S11.E09: This Land is Your Land...or Hers?

[deirdra]

30 minutes ago, xwordfanatik said:

Meri has never wanted 8 kids IMO.  She pretends that so she'll get her way, on every cotton-picking thing!  Poor me, I should get first shot at EVERYTHINGK, because I can't be Fertile Myrtle, and give Kootie more spirit babies!  More entitled bitches like More-iah, is more like it.

Bitch on wheels.  Forever and always.  I'd go insane dilling with her.

If God turns spirit babies into real babies, wouldn't it be God's will that Meri only had one entitled bitch?  

[Irate Panda]

27 minutes ago, xwordfanatik said:

Meri has never wanted 8 kids IMO.  She pretends that so she'll get her way, on every cotton-picking thing!  Poor me, I should get first shot at EVERYTHINGK, because I can't be Fertile Myrtle, and give Kootie more spirit babies!  More entitled bitches like More-iah, is more like it.

Bitch on wheels.  Forever and always.  I'd go insane dilling with her.

 

I don’t know how many kids Meri really wanted, but whatever the number those kids would have traipsed wherever they chose and pouted in the middle of the cul de sac, in cars just like poor lil Mariah. I’m not sure if they’d be posting about cute reproductive organs, but seems likely.  I’d like to believe at least one would have decent eyebrows. Just a wish of mine.

[AZChristian]

14 minutes ago, DakotaJustice said:

Robyn should be encouraging Dayton to spread his wings, but they need him around as a plot Robyn's manipulating device, dontcha know.

FIFY.

[Kyanight]

10 minutes ago, DakotaJustice said:

I've mentioned before I knew at least one person in his late 40s who's on the spectrum and able to function on his own. 

Robyn should be encouraging Dayton to spread his wings, but they need him around as a plot device, dontcha know.

One of my sons is on the spectrum - diagnosed at JFK in Denver - not by some holistic friend of mine as other people have had done. ::::coughcough::::   He does great but it's like pushing on an elephant's ass to get him to move when you need him to do something he's hesitant to do.  Like getting a driver's license.  He had a great job opportunity but he had to be able to drive a company truck - so when he was 18 I had to MAKE him go to the DMV and get his license.  He had been practice driving for years but just wouldn't make that step.  He really needed that push to branch out and try something if he was afraid to do it.  He ALMOST got his college degree but wasn't sure what he wanted to do.  He actually ended up with a great job (and chances for promotions and he's BEEN promoted) in a company WITHOUT having his college degree.  (Thank goodness!)  To bring this back to Dayton - he might NEED encouragement and pushes in the right direction if he has expressed an interest in something (such as attending college).  Encourage ... support... love....but don't hold him back because YOU might have some insecurities of what he can or cannot do. 

My favorite cartoon from DECADES ago was one where Garfield and Odie were romping around the yard, chasing each other.  Odie and Garfield both ran up a tree and were sitting there on a high branch when Jon (the owner) saw them and shouted up:  "Hey, Odie!!  Dogs can't climb trees!"  Garfield then had a thought bubble over his head (since he can't really talk to Jon) which said:  "It's amazing what you can accomplish when you don't know what you CAN'T do!"    I always loved that.

[Irate Panda]

2 hours ago, Kyanight said:

We cannot even know Dayton's GPA or how well he did on his ACT/SAT.  (Is that even a requirement for acceptance any more?)  There is also essays that need to be written to be accepted - every teen isn't accepted every place they apply - not to mention it costs between $50 (which is the VERY low end) to $100 and more to apply anywhere - and it is not returned.  I doubt Dayton applied THAT many places - and if he had possessed a stellar GPA and done very well on any tests I doubt Robyn would be so worried that Dayton couldn't manage on his own.  He's not a child any more - he's a young adult.  

It's true, we don't know this for a fact.  But it was "telling" that as soon as the deadline passed for acceptance to colleges, the Browns had to move immediately - and to an area known for a very high cost of living.  Do you honestly believe that if Dayton had been accepted to UNLV, the family would have moved to Flagstaff?  Not to mention Robyn DID say that Dayton needed to live at home to adjust to college life... and I don't know how he could have done that if Robyn didn't live in that particular town.

Day’un graduated with a honors and an advance high school diploma, as far as why he chose a school in Arizona, I have no idea.  I think Robyn limits Day’un more than Day’un does.  Maybe because of his developmental condition she is just overprotective.  I will say at least she goes to bat for her kids and doesn’t trade their academic hopes and dreams for a “pond”.

[Soup333]

34 minutes ago, kimaken said:

The conflict between Meri and Janelle isn't because Meri's "a bitch on wheels" -- Janelle was MARRIED to Meri's brother, but, she divorced her husband to chase (and catch) Kody.

Judging by the comments here, if Kody's smart, he'll keep the "hate on Meri train" rolling as long as he can to keep the show going. The catfish story gave this show a boost back then, and now all the hate towards Meri is keeping people tuned in to watch the infighting, waiting breathlessly to see if she leaves the family or gets kicked to curb. It's definitely more interesting than weddings and babies.

