S09.E09: One Month Down, Never to Go

[Crazy Bird Lady]

1 hour ago, Ohwell said:

I still think he wants to stuff her in a wall.  

Maybe he will. 

To tell you the truth, it would please me to see him hauled away to jail for murdering her....,,,,,,, that just might be what it takes to get these so-called "experts" to stop pairing couples like "Mr. Picky" and "The Free Spirit". 

I enjoy trying to analyze these relationships and why things work and why they don't, etc. --but I do not enjoy watching people inflict terrible emotional pain on each other.

[pdlinda]

On 8/10/2019 at 9:46 AM, Mazzy said:

I haven't really thought about it, but that's right - Matt was CHOSEN out of gazillions of candidates to be on this show. How would that make sense; to pick a man who has only ever known employment as an over seas athlete, is now unemployed, and hopes to start a seemingly random car detailing business in hopes of helping to support a family (because I believe they've spoken of eventually wanting kids??)? No one would ever chose him as a potential SUCCESSFUL marriage candidate in an arranged-marriage situation. And then to decide that the only way a mate wouldn't immediately be like 'no thanks' was to choose a woman who is so needy that after one week any split would devastate her world? I love this show but that's pretty warped.

There may have been "gazillion" CANDIDATES but I believe there were precious FEW who were ready, willing and/or able to participate.  I think there are might slim pickens in ACTUAL people who would agree (and/or have the time) to participate in this train wreck of a "show."

[Ohwell]

If the so-called "experts" had any sense, on Decision Day they would recommend that Jamie and Beth get divorced because if they stay together, I fear things will not end well.  They are vicious towards each other.

[Jack Sampson]

On 8/8/2019 at 11:39 AM, gonecrackers said:

I don't blame Deonna for passing on the bath thing. First, not everyone likes that crap, next, this is TV, & the cameras would love more "Liz & Amber" flashing moments, using Deonna. They probably set the whole thing up with a filming requirement- to which she may have been fuck no assholes & I don't blame her for not wanting to be on display. ..

So push the cameras out, lock the door and jump in.

On 8/8/2019 at 9:10 PM, Ilovepie said:

I really think Iris is delusional about how most men her age view being married to a virgin. I think she thought her new husband would be thrilled and grateful. Instead she’s getting side eye and now realizes that it’s taken more as a burden than a gift. This process was a terrible choice for someone like her. She needed to find another virgin herself or at least someone who would respect her for it. That was never going to happen here.

Problem is, I doubt she'd ever be attracted to a man who's a virgin at her age.  A dude like Keith probably lost his virginity as a high school freshman.  If she finds one who's religious, good looking, has a good career AND is a virgin, he's going to want a woman younger than Iris.

21 hours ago, SadeO said:

Thats creepy and I bet Greg's going to have to do random things and jump through hoops just to get approval here and there. smh.

I'm sure she'd love to have Greg spending his life jumping through hoops for rare sex that better be mind-blowing.  Remember, he has to perform amazingly every time...

On 8/7/2019 at 5:35 PM, Soup333 said:

😂😂

On 8/7/2019 at 6:56 PM, ShowFan said:

The face washing if she did it right, I’d hope

If she does it right, there's nothing left to clean up.

[Aethera]

Folks, a reminder that we can disagree without criticizing each other or hammering on our own opinions - state your opinion once, and move on. Remember that it's no one's job here to change someone else's mind about their views on the show participants.

[Ilovepie]

7 hours ago, Crazy Bird Lady said:

The topic of "Who is worse: Jamie or Elizabeth?" will never be solved here on PRIMETIMER.  A lot of women here seem to think Elizabeth is way worse than Jamie, no matter what.  [Maybe it's because they don't like the color of her hair or the sound of her voice or the language she uses or the way she dances (shudder!)  Maybe it's the clothes she wears or her risque nighties. Maybe it's because she never got a boob job to make her girls "perky" instead of saggy. Or maybe it's simply because she's messy.]

Maybe they feel like a woman telling her man he's boring in bed is the worst possible thing ever, much worse than than a man who thinks before he speaks, but nonetheless insults and belittles his wife because she's supposedly working for her father -and he does that over and over, long after she's apologized for what she said that angered him originally, and even after she had (tearfully) asked him to leave the room and just let her be alone for a while. 

Most people commenting here seem to feel that Elizabeth telling Jamie he's boring in bed is worse than Jamie calling her a c*nt.  

It’s true, I can’t stand Elizabeth for many of the reasons you have stated, but I find him a sulky, passive aggressive asshole. Neither of these two should have been chosen, as neither seems able to discuss any sort of disagreement without lashing out in a hurtful way. They both fight like juveniles hurling insults instead of truthfully saying why they are upset. Jamie is mad at her for focusing only on herself when viewing their pictures, but instead of saying “I was upset you only focused on yourself when we looked at the album” he instead calls her a materialistic C U Next Tuesday, or insults her for taking a job from her dad when he’s actually upset about her discussing his parents divorce on camera. She does lash out at him inappropriately, but I find him worse because he is stewing about it then deliberately unleashing pointed nastiness at her. And if its a minor annoyance, he’s sarcastically, flippantly rude. I personally can’t stand him, and I think he is worse than her.

