Bethenny & Jason: The Divorce Showdown

[film noire]

2 hours ago, Jextella said:

Quick question.  So, we have to wait for what...another 8month or so to learn the fate of Bethenny's attempt at sole custody?

....just checking so I know when to check back here :)

LOL

And -- unless they settle out of court as the judge urged them to do --  April it is, Jextella :)

[Rosiejuliemom]

4 hours ago, Jextella said:

Quick question.  So, we have to wait for what...another 8month or so to learn the fate of Bethenny's attempt at sole custody?

....just checking so I know when to check back here :)

 

1 hour ago, film noire said:

LOL

And -- unless they settle out of court as the judge urged them to do --  April it is, Jextella :)

I have a feeling that the custody dispute won't truly be settled until Bryn graduates high school, changes her name, and joins a 3-year scientific expedition to Antarctica.

[Jextella]

On 9/24/2018 at 7:11 PM, film noire said:

LOL

And -- unless they settle out of court as the judge urged them to do --  April it is, Jextella :)

Thanks Film Noire!  

[ShawnaLanne]

I just saw an article where the judge reprimanded Hoppy for asking that Bethenny take a drug test calling him opportunistic in the death of Dennis. 

Ha!

[RedDelicious]

See, I don't think Jason was unjustified in his request.  She was involved in a relationship with an addict and she has in fact posted social media content of herself significantly under the influence and behaving irrationally (Cookie's seizure) while Bryn was in her care.   If I were him I would want to make sure she was straight too.  You just never know. 

Edited October 16, 2018 by RedDelicious
bryn

[hoodooznoodooz]

2 hours ago, RedDelicious said:

See, I don't think Jason was unjustified in his request.  She was involved in a relationship with an addict and she has in fact posted social media content of herself significantly under the influence and behaving irrationally (Cookie's seizure).   If I were him I would want to make sure she was straight too.  You just never know. 

I agree. Bryn is the most important person in this equation. And Beth has nothing to hide, so why not. 

[geauxaway]

If you have nothing to hide then there should be no issue.  MENTION IT ALL!  Piss in a cup (or ice bucket) all day long.  

She acts erratic to say the least.  Did she not also “joke” about adderall on more than one occasion?  Yah, not funny.

[ShawnaLanne]

I just find it funny that the judge is basically calling Hoppy a scumbag.

[glowbug]

18 hours ago, ShawnaLanne said:

I just saw an article where the judge reprimanded Hoppy for asking that Bethenny take a drug test calling him opportunistic in the death of Dennis. 

Ha!

They haven’t had another court date. This is late reporting on the hearing in August. If it’s the same article I read, there were a lot of inaccuracies. 

[QuinnM]

15 minutes ago, glowbug said:

They haven’t had another court date. This is late reporting on the hearing in August. If it’s the same article I read, there were a lot of inaccuracies. 

This was last week.  Hoppy specifically referenced the wild party Instagram at the Berkshires from the weekend before.  Not sure what Hoppy did or said but he is on the wrong side of this judge.

Edited October 16, 2018 by QuinnM

[Happy Camper]

28 minutes ago, QuinnM said:

This was last week.  Hoppy specifically referenced the wild party Instagram at the Berkshires from the weekend before.  Not sure what Hoppy did or said but he is on the wrong side of this judge.

 

If Jason had posted multiple instagram stories involving himself and friends, similar to what Beth recently did, I believe that it would not have been outrageous for Beth to have requested drug testing.

Bethenny has been extremely erratic lately. When I watched those videos that Beth posted, it was concerning. IMO, it appeared that there was more than alcohol going on there.  I have seen other videos that Beth has posted where it appears that she is high on something. Coke would not surprise me at all. 

Jason maybe let it go that Bethenny allowed Bryn onto a boat with no PFD. Now he has had enough. He is taking action.

I don't care if he is on the wrong side of the judge. He is on the right side of Bryn.

Edited October 16, 2018 by Happy Camper

[Mindthinkr]

6 minutes ago, Happy Camper said:

Bethenny has been extremely erratic lately. When I watched those videos that Beth posted, it was concerning. IMO, it appeared that there was more than alcohol going on there.  I have seen other videos that Beth has posted where it appears that she is high on something. Coke would not surprise me at all. 

I’ve read a few things on the Blinds about her. One was alleged coke use. Another is steroids (which can give people erratic behavior). Anything is possible but she just should have taken the drug test and put an end to all the question marks that people have in their minds. 