Whatever the origin of the conflict was, all of them have acknowledged at one time at another that Meri wasn’t easy to get along with in the beginning. Kody state’s outright in this very episode that she has been acting this way for the entire marriage. He literally said “all my life.” 

[eskimo]

When Meri says things like 'I don't know, maybe I'll move to Parowan', she's totally fishing for someone to say 'Oh no! Don't say that!'  Similar scenarios play out fairly regularly.  It would breathe new life into the show if instead of the obligatory 'oh no, please don't say such a thing!' (which everybody knows is bs anyway), someone said 'so you don't really care then?  OK'.  That would shut that stupid emotional control game down right away.  Then whenever she whined about the issue of the day they could toss it back at her.  'Well you said you might move outta here so we have to plan for who we know will be here'.  Then if she pulls the 'Well, I don't know for sure what I'm planning' bit, then they can say 'we won't wait any longer Meri, shit or get off the pot'.  Then she'd probably just leave because her need to emotionally hijack people will no longer be met.  Or she'd just pick a flipping lot.  Either way it's a win. 

Kody probably really does care a lot about which plot Meri picks, because when she splits it will likely become 'his' house. 

Edited March 4, 2020 by eskimo
to clarify

[Roslyn]

22 hours ago, DakotaJustice said:

I'm not sure that's still true - that was back when Kody and Janelle were pretty much the sole breadwinners. 

I think Janelle mentioned this season that the money she made from real estate commission on the house sales (that didn't happen) would be solely her money. Maybe Christine kicks in something in that mysterious family pot after paying her mortgage and  buying more LLN inventory, but I bet Meri isn't contributing a cent. With a mortgage on the B&B, $3000 rent on her Flagstaff house, and all those solo Disneyland trips, there wouldn't be much left. 

That said, what wouldn't I give for a peek at their 1040s...

I'm sure there would be an issue if Janelle Brown sold a house owned by Christine Brown and then the commission money went back into a group account with Christine Brown's name on it.  My old Accounting professor would have called that "hinky". I suspect Janelle wanted it said out in the open, and on camera that if she was receiving a sale commission it would go to her, and she would just then draw less from the family money, to guarantee it was understood she wasn't getting a kind of kick back.  Probably the same reason Robyn felt the need to announce that her house sale money was in her account...but "in her head" it was only "family money".

And I agree...I would love a cruise through their books.

[Roslyn]

1 hour ago, Irate Panda said:

If Meri had the 8 children she wanted,  do you think those kids would have not been allowed to traipse anywhere they pleased?   

Meri wanted 100 kids so that she could have 100 friends and none of them could have ever said no to being her friend...

[Kyanight]

3 minutes ago, Roslyn said:

Meri wanted 100 kids so that she could have 100 friends and none of them could have ever said no to being her friend...

Except she had one kid and that one kid did just that.....

[Roslyn]

2 minutes ago, Kyanight said:

Except she had one kid and that one kid did just that.....

Yep...

That was me being funny. It's a quote about Michael Scott from the Office. 😁

[Kyanight]

2 minutes ago, Roslyn said:

Yep...

That was me being funny. It's a quote about Michael Scott from the Office. 😁

OHHHHHH!  I never watched that show!!  (Now I feel stoopid......)  lol

[Tabbygirl521]

2 hours ago, Kohola3 said:

And it was posted that Day'n had spent, what, a couple of weeks out camping on his own the summer before college. Alone.  No mommy hovering over him. By himself.  But he can't go to a college with students that have the same issues?

Can anyone point me to where Robyn expresses concern about Dayton being on his own at college? I can’t find the original quote, although it’s referenced here a lot. 

[LuvMyShows]

1 hour ago, Adiba said:

Yes, she is really frustrating in how she communicates—how she goes around in circles and doesn’t just come out and say things. However, choosing not to decide right now IS a choice, imo. 
Just say to Kody, “I ‘m not ready to decide right now until I have more information. The surveyor has not been here, and I need to know about where septic fields will be and drainage issues first. Why do you need a decision right now before technical logistics have been addressed?”

But that contains a fatal flaw, which is to assume that Meri actually has those concerns and that they are the reason she is choosing not to decide.  Meri is outspoken and if she had those concerns, then she would have mentioned them.  Her 'decision' not to decide is just her default mode and has nothing to do with the merits of whatever is being discussed.  It's all about control and attention.

[Kyanight]

6 minutes ago, Tabbygirl521 said:

Can anyone point me to where Robyn expresses concern about Dayton being on his own at college? I can’t find the original quote, although it’s referenced here a lot. 

I thought she said it on an episode.

[Tabbygirl521]

2 hours ago, Kyanight said:

Exactly!  And did you (and everyone else) immediately think - HOW LONG DO YOU FREAKING NEED????  Because they bought the land HOW long ago... and even if they are trying to pretend that they just bought the land... Meri has had weeks or months even on THAT timeline to "think" about where she wants to plop her ass.   If ANYONE doesn't think that this is all about control, they need their heads examined.   Meri could have thought about it when she was standing there talking with everyone and given an answer.  This isn't exactly rocket science.  Pick a spot.  You don't have to manufacture a nuke by memory!