[brilliantbreakfast]

On 8/8/2019 at 5:49 PM, DrewPaul2010 said:

Here's a woman worried about lemonade and her virginity but tells the world she engaged in oral sex...

Apparently "Everything But" is part of "purity culture."  You can have oral sex, you can even receive anal, but still call yourself a virgin.  Iris isn't about saving herself for marriage, she's about how special she thinks her coochie is.  The problem with vaginal virginity being the holy grail is that once you define yourself by it, then not having it becomes unthinkable because your hymen is who you are.  Without that, even from a husband, what is she, under her own definition?  Why a woman who defines herself takes this kind of marital risk, I have no idea.  I also wonder where her virginity fetish came from.  It sure seems it didn't come from her mother, who appears to have run out of patience with her virginity cultishness.

[gonecrackers]

3 hours ago, Jack Sampson said:

So push the cameras out, lock the door and jump in.

In all fairness we have no idea what happened after the cameras left. She may have ripped off that flannel & they went at it. It's possible they're playing it close to the vest &/or going along with the Deonna wants to go to sleep in flannels instead of jumping dear Greg narrative.

[Auntie]

I rewatched part of this episode and noticed that right before Jamie and DaddyBeth's last fight, he came out of the bedroom on the right side of the apartment stuffing his "smaller-than-daddy's-penis" back into his underwear then proceeded to follow DaddyBeth into the other room to the left of the apartment. So maybe DaddyBeth gave Jamie shit again about his Caucasian sex performance......

[STRIDER1]

5 hours ago, Crazy Bird Lady said:

Maybe he will. 

To tell you the truth, it would please me to see him hauled away to jail for murdering her....,,,,,,, that just might be what it takes to get these so-called "experts" to stop pairing couples like "Mr. Picky" and "The Free Spirit". 

I enjoy trying to analyze these relationships and why things work and why they don't, etc. --but I do not enjoy watching people inflict terrible emotional pain on each other.

Dont forget about season 2's psychopath ryan and his whole crazy " im gonna kill u and your whole family" nightmare. jessica had to get a restraining order against him if my memory is correct.

Not quite murder but on a off beaten path towards that maybe. you would think that those fake "experts" would have learned even from that scary lesson but nope they didnt and I doubt that they ever will.

They know nothing and sadly will continue to be that ignorant, blind and stupid.

[watchingtvaddict]

Jamie is scary. 

Beth is impossible to deal with and she can be very dramatic about things... but Jamie doesn't voice his opinion until it explodes and then he is mean in a very cold and calculating way. 

I understand why Beth feels rattled after encounters with him. 

Also, why can't she leave but if he leaves its fine? 

[watchingtvaddict]

I don't understand the Deonna hate. She is moving at a regular pace for someone who has just entered into a relationship and is understandably wary of a man who piles on the praise in the first two or so weeks of dates. 

They've had sex, she is into PDAs, she tells Greg the reasons he is a great guy (and the reasons sound sincere). 

If I had a guy telling me I was beautiful and amazing during the first two weeks of courtship I would assume he was just saying complimentary things to get into my pants... Greg can be a little pushy. He wants Deonna to tell him what works like she is a puzzle to be solved, whereas Deonna just wants to go with the flow sometime. 

Edited August 13, 2019 by watchingtvaddict

[lh25]

On 8/7/2019 at 7:25 PM, Sterling said:

He should have joked at the time, saying, "Hey, I'm in there too!" with a big smile, and then yeah, compliment her, but laugh and look at her, and ask her to tell you what she loved about the day, what her memories are.  Instead, he goes from zero to 100 and storms out.

Totally agree.  I'm no fan of her's, and no the other brides didn't focus just on themselves(at least going from what they showed us), but wow he over-reacted.  It's the anger level that gets scary, and how they go to the name-calling.  In my 26 years of being married, we've never fought like that.

[lh25]

22 hours ago, Crazy Bird Lady said:

What really matters is that these two people should never have been paired together as a couple, and the sooner they get away from each other, the better!!  

YES!  Even my hubby, who doesn't watch the show much, calls them toxic together.

[Empress1]

Elizabeth definitely has issues. Her breakdown this episode was telling - I think she has very low self-esteem. The way she talked about how she's the problem and this is why no one wants to be with her indicates to me that she's probably been told some version of that by men she dates. (It reminded me of when TX Amber would reference being ghosted - she never came out and said "I was ghosted," but she'd say things like "It's nice to know he can't just drop off the face of the earth.") Also she's clearly self-conscious about not finishing college, given the way she responded to Jamie giving her shit about it (which was shitty on Jamie's part). I think that brash persona she puts on is an act. I don't think I'd want to be real-deal friends with her because I do think she's pretty self-absorbed.

BUT. Calling someone a c*nt is really the beginning and end of the story, for me, in terms of "would I want to know this person." I would not. Now Elizabeth knows that any time she does something he doesn't like, he's got a slur at the ready. I wouldn't stand for that and she shouldn't either - but given her self-esteem issues, I think she might, which is fucked up.

