S04.E11: Private Eyes

[Kyanight]

1 minute ago, BallisticNikki said:

Big Egg is gross

And now he is hawking personalized masks to make a profit off of Covid19.

[BallisticNikki]

Soooo if a team of leading psychologists and sociologists were looking for a case study in deviant human social interaction to analyze, which of this season's couples would you suggest? Which couple do you think presents with the most profound dysfunction?🤪  

[RealReality]

3 minutes ago, BallisticNikki said:

Soooo if a team of leading psychologists and sociologists were looking for a case study in deviant human social interaction to analyze, which of this season's couples would you suggest? Which couple do you think presents with the most profound dysfunction?🤪  

David and hypothetical Lana. 

[Haute Messe]

On 5/2/2020 at 4:54 PM, RealReality said:

Her sending it back makes her look pathetic.  She should throw that garbage key in the trash.  Reaching out to Tom in any way makes it clear she still cares and wants to engage him. 

I wonder if she pulled the letter out of the trash and taped it back together.

7 hours ago, Pondlass1 said:

Too bad we won’t get the reunion show.

The only way it would be worth watching is if Kevin Frasier hosted, and that would not happen. With Shaun, we'd get two hours of "Wow".

3 hours ago, RealReality said:

 

3 hours ago, RealReality said:

FWIW, I thought erikas mom was lovely and not egregiously huge. But, I think we all can agree that maybe the cold shoulder top has had it's moment in the sun!  I wonder if the shoulder fabric that is cut out is used to make Barbie clothes?  Anyways, we should retire the whole look.  

Sing It! I have always hated them and it seems that most of the people who wear the are the ones who shouldn't. They flatter very few body types.

[Kangatush]

8 hours ago, Mrs. Hanson said:

Edited to add:  How could I forget BABYGIRL?  Lisa, look, when hubs and I went to apply for our marriage license, I took my divorce decree with me.  I was told I did not need it, only the date that it became final and where it was granted.  I thought, hmmmm....let's have it with just in case.  Why did you not think of that?  Oh yeah....rules don't apply to you and this way you can blame Usman for everything and give him him the finger as you walk away.  (So aggressive and kinda disturbing!) Lord she is so unpleasant any which you slice her.  Our screen froze for a minute when the registrar asked if she had been married before and my husband said: "He is shocked that anyone else married her!!!!"  as his face was frozen with surprise!  Usman has the patience of a saint!

This is so 100% on BGL.  I've never been married, but I can think logically.  I would have a copy of my birth certificate, passport, and a divorce decree.  I'd figure I'd need to show who I am and that I'm free to marry.  It's not rocket surgery.

And especially if she saw Usman wasn't getting the info.  

I also adored/was horrified by her bear growl when she heard the news.

[Kangatush]

7 hours ago, AZChristian said:

I honestly believe that Yolanda's walls are plastered with alternating signs that say "Inhale," "Exhale."

She's literally too stupid to remember to breathe.

I might be wrong, but I think when we first met her there was one of those stupid wall signs that did say "Breathe"  🙂

[swimmom]

3 hours ago, Matty said:

David and Yolanda are clueless seniors being catfished by fake Lana and fake Williams. They both live in Las Vegas. They should get together. They have a lot in common, are about the same age, are totally delusional and stubborn. But, no, that won't work because neither of them would think the other was "hot" enough for them or worth their time. Plus, they don't know how to deal with a real, live, "in-the-flesh" person. Two complete and utter fools!

I was thinking the same thing!

[Baltimore Betty]

6 minutes ago, swimmom said:

I was thinking the same thing!

Unfortunately David thinks he is worthy of a young hot blonde, he would never consider anything close to a normal real person that lives close by, he probably told Lana that he wants to wine and dine her, buy her pretty dresses, travel, etc...a local/real woman would know that is just not possible.

[swimmom]

Why did David hire a Private Eye and then not believe anything the man found out? He is a total idiot!

[John M]

46 minutes ago, Kangatush said:

This is so 100% on BGL.  I've never been married, but I can think logically.  I would have a copy of my birth certificate, passport, and a divorce decree.  I'd figure I'd need to show who I am and that I'm free to marry.  It's not rocket surgery.