But what was the rush? As Christine said, they hadn’t even had the land surveyed yet.

Meri knows Kody very well; maybe she’s sick of everyone having to run around like their hair’s on fire because Kody got ANOTHER “idea.” I also can totally understand if she wants to relish a little control in this situation. She’s already been commanded to divorce her husband and pretend not to care when he married his shiny new girlfriend. 

And sure enough, Kody - behind their backs as usual - is talking to “his” lawyer and all of a sudden he wants to build RENTALS there and conveniently God is telling him they need to BUY houses now.

I don’t blame Robyn one bit for being irritated. If Kody gets his way she will be tied to a mortgage somewhere random. I actually do believe she wants another arrangement similar to LV and now they seem to be ditching that idea. I’ll add that I don’t believe she instigated the move from LV, either. 

[Roslyn]

2 minutes ago, Tabbygirl521 said:

Can anyone point me to where Robyn expresses concern about Dayton being on his own at college? I can’t find the original quote, although it’s referenced here a lot. 

While it isn't an exact quote, during the Great Browns Need to Move Presentation that Kody gave last season, Robyn gave a little speech about how yes...if they are going to move it needs to be soon.  She needs to make the decisions with Dayton about his college and she needs to be close to him to settle him into college.

I agree that we will never fully be positive that is why they chose Flagstaff, there has been enough "hmmm" moments including the general timeline.  They talked about moving in March ish, but were buying land the first of June.  And Dayton magickly got himself applied, accepted and enrolled into the Arizona uni within that time.  Comparing my daughter's university experience, she had to apply the year before and by March of the year she began uni (Her senior year of HS) she had to put money down to ensure her spot.

If the Browns chose Flagstaff in June by buying land and THEN Dayton applied etc, that seems off the timeline of most universities.  In my opinion Kody was pressuring them to move and Robyn caved and said if she HAD to move she was following Dayton because he wanted to go to Flagstaff AZ for uni because of their special programs for autism.

[Tabbygirl521]

1 hour ago, Soup333 said:

Whatever the origin of the conflict was, all of them have acknowledged at one time at another that Meri wasn’t easy to get along with in the beginning. Kody state’s outright in this very episode that she has been acting this way for the entire marriage. He literally said “all my life.” 

Kody has a hell of a nerve, complaining about people changing their minds. He was projecting, IMO. 

[Roslyn]

33 minutes ago, Kyanight said:

OHHHHHH!  I never watched that show!!  (Now I feel stoopid......)  lol

Oh my...don't feel stoopid!! I'm filled with obscure quotes from the Office. 😉 There is pretty much a quote to fill just about any situation.

A couple of years ago a local city was having a "Pub Quiz" night with the Office theme.  My daughter really wanted us to go as a pair but she had big projects due in school. She and I can go back and forth with the script and quotes.  It's been a family favorite show for a very long time....tho I am the only one who loves the British one as well.

[Sandy W]

8 minutes ago, Roslyn said:

Oh my...don't feel stoopid!! I'm filled with obscure quotes from the Office. 😉 There is pretty much a quote to fill just about any situation.

A couple of years ago a local city was having a "Pub Quiz" night with the Office theme.  My daughter really wanted us to go as a pair but she had big projects due in school. She and I can go back and forth with the script and quotes.  It's been a family favorite show for a very long time....tho I am the only one who loves the British one as well.

One of my all time favorite episodes was when Elaine was trying to decide if a new bf was sponge worthy.

[Roslyn]

6 minutes ago, Sandy W said:

One of my all time favorite episodes was when Elaine was trying to decide if a new bf was sponge worthy.

Um. Seinfeld?

[Sandy W]

2 minutes ago, Roslyn said:

Um. Seinfeld?

OOOOhhh! Right!  I got my all time favorite shows mixed.  Sorry about that. 😬

[crimson23]

2 hours ago, Adiba said:

Instead, Meri stares at Kody, turning red ( at Christine’s house) and he glares back at her like he’s ready to murder. Very dysfunctional. Adding fuel to the fire is St. Robyn the Martyr and Janelle and Christine hopping on the Kody bandwagon. There was no way there was going to be a resolution with that dynamic.

I

Right, it was clear from the moment that Meri walked into Christine's house that she wasn't interested in being there, let alone compromising. She had the glare going, sitting on her phone, ordering Christine to call Kody. You could feel the discomfort in the room thru the tv screen.   Just like a few seasons ago, when Christine told her she brings a lot of baggage in the room.   Still  true.

[Tabbygirl521]

29 minutes ago, Roslyn said:

Oh my...don't feel stoopid!! I'm filled with obscure quotes from the Office. 😉 There is pretty much a quote to fill just about any situation.

A couple of years ago a local city was having a "Pub Quiz" night with the Office theme.  My daughter really wanted us to go as a pair but she had big projects due in school. She and I can go back and forth with the script and quotes.  It's been a family favorite show for a very long time....tho I am the only one who loves the British one as well.

I’m crazy about the British “Office.” i think my very favorite memory from that is:

Topic? I would marry David Brent before I married Kody. 

