LuAnn de Lesseps: No Longer a Countess, Still Never a Princess

[Gam2]

I enjoyed the recap of her performance in Royal Oak, MI. I’ve gone back and forth about Lu’s “sobriety”. I couldn’t figure out if she’d denying that she’s an alcoholic or if she really believes she’s not one so doesn’t need to take AA, the courts, the probation, etc. seriously. I now believe that she’s denying that she has a problem. If she denies it long enough then everyone will believe it. She does not WANT to have a problem with alcohol because it interferes in the life she wants to live therefore she DOES NOT have a problem with alcohol. This will lead to no good end. For Lu and her children.

[bosawks]

I think that Lu believes alcoholism is an inconvenience and Lu doesn't believe in inconvenience.

Therefore, Lu is not an alcoholic.

[b2H]

Here's the thing for me:

I'm not in the program, but spent eight years living with someone who has over 40 years sobriety and attended a number of open meetings with him all over the country, as we traveled together.  He always said to me, as those were getting their signatures at the end of the meeting, that AA was never meant to be a tool of the judicial system to enforce sobriety.  As those who've outted themselves as members here know:  the first step to sobriety is admitting there's a problem and the second is wanting to do something about it, as it is with any mental illness or addiction.  Sentencing someone to regular AA meetings defeats the purpose of those steps as, often, there's no acknowledgement of either the first or second step.  A path to failure in the worst possible way.

Lu has done neither, clearly.  She has neither admitted the problem nor is she all that concerned about doing anything about it.  No amount of rehab is going to help her because she doesn't believe, in her heart of hearts, that there's anything wrong.  She's plastered over that part of her mind with the lie she tells herself that all is well and she's managing just fine.  It's not true.  No amount of convincing from outside - from her friends, from her colleagues, from the justice system - will have any impact.

She needs to get to the point where my friend did, when his brother asked him more than 40 years ago while recovering from the latest binge:  'have you had enough?'

Edited May 14, 2019 by b2H

[SweetieDarling]

So, Mr Darling is traveling for work, and yesterday told me there was a frantic, naked, not at all sober man banging on his (Mr Darling's) hotel room door pleading to be let back into his (frantic naked man's) room. Hotel security got involved. Is Lu, by any chance, appearing or vacationing in the Pacific Northwest at the moment? 

Edited May 14, 2019 by SweetieDarling
spelling

[Ellee]

Hey .... rumor has it that LuLu was  having a secret meeting with law enforcement officials regarding her violation of probation.   Though the location was not disclosed, it was said that it was somewhere in the Pacific Northwest. 

Did anyone here read that too or was it just my imagination? 

😄

[SweetieDarling]

I wonder where Rey is?

[Ellee]

2 minutes ago, SweetieDarling said:

I wonder where Rey is?

Lol ... I immediately pictured that drunk guy Ramona and Sonja were talking to at that party but I bet this is the awkward kiss guy. 😄

[AnnA]

4 hours ago, Ellee said:

Hey .... rumor has it that LuLu was  having a secret meeting with law enforcement officials regarding her violation of probation.   Though the location was not disclosed, it was said that it was somewhere in the Pacific Northwest. 

Did anyone here read that too or was it just my imagination? 

😄

LuAnn was arrested in Florida and her probation moved to New York. There is no reason for her to meet with law enforcement in the Pacific Northwest unless she committed another crime there.  

Edited May 15, 2019 by AnnA

[Mondrianyone]

29 minutes ago, AnnA said:

LuAnn was arrested in Florida and her probation moved to New York. There is no reason for her to meet with law enforcement in the Pacific Northwest unless she committed another crime there.

I'm pretty sure this was meant to be a joke.

[AnnA]

24 minutes ago, Mondrianyone said:

I'm pretty sure this was meant to be a joke.

Really?    Hmm?   I need to lighten up!   LOL

[eleanorofaquitaine]

So here's my thing about Lu - I have never been a fan because I have always thought she was incredibly pretentious. Basically, anyone who seriously wanted Americans to use a stupid European title when speaking of her would have to be. 

But I have also always thought that said pretentiousness was mostly a cover for her feeling really inadequate to the world she found herself in. In other words, she comes from working class roots, and no doubt that she was always afraid of those working class roots holding her back in the hoity-toity world she has found herself in.

And I still think that is at the root of her obnoxiousness - her demands for the best room or that people cater to her needs. Whenever she feels like a fish out of water, she leans into the "Countess" persona because that makes her feel less vulnerable. It was interesting to actually see her show a little vulnerability last night in saying that she wanted Bethenny to see her at her best as opposed to her worst. That was the most real I think we've ever seen her. 

Unfortunately, I think that the success of the cabaret show is only going to reinforce that leaning in to the pretentious persona is the best way to cover feeling vulnerable and "not good enough."

