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S07.E12: I Do and I Don't Know


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Syngin considers going back to South Africa; Mursel feels he made a mistake; Mike consults a lawyer; Angela rethinks a Nigerian wedding; Jasmin & Blake's families meet; Stephanie makes Anny an offer; Michael & Juliana and Emily & Sasha's wedding day.

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Re: Anna and Mursel's quickie wedding plans...

I looked it up and blood tests before marriage are no longer required in the majority of states. The exceptions are DC, Montana (women only!) and in New York, African American and Hispanic applicants are required to be tested for Sickle Cell Disease. 

There is no waiting period in Nebraska between applying for a marriage license and the ceremony so six hours is cutting it close but through the magic of television, Anna and Mursel should bee fine. 

 

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Anna and Mursel - Anna, good luck with your boys. The eldest one does not like Mursel and probably hopes to go away to college in a couple of years. Yes, it was good that Mursel finally spoke to his parents and grew part of a spine. Both of you may have a long rough patch in your marriage. Hopefully you do have some access to a counsellor - and all of you can find someone to work with you as Mursel becomes part of the family. Otherwise, this won't last long.

Michael and Juliana and Sarah - the wedding costs must have easily added up. The tent, the set-up, the flowers, the furniture, bar setup. It was a nice wedding. Sarah, you could have looked a bit more professional and also washed and combed your hair. All of you need to learn to set some healthy boundaries. I would not expect my husband's ex to be more than cordial to me for a while. Something smells rotten in Greenwich. The marriage may last for a while. Juliana will eventually meet some new people and discover more about herself and what she wants in life. And whether that includes Michael long-term. She is still very young and the wedding vows are easy to make but they are difficult to actually carry out. I expect that she will keep her options open. The kids should not be used as pawns in any games that either of their parents play.

Blake and Jasmin - Mother Blake has a right to be concerned about a young couple managing in a large, expensive city such as LA. Jasmin has lips but zero career or job plans. It's all nice to want to focus on your inner peace - that you do with training, and meditation and energy work and it doesn't take all day. You do it all day but it is a way of life. She just seems to want to get up, go for green tea, and maybe nap by the pool. Blake is not rich - as of yet - maybe he needs to discover someone up and coming for him to promote. Jasmin may need to figure out how to get to some Hollywood type parties to meet wealthier men - actors, athletes, execs. She does not have to be close buds with Blake's friends but she does need to be a bit more polite and make some effort.

Mike and Natalie - Mike, you now have some space to think clearly. Except for Uncle Beau, there isn't anyone around to distract you or pet you and tell you everyone loves you. Good for you for talking to the lawyer about possibly withdrawing the visa.

Robert and Anny - Robert, stop playing the game of I will treat Anny like crap and then take her shopping for something, I would be ticked off at this sort of behavior. Granny porn star may have a point at wanting to pay Anny off - for her own good - but Anny has a mind of her own and if she wants the crap that she currently has with Robert, knock herself out.  There will be more coming after the wedding. Things are not going to change once the Green Card process starts. Take the cheque, cash it, make sure it clears and maybe get Bryson a bed. Break the lease, get a 2 bedroom apartment.

Emily and Sasha - why did you need such a fancy dress for the beach road wedding? Betsy may be going around things the wrong way, but she has the right to be concerned about her sister's major life decision. The groom has a bad track record, this is his third marriage and baby. He doesn't seem particularly committed and his eye has probably started wandering. No need to spend money on a new dress either. Maybe Sasha will change, maybe he won't. He certainly did not like the mimosa for the wedding day breakfast.

Tania and Syngin - of course she wants a unique wedding dress. Black, red, anything but white. She's just so spiritual and such. She hasn't met a real soulmate yet - except for maybe the dude she considered her first love. Soulmate relationships are the toughest you will ever have. All relationships are karmic and all bring lessons. The decision you make at the time is the right one for you, but life brings changes. It is unlikely that she and Syngin will work longterm. Too different, too different values and she's too full of herself and has zero idea that marriage is about two people and not just herself. That book chapter may be a few pages, or a few dozen pages. Maybe she thinks that the doves will fly at her wedding and she will know that Syngin her soulmate. Both should want a life partner - someone they love, care about and want to make a life - with ups and downs - together. As one unit. They are probably doomed and won't last more than a couple of years.

Angela and Michael - I forgot about them! Michael has been sacrificing a better life for the Green Card. Angela will not be having a baby at her age and it's doubtful any of her friends can afford a plane ticket to Nigeria to attend her wedding so it looks legit.

