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S04.E12: King Of Wishful Thinking


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Couple things that only occurred to me after sleeping on it: Steph said Erika had kept "a 10 year (sexual) relationship" secret from her. Erika is only 24 years old. I have several follow up questions.

Run, Varya, run. Run away from Geoffrey as though you're dodging a bullet (because you totally are)!!

Is there an Emmy Award for facial expression? Because I would like to give that award to Rosemarie for the look she gave the camera as Ed stormed off after she called him out on all his bullshit. And he still was trying to think of ways to manipulate her. Good for her. This definitely proves she's not a gold digger. She wasn't willing to sacrifice honesty for a life in America.

 

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3 hours ago, sasha206 said:

It was specified.  Go watch the scene again.  Erika uses the words that the ex-GF didn't come out "to her mom."    

The whole point of Erika sharing that story was to explain why that is upsetting for Erika that she's hiding it from her mom.  If we are to believe Erika JUST came out to her family, then she had a 10 year relationship with someone she also kept secret.   

If she just came out last week, Stephanie has every right to be pissed at her -- but for a differet reason.  Why are you doubting ME when YOU just came out?

I did not believe last week Steph just came out.   Her parents were lovely.  But it seemed like they've already had that discussion so they had time to be even more lovely.

Yeah, I did go back and you're right. She said the girl hadn't come out to her mom. That is odd, then, isn't it? Unless Erika was waiting the girlfriend to show some signs of being ready to come out before Erika would come out?

IDK, I think issues of "coming out as gay/bi" are being conflated a lot w/ issues of "as claiming me publicly" w/ this couple.

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I wonder what “Lana” thought when she saw that thing on David’s head?  So fluffy thick and black. A startling contrast to the saggy sallow old man skin.  Maybe if he’d bought a silver toupee it might’ve worked better.

 He’s supposedly had 7 years of conversations with “her”, but I doubt it was actually this woman on the other end of the chat thingy. So she’s not going to have a clue. But she gets to be on American TV. She looked directly at the camera.

Rose is my hero too.  Ed has zero interest in her son or her life. I wish the best for Rose and hope she made some money from TLC. Enough to buy a proper bed maybe? Or medication for the ulcer? 
 

 

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44 minutes ago, Gobi said:
2 hours ago, Mr. Miner said:

I like how Rose told off the no neck pig. But it wasn't enough for me. I would have loved it if Rose's father or a big brother showed up and gave him the beating of his life fed him to the pigs.

FTFY

I’m awful. I just wanted it to last forever.  Cover every cruel and obnoxious thing he said or did, one by one, since his fat ass landed in The Phillypeens! The Phillypeens!  Bolt his ass down and make him watch “I love you!” - “You’re ugly” highlights and all.  Keep showing the looks on his stupid face, since he was shocked!  Confused!  Whatever. She did it in a second language!  Stellar job. Stellar. I loved watching him squirm, a little too much, I’m sure.  
 

Still laughing over the person up thread calling Ukraine bound David “Shaft”.  Someone had to have told this clown that the bimbo of his dreams had been located or I don’t believe even he would be foolish enough to go back a fifth time and seemingly quickly. He was way too optimistic.  He’s her man alright. The way he was “talking“ to her on the plane was cringeworthy.  Lana looks kinda like Tom’s new boo.  

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39 minutes ago, BallisticNikki said:

Yeah, I did go back and you're right. She said the girl hadn't come out to her mom. That is odd, then, isn't it? Unless Erika was waiting the girlfriend to show some signs of being ready to come out before Erika would come out?

IDK, I think issues of "coming out as gay/bi" are being conflated a lot w/ issues of "as claiming me publicly" w/ this couple.

Yeah although why is there a need to announce yourself as a couple in a sexless relationship?  If it’s platonic does that need to be announced?

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I only hope that the female with whom Erica had a 10-year relationship is close to Erica's age as I would hate that an older woman groomed/took advantage of her as a very young teenager.  This thought has been bothering me.  Many things about this episode made me roll my eyes or feel exasperated, but Erica's story bothered me on a whole other layer.  

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5 hours ago, KateHearts said:

why is this sexist?