[chewycandy]

On 5/15/2019 at 2:26 PM, Ellee said:

Lol ... I immediately pictured that drunk guy Ramona and Sonja were talking to at that party but I bet this is the awkward kiss guy. 😄

Oh no, that was Rey. “Ibiza, you bitch!” I can’t remember the greasy kiss guy’s name...a preppy nickname...Court?

[nexxie]

13 hours ago, eleanorofaquitaine said:

So here's my thing about Lu - I have never been a fan because I have always thought she was incredibly pretentious. Basically, anyone who seriously wanted Americans to use a stupid European title when speaking of her would have to be. 

But I have also always thought that said pretentiousness was mostly a cover for her feeling really inadequate to the world she found herself in. In other words, she comes from working class roots, and no doubt that she was always afraid of those working class roots holding her back in the hoity-toity world she has found herself in.

And I still think that is at the root of her obnoxiousness - her demands for the best room or that people cater to her needs. Whenever she feels like a fish out of water, she leans into the "Countess" persona because that makes her feel less vulnerable. It was interesting to actually see her show a little vulnerability last night in saying that she wanted Bethenny to see her at her best as opposed to her worst. That was the most real I think we've ever seen her. 

Unfortunately, I think that the success of the cabaret show is only going to reinforce that leaning in to the pretentious persona is the best way to cover feeling vulnerable and "not good enough."

imo this is all true - plus, she is very high in narcissistic tendencies (including lack of empathy) so the Countess and the Cabaret Star are actual masks.

[SuprSuprElevated]

On 5/12/2019 at 7:15 PM, Gam2 said:

I enjoyed the recap of her performance in Royal Oak, MI.

I'm guessing she only agreed to perform in lowly Michigan because the location had "Royal" in its name.

[Ellee]

12 hours ago, chewycandy said:

Oh no, that was Rey. “Ibiza, you bitch!” I can’t remember the greasy kiss guy’s name...a preppy nickname...Court?

Lol ... yes, his name was Court!

Does anyone remember the name of the guy that LuLu dared for a long period of time?  All I can come up with is ‘wine guy’. 

[snarts]

^Jacques

[Normades]

2 hours ago, Ellee said:

Lol ... yes, his name was Court!

Does anyone remember the name of the guy that LuLu dared for a long period of time?  All I can come up with is ‘wine guy’. 

His name was Jacques.  Seemed like a pretty nice guy.

[HunterHunted]

On 5/16/2019 at 8:44 PM, chewycandy said:

I can’t remember the greasy kiss guy’s name...a preppy nickname...Court?

13 hours ago, Ellee said:

Lol ... yes, his name was Court!

It's actually Coerte Felske. He's a writer. I loved Shallow Man. His others, not so much. I've said before that you can tell in Sex and the City when Candace Bushnell is hanging with Coerte because her writing starts to sound more like him.

http://www.amazon.com/kindle-dbs/author/ref=dbs_a_mng_awm_scns_share%3F_encoding=UTF8&asin=B001HPTGR0

https://www.gettyimages.co.uk/detail/news-photo/coerte-felske-james-toback-and-brett-ratner-attend-extell-news-photo/605309160

11 hours ago, Normades said:

His name was Jacques.  Seemed like a pretty nice guy.

How could anyone forget Jacques? He looked like David Schwimmer and it's how we found out that Alexandre, the Count, is an anti-semite because Luann mentioned it and chuckled like it was a funny joke. "The man that I was married to is a bigot. Isn't that hilarious."

[Happy Camper]

I do get that it's not to everyone's taste in homes but I gotta say I love Lu's round house. It's exactly my style, mid century mod. Love the views, the deck, the beautiful setting and 200 feet of waterfront is fantastic.

I love the bathroom and even the ugly chaise lounge.

I would have to figure out window coverings. 

[SuprSuprElevated]

On 5/18/2019 at 10:32 AM, Happy Camper said:

I do get that it's not to everyone's taste in homes but I gotta say I love Lu's round house. It's exactly my style, mid century mod. Love the views, the deck, the beautiful setting and 200 feet of waterfront is fantastic.

I love the bathroom and even the ugly chaise lounge.

I would have to figure out window coverings. 

I liked it too, though I would definitely rethink the kitchen in the guest room.  I wouldn't think that Lu would want her guests to have access to a heat or cooking source.  Furreal.

[Alonzo Mosely FBI]

On 5/15/2019 at 3:21 PM, SweetieDarling said:

I wonder where Rey is?

He's in "Ibiza, you bitcssschhh" of course! Lol 

[Mateony]

Judge orders reality TV star Luann de Lesseps into custody

[hoodooznoodooz]

7 minutes ago, Mateony said:

Judge orders reality TV star Luann de Lesseps into custody

Yay, Judge!!!!