Edited by Frozendiva
Forgot Angela
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The former visa officer on reddit has explained how it is possible that Mursel returned to Turkey and was allowed to return to the US. This is something that everyone has said is not allowed and once he left, he was gone. So, it could be true or could be frauding.

Quote

 

 

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Wow. Anna went from "I love you" to "I want to punch you in the face" back to "I love you" in no time flat. 

Meanwhile her eldest son's reactions and expressions about Anna and Mursel speak for a large portion of the viewing audience: "Meh." 

Edited by Callaphera
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LOL, Angela was "barn-baited" by everyone in Michael's family about marrying in Nigeria. Pretty sure she meant "bombarded."

Oops, sorry, SlutAssBitchAssHor already said the same thing! I totally missed that the first time around.

I was having a lot of trouble on the live thread. It seemed my responses weren't getting posted, because they stayed after I'd thought they'd been sent. Sorry for duplicates!

Edited by renatae
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16 minutes ago, Adeejay said:

Jasmine might be on to something. I am going to tell my husband that I am quitting my job to find inner peace. Wish me luck.

If it doesn't work out, you can always ask Robert to import you from elsewhere and wait for the grandpornents to give you a cash settlement and a ticket home. Grandma's like J.G. Wentworth singing about CASH NOOOOOW! over there with her archaic little cheque book. 

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Tania can get a semi unique boho look dress for her conscious coupling without wearing a black or red gown like Madam Satan Lilith. Girl just needs to buy a dress from Free People, Anthropologie, Temperley, Etro, Celine, Marchesa, or Chloe. Go to Neiman's, Saks, the outlets, or online to buy something floral, boho, floaty, or romantic put a flower crown in her hair and call it day. If she buys a gown that she just happens to wear to her wedding, the chances are much higher that she'll wear it again WHEN she gets divorced.

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Not legally possible for Mursel to leave and return. Even after they married, he would've had to apply for a travel permit to leave the US while he waited for his adjustment of status. And since Mursel and Anna were (purportedly) not yet married...

My husband is from England and didn't even NEED a visa to come here and visit, but once he arrived on the K1 he could not leave here until we married, and even then we had to pay for the travel permit (a permit that is ONLY available once you have filed for AoS). I am very well aware of this because his mother had brain cancer and he couldn't fly back for the surgery in that first year without jumping through a bunch of expensive hoops.

I think that either Mursel was here on a tourist visa the first time, he got an entirely new visa,  the "Turkey" scenes were faked, or they married much earlier and he returned to Turkey on a travel permit. Regardless, it did not happen the way it was shown.

Edited by mamadrama
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I thought it was funny how they didn’t show the outside of the shoe store that Robert took Anny to but it was obviously a discount outlet. Then Robert acted all generous telling her she could get the red shoes and that the price didn’t matter.  

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Tania’s friends were much smarter and more astute than they looked.  It’s a shame she won’t listen to them.  OTOH, her mother looks AND acts like she lives under a bridge.  
 

if I had any doubts that Anna is an atrocious mother before this episode, they’re gone now.  I’m sorry for her beautiful boys that they apparently drew the very short parent straws.  

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Gotta hand it to porn grandparents...I think they are on to something. They care about their grandson and he's in the clutches of people not related to them. The $15K is not the worst idea in the world and I bet it will come in handy. That said, they will still have to run a few gauntlets to gain custody of the kid, which is what they have in mind.

Robert is just repulsive and Anny is right behind, although I understand why she's doing this and she found a willing rube to carry it out.

Anna and Mucilege -- that older son is impressive. Get outta there to college ASAP! I feel terrible for the two younger ones.

Juliana is just beautiful and Wine Mike's kids are lovely. Wine Mike ex Sarah is clearly a sloppy drunk; the producers must have delighted at their good fortune with the spectacle of her performing the ceremony in a $19 Target sundress and greasy hair with her Jay Leno lantern jaw. I hope if she's reading this she gets into some sort of counseling or program for the alcohol -- I would drink my ass off too, if I were in her position. I don't blame her or want to poke fun, but those kids are sweet and could use their mom's full attention. Booze can be a terrible thing, and it's her ex's main fixation. The perfect storm.

I didn't mind Emily's wedding. They did what they could with what they had. The sister seems needlessly meddlesome. Let your sibling make her mess, it's none of your business.

I'm with mother Blake all the way, although she is about to get rid of the whole Finnish line when they move into their new home. Blake seems a decent if hapless guy, maybe he'll learn his lesson and move on. A lot of wannabe entertainment people figure it out and move into a more profitable part of the business. You can see why they have these laws that you are financially responsible for the finace(e). The Finnish parents seemed nice and understandably bewildered by LA.