At least in Texas you don't need any of that stuff, just your driver's license and an oath that you are free to marry.

Same with changing your name, just show the SS office and the DL office your marriage license and they just change your name like it nothing.

[Kangatush]

Just now, John M said:

At least in Texas you don't need any of that stuff, just your driver's license and an oath that you are free to marry.

Same with changing your name, just show the SS office and the DL office your marriage license and they just change your name like it nothing.

Yes, but this is internationally.  

[gingerella]

8 hours ago, 4Sibes Redux said:

David said that there had been a video “chat” that costs more, but that it is only visual. You can’t actually talk with each other. 

No talking, just visual? So the whack off package?

[Dixiesoul]

I'm sorry.  Watching from DVR.  Yolando......no one is that damned stupid.

[AZChristian]

35 minutes ago, Dixiesoul said:

I'm sorry.  Watching from DVR.  Yolando......no one is that damned stupid.

Just one person is . . . David.

[blubld43]

2 hours ago, John M said:

Aren't kids a non-negotiable thing that comes up pretty early in a relationships? I flat out told my now husband that kids were off the table when we first started our romantic relationship, that there was not point in proceeding if he wanted children because it wasn't going to be with me.

Sorry but I HATE children and I would be a terrible parent. I'm sure your children are lovely but having a child is probably the worst thing that could happen to me.

Please never feel you should apologize for not wanting children; not everyone wants to parent and that's perfectly fine.  What's never fine is deliberately misleading someone, like Ed.  I was cheering for her, I really hope she dumps Ed, and gets better opportunities from being on this show.  She can certainly do better than Ed.

[Kangatush]

4 hours ago, Honey said:

It's funny because I also got the feeling that he was getting really, really pissed off.

For the people saying that having a full garbage means he didn't just return from Russia.  Some bachelors are not exactly the cleanest people.  He probably just didn't empty the garbage before he left.

Mothra threw some ragers.

[Kangatush]

6 hours ago, Mondrianyone said:

This was without a doubt the best part of that whole unraveling. That within ten minutes of delivering his plagiarized crapfest, he his very own self disproved the whole "theory" completely and unequivocally.  It was actually a pleasure to behold.  I wouldn't have been surprised if he'd started menstruating on the spot.

I'm not going to insult him by calling him a woman since A) girl power and B) the woman was being totally rational and adult.  

He gets called out for never answering anything so he grabs his ball and goes home.

[Cabarb]

Am I the only that wonders about the timing of the Ash/Avery fight?  He has his stupid seminar and tells Avery that she is finally going to be able to meet his ex and his kid. Then he picks this huge fight. It all seems too coincidental for me. 

[AZChristian]

7 minutes ago, Kangatush said:

He gets called out for never answering anything so he grabs his ball(s) and goes home.

He has none.

[Mrs. Hanson]

48 minutes ago, blubld43 said:

Please never feel you should apologize for not wanting children; not everyone wants to parent and that's perfectly fine.  What's never fine is deliberately misleading someone, like Ed.  I was cheering for her, I really hope she dumps Ed, and gets better opportunities from being on this show.  She can certainly do better than Ed.

I agree 100%!  @John M - never ever apologize for not wanting kids.  Yes I am kinda obsessed with mine, lol, but being a parent is 24/7 from the word go and it is rewarding, but dang......it is expensive and tries your patience!  And I have chill kids!!!  I would say that when things were getting serious I would ask that question, but in a way that he had to be honest, never giving my thoughts on it:  "Do you want kids, 1 or 2, yes or no?"    Let me tell you this:  Double income no kids?  You get to make A LOT of decisions that I don't get to make, lol!!

[Stinamaia]

On 5/2/2020 at 2:27 AM, RealReality said:

I cannot even begin to imagine.  I think I saw a picture the other day of some unmasked deranged looking guy right in an officers face. 

I won't get too far into the weeds but it's disappointing that people seem to be getting away with blatantly violating lawful orders. 

No constitutional right is absolute.   I cannot think of a single one.

