S07.E10: So Vain in Solvang

[OnceSane]

Quote

Lala takes her friends to Solvang, Calif., on a private jet; Jax looks forward to a guys' night out with Tom Sandoval and Tom Schwartz; Brittany brings Jax to therapy to deal with his infidelities; James has a fight with his mother over money.

Airs February 11, 2019.

[hoodooznoodooz]

What private jet?

[Sun-Bun]

1 hour ago, hoodooznoodooz said:

What private jet?

Myman’s private jet, of course! What, you didn’t realize that according to LaLa, every truly pretty girl in Hollywood has partied in a private jet? Makes it all that much classier to talk all the time about riding private jets. LaLa may not consider herself basic, but she is definitely bougie.

[biakbiak]

On 2/9/2019 at 9:07 PM, Sun-Bun said:

Myman’s private jet

I doubt he has a personal private jet he uses a charter service.

[nexxie]

Wow, Lala and Herman stopped drinking - hearing the story, seems like a good move.

[whydoievencare]

I see that James named Tuesday nights after his mother.  What a POS she is - she doesn't talk about his feelings - only about what she gave him - great vacations, Ralph Lauren, his first steps were at Tiffany's.  There doesn't seem to be anything redeemable about her - she's just a pit bull with no actual ability to look at her behaviour and how it affects others.  James has lots of issues - but I feel for him when I see the family dynamics.  It's a really good thing that he's going to therapy.  His mother could use it too - she's vile.

Edited February 12, 2019 by whydoievencare

[Emmeline]

Wow, James mother is something.  She goes to talk to Lisa asking for James job back so he can send her $200 every three days.  His mom doesn’t seem that old, does she work?  James should be building his own life, not paying for hers.  If he’s doing this now, when will it stop?  “He took his first steps in Tiffany”, oh Lord.

Edited February 12, 2019 by Emmeline

[nexxie]

16 minutes ago, whydoievencare said:

I see that James named Tuesday nights after his mother.  What a POS she is - she doesn't talk about his feelings - only about what she gave him - great vacations, Ralph Lauren, his first steps were at Tiffany's.  There doesn't seem to be anything redeemable about her - she's just a pit bull with no actual ability to look at her behaviour and how it affects others.  James has lots of issues - but I feel for him when I see the family dynamics.  It's a really good thing that he's going to therapy.  His mother could use it too - she's vile.

She is so toxic any boundaries he sets might not work - poor James. (Did I just say that?!)

[whydoievencare]

1 minute ago, nexxie said:

She is so toxic any boundaries he sets might not work - poor James. (Did I just say that?!)

You did just say that!  I have to agree with you.  Poor James.

[esco1822]

3 minutes ago, nexxie said:

She is so toxic any boundaries he sets might not work - poor James. (Did I just say that?!)

The woman is clearly a user. You can tell LVP is over it too.  James’s mom says I love you and LVP sits in awkward silence. Have to wonder if she’s drinking again or if she might be bipolar. 

[Wicked]

Yes, I feel bad that James has the mother he has, but also YES, James needs to stop being a shitty person because of it.

[ghoulina]

James's mom can straight fuck off. Forget boundaries, get a restraining order. She is just an awful person. 

Look at how quickly she sent another kid to LVP for a job when James started asking for receipts. She's pure filth. 

Oh, and Jacqueline - Ralph Lauren and Burberry do not a good mother make. 

Guillermo is a dick. It's not that I'm overly concerned with James's feelings; but that was Henry's interview. It was so rude to use it to make digs at his brother. 

I get that it's unpleasant to talk about negative things when you're in a good place. But Jax wants to just act like the past never happened. And I guarantee, as happy as she acts, Brittany still feels like it happened yesterday. I hope they continue therapy. 

Crazy Kristen! I am here for it. The people of Solvang will have so many stories to tell. 

Not surprised she and Carter are fighting a lot. He looked thoroughly uninterested in her last week. 

You'd think the novelty of a private jet would have worn off by now. 

Ariana sings too??? Please make it stop.