[nutella fitzgerald]

20 hours ago, Jack Sampson said:

Problem is, I doubt she'd ever be attracted to a man who's a virgin at her age.  A dude like Keith probably lost his virginity as a high school freshman.  If she finds one who's religious, good looking, has a good career AND is a virgin, he's going to want a woman younger than Iris.

Yeah, this makes me think of late-20s David and teenage Evelyn from a previous season of 90 Day Fiancé. I don’t think David pursued Evelyn because she was the only virgin in a 4,000 mile radius.

[qtpye]

On 8/10/2019 at 10:55 AM, gonecrackers said:

Especially with it being filmed for all posterity. 

Unknowingly get matched with a virgin for a teevee show, marry her, find out she's pure off white, risk being the guy to deflower her while their families, friends, co-workers & whoever else watches this show hears all about it, theeeeen, if he figures out there's no future for actual love has to be the bad guy who popped her & left, or, be miserable for life - or at least until everyone forgets about them, which actually shouldn't take too long.

Yeeaaah, he's in a sticky spot that probably isn't too much of a turn on. 🙄

On 8/10/2019 at 3:38 AM, Jassie99 said:

I don't think Keith doesn't respect her for it but feels pressured by it. It is a barrier for him. She mentioned he doesn't tell her how sexy she is or seems to be turned on by her. I think he doesn't know how to handle it. Would she be okay with him coming on to her in a sexual way? Does she know how to respond? From the show she is freaked out by him using condoms and even talking about sex. It has to be a turn off. That has nothing to do with being a virgin. I know a few women whom waited till their mid 20's to have sex and were def. "sexual" and could discuss sex. I could see if she was 20 or even 23 but 27/28 her reactions to things is shocking. Its not as if she grew up on an Amish compound and has just been released. I also remember when Keith was on unfiltered and Jamie was shocked when he said he didn't want to have sex with Iris at that point in their marriage. I think for him its a huge deal to be her first esp. if this marriage doesn't work out. I really think he doesn't want that responsibility  in which she has regrets that she didn't wait. 

On 8/10/2019 at 7:39 PM, Kiss my mutt said:

If Greg would just back off a little and not always follow her around like a puppy, Deonna might take more of a role in wooing him if she’s attracted to him and invested enough. I think she is warming up to him and it’s nice to see her appear more relaxed and at home. 

I feel bad for Keith. It’s entirely too much pressure being put in that position. I bet Iris sure was surprised that he wasn’t “wowed” by her virginity. She needs to find a church guy for that. I don’t blame him for not wanting to go “there” with her if he isn’t 100% sure of their relationship and who could be at this point, anyway?

On 8/10/2019 at 9:02 PM, SadeO said:

Same. And it's never gone past me that these people are also lying or not telling the whole truth about their previous relationship history. 

If you're not ready to put your all into an experiment that has you doing something so extreme, what the hell were you thinking coming on this show?

Considering you had the confidence to apply for the show and go through the whole process, there must be some part of your personality that is impulsive. Why is she suddenly now cautious and going slow when youre already married. May as well go all in..but I guess they wont because there is the option of divorce. Should have joined a dating website instead.

Its also how I feel about Iris....you're married now. Why are you still holding on to your virginity as if you'll lose your very being without it. Im scared when she comes on the screen because I'm fearful its going to become something about her virginity. 

I cant even talk about the white couples because they're a hot mess. They've put their all in, as they seem impulsive, confused and messy AF. Both couples are just disasters. Beth and Jamie...pretty sure one of the will end up calling the police at some point in the relationship. 

Its just my opinion. I'm not trying to sour the mood sis.

22 hours ago, brilliantbreakfast said:

Apparently "Everything But" is part of "purity culture."  You can have oral sex, you can even receive anal, but still call yourself a virgin.  Iris isn't about saving herself for marriage, she's about how special she thinks her coochie is.  The problem with vaginal virginity being the holy grail is that once you define yourself by it, then not having it becomes unthinkable because your hymen is who you are.  Without that, even from a husband, what is she, under her own definition?  Why a woman who defines herself takes this kind of marital risk, I have no idea.  I also wonder where her virginity fetish came from.  It sure seems it didn't come from her mother, who appears to have run out of patience with her virginity cultishness.

To me Keith is a decent guy who understands he just can’t  take a sista’s virginity on national tv in front of God and his mama, until he is sure about the marriage. He totally gets that whether he likes it or not, that is going to make him look like a giant fuck boy. He is not being as physical with her because he is keeping himself under control. Iris interpreted this as lack of sexual attraction.

I hate the phrase “taking someone’s virginity”. Ladies, you are much more than a broke or intact hymen.

Edited August 12, 2019 by qtpye

[Lovecat]

19 hours ago, brilliantbreakfast said:

Apparently "Everything But" is part of "purity culture."  You can have oral sex, you can even receive anal, but still call yourself a virgin.  Iris isn't about saving herself for marriage, she's about how special she thinks her coochie is.  The problem with vaginal virginity being the holy grail is that once you define yourself by it, then not having it becomes unthinkable because your hymen is who you are.  Without that, even from a husband, what is she, under her own definition?  Why a woman who defines herself takes this kind of marital risk, I have no idea.  I also wonder where her virginity fetish came from.  It sure seems it didn't come from her mother, who appears to have run out of patience with her virginity cultishness.