[Happy Camper]

3 minutes ago, Mindthinkr said:

I’ve read a few things on the Blinds about her. One was alleged coke use. Another is steroids (which can give people erratic behavior). Anything is possible but she just should have taken the drug test and put an end to all the question marks that people have in their minds. 

Yup. Mention it all!

[glowbug]

Quote

Frankel's attorney said not only is Hoppy inconsistent in the timing, both parents' sides have said Bryn is thriving, she is doing good in school. The drug and alcohol speculation is "harassment." In terms of Frankel's drinking, it's been "nothing in front of the child or with the child. She's on television, she's entertaining." There's nothing wrong with her having a party after launching her jeans line. "It's intrusive, there are constitutional issues."

Yes, Bryn is thriving and doing well in school, which begs the question of why Bethenny is seeking full custody. Jason wouldn't even be asking her to drug test if she hadn't filed for full custody and tried to take his child from him. I think the drug test stuff is petty. Unless she is doing drugs while Bryn is in her care, and there's reason to think she is, then she's not endangering Bryn and it's really not Jason's concern. But I get why he would want to paint her as an unsafe parent since she's trying to do the same to him (meaning that him having 50% custody is somehow harmful to Bryn). This is the only reason why a parent who wants joint custody shouldn't get it. It's one thing if both parents agree to have one parent get full custody for whatever reason, but if both parents want custody and neither is a danger to their child then they should have 50/50 custody because it's in the best interest of the child to have as much contact with both parents as they can. Jason may be a bad parent, I'm almost certain Bethenny is, but bad parenting is not the same as unsafe parenting and is far too subjective to remove a child. We would have way too many orphans if we took away custody from bad parents.

[Rap541]

5 hours ago, glowbug said:

Yes, Bryn is thriving and doing well in school, which begs the question of why Bethenny is seeking full custody.

It also pretty strongly suggests that Bryn isn't being severely damaged by her theoretically coke addled mother.  I mean, this argument does work both ways, with the added bonus that Jason has not been concerned enough about Bryn's care to file for sole custody himself.

Jason wants the current custody arrangement to stay in place. He's not seeking more time with Bryn. I mean, call Bethenny crazy, a bad parent, a dangerous influence, a possible drug addict, whatever... the best result of this custody case is that Bethenny continues to spend 50% of her time with Bryn alone, and Jason doesn't want that to change.

[glowbug]

I think you misunderstood my post. I never argued that Bethenny should lose custody of Bryn. In fact, I said the opposite. Bryn, by Bethenny's lawyer's own admission, is thriving with the current custody arrangement, therefore, I don't think either of them should have full custody. I made a distinction between unsafe parenting and bad parenting. I think Bethenny is a bad parent, in part because she has demonstrated that she cannot put Bryn's needs above her own, which she has shown by trying to reduce the time Bryn spends with her father and putting her through another custody battle. Having sole custody is what's best for Bethenny but all available evidence suggests that what's best for Bryn is to have both her mother and father in her life.

16 hours ago, Rap541 said:

Jason wants the current custody arrangement to stay in place. He's not seeking more time with Bryn. I mean, call Bethenny crazy, a bad parent, a dangerous influence, a possible drug addict, whatever... the best result of this custody case is that Bethenny continues to spend 50% of her time with Bryn alone, and Jason doesn't want that to change.

I agree. The best result of this custody case is that Bethenny and Jason share custody 50/50. That's what I indicated in my previous post. 

Edited October 17, 2018 by glowbug

[Rap541]

No problem, glowbug - I didn't misunderstand, I was just commenting that despite the posts about how Bethenny is a terrible parent, unsafe, and probably using drugs (coke?) that Jason's reaction to these accusations is to not file for sole custody himself. 

If Bethenny wins, she gets to make decisions without Jason's input but still would only see Bryn 50% of the time (unless she then pursued greater custody which would take more time etc etc.)

If Bethenny loses, Bethenny, the coke addict bad parent who is hell bent on torturing Bryn into being a monster still gets to see Bryn 50% of the time.

If Bethenny really is this monstrous mother, ok, but Bryn by all reports is fine with the current custodial situation where she lives with a monster 50% of the time and is thriving and doing well, and *Jason* is perfectly ok with Bryn spending that 50% of her life with Bethenny the psycho who wants to recreate her own awful childhood.

Either Jason is an asshole who just isn't interested in rescuing his daughter, or things aren't so terrible with Bethenny's parenting that Jason feels compelled to try for custody. By all reports, while I don't think Jason is a great guy, I also don't think he's a monster so I have to believe he doesn't believe Bethenny is hell bent on raising Bryn to be monstrously damaged, or is endangering the child. Why? Because he's got no problem with that 50% and if Bethenny really was that bad, he'd be doing something. 

