episodes, which may explain why The Other Way doesn’t start until June 8.

Next week should be the wrap up and then there will be 2 Tell All episodes. Those may air on the same night. 

[Frozendiva]

Maybe it's the finale next week and then the start of the Tell-Whatever. Probably a two parter.

Canadians get a long weekend next week and then it's the US Memorial Day weekend the following week.

Edited May 11, 2020 by Frozendiva

[JocelynCavanaugh]

Geoffrey and Ash are cut from the same psycho cloth.  Varya and Avery are two of the most level-headed, not-stupid people ever on this show, but when they calmly drew appropriate boundaries, the men's eyes turned black with rage.

For Geoffrey, everything has to be on his terms. He talked about marrying Varya and bringing her to America, but when Varya alluded to not pouring money into her apartment in Russia, he immediately started to gaslight her about her "motives." I know life is harder in Russia, but Varya seems to be doing fairly well for herself. She's not one of the desperate third-world women putting up with a totally gross old dude just for the green card. 

Then Geoffrey proposes, and she tells him "not now." But since that's not on his timing, it must be "never." He's done. He coldly shuts her down at at the airport, and heads back to what the previews would have us believe is that thirsty female friend back in TN. I hope Varya realizes that she's smart, pretty, employed, and totally capable of finding a decent man who doesn't have permanent nipple doilies.

Ash pulled the same gaslighting trick on Avery, repeatedly. He's such a bullshitter and has no idea how stupid and obvious he actually is. I really hope Avery is just riding this one out for the TLC cash. [But I don't want spoilers or cutesy not-spoilers that are totally spoilers about it!] 

[LaLaLaLa]

On 5/6/2020 at 10:26 AM, AZChristian said:

I think he has about five phrases that he uses all the time with his online "clients," so his ability to be a smooth talker hasn't been challenged.

His "seminar" proved that he has NO real communication skills.  Couldn't relate to his audience, couldn't handle negative feedback or challenges to the truth he thought he was spouting, and couldn't even plagiarize a concept successfully.  

At least a couple of the ladies in his seminar were production plants to throw him off. He's probably still a hack but they were plants and did their job well.

[LaLaLaLa]

On 5/6/2020 at 3:47 PM, blubld43 said:

I find Erica delightful as well, she deserved better than a wanna be influencer, especially one who seems to be heterosexual.  Sis needs to put her boobs away, gather her medicines, and go home.  She mislead her in the worst way, IMO.

Stephanie seems more asexual than anything. And, yes, Erika deserved better.

[Meowwww]

17 minutes ago, JocelynCavanaugh said:

Geoffrey and Ash are cut from the same psycho cloth.  Varya and Avery are two of the most level-headed, not-stupid people ever on this show, but when they calmly drew appropriate boundaries, the men's eyes turned black with rage.

For Geoffrey, everything has to be on his terms. He talked about marrying Varya and bringing her to America, but when Varya alluded to not pouring money into her apartment in Russia, he immediately started to gaslight her about her "motives." I know life is harder in Russia, but Varya seems to be doing fairly well for herself. She's not one of the desperate third-world women putting up with a totally gross old dude just for the green card. 

Then Geoffrey proposes, and she tells him "not now." But since that's not on his timing, it must be "never." He's done. He coldly shuts her down at at the airport, and heads back to what the previews would have us believe is that thirsty female friend back in TN. I hope Varya realizes that she's smart, pretty, employed, and totally capable of finding a decent man who doesn't have permanent nipple doilies.

Ash pulled the same gaslighting trick on Avery, repeatedly. He's such a bullshitter and has no idea how stupid and obvious he actually is. I really hope Avery is just riding this one out for the TLC cash. [But I don't want spoilers or cutesy not-spoilers that are totally spoilers about it!] 

So true.  The conundrum that is Geoffrey astounds me.  He made a huge scene with her friends. And now he’s pouting that she didn’t accept his proposal. What, did he think he was saving her from her life in Russia and can’t fathom her saying no?   Asshole.  

[kendi]

23 minutes ago, mamadrama said:

Interviewer: David, have you spoken to her since you returned to the US?

David: Well not yet, but there's a big time difference and it's cold there and it will be Christmas soon so she's busy and she's blonde so by law she can only call Americans on Friday the 13th and this is an election year and she can't hold the phone because she uses slippery lotion and...