I don't believe Lana showed up to see true love David. Or to tell some pest to leave her alone. Or any other reason than TLC hired her. If TLC can hire someone to play/portray/be Lana, then they should be able to hire someone to be Williams. It seems sexist  if they've hired one woman (and another woman from a previous season) so the male stars save face and not do that for Yolanda. (True Story: I couldn't remember her name last night, so I went with Mama (as in she has six kids.) 

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9 hours ago, Callaphera said:

I'm confused why Avery is getting such shit for her parenting when she's one of the few that hasn't told her kid: "See that man I talk to with my webcam? You're gonna call him 'Daddy' from now on even though you've never met him!". You ask me, I think she won the Best Parent Of The Season award for that. 

Because women are always judged more harshly than men and held to higher standards, especially mothers-which isn't fair to the women or the men. 

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3 hours ago, Ucross said:

I really like Erika 

Also like Varya and hope she can block Geoffrey. People thought her hair color was artificial, but she has the same coloring as "black Irish" with raven hair and blue eyes, plus no sign of roots throughout the filming. I think she really is an Elizabeth Taylor.

It looked like cheap hair  dye to me. Plus, the brother had fair hair. Its not unusual in Russia for a blonde or light brunette to dye their hair icy black. 

20 minutes ago, seacliffsal said:

I only hope that the female with whom Erica had a 10-year relationship is close to Erica's age as I would hate that an older woman groomed/took advantage of her as a very young teenager.  This thought has been bothering me.  Many things about this episode made me roll my eyes or feel exasperated, but Erica's story bothered me on a whole other layer.  

I agree. I wish she would have disclosed a hint that her girlfriend had been a similar age. 

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Ash seems shocked and unable to handle the fact that Avery did not arrive there and bow to the altar of Ash and kiss his ass in pure worship. He is an abusive dirtbag who will cut her down constantly if she dare talk back to him. What a loser he is. 

How is it breaking trust to say that you need your space during a very tense time? This guy needs to call all the shots or he can't handle it.

Ash is "empathetic"? Really Avery? I am sorry but there is no mother in the universe that would say "I'm still processing this," when asked about her 10 year old son moving to the US with his father and his new girlfriend. A mother would say, "My kid isn't going anywhere." Why the hell are these people so vague. "Ash implied that it was longer than that" about the divorce or whatever she said. How about saying, "He told me that you divorced 10 years ago. He also said that his plan is to take Taj to America to live with us." Wtf is with the dancing around? Just say it. Jesus.

I got a weird vibe from Sian. When she was saying "I should say one thing" and then went on about how you never know when Ash is getting angry because he's like "yeah, cool, whatever." I was waiting for her to say that he will do that for a time and then explode in a fury. Something was off there. 

So, so, so proud of Varya saying not now and no. Fuck you, Geoffrey and your criminal background being shocked that she turned you down? Get over yourself you lout. I was wondering how this was going to play out with the production team likely knowing all about his background and Varya does not (at least I don't think she does).

Gee, Ed. Your 20-something wife to be is upset that you misled her and you find that shocking? So nice to see lots of backbone in this episode.

David is not worth my time.

Stephanie and Erika have such a boring story. I just can't watch them. It's nothing but arguing and drama and tears.

Sad to see that we're stuck seeing Darcy, Yolanda and bibbygirl next week.

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6 hours ago, SabineElisabeth said:

Congratulations to Rose and Varya on becoming official card-carrying members of The Mens Don't Control Me club! ❤️ ❤️

 

Why do people keep saying things like this about Varya?  She changed her mind when he left her at the airport, she ran inside and said "yes", and then he blew her off.  It really pisses me off that she gave him the upper hand.  I was sooo hoping that she would let Pouty McBeater just keep on walking.

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4 hours ago, Toaster Strudel said:

My theory is that Anastasia Date, upon learning their business model was going to be busted in front of millions or moneyed, foolish older men, was compelled to produce the woman in the photographs the website is using to scam people in order to restore their credibility.

Perhaps they weren't able to locate her in time for that first trip David took.

But didn't they face that same dilemma last season w/ Caesar and Maria?

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(edited)
5 hours ago, Ucross said:

Snarkers have mentioned Rose's "monotone." I agree that it's abrasive, but my distant understanding of Asian languages is they are based on up and down inflections, and that it's quite musical in that regard. That could account for what westerners perceive as a monotone. And her English is excellent. Can't say I speak any Asian language!