Edited May 5, 2020 by Stinamaia
I messed this up somehow

[Mondrianyone]

Just now, Kangatush said:

I'm not going to insult him by calling him a woman since A) girl power and B) the woman was being totally rational and adult.  

I'm sure you know that was meant ironically. The fact that the roles were reversed according to his idiotic definitions was the whole point. Calling someone a real woman could never be an insult.

[the-grey-lady]

Why did David ever bother hiring a PI in the first place?

David: What did you find out about Lana? How much does she love me? Eleventy-billion?

PI: We didn't find her, exactly. Your "Lana" pictures are all over the Internet.

David: Nope.

PI: Seriously, dude. "Lana" is on five dozen dating sites.

David: No. Not true.

PI: Erm, this is a really common scam in Russia.

David: YOU DON'T KNOW LANA LIKE I DO. SHE SENDS ME HEART EMOJIS.

PI: I'm out. Best of luck, homeslice.

Edited May 5, 2020 by the-grey-lady

[BradandJanet]

Ash gives me the creeps. When his mouth spews the gaslighting bullshit and his bulging eyes dart all over the place, I think his head is going to start spinning. I advise Avery to look for a priest. 

Yolanda and David should get together. They're a perfect match of delusion and denseness. Of course, each would find the other much too old and too plain for the kind of match they rightly deserve. 

I wouldn't normally suggest this, but Rosemarie should charge a good amount of food, drink, and boutique beachwear to Egg's bill at the resort and then leave. Tant pis. He's become insufferable. 

Poor Usman is doomed. His mama is right to worry. 

[Texasmom1970]

To sum up this episode WTF.

Tom - go away we are sick of you trying to strike a pose and extend your 15 minutes.

Varya - you seem like an intelligent woman, please run!

Ed - you ought too be worshipping Rose maries hairy legs, you are letting your ego get inflated. Everyone knows she could do better.

David and Yolanda - I just cant even! If you look up the world delusional there will be a photo of him in a polo shirt petting his cat. then her sporting her hubcap earrings with an dumbfounded look on her face.

Avery - Be prepared the more upset Ash gets his eyes look scarier. Waiting for one to roll out on the floor.

Usman - We know you want to come to the U.S. but damn man isnt there another way!

Stephanie - I am a heterosexual woman and have had more experience with women than you. 

Producers - please warn us before shots of Ed half dressed. I am not fat shaming, my figure is not perfect but we have seen enough.

[deirdra]

3 hours ago, Kangatush said:

Mothra threw some ragers.

She was saying "Where have you been? I'm the only one who has been loyal to you!"

[Lily247]

4 hours ago, gingerella said:

No talking, just visual? So the whack off package?

Sounds like a smiling, blinking hologram

[mamadrama]

Well, now I know why my tweet about the episode went viral...I made Soapdirt, y'all! 

 

https://soapdirt.com/90-day-fiance-tom-brooks-lisa-hamme-double-team/

[Kangatush]

3 hours ago, Mondrianyone said:

I'm sure you know that was meant ironically. The fact that the roles were reversed according to his idiotic definitions was the whole point. Calling someone a real woman could never be an insult.

We're good.

[mamadrama]

13 hours ago, 4Sibes Redux said:

David said that there had been a video “chat” that costs more, but that it is only visual. You can’t actually talk with each other. 

I'd like to see this video. I wonder if she responded to him in any way. When he asked a question, did she nod? Give any indication that he was there and she could see him? Because otherwise this could've been any random, generic video of her. 

[RealReality]

59 minutes ago, mamadrama said:

Well, now I know why my tweet about the episode went viral...I made Soapdirt, y'all! 

 

https://soapdirt.com/90-day-fiance-tom-brooks-lisa-hamme-double-team/

Wow! Big-time!  Are you gonna go all Tom now and start doing cameos?

[mamadrama]

17 minutes ago, RealReality said:

Wow! Big-time!  Are you gonna go all Tom now and start doing cameos?

Uh, yeah. After all, I AM an influencer now. Stay tuned for my ambassador posts for weightloss tea, MLM business ops, and my collection of cheap lingerie (drop shipped from South Korea, of course). Now I'm off to steal some stock photos so that everyone can be amazed at my fabulous life. 