[kimaken]

1 hour ago, Soup333 said:

Kody state’s outright in this very episode that she has been acting this way for the entire marriage. He literally said “all my life.” 

Of course Kody would say that--he's the one who gets to have a bunch of side pieces while Meri's supposed to smile and be sweet all the time. She was his legal (and only) wife for at least 3 years before Janelle--I wonder if she really wanted a sister wifer after having grown up in a huge polygamous family, or if it was Kody's wish/demand so she went along with it. I can see where a lot of anger and resentment would build, plus the first sister wife dumping her own hubby, who was Meri's brother, would just heap more anger/resentment on top of it.

[Delete]

How to settle the land dispute:

Buy 4 modular homes, and plop them each on a section of land. Get a hat, put the wives names in it and pull the names. First name, gets first pick of what home they want, rinse & repeat. Easy peasy. 

None of them need big houses anymore. If they have large family gathering they can rent out a community hall. 

They're such lame losers and most people in the real world would never dig themselves into such a financial pit. The grifters have to grift. No doubt Coyote Poop Pass will be left in the dust and sold off in an auction. The Travelling Sister Skanks and Sperm donor will be off to another state to grift. 

 

Edited March 4, 2020 by Barbara Please

[TurtlePower]

2 hours ago, DakotaJustice said:

I've mentioned before I knew at least one person in his late 40s who's on the spectrum and able to function on his own. 

Robyn should be encouraging Dayton to spread his wings, but they need him around as a plot device, dontcha know.

Everyone on the spectrum is different. It’s hard to know what Dayton’s situation is. I know for me (being asd) it’s super hard to get by in public and it’s nice to be able to come home and be myself around people who won’t judge me. 

As far as Dayton’s being able to go camping on his own, that’s easier. You’re.......alone. You can be yourself. College? Not so much. I excelled in college mainly because I went straight back to a quiet home.  I’d never had made it had I been in a dorm situation. 

Edited March 4, 2020 by TurtlePower
Autocorrect was wrong

[Adiba]

1 hour ago, LuvMyShows said:

But that contains a fatal flaw, which is to assume that Meri actually has those concerns and that they are the reason she is choosing not to decide.  Meri is outspoken and if she had those concerns, then she would have mentioned them.  Her 'decision' not to decide is just her default mode and has nothing to do with the merits of whatever is being discussed.  It's all about control and attention.

Yes, I did make that assumption when Meri said she has to "do more research" before she decides. However, I don't disagree that it is also about control and attention--I do think that is Meri's M.O. often. 

I do not think Meri is easy to get along with in the family--I am not a Meri fan based on the show, really. However, I have to see some side of the story from her point of view. In my opinion, KODY is a large part of the problem regarding the communication in that family.

He changes plans mid-stream and then acts as if everything must be done NOW. And if one of his wives disagrees,  she is accused of not having an open mind. If the plan goes sideways, he blames the wives. If the wives get along, he is not happy and thinks they are "ganging up" on him. If the wives disagree, he is not happy and "stressed" out it. 

[Emma C]

Sorry if this has been mentioned already....

The only somewhat relatable/impressive thing that happened on this episode is Robyn, pointing at the mountains and saying "I will NEVER complain about this".... finally, one of them realizes gratitude.

[Adeejay]

18 hours ago, AryasMum said:

How they couldn’t figure out to put Janelle and Christine in the connecting apartments, knowing that Christine would have Janelle’s kids every day, is beyond me.  They really can’t grasp the fundamentals - even Janelle. 

As the First Wife and HBIC, Meri would never take the basement apartment.  She would complain constantly about the lack of sunlight and noise over her head.  Heck, the only reason she allowed Janelle to have almost half the house was because it was her money that bought the place. And, Janelle had to add her name and Kody's to the deed. 

[LilaFowler]

54 minutes ago, Emma C said:

Sorry if this has been mentioned already....

The only somewhat relatable/impressive thing that happened on this episode is Robyn, pointing at the mountains and saying "I will NEVER complain about this".... finally, one of them realizes gratitude.

Part of her manipulative just-grateful-to-be-here act. If it were true, why not take the spot in the woods without the crying and the drama?

[endure]

On 3/1/2020 at 7:23 PM, suzywallis said:

Kody and Meri have SO many problems.  This is just a symptom.  She really should kick him to curb and that whole, "maybe I will just move to Parawan."  She wants to.  You know it.

I totally agree and wonder why Meri just doesn't leave him, he has nothing to offer and treats her like a nobody repeatedly.  The way he called her out in front of the other wives was despicable IMO......that was not cool.  Move on Meri!

Edited March 4, 2020 by endure

[Onceafan]

Okay, counselor hat back on. Here are my thoughts on Christine and Janelle, and of course a little more on Meri and Robyn

Christine:  Although she is clearly not Meri's best friend, from what I witnessed, she is Meri's biggest ally in that blowup, not Robyn even though Robyn wants to portray to be.

First, Christine clearly acknowledges that Meri does have a victim mentality and plays games with the rest of the family. Look at this exchange. (a lot of people are talking over each other, but I could clearly hear this from Christine.)