Lana's nephew's hockey team made the semi-finals so she'll need to re-prioritize her schedule accordingly. 

[Dobian]

So the burning question of the week: how much did TLC pay Lana to show up?

[gavinmac]

In the early seasons of the show, virtually every single couple that met in person got married. It was boring. I'm quite enjoying all the breakups and rejections.

Geoffrey doesn't handle rejection from women well.

"I never thought in a million years you'd turn me down."

I got the feeling he wanted to slap a yes out of her.

 

[Temperance]

Every single one of these couples is over and they know it, except for Lana and David! There is not one couple I would believe or want to see after tonight except them. And maybe I want to see Lisa get her comeuppance.

Mama and Williams; did she ever go to Brittain?

Ash and Avery: Avery is way more rational than I expected. You go girl. Sian seemed odd to me. She seemed so civil about the possibilty about her ex taking their child to the other side of the world. I also got the sense Sian wasn't over him. She seems awfully tolerant for an ex, especially with a guy like Ash who seems to have some kind of problems and was threatening to run off with her child.

Erica and Stephanie: Erica deserves better. Stephanie is a whiny bitch. I can't believe she's making such a big deal about telling her mom she's bisexual.  In the real world, sure I would be understanding. I'm bi myself and not out to my mom, but there are three big differences. A)I'm single. B) I'm not traveling to meet across the world to meet someone. and most importantly C) I'm not telling the entiree world on national/international television!  Your mother could watch the whole damn show, which she clearly knows about. 

Rose and Big Ed: They're done. The only reason for Ed to pursue her is producer driven reasons. I never got over the age difference, which may be shallow. At this point Big Ed deserves this for being flightly, and hypocritical. His biggest flaw is that he did things himself like lie, but expected Rose to be perfect. Also Ed it is not Roses fault you waited 28 years to find love again. 

Varya and Geoffrey: Run, Varya, run! Varya is one of the most reasonable, rational people in the world. I hope these two are over. 

Lana and David: He found Lana! He wins! It's the ultimate save face. If TLC had her in their back pocket, why not bring her on earlier? It's more interesting watching them interact than watch David looking for her! 

Still not convinced Williams is real, but it seems sexist if he isn't. 

[gavinmac]

4 hours ago, renatae said:

Yay! Varya said "not now" which hopefully means not ever. Geoff looked like he was really angry. Then he says the whole point of his visit was to get engaged. Funny, that wasn't his attitude when she said she'd love to go to the States and he decided he was being used.

ETA: Interesting he's taking his ball and going home because she "hurt" him and now it's all kaput. Typical control freak behavior. My way or the highway. Not bothering to keep in contact in order to get to know each other better as she expected. Of course she doesn't know what a blessing this is for her, but we do!

He actually should move on, because her "not now" was really a "no."  His criminal record's not going to change. She was smirking in the car ride back when he whined again, she has made her decision and isn't going back. Good for her.

[Ucross]

On 5/6/2020 at 6:03 PM, PamelaMaeSnap said:

I'm hoping Erica lands on Project Runway. I love her style. 

Me too! And she's a very normal, everyday person, but with such fun elan!

[Ucross]

On 5/7/2020 at 6:15 AM, Mrs. Hanson said:

why does Avery get criticized for meeting her "boyfriend for the first time" but not Ash for meeting her?  It sounds, to me, like blaming the female for life choices that the male did as well.

Because she was the one who said it onscreen, and she is the narrator of this tale. Whoever the very secondary character Ash is, he has a kid who is well-cared for by the kid's mom. Avery appears to have no Dad(s) in her kids' lives, and randomly wanders off to meet her boyfriend she never met 12,000 miles away. She is the main character here, Ash is the non-mobile parent not leaving his kid behind. I don't like his attitude towards women, but at least his kid is pretty close and he's not gallivanting about the globe sniffing balls.

[renatae]

45 minutes ago, gavinmac said:

He actually should move on, because her "not now" was really a "no."  His criminal record's not going to change. She was smirking in the car ride back when he whined again, she has made her decision and isn't going back. Good for her.

