S07.E08: A Housewarming Divided

[OnceSane]

Quote

The group treks to Marina del Rey for Scheana's housewarming; Lala calls out Billie Lee; Tom gossips about Ariana's romantic encounters with women; Lisa Vanderpump finally reveals the fully finished TomTom to a giddy Sandoval and Schwartz.

Airs January 28, 2019.

[LaLaLaLa]

Scheana giving Brittany relationship advice...classic.

[rideashire]

So I hear everyone complaining about how far away Scheana's apartment is and I'm thinking they must be exaggerating so I google the general area and find directions to SUR. How the hell can something 9 miles away take 45 minutes to get to?! 

I'm not even suggesting that 45 minutes is far, it's not. But for 9 miles it's ridiculous. Cali is a whole 'nother world ya'll. 

Meanwhile, her new man saying they need a night apart cracked me up. Poor girl, she's so into him even if she says she's not, and he's just....not. That seems to be the story of her life.

[nexxie]

Why is Scheana so pathetic when it comes to men? God girl, get a grip!

[Wicked]

I experience so much second hand embarrassment when Sheana is on screen. 

[LaLaLaLa]

Scheana and the acting bug and signing back with her old "manager" and wanting to challenge herself???

Manager: "We can definitely get you some work" (that will involve nudity and lots of dudes because that's all that we can get for your level of talent).

4 minutes ago, rideashire said:

So I hear everyone complaining about how far away Scheana's apartment is and I'm thinking they must be exaggerating so I google the general area and find directions to SUR. How the hell can something 9 miles away take 45 minutes to get to?! 

I'm not even suggesting that 45 minutes is far, it's not. But for 9 miles it's ridiculous. Cali is a whole 'nother world ya'll. 

Yup. MDR is soooo far because it is not West Hollywood.

[nexxie]

Jax is surprisingly right about Tom and Ariana wanting different things and needing to have a talk.

[LaLaLaLa]

When Jax speaks directly to the camera, he looks like a psychopath.

[Mr. Miner]

I’m starting to dislike everyone on this show. It will soon be added to my hate watch list.

[SarahPrtr]

29 minutes ago, rideashire said:

 

I'm not even suggesting that 45 minutes is far, it's not. But for 9 miles it's ridiculous. Cali is a whole 'nother world ya'll.

I thought everywhere in LA took 20 minutes??  Haha.

[Wicked]

I have realized that for me, this show is about the Witches of WeHo, Stassi, Kristen, and Katie.  There was not enough of them this episode. 

[nexxie]

Anyone else get the feeling Tom was wishing he and Ariana were in a monogamous relationship?

[ghoulina]

Stassi's description of how to get to Scheana's new house was hilarious. "If Beau lived on the west side, I'd break up with him." Hahaha!

And now Scheana's banging Adam, but doesn't want a relationship. Of course! Because he's not rich or somewhat famous. 

Something where Scheana is being chased and murdered works for me too. 

I can't deal with Billie, because she DOES try to spin everything. She knows full well how things went down, then just acts all - "Who me??" 

Also, was she downing a Capri Sun while LaLa was yelling at her?

 

Ariana and Tom are kind of a mess. She thinks he's good with whatever she wants - But he says not having kids is a deal breaker. 

I hate to say it, but I kind of side with Jax, but....if you both don't have the same end goal, you ARE kind of wasting time.

But Sandoval was dead wrong for sharing that story. Dead wrong. And his hat WAS annoying. 

 

70s party - Kirsten looked hot. Everyone else? Meh. And, Brittany, lose the curls. 

[itsadryheat]

"I'm way to sober to be in the middle of this" - sober James

Needs to be a t-shirt.

[breezy424]

Scheana needs a good haircut STAT.  What a mess.

Tom and Ariana need to have a conversation STAT. 

And I agree with Ariana.  You don't talk to a group of people about your significant other's sex life.  That's their call.

[ParadoxLost]

36 minutes ago, nexxie said:

Anyone else get the feeling Tom was wishing he and Ariana were in a monogamous relationship?

I think Tom is preparing to break up with Ariana, whether he realizes it or not, so it doesn't bother him so much to sprinkle a little dirt around about her. 

[Kiki777]

I usually hate Jax but him calling James elf-on-a-shelf was hilarious - and accurate!  