 

But there have been several other Filipinas and a couple of women from other Southeast Asian countries and they didn't talk like Rosie, the maid from the Jetsons.😄

 

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Edited by BallisticNikki
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9 minutes ago, Honey said:

Why do people keep saying things like this about Varya?  She changed her mind when he left her at the airport, she ran inside and said "yes", and then he blew her off.  It really pisses me off that she gave him the upper hand.  I was sooo hoping that she would let Pouty McBeater just keep on walking.

Did she say yes? I didn't think that is what happened. I thought she said something like she doesn't want it to end this way. 

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50 minutes ago, Lily247 said:

It looked like cheap hair  dye to me. Plus, the brother had fair hair. Its not unusual in Russia for a blonde or light brunette to dye their hair icy black. 

I agree. I wish she would have disclosed a hint that her girlfriend had been a similar age. 

IDK if it was cheap or not. But I think it was dyed. If you like that dramatic, jet black Married to the Mob look (and I used to), it's going to be pretty one dimensional and fake. Even if it's done at an upscale salon. (The benefit to having it done professionally by someone who knows what they're doing is that once you get sick of it, you can remove it far more easily and with less damage than you could w/ cheap bottle color.

Based on Varya's single teenage pic shown, she is dark haired. But I highly doubt jet black. 

The jet black would look better on her is she wore it in a style and not just hanging like a wet mop.

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19 minutes ago, configdotsys said:

Did she say yes? I didn't think that is what happened. I thought she said something like she doesn't want it to end this way. 

She said she doesn't want to let him leave like this and she doesn't want it to be the end. 

I hope she doesn't call her mother and yell at her for turning her against him blah blah.

Edited by BallisticNikki
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(edited)
1 hour ago, mamadrama said:

Because women are always judged more harshly than men and held to higher standards, especially mothers-which isn't fair to the women or the men. 

Yeppers, and on FB there are 90 Day pages and people are trolling on Avery after last week's episode:  "She was hysterical!  She was badgering him!  Why is she so mean?"  I was like, no, do not respond.  (Side note, I generally NEVER respond to FB posts, and I really learned that when I went on an Aldi recipe group asking for recipes as we rec'd an Instacart order in error.  After nine minutes I took it down and left the group as I was being called a lying thief, and worse.  All from women.  Due to Covid it was considered tainted once I took it into my house.   Food pantries around me won't take it, trust me I tried - they only want cash.  I offered to drive it to the correct house but privacy prevented that.  Sorry this is off topic, I needed to vent!!!   Thanks!)

Edited by Mrs. Hanson
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30 minutes ago, configdotsys said:

Did she say yes? I didn't think that is what happened. I thought she said something like she doesn't want it to end this way. 

That's what I heard, too.

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8 hours ago, OFDgal said:

I thought to myself that she looked about 40.  You're probably right with mid to late thirties.  No way she was in her twenties.  She is very hard-looking.  On another note,  David's leather coat.  I was trying to figure out what decade that was from and figured 70's.  Or maybe 1870's as it looked like something a cowboy might've worn back then. lol

LOL!!! That jacket is definitely late 80s early 90s. It got me thinking of Frankie Needles from NEW JACK CITY

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21 minutes ago, BallisticNikki said:

I hope she doesn't call her mother and yell at her for turning her against him blah blah.

I think she will call her mother and breathe a sigh of relief and thank her!

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10 minutes ago, The Goon said:

LOL!!! That jacket is definitely late 80s early 90s. It got me thinking of Frankie Needles from NEW JACK CITY

That jacket is very Superfly too!

I have never seen such a cast loaded with unlikable people.  Rose, Varya, Erica, Usman, some of the side characters we can cheer for; the rest are a toxic stew.  I wonder really what the hell TLC was thinking, putting not one but two unstable men on.  Makes me long for the day when those crazy kids Jenny and Sumit return to our screens, a geriatric homewrecker and her married much younger boyfriend.  Sigh.

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I can’t believe Stephanie flew around the world to do nothing but watch animals.  Plus, why when she meets anyone for the first time does she have to tell them all her health issues and needles she takes.

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20 hours ago, mamadrama said:

I just turned 40 and due to a connective tissue disorder have to get all my teeth pulled and a full set of dentures when restrictions lift. I lost 8 teeth (they literally just crumbled) in 4 months. So I'm sympathetic to that shit and can't hate on her for that. Everything else, though, I am HERE for! 