[RealReality]

5 minutes ago, mamadrama said:

Uh, yeah. After all, I AM an influencer now. Stay tuned for my ambassador posts for weightloss tea, MLM business ops, and my collection of cheap lingerie (drop shipped from South Korea, of course). Now I'm off to steal some stock photos so that everyone can be amazed at my fabulous life. 

You know youve arrived when you start repping diarrhea tea.  It's all champagne wishes and caviar dreams!*

*- as long as the images of champagne and caviar are not copyrighted. 

[Kareem]

2 hours ago, mamadrama said:

Well, now I know why my tweet about the episode went viral...I made Soapdirt, y'all! 

 

https://soapdirt.com/90-day-fiance-tom-brooks-lisa-hamme-double-team/

This is great!  You’ve been hitting them out of the park all season.

[mamadrama]

3 minutes ago, Kareem said:

This is great!  You’ve been hitting them out of the park all season.

Thanks. It's this quarantine. It's gotten me a little fiesty.

[Kareem]

1 hour ago, mamadrama said:

Thanks. It's this quarantine. It's gotten me a little fiesty.

Feisty, fair and accurate.  Enjoying them!
Be well, be safe.  

[winsomeone]

I just wish Rose had told Ed that he is fat, ugly, and that his hair stinks.

[Gobi]

6 hours ago, mamadrama said:

Well, now I know why my tweet about the episode went viral...I made Soapdirt, y'all! 

 

https://soapdirt.com/90-day-fiance-tom-brooks-lisa-hamme-double-team/

Congratulations! Your fifteen minutes have begun.

[Baltimore Betty]

6 hours ago, mamadrama said:

Well, now I know why my tweet about the episode went viral...I made Soapdirt, y'all! 

 

https://soapdirt.com/90-day-fiance-tom-brooks-lisa-hamme-double-team/

So proud of you! Keep on snarking!

[Baltimore Betty]

6 hours ago, mamadrama said:

I'd like to see this video. I wonder if she responded to him in any way. When he asked a question, did she nod? Give any indication that he was there and she could see him? Because otherwise this could've been any random, generic video of her. 

My guess is that it is a poorly lit, shaky camera video and the only dialogue is something like a garbled, "Hello my love, you are my king," then it cuts off unceremoniously.  

[Hangin Out]

On 5/4/2020 at 1:41 AM, RealReality said:

I agree!! I never need to see Darcy, Stacy, Tom or Jesse ever again!!!

Oh YES!  I’m so sick of them all.  The sisters have had it, all bloated up, and Tom .. I can’t even.  Go back to where you came from.  We have enough wannabe actors and models here.

[fountain]

On 5/2/2020 at 1:48 AM, kendi said:

I'm an essential worker - a civilian at the PD and everyday I am emotionally drained. The stress on people's faces, the disrespect to officers and orders...it's really quite sickening. I'm pretty much planted in my office all day but when I do have to interact with others, it's so somber. I've had some pretty shitty days when I just go home and cry. I'm very grateful that I'm working and have a steady paycheck and my family is healthy but the emotional toll is heavy. I hope you all have a support system or have found outlets to get that angst out. Watching trash TV is my outlet. My cousin is friends with Ed's friend Rich. She's met him before and all she would say is that he's very odd. I don't know what I'd do if I ever saw him in person.  I'm on the lookout for Ed, motoring by on a scooter with Teddy.

I think in times like these some people rise to the occasion and some show they are really assholes. It is nice to have work but definitely emotionally tolling. In my case I am kind of sick of clients thinking we can make a 24 hour day into 48 hours. We are working in a different world now and we are short staffed due to Covid, give us a break! Anyway I wish you the best at work hopefully it gets better soon. 

This show is just so crazy now. No one is really likeable this season and some situations like with Williams seem like they have to be staged. I mean Yolanda (I think that is the right name) has been catfished how is that a relationship? The catfish ones are really reaching to align with the theme of the show. 