If you (the community "you," not just BrilliantBreakfast, whose post I want to high-five) have a good sense of humor and are NOT easily offended or shocked, go ahead and google "Garfunkel and Oates The Loophole," a very naughty sendup of purity culture.  Those opposed to some coarse language and mild blasphemy should steer clear, though!  I was going to embed the video here, but didn't want to accidentally offend anyone!

26 minutes ago, qtpye said:

I hate the phrase “taking someone’s virginity”. Ladies, you are much more than a broke or intact hymen.

Preach!

[pdlinda]

7 hours ago, watchingtvaddict said:

I don't understand the Deonna hate. She is moving at a regular pace for someone who has just entered into a relationship and is understandably wary of a man who piles on the praise in the first two or so weeks of dates. 

They've had sex, she is into PDAs, she tells Greg the reasons he is a great guy (and the reasons sound sincere). 

If I had a guy telling me I was beautiful and amazing during the first two weeks of courtship I would assume he was just saying complementary things to get into my pants... Greg can be a little pushy. He wants Deonna to tell him what works like she is a puzzle to be solved, whereas Deonna just wants to go with the flow sometime. 

Pardon me for becoming exhausted just reacting to the "strategic planning" for this courtship stage that's rolled into a "marriage."  LOLOLOLLLLLL

[configdotsys]

1 hour ago, Lovecat said:

If you (the community "you," not just BrilliantBreakfast, whose post I want to high-five) have a good sense of humor and are NOT easily offended or shocked, go ahead and google "Garfunkel and Oates The Loophole," a very naughty sendup of purity culture.  Those opposed to some coarse language and mild blasphemy should steer clear, though!  I was going to embed the video here, but didn't want to accidentally offend anyone!

Preach!

LOL! That video was hilarous!

[MajorNelson]

1 hour ago, qtpye said:

To me Keith is a decent guy who understands he just can take a sista’s virginity on national tv in front of God and his mama, until he is sure about the marriage. He totally gets that whether he likes it or not, that is going to make him look like a giant fuck boy. He is not being as physical with her because he is keeping himself under control. Iris interpreted this as lack of sexual attraction.

Probably meant CAN'T up there...?

If so, easy mistake to make, our minds can skip over those "nots"

[Crazy Bird Lady]

On 8/11/2019 at 5:34 PM, Ilovepie said:

It’s true, I can’t stand Elizabeth for many of the reasons you have stated, but I find him a sulky, passive aggressive asshole. Neither of these two should have been chosen, as neither seems able to discuss any sort of disagreement without lashing out in a hurtful way. They both fight like juveniles hurling insults instead of truthfully saying why they are upset. Jamie is mad at her for focusing only on herself when viewing their pictures, but instead of saying “I was upset you only focused on yourself when we looked at the album” he instead calls her a materialistic C U Next Tuesday, or insults her for taking a job from her dad when he’s actually upset about her discussing his parents divorce on camera. She does lash out at him inappropriately, but I find him worse because he is stewing about it then deliberately unleashing pointed nastiness at her. And if its a minor annoyance, he’s sarcastically, flippantly rude. I personally can’t stand him, and I think he is worse than her.

You made some very good points. 

Sure, people are gonna snark on the color or condition of a MAFS participant's hair, the sound of their voice, the language they use, the way they dance, the clothes they wear, their housekeeping/cooking skills, and/or how much "work" they've had done -especially if it's on their boobs (or not). That's taken for granted, and we're welcome to snark away here (or not). 

I'm fine with that. But when we see fights that (even on-camera!) go below-the-belt and/or rip away chunks of a spouse's sense of self --or self-worth-- that stuff gets to me.  These couples risk serious damage to their long-term mental health! The worst thing is:  I honestly think some of these MAFS participants suffer from the delusion that the so-called MAFS "experts" actually do try to find compatible matches, (not matching couples for maximum TV drama) and that "the experts" follow-up with assignments and obligatory "couples games" and other activities to try to help the couples work out whatever problems they encounter along the way. 

Unfortunately -at least in my opinion- the "experts" do everything but.

Edited August 13, 2019 by Crazy Bird Lady

[Gem 10]

On 8/7/2019 at 10:33 PM, Cammi said:

I’m trying to look through the comments, but what did lucky ass Deanna get Greg for the anniversary? 

A headache?

[Gem 10]

On 8/8/2019 at 1:58 PM, AussieBabe said:

Whatever insult Jamie hurled had four letters, and they censored the word and her mouth. He either called her the word that rhymes with blunt or he called her the word that rhymes with cut. Neither are words you call your own wife or anyone in general. They should’ve NEVER been paired. End it now.

Iris can miss me with the virginal act. Child, you went on national television and told viewers that you’ve slobbed on a knob like corn on the cob, so the tears and histrionics about talking about your technical virginity are absolutely stupid and contrived. 

Deonna has no clue how to accept the kind of love and affection that Greg is giving to her. I guess she’s used to bam bam done and gone by sunrise in her situationships. She’s a prime example of praying or asking for something and not being ready to truly to receive it. It’s painful to watch Greg vying for the slightest affection. If she doesn’t appreciate him, I’m sure there are plenty of women who want to and would appreciate a good man. She needs to get out of her own way and seek therapy like he did. Not therapy from these trash experts on the show but a real one who can help her navigate this and not blow it. Deonna, you’re worthy of a man who thinks you’re more than good enough to smash and wants to take you home to meet his mum. It’s not fair for Greg to fall in love with the representative she’s putting forward and not her authentic self. 