I'm not so sure. She seemed genuinely baffled when he said they wouldn't be having any relationship at all. I think she expected, as she said, they would continue to communicate and develop trust, and he'd come back again. "We can go there next time."

I figure if she meant no, period, she would have avoided any discussion of any sort of future.

Whatever, they're done and I couldn't be happier.

Wins for Rose, Varya, Pinkie, Avery and hopefully Usman. The best way for this season to end is no one stays together.

 

[mamadrama]

55 minutes ago, Ucross said:

Because she was the one who said it onscreen, and she is the narrator of this tale. Whoever the very secondary character Ash is, he has a kid who is well-cared for by the kid's mom. Avery appears to have no Dad(s) in her kids' lives, and randomly wanders off to meet her boyfriend she never met 12,000 miles away. She is the main character here, Ash is the non-mobile parent not leaving his kid behind. I don't like his attitude towards women, but at least his kid is pretty close and he's not gallivanting about the globe sniffing balls.

Not really sure what you mean by Avery not having her kids' dad's in their lives. That's just not true. She's been very clear about her kids' dads being active. She even went so far as to correct someone for calling her a "single parent." 

"Gallivanting about the globe sniffing balls" is exactly what HE was planning on doing. It was mentioned in almost every single episode that he wanted to move to America. The entire scene with Sian in this episode centered around him relocating to America and being so far away from Taj. And from what Sian said, Ash ABSOLUTELY would be "leaving his kid behind" if the relationship continued, not Avery. Avery left her kids for less than two weeks-Ash was planning on leaving for four years. 

Avery did not"randomly wander off" to meet her boyfriend. She was gone on a 10-day trip, with a camera crew in tow, to visit a man with whom she'd been cultivating a relationship with for over a year. He was neither random, not was she wandering. This wasn't Robert moving a woman he'd only met once into his son's bed with him. This wasn't Anna bringing a strange man who can't speak English home to live with her 3 kids. This wasn't Nicole taking her toddler away from her support system to stay with a man who clearly doesn't want a future with her. This wasn't any number of cast members who have brought over spouses or fiances without introducing them to their kids first. This was simply a woman who was responsibly, and safely, spending time with someone she'd already formed a relationship with to see if they should move forward. Her children were cared for back home. I've literally left my kids with their dad on work trips longer than that. 

Technically, Ash brought a "random woman wandering 12000 miles" to meet his son. He lied to her about saying Sian didn't have a problem with him taking Taj to America. He also lied about how long he'd been divorced. 

[InternetToughGuy]

If I sound annoyed or disinterested, it’s because I am writing this with a headache and since I am not American, I don’t have the balm of being prescribed 50 Hydrocodone pills for a stubbed toe. If only I could find a sympathetic doctor who understands the mental anguish of finding out anime isn’t real.

***

It’s frightening how I don’t consider the idea of proposing after what looks like a few hours together to be a wrong idea. Did they say how long Geoffrey had been there? It’s weird how accumulating a freakish physique doesn’t dissuade oneself from acts of mental instability - then again, when there is a weak brain and weak body, you get something like David.

Geoffrey is the perfect social slave if he’s begging the government to get involved in their relationship. The only thing that could have possibly relieved some of the tension of this situation is if one of Geoffrey’s sons emerged from the woods wearing girls clothes - due to my own Father moved out of the house out of shame, I know a quaint little boutique that I highly recommend.

***

Ash appears to be mentally damaged - the very fact that someone like David can exist makes the theory that there are chemicals in the drinking water is a sound theory. Avery might even prefer me, who is so socially stunted, that I would be reciting my wedding vows through text to speech.

After so many unprovoked spats, one may be convinced that the full name on his birth certificate is Ashhole. The look on Ash’s face about Avery having her own room says it all - if I could get in the radius of her fart zone, only to be denied occupancy, I’m sure I would have a meltdown too.

***

For real, I was looking at my smut folder today and found a picture I had saved that looked exactly like Stephanie and Erika; I’d post it if I knew I wouldn’t get instantly banned, but since the photo was of their naked asses taking up half of the shot, one could be thoroughly convinced it was Stephanie and Erika’s Christmas card. Seeing as how Stephanie has an Only Fans account, where she sells lewd photos to weirdos, I doubt her Mom would be surprised at anything else.