Kody: She won't be happy till she has all of you, bowing at her feet waiting for her to decide what she wants.

Christine: Yeah, maybe she does do that.

Kody: You guys just saw it all unfold

Christine: Yeah we did. No one is saying anything different.

In a conversation with Robyn

Christine: So you feel like you don't have a choice?

Robyn: No. I'm taking what she doesn't want.

Notice that during her exchange with Robyn, Robyn has put the sole blame on Meri, claiming she gets Meri's leftovers, with no blame on either Christine or Janelle who also got to pick their piece of land before her. Robyn isn't really confronting the problem that all three got to choose before her, she is only singling out Meri's choice.

Christine is the only person while still standing on the land, says at least three times, that the family needs to start from scratch, and no one should claim any land. She also states it again a few days later when the family meets to resolve the issue. By doing this, Christine at that moment was not just blaming Meri, but actively tried to give a fair resolution in which she was giving up her claim on the property, so the family and every wife got to be heard and felt like they had a choice.

Christine clearly has had a turbulent past with Meri, which is displayed in her conversation with and talking about Janelle.

Christine: Janelle and I have always really gotten along, to say we only got along for the kids, that's not really Janelle and I. She's been super easy for me.

Reading between the lines, Christine is admitting that she and Meri, have not gotten along, and only did for the children. However even with this turbulent past with Meri, and clearly acknowledging that Meri does play games and agreeing with Kody, Christine was still mediating their family meeting, acknowledging miscommunication, and self acknowledging, that while she did talk to Kody about wanting that particular piece of land, she had not spoken to the other wives about it.

Christine was accepting some blame for the family's distance and not communicating with the other wives. She was the most level headed, the most willing to compromise, the ONLY one who accepted accountability for the miscommunication without putting the sole blame on Meri.

Kody is wrong to acknowledge Robyn as the only one apologizing and the only one being okay to be put anywhere on the land. As I discussed in my previous post Robyn is doing this for "secondary gains." She claims  she is not the victim and can't be a baby in her talking head, and yet, Robyn is the one crying, Robyn is the one who walked away from the situation, only to come back, once Meri was gone to complain to the rest of the family. Robyn freely blames Meri for getting her leftovers, and even in her apology she blames Meri. Make no mistake, Robyn was playing the victim as well as Meri, and yet was the only wife Kody gave a shout out to in the family discussion for being the most willing to live anywhere and for apologizing. This is secondary gains folks.

As for Janelle this statement sums her up pretty well, when she was talking to Robyn after Meri  left and Robyn came back.

Janelle to Robyn: I was glad when you got that place by the pond.

Janelle clearly does not trust Meri. You can say this is about the pond, but what is it really about is control. Look at the language Janelle uses throughout the episode when talking about Meri getting the plot of land with the pond.

She uses words like "jursidiction, I'm afraid, and equal rights." Janelle wants things in writing for legal purposes. This is a symptom of someone who feels that if Meri has legal control she will enforce her will, and give no consideration for the rest of the family. There are really deep rooted issues between these two that are in no way resolved. And trust me, when Meri saw this scene and what everyone said, it only goes to feed into her victim mentality and completely demolishes any chance for Janelle and Meri to ever having a trusting relationship.

As for Meri, she was asked by every family member during that episode which land she wants. Janelle even said, "Let's forget all that was told, Meri where do you want to go?

The thing is guys, when a person is so deep into victim mentality, when you place the choice back on them, they will shy away from that, and not take the empowerment, cause they will not be able to continue in their woe of problems. They will AVOID at all costs, which is exactly what she did. When her feet are held to the fire, she claims she didn't have enough time or information to make a decision at this time. That is exact, textbook response to a person of victim mentality.

In summary:

Even though she has a long, difficult relationship with Meri, Christine was still willing to compromise for her, without placing sole blame on Meri, but put the blame more on the family as a whole.

 

[texasbluebonnets]

After 14 seasons, I am finally done with this show.  I can't even stand watching 5 minutes anymore.  Thank goodness for you all. I can still be caught up to date by reading your posts without actually wasting my time watching this shit show.  Thank you all for your wonderful writing skills.  

[Granny58]

19 hours ago, Teafortwo said:

Thank you Red and thanks to Bichon also for this info. Not that I want to spend that much, but I like a vehicle that has a large square windows on the back and sides. So many cars/SUVs these days seem to have these small back windows and angled side windows that make it harder to see what's passing.

I test drove a Kia Soul and really liked the visibility.  I have no idea about its reliability though  

[sandyskyblue]

Meri: 'I don't want darkness surrounding me'

Meri reminds me of the Peanuts character Pigpen, not that she is dirty like he is, but that she carries a cloud of negativity/darkness with her....her presence, attitude and demeanor clearly show me that she is angry, defensive and negative with the way she sits, talks, looks, etc...if she doesn't want to be surrounded by darkness, she may want to work on becoming more self-aware about she comes across to others and herself, too....because darkness doesn't just come from the outside, it can radiate from someone outwardly even in the brightest sunshine

[LilaFowler]

1 hour ago, endure said:

I totally agree and wonder why Meri just doesn't leave him, he has nothing to offer and her treats her like a nobody repeatedly.  The way he called her out in front of the other wives was despicable IMO......that was not cool.  Move on Meri!