[Happy Camper]

I can certainly understand why Jason is concerned about Bethenny / potential drugs. Her instagram posts are so erratic and bizarre. Weird posts with caged birds today. She was commenting and she thought it was Tuesday. 

I am semi retired and I never have any trouble knowing what day of the week it is.

Girl ain't right.

Edited October 19, 2018 by Happy Camper

[teapot]

9 hours ago, Happy Camper said:

I can certainly understand why Jason is concerned about Bethenny / potential drugs. Her instagram posts are so erratic and bizarre. Weird posts with caged birds today. She was commenting and she thought it was Tuesday. 

 

I think I'm just envious that she lives in such a completely fabulous world that she doesn't even care when Friday comes!  this is not *my* experience so, cheers to the freakin' weekend, all...

[hoodooznoodooz]

10 hours ago, Happy Camper said:

I can certainly understand why Jason is concerned about Bethenny / potential drugs. Her instagram posts are so erratic and bizarre. Weird posts with caged birds today. She was commenting and she thought it was Tuesday. 

I am semi retired and I never have any trouble knowing what day of the week it is.

Girl ain't right.

Oh, my gosh. This is hilarious. Thank you, Happy Camper!

And Happy Monday!

Do we predict Beth is going to snap? Are we going to read about her checking into a spa, due to “exhaustion”? I just feel as if there is too much going on. She thrives on goals, objectives, projects, but even skinny gurlz can spread themselves too thin (hah).

Once again, poor Bryn.

[SweetieDarling]

10 hours ago, Happy Camper said:

I can certainly understand why Jason is concerned about Bethenny / potential drugs. Her instagram posts are so erratic and bizarre. Weird posts with caged birds today. She was commenting and she thought it was Tuesday. 

I am semi retired and I never have any trouble knowing what day of the week it is.

Girl ain't right.

 

Ummmm,... Doesn't Bryn go to school? How can she not know what day it is with a school aged child? Especially at this time of year with all the back-to-school nights, PTA meetings, parent-teacher conferences, fundraisers, random days off, and other events , not to mention spelling tests, etc.? Does she have an intern or employee tend to these things? I guess she's just so busy with the alleged demand for her jeans and her hurricane relief efforts that she lost track of what day it is? I hope she remembered to feed Bryn and the dogs.

Someone better remind her that Halloween is just around the corner so she can take advantage of the photo-op,and arrange to have someone take Bryn trick-or-treating.

Edited October 19, 2018 by SweetieDarling

[Rap541]

Are all parents judged this harshly these days? Because I now know why not being a parent was a good choice. Bethenny has a child so... she's a bad mother if she's not at EVERY PTA meeting? She has to attend every single parent teacher conference or else she's a bad mom? She has to go full bore on EVERY fundraiser and if the school has a day off, she needs to leave her work and spend the entire day devoting herself to Bryn? Or else she's a bad mom?

Because seriously, it's a little disturbing how being a parent means being a child's slave or else you're a bad parent. One missed event and you're a bad parent. Any assistance/dropping the kid off at day care instead of taking a day off of work to deal with a school day off. Do people really attend every PTA meeting now? Attend every school event, participate fully in every fundraiser, go to every parent teacher conference?

Because if so, then I had bad parents. 

Like, I know sometimes the insistence that Bethenny do x,y and z or else be called a bad parent is due to dislike of Bethenny, but I see enough parental shaming that I find myself seriously wondering - is this really whats expected? To use a non explosive example - do people really think Ramona attended every school event, went to every PTA meeting, every parent teacher conference? Because I don't see that as likely even though I do think my crazy caviar eating trash panda is a pretty decent mother

[Gam2]

I’ve never commented on this thread but I just read about parents who tortured their young baby who then died from that abuse. When you read something this horrifying and gut wrenching, it appears that Bryn has a pretty damn good life with a mom and a dad who truly love her. B and J need to grow the hell up, love their child more than they hate each other and stop taking up the court’s time BEING F...ING IDIOTS.  

[AuntieDiane6]

Quote

 Another is steroids (which can give people erratic behavior). 

No way would Bethenny take steroids as they are known for putting on weight.  