Scheana is trying way too hard to convince herself Adam is into her.

While I do agree that Tom should not have gossiped about Ariana's sexuality, what does she expect being on a Bravo show?  Any of these jerks will sell you out for a storyline.

Can I just say though that Ariana/Lala would make a much more interesting couple than Ariana/Tom or Lala/MyMan?

[itsadryheat]

1 minute ago, Kiki777 said:

I usually hate Jax but him calling James elf-on-a-shelf was hilarious - and accurate!  

Scheana is trying way too hard to convince herself Adam is into her.

While I do agree that Tom should not have gossiped about Ariana's sexuality, what does she expect being on a Bravo show?  Any of these jerks will sell you out for a storyline.

Can I just say though that Ariana/Lala would make a much more interesting couple than Ariana/Tom or Lala/MyMan?

Shoot KIKI, I was just typing the same thing - so funny, so accurate. Will never view James as a non elf again!

[itsadryheat]

"Your hat's annoying, your face is annoying - goodbye". Ariana to a deserved Tom. So many good one liners tonight! 

[heatherchandler]

“Raquel you want some CHICKEN???”

[WhosThatGirl]

I feel like Schena was trying to be self aware about her comment to the producers “last season I looked like the girl who was married to Shay but in love with rob and now I oook like the girl who last season was dating rob but really wanted Adam..” and it didn’t work. 

FI sucks. Like are people still enjoying him? 

[Travellin]

Yikes! Where did those idiots get the idea that they were dressed ‘70s’. Quite the mish mash. 

[HunterHunted]

2 hours ago, ghoulina said:

I can't deal with Billie, because she DOES try to spin everything. She knows full well how things went down, then just acts all - "Who me??" 

Billie does this, but at the same time I give her a bit of a pass because her anger does overlap her legitimate trauma and some of her more altruistic motives.

Lala is the person I actually loathe. There are assholes in this cast who have pulled bigger more heinous shit, but Lala is one of the few who acts like an asshole and insists she's somehow on the side of the angels. Billie did start that conversation off reasonably, when Lala decided to go to 11 really quickly because she wasn't prepared to be the least bit thoughtful or slightly remorseful. But she also pulled the same shit with Raquel. I find everything about her so disingenuous and manipulative. And her shitty apology to Raquel was the definition of perfunctory. "I'm sorry I called you a twat. You're welcome." Her karma is to end up like Kim Zolciak.

I literally don't understand the weird parameters of the Sandoval/Ariana relationship.

I really dislike these people, but it's a matter of degrees where they land on that spectrum.

Edited January 29, 2019 by HunterHunted

[Steph J]

3 hours ago, LaLaLaLa said:

When Jax speaks directly to the camera, he looks like a psychopath.

When Jax speaks to anyone he looks like a psychopath.

 

1 hour ago, ParadoxLost said:

I think Tom is preparing to break up with Ariana, whether he realizes it or not, so it doesn't bother him so much to sprinkle a little dirt around about her. 

I suspect that you're right and that this is why he's seems so pissy about everything (more so than usual) this season. He's taking all his negative feelings about his relationship and projecting them outwards.

[gingerella]

3 hours ago, rideashire said:

So I hear everyone complaining about how far away Scheana's apartment is and I'm thinking they must be exaggerating so I google the general area and find directions to SUR. How the hell can something 9 miles away take 45 minutes to get to?! 

I'm not even suggesting that 45 minutes is far, it's not. But for 9 miles it's ridiculous. Cali is a whole 'nother world ya'll.

Ha, you never lived in LA did you? It’s not an exageration, you gotta battle regular LA traffic and LAX traffic...and being geographically desirable is real.

[biakbiak]

Good to know that Schenna not dating a guy is just as annoying and embarrassing when she is dating  a guy!

[FrankieTankie]

Ariana is a piece of shit ... she’s stuck up and thinks the world revolves around her ... she treats Tom like a dog and is always telling him what he’s doing wrong... granted Tom is a sissy and he seems more attracted to himself and the other Tom... I really don’t think Ariana even likes Tom ... Tom is always complaining they never have sex and he’s always trying to sleep with her and she’s never in the mood but she’ll hop in the back seat of car and let lala go down on her .... can’t stand her 

Edited January 29, 2019 by FrankieTankie

[MVFrostsMyPie]

Stassi, the Californians did it better. :)

[ivygirl]

Shoutout to Katie’s low-key Taco Bell sweatshirt.