Mamadrama, I was wondering if you have h-EDS (or one of the other forms of EDS) because my daughter has it.  When did you start having dental isssues, if I may ask as well?

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5 hours ago, AZChristian said:

As soon as he said, "Okay.  I'm the bad guy," I turned to hubby and said, "Wow.  One of these 90-Dayers FINALLY had a moment of self-awareness!"

I think he was just trying to get Rose to acquiesce again, like she did after the humiliations of being asked to take an STD test when he wouldn't, take a warm bath, shave, use toothbrush & paste & mouthwash, etc. and he ruined every outing insisting on going inside for air con after a couple of minutes outside.  He basically told her father is intention was to test her out.  I don't think he has any self-awareness and still think he's a good guy. He paid for what he thought was a nice vacation, plane tickets, things like a teddy she didn't need/want, dental products, never asking her what she might like. He often talked to the camera about how he bought her things.  He was shocked because in his mind he thought he had bought and paid for her; how dare she not appreciate him for all he has done.

Edited by deirdra
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5 minutes ago, suzywallis said:

Mamadrama, I was wondering if you have h-EDS (or one of the other forms of EDS) because my daughter has it.  When did you start having dental isssues, if I may ask as well?

I have vEDS, but I get a lot of the cross symptoms of the other types. My dental issues started all at once about two years ago. I literally woke up with a tooth on my pillow. It's complicated because the EDS has caused my lower jaw to become disjointed. I need to have the rest of my teeth pulled and dentures put in, but I can't until I have both jaws broken and reset first. I've been going around and around with insurance for a year. It's all very painful. 

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3 hours ago, Pondlass1 said:

He’s supposedly had 7 years of conversations with “her”, but I doubt it was actually this woman on the other end of the chat thingy. So she’s not going to have a clue. But she gets to be on American TV. She looked directly at the camera.

I wonder how much $$$ TLC paid her. 

Last year TLC actually showed Maria (of Caesar and Maria), but they never showed Lana, even last night.  I agree that David probably wasn't talking to this woman.  I also think that Lana, if that is her name, talks to several American men online.  That dating site sounds like those 900 numbers popular in the 90's.  The object was to keep the guy on the phone, the longer he's on the phone, the more money the company gets.  That was probably Lana's job. 

TLC probably said, "hey, want to be on American TV?"  It was an offer Lana could not refuse.  I saw her looking at the camera too, she was probably as happy as a pig in shit.

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10 hours ago, BallisticNikki said:

Yeah, that was odd. I assumed they'd stay at the same hotel that night but in different room and drive to Sian's house together the next day. But why did it look like Avery took an Uber alone to Sian's house and Ash had already been there for a while.? Why didn't he drive her? Where did he drop her off and where did he stay?

My theory is that he just stayed the night at Sian's and probably had sex with her. 

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26 minutes ago, mamadrama said:

And do you know how hard it is to be toothless where I live? I want to run around with my hand outstretched saying, "Hi! I'm Mamadrama and I swear I'm not on meth!" 😁

oH MY GOODNESS, YES!!  Our county used to be one of the highest in meth busts in Indiana.  No teeth, no big deal!  LOL   If you aren't already, I have found the EDS pages on Facebook helpful.  Thank you for sharing that....My kiddo is 16 and she has been diagnosed for 2 years.  Other people's journeys are inspirational and educational.  I appreciate hearing from others, no matter what their type is.  God bless!

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The sight of David striding through the plaza wearing a Columbine style trench coat gave me nightmares.  I have a feeling TLC had to pay  a princely sum to “Lana” or her employers to have her make an appearance. 

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13 minutes ago, suzywallis said:

oH MY GOODNESS, YES!!  Our county used to be one of the highest in meth busts in Indiana.  No teeth, no big deal!  LOL   If you aren't already, I have found the EDS pages on Facebook helpful.  Thank you for sharing that....My kiddo is 16 and she has been diagnosed for 2 years.  Other people's journeys are inspirational and educational.  I appreciate hearing from others, no matter what their type is.  God bless!