[geauxaway]

7 hours ago, Rap541 said:

Are all parents judged this harshly these days? Because I now know why not being a parent was a good choice. Bethenny has a child so... she's a bad mother if she's not at EVERY PTA meeting? She has to attend every single parent teacher conference or else she's a bad mom? She has to go full bore on EVERY fundraiser and if the school has a day off, she needs to leave her work and spend the entire day devoting herself to Bryn? Or else she's a bad mom?

Because seriously, it's a little disturbing how being a parent means being a child's slave or else you're a bad parent. One missed event and you're a bad parent. Any assistance/dropping the kid off at day care instead of taking a day off of work to deal with a school day off. Do people really attend every PTA meeting now? Attend every school event, participate fully in every fundraiser, go to every parent teacher conference?

Because if so, then I had bad parents. 

Like, I know sometimes the insistence that Bethenny do x,y and z or else be called a bad parent is due to dislike of Bethenny, but I see enough parental shaming that I find myself seriously wondering - is this really whats expected? To use a non explosive example - do people really think Ramona attended every school event, went to every PTA meeting, every parent teacher conference? Because I don't see that as likely even though I do think my crazy caviar eating trash panda is a pretty decent mother

If she is going to war for 100% custody for whatever reason (I honestly don’t know the fine print details) then yes, she better be at every single fucking meeting, event, fundraiser, etc.  For what reason would a parent ever miss a parent teacher conference?  They are once a year and are accommodated for us working folks, as they are after business hours.  I’m guessing Brynn’s school would even offer to do them on FaceTime if needed for those fancy parents.  She is a multi millionaire, there is no reason for her not to be super involved in Brynn’s school.  If it is a private school is it most likely required.  

And why wouldn’t she want to do as much as she can for her daughter?   She can save the world from hurricanes, she can certainly provide her resources and connections to her own daughter’s school. 

Becuse yes, being a part of the PTA, fundraising, volunteering and events at the school are part of the JOY of having a kid.  To me, at least.  I love every part of it.   I cherish it.  These are the glory days and our schools are amazing.  I will do anything and everything I can to be involved with our school district.  I’ve never felt shamed for not being able to attend something, but then again I attend all the things.  Why not???

As for Ramona, she seemed to be a very involved parent in Avery’s education all the way through college.  

Edited October 23, 2018 by geauxaway

[Rap541]

Never mind, my mistake for asking a general question

Edited October 23, 2018 by Rap541

[breezy424]

On 10/22/2018 at 4:24 PM, Rap541 said:

Are all parents judged this harshly these days? Because I now know why not being a parent was a good choice. Bethenny has a child so... she's a bad mother if she's not at EVERY PTA meeting? She has to attend every single parent teacher conference or else she's a bad mom? She has to go full bore on EVERY fundraiser and if the school has a day off, she needs to leave her work and spend the entire day devoting herself to Bryn? Or else she's a bad mom?

Because seriously, it's a little disturbing how being a parent means being a child's slave or else you're a bad parent. One missed event and you're a bad parent. Any assistance/dropping the kid off at day care instead of taking a day off of work to deal with a school day off. Do people really attend every PTA meeting now? Attend every school event, participate fully in every fundraiser, go to every parent teacher conference?

Because if so, then I had bad parents. 

Like, I know sometimes the insistence that Bethenny do x,y and z or else be called a bad parent is due to dislike of Bethenny, but I see enough parental shaming that I find myself seriously wondering - is this really whats expected? To use a non explosive example - do people really think Ramona attended every school event, went to every PTA meeting, every parent teacher conference? Because I don't see that as likely even though I do think my crazy caviar eating trash panda is a pretty decent mother

I don't think she has to go every PTA meeting but she does have to make sure that she or her ex husband is at every teacher conference meeting.  A PTA meeting is very different from a school event or a teacher conference meeting.  That's what parents do.  She doesn't have to go to every fundraiser but she certainly has to be aware of it.  If there's a day off, she does have to make her child a priority.  This does not make her a 'slave'.  It makes her a parent. 

If there is a school event, you should be there.  If you don't want to be, then don't be a parent.  That's not the same as saying as saying you can't.  

 Yeah, I do think Ro did go to every school event that Avery was involved with.  So did Mario.  Again, PTA meeting are extremely different.  Nope.  You don't have to go to those meetings but yeah, you have to go the stuff, like a parent/teacher conference meeting or something that requires your kid to be at.

Edited October 24, 2018 by breezy424
I should never respond from my phone. It loves to auto correct and screws things up.

[Higgins]

NO PTA meeting EVER!!! Sorry, wasn't my thing. I'm a damn good mother who raised three great daughters to successful adulthood.

