S03.E18: Her

[ShadowFacts]

15 minutes ago, doodlebug said:

There is also the absolute fact that both kids and adults can enjoy activities even if they are not purely passionate and devoted to them.  Anyone who wants to open a dance studio and limit their clientele to those who meet their mythical criteria for appropriate talent and devotion to the craft is going to be sorely disappointed.  Housewives with 10 lbs to lose who enjoy dancing are just as entitled to take classes as someone who aspires to great artistic heights as a dancer.  Same with kids who'd rather do dance class than soccer or scouting.  If Beth's attitude is such that she feels she is only able to relate to folks who love it as much as she does and who are striving as hard as she has to become skilled; she is not only going to go broke, she is going to be sorely disappointed and unhappy in her career.  Not every kid

That critique is very valid against the studio owner, but I don't think it applies to Beth.  She immediately took off for Philadelphia to look for homes and possibly studio space.  If she felt the same way as her ungrateful employer about women who want to lose weight, she could have just quit that job and opened a place focusing on serious students near their current home.  I felt it was Beth's realization that there are potential students everywhere that led to her decision.

[Katy M]

22 minutes ago, doodlebug said:

There is also the absolute fact that both kids and adults can enjoy activities even if they are not purely passionate and devoted to them.  Anyone who wants to open a dance studio and limit their clientele to those who meet their mythical criteria for appropriate talent and devotion to the craft is going to be sorely disappointed.  Housewives with 10 lbs to lose who enjoy dancing are just as entitled to take classes as someone who aspires to great artistic heights as a dancer.  Same with kids who'd rather do dance class than soccer or scouting.  If Beth's attitude is such that she feels she is only able to relate to folks who love it as much as she does and who are striving as hard as she has to become skilled; she is not only going to go broke, she is going to be sorely disappointed and unhappy in her career.  Not every kid

You can have an elite dance school, but you have to have the reputation first.  You can't go in cold and decide that's what you're going to do.  Because the elite dancers are going to want the elite teachers with a proven track record.

[PRgal]

Re hospice care:  you can get home hospice care.  Perhaps that’s what elderly Rebecca has?

[dcubed]

16 hours ago, watcher1006 said:

I think the flash forward was a mistake. Whatever one thinks of the futures of the characters that were shown, it robs the episodes to come of some of their intrigue or at least unnecessarily colors them for the viewer.

Certainly different strokes and all but if that was the case, this show wouldn't work at all.  Because from the 1st episode, there were flash-forwards/flash-backs from the past to the present.   The ending of the episode showed Rebecca and Miguel arriving at Randall's door.  Remember the shock and outrage?  All the discussion of where's Jack?  It created nothing but intrigue and water-cooler talk.  I don't mind them at all but again, that may be just me. 

[Dowel Jones]

1 hour ago, ProudMary said:

This will be an unpopular opinion but I think that the camera's focus on Beth's rings may very well be the ultimate TIU misdirect.

Maybe Beth has started working for The Osterman Umbrella Company.

51 minutes ago, doodlebug said:

There is also the absolute fact that both kids and adults can enjoy activities a lot even if they are not purely passionate and devoted to them....

I probably should have phrased my comment a bit differently.  What I meant was not so much that business owners (in this case, a dance studio) have disdain for their clients, but, more appropriately, realize that they aren't going past the studio level and work from that perspective.  Certainly my relative never progressed in dance herself, but realized early on she could provide a good service at that level, and provide a good income for her family.  Disclaimer:  I am most certainly NOT the one to comment about others' inability to dance.

[kili]

Quote

Not to mention that the big fight between Randall and Beth was solved by them...deciding to move!!! That's it? That's going to solve their problems? 

I'm not sure that everything is settled just yet. Sure, they are moving to Philadelphia, so both get their dream jobs, but they will still face the "who will take care of the kids?" conflict. 

Being a councilman will still require Randall to spend a lot of time attending various meetings and talking to constituents. He's lost his long drive, but not all of his long hours. Randall never does anything by halves, so he is likely to go all in.

Meanwhile, Beth is starting her new business. That's lots of long hours too and if she is targeting younger students, that is a lot of after school and weekend classes.  Starting out, she's going to have to teach many of those classes herself and then spend more time doing the books, planning recitals and advertising her school. If one of her teachers is ill, she may have to fill in for the class herself because she doesn't have enough employees that one is available (the buck stops with her).

Won't we be back to the same conflict when Beth has a recital the same night Randall has some council meeting that drags on for hours (because the 150 people showed up to have a chance to address council about some zoning change) and Annie needs help with her homework? Fundamentally, both jobs are going to require long hours during the same hours their kids might need them. There is plenty more to work out next year.

I was kind of surprised that nothing was said about Deja suddenly joining the debate team and needing a drive out to Newark. While it's great that Beth and Randall support their kids in all their endeavors, one can ask them to pick a few activities to focus on or to get other parents to drive because the family is getting stretched too thin. While it turned out to be a fake debate club, they may not be able to accommodate all requests next year (they won't even have their family backups to babysit in Philly).

[memememe76]

I don't see anything in the scene where Beth agreed with her boss' assessment of their clients. I think Beth knew the type of students she was teaching--her joking around with one of the participants just before the boss came to talk illustrated that. Beth was trying to establish rapport with her group. 

I think Beth came to the realization that she did not have to be in that exact city, in that exact building, teaching those exact students to have her dreams fulfilled. 