Why doesn’t Stephanie’s Mom still look like she’s 20 years old? I am sad that I am the only person in this world who never ages, even though I’ve tin foiled all my mirrors so I’m not reminded of my rotten teeth and silver chest hair pouring out of my Hawaiian button up shirt. I don’t know if I’m just not in the mood to watch this show, but it seems like there’s nothing happening so far.

***

David’s man boobs look like they’re getting bigger - maybe if he massages them and tells them nice things, they’ll get big enough to provide enough entertainment that he doesn’t have to pursue women anymore. If “Lana” was absent for weeks, she must have had a huge mountain of money to count. There’s no saving this goof. He “knows in his heart” that she’s not scamming him - well since he hasn’t had any love in decades, his heart is covered in cobwebs and is thus an unreliable source.

He’d be less pathetic if he believed the women in porn videos had real feelings for him; at least they’re real people. I’d like to thank David for greasing the wheels with that female receptionist, as I could walk in with nothing but a diaper on and still manage to look more masculine.

***

Rose should know better than to question a pathetic man’s love for another man’s son - he probably already has a World’s Greatest Stepfather mug on his desk, which is the closest thing to being voluntarily castrated. Maybe the end of this relationship would mean something if Rosebot were programmed to express any real emotion.

Even as terrible as Ed is, I’m sure when she returns to the slums, she’ll realize he was just sticking his neck out for her, which is very difficult considering his appearance. Ed’s gut looks like me puffing my chest out after working my pecs - of course they differ due to those are made of muscle and not Big Mac sauce.

***

That kid looks really strong - if he can lift a 5 pound dumbbell without a crying spell, I’m going to have to show myself the door. This interaction reminds me of every awkward conversation I’ve had with adults when I was a kid, so damn painful. The “Cat-ibalism” joke single handedly destroyed my faith in ever becoming a comic - he’s funnier than me, and embarrassingly enough, taller than me as well.

***

Geoffrey must be really nervous if he can tense up so much that it looks like he’s in shape - either that or he actually cares enough about his appearance to do something about it. You’d think he’d have the common sense to not say awkward passive aggressive remarks that are only going to make it worse.

I tried thinking of anything to say, but I probably care about their relationship the least, so except for an unneeded remark about Varya’s succulent bosom, I got nothing.

***

Erika in that still picture looks like she should be standing over a bubbling cauldron. Why is it OK for that guy to be drinking in the afternoon? It’s only one drink? And he has a job? Never mind. Jesus, that Australian accent is torture for the ears. The game where you don’t have any privacy? I assume that’s a take on the modern life in the police state.

***

David needs a translator to convert his mental delusions into English and then into Ukrainian. That girl is such a babe - hopefully David goes for her instead, so his rejection can be filmed for entertainment. This strange dialect is how I hear adults talking to each other; perhaps I will attain semi-fluency after I hand out a few resumes, although they would be indistinguishable from regular blank paper.

***

Ash lied about the divorce? Usually men only lie online about things that can be quantified with a tape measure; an object that condemns me on nearly every date-able criteria.

If women in their 30s are so desperate that they consider long term relationships with such loose cannons as Ash, it gives me hope that I won’t have to beg the obese grey haired nurse for physical contact on my deathbed.

***

At least Geoffrey going back with only a broken heart means he won’t have to pay 5 figures in medical bills. It hurts to see Varya sob over that s.o.b. With how much Geoffrey and Ash want to reaffirm how hurt they are, they are serious hypochondriacs. “I wanted Varya to fill the void in my heart” - that sounds like it’ll go well.

***

They slept in full makeup? How vain. There’s a video on Stephanie’s YouTube channel of her Mom reacting to her Only Fans pictures - I think we can stop pretending there’s some sort of reputation on the line. Also, how does it seem like everyone can just immigrate to the U.S. with no problems? So many celebrities and musicians on Wikipedia say that they moved there with no money and no education (when they were really young, not famous).

How do these people get new relationships every 2 weeks? I guess they view burying their faces in people’s asses as casually as blowing their nose. Uh oh, the fuse has been lit! The tears seem to fall like water from the bath faucet, I don’t think they mean anything now. Maybe they could bicker in the dried up California crops - lord knows they could use hydrating. With all of this drama about exes, this is why I’m only interested in the purest of church girls, whose understanding of sex comes solely from what I’ve told them about it, which based on how much time I spend analyzing a girl’s nostrils is absolutely nothing.