[Guest]

15 hours ago, Rap541 said:

Are all parents judged this harshly these days? Because I now know why not being a parent was a good choice. Bethenny has a child so... she's a bad mother if she's not at EVERY PTA meeting? She has to attend every single parent teacher conference or else she's a bad mom? She has to go full bore on EVERY fundraiser and if the school has a day off, she needs to leave her work and spend the entire day devoting herself to Bryn? Or else she's a bad mom?

Because seriously, it's a little disturbing how being a parent means being a child's slave or else you're a bad parent. One missed event and you're a bad parent. Any assistance/dropping the kid off at day care instead of taking a day off of work to deal with a school day off. Do people really attend every PTA meeting now? Attend every school event, participate fully in every fundraiser, go to every parent teacher conference?

Because if so, then I had bad parents. 

Like, I know sometimes the insistence that Bethenny do x,y and z or else be called a bad parent is due to dislike of Bethenny, but I see enough parental shaming that I find myself seriously wondering - is this really whats expected? To use a non explosive example - do people really think Ramona attended every school event, went to every PTA meeting, every parent teacher conference? Because I don't see that as likely even though I do think my crazy caviar eating trash panda is a pretty decent mother

 

8 hours ago, Rap541 said:

Never mind, my mistake for asking a general question

Well I agree with you.

Too bad parents are judged by others.

Much like every single person on the planet is judged by others.

Criticism is dead to me.

[Rosiejuliemom]

22 hours ago, breezy424 said:

I don't think she has to go every PTA meeting but she does have to make sure that she or her ex husband is at every teacher conference meeting.  A PTA meeting is very different from a school event or a teacher conference meeting.  That's what parents do.  She doesn't have to go to every fundraiser but she certainly has to be aware of it.  If there's a day off, she does have to make her child a priority.  This does not make her a 'slave'.  It makes her a parent. 

If there is a school event, you should be there.  If you don't want to be, then don't be a parent.  That's not the same as saying as saying you can't.  

 Yeah, I do think Ro did go to every school event that Avery was involved with.  So did Mario.  Again, PTA meeting are extremely different.  Nope.  You don't have to go to those meetings but yeah, you have to go the stuff, like a parent/teacher conference meeting or something that requires your kid to be at.

My husband is damn-near clueless when it comes to our daughters' school events unless I mark dates on the kitchen calendar and remind him. That is why I keep track of it all. I may not remember a five-item grocery list, but I do know how to keep track of the conferences, chess club, cello lessons, concerts, plays, etc. That alone helps me keep track of what day it is. I have to give him credit, though, even if he has to come on his lunch break, he is always there. Every single time.

 

I would hope that Bethenny and Jason can put their animosity aside for school events.

17 hours ago, Higgins said:

NO PTA meeting EVER!!! Sorry, wasn't my thing. I'm a damn good mother who raised three great daughters to successful adulthood.

I avoid the PTA whenever possible. Some of the PTA parents at my daughters' school are frightening. They were planning college essays when the kids were in Kindergarten. I get being prepared, but when mine were that age, I was proud if they managed to not spill milk down their fronts during breakfast.

[AnnA]

On ‎10‎/‎23‎/‎2018 at 6:20 AM, Higgins said:

NO PTA meeting EVER!!! Sorry, wasn't my thing. I'm a damn good mother who raised three great daughters to successful adulthood.

 

10 hours ago, Rosiejuliemom said:

 

I avoid the PTA whenever possible. Some of the PTA parents at my daughters' school are frightening. They were planning college essays when the kids were in Kindergarten. I get being prepared, but when mine were that age, I was proud if they managed to not spill milk down their fronts during breakfast.

 

My sons are both adults now but when they were in school I initially thought getting involved in the PTA would be a good idea.  I went to one (ONE) meeting and vowed to never return.  The room was filled with clueless wanna be teacher parents.  I disagreed with everything they were saying and decided NOT returning was the best thing I could do for my sons.

[glowbug]

A parent’s inclination or ability to go to PTA meetings or other optional school activities does not make them a good or bad parent. Parent/teacher conferences and back to school night aren’t really optional although you aren’t supposed to bring your child to those so I know low income parents who can’t afford childcare or to take off work who have missed those and I don’t fault them (obviously not an issue in Bethenny’s case). I would expect her to go to most school plays/talent shows/etc. that Bryn is involved with. If either parent has to miss one here or there I wouldn’t fault them though. Sometimes things come up so as long as Bryn has transportation to the event then I wouldn’t judge. Hopefully the other parent can be present if one of them can’t be. 