[Trillian]

56 minutes ago, JKL845 said:

The attitude the woman at the dance studio had didn't sit right. Telling Beth not to worry it will be easy because it's JUST housewives who want to lose 10 lbs. So it's okay to give clients subpar service if you don't approve of their motivation for taking the class? 

I just took the comment to mean that it wasn’t a demanding class to have to take over on short notice. It reminded me of a story one of my profs told me about when she was asked, as a grad student,  to fill in on short notice and lecture outside her immediate field of expertise. Her supervisor replied “don’t worry, they’re just undergrads. No matter what, you know more than they do”.  Not so much an attack on undergrads as a comment on the lack of complexity of the subject matter. 

[Katy M]

19 minutes ago, kili said:

I'm not sure that everything is settled just yet. Sure, they are moving to Philadelphia, so both get their dream jobs, but they will still face the "who will take care of the kids?" conflict. 

Annie's the only one they really have to worry about. Philly has public transportation, so if the big question was what about Deja and Tess'a after-school acitvities, that has now been solved.  Plus, if Beth is going to own her own studio, she can set the times where she has class.

[Sharyn]

7 hours ago, Phoebe70 said:

Anyone else rolling their eyes at Deja’s speech?  Teens don’t talk that way. I have yet to hear a teenager use the word “stipend” in conversation. 🙄

I actually loved Deja's speech.  I think she knew that was one way he'd actually listen to her.  Most teens would not speak that way, you are correct but remember, Deja was in Foster Care.  She would sadly know all about stipends especially when her temporary foster parents squandered the stipend on themselves while the kids went hungry.  

[Jax7917]

16 hours ago, Emily Thrace said:

I don't know about Kevin getting back together with Sophie. If the flashforwards are 15 years ahead and mini Kevin is 10 then Kevin and Sophie would be 42 when he is born. Which isn't impossible but it does make it less likely. I also wouldn't rule out Zoe just because the kid looks white, mixed race kids come in all colors. Especially since Zoe is fairly light skinned herself.

Yes . I think it’s gonna be Zoe’s kid or they end up adopting later on when she changes her mind . I think they were trying to throw us off . 

[General Days]

2 hours ago, ProudMary said:

Kate mentioned to Rebecca afterwards that she specifically did NOT tap Jack's foot because she wanted to make sure that a nurse would respond quickly to Jack's alarms sounding if she was not there to tap him. She was running a test of her own and from the camera shots, it didn't look as if a nurse was coming. Kate probably should have alerted Rebecca to the idea that she was going to do that the next time Jack "forgot" to breathe though.

That's not what happened.

NICU SCENE

(After the nurse confirms the baby is okay and walks off, Kate turns to Rebecca.)

KATE: I would have tapped him, but I wanted to make sure the nurses were coming.

REBECCA: I know you would have done that. Of course.

KATE: No. When I hold him, it regulates his breathing, but I put him down, because you were driving me crazy.

REBECCA: Um, I'm gonna just uh -- I'm gonna head back to your house and I'll um take Audio to the dog park.

/end scene

The implication was that she was going to tap him after she got the nurse. She didn't say or (imo) imply she was testing the nurses. She said nothing about seeing how they'd respond when she isn't there. To me, Kate also looked clearly upset that she didn't think to tap the baby's foot before going for the nurse. I don't think what she did was horribly wrong and do think she would have thought to tap the baby's foot eventually, but it seems to me she freaked a little, which is gonna happen at first. She has so much to worry about and so much information to absorb. I didn't see a plan on her face. I saw panic.

In a separate, silent scene in the NICU, Kate finds Rebecca's detailed list of "NICU Rules," and seems touched (and maybe a little impressed). Their next scene together is at home. 

KATE'S HOUSE SCENE

(Kate arrives home to find Rebecca sitting at the table, using a laptop computer.)

REBECCA: Hi

KATE: Hi

REBECCA:  How's the baby?

KATE: He's good. He slept for most of the day. Toby just got to the hospital, so I'm just gonna take a shower and I'll head back.  (She starts to walk out of view.)

REBECCA: Hey, Bug.

KATE: Mm hmm.

REBECCA: I'm sorry if I uh overstepped. (She pauses, before adding...) Or if the idea of us moving out here makes you feel--

KATE: No. You knew exactly what to do today. You always know exactly what to do. 

REBECCA: That's not true.

KATE: Yeah, it is. It is, and I just feel like I'm never going to be as good a mom as you. 

REBECCA: Also not true.

KATE: I need you to know -- the way that I react to you sometimes -- it's -- it's on me. It's my own insecurities. I don't know how the hell I'm ever going to live up to you. You know, you have this magical quality, just being you. You always made us feel really safe. I want you to be here. For me -- even more for Jack. You know? I want my son to grow up with the Rebecca Pearson-level magic too. 

REBECCA: I think that's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.

KATE: Mom. Well good. (They hug)

REBECCA: Thank you.

KATE: Mom, can I just apologize in advance for uh being triggered by everything you're going to say and treating you like a punching bag for the next year or two, because... (they both chuckle)

REBECCA: That's fine. That's what I'm here for. 

/end scene
 

1 hour ago, Tikichick said:

I heard Kate tell her mother that she was running to get the nurse -- and thank her mother for remembering what to do because she(Kate) completely lost her head, panicked and could only think to run for the nurse.  She then went on to say that Rebecca always knew what to do, was a "magical" mother, etc.  

See above. I transcribed their two scenes.  I didn't transcribe the beginning half of the NICU scene, when Rebecca was (imo) overstepping about having the baby out of the isolette, but pretty much Kate was (understandably) annoyed.