Thanks. I used to belong to a lot of the groups and even ran a big one myself, but I dropped out of all of them. A lot of the people reminded me of Stephanie and the talks of her illness. I know I'm sick. I don't like the idea of it being my identity, though, and it was starting to feel that way. I have a few close friends with it and we support each other, but the online stuff just started bringing me down. I've had two strokes and a mild heart attack in the past 18 months, but although it sucks I really try not to let it dictate how I live. I still do what I love, just sometimes in modified ways. The teeth, though, are different. Because I love to eat...

Speaking of Stephanie... I'm finding that outside of these YouTubers' channels, they don't seem to have much of a personality. Erika in real life appeared to be what Stephanie was trying to show online (fun, quirky, happy, etc).

23 minutes ago, Neurochick said:

Something I don't get about Geoffrey,

  Hide contents

wasn't he allegedly still married when he went to Russia?

 

Yes. 

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My mind was blown when I saw Lana at the end. BUT, when I went to watch ON DEMAND, they had edited her out. So they just show David saying, "there she is!" and then it cuts to previews. I was pretty disappointed cuz I wanted to get a good look at this lady. The glimpse of her I saw when the show was airing, did look like her, she looked excited, but also confused. I wanted to rewatch.

Props to 90 day producers for making that happen. Shame for editing it out of the reruns!

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5 hours ago, Kareem said:

Lana looks kinda like Tom’s new boo.  

Maybe because of budget restrictions, Sharp could only afford to hire one actress to play both Shannon and Lana. 

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4 hours ago, configdotsys said:

When she was saying "I should say one thing" and then went on about how you never know when Ash is getting angry because he's like "yeah, cool, whatever."

I thought it was pretty obvious to everyone when he was getting angry. 

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13 hours ago, AZChristian said:

Geoffrey and Varya:  She didn't want to give a firm answer right now, so he got scary aggressive looking and made her ride with him to the airport while he made verbal potshots at her.  He was done begging her and gaslighting her and just kept repeating "I gotta go" when he thought it was useless to keep trying to get her to change her mind.  But then - when SHE wavered - his attitude was "Nope.  I'm leaving now.  You hurt my feelings, so I'm gonna run away to make you feel bad."  IMO, the alternative behavior was he would have stayed, gotten rid of the camera crew, taken her to a hotel, and beaten the living daylights out of her.  And made it her fault.  She's lucky.

He was a freaking roller coaster. He went there with an engagement ring. He gets there and expects her to spend the night and gets pissy when she tells him that she promised her friends she wouldn't. He was keeping her at arm's length because he felt that she was using him to get a green card. He's testing her intentions and questioning her sincerity. He even gave her attitude about not completing her house. She questioned him about the engraved wooden comb (weird) and he froze her out. He was hiding his criminal history from her. He didn't make a good impression on her mom or brother. And then he gets upset that she won't accept his proposal. Girl was getting whiplash trying to keep up with him. And with what is waiting for him at home, he probably won't be able to travel again so it really is now or never. 

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10 hours ago, sasha206 said:

 

Which leads me to believe the "just came out" story was producer-driven and Erika has long been "out" of the closet.

That very well could be - but what difference would it make?  That whole relationship with Erika and Stephanie is weird - at best.   I think Erika might be bi-sexual, but Stephanie comes across as frigid with both males AND females - possibly due to her inability to deal with past disappointments in relationships like she said - or that might just be her personality.  OR - this was just one big set-up for 15 minutes of fame, as they say.  But if that was the goal, I think Stephanie came across in a much different light than she had envisioned.  The majority of viewers dislike her.

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1 minute ago, Kyanight said:

. . . but Stephanie comes across as frigid with both males AND females - possibly due to her inability to deal with past disappointments in relationships like she said - or that might just be her personality.  

I've think I may have heard she has an illness.  Maybe it's the illness or the medications that make her frigid.

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9 hours ago, MrBuhBye said:

Heterosexuals typically don’t announce their orientation to their parents so I don’t know why it’s expected that LGBTQI people must do so.  Further, most people don’t discuss their sex lives with their parents (or vice versa).  I think if you are in a committed relationship and/or living with someone it would be dodgy to hide that.  And based on whom the significant other is the parents may make inferences about orientation.  But there does not need to be an announcement ceremony and official approval from the parents in order for orientation to be valid.

VERY WELL STATED!!