All of my knowledge about relationships come from old issues of Hustler magazine, so I don’t understand how this is unraveling. You’d think after dozens of hours getting punctured with a tattoo needle, Erika would be somewhat immune to pain by now. I don’t get how Stephanie is so jealous when listing all of her own lays would be like the principal announcing the graduating class. Then again, I can’t even hear my brother say the female cashier smiled at him without going into a seething frenzy.

***

David looking in the mirror and somehow concludes that the only thing wrong with him is his hair; how delusional. Speaking of ironing clothes, it’s pretty iron-ic that he’s unaware he’s being taken to the cleaners. I pray she’s real so the embarrassment can escalate even further. Independent Square? I went there…. with my parents.

I bet David deliberately dragged this “relationship” out longer just so it would outlast the TV show Punk’d. Do you think that David was hallucinating and the cameraman had to pretend someone was there? At least this makes the show entertaining again.

///

The same relationships ending and starting over again; this shit is getting Lisa (old…very old). Darcey’s daughters’ natural faces compared with the talking Madame Tussauds statue makes me take back every remark about ever being attracted to her - of course put Lisa on the screen and she’d look like a dessert in comparison, assuming I hadn’t completely lost my appetite from seeing Lisa.

I’d say seeing men cry is uncomfortable, but to associate Ed with masculinity is a misplaced idea. Damn, that Usman segment looks juicy (which makes me sound like I work with Perez Hilton).

 

***///

As stupid as it is to take pride in posts that mostly comprise of me insulting myself, I am annoyed that this post is terrible. I usually just know what to say without any effort, but it wasn’t like that at all today, so I will have to flog myself for punishment.... at least after my daily fetish flogging, but when it becomes pure punishment, it becomes sexual all over again. It never ends.

Edited May 11, 2020 by InternetToughGuy

[Gobi]

6 hours ago, TrininisaScorp said:

Avery has handled Ash's amazing level of gaslighting and immaturity with levels of calm and thought that I didn't expect from her.  I agree with Tim from Pillow Talk - Sian was hiding something.  You could see that she wanted to say something, but didn't.  Ash's lies have caught up to him; him not even being divorced a year, and Sian not being ok with Taj going to the US are HUGE.  It so matches the bends and half truths that he likes to hide in flowery language.  Let's see what she does.

I wonder if Sian is paying Ashhole alimony? That could explain why she was in no hurry to finalize the divorce, and why she won't rock the boat about him remarrying by spilling any tea. Sure seems like he has never been much of a wage earner.

[cynicat]

6 hours ago, Callaphera said:

I'm super disappointed that there's a real Lana. 

I know, right?  When I watch this show I suspend disbelief about it being a manufactured TV show so I can frolic in the shallow end of the pool.  This was too, too slick.

[Alonzo Mosely FBI]

Sian made a point for ALL foreign fiancees.... YOU stay  back HERE raise your kid and take trips to America.  The kid is NOT leaving for America. Period.  

Good mama. She is a shrink- I think I read. I think Ash picked up on her work, and made up his BS career because he was sick of bagging groceries or something.  He had (reaching here) a kernel of luck because he has a good body to watch and an interesting accent.  

 

Edited May 12, 2020 by Alonzo Mosely FBI

[cooksdelight]

This might be the first season where no one winds up together. Will make for an interesting reunion.

If Lana ends up being a real person, kudos to production for fooling us all. I don’t see her being the blonde in the photo, but who knows.

[Hangin Out]

9 hours ago, suzywallis said:

I know, right?!!  Did anyone else about fall out of their chair  when Lana showed up??  I know I almost did.  Geoffrey is an ass.  So is Ed.  Rose is my hero! 

I went to sleep early.  My husband woke me up to say “hurry up, Lana is appearing”.  I jumped out of bed to see a blonde woman in a black coat far away, walking towards him.  WTF?  Who knows if it was her.  Maybe a hoax?  Maybe a pregnant woman?  Lots of possibilities with this show.  I can’t stand him anyway .. he’s so stupid.  Keep shelling out the money, you ass.   Oh, sorry.  My husband just said Lana hugged him.  We still don’t know if it’s Lana tho.