She put the baby down and it was just seconds before the alarm went off. She immediately called for the nurse, then walked around the isolette and a few steps past it to see if she could flag down a nurse. Meanwhile, Rebecca tapped baby Jack's foot and the alarm stopped sounding. Rebecca tried to reassure Kate that the baby was okay, and then the nurse came over and confirmed it. After the nurse walked away is when I started transcribing.

[Cowgirl]

Judging by the beard, Toby joins a ZZ Top cover band in the future?

[Lady Calypso]

2 hours ago, Granny58 said:

I don't understand why people think Randall is flighty and Beth is a martyr.  As I recall, Randall spent YEARS drudging away in a very stressful job to the point of a breakdown.  That certainly wasn't his dream job!  Beth was working at her dream job when he wanted to run for office, right?  So everything still seemed very stable.  And she was ON BOARD for the ONE job that he actually wanted.   Yes he tracked down his dad and brought him to the family, but that doesn't threaten their financial security.   To my way of seeing it, she has done what she wanted for years and he is finally getting a chance to do the same. 

I see this another way. Beth was working part time for 10 years while Randall worked his long hours. She did this so she could work from home and care for the kids. It was really more about him quitting his job at the end of season 1 but then taking on a whole bunch of passion projects. He took William in, which was fine and all, but the man was dying. The moment he died, Randall decided to quit his job because he realized he wasn't happy. That's fine and all, but then he decided to adopt a kid right off the bat (Beth had to compromise to fostering). Then, after Deja left their home, Randall decided to buy William's building in another state. Then Deja came back and they adopted her. Then he decided to run for an election in another state. 

Beth probably would have been fine working as an urban planner for a few more years but the difference here is that she got laid off. She lost her job and suddenly needed to find a new career path. She didn't make the decision to leave her job to pursue her dream, and she applied to several jobs with no luck. Randall had the last couple of years to pursue his dreams, but neither of them, in no way, were pursuing their true dreams before the series started, as it turns out. Both were in comfortable, stable jobs. 

Randall's been flighty since the series started. Beth's no martyr, that's for sure, but she's been very patient with Randall's sudden choices the last three years. 

1 hour ago, dcubed said:

Certainly different strokes and all but if that was the case, this show wouldn't work at all.  Because from the 1st episode, there were flash-forwards/flash-backs from the past to the present.   The ending of the episode showed Rebecca and Miguel arriving at Randall's door.  Remember the shock and outrage?  All the discussion of where's Jack?  It created nothing but intrigue and water-cooler talk.  I don't mind them at all but again, that may be just me. 

I think the difference is that they weren't technically flash forwarding before the end of last season. The present day timelines is the main storyline. It's why it's the present day, so the flashbacks that they have are used to show how the present day characters turned out and how it shaped their lives. While the flash forwards are different; the issue with the flash forwards is that they can't show who the present day characters are. The flash forwards are essentially a subplot rather than a main plot. Our perspective isn't mainly taking place in the future, so what happens is that the flash forwards are starting to dictate the present day storylines. 

For example, Randall/Beth were shown to have problems in the present day and the flash forwards. The issue here is that they made sure the flash forwards were shrouded with mystery and the whole question about Randall/Beth being divorced, so it hindered Randall/Beth in the present day storyline. The two storylines were tethered with the mystery of Randall/Beth possibly divorcing, which ended up being a waste of time since Randall/Beth are not divorced in the future. So all of their scenes in the flash forwards kind of brought down the Randall/Beth marital problems in the present day for me. 

Flash forwards, for me, can only work in select shows. This Is Us is not one of those shows. They only have a limited amount that they can tell in the flash forwards since they don't affect what happens in the present day stuff (it also becomes dumb when the flash forwards are 15 years into the future, so whatever happens in the flash forwards is probably not going to be done in the present day stuff, like Beth/Randall divorcing). 

49 minutes ago, kili said:

Being a councilman will still require Randall to spend a lot of time attending various meetings and talking to constituents. He's lost his long drive, but not all of his long hours. Randall never does anything by halves, so he is likely to go all in.

Meanwhile, Beth is starting her new business. That's lots of long hours too and if she is targeting younger students, that is a lot of after school and weekend classes.  Starting out, she's going to have to teach many of those classes herself and then spend more time doing the books, planning recitals and advertising her school. If one of her teachers is ill, she may have to fill in for the class herself because she doesn't have enough employees that one is available (the buck stops with her).

Won't we be back to the same conflict when Beth has a recital the same night Randall has some council meeting that drags on for hours (because the 150 people showed up to have a chance to address council about some zoning change) and Annie needs help with her homework? Fundamentally, both jobs are going to require long hours during the same hours their kids might need them. There is plenty more to work out next year.

Yes, Randall won't be able to change his schedule, even when they move to Philly. But the difference in the family moving and Randall commuting is that Randall is more available during an emergency, if Randall had to get to the kids or get to Beth. Whether that's a legit medical emergency or needing to pick up the kids or simply being able to go home for dinner before an evening political event. 

Also, to point out, as much as I have been defending Beth this season and enjoying her, she's not making a good choice here either. I'm not only critical of Randall right now.