Also: Shoutout to the shot of Scheana’s “It’s all happening” tattoo in the middle of the Lala/Billie beef.

On that note, I am reluctantly on Billie’s side *in that instance.* She seemed pretty low key at first, and Lala just got so dismissive and loud. 

Edited January 29, 2019 by ivygirl

[langford peel]

4 hours ago, ParadoxLost said:

I think Tom is preparing to break up with Ariana, whether he realizes it or not, so it doesn't bother him so much to sprinkle a little dirt around about her. 

Correct me if I am wrong but haven’t we had whole seasons of drama about cheating? Ariana cheated on Tom right in front of his face and he is supposed to like it because why? Because it was a same sex hook up so that doesn’t count?

Wait a minute.... she cheated on him behind his back. He was in the front seat.

Never mind.

[Jets4274]

I wasn't surprised to hear about Ariana's sexuality.  She and Sandoval have always given off the vibe of being sexually fluid - Sandoval especially.  Can see why he was upset.  He constantly talks about not getting any while in the meantime, his girl has no issue getting eaten out by a woman literally in his face. For a dude that cries all the time, was interesting how he wasn't in tears when he was having it out with Ariana.

The producers know how to get the best dirt: when the cast is shit-faced and loose lipped. Alcohol is truly a truth serum. Sandoval should have kept his mouth shut.  I get that it's TV but there were no cameras around when things went down (pun intended). No one had to know.

I think Jax is starting to grow up a bit. It's about time since he's pushing 40.

Scheana's only real storyline is her guy situation and she's milking it.

Maybe I'm hormonal but I got a little teary-eyed when the Toms got emotional seeing TomTom.  

Edited January 29, 2019 by Jets4274

[yourmomiseasy]

5 hours ago, rideashire said:

So I hear everyone complaining about how far away Scheana's apartment is and I'm thinking they must be exaggerating so I google the general area and find directions to SUR. How the hell can something 9 miles away take 45 minutes to get to?! 

I'm not even suggesting that 45 minutes is far, it's not. But for 9 miles it's ridiculous. Cali is a whole 'nother world ya'll. 

Meanwhile, her new man saying they need a night apart cracked me up. Poor girl, she's so into him even if she says she's not, and he's just....not. That seems to be the story of her life.

Honestly, 45 minutes is optimistic.  I have to go to MDR tomorrow and I don't have to go "South of SUR forever and ever" because I'm already down by the 10 and I'm giving myself an hour because traffic.  If I was going at a better time of day I might be able to do it in 30 minutes, but I'd give myself 45 -- and I wouldn't take the 10 to the 405 to the 90, because I don't hate myself.  La Cienega to the 90 is usually faster.  For reference, on Stassi's map I'm a smidge up and right of where Washington meets the 10 and I'm going to just below the D in Lincoln Blvd.  I could just take Washington all the way through, but that usually takes a year, but I might take it home so I can go to In-N-Out.  

5 hours ago, SarahPrtr said:

I thought everywhere in LA took 20 minutes??  Haha.

Maybe in the 80s or 90s.  I remember traffic not being as bad once upon a time, but now it's like everywhere in LA takes an hour.  There're so many people and everything is always under construction.

I can't be bothered to do any checking on this, but based on how sweaty everyone was I'm assuming this was filmed in early July.  July was miserable last year. 

James in his 70s wig was hilarious to me.  

I loved when Lisa called to tell the Toms not to come that you can hear Katie say "but he flat ironed his hair" and that FI was sad because he'd already picked out his outfit.

Lala was actually fairly mellow for Lala, Billie was the first to raise her voice and Billie was the one to chase after Lala yelling about her not being better than anyone.  Lala took it to 100 when Billie brought in MyMan, but she's right that no one wants to include Billie because she's shown her ass.  

[Batwings]

2 hours ago, MVFrostsMyPie said:

Stassi, the Californians did it better. :)

Haa!!! That’s all I could think of during that segment. And I only heard “Marina Del Ray” in Kristen Wiig’s voice. Lmao.