[nexxie]

8 minutes ago, Wicked said:

Yes, I feel bad that James has the mother he has, but also YES, James needs to stop being a shitty person because of it.

True, but it won’t be easy and he’ll need to stay off alcohol and learn new ways of coping - hope he keeps going to therapy.

[chenoa333]

Why is Bravo subjecting us to James' mom? Are they that desperate for new players? Not only do I dislike James, they're adding James' really fugly brother to the show. As someone in my workplace said to me one day: "it just don't make no kind a goddamn sense".

And why does LVP always have so many job openings at her restaurants that she can hire so many losers, fools and alcoholics? If I lived closer to L.A. I'd apply for a job with her! 

[Wicked]

Just now, nexxie said:

True, but it won’t be easy and he’ll need to stay off alcohol and learn new ways of coping - hope he keeps going to therapy.

I think James is legitimately a talented, smart, funny guy.  But he is also definitely damaged by his parents and he lashes out and hurts people because of it.  I really do hope he can get that under control because he does have a lot of potential. He needs to take responsibility for the mean and nasty things he has said and done.  Guy has some serious penance he needs to do.

[nexxie]

2 minutes ago, chenoa333 said:

Why is Bravo subjecting us to James' mom? Are they that desperate for new players? Not only do I dislike James, they're adding James' really fugly brother to the show. As someone in my workplace said to me one day: "it just don't make no kind a goddamn sense".

And why does LVP always have so many job openings at her restaurants that she can hire so many losers, fools and alcoholics? If I lived closer to L.A. I'd apply for a job with her! 

Lisa probably has her on just so she gets a paycheck - same with the brother.

[Pop Tart]

5 minutes ago, ghoulina said:

Guillermo is a dick. It's not that I'm overly concerned with James's feelings; but that was Henry's interview. It was so rude to use it to make digs at his brother. 

I thought that was all setup to prove how important James’s dj’ing is (like they’re going to go under without him) and was meant to once again make James the oh so talented underdog. The producers are working overtime on the James reclamation story. Bringing his mother on to show how sad James is and now a brother and a chorus of oh the tragedy of losing his dj skills.

[dosodog]

I think?  I've finally met a member of the Kennedy clan that I like.  The brother seemed calm and dare I say, decent.

Kristen is lucky anyone is willing to go places with her.  I do not understand her.  Private jet.  Free accommodations. Friends. Get it together!  The best version of Dosodog is Vacation Dosodog.  Vacation Dosodog would not be mean like Stassi.  I'd just roll on and ignore you.

[FlyingEgret]

Did I mishear or was Raquel actually taking his mom's side during that discussion/guilt trip?

[Guest]

All I could think about the trip to Solvang is that HerMan must have put Lala on a tiny budget for the private jet. Why else would she show off by arranging a girls trip to ye olde Western European tourist trap city (that exists everywhere) when she has agreed not to drink because she is on probation for getting naked and breaking hurricane proof glass?

[Lady of nod]

15 minutes ago, Emmeline said:

Wow, James mother is something.  She goes to talk to Lisa asking for James job back so he can send her $200 every three days.  His mom doesn’t seem that old, does she work?  James should be building his own life, not paying for hers.  If he’s doing this now, when will it stop?  “He took his first steps in Tiffany”, oh Lord.

Oh lord is right. So let me get this right. They used to have. $$$ but they blew through it all on Ralph Lauren and Tiffanys, so now they're broke and neither one of them works so it's James job to not only support Mom and family, but also take her abuse.  No wonder James is such a mess. I do believe there are some drugs involved here.  She's way off. And the way she stormed into Sur. Like she's some kind of entitled woman that doesn't have to work but expects every one else to feel sorry and take care of her. Get a job bitch. She reads like an evil mother from a bad lifetime movie.

[chenoa333]

7 minutes ago, ParadoxLost said:

All I could think about the trip to Solvang is that HerMan must have put Lala on a tiny budget for the private jet. Why else would she show off by arranging a girls trip to ye olde Western European tourist trap city (that exists everywhere) when she has agreed not to drink because she is on probation for getting naked and breaking hurricane proof glass?