So I guess she’ll miss out on the reunion again.

[Ellee]

Wonder how much Cabaret tickets go for in jail.  😮

(Come on....everyone was thinking that.   ☺️ )

[Natalie68]

10 minutes ago, Ellee said:

Wonder how much Cabaret tickets go for in jail.  😮

(Come on....everyone was thinking that.   ☺️ )

Hopefully her cellmates will enjoy her cabaret music.  I am sure she didn't expect it would turn out this way.  The judge just has no idea the level of star he is dealing with.  HA!

[breezy424]

1 hour ago, hoodooznoodooz said:

Yay, Judge!!!!

So I guess she’ll miss out on the reunion again.

Apparently she was there.  I was wondering why they were filming the reunion so early.

https://www.aol.com/article/entertainment/2019/05/23/rhony-luann-de-lesseps-ordered-back-into-custody-for-violating-probation/23733825/

[bosawks]

2 hours ago, Mateony said:

Judge orders reality TV star Luann de Lesseps into custody

Looks like her next Kander and Ebb number will be "Cell Block Tango" not "Cabaret".....

[sasha206]

Looks like Lu just guaranteed herself another season of RHONY.  Unless she can't stay out of jail.

[biakbiak]

She’s not going to jail though she was briefly handcuffed and than released.

[QuinnM]

4 minutes ago, biakbiak said:

She’s not going to jail though she was briefly handcuffed and than released.

I just read the PageSix list of what she has to do to stay on probation.  So she has to take those pills that make you sick if you drink and she has a breathalyzer that reports to a database.  So I'm guessing either certain times of the day or maybe whenever they randomly ask.  So she's under someone's thumb big time now.

[car54]

Dr Oz is sad.

[SunnyBeBe]

27 minutes ago, car54 said:

Dr Oz is sad.

I agree.  I have read that one of the symptoms of addiction is relapse. It's very common and normally a lifetime struggle.  And, not a morality issue.  I know she gets herself into a lot of trouble, but, I wonder if it's due to her brain not working the way a person who isn't an alcoholic would work. 

[SuprSuprElevated]

Yeah, like I said, she's not going to jail.  Such bullshit.  She agreed to other terms to avoid jail.  As if she was ever going in the first place.  This is so wrong, and will result in me leaving the franchise.  Didn't put up with it after the Guiduce BS, and not putting up with it here either.  Shame. 

[biakbiak]

6 minutes ago, SuprSuprElevated said:

Yeah, like I said, she's not going to jail.  Such bullshit.  She agreed to other terms to avoid jail.  As if she was ever going in the first place.  This is so wrong, and will result in me leaving the franchise.  Didn't put up with it after the Guiduce BS, and not putting up with it here either.  Shame. 

To be fair more and more judges do try to avoid jail time for people, not just famous people, with addiction issues.

[snarts]

It's amazing to me that people don't understand that you can't force sobriety. It would be great if it were that simple. However, addiction is a disease. 

On a separate point, what the hell good would it do to put her (or any other addict) in prison? Our jails/prisons are overcrowded and personally, I'd to save that space for the murderers, rapists, pedophiles, etc. 

[SweetieDarling]

3 minutes ago, snarts said:

It's amazing to me that people don't understand that you can't force sobriety. It would be great if it were that simple. However, addiction is a disease. 

On a separate point, what the hell good would it do to put her (or any other addict) in prison? Our jails/prisons are overcrowded and personally, I'd to save that space for the murderers, rapists, pedophiles, etc. 

To me, this isn't so much about her addiction, but her total disregard for the law and not being one bit grateful for the slap on the wrist she was given rather than jail time for the felonies she could have been charged with. She should At Least go through the motions and show up at meetings and refrain from drinking, even if only for her probation period. imo, this compromise will only feed into her already over inflated ego and belief that The Countess is above the law.

[Alonzo Mosely FBI]

Money can't buy you class, but it can buy your way out of jail time. 

Imagine if Luann was (actually) black, poor, or ESL. 

Edited May 23, 2019 by Alonzo Mosely FBI

[Ellee]

Did we ever confirm or deny the report that ‘naked man beating on Mr Darling’s hotel door in the Pacific Northwest’ was in fact a Florida judge? 

Just curious. 

[SuprSuprElevated]

38 minutes ago, SweetieDarling said:

this isn't so much about her addiction, but her total disregard for the law and not being one bit grateful for the slap on the wrist she was given rather than jail

x ∞  

I'm amazed by how the inequality on display here, and all that it says, is questioned or confused with a healthcare issue.  I don't intend to debate the issue as everyone feels how they feel.