[Kiki777]

2 hours ago, langford peel said:

Correct me if I am wrong but haven’t we had whole seasons of drama about cheating? Ariana cheated on Tom right in front of his face and he is supposed to like it because why? Because it was a same sex hook up so that doesn’t count?

Probably, considering that Lala is also in a relationship.  That was what surprised me about the hookup, that nobody considered it cheating.

On a much more urgent note, did I see a birthday cake made to look like a giant hamburger?? Or was it a giant hamburger with candles in it?

[langford peel]

For once Jax gave good advice. Tom doesn’t have any time to waste. Just like Jax said if you get a house and then get married and she decides that she doesnt want to have kids and that’s a dealbreaker then you are wasting your time.

Time to trade up Tom. You traded up when you dumped Kristen and hooked up with Ariana. Now it’s time to do it again.

[Duke2801]

“Raquel sorry I called you a twat.” OK I don’t like Laler but I cackled. Stassi asking why women don’t want to muff dive in her also tickled my funny bone. 

Billie was extra about the GNI stuff, but Katie was very ungracious when Billie apologized. I’d expect no less from her though. 

7 hours ago, breezy424 said:

Scheana needs a good haircut STAT.  What a mess.

 

She just needs to take her Kim Kardashian-inspired hair extensions out. She looks ridiculous.

[JenE4]

3 hours ago, langford peel said:

Correct me if I am wrong but haven’t we had whole seasons of drama about cheating? Ariana cheated on Tom right in front of his face and he is supposed to like it because why? Because it was a same sex hook up so that doesn’t count?

Wait a minute.... she cheated on him behind his back. He was in the front seat.

Never mind.

Yes!! I am firmly on Team Sandoval on this one. Ariana is lucky that Tom isn’t making this THE cheating scandal of the season! What the hell?! Ariana cheats with Sandoval RIGHT THERE and somehow HE’S the bad guy for telling his friends when cheating and telling and yelling is the cornerstone of this franchise. How is Ariana any more innocent than Kristin cheating with Jax while Sandoval was in the other room? Simply because it’s a woman he shouldn’t care? Do they have an open relationship—or just when it comes to women for her? If so, it must not be top secret for Lala to know it would be “okay” to ask—and Ariana thinking it’s just fine to immediately hop over the seat without a word to Tom and go to town with him right there. And if it was just a sudden thing, then that makes it even worse. I mean if people can fly in star witnesses to uncover cheating, I think it’s well within bounds for him to confide in his friends about it. 

[bosawks]

I couldn’t stop giggling at Tom and that hat.

If there’s a scene next episode with that hat and the trumpet I may pass out from laughter.

[SarahPrtr]

8 hours ago, Kiki777 said:

I usually hate Jax but him calling James elf-on-a-shelf was hilarious - and accurate!  

Scheana is trying way too hard to convince herself Adam is into her.

While I do agree that Tom should not have gossiped about Ariana's sexuality, what does she expect being on a Bravo show?  Any of these jerks will sell you out for a storyline.

Can I just say though that Ariana/Lala would make a much more interesting couple than Ariana/Tom or Lala/MyMan?

James - a muppet AND an elf!  The cartoonish one, not the graceful one from The Lord of the Rings.

 

I have a friend who lived and worked in LA about 10 years ago talking about the relentless traffic and the freeway.  I think anyone who watched Clueless back in the 90s remembers Mr Horowitz's quote about everywhere in LA taking 20 minutes to get to.

 

Sheana is bummed that her life didn't end up working out as the wife of a billionaire.  She latches on to ANY guy with the tiniest amount of significance because she's so desperate.  I bet Meghan Markle is her hero.  She was a divorced woman in her 30s, but ended up marrying into royalty, despite her hideous family.  Surprised that she didn't try to hook into Jeff Bezos whilst he was having an affair with Lauren Sanchez.

 

Ariana was never that into Tom, she just got an ego boost from him being so infatuated with her.  She could talk about not wanting to marry all she wants, but if she ever met a guy she was crazy-mad in love with, of course she would.  She's just never been insanely in love with a guy who was never that into her.  It does feel different.  I remember Tom looking like the cat that got the cream in season 3 when he was telling Schwartz about waking up and just getting down to it and how he'd already had sex with Ariana that morning.  Ariana was definitely taking the role of The Cool Girl.  It was all bullshit.