Beth opening up a dance studio now isn't something I necessarily want. I'm glad she gets to do something she loves, but she just got back into dance. It would be easier if she had her husband's support, especially now moving to a new place and both of them starting on their new career paths. So I'm definitely not jumping up and down for Beth choosing to open her own dance studio. She needs a little more experience with teaching, at the very least. Three weeks is barely anything to really get an idea of how to open a dance studio. She could definitely figure it out, but it's going to take time and energy. With their girls starting at a new school, this is also a huge adjustment for them and I don't think their family can handle everyone going through a transitional period. 

Like Tess mentioned to Kevin, she recognized her parents were under a lot of stress so she didn't want to bother them. What do Randall and Beth think is going to happen when their kids see Beth stressed out over starting her new business or Randall stressed over political events and they might not want to go to them with their problems and their feelings about starting over in a new city? 

And what's worse is that their entire extended family is in LA now or elsewhere, so Tess/Annie/Deja won't have Uncle Kevin, Aunt Zoe, Grandma, or Grandpa for help. Sure, they could call them, but it's not the same. 

It's one thing if they were just moving to a new state. That's stressful enough, but manageable. It's a different story when it's moving to a new state, starting at a new school, both parents starting new jobs, AND not living near other family members anymore. 

[JKL845]

1 hour ago, Trillian said:

I just took the comment to mean that it wasn’t a demanding class to have to take over on short notice. It reminded me of a story one of my profs told me about when she was asked, as a grad student,  to fill in on short notice and lecture outside her immediate field of expertise. Her supervisor replied “don’t worry, they’re just undergrads. No matter what, you know more than they do”.  Not so much an attack on undergrads as a comment on the lack of complexity of the subject matter. 

I don't know, sounds condescending to me. As does your story. Maybe it's the JUST. You can't know everyone's background or presume to. Maybe some of those people wanted to be challenged. Would have sounded better for Beth and your story if they were told something like "don't worry, I know you can handle this".

[JudyObscure]

1 hour ago, yellowcalla said:

After all, Rebecca bent down to rescue the peaches she had bought for her. 

And I thought that was incredibly dumb. Rebecca can be such a flake sometimes.   I was already irritated by the peaches accident,  when she just had to interrupt baby Jack's busy doctor.  First to find her notebook and then to ask about spelling, both things she could have done immediately after the doctor left.  I just felt so nervous for Kate having to hear about her baby's heart stopping, while her mother was adding to the anxiety of the situation.

Rebecca walking to a liquor store when she was due to deliver triplets  so she could buy flour and sugar to make a cake.  Rebecca going to bed with the crock pot, she knew was wonky, still plugged in. She never seems to hold herself responsible for the ditzy things she does either.

[memememe76]

It's one thing if they were just moving to a new state. That's stressful enough, but manageable. It's a different story when it's moving to a new state, starting at a new school, both parents starting new jobs, AND not living near other family members anymore.

But if families are moving to a new state, the other circumstances will likely change too--a new school, new jobs, and not living near other family members (maybe not that last one, you can move to a new state closer to family--and, I guess, technically, they are closer now to Rebecca, Kate, et al, heh). 

As a West Coaster, I guess I don't see the problem. Is Philly and that suburb in NJ really that far away? Distance wise, moving from, say, Sacramento to San Diego has to be longer, right? Would having the move be within the same state really be that helpful for the kids? 

[HappyHanna]

I am sure that this has been brought up somewhere in this board, but, I didn't see it in this thread. With all R&B's talk about needing to cut back, downsize, etc because they only have Randall's city council salary (and whatever Beth is making on dance teaching, which I imagine isn't much) to live on, I imagined that city council was a part time, barely paid job.  I googled. https://data.phila.gov/visualizations/employee-salaries Base salary for a Philadelphia City Council member is $130,000.  I am sure that is a huge cut from whatever Randall was making in his previous job, but it isn't exactly poverty wage.  Or anything close to it.  

Of all the unrealities of this show, I don't know why this is the one that bothers me. 

[Violetgoblin6]

16 hours ago, scarynikki12 said:

My first thought was that Rebecca recently had a stroke. That would explain the children’s games (fun things to do that double as recovery exercises), Tess being unsure about seeing her, Randall reminding her who he is, and the medical set up at Kevin’s. May turn out to be something else but that’s what I’m guessing. 

My question is this: if Kevin lives in LA in the future, should we assume that Randall, Beth, and Tess all move there as well? Otherwise why wouldn’t they arrive together since Randall and Beth would surely be on the same flight? I guess Tess could be living there and Randall just picked her up and Beth was at the dance studio cause she was visiting a teacher friend. Hope they clear that up. 

Show runner, Isaac something, said Kevin's home is in relatively short driving distance to Beth's studio. So east coast? 

[kili]

Quote

Rebecca going to bed with the crock pot, she knew was wonky, still plugged in.

That's not on Rebecca. Jack was the one that did that. He offered to clean up and not only left the crock pot plugged in, but added fuel to the fire by leaving a dish clothe close to it.  The car accident was totally her fault.

In other news, Kevin's house is, as Toby says, huge. Since Kevin tends to spend money like it's water, does this indicate he still has a successful career?

Edited April 3, 2019 by kili

[ItCouldBeWorse]

1 hour ago, Katy M said:

Annie's the only one they really have to worry about. Philly has public transportation, so if the big question was what about Deja and Tess'a after-school acitvities, that has now been solved.  Plus, if Beth is going to own her own studio, she can set the times where she has class.

And Annie could come to the studio after school to do her homework, if necessary.  Owning your own business gives a parent a lot of flexibility with the kids after school and on vacations. 