[Mrs. Hanson]

On 5/3/2020 at 5:04 PM, iwasish said:

I doubt she’ll come out to her family. Erica seems to be a way to a come up.

This needs to be attributed to @AussieBabe, but I agree, Steph will never come out to her family because she is as straight as a ruler!!!

[Kyanight]

8 hours ago, Lily247 said:

13 hours ago, gingerella said:

No talking, just visual? So the whack off package?

Sounds like a smiling, blinking hologram

Or a devil emoji!!   Be still my beating heart - now I am SOOOOO turned on!  I see what David is talking about now!

[Jeanne222]

13 hours ago, LadyoftheLake23 said:

Guys, I was dealt a HUGE blow last night: right in the middle of the episode TLC cut out on me for some reason! Had to call Spectrum, who had to reboot remotely. Got it back up and running after about 10-15 long minutes only to have it crap out again, so I tried manually rebooting my box only to get an error message. I called again, only to have to sit on hold for a long time before getting a rep who sent a reboot signal from her computer. Box rebooted, TLC came back, she examined everything on her end and pronounced my cable box "healthy" (???) and all was well the rest of the evening - but I missed about 30-40 minutes of the show! OTOH, from reading your comments I gather I missed Geoffrey's naked blurred out arse, so maybe it wasn't that big of a blow!

My $.02 on what I saw:

Big Egg and Rosemarie: I was screaming "You go girl!" at my TV when she calmly went down her list of grievances with him.  I suspect he's the kind of guy that if she dumps him (which I hope to God she does) he'll go home to SD and tell everyone she dumped him because he was too short, his neck thing or something, anything but the truth. Or at least he'll tell himself that.

Avery and Ash: As many of you have already mentioned, yes, it weas hilarious how he proved himself wrong on his male/female philosophies by snivelling in the hallway. Women are emotional and men aren't indeed! And I just loved how she sat there calmly and didn't give in to him. I think that drove him bats--t crazy the most. He was using his perfected manipulation techniques and they didn't work. Am I the only one who's noticed his reaction when he's challenged? He gets an sort of deer in the headlights expression and just freezes for a few seconds like he's been thrown off script and has to think about how to respond. When he does it's usually to contradict the person challenging him and get angry if they're still not buying what he's selling. Avery needs to get on the next plane out of Mel-bunn.

Darcy and Tom: I'm going to share my take on the whole thing here. I think Tom has been trying desperately to get some sort of reaction out of Darcy. Like her infamous reaction during her NYC break-up with Jesse. And it killed him when he didn't get that at their NYC meetup (the "have you gained weight?" line he threw at her as she was walking out was a desperate attempt at getting SOMETHING out of her). Hence, he couldn't just get back on a plane to the UK (or up to Toronto) but had to show up in CT. (BTW, I believe Darcy knew he was on his way thanks to their segment producer and she and Stacy planned out everything, from Stacy answering to Darcy refusing to take the letter.)  See, I think he really did/does have feelings for her, hated that he was her second choice after Jesse, and wanted or needed to get that reaction out of her to somehow prove to himself that he meant as much to her as Jesse. Now, I also have to say that I respect his attitude about building a relationship over time and not jumping into insta-engagement. And I'm so glad that many of you saw it too - that Shannon is a Darcy look-alike who's just not as far along in the plastic journey as Darcy is! I hope I never have to see Tom on my screen again.

Erika and Stephanie: TLC cut out on me on their trip to Erika's parents, but was back by the time she actually came out. Her parents were just the sweetest! Mom totally knew, though! When Erika was trying to spit it out she has this kind of excited look on her face like "Yes? Yes? It's okay, dear, you can tell us!" Totally cracked me up. 

Geoffrey and Varya: Also missed some of them, and it's a good thing I guess! Did see the picnic table proposal though, and hope she says no. Also, for those of you down on TLC/Sharp for including them: I wonder of the ex he went Evander Holyfield on found out he was filming for the show and decided to file charges to protect Varya and the bulk of the filming was done? Oh, who am I kidding? Sharp totally plans a surprise (not) twist at the end where they'll tell he was charged with domestic violence and Varya dumped him. 