[Jel]

Im not a huge Billie fan or anything, but after watching that I was left with the impression that  Lala and Katie's "wokeness" is nothing more than a fashion statement.  

Depressing.

[DrSparkles]

3 hours ago, yourmomiseasy said:

Honestly, 45 minutes is optimistic.  I have to go to MDR tomorrow and I don't have to go "South of SUR forever and ever" because I'm already down by the 10 and I'm giving myself an hour because traffic.  If I was going at a better time of day I might be able to do it in 30 minutes, but I'd give myself 45 -- and I wouldn't take the 10 to the 405 to the 90, because I don't hate myself.  La Cienega to the 90 is usually faster.  For reference, on Stassi's map I'm a smidge up and right of where Washington meets the 10 and I'm going to just below the D in Lincoln Blvd.  I could just take Washington all the way through, but that usually takes a year, but I might take it home so I can go to In-N-Out.  

Maybe in the 80s or 90s.  I remember traffic not being as bad once upon a time, but now it's like everywhere in LA takes an hour.  There're so many people and everything is always under construction.

I can't be bothered to do any checking on this, but based on how sweaty everyone was I'm assuming this was filmed in early July.  July was miserable last year. 

James in his 70s wig was hilarious to me.  

I loved when Lisa called to tell the Toms not to come that you can hear Katie say "but he flat ironed his hair" and that FI was sad because he'd already picked out his outfit.

Lala was actually fairly mellow for Lala, Billie was the first to raise her voice and Billie was the one to chase after Lala yelling about her not being better than anyone.  Lala took it to 100 when Billie brought in MyMan, but she's right that no one wants to include Billie because she's shown her ass.  

See also: Atlanta, So Fla, etc. I live 10 miles from where I work (purposefully, it’s the closest I could afford). Used to (5 years ago) take 20 minutes for a 6.30am commute & 25 for a 4.30pm commute. Now, the am commute is the same, but the evening commute is FUBAR. I leave at 4.10 & it takes 45 minutes to an hour. Waaaahhhhh. Fucking forget about going to see friends in other parts of Atlanta, unless it’s organized & planned like the invasion of Mars!

How long ago was this Ariana/Lala sex? Damn it, I’m agreeing w Ariana at the bar fight w FI! That death glare was a thing of beauty! Stassi’s reaction: 💯 Stassi!!

I laughed until I cried at the TT kissing photo & Sandoval’s subsequent tears.

Edited January 29, 2019 by DrSparkles

[Drogo]

9 hours ago, itsadryheat said:

"I'm way to sober to be in the middle of this" - sober James

Needs to be a t-shirt.

I'm going to start yelling 'RAQUEL DO YOU WANT SOME CHICKEN' into the ether when I want to get out of a conversation. 

[dosodog]

3 hours ago, Kiki777 said:

Probably, considering that Lala is also in a relationship.  That was what surprised me about the hookup, that nobody considered it cheating.

On a much more urgent note, did I see a birthday cake made to look like a giant hamburger?? Or was it a giant hamburger with candles in it?

In the "pop up" video repeat, they had a small blurb about Lala wanting to keep what happened secret because she cheated on Herman. (Paraphrasing because I don't remember the exact wording).  So I think Lala, who instigated it, considered cheating when she sobered up.

39 minutes ago, Jel said:

Im not a huge Billie fan or anything, but after watching that I was left with the impression that  Lala and Katie's "wokeness" is nothing more than a fashion statement.  

Depressing.

I think the anger stems from what we don't see on tv. Sometimes I think there should be a preview to include the off tv social media for background purposes. 

I want to say somebody had posted that Twitter war in real time and it possibly puts perspective to everybody's positions.

[hoodooznoodooz]

Is it possible Raquel is dating Elf on a Shelf because she actually likes him? I don’t know if screen time is motivating her. She looks so uncomfortable on camera. Like she’s trying to blend into the background.

[Drogo]

4 hours ago, yourmomiseasy said:

I could just take Washington all the way through, but that usually takes a year, but I might take it home so I can go to In-N-Out.  

Worth any amount of traffic.