[Jillybean]

3 hours ago, ProudMary said:

This will be an unpopular opinion but I think that the camera's focus on Beth's rings may very well be the ultimate TIU misdirect. From the way Randall and Beth greeted each other I got the distinct impression that they were no longer together as a couple. We may have seen rings on her left hand but their body language and verbal intonations indicated just the opposite to me. I think Beth is married to someone else.

You might not think this if you followed Sterling K. Brown on Facebook. Also, I'm pretty sure they called one another "Baby" in that scene.

Edited April 3, 2019 by Jillybean

[ShadowFacts]

11 minutes ago, HappyHanna said:

I am sure that this has been brought up somewhere in this board, but, I didn't see it in this thread. With all R&B's talk about needing to cut back, downsize, etc because they only have Randall's city council salary (and whatever Beth is making on dance teaching, which I imagine isn't much) to live on, I imagined that city council was a part time, barely paid job.  I googled. https://data.phila.gov/visualizations/employee-salaries Base salary for a Philadelphia City Council member is $130,000.  I am sure that is a huge cut from whatever Randall was making in his previous job, but it isn't exactly poverty wage.  Or anything close to it.  

Of all the unrealities of this show, I don't know why this is the one that bothers me. 

Yes we did talk about it a few episodes ago. The salary is nothing to sneeze at, they can definitely live well enough, but it's also not a very sure thing. He can be out of a job fairly quickly with the next election. Then again, he might be governor by the time the series ends. Randall is a go-getter after all.

[MsJamieDornan]

18 hours ago, DakotaLavender said:

When I saw Rebecca in that bed at the end it reminded me of the finale of SIX FEET UNDER when we saw Claire on her death bed. 

Exactly !!!

[Lady Calypso]

14 minutes ago, memememe76 said:

 But if families are moving to a new state, the other circumstances will likely change too--a new school, new jobs, and not living near other family members (maybe not that last one, you can move to a new state closer to family--and, I guess, technically, they are closer now to Rebecca, Kate, et al, heh). 

As a West Coaster, I guess I don't see the problem. Is Philly and that suburb in NJ really that far away? Distance wise, moving from, say, Sacramento to San Diego has to be longer, right? Would having the move be within the same state really be that helpful for the kids? 

True. I just realized how dumb I sounded in wording that. I guess I mean not just new jobs, but entirely new career paths. It would be different if Randall had more experience as a politician. Yes, he's gotten a taste of it in the last few months but once he starts going to even more political events and meeting with different people, and once Beth starts figuring out how to open her own dance studio, it's going to take a really big toll. Bigger than if Beth was just getting a new job as an urban planner or if Randall's new job was still in a field that he was more familiar with. 

Again, it's possible, but it's just more difficult than if it was just one thing. It had to be done once Randall ran for office, but it's going to be a lot on the entire family, but mostly for the kids. 

Philly and Alpine, where they lived, is about a two hour drive from each other. Though, question for actual Americans: is moving to an entirely different state different than moving to a different city within your state? 

[NutMeg]

8 hours ago, Phoebe70 said:

Anyone else rolling their eyes at Deja’s speech?  Teens don’t talk that way. I have yet to hear a teenager use the word “stipend” in conversation. 🙄

I loved it because it was giving Randall a taste of his very own medicine.

8 hours ago, kili said:

I suspect future Rebecca is blind and that is why Randall announced himself. They didn't give us Kevin's son's name and they like recycling names, so maybe he is Randall too and that is why Randall had to clarify (kidding - they didn't give Kevin a name so they could refer to him as Kevin's son....I thought he might be Jack as first). I don't think the toys they are bringing are for stroke victim Rebecca to recover. That would probably be things like lego blocks and clothespins to work on her fine motor skills. I thought maybe a birthday party for one of the next generation kids, but it's nighttime and mostly adults. Maybe it's the big three birthday party (probably the last one for their Mom), so they are doing one of their traditional birthday parties (before they started having separate parties) to celebrate with Mom.

The corn sandwiches were bad writing. Pilgrim Jack came up with a better meal when he was lost in the middle of nowhere, there were no open stores and they had to cook it on the room heater. Dude even managed to get think of Pizza when he was spiralling out after abandoning his brother.

I also thought future Rebecca was blind, if Alzheimer is out. Now, Randall needed to get into a huge speech instead of just saying his name, because that's what he does.

6 hours ago, sara416 said:

I am so, so glad that they had Zoe leave Kevin and not give in to wanting kids. As someone who is also child free by choice, I hate the "you would be such a good mom" speech. I interact with kids every day (I'm a therapist for children and adolescents) and I treat them with kindness, respect, and try and instill a little bit of fun and happiness in their life. I have nieces and nephews that I adore and love spending time with. That does not mean I want to or need to be a mom. Not wanting to have children of your own so often on TV means you have to hate kids or be completely incompetent on how to interact with them. In real life, this is not the case. I wanted to throw my phone at the TV when Kevin was saying how great Zoe was with the girls and how he thinks she would be a great mom. And I'm glad she didn't change her mind.  

That reminds of a very good friend of mine, who never seemed like she wanted kids but was surprisingly super involved in her partner's kids life. One day, as I was wishing her a happy birthday, she sent a reply that seemed off, so we got talking, and it came out that she would have liked to have kids but coudn't. I still beat myself up on being so blind to that, even though she gave no hints, I should not have assumed.

(Wasn't there a tread during season 1 where we could talk of things in our life that were triggered by the episode but not about the episode? It may be for another show but I remember it as being super interesting anyway.)