I think Mother Blake needs her own TLC show!

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Jazmine and Blake could not look more like a green card scam if they tried.  What is this "I don't want to work" crap?  Work on you inner peace and then what?  Does her sister work?

Who were those random people sitting on the lawn in the background as Julianna walked down the aisle?  I have not seen anyone so awkward and twitchy since HW Ramona Singer blasted on to our screens, ex wife is as twitchy and awkward and it is hard to watch.  Production needs to stop feeding the kids lines, it is so unnatural.  It was a pretty wedding.

Beekeepers...ugh.

Annie and Robert, if red shoes are the cure all then great but Annie will not be living the life Robert told her she would be living so how many pairs of shoes do we think Robert will buy in the first year of marriage? LOL.

Natalie and Squim, just say no Squim, just say no.  Did I hear right, was he calling her Ali or just saying Natalie really fast?

 

 

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10 minutes ago, readheaded said:

f I had any doubts that Anna is an atrocious mother before this episode, they’re gone now.  I’m sorry for her beautiful boys that they apparently drew the very short parent straws.  

And are still turning out to be wonderful human beings. This happened to my father, too -- horrible bigot parents and he was a powerful civil rights advocate. I cannot imagine where that older son got his ethics. I just want to pat him on the head and encourage him.

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1 minute ago, Baltimore Betty said:

Natalie and Squim, just say no Squim, just say no.

Mike is an impressively ethical and calm man. Yes, Natalie is phenomenally beautiful. But Mike deserves so much better. I am not sure how old he is, seems pretty young especially to have purchased a  whole farm...I bet he will mature a bit and figure it out. Maybe Uncle Bo can help, he's lived a bit. If Bullwinkle brings Natasha over he is screwed.

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1 minute ago, Blo Town said:

 

I'm with mother Blake all the way, although she is about to get rid of the whole Finnish line when they move into their new home. Blake seems a decent if hapless guy, maybe he'll learn his lesson and move on. A lot of wannabe entertainment people figure it out and move into a more profitable part of the business. You can see why they have these laws that you are financially responsible for the finace(e). The Finnish parents seemed nice and understandably bewildered by LA.

I think Mother Blake needs her own TLC show!

I am still dying laughing at Jasmine's"goals". She is not work oriented and wants to focus on her inner peace........all I can say is, people's attitudes must be very different in Finland. I can just imagine my parents' response, and it would have looked nothing like theirs.

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19 minutes ago, readheaded said:

Tania’s friends were much smarter and more astute than they looked.  It’s a shame she won’t listen to them.  OTOH, her mother looks AND acts like she lives under a bridge.  
 

if I had any doubts that Anna is an atrocious mother before this episode, they’re gone now.  I’m sorry for her beautiful boys that they apparently drew the very short parent straws.  

Oh gawd! Anna's kids are going to have some things to talk to a therapist about!

Tania is disgusting, she is her mother in every sense of the word and not a bra between them.  

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3 minutes ago, Baltimore Betty said:

Tania is disgusting, she is her mother in every sense of the word and not a bra between them.  

Not enough fabric in the western world to erect that bra.

4 minutes ago, Baltimore Betty said:

Tania is disgusting, she is her mother in every sense of the word and not a bra between them.  

But WTF Syngin? How did such a nice and attractive guy with the best hair genes ever get roped into this hell?

1 hour ago, KateHearts said:

At least Tanya's friends are on to her gig. "She does whatever she wants," (eyeroll).  I love it. 

I think they had to search hard for on-camera "friends"

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1 hour ago, KateHearts said:

I didn't need much more to convince me that Anna is a total twat, but her line about "wanting Joey to be at my wedding because I've been there for him his entire life" really sealed it for me.  Hey Anna, you're his MOTHER, and that's what is expected of you. The kid isn't even an adult yet, but you are shoving your ten-ton guilt trip on him because he's hesitant to be an ongoing part of the shit show you call "love" with Murcel? And then she says "I am so glad we were able to get this SECOND CHANCE..." as if someone evil tried to pry them apart and now they, the star-crossed lovers, can finally be together for real. Why were we subjected to two weeks of tears, crumpling to the floor, and runny mascara?

 

I yelled at the TV, "You are his mother!" when she said that.  What an awful thing to say.  She is a horrible mother because that is obviously what she thinks and feels.

I don't understand why people that are filming a TV show don't take a shower and wash their hair...Michael and Sarah.  Sarah looked dirty and too casual for someone officiating a wedding.  Her comments and her saying "like" every other word was too much.  