Edited May 11, 2020 by Silver Bells

[Hangin Out]

8 hours ago, mamadrama said:

My husband literally sat here and refused to leave until he was sure that Varya was safe in the car. 

I went to bed early.  My husband watched till the end.  I can’t believe he likes this shit show, lol.  He likes Pillow Talk also.  Go figure.

[Polliwollidoodle]

56 minutes ago, Silver Bells said:

I went to sleep early.  My husband woke me up to say “hurry up, Lana is appearing”.  I jumped out of bed to see a blonde woman in a black coat far away, walking towards him.  WTF?  Who knows if it was her.  Maybe a hoax?  Maybe a pregnant woman?  Lots of possibilities with this show.  I can’t stand him anyway .. he’s so stupid.  Keep shelling out the money, you ass.   Oh, sorry.  My husband just said Lana hugged him.  We still don’t know if it’s Lana tho.

I tend to doze off as well through this , especially the later it gets. When it was over, I remembered that I had heard that Lana appears but I never saw it either. I guess I have to watch it on demand (if it's on yet?) and just let it go background wise since for each hour of watching, it seems about 48 minutes is replaying. That works for me since I do miss some of it initially.

I love how the show is 2 hours ( 8 to 10 ) but really --- like 9:20 through 9:35 and then commercials and fake "coming next week". 

And yet, I watch.

Oh yes and I LOVE Pillow Talk too.

Edited May 11, 2020 by mayvenne

[winsomeone]

I wonder if Ed has ever thought to date a dwarf? It seems their body type would be more suited to his maybe?

[Impalace]

I thought she said Ash stays in Australia and goes to see Avery four times a year because Taj needs his dad. 

 

[Callaphera]

I'm confused why Avery is getting such shit for her parenting when she's one of the few that hasn't told her kid: "See that man I talk to with my webcam? You're gonna call him 'Daddy' from now on even though you've never met him!". You ask me, I think she won the Best Parent Of The Season award for that. 

Edited May 11, 2020 by Callaphera

[Mrs. Hanson]

2 hours ago, Callaphera said:

I'm confused why Avery is getting such shit for her parenting when she's one of the few that hasn't told her kid: "See that man I talk to with my webcam? You're gonna call him 'Daddy' from now on even though you've never met him!". You ask me, I think she won the Best Parent Of The Season award for that. 

Because people, especially woman, tend to drag on, blame, judge, and shame women for their choices?

Okay, I have a virtual meeting in 14 minutes so I gotta keep this short:

Geoffrey, you are a straight up passive aggressive ASSHOLE.  She did not say no, she said not yet and boy your true colors came out.  "Why would I come back here?"  which translates to "If I don't get what I want, NOW, were done.  No compromising."

David/Lana:  Well color me shocked she was there.  Well plated, TLC.  Loved the private eye.  I want him on my side of life!

Rose/Ed:  Wow, just wow.  She really let him have with both barrels, then LEFT without telling him!   Then Ed comes back, wanting to talk to her.  As for the whole calling Ed Daddy:  I 100% believe that was Ed's doing, as a way to manipulate Rose further.  He is not exactly honest so why would I believe it was her idea?  Look, I work with little kids and just tell him "Daddy is not coming" and move along, he'll forget it.  The little dude talked to him through a screen for 30 seconds at a time (trust me on the attention factor) and hugged him like twice.  Loved how she unloaded that "you never wanted to get to know Prince" because he didn't!  Prince may have loved that monkey sanctuary!

Ash/Avery:  Well well well......Ash was not divorced for 10 years, only one year.....same time as his "dating" with Avery began.  I thought Sian and Avery's conversation went well and Sian gently pointed out that no, Taj is not moving to America.  Ash can come back a few times a year to visit HIM.  But Sian:  Don't worry about that.   Avery is dumping his gaslighting, lying ass in a day or two.

We are not subjected to BGL grunting like one of Rose's dad's pigs or Yolanda's dimness, so there is that!

Erica, please just break up with Stephanie already.  She is a dream sucker and drainer of all things joyful.  You can do much better!!  I hope it was staged but the minute someone threw something?  Bye girl, bye!

Edited May 11, 2020 by Mrs. Hanson