That "PJ" didn't look very luxurious. Not that I know jack shit about private jets but I've seen photos! Lol. And Solvang does not scream bouigois. But I've never been there.  

[Lady of nod]

22 minutes ago, chenoa333 said:

Why is Bravo subjecting us to James' mom? Are they that desperate for new players? Not only do I dislike James, they're adding James' really fugly brother to the show. As someone in my workplace said to me one day: "it just don't make no kind a goddamn sense".

And why does LVP always have so many job openings at her restaurants that she can hire so many losers, fools and alcoholics? If I lived closer to L.A. I'd apply for a job with her! 

I think she must have  bullied someone to get a few scenes in cause she needs the paycheck. And I don't like to call people out on their looks, but maybe some of that money they spent at Tidfany's should have gone to an orthodontist.

[ninjago]

Why does anyone still hang out with Kristin?  OMG.

[bosawks]

1 hour ago, ghoulina said:

Ariana sings too??? Please make it stop.

I wonder if anyone takes singing as seriously as Ariana does?

[njbchlover]

36 minutes ago, chenoa333 said:

That "PJ" didn't look very luxurious. Not that I know jack shit about private jets but I've seen photos! Lol. And Solvang does not scream bouigois. But I've never been there.  

That PJ didn't really impress me, either.  It looked like a very small interior and the seats looked really tight - smaller than an actual public plane is these days.  I remember when Mauricio arranged for a private jet for the Beverly Hills housewives, and it was super nice.  Also, didn't Yolanda and David have a private jet?  I remember something there, too - and that one was gorgeous (I think she had it refurbished as a b'day gift, or something??)  

But, these girls were enjoying it, and I hope that they all thanked LaLa for being such a good bed-mate that Randall would do this for her and her friends.  

I did love Stassi's comment about having to stand on a sidewalk waiting for Kristen longer than she was on the PJ - that cracked me up!  

[ivygirl]

38 minutes ago, chenoa333 said:

That "PJ" didn't look very luxurious. Not that I know jack shit about private jets but I've seen photos! Lol. And Solvang does not scream bouigois. But I've never been there.  

I’m totally at a loss. I’ve never been on a PJ but I *have* been to Solvang numerous times. It is 100% not bougie. It’s also about a 45-minute drive from Santa Barbara, which is (in many ways) bougie. AND there’s an airport there, too. 

Great cherry danish, though!

[hoodooznoodooz]

Geez. In one of the selfies, Lala is wearing a Compton baseball cap. 

[mbaywife123]

Good grief, James mom is such a piece of shite. Leave her ass at the curb where she belongs. Total "victim" and user, she now hits LVP up for a job for her next son because James no longer has his $ coming in from his dj job. Get yourself a JOB bitch! You should be taking care of yourself and your now adult spawn on your own regardless of what your ex husband and their father are paying for or not. If you didn't save any money to pay your bills post divorce that all on you. 

[HunterHunted]

If you'd ever wondered what it would look like if Kristen married someone who was fame adjacent like MyMan or Rob and popped out 3 kids, the answer is Jacqueline Georgiou. If you'd ever wondered what Kandi's Mama Joyce would look like if she was a skinny white lady, the answer is also Jacqueline Georgiou. She is an awful user and completely entitled. When she first showed up in season 4 or 5, even Kristen recognized how destructive and toxic the woman was.

Kristen might be a nightmare to travel with, but Lala's example of Kristen in Mexico was NOT a decent example. Kristen flipped out because Jax, Sandoval, and Schwartz kept insisting that James told them that he had slept with her. When the episode actually aired, she apologized to James. However, Kristen at the wineries was absolutely evidence that one should never go anywhere with Doute when alcohol is being served.

Brittany Gump wants to spend $14K on an engagement party? It's not even a wedding. This is a freaking engagement party. And she wants it at the Inn of the Seventh Ray, which sounds like a cult, because she was obsessed with fairies. I was going to make a joke about her homophobic pastor. Anyway, she got this location suggestion from Katie?!?! No one in their right mind would EVER use Katie as an expert on anything having to do with aesthetics. Brittany has clearly seen how Katie dresses. While Brittany wasn't part of the cast during Scheana's wedding, Scheana's wedding looked so much better than Katie's. They definitely spent different amounts. Scheana spent a little over $90K. Katie spent $55K. However, Scheana's looked comparable to Pandora's, which LVP spent nearly a million dollars on.