[Violetgoblin6]

16 hours ago, qtpye said:

The good- Kate finally showed some character growth in admitting their relationship issues stem from her own insecurities and the fact that Rebecca can be a little clueless.

Kevin has s gorgeous house and the child he has always wanted.

Zoe did not let a Pearson bully her into changing her mind about kids. Will be sorry to see that actress go, she was very pretty.

Bad- Stupid dumbfuck St. Jack Pearson could not even take care of his kids for one damn night? Hey asshole, did you ever think that your wife could use the rest to recover from her injuries? Of course not, because in this family the Pearsons always get their way and spouses  better get with the program.  He probably walked into the room, made a speech about how she is the engine in their family, and then told her to make them dinner in the hospital cafeteria.

Of course Randall would never have to give up his dream...he is a Pearson.

So, handing the girls off to a competent babysitter for a couple of hours was not acceptable unless she had several PhDs in psychology and education but uprooting Annie and Tessa from the only home they have known is cool? Also, it seems like they might be going from an affluent area to a not so great location. Will they now live in William’s old apartment building? 

No, I was dreading a Gift of the Magi moment.

Hmmm, it looked to me like a typical Philadelphia brick row home. Very common here. I can't see them living in north Philadelphia though, rough area. Perhaps west Philadelphia (University City?), South? Fishtown or Northern Liberties. 

[CarpeFelis]

26 minutes ago, Lady Calypso said:

question for actual Americans: is moving to an entirely different state different than moving to a different city within your state? 

Probably not terribly different in the day-to-day stuff. The main differences are things like having to get a new driver’s license in the new state, which may or may not require a road test; new state may or may not have a state income tax; new state may or may not have sales tax; various state laws may be different. Climate could be different but that can happen within the same state, too.

Edited April 3, 2019 by CarpeFelis
typo

[nlkm9]

6 hours ago, Blakeston said:

I know a lot of people who are angry that Randall "won." But if Randall won, then Beth won even more than he did.

Beth got what she wanted, and then some. She isn't just teaching a few dance classes anymore. They're selling their house and moving into a smaller place so that she can buy a studio - which is going "all in" on her dream just as much as they've ever done with any of Randall's dreams.

Randall quitting his job would have screwed over his constituents, and set a terrible example for the girls.

EXACTLY. Beth got even more than she wanted and the kids are the BIG losers. I hope the kids get through this, I really dont care about r&B anymore. Beth is manipulative and selfish but she is very smart and she gets everything with this decision, but I have to say it is a good solution except the kids will suffer.

[Trillian]

38 minutes ago, JKL845 said:

I don't know, sounds condescending to me. As does your story. Maybe it's the JUST. You can't know everyone's background or presume to. Maybe some of those people wanted to be challenged. Would have sounded better for Beth and your story if they were told something like "don't worry, I know you can handle this".

In my prof’s defence, I am repeating a line I heard second-hand about 35 years ago, so the “just”might not have been in there. But I think the point is a fair one - that these are statements of facts - and the rudeness or condescension depends on the context. A PhD candidate in 8th century Germany is going to know more about 12the century France than the average undergrad - enough to cover one class anyway, and it’s fine unless she lets on to the students that she doesn’t feel qualified. And so what if the dance instructors gossip among themselves that the Sunday morning housewives aren’t serious students of dance - as long as they don’t walk into the class and treat them poorly, why does it matter what they were thinking? 

Its the same way I feel about Beth’s weird ass cheesecake comment.  She was obviously gracious enough about it that her hostess gave her some to  take home. If she and Randall hadn’t been been fighting, they might’ve giggled together about how strange it was. It would have been rude to say it or intimate it to the hostess, but (I don’t think) true statements  made privately to trusted confidantes qualify as rude per se.  That’s just life. 

[nlkm9]

3 hours ago, icemiser69 said:

And of course, Beth makes that impulsive decision affecting the entire family, not even considering how it affects the children.  But hell, since when did either of these two assholes put their children first.

she didnt even blink an eye accepting a Sunday job--I only have 1 kid and always ask hubby if my plans change and im not going to be around.

[Quickbeam]

Good episode overall. I cringed at the Kevin Zoe scene where he was trying to feel her out on parenthood. I was so glad she left. As a child free woman who is now in my 60s, the “you’ll love them when they are yours” trope is just painful to see played out on the screen. I was so afraid they would have her yield. Nice job, I hope it holds. 

[ams1001]

3 hours ago, GodsBeloved said:

Randall said "Hey baby" and they kissed on the lips so I doubt Beth is married to someone else.

Yeah, I got the impression they were just sad because of the situation they were there for.

[DNR]

7 hours ago, TwoGrayTabbies said:

Do the writers have any conception of how hard it is to start a business?  Opening a dance studio would be a huge challenge.  It will require a properly equipped building rental/purchase and qualified instructors.  It’s a non-essential service probably already has a supply to meet the demand.  Not to mention that Beth is out of practice and this is a new city where she hasn’t built up a network.  Wouldn’t it make more sense for Beth to get an urban planning job and teach dance as a side hustle/hobby?

Where i live in the ‘burbs of NY, there is a Dance school & nail salon everywhere you turn !  Fine time to chase your dream Beth

[GodsBeloved]

1 hour ago, ShadowFacts said:

Yes we did talk about it a few episodes ago. The salary is nothing to sneeze at, they can definitely live well enough, but it's also not a very sure thing. He can be out of a job fairly quickly with the next election. Then again, he might be governor by the time the series ends. Randall is a go-getter after all.