Amber and Matt are in a legally binding situationship. I didn’t appreciate her Sharon Stone moments and flashing her lady parts in that mini dress. It’s not that hard to sit like a lady or here’s a thought, if you can’t...buy something longer! He doesn’t reciprocate at all. Make it stop!

Deonna is not clear about her past, unless I missed something.  She is very vague about everything, and we don’t know what’s the truth.  I find it odd that she has sex with Gregg once, then says once every other month.  Why is that, and what does that mean?  Why isn’t Pastor Cal in on this weird relationship?  They are the experts.  Find out what’s in Deonna head once and for all.  Greg is like a puppet on a string.

[topanga]

42 minutes ago, Gem 10 said:

Deonna is not clear about her past, unless I missed something.  She is very vague about everything, and we don’t know what’s the truth.  I find it odd that she has sex with Gregg once, then says once every other month.  Why is that, and what does that mean?  Why isn’t Pastor Cal in on this weird relationship?  They are the experts.  Find out what’s in Deonna head once and for all.  Greg is like a puppet on a string.

I hate it when a so-called expert—or anyone else—tells someone how they (the someone) must be feeling. I wanted to punch Pastor Cal when Deonna said she wasn’t sure she loved Greg (which means she probably doesn’t yet), and he told her that he believes she does love him already. Based on what? Because they no longer sat on opposite ends of the couch? Because they had sex once? I do think they’re getting closer and more comfortable with one another, but that doesn’t mean Deonna is in love. I think Greg is getting there, but Deonna needs more time and more internal reflection before she falls in love with Greg. If she falls in love at all. 

[LuvMyShows]

On 8/8/2019 at 4:03 PM, ramble said:

By the way, shut up Pastor Cal. You can be encouraging without condescendingly telling her what she feels. Ugh. 

That whole thing was bizarre.  Even for someone that you chose, being in love within a month would be quick.  And my guess is that in his counseling outside of this show, he would not push someone to be in love in 4 weeks, but he sure as heck is doing it here!

On 8/8/2019 at 4:06 PM, princelina said:

And then Amber was so nice to explain to us what "diamonds and pearls" meant!  

I must have missed this.  Does it have some significance besides being a Prince song?

On 8/8/2019 at 12:02 AM, Crazy Bird Lady said:

Jamie, on the other hand, does think before he speaks. And he still gets very nasty sometimes, even though what he says is thought out, not spur-of-the-moment emoting.

Yes he thinks before he speaks most of the time, but not all.  When he gets pushed to the max, he seems to be anger/spite spewing in spur-of-the-moment.

On 8/9/2019 at 1:55 PM, karenbrady said:

Deonna dresses horribly

Not all the time.  She was wearing an outfit in one of her 'talking heads' this episode that was an eggplant-colored top with a sand-colored shawl or something, and the color looked excellent on her.

[luvly]

Tbh,  I think Greg and Deonna are probably much closer than we're seeing. Two things that stood out to me: (1) their little "no regerts" inside joke as they walked to the restaurant is the kind of real-life intimacy you see with lasting couples instead of the fireworks magic that TV/movies try to sell and (2) Greg being hit right in the feels over Deonna wanting to wait until their real anniversary to eat their cake. They're going to be alright.

Also, "put on my pajamas", my ass; they definitely did the dirty that night. Deonna didn't take off any of her jewelery, neither of them drained the tub or picked up those little LED votives and the champagne, flutes, strawberries and whipped cream were still out on the nightstand. That was them wrapping up the scene so the camera man could leave and they could properly celebrate their monthiversary.

[Lindz]

On 8/7/2019 at 5:36 PM, Gem 10 said:

I am dumbfounded.  Just now on Unfiltered, Jamie asked Iris if she ever did oral sex, and Iris replied, “yes, I have done oral sex”.  I can hardly say the words, and they all talk about it like it’s nothing.  I just can’t.  If she has done that, then why not go all the way?  I am even ashamed to talk about it.  I’m not a prude, but I think that would be ultra private?  Or I am a square and not with the times?

She's a ho virgin & proud of it! 😂😂 I find it more bizarre that they don't tell each other how they feel or ask. That's the dumbest to me.

[Lindz]

19 hours ago, watchingtvaddict said:

Jamie is scary. 

Beth is impossible to deal with and she can be very dramatic about things... but Jamie doesn't voice his opinion until it explodes and then he is mean in a very cold and calculating way. 

I understand why Beth feels rattled after encounters with him. 

Also, why can't she leave but if he leaves its fine? 

Because he's an abusive, controlling prick. Issa wrap! He's seemingly the more sane one & said that bs. He's cancelled! 

[Lindz]

On 8/7/2019 at 6:55 PM, Soup333 said:

Jamie isn’t wrong but all this bitching over a photo album? Dude. 