If Brittany had ANY insight, she'd realize that Jaaaaaaaaaaaaaaax' refusal to explore the issues that led to him cheating is a huge warning sign.

Katie thought Lala was a rachet golddigger until Lala did something that benefited Katie. You are truly a beacon of ethics and sticking to your personal code. I don't know that there is any way to make that sound any less self-centered.

Ariana, Sandoval, and Scheana need to form a completely talentless musical trio. I always find it funny that Katie moved to LA to get involved in the music industry because she was sooooooooooooooo passionate about music. However, we've never seen her even feign interest in music for the 7 seasons of this show.

[mbaywife123]

Solvang is fun!

Grab several buckets of cookies at the Solvang Bakery.

The Ace Hardware store is awesome with Christmas decor during the holidays, and has lots of cool stuff at other times of the year.

Eat some abelskeevers (danish doughnuts/pancakes) at several of the restaurants. YUM.

Too bad that Manny's (best Mexican restaurant) is long gone.

AJ Spurs was still good years back before Sideways but haven't been there in years, same for the Hitching Post.

I wonder if the Ostrich farm is still there as well as the mini horse farms on the back road to Los Olivos.

Total tourist town, but fun for a weekend.

[hoodooznoodooz]

“We on the PJ, bitches, and none of us paid for it!”

Um, yeah, ya did. 

[Petunia13]

Great People in Aviation:

The Wright Brothers

Charles Lindbergh

Amelia Earhart

MyMan and LaLa

[FrankieTankie]

Those Kennedy’s and their teeth ..... They’re a dentist dream 

[angelamh66]

James’s mom really seems like she is trying to make herself “happen”. God forbid she end up on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills when Lisa needs to add a sycophant to make up for the fact that the rest of the cast is done with her. 

[bichonblitz]

17 minutes ago, mbaywife123 said:

Solvang is fun!

Grab several buckets of cookies at the Solvang Bakery.

The Ace Hardware store is awesome with Christmas decor during the holidays, and has lots of cool stuff at other times of the year.

Eat some abelskeevers (danish doughnuts/pancakes) at several of the restaurants. YUM.

Too bad that Manny's (best Mexican restaurant) is long gone.

AJ Spurs was still good years back before Sideways but haven't been there in years, same for the Hitching Post.

I wonder if the Ostrich farm is still there as well as the mini horse farms on the back road to Los Olivos.

Fun for normal people. Not the witches of WeHo. Getting piss drunk on a Mexican beach is more their style. 

And what in the what were the witches wearing? Looked like Lala had on a satin bathrobe and sneakers walking the streets of the little Dutch wannabe village. Along with Ariana and her over the knee black boots and white pants. I can't even describe what the other fashionista's had on. Stass was the only one dressed semi-normally. 

Carter has one foot out the door. Kristin is another example (just like James) that should not drink. Ever. 

[mbaywife123]

And what the fresh hell was with the eating of the fresh lavender street bush when it was really a mini agapanthus bush?

[Bluedog100]

2 hours ago, esco1822 said:

The woman is clearly a user. You can tell LVP is over it too.  James’s mom says I love you and LVP sits in awkward silence. Have to wonder if she’s drinking again or if she might be bipolar. 

Wasn't she drinking a beer out of a glass at James'?

[HunterHunted]

12 minutes ago, bichonblitz said:

Carter has one foot out the door. 

I wonder who Kristen's next guy will be? Kristen has mostly been involved with guys who have or will be involved with the group somehow. Sandoval is with Ariana. Jax was with Rachael O'Brien (friends with Stassi, Kristen, and Katie), Stassi, Carmen (friends with the WeHo witches), Faith, and Brittany. James has slept with Hope (Kristen's friend), Lala, Lauren, GG, and Ellie; the latter 4 worked at SUR. And Carter used to be Katie's fuck buddy back in the day. There was also that douchey friend of Jax' who came to visit Jax for a couple of days. After sleeping with Kristen, he moved in with her for about a month. Kristen kicked him out when she found out he had a girlfriend. She also dated Aleks from season 1 Below Deck for a little bit.