I hate Tania.  I was happy when her friends called her out.  She looked at them like she couldn't understand why they were saying such things to her.  And the whole red, black or whatever color for the dress was just another "look at me, I'm such a woke, independent person that never follows the norm".  

Jasmine and her not working and finding her peace was crazy.  She needs to find a job online so she doesn't have to interact with people.  I wouldn't want her as a co-worker.  She is young and healthy and should want to work to have a better life.  Although she doesn't wear anything but bicycle shorts so her clothing budget should be low.  Have we seen her in anything but those shorts.

I just can't with the whole Angela and Michael starting a family.  Are they all that delusional?

Emily and Sasha's wedding spot was bizarre.  They should have gotten married on the deck of that cottage.   

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They are making drama over Natalie's visa. They always say it's classified until its approved. It simply means they havent reached a decision yet and, until then, they can't offer any more info. Like a HIPPA thing.

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1 hour ago, OFDgal said:

Have we seen her in anything but those shorts.

I know, she has them in every color of the rainbow plus some for formal occasions! Although she did show up to lunch in a skirt, shocking.  Do we think her wedding dress will just be a white long line girdle and bra with lace and beading?

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21 minutes ago, mamadrama said:

They are making drama over Natalie's visa. They always say it's classified until its approved. It simply means they havent reached a decision yet and, until then, they can't offer any more info. Like a HIPPA thing.

Of course they are dramatizing the whole thing so now we can see more skype calls with her batting her eye lashes and telling Mike that he is wrong in his beliefs, wrong in his not wanting a baby till he is out of debt, etc...cut to 6 months from now they are married, she is pregnant and they plan on a baptism in a church and Uncle Bojangles is the baby's Godfather.  

Anyone notice the Wino flattened wine bottle hanging on the wall behind the lawyer (and the little shoe décor behind Mike?  Something tells me that is not the lawyers real office, did not see any diplomas.

I think where Mike lives in Washington State is known for lavender farms, do we know what Mike grows on his farm?

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What Anna has done to her children is disgusting she should not have them I absolutely despise her and want to rescue them. Milkshakes and burgers doesn’t soften the blow. She can’t even assure them that his family is as the oldest boy said “good with them”? If she doesn’t know..... she doesn’t care. Anna you are a terrible, shitty mother. Their faces break my heart.

Max and Cece are the stars of the show.

I was in a time travel conundrum there for a minute when Michaels ex wife was saying the words she once said to Michael and asking another woman to repeat those broken vows . I can see they’re all cool but that made me dizzy. 

Going from that lavish beautiful perfect wedding to Lagos was ..oh boy. 

Judgment on what is legit love from porn stars who fuck strangers outside their relationship for a living  ? Sit down.

 

 

 

 

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10 minutes ago, Baltimore Betty said:

Anyone notice the Wino flattened wine bottle hanging on the wall behind the lawyer (and the little shoe décor behind Mike?  Something tells me that is not the lawyers real office, did not see any diplomas.

I watched the show last night and Pillow Talk this morning.

I noticed the W.I.N.O.S. (Women In Need Of Sanity) bottle last night, but specifically looked for the diplomas today.  They are there, a couple of feet to the right of the important thing in the room (the bottle).

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8 hours ago, Callaphera said:

grandpornents

Call the coroner and the time. DYING laughing here. Thank you! Thank you! I will never be able to say or write grandparent without saying to myself grandpornent!!!!

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12 hours ago, magemaud said:

I looked it up and blood tests before marriage are no longer required in the majority of states. The exceptions are DC, Montana (women only!) and in New York, African American and Hispanic applicants are required to be tested for Sickle Cell Disease. 

When I got married last year in Texas I had to sign off on information about HIV, I thought it was so weird.

Also they had updated the forms from husband and wife to be gender neutral but the forms were also set up to return the paperwork to the first name on it which was clearly supposed to be the husband. All I could think is how the forms were setup to give a receipt of the marriage to the man.

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1 minute ago, not you again said:

Loosely based on the fact that he also has a construction (?) job, I assumed his farm was a tree farm.  That would be easier to do while having other full time employment.  And Bojangles to assist you.  😁

I could see Bojangles traipsing about in lavender fields......

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7 hours ago, magemaud said:

I thought it was funny how they didn’t show the outside of the shoe store that Robert took Anny to but it was obviously a discount outlet. Then Robert acted all generous telling her she could get the red shoes and that the price didn’t matter.  

Plastic shoes can't be too expensive.  

 

3 minutes ago, not you again said:

And Bojangles to assist you.

Does he work or is he on disability?  He made a comment about needing to go to the bank and Michael said, "Oh you mean the Bank Of Mike?  It is closed, it is Sunday."  It is kinda odd that there are three people living in sheds this season!!  