I have no desire to be on the PTA but I fully intend to be involved because I experienced discrimination in school because my mom, a single working parent, couldn’t be an active member. But I wish I didn’t have to because it’s really not my thing. I definitely won’t be volunteering for any leadership positions. 

Again, my poor opinion of Bethenny’s parenting comes from her inability put her daughter’s needs before her own regarding custody. The custody battle in and of itself is psychologically damaging to a child, and if she wins and Jason has reduced contact then Bryn is hurt as well (based on all available information). I would say the same thing if Jason was the one dragging Bethenny to court over custody. Until there is some evidence that either of them is damaging their child by being in her life then they both should be able to see Bryn as much as they can. I also think it is incredibly selfish of Bethenny to speak negatively about Jason publicly. Bryn will one day be able to hear/read about all of these things Bethenny has been saying about her father, and that is damaging to the child. 

Edited October 25, 2018 by glowbug

[Celia Rubenstein]

16 hours ago, glowbug said:

Again, my poor opinion of Bethenny’s parenting comes from her inability put her daughter’s needs before her own regarding custody. The custody battle in and of itself is psychologically damaging to a child, and if she wins and Jason has reduced contact then Bryn is hurt as well

 

I think allowing a child to be unduly exposed to a parent whose behavior is negligent or harmful is likely to be much more damaging to a child in the long run than a custody fight might be. So if Bethenny has legitimate reasons to believe Jason should have less contact with Bryn, it behooves her as a parent to take action. 

It doesn't seem like the judge is very impressed with Jason's approach to the case lately and has said so in open court. He's shown himself to be rather manipulative and inconsistent, which reflects very poorly on him.  I wonder what he must be like to deal with as a co-parent when he can't even be reasonable in court.  If it's shown that he makes the same kind of ridiculous demands and accusations when dealing with Bethenny about Bryn that he's made in court, it may well end up costing him.

[Mrs peel]

21 hours ago, Celia Rubenstein said:

I think allowing a child to be unduly exposed to a parent whose behavior is negligent or harmful is likely to be much more damaging to a child in the long run than a custody fight might be. So if Bethenny has legitimate reasons to believe Jason should have less contact with Bryn, it behooves her as a parent to take action. 

It doesn't seem like the judge is very impressed with Jason's approach to the case lately and has said so in open court. He's shown himself to be rather manipulative and inconsistent, which reflects very poorly on him.  I wonder what he must be like to deal with as a co-parent when he can't even be reasonable in court.  If it's shown that he makes the same kind of ridiculous demands and accusations when dealing with Bethenny about Bryn that he's made in court, it may well end up costing him.

I don't agree with the latter.  First, IMO the Judge should be a bit more careful with pre-judging Jason's request on the drug testing.  She was practically engaged to a guy who died of a drug overdose, and she's acted erratically in the recent past.  It's not a complete reach to question drug use - and without the court case, Jason would have no way of demanding a drug test.  The trial is months away, he certainly had time to file his own petition to change custody IF a drug test showed a problem.  Filing for a change based on the "possibility" she's using drugs would be a mistake.

I agree that exposure to a negligent or harmful parent is worse than a custody fight.  But at the moment there is no evidence that either is that.  We basically have two people who can't communicate with each other, and at least one (possibly two) who make everything overly dramatic.  None of that is good for the child.  The adults need to get their acts together, because the child should have access to two people she loves (and really 4, since I seriously doubt B would facilitate a relationship with the child's paternal grandparents if Jason didn't have a lot of visitation/custodial time).

[glowbug]

23 hours ago, Celia Rubenstein said:

I think allowing a child to be unduly exposed to a parent whose behavior is negligent or harmful is likely to be much more damaging to a child in the long run than a custody fight might be. So if Bethenny has legitimate reasons to believe Jason should have less contact with Bryn, it behooves her as a parent to take action. 

It doesn't seem like the judge is very impressed with Jason's approach to the case lately and has said so in open court. He's shown himself to be rather manipulative and inconsistent, which reflects very poorly on him.  I wonder what he must be like to deal with as a co-parent when he can't even be reasonable in court.  If it's shown that he makes the same kind of ridiculous demands and accusations when dealing with Bethenny about Bryn that he's made in court, it may well end up costing him.