He is wrong. He made himself upset over nothing. He's supposed to be more sane, but chose to fight over THAT?? He's an abusive prick that followed her into the other room to spew disgusting language at her.

[Lindz]

Ohhhhkayyy. Anyone else blown away by how Elizabeth went in on Matt saying what he did was trash?? Her poor delivery is why she's dismissed as crazy. I just wanna know if she goes off on Jamie like that with their dysfunction. I doubt it. Mighty easy to come down on someone that isn't your spouse, huh? I wonder if another couple acted out their issues if she'd point them out so easily. Idk WTF Matt's problem is not informing his wife about what he's doing while he was out. Weird. Hella disrespectful. 

[Gem 10]

5 hours ago, Lindz said:

He is wrong. He made himself upset over nothing. He's supposed to be more sane, but chose to fight over THAT?? He's an abusive prick that followed her into the other room to spew disgusting language at her.

A normal husband would probably laugh that she is  only concentrating on herself, but Jamie is like a girl, gets insulted right away and walks out.  She’s high strung, but he’s a whiney little girl.. A person would have to watch their every move with this guy.  The majority of men are not like him.  They would laugh her off.

[Lindz]

Gotta say, I'm happy with this season's black couples. No serious dysfunction like Tristan & Mia,  Jephte & Shawniece, Nate & Sheila, or Monet & Vaughn. #RELIEVED 

[Yeah No]

41 minutes ago, Gem 10 said:

A normal husband would probably laugh that she is  only concentrating on herself, but Jamie is like a girl, gets insulted right away and walks out.  She’s high strung, but he’s a whiney little girl.. A person would have to watch their every move with this guy.  The majority of men are not like him.  They would laugh her off.

I was away on vacation for several days so I watched the show late and haven't had time for this thread, but this is exactly what I would have said about Jamie and his reaction.  Excuse my language, but he's a baby and a pussy to boot.  We know that Elizabeth can at times be or at least seem overly self-centered, but that was not necessarily an example of it.  I have been known to look at photos of hubbie and me and the first thing I focus on is how "fat" I look or whatever.  It doesn't mean that all I care about is myself in general.  Jamie is so insecure that he "catasphrophizes" little events that really have no greater meaning into a huge horrible issue, and then reacts to that issue as if it's very real.  It blows up into a big bad monster in his mind, out to squash him down and make him totally insignificant.  This is the second time he's made Elizabeth into a monster in their relationship.  The first time was after she innocently asked about his parents' divorce, and he reacted exactly the same way, except that time he knew they were on camera so all he did (at first, before blowing up) was insult her over and over again with a seething look on his face.  Elizabeth is a handful, but this guy is just TOXIC.  I felt sorry for her!

[Gem 10]

12 minutes ago, Yeah No said:

I was away on vacation for several days so I watched the show late and haven't had time for this thread, but this is exactly what I would have said about Jamie and his reaction.  Excuse my language, but he's a baby and a pussy to boot.  We know that Elizabeth can at times be or at least seem overly self-centered, but that was not necessarily an example of it.  I have been known to look at photos of hubbie and me and the first thing I focus on is how "fat" I look or whatever.  It doesn't mean that all I care about is myself in general.  Jamie is so insecure that he "catasphrophizes" little events that really have no greater meaning into a huge horrible issue, and then reacts to that issue as if it's very real.  It blows up into a big bad monster in his mind, out to squash him down and make him totally insignificant.  This is the second time he's made Elizabeth into a monster in their relationship.  The first time was after she innocently asked about his parents' divorce, and he reacted exactly the same way, except that time he knew they were on camera so all he did (at first, before blowing up) was insult her over and over again with a seething look on his face.  Elizabeth is a handful, but this guy is just TOXIC.  I felt sorry for her!

Yes.  I don’t get what was so wrong with her asking about his parents divorce.  It’s a legitimate question, and she looked very concerned.  She wants to know about his life.  He blew up.  What?  Is he a baby?  That’s life.

[Elizzikra]

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Not all the time.  She was wearing an outfit in one of her 'talking heads' this episode that was an eggplant-colored top with a sand-colored shawl or something, and the color looked excellent on her.

I agree. She looked cute on the honeymoon. She had one outfit in particular, when they were playing shuffleboard, that I wish I could wear but I don't have the figure for it.

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I find it odd that she has sex with Gregg once, then says once every other month. 

Once more with feeling -DEONNA DID NOT SAY THIS! Greg asked if that would be enough for her and she said yes, IF that was what came about naturally between them. She doesn't want to schedule sex or have a quota. She NEVER said that her preferred frequency was once every other month.

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A normal husband would probably laugh that she is  only concentrating on herself, but Jamie is like a girl, gets insulted right away and walks out.  She’s high strung, but he’s a whiney little girl.. A person would have to watch their every move with this guy.  The majority of men are not like him.  They would laugh her off.

I don't love the gender stereotypes. Jamie may indeed get insulted right away but there's nothing particularly feminine or "girl-like" about that trait. Being whiny isn't limited to females either. And who's to say if the majority of men would react as Jamie did or not? I could see Jamie's point thought I am willing to concede that the scene might have been edited to depict Elizabeth as only focused on herself when they were looking at the wedding photos. It bugged me too when she said that she thought a majority of brides would be focused on how they looked in the wedding photos to the exclusion of all else. I wasn't - the most interesting photos to me were the ones I wasn't in - I know what I look like. There's a lot to dislike about Jamie but I think Elizabeth is self-centered and overly dramatic. If I were forced to spend an hour with one of them, I'd choose Jamie over Elizabeth.