Who are you kidding? Randall will be president!

[JudyObscure]

1 hour ago, kili said:

That's not on Rebecca. Jack was the one that did that. He offered to clean up and not only left the crock pot plugged in, but added fuel to the fire by leaving a dish cloth

Oh  yes, Jack was the one who was last in the kitchen. What I'm saying is that before she went up to bed, leaving Jack to clean up, Rebecca should have taken a second to unplug the pot,  because she was the one used to using it and the one who knew it had a tricky switch.  Not saying either one was to blame for the fire, but that she shares some responsibility and yet never seemed to have recognized that.  Just as she failed to tell Kate that she was sorry for upsetting Kate at the hospital, even after Kate apologized to her. 

Did Rebecca ever admit that going on a singing tour with her old lover might present a problem?  I'll agree that Rebecca never intends any harm, but she's always so lost in her own little world she never seems to be looking at anything from anyone else's point of view.  Case in point -- never a word in defense of her second husband. 

[kili]

36 minutes ago, JudyObscure said:

 Just as [Rebecca] failed to tell Kate that she was sorry for upsetting Kate at the hospital, even after Kate apologized to her. 

General Days posted the transcript of the conversation. Rebecca apologized before Kate (Kate never officially apologizes, she explains her reaction and apologizes for future actions):

REBECCA: I'm sorry if I uh overstepped. (She pauses, before adding...) Or if the idea of us moving out here makes you feel--

[Violetgoblin6]

13 hours ago, Dejana said:

Corn sandwiches? Come on, writers, Jack would have just picked up fast food or takeout. The kids were acting half their age, like 5-6 year olds rather tweens. Are we going to see that generation of Pearson kids again? Young Kate is looking taller than Teen Kate. Kevin's future son looked like the young Kevin actor, but maybe smaller IIRC? So, possibly a real-life sibling.

Annie was not impressed with the new house, judging by her look at that listing! But Randall and Beth should have considered downsizing months ago, and a move to Philadelphia when he bought the building, let alone ran for city council (I still don't understand how that worked when he lived another state at the time, but I guess it's not a problem now) and Beth lost her job.

Not really a surprise everyone is gathering around Rebecca, but a shock to see Nicky! Miguel is probably dead in the future, but if she ends up moving on with Jack's brother.... So, I hope it's just that they are close as in-laws, because otherwise, I need her to branch out instead of falling for someone else Jack-adjacent yet again.

Heh, the nurse totally let Jack by to visit Rebecca's room just so he'd shut up and go away!

Lol, little Annie wrinkled her nose while looking at the Philly house flyer. So adorable. 

[General Days]

1 hour ago, Lady Calypso said:

Philly and Alpine, where they lived, is about a two hour drive from each other. Though, question for actual Americans: is moving to an entirely different state different than moving to a different city within your state? 

1 hour ago, CarpeFelis said:

Probably not terribly different in the day-to-day stuff. The main differences are things like having to get a new driver’s license in the new state, which may or may not require a road test; new state may or may not have a state income tax; new state may or may not have sales tax; various state laws may be different. Climate could be different but that can happen within the same state, too.

Aside from what Carpefelis said, it's not that different if you're moving to the same kind of place (rural, suburban, urban, inland, shore).

I would think for their day-to-day lives, the biggest difference is for the kids in changing schools. If you live in a big enough city, and moved to another part of that city, you could end up in a new school district, anyhow.

They are leaving a small borough for a proper city, so that's a change. They also used to be about 15 miles from NYC, so they might miss the proximity to everything New York had to offer. They're a little further from the shore in the summer. The weather is going to be comparable. 

1 hour ago, Violetgoblin6 said:

Hmmm, it looked to me like a typical Philadelphia brick row home. Very common here. I can't see them living in north Philadelphia though, rough area. Perhaps west Philadelphia (University City?), South? Fishtown or Northern Liberties. 

Do you know what Randall's district is? I'm just wondering if they'll move into it (particularly if they have to sell William's old building to fund Beth's new business).

[Violetgoblin6]

12 hours ago, PRgal said:

Toby and Kate could have moved to the east coast, OR, it’s possible Jack is attending boarding school in the east.  Kate may have gone to pick him up from school see his grandmother.  Who knows?  

Yeah. I'm trying to figure out what brought Toby, Kevin, Rebecca to the east coast. As I stated earlier today that Isaac the show runner said Kevin lives near Beth's studio. However, as someone recalled (thank you) Tess's workplace said Sussex County NJ. Hmmm. So, did they move back?? Did Tess go to college in north Jersey? Are Kate (?) and Jack driving from the airport? A home on the east coast? Reading way too much into this, sigh. 

[Neurochick]

22 hours ago, PepSinger said:

I thought this episode was excellent. Perhaps I’m alone in that. This was show I remembered in season one.

Something doesn’t have to be surprising for it to be good.

I agree.  It reminded me of season 1.

Interesting:  Future scene, Randall says to Toby, "I'm glad you decided to come."  Implying that he and Kate had split up, or maybe Kate isn't around anymore.

Nicky and Rebecca?  That was a shock.   I didn't expect to see Nicky there, I'd forgotten about him.  

[Violetgoblin6]

55 minutes ago, General Days said:

Do you know what Randall's district is? I'm just wondering if they'll move into it (particularly if they have to sell William's old building to fund Beth's new business).

I believe the recreation center had a sign on it: North Philadelphia Rec Center. 