Though he's dated both Stassi and Katie, I doubt Peter would come anywhere near Kristen. But Rob might.

[biakbiak]

I realize that event spaces can be transformed by lighting and being fully decked out with linens and things but that place they looked at looked cheap and tacky.

Jax: i am making better choices. Him in that therapy session illustrated he hasn’t really changed that much. He is so manipulative. Saying “I’m not mad, I just don’t understand,” while seething on the couch is so classic Jax.

Ariana sings like Tom plays the trumpet.

[mbaywife123]

10 minutes ago, HunterHunted said:

I wonder who Kristen's next guy will be? Kristen has mostly been involved with guys who have or will be involved with the group somehow. Sandoval is with Ariana. Jax was with Rachael O'Brien (friends with Stassi, Kristen, and Katie), Stassi, Carmen (friends with the WeHo witches), Faith, and Brittany. James has slept with Hope (Kristen's friend), Lala, Lauren, GG, and Ellie; the latter 4 worked at SUR. And Carter used to be Katie's fuck buddy back in the day. There was also that douchey friend of Jax' who came to visit Jax for a couple of days. After sleeping with Kristen, he moved in with her for about a month. Kristen kicked him out when she found out he had a girlfriend. She also dated Aleks from season 1 Below Deck for a little bit.

Though he's dated both Stassi and Katie, I doubt Peter would come anywhere near Kristen. But Rob might.

Kristin is what we used to call a "slosh" bucket back in the 80's.

[biakbiak]

I am confused about Lisa relationship to James family, I though the reason that Lisa kept giving him second chances was because she was close with his family yet she has never met his younger brother who doesn’t appear that much younger.

[HunterHunted]

10 minutes ago, biakbiak said:

I realize that event spaces can be transformed by lighting and being fully decked out with linens and things but that place they looked at looked cheap and tacky.

I wasn't too impressed by the event space. I thought it looked like a bad fan made recreation of the Shire from Lord of the Rings and the Hobbit.

https://my.matterport.com/show/?m=yU51r3Gh79p

https://www.innoftheseventhray.com/weddings/#weddinginfo

10 minutes ago, biakbiak said:

Ariana sings like Tom plays the trumpet.

Truth!

[rustyspigot]

Quote

I realize that event spaces can be transformed by lighting and being fully decked out with linens and things but that place they looked at looked cheap and tacky.

Perfect for them. And of course Katie suggested it. Speaking of Katie I'm surprised she didn't take her couch on the trip.

Ariana can soon add failed singer to failed stand up comic and failed cocktail cookbook writer. 

[MVFrostsMyPie]

Oh, Solvang. Aka the town my college friends and I would stop at for Danish pancakes the morning after camping at dusty Cachuma Lake. But otherwise boring AF. I went to college in SLO and my sister went to college in SB, so my parents liked stopping in Solvang in between visiting both of us. We went to AJ Spurs so many times and I left my purse there once and it was never found after we went back to get it. Good times! I also hope the ostrich farm is still there. So funny to see it as a "cool" place to fly to on the PJ. I'm surprised it took even 25 minutes to get there.

[SimonSeymour]

Kristen and Ariana are now friends? I was surprised to see Kristen hug and kiss Ariana (before LaLa) at their lunch before the trip. 

[SarahPrtr]

3 hours ago, bosawks said:

I wonder if anyone takes singing as seriously as Ariana does?

As seriously as FI takes his trumpet playing.

[SarahPrtr]

5 hours ago, HunterHunted said:

Ariana, Sandoval, and Scheana need to form a completely talentless musical trio. I always find it funny that Katie moved to LA to get involved in the music industry because she was sooooooooooooooo passionate about music. However, we've never seen her even feign interest in music for the 7 seasons of this show.