Religion, right? Their souls are bonded together forever.

[theironwoman]

On 3/3/2020 at 4:14 PM, Jeanne222 said:

Janelle told about how Meri made them go up and down stairs to get to Christine's over in the Leno house.  That had to be a problem with Janelle working and Christine home babysitting and preparing meals!

No problem for Meri as usual!

In this case, I would be inclined to agree with Meri if not for the line they've peddled about their arrangement: that these women mothered all the children. One scene that has always stood out to me was Meri interrupting Janelle's thoughts on Logan graduating to emphatically state that although Janelle gave birth to him, he was all their boy.

Yes, living in a thru-way is tough. But this is the reality and these are supposed to be children you view as your own. Communicate and put stipulations on the access if you have to like a normal, functioning family. It's not like Janelle and Christine, who were raising kids and regularly hosting each other's broods had much 'privacy' either.

Edited March 4, 2020 by theironwoman
spelling

[Mahamid Frauded Me]

1 hour ago, Onceafan said:

Okay, counselor hat back on. Here are my thoughts on Christine and Janelle, and of course a little more on Meri and Robyn

Christine:  Although she is clearly not Meri's best friend, from what I witnessed, she is Meri's biggest ally in that blowup, not Robyn even though Robyn wants to portray to be.

First, Christine clearly acknowledges that Meri does have a victim mentality and plays games with the rest of the family. Look at this exchange. (a lot of people are talking over each other, but I could clearly hear this from Christine.)

Kody: She won't be happy till she has all of you, bowing at her feet waiting for her to decide what she wants.

Christine: Yeah, maybe she does do that.

Kody: You guys just saw it all unfold

Christine: Yeah we did. No one is saying anything different.

In a conversation with Robyn

Christine: So you feel like you don't have a choice?

Robyn: No. I'm taking what she doesn't want.

Notice that during her exchange with Robyn, Robyn has put the sole blame on Meri, claiming she gets Meri's leftovers, with no blame on either Christine or Janelle who also got to pick their piece of land before her. Robyn isn't really confronting the problem that all three got to choose before her, she is only singling out Meri's choice.

Christine is the only person while still standing on the land, says at least three times, that the family needs to start from scratch, and no one should claim any land. She also states it again a few days later when the family meets to resolve the issue. By doing this, Christine at that moment was not just blaming Meri, but actively tried to give a fair resolution in which she was giving up her claim on the property, so the family and every wife got to be heard and felt like they had a choice.

Christine clearly has had a turbulent past with Meri, which is displayed in her conversation with and talking about Janelle.

Christine: Janelle and I have always really gotten along, to say we only got along for the kids, that's not really Janelle and I. She's been super easy for me.

Reading between the lines, Christine is admitting that she and Meri, have not gotten along, and only did for the children. However even with this turbulent past with Meri, and clearly acknowledging that Meri does play games and agreeing with Kody, Christine was still mediating their family meeting, acknowledging miscommunication, and self acknowledging, that while she did talk to Kody about wanting that particular piece of land, she had not spoken to the other wives about it.

Christine was accepting some blame for the family's distance and not communicating with the other wives. She was the most level headed, the most willing to compromise, the ONLY one who accepted accountability for the miscommunication without putting the sole blame on Meri.

Kody is wrong to acknowledge Robyn as the only one apologizing and the only one being okay to be put anywhere on the land. As I discussed in my previous post Robyn is doing this for "secondary gains." She claims  she is not the victim and can't be a baby in her talking head, and yet, Robyn is the one crying, Robyn is the one who walked away from the situation, only to come back, once Meri was gone to complain to the rest of the family. Robyn freely blames Meri for getting her leftovers, and even in her apology she blames Meri. Make no mistake, Robyn was playing the victim as well as Meri, and yet was the only wife Kody gave a shout out to in the family discussion for being the most willing to live anywhere and for apologizing. This is secondary gains folks.

As for Janelle this statement sums her up pretty well, when she was talking to Robyn after Meri  left and Robyn came back.

Janelle to Robyn: I was glad when you got that place by the pond.

Janelle clearly does not trust Meri. You can say this is about the pond, but what is it really about is control. Look at the language Janelle uses throughout the episode when talking about Meri getting the plot of land with the pond.

She uses words like "jursidiction, I'm afraid, and equal rights." Janelle wants things in writing for legal purposes. This is a symptom of someone who feels that if Meri has legal control she will enforce her will, and give no consideration for the rest of the family. There are really deep rooted issues between these two that are in no way resolved. And trust me, when Meri saw this scene and what everyone said, it only goes to feed into her victim mentality and completely demolishes any chance for Janelle and Meri to ever having a trusting relationship.

As for Meri, she was asked by every family member during that episode which land she wants. Janelle even said, "Let's forget all that was told, Meri where do you want to go?