[Yeah No]

55 minutes ago, Gem 10 said:

Yes.  I don’t get what was so wrong with her asking about his parents divorce.  It’s a legitimate question, and she looked very concerned.  She wants to know about his life.  He blew up.  What?  Is he a baby?  That’s life.

I think Jamie is afraid of becoming nothing but a chorus or a subordinate in the relationship with Elizabeth.  Let's face it, she is one of those very extroverted people that just naturally with no bad intent puts the focus on herself.  She is a BIG personality.  He is reacting like he's afraid he will be doing nothing but caretaking her and catering to her and won't get anything like that in return from her.  I'm not convinced he is justified in that fear.  I think if he could be an adult about it and knew what his real feelings were and articulated them to her, she could help make him feel better about it and learn to keep herself more in check to allow him to feel like the one doted on at least 50% of the time.   But sadly, I don't think he's mature (or self aware) enough for that.

58 minutes ago, Elizzikra said:

I don't love the gender stereotypes. Jamie may indeed get insulted right away but there's nothing particularly feminine or "girl-like" about that trait. Being whiny isn't limited to females either. And who's to say if the majority of men would react as Jamie did or not? 

I just wanted to clarify that I meant no insult to pussycats in general when I called Jamie a "pussy".  I am well aware that a lot of pussycats would not react to the likes of Elizabeth in such a whiny fashion, LOL.  😉 

And, in support of the men from my generation (not sure about others), I can pretty much vouch for the majority of them that they would not react as Jamie did in that situation, and thank goodness.

[princelina]

15 hours ago, LuvMyShows said:

I must have missed this.  Does it have some significance besides being a Prince song?

She says that "diamonds and pearls" are how he feels about her and their marriage.

6 hours ago, Elizzikra said:

 There's a lot to dislike about Jamie but I think Elizabeth is self-centered and overly dramatic. If I were forced to spend an hour with one of them, I'd choose Jamie over Elizabeth.

Yes - I'd rather hang out with him or have him as a coworker (than her).  But I do think he is the meaner spouse.

[Neurochick]

On 8/11/2019 at 3:33 PM, Ohwell said:

If the so-called "experts" had any sense, on Decision Day they would recommend that Jamie and Beth get divorced because if they stay together, I fear things will not end well.  They are vicious towards each other.

I think they should get divorced before decision day.

[Ilovepie]

6 hours ago, Gem 10 said:

I don’t get what was so wrong with her asking about his parents divorce.

He mentioned in a TH or something (can't remember exactly since it was a couple episodes ago) that she knew how he felt about his parent's divorce, which to me implies that they had discussed it already off camera and it was a sore subject. Instead of getting pissy and insulting her, he should have just said in that moment that he wasn't comfortable talking about it on camera.

[Stinamaia]

On 8/8/2019 at 7:52 AM, Neurochick said:

Yes, to this.  He could have made a joke about it.  I think he's still sore because of the "basic Caucasian sex" comment.   I think he called her the C word too.  Folks on Twitter thought it was the B word, but I don't think Beth would have gotten so upset at that word.  

I laughed at Beth's TH.  There she was crying, "why does this always happen to ME ME ME ME."  Yes, you are self centered dear.  News flash, if it's always happening to you, maybe you're the problem.  

Matt should NEVER sing, EVER.

I don't get Deonna....I take that back, I do get her.  She's just waiting for the other shoe to drop.  She's afraid that Greg is too good to be true and that's sad.  IMO a lot of brown skinned black women have been told from very young that they're not pretty enough, not good enough, not feminine, all that shit.  I mean look at all types of media these days.  If a black girl is a love interest, she's either light skinned with straight or curly hair, or if she's dark skinned she's wearing a weave.  Maybe Deonna in some way believes that shit and is just waiting for Greg to tell her she's not good enough.  

Aww, I kind of like the Mustard Seed print.

Deonna is beautiful. I didn’t think so at first, but as I watch her more I find her more beautiful. Maybe it’s her cute ways and graceful carriage. But also her delicious mouth and cheeks and soft figure. 

Its sad the ways racist thoughts burrow into our minds. I hope she doesn’t feel this way.  I certainly don’t think Greg does. 

[gonecrackers]

1 hour ago, princelina said:

Yes - I'd rather hang out with him or have him as a coworker (than her).  But I do think he is the meaner spouse.

Liz would be obnoxious (& probably half naked) to hang with, & Jamie would probably be fine to be around until he gets pissed off. 

They're toxic together & need to call it a day.

[Magoo]

On 8/8/2019 at 9:10 PM, Ilovepie said:

I really think Iris is delusional about how most men her age view being married to a virgin. I think she thought her new husband would be thrilled and grateful.

You’re right.  She said as much to her own mom, who then gave her the sort-of “get over your virginal self” chat.  She has lived with the fantasy that her future husband would be forever blinded by gratitude that she’s saved herself for him and she could hold that over him forever more. Not so much. She’s  not taking it well that the virginal carrot she’s dangled her entire adult life is actually a burden - she has no idea what to do with this reality. 