David and Yolanda: I didn't think it was possible for anyone to be that stupid. But desperation and embarassment combined can be a potent inducement for denial. Wouldn't be suprised if they were both just putting on an act for the cameras to avoid admitting their stupidity to a nationwide audience!

Almost forgot BGL and poor Usman: If he comes over here he's in for a huge surprise. A few years back there was this show on another network called The Rap Game (I think) and it was a reality competition show where wannabees competed for a contract with a supposedly big-name rap producer. I'm no rap expert, and only got sucked in when the show came on after another show I was watching, but I saw enough to know that the producer on that show would laugh his kiester off at Usman's autotuned stylings. He's got no chance at a career here and will have hitched himself to a harridan who expects to be serviced (sans protection) on the regular. Not to mention the racism we all know he'll experience here the US of A. Run Usman, run!

Sorry to be so long - that's m y usual MO with writing about anything!

 

 

I dunno but if Jesse has found a career as a motivational speaker in nursing homes perhaps there will be something for Useman!   LOl

[Kyanight]

8 hours ago, mamadrama said:

Well, now I know why my tweet about the episode went viral...I made Soapdirt, y'all! 

 

https://soapdirt.com/90-day-fiance-tom-brooks-lisa-hamme-double-team/

:::::Standing applesauce::::::   and that was a GREAT quote, too!!

[Kyanight]

1 hour ago, Baltimore Betty said:

My guess is that it is a poorly lit, shaky camera video and the only dialogue is something like a garbled, "Hello my love, you are my king," then it cuts off unceremoniously.  

No, David did say in one of the first episodes that she doesn't speak a word of English.  And apparently after all these years he hasn't bothered to learn more than a word or two of Russian.  So basically they just look at each other and smile and send devil emojis which means orgasm.  All of which he already has with his blow up doll.

[AZChristian]

29 minutes ago, Mrs. Hanson said:

This needs to be attributed to @AussieBabe, but I agree, Steph will never come out to her family because she is as straight as a ruler!!!

Steph meets up with parents to "come out" to them:

"Mom?  Dad?  I have to tell you something about my sexual preference.  I pretended to be bi-sexual to get cast on 90-Day Fiance.  But I never really had sex with Rainbow Brite, so that's proof that I'm not.  Gotta run now to flash my boobies on youtube."

[configdotsys]

Boring episode...

I was so hoping that guy in the marriage office would have channeled Judge Judy and said "Where'd you think you were coming today? the beach?" when Bibbygirl said she did not bring her divorce papers with her. Their story is becoming so repetitive and snooze worthy. They're gonna marry. Oh wait, mom doesn't approve. Several times. Cue the dramatic music. Mommy relents. Yay. Usman is head of household. Lisa is pissed. They argue over that several times. It's just the same shit over and over. How many times has bibbygirl said something like "this marriage may never happen"? 

Fat dirtbag Ed is the most vile, gross pig ever for what he did to Rose. A disgusting waste of a human being. Run Rose!

Stephanie and Erika: FF, not interested.

Geoffrey and Varya, boring. 

David: FF. Stupid clown deserves whatever he gets.

I can't remember the name of the woman chasing Weeyams but she's another moron that I fast forward past because of the sheer stupidity. 

Darcy: There is something about Darcy that makes me sad. Part of me feels so bad that she believes that in order to secure a husband she needs to jump in the sack in a second and have all this work done that makes her look awful. I think under all of that she is a nice person that just wants to be loved. But boy has she been going about it the wrong way. 

Tom: Go home, you're not shit. His swagger is nauseating. 

Ash still gives psycho vibes. Love how he turned it all around and addressed none of Avery's questions or concerns. It was all about how she made him feel and a litany of things that she did to him. The teary eyed scene reminded me of Michael from Married at First sight. Those tears are just a tool to be used when needed.

[AZChristian]

8 minutes ago, configdotsys said:

I can't remember the name of the woman chasing Weeyams but she's another moron that I fast forward past because of the sheer stupidity. 

Join the club.  I have to actually look it up any time I want to mention her by name.  Couldn't tell you what it is right now, because I haven't looked it up yet today.