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(edited)
9 hours ago, Mrs. Hanson said:
9 hours ago, AZChristian said:

As soon as he said, "Okay.  I'm the bad guy," I turned to hubby and said, "Wow.  One of these 90-Dayers FINALLY had a moment of self-awareness!"

 

I totally hear you - but - was he really acknowledging he was a bad guy or was he trying to get Rose to pity him?

I say neither.  I think Ed TOTALLY thinks HE is the "good guy" and Rose is at fault for having bad breath/hairy legs/leaky roof/hot country/monkeys/ocean water with sand/she wants kids/wonky electricity/20 thread count bed sheets/a son/chickens in the kitchen/sister asking for money/sickly rats in the house/a father who is a cock block/same father who insists on "showering" with him/ - was there anything else he whined about, or does that about cover it?  He doesn't for a MINUTE think he was the bad guy.  He is just trying to make a point that he is understanding what Rose is saying to him - "****I***** am the bad guy?  OK, I'm the bad guy".  And then he stomps off in a huge huff (have you ever seen him move so fast????) because HE was the one who is constantly "wronged".   In his mind he is most certainly NOT the bad guy in this picture.

Edited by Kyanight
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1 hour ago, bravofan27 said:

My mind was blown when I saw Lana at the end. BUT, when I went to watch ON DEMAND, they had edited her out. So they just show David saying, "there she is!" and then it cuts to previews. I was pretty disappointed cuz I wanted to get a good look at this lady. The glimpse of her I saw when the show was airing, did look like her, she looked excited, but also confused. I wanted to rewatch.

Props to 90 day producers for making that happen. Shame for editing it out of the reruns!

I think originally it was going to be a cliffhanger. Then the Tell All was leaked and we all had found out about Lana so they edited into the episode since there was no reason to hide it. They just forgot to send the new version to some of the platforms. I think it's pretty obvious when you watch Pillow Talk because Tim and Veronica had to quicky film a new reaction and they look a little different from how they looked in the rest of the episode. 

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I in no way want them together, but what the hell is wrong with Geoffrey?  A woman doesn't want to marry you after a few months of a virtual relationship and like 10 days in person?  Ludicrous!  Or, you know, rational.  Has he even told her about his relationship history? 

Varya is the only one I really like this whole season.  Avery isn't horrible, and I like Erika now more than I did, but Varya is the only one never to make me grumpy.  I'd totally hang out with her, wear banya hats, and get drunk.

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Sian and Avery's conversation sounded like they were discussing Ash as though he was a child that Avery would be baby-sitting. Sian seems very motherly toward Ash and she probably spoiled him a lot when they were married. It sort of sounds like she just got tired of him and wants to raise her child her own way, and so she got rid of the adult child.

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10 hours ago, MrBuhBye said:

Heterosexuals typically don’t announce their orientation to their parents so I don’t know why it’s expected that LGBTQI people must do so.  Further, most people don’t discuss their sex lives with their parents (or vice versa).  I think if you are in a committed relationship and/or living with someone it would be dodgy to hide that.  And based on whom the significant other is the parents may make inferences about orientation.  But there does not need to be an announcement ceremony and official approval from the parents in order for orientation to be valid.

Sometimes it's just about being open and honest.  I've had my parents sit me down and tell me that it would be perfectly fine with them if I were a lesbian.  It was very sweet and loving of them, but alas, I do prefer men.

But I think orientation and other aspects of sexuality are different animals.  I watched an episode of True Life on MTV and this dude had a dramatic dinner with his family where he announced that he was a "chubby chaser".  That was so weird to me.  Like I get how it might be nice if your family had a heads up you were bringing home a romantic partner of the same gender, but I'm sure they'd be super happy not knowing you were into spanking.

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6 minutes ago, Kangatush said:

Sometimes it's just about being open and honest.  I've had my parents sit me down and tell me that it would be perfectly fine with them if I were a lesbian.  It was very sweet and loving of them, but alas, I do prefer men.

But I think orientation and other aspects of sexuality are different animals.  I watched an episode of True Life on MTV and this dude had a dramatic dinner with his family where he announced that he was a "chubby chaser".  That was so weird to me.  Like I get how it might be nice if your family had a heads up you were bringing home a romantic partner of the same gender, but I'm sure they'd be super happy not knowing you were into spanking.

Or that you call your partner mommy or daddy.

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