Yeah, what happened with that??!!!  I've never once seen Katie sing or play an instrument or do ANYTHING remotely musical.  At least we saw Tom playing with his band, make an ass out of himself with his trumpet, Lala sing, Scheana attempt to sing and even Kristen strummed a few chords on the guitar, but with Katie, there's been absolutely nothing. 

Maybe she talks about it the way that Jax talked about having a sweater line or how a lot of people talk about wanting to be a doctor or a veterinarian just because they think it sounds impressive, even though they don't give a shit about people or animals and never did well at school.

5 hours ago, mbaywife123 said:

AJ Spurs was still good years back before Sideways but haven't been there in years, same for the Hitching Post.

OMG!  Sideways!!!  Seems like so long ago now...

4 hours ago, HunterHunted said:

Jax was with Rachael O'Brien (friends with Stassi, Kristen, and Katie), Stassi, Carmen (friends with the WeHo witches), Faith, and Brittany.

Was Tiffany friends with any of them?  Didn't seem like she met them.  Dodged a bullet there, but still had sex with him, so ewww.  She's also the one who got him a deal with his nose job and booked a boys' trip away to San Diego, and what did Jax do?  Fks some other girl.

4 hours ago, biakbiak said:

Ariana sings like Tom plays the trumpet.

You beat me to it!  I posted mine before I saw yours.  But happy to know that someone else is thinking what I'm thinking, haha!

[psychoticstate]

It's now perfectly clear to me why James drinks.  Poor, poor James.  I haven't agreed with a lot of his past actions but his mom is playing the guilt card to the hilt - - throwing her resentment for his father on him, guilting him (I have your three brothers at home) into sending her money.  How old is James?  25-ish?  That's an awful lot of responsibility to take on at that age, never mind being fired (twice) from SUR.  I hope he continues with the therapy - - and slows down in his car!

James' mom is a pure user.  Case in point:  running to see LVP yet again to beg a job for son #2.   Harry seems like a good kid but Guillermo -- DICK.  How shitty of a person does he have to be to tear James down in front of his brother and in front of Peter?  Unprofessional and absolutely uncalled for.  Fuck you, Guillermo.  My black heart of goo absolutely broke for James.  As he said, this is one of his father figures that is clearly disappointed in him and that's crushing him.   I would like to hear LVP's take on how her business partner conducts his interviews.  And did Harry get a job or what?  Because all I heard were verbal attacks on James.  James continues to be my favorite person on this mess.

And damn you, VR, for making me feel sorry for Scheana.  They put her in her own room, way away from the other WeHo Witches?  It looked like Lala and Brittany were staying in a mini-house.  There wasn't room for 100 pound Scheana in there?  Did Lala bring that many baby bottles?   Are these hos going to do anything in Solvang other than drink?  Jesus, I could practically hear Kristen's liver screaming from my living room. 

As someone who was in Brittany's shoes once, if Jax's cheating has never been fully addressed/dealt with, it WILL come back up.  It's not "in the past" when she's telling him, basically, to be good as she leaves for Solvang.  Yeah, she's smiling and trying to be light about it, but she's deadly serious (and deadly worried.)  I know.  

WTF is wrong with Kristen and her vacation panic?  She's not from LA.  Didn't she have to travel to LA in order to move there?  Why invite her if she's such a pain in the ass?  Why is she always late? (one of my biggest pet peeves)  Has this group not figured out that if you need to be somewhere by noon, you tell her you need to be there by 11 or 11:30?  

The Nugget sings?  Oh, please.  She's about as good as Flat Iron is with his horn.  Is the singing going to be this season's version of "I have bad vagina esteem"?  (Unless, of course, Lala's on it.) 

[Kiki777]

Jacqueline is the trashiest, most horrible person ever on VPR.  That says a lot.  I bet all the $ James sends her goes straight up her nose.  I hope he stays in therapy and eventually cuts her out of his life.  People like her never change.

That was probably the cheapest PJ Randall could buy- I mean, rent.  They were all acting like a bunch of hillbillies over it.

Solvang looks like a cute place to visit!  Especially after reading all your posts about Danish and cookies :-) I don't drink but I'm all about getting my desserts on.