But if being with either parent was harmful or damaging to Bryn there would be evidence of that. Bethenny’s own lawyer said Bryn is thriving and doing well in school. The forensic psychiatric evaluator said neither Jason nor Bethenny was harmful to Bryn and recommended that custody remain the way it is. When one parent is emotionally harming a child (I don’t think physical abuse or neglect is in question here with either of them) there are signs of the abuse in every case I’ve encoubtered and I’ve encountered quite a few as a social worker. If Jason had filed for full custody and/or had been blabbing to the press about how awful Bethenny is I would be saying the same about him. I’m not on Jason’s side here. I’m on Bryn’s side. I just don’t think one or both of her parents are. 

[Celia Rubenstein]

On 10/26/2018 at 11:03 AM, Mrs peel said:

First, IMO the Judge should be a bit more careful with pre-judging Jason's request on the drug testing.  She was practically engaged to a guy who died of a drug overdose, and she's acted erratically in the recent past.  It's not a complete reach to question drug use

Maybe the judge had no respect for the fact that Jason only demanded that Bethenny be drug tested after it was clear things were not going his way in court and he was desperately grasping for a way to undermine Bethenny's position. Because if he had sincere concerns about Bethenny's drug use he should have brought an action on his own and not held the idea in reserve to use when/if things didn't go his way in front of the judge.

It's all about credibility. And Jason appears to have very little in the judge's eyes. I can understand why.

 

On 10/26/2018 at 11:03 AM, Mrs peel said:

 I agree that exposure to a negligent or harmful parent is worse than a custody fight.  But at the moment there is no evidence that either is that.

 

We have no evidence of anything at all at this point, actually. I was merely addressing the notion that a custody battle is uniquely harmful ... I happen to believe there are things which are just as bad, if not worse. I was not suggesting anything has been proven at this point.

 

On 10/26/2018 at 11:03 AM, Mrs peel said:

We basically have two people who can't communicate with each other, and at least one (possibly two) who make everything overly dramatic

I suspect the drama is pretty evenly divided ...  Bethenny's antics are well known, but let's not forget Jason's email harassment campaign or the hissy fit he threw at his daughter's school that earned him a restraining order, lol. He's not wrapped any tighter than she is. 

Edited October 28, 2018 by Celia Rubenstein

[QuinnM]

2 hours ago, Celia Rubenstein said:

Maybe the judge had no respect for the fact that Jason only demanded that Bethenny be drug tested after it was clear things were not going his way in court and he was desperately grasping for a way to undermine Bethenny's position. Because if he had sincere concerns about Bethenny's drug use he would have surely brought an action on his own and not held the idea in reserve to use when/if things didn't go his way in front of the judge.

It's all about credibility. And Jason appears to have very little in the judge's eyes. I can understand why.

It’s taken a while for me to have this very important conversation with my lawyer friend.  So here is what is going on.  The judge has seen all the documentation from the stalking, harassment charges that Hoppy had leveled against him.  Now the judge has Hoppy coming into court because he had some whining complaint that Bethenny had too much fun on a Saturday night.

Often this happens with divorce cases.  One of the participants becomes belligerent and vows to make his (her) ex’s life a living hell.  Then they get arrested.  Then they get probation.  Their attorney says, dude you do it one more time and you’ll lose custody.  So he starts using the court to harass the ex.  Judges do not like the system being used as a weapon by some ex who just wants to punish his ex.  Judges think their time is better spent protecting people with real problems.  So this judge was laying it down.  He was saying to Hoppy, don’t come in here and use the system to do what you personally are no longer able to do.  This system is for real issues.  It is not for your petty ego driven vendetta with your ex.

And from what the judge said, on the record, he wants Hoppy to act like a Elsa and let it go. 

[Rosiejuliemom]

49 minutes ago, QuinnM said:

 This system is for real issues.  It is not for your petty ego driven vendetta with your ex.

Maybe the judge should say it to Bethenny as well.

[jinjer]

Hey as a former PTA president and was very very active as a stay at home parent, Bethenny is the last person I would want to see walk into a meeting. FWIW, I never got involved with the teachers in the classrooms. We raised a shitload of money for the school to buy computers and books and gave grants to the teachers so they could buy supplies for the rooms. We had complaints from some PITA parents about parents who wouldn't volunteer, but my thoughts were always if you were working, you didn't have the time - everyone participated in the way they could either by participating in fundraisers or doing everything in the one day they would take off to do things in school. Bethenny would drive everyone nuts - parents teachers and administrators - just write the check and let everyone be.  She would tell us all how we did everything wrong, how she would do it better etc. I would like to see her go up against some of the more aggressive helicopter moms though.  It could be funny. 