Anna's son:  "What are we doing here?"  Anna:  "I am about to crush your spirit for the eighth time.  Drink up, buddy boy!!!"

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There's very little doubt in my mind that the producers tinkered with the Morsel and Anna story and yet no matter how many different ways they tinker with it, I'm still not interested. Get back to me if it turns out Morsel is already married to a sheep or something in Turkey.

I've concluded that Jasmin is just an asshole. The way she said "Cool," all snotty and judgmental after asking Blake if he drank at his friend's party. He told her he was going to drink. It's what people do at parties. Jasmine would probably be in heaven at a party where everybody was just doing yoga and working on their inner peace. Speaking of which, What the Hell? She's "not really into working?" Who is? We don't do it because we're into it, we do it because we need to eat and have a place to live. It's pretty clear Jasmin expects Blake to provide everything while she contributes nothing but her "inner peace." Like I said, asshole.

And speaking of assholes, Tania. Holy crap. Imagine the nerve of standing there in a wedding dress saying, "How sure am I supposed to be? Nobody tells you!" How about at least as sure as you were about going to Costa Rica for a month to become a witch doctor? How about at least as sure as you are about wearing that hot pink shirt again for the 10th day in a row? Syngin's friend posing the question, "Is Tania worth it" elicited a very loud, almost involuntary "NO!"screamed at my TV. Tania's friend Alex was the only person in that scene who had a lick of sense. Strangely, I've begun to really dislike Tanya's mother. You would think I wouldn't have liked her because of her maniacal monitoring of her Jack Daniels, but I just don't like the way she comports herself, overall. She comes off like a bitch. Like the kind of Karen who always wants to speak to your manager.

I know it's an unpopular opinion, but I really liked Sequim Mike's K1 attorney. Her little wino decor in her office reminded me of attorneys that I've worked for. I can't imagine how frustrating being an immigration attorney must be in this political climate. I do not begrudge her her wine. She probably needs it after a day of dealing our state department.

I mentioned this in the live chat but it's worth pointing out again that porn granny, did not of her own volition bring her checkbook to brunch with Robert and Anny to give Anny an "out." That felt contrived as Hell. First off, nobody carries a checkbook anymore. Second, how is writing a check going to change what porn granny said was a relationship of convenience? Robert still needs a babysitter and Anny still needs a green card, so if that were the arrangement being made, what business is it of porn Granny's? And how is paying "the babysitter" to go away in any way helpful to Robert or to Bryson? That said, I think porn Granny's husband is probably right in that there will come a time when Robert wants that money.

Edited by FrancescaFiore
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1 hour ago, arejay said:

Good job, Sarah, making Juliana's moment all about you. Speaking as the "new" wife, I whole heartedly advise Juliana not to trust her for a second.

Tania and her entourage looked like they might have been smelly. Plus, not a bra among them. 

When I first saw them I thought, why are they wearing bathing suits at a bridal shop. Lol

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Well, you've all said it all. 

Sarah did look like a slop, while Juliana was beautiful. Her dress was exquisite, the hair perfect. She can look at the photos 50 years froim now and pat herself on the back. Thank goodness she can help CeCe as she explores fashion and makeup because clearly the mother is a dud. I think both CeCe and Max are adorably precocious and it is likely they make up their own lines.

The girl marrying the Russian, however, looked like a fucking ghost with that hideous grey hair and the white dress. She will look back at her wedding photos and shriek.

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9 hours ago, alotmorestupider said:

That Oregon beach house was amazing. And Emily always has the dumbest expression on her face. Sasha looks like he’s scanning the horizon for something else to sink his dick into. Why didn’t they get married on the actual beach? Like...on the sand? All the people walking to the beach with their chairs and umbrellas was very distracting. 

 

She, like Zied, always looks like she's just been hit on the head with a frying pan. She always has that slightly stunned look.

This whole show was a bunch of staged scenes, strung together into a semi-coherent narrative. Porn granny and her charmingly quaint "checkbook", Mike's visit to his lawyer, Mursel's amazing Return From Turkey (and captivity in his family's storage shed, I guess? Luckily he was able to chew through the restraints in time!). The horrifically embarrassing sight of Sarah making it all about herself at Michael and Juliana's wedding, while pouring Chardonnay down her neck as fast as she ever could. Best of all, Tania's visit to the bridal shop. As I posted last night on the live chat thread, no power on earth can convince me that Tania would not insist on one that's locally sourced, hand woven, vegetable dyed, produced by an indigenous women's collective. Come on, show!

 

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