The thing is guys, when a person is so deep into victim mentality, when you place the choice back on them, they will shy away from that, and not take the empowerment, cause they will not be able to continue in their woe of problems. They will AVOID at all costs, which is exactly what she did. When her feet are held to the fire, she claims she didn't have enough time or information to make a decision at this time. That is exact, textbook response to a person of victim mentality.

In summary:

Even though she has a long, difficult relationship with Meri, Christine was still willing to compromise for her, without placing sole blame on Meri, but put the blame more on the family as a whole.

 

You clearly are much better than Nancy ever was, and you too could have gotten a free trip to Galveston ( or wherever they went) 

[endure]

16 minutes ago, LilaFowler said:

Religion, right? Their souls are bonded together forever.

Maybe not, Robyn left and divorced her first husband.

[Sandy W]

9 minutes ago, endure said:

Maybe not, Robyn left and divorced her first husband.

Also Janelle divorced first husband.

[LilaFowler]

10 minutes ago, endure said:

Maybe not, Robyn left and divorced her first husband.

 

Just now, Sandy W said:

Also Janelle divorced first husband.

That's Robyn and Janelle. Meri might feel differently about divorce and their religion.

[texasbluebonnets]

13 minutes ago, endure said:

Maybe not, Robyn left and divorced her first husband.

she not only divorced her first husband, but she took his 3 kids from him as well.  Didn't she say once that they wanted to live plural (her and her first husband) but it never happened?

[Kyanight]

13 minutes ago, endure said:

Maybe not, Robyn left and divorced her first husband.

Not just that - she took away his children and made Kody their birth-father and also had her virginity restored.

[Tuxcat]

I'm all for snark and I have no problem saying that I hope Robyn and Kody are not deliberately exploiting their daughters anxiety issues on next weeks episode. However, I will not judge Robyn's parenting when it comes to Dayton. It can be absolutely exhausting to raise a child with special needs. A mother might be living in a constant state of worry because of past history.  It's simply not fair to say she "should do this or not do this" when we don't know the full extent of his problems. 

[TurtlePower]

2 hours ago, Onceafan said:

Okay, counselor hat back on. Here are my thoughts on Christine and Janelle, and of course a little more on Meri and Robyn

Christine:  Although she is clearly not Meri's best friend, from what I witnessed, she is Meri's biggest ally in that blowup, not Robyn even though Robyn wants to portray to be.

First, Christine clearly acknowledges that Meri does have a victim mentality and plays games with the rest of the family. Look at this exchange. (a lot of people are talking over each other, but I could clearly hear this from Christine.)

Kody: She won't be happy till she has all of you, bowing at her feet waiting for her to decide what she wants.

Christine: Yeah, maybe she does do that.

Kody: You guys just saw it all unfold

Christine: Yeah we did. No one is saying anything different.

In a conversation with Robyn

Christine: So you feel like you don't have a choice?

Robyn: No. I'm taking what she doesn't want.

Notice that during her exchange with Robyn, Robyn has put the sole blame on Meri, claiming she gets Meri's leftovers, with no blame on either Christine or Janelle who also got to pick their piece of land before her. Robyn isn't really confronting the problem that all three got to choose before her, she is only singling out Meri's choice.

Christine is the only person while still standing on the land, says at least three times, that the family needs to start from scratch, and no one should claim any land. She also states it again a few days later when the family meets to resolve the issue. By doing this, Christine at that moment was not just blaming Meri, but actively tried to give a fair resolution in which she was giving up her claim on the property, so the family and every wife got to be heard and felt like they had a choice.

Christine clearly has had a turbulent past with Meri, which is displayed in her conversation with and talking about Janelle.

Christine: Janelle and I have always really gotten along, to say we only got along for the kids, that's not really Janelle and I. She's been super easy for me.

Reading between the lines, Christine is admitting that she and Meri, have not gotten along, and only did for the children. However even with this turbulent past with Meri, and clearly acknowledging that Meri does play games and agreeing with Kody, Christine was still mediating their family meeting, acknowledging miscommunication, and self acknowledging, that while she did talk to Kody about wanting that particular piece of land, she had not spoken to the other wives about it.

Christine was accepting some blame for the family's distance and not communicating with the other wives. She was the most level headed, the most willing to compromise, the ONLY one who accepted accountability for the miscommunication without putting the sole blame on Meri.

Kody is wrong to acknowledge Robyn as the only one apologizing and the only one being okay to be put anywhere on the land. As I discussed in my previous post Robyn is doing this for "secondary gains." She claims  she is not the victim and can't be a baby in her talking head, and yet, Robyn is the one crying, Robyn is the one who walked away from the situation, only to come back, once Meri was gone to complain to the rest of the family. Robyn freely blames Meri for getting her leftovers, and even in her apology she blames Meri. Make no mistake, Robyn was playing the victim as well as Meri, and yet was the only wife Kody gave a shout out to in the family discussion for being the most willing to live anywhere and for apologizing. This is secondary gains folks.

As for Janelle this statement sums her up pretty well, when she was talking to Robyn after Meri  left and Robyn came back.

Janelle to Robyn: I was glad when you got that place by the pond.