[watchingtvaddict]

22 minutes ago, Magoo said:

You’re right.  She said as much to her own mom, who then gave her the sort-of “get over your virginal self” chat.  She has lived with the fantasy that her future husband would be forever blinded by gratitude that she’s saved herself for him and she could hold that over him forever more. Not so much. She’s  not taking it well that the virginal carrot she’s dangled her entire adult life is actually a burden - she has no idea what to do with this reality. 

Iris is pretty open about her virginity. How has no one else told her a 27 year old virgin would be seen more as a burden than a gift? And any decent guy would delay having sex with her if he didn’t intend to be with her forever/was unsure about their future together . 

She needs to revise her thoughts on sex and stop privileging her husband’s opinion. If she wants to have sex, she should have it and make peace with the possibility she divorces after 8 weeks. She is an adult as is Keith and she put herself in this position. If she believes it’s important to only have sex with one person for the rest of her life she should cut Keith free and find a man who is 100% on board with marrying a virgin. 

[Ilovepie]

3 hours ago, watchingtvaddict said:

She needs to revise her thoughts on sex and stop privileging her husband’s opinion. If she wants to have sex, she should have it and make peace with the possibility she divorces after 8 weeks. She is an adult as is Keith and she put herself in this position. If she believes it’s important to only have sex with one person for the rest of her life she should cut Keith free and find a man who is 100% on board with marrying a virgin. 

I agree completely. She is very naive about how her partner would perceive her in this situation. Also, someone who is engaging in “everything but” up to/and including oral is not that pure. She is deluding herself that she is some pure bride. She needs to just do it already and stop putting so much value on vaginal intercourse, especially since she’s “done other stuff”. Good grief, her own mother was like, “what are you waiting for?!?” .....

[Lindz]

So much for Jamie being the husband she needed him to be and seeing her side. Do people even remember their thoughtful vows after they say them?? They're supposed to actually LIVE THEM!! 😂😂

[geej]

On 8/12/2019 at 11:23 AM, Lovecat said:

"Garfunkel and Oates

i LOVE those girls! and the loophole is hysterical.

[Lily247]

On 8/12/2019 at 10:45 PM, Gem 10 said:

Deonna is not clear about her past, unless I missed something.  She is very vague about everything, and we don’t know what’s the truth.  I find it odd that she has sex with Gregg once, then says once every other month.  Why is that, and what does that mean?  Why isn’t Pastor Cal in on this weird relationship?  They are the experts.  Find out what’s in Deonna head once and for all.  Greg is like a puppet on a string.

Ive only seen snippets, but I understand what Deonna does NOT see in Greg. I could not be attracted to a guy who always showers me with complements, vies for my attention, and just tries so goddamn hard to get affection. Its that simple. Women are not wired to be attracted to that, we like someone who has a purpose in life beyond us and who is charming but not Mr Groveling nice guy. Exhibit B - Matt and Amber's relationship. 

Edited August 15, 2019 by Lily247

[Gem 10]

8 hours ago, Lily247 said:

Ive only seen snippets, but I understand what Deonna does NOT see in Greg. I could not be attracted to a guy who always showers me with complements, vies for my attention, and just tries so goddamn hard to get affection. Its that simple. Women are not wired to be attracted to that, we like someone who has a purpose in life beyond us and who is charming but not Mr Groveling nice guy. Exhibit B - Matt and Amber's relationship. 

Greg is like a little puppy dog waiting for his bone.  Although she acts cutesy, she’s like a dictator, and he takes it.  He’s not strong enough for her.  Keith, I can’t figure out at all.:  Deonna has had sex before Greg and with Greg, and I have a feeling she doesn’t care for it.  Why would she say once every other month?  Greg has already said he wants more.  Pastor Cal might say that is normal for some folks, but In this case, Greg wants more.  Then, it is not normal for this couple.

Edited August 15, 2019 by Gem 10

[Elizzikra]

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Women are not wired to be attracted to that, we like someone who has a purpose in life beyond us and who is charming but not Mr Groveling nice guy.

I'm actually pretty attracted to men who are nice to me (and I'm a woman). I think this is a stereotype and like all stereotypes, it just won't die. I think Deonna is suspicious of how nice Greg is - how he really seems too good to be true. I waited a long time to get married and I adore my husband. Sure he has a purpose in life beyond me in that he has a job and hobbies and friends - but then again, one of the things I love most about him is that our marriage and our family are his top priority. I think Greg is like that. As long as we have been together, I still pinch myself sometimes wondering if this is real; waiting for the other shoe to drop. I think that's Deonna in a nutshell.

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Why would she say once every other month?

In response, I quote myself:

Quote

Once more with feeling -DEONNA DID NOT SAY THIS! Greg asked if that would be enough for her and she said yes, IF that was what came about naturally between them. She doesn't want to schedule sex or have a quota. She NEVER said that her preferred frequency was once every other month.

I didn't watch last night's episode yet so unless Deonna said "I only want sex once every 8 weeks" in last night's episode, she has yet to state this as her preference.