1 hour ago, JenE4 said:

Ariana is lucky that Tom isn’t making this THE cheating scandal of the season! What the hell?! Ariana cheats with Sandoval RIGHT THERE and somehow HE’S the bad guy for telling his friends when cheating and telling and yelling is the cornerstone of this franchise. How is Ariana any more innocent than Kristin cheating with Jax while Sandoval was in the other room?

I have to imagine there was some sort of consent given which makes it 'not cheating.'  Something like 'Sandoval I want to give your girlfriend oral' to which he probably said 'Sure that's cool' and then had second thoughts once he got undoubtedly heckled/mocked by one or both of the women.  When he was telling the story he didn't seem to have any issue with it and even came off braggy, but when he got found out for telling the story it was I was uncomfortable/didn't you notice, you should have known I wasn't okay with it/etc.  And if he was uncomfortable or wasn't okay with her extracurriculars, it was up to him to say that in the moment.  Neither men nor women should be able to blame others for not hearing words they never said.

44 minutes ago, Jel said:

Lala and Katie's "wokeness" is nothing more than a fashion statement.  

Yep.  When Lala heard cis-privilege, she was proud of not knowing what it was and very dismissive and everyone thought she was adorable and funny.  If you've heard of any ___-privilege, it doesn't take much to figure out what cis-privilege is.

[ghoulina]

9 hours ago, Kiki777 said:

While I do agree that Tom should not have gossiped about Ariana's sexuality, what does she expect being on a Bravo show?  Any of these jerks will sell you out for a storyline.

Valid point. I did laugh when Lala was all, "Oh it happened, but I lied to protect Ariana". Yet you're telling everyone in your confessional. Does she really think she's having a private conversation with a priest or something?

 

29 minutes ago, Drogo said:

I'm going to start yelling 'RAQUEL DO YOU WANT SOME CHICKEN' into the ether when I want to get out of a conversation. 

I love this so much. 

Also, if someone is giving you a ration of shit, just start yelling - "It's not about the pasta!" 

James may be a little punk half the time, but damn if he isn't good TV. He's given us some great lines over the years. 

[Jel]

36 minutes ago, dosodog said:

In the "pop up" video repeat, they had a small blurb about Lala wanting to keep what happened secret because she cheated on Herman. (Paraphrasing because I don't remember the exact wording).  So I think Lala, who instigated it, considered cheating when she sobered up.

I think the anger stems from what we don't see on tv. Sometimes I think there should be a preview to include the off tv social media for background purposes. 

I want to say somebody had posted that Twitter war in real time and it possibly puts perspective to everybody's positions.

I think that's fair; I haven't read everything that was tweeted, and it's quite possible that somewhere in that exchange Katie or Lala said something about understanding that this is an especially sensitive issue for Billie (given her history) and expressed regret about not thinking about that at the time. I don't see any perfect behavior in this scenario, Billie gave as good as she got, but would it have killed them to say sorry I didn't think about how their unintentional exclusion could have made Billie feel...at some point... like Ariana did? Maybe they did say that, and good for them if they did. 

But I will say this: I'm a middle-aged, Canadian suburban housewife, and I know what cis-privilege means; the fact that Lala doesn't, or refuses to admit she does, tells me something about her. 

And just in general, I'm done with Herman-as-sacrosanct. If you don't want Herman talked about, I politely suggest you get off my tv. 

[oakville]

It does not look like Ariana & Tom will stay together. She doesn't treat him very well.

[hoodooznoodooz]

Most everyone put in 100% more effort dressing up for Stassi and Ariana’s BD party, compared to Jax and Sandoval’s BD party. 

One of Ariana’s TH dresses. There’s a diagonal slit across the chest. Blech. It looks like her rightside breast is in a sling or hammock.

Billie looks better as a brunette. Or maybe she just needs a more natural shade of blonde.  

I couldn’t follow the Jax/James spat. Did James declare that when Lala wants it, there’s no stopping her; Jax claimed she wanted Jax, but Jax rebuffed her; then James insisted that Jax ultimately relented?

[Drogo]

Just now, oakville said:

It does not look like Ariana & Tom will stay together. She doesn't treat him very well.

Have to say... I'd be pretty pissed if Beau told Stassi her "face is annoying and her hat is annoying and to get away from him because he doesn't want to look at her" so I don't really know why I'm not more pissed at Ariana.  Maybe I have a double standard for the mean things women can say to men.