Janelle clearly does not trust Meri. You can say this is about the pond, but what is it really about is control. Look at the language Janelle uses throughout the episode when talking about Meri getting the plot of land with the pond.

She uses words like "jursidiction, I'm afraid, and equal rights." Janelle wants things in writing for legal purposes. This is a symptom of someone who feels that if Meri has legal control she will enforce her will, and give no consideration for the rest of the family. There are really deep rooted issues between these two that are in no way resolved. And trust me, when Meri saw this scene and what everyone said, it only goes to feed into her victim mentality and completely demolishes any chance for Janelle and Meri to ever having a trusting relationship.

As for Meri, she was asked by every family member during that episode which land she wants. Janelle even said, "Let's forget all that was told, Meri where do you want to go?

The thing is guys, when a person is so deep into victim mentality, when you place the choice back on them, they will shy away from that, and not take the empowerment, cause they will not be able to continue in their woe of problems. They will AVOID at all costs, which is exactly what she did. When her feet are held to the fire, she claims she didn't have enough time or information to make a decision at this time. That is exact, textbook response to a person of victim mentality.

In summary:

Even though she has a long, difficult relationship with Meri, Christine was still willing to compromise for her, without placing sole blame on Meri, but put the blame more on the family as a whole.

 

Keep the assessments coming! Love your perspective. 

I've known a couple “Meris” throughout my life and the victimy, passive aggressiveness never got resolved. I wound up removing myself from the relationships because nothing you do helps and it drags you down with them. They just don’t know it’s them. 

Do you think Meri doesn’t know how terrible she comes across? Or if she would believe it? Doesn’t she see herself on these shows? 

[Kyanight]

31 minutes ago, Tuxcat said:

I'm all for snark and I have no problem saying that I hope Robyn and Kody are not deliberately exploiting their daughters anxiety issues on next weeks episode. However, I will not judge Robyn's parenting when it comes to Dayton. It can be absolutely exhausting to raise a child with special needs. A mother might be living in a constant state of worry because of past history.  It's simply not fair to say she "should do this or not do this" when we don't know the full extent of his problems. 

What is the difference between this and Ysabel Brown and her scoliosis?  You are right -we don't know the full extent - but we DO know he graduated with honors and is going to go to college - and when he enters the work force he will be on his own.  I don't feel out of line in expressing my opinion on anything they show on reality television.  They could have said nothing about Dayton and no one would ever have known.  I RAISED a child with special needs - and 7 other children besides (including a set of twins who had a brother only a year older) - in addition to raising other wive's children for several years. THAT is exhausting!  Robyn gets a nanny to take care of TWO small children while she sleeps until noon.

  I still feel I can voice my thoughts - because after all... when it comes down to it - ALL we ever know for sure is the tiny bit they actually talk about on the show - which is damn little.  What goes on behind the cameras is anyone's guess on any topic ... and what they show could all be fake for all we know.   Not a single soul here has said a single unkind word in regards to Dayton - not one.  As far as the MOTHERS go - they put themselves on TV to make a buck or two - and THAT puts their lives up for discussion.

Edited March 5, 2020 by Kyanight

[Tuxcat]

55 minutes ago, Kyanight said:

What is the difference between this and Ysabel Brown and her scoliosis?  You are right -we don't know the full extent - but we DO know he graduated with honors and is going to go to college - and when he enters the work force he will be on his own.  I don't feel out of line in expressing my opinion on anything they show on reality television.  They could have said nothing about Dayton and no one would ever have known.  I RAISED a child with special needs - and 7 other children besides (including a set of twins who had a brother only a year older) - in addition to raising other wive's children for several years. THAT is exhausting!  Robyn gets a nanny to take care of TWO small children while she sleeps until noon.

  I still feel I can voice my thoughts - because after all... when it comes down to it - ALL we ever know for sure is the tiny bit they actually talk about on the show - which is damn little.  What goes on behind the cameras is anyone's guess on any topic ... and what they show could all be fake for all we know.   Not a single soul here has said a single unkind word in regards to Dayton - not one.  As far as the MOTHERS go - they put themselves on TV to make a buck or two - and THAT puts their lives up for discussion.

That's true. Never meant that you couldn't express your opinion. Just meant that for me, I can't do it. Special needs can mean so many different things. He likely graduated with honors because she provided an enormous amount of scaffolding. He may not be able to self regulate enough to succeed in school or work on his own. But you're right - we can't really know whats true and whats not. And she is opening herself up for scrutiny. I guess I just have a soft spot for that particular topic. 

[dreadfulLeigh]

“I’m tired of trying to make someone happy who can’t be made happy”

 

...theme of the episode. 

[Kyanight]

10 minutes ago, Tuxcat said:

 He likely graduated with honors because she provided an enormous amount of scaffolding. He may not be able to self regulate enough to succeed in school or work on his own. 

Good post!  I just wanted to comment on this part here.... Again, we don't really know anything because we have seen much at all in regards to Dayton and his schooling.... but going by what we KNOW about how lazy Robyn is... it doesn't seem likely that she would exert that much effort.  That doesn't mean she DIDN'T - but it's hard to believe from what we know of her lifestyle.