[Lady J]

1 hour ago, SweetieDarling said:

To me, this isn't so much about her addiction, but her total disregard for the law and not being one bit grateful for the slap on the wrist she was given rather than jail time for the felonies she could have been charged with. She should At Least go through the motions and show up at meetings and refrain from drinking, even if only for her probation period. imo, this compromise will only feed into her already over inflated ego and belief that The Countess is above the law.

This x 1000 !

[AuntieDiane6]

Quote

On a separate point, what the hell good would it do to put her (or any other addict) in prison? Our jails/prisons are overcrowded and personally, I'd to save that space for the murderers, rapists, pedophiles, etc. 

Jail will keep them off the road.  If they don't follow a judge's simple orders, if they leave rehab early, if they make excuses for drinking, what makes you think they won't get behind the wheel of a car when they're drunk?

[biakbiak]

10 minutes ago, AuntieDiane6 said:

Jail will keep them off the road.  If they don't follow a judge's simple orders, if they leave rehab early, if they make excuses for drinking, what makes you think they won't get behind the wheel of a car when they're drunk?

Lots of alcoholics don’t drive drunk. Lu was arrested in a hotel room so wasn’t going to be driving so I don’t know what that has to do with anything.

[CharlizeCat]

I see two problems here. The first is that yeah, Luann believes that she's above the law and doesn't have to comply with the terms of her probation. She probably thought that due to her "status" that after a few months, she'd fade off the Florida court's radar. Not the case and I'm glad she got caught.

My youngest brother is in recovery and does a lot of leadership work with AA. He said that the people who are forced by the court to attend meetings have a very high rate of relapse. It's the same for jail-time induced detox. 

The second issue is the problem drinking. I just don't think that Luann wants to be or stay sober. Anybody who gets blackout drunk enough to assault and threaten a police office has a serious problem. If she were serious, then she'd make some drastic lifestyle choices that would keep her far off the path of temptation. Quitting performing in nightclubs and bars would be a good start. I assume she needs the income from the show, so I guess quitting that isn't an option. Could she take a year off and appear as a "friend?" Barbara gets plenty of screen time as a friend, as well as Camille on RHoBH. 

Kinda sucks when your job(s) require that you have to be around drinking/alcohol. I don't know what the answer is for Luann, but I hope this latest development took her insufferable attitude down a notch or 10,000.

[SuprSuprElevated]

23 minutes ago, CharlizeCat said:

Kinda sucks when your job(s) require that you have to be around drinking/alcohol. I don't know what the answer is for Luann, but I hope this latest development took her insufferable attitude down a notch or 10,000.

She is a trained nurse, not for nuttin'.

[Mindthinkr]

7 hours ago, QuinnM said:

I just read the PageSix list of what she has to do to stay on probation.  So she has to take those pills that make you sick if you drink and she has a breathalyzer that reports to a database.  So I'm guessing either certain times of the day or maybe whenever they randomly ask.  So she's under someone's thumb big time now.

The drugs name is Antabuse. It doesn’t work if she doesn’t take it. If she does take it even things like mouthwash (a lot of brands contain a modicum of alcohol) would make her violently ill. Hmm. I wonder how this is going to play out.  

[biakbiak]

8 minutes ago, SuprSuprElevated said:

She is a trained nurse, not for nuttin'.

She was an LPN almost 30 years ago it’s not like she could pick up where she left off. 

[howiveaddict]

4 hours ago, Alonzo Mosely FBI said:

Money can't buy you class, but it can buy your way out of jail time. 

Imagine if Luann was (actually) black, poor, or ESL. 

She probably would have  been shot or at least tazed during the first altercation.

[Alonzo Mosely FBI]

42 minutes ago, CharlizeCat said:

. If she were serious, then she'd make some drastic lifestyle choices that would keep her far off the path of temptation. Quitting performing in nightclubs and bars would be a good start.

I agree that this environment has to go. 

8 minutes ago, howiveaddict said:

She probably would have  been shot or at least tazed during the first altercation.

Exactly!

[biakbiak]

3 minutes ago, Alonzo Mosely FBI said:

I agree that this environment has to go. 

The event she was caught drinking after was at the Chicago Theatre so neither a nightclub or a bar so I don’t think the environment of the venue matters.

[CharlizeCat]

So, her probation ends at the end of August. Then what?  Can she just go back to living the way she was before all of this happened? I didn't realize that her probation period was so close to being over. You'd think she could stick it out for a few more months. I admit that I haven't followed her situation that closely, other than what I read here, so maybe I am missing details about what's next after the end of August.

I've never taken Antabuse, but just read about what happens if you drink alcohol while you're on it. Rough. Two reactions that jumped out were rapid weight gain and loss of interest in sex. Those alone are fitting enough punishment for Luann.