[Empress1]

1 hour ago, General Days said:

Do you know what Randall's district is? I'm just wondering if they'll move into it (particularly if they have to sell William's old building to fund Beth's new business).

IIRC it's north Philly. Blighted area, very under-resourced schools. It's the kind of neighborhood where people would see Randall and his $140K Mercedes (though if they're scaling back, he should trade it in for something cheaper anyway) and be like "You're moving TO north Philly?"

2 hours ago, Violetgoblin6 said:

Hmmm, it looked to me like a typical Philadelphia brick row home. Very common here. I can't see them living in north Philadelphia though, rough area. Perhaps west Philadelphia (University City?), South? Fishtown or Northern Liberties. 

I could see them in West Philly if they don't have to live in north. The universities there give it a kind of intellectual bohemian vibe that would suit them and there are some really beautiful old homes there. I couldn't see them in Fishtown just because of the demographics; Philly is very racially segregated and while Fishtown has changed economically, racially it's still less than 10% Black. It's long been a working-class white neighborhood. When I was growing up (old end of the millennial generation, so not THAT long ago, heh), I was warned against being there because it wasn't safe for people who looked like me. I could also see them in gentrifying Graduate Hospital (south Philly, renamed because: gentrification), although that house in the flyer looked more West Philly to me. Mount Airy or Germantown could be good fits too.

They lived in the Alpine house for what, ten or 12 years? The equity they have in that house (five-star zip code, fixed up/well-maintained) would be enough for them to pay cash for a house in Philly the size of the one in the flyer no matter what neighborhood it's in, with money left over. 

Edited April 4, 2019 by Empress1

[Jax7917]

18 hours ago, MrsWitter said:

I know they said this show will end with season six, but have they ruled out a spin-off? This Is Us: The Next Generation or This is Us: Heaven, where even God is super impressed with Pearson speeches! Can you imagine how insufferable they would be in the afterlife?

When I saw Rebecca bend over to pick up the fruit, I kept thinking of poor Mitch Leery dying in an accident because he tried to salvage his scoop of ice cream (still one of the stupidest character deaths, IMO):

That scene cracks me up every time even though that clearly wasn’t the intention and I thought the same exact thing when Rebecca was picking up the fruit lol . 

[preeya]

WTF is a corn sandwich? I've heard of ketchup sandwiches, but corn.

What about PB&J?

[Quickbeam]

I did love kid Kevin flirting with the nurse. So funny. I’m not big on kid actors but every one in this show is brilliant.

[athousandclowns]

14 hours ago, Maximona said:

It does for kids who are in or entering high school. And have a strong set of friends.

Actually, you know, in my experience as an RN, the patients who do the best are almost always the ones that have a support team that are taking notes and asking questions for them.  When a medical catastrophe takes place, it is generally so overwhelming on a personal level that it is extremely hard for the person most directly involved to focus on what's being said to them by healthcare providers.  At my hospital, teaching like, This is what apnea means; this is what bradycardia means, is typically done by the primary nurse who doesn't have another bedside to scurry off to.  So questions like Rebecca's are welcomed and answered.

Thanks for saying that because I didn’t think there was anything wrong with note taking.  I had  death/ and premature babies and thank goodness I had my mother who was an RN that I could rely on.   In stressful medical situations it’s good to have someone else take in the information because well , it stressful.  Most lay people would listen to what the nurse was telling them and it might as well be Russian the first time.   When I had children no one was allowed in the nursery , visitors  looked through a window.  That baby looked too little to be going home then be exposed to everyone? See, I'm  neurotic. 

I think it’s Kate Jack is coming with. No necessarily driving.  I also feel very strongly that the sidewalk chalk and board game were not for Rebecca. I kinda lean to the concept that another poster suggested a end of life situation  

A poster mentioned they liked the scenes between Kevin and Nikki, I rewatched and only saw the one scene where Nikki just turned and acknowledged Russell.  Was there previous scenes in earlier shows? 

So everyone but Kevin and Beth aged. 

I loved Kevin’s house

[happykitteh]

12 hours ago, TwoGrayTabbies said:

 Not to mention that Beth is out of practice 

I wondered about this too. The impression I had was after Beth's mom "crushed her dream" Beth gave up ballet. We're supposed to believe that after 20+ years she still has the strength and flexibility skill set necessary to teach others? Seems to me she'd more likely be one of the students than one of the teachers, who I presume have continued with ballet on a daily basis all their adult lives.

[Violetgoblin6]

15 hours ago, Blakeston said:

Last season, when they revealed that we were seeing flash-forwards, didn't we get official confirmation from one of the producers or writers that the flash-forwards were only 12 years in the future - which would mean 11 years from now?

(I hope that isn't considered a comment about a future plot point, because that was just a comment from the production explaining what we'd already seen.)

I remember being shocked that the scenes were only 12 years in the future, because a) Randall looked much older than his late 40s, and b) Tess would be awfully young to be placing a boy in a foster home. 

But I'm fairly sure that's what I read. Does anyone else remember this?

I remember on Reddit (or maybe here??) 13 years. I read it March of last year, after the season two finale. So now I guess it's 12. However Mandy gave an interview and said Rebecca is 83 in the bed. She was born in 1950 so she would be 68 or 69 now. 

[MsJamieDornan]

I'm just going to throw a few ideas out.  Maybe Kevin has stayed in touch with Nicky over the years. And, if Rebecca has dementia, maybe when she sees Nicky she thinks it's Jack? So, they calm her down by having Nicky sit with her.

And maybe Rebecca isnt even sick and this has nothing to do with her ?