[Gem 10]

On 10/22/2018 at 4:24 PM, Rap541 said:

Are all parents judged this harshly these days? Because I now know why not being a parent was a good choice. Bethenny has a child so... she's a bad mother if she's not at EVERY PTA meeting? She has to attend every single parent teacher conference or else she's a bad mom? She has to go full bore on EVERY fundraiser and if the school has a day off, she needs to leave her work and spend the entire day devoting herself to Bryn? Or else she's a bad mom?

Because seriously, it's a little disturbing how being a parent means being a child's slave or else you're a bad parent. One missed event and you're a bad parent. Any assistance/dropping the kid off at day care instead of taking a day off of work to deal with a school day off. Do people really attend every PTA meeting now? Attend every school event, participate fully in every fundraiser, go to every parent teacher conference?

Because if so, then I had bad parents. 

Like, I know sometimes the insistence that Bethenny do x,y and z or else be called a bad parent is due to dislike of Bethenny, but I see enough parental shaming that I find myself seriously wondering - is this really whats expected? To use a non explosive example - do people really think Ramona attended every school event, went to every PTA meeting, every parent teacher conference? Because I don't see that as likely even though I do think my crazy caviar eating trash panda is a pretty decent mother

My Mother came to nothing as she worked.  I felt like an orphan.  I only went to open school night, very important meetings and sport nights.  My two daughters are in and out of the car 20 times a day for every little thing.  Their lives revolve around the schools.  It’s too much and ridiculous.  I don’t know how these working moms do it.  I think nowadays, the grandparents are getting stuck with the kids while the Mothers go to work whether they like it or not.  The mothers that don’t work are up in those schools for every little thing.  I personally think Bethenny has one of her assistants go to a few things, and Jason probably goes at night.

[geauxaway]

3 hours ago, Gem 10 said:

My Mother came to nothing as she worked.  I felt like an orphan.  I only went to open school night, very important meetings and sport nights.  My two daughters are in and out of the car 20 times a day for every little thing.  Their lives revolve around the schools.  It’s too much and ridiculous.  I don’t know how these working moms do it.  I think nowadays, the grandparents are getting stuck with the kids while the Mothers go to work whether they like it or not.  The mothers that don’t work are up in those schools for every little thing.  I personally think Bethenny has one of her assistants go to a few things, and Jason probably goes at night.

They are a lot more accommodating these days for working parents.  At least in our district they are.  Nothing happens until 6 or 7 PM, unless it’s a during school event (Halloween and Valentine’s Day class parties, field day).   PTA is a bring you kid event as well, if you want to attend and ours is super chill.  B is all about agendas and delegation.  And she has endless funds.  FFS, I dropped $56 at Walmart this week to fulfill the 4th grade goody bags for the party on Wednesday.  And I am a true single parent.  Me and me alone.  I do not weep for poor poor put out Bethenny.  

She hates Jason, Jason hates her. Greatness.  I do think it is shitty for a judge to publicly state against Jason.  Aren’t they suppose to be impartial?  It’s all so out of whack anyway.  I’d even like to pretend I would care about Brynn, but at this point she’s probably already fucked up.  Way to break the cycle, B.  Seriously, she has all the resources to make the change and instead here we are.

Anyone want to pitch in to get a screen play going for War of the Roses 2:  Bethenny and Jason?  I’m not kidding.  This shit is GOLD, Jerry.  GOLD!  

And to be honest in full disclosure, I expect B to be following close behind Dennis.  She looks worn out AF lately and deservedly so.  She needs to take a break from life and recover.  She has endured  A LOT recently and no human can charge on like she is trying to.  Especially without the support of family (she has none) and very stable friends (questionable).  She is going to die if she does not slow down, recoup, and get healthy.  She is haggard and burned to the bone.  I’m not being hateful, I’m being honest.  BE A HUMAN. 

Edited October 28, 2018 by geauxaway

[ShawnaLanne]

On 10/22/2018 at 11:09 PM, Rap541 said:

Never mind, my mistake for asking a general question

 

I'm a parent, a single one, which both B and J are as well, when they have her. I appreciated the heck out of your post. Me and my ex have no formal agreement. He pays fair child support and see's him once a year. But even if he was more involved, I can see how a person would want sole custody in the sense of making major decisions. For example religious or school. I essentially have that, though I will, if it occurs to me and I think it's something my ex might have an opinion on, ask for his input, but he always defers to me. I'm unsure how I'd react if it we're not the case on a regular basis. 

The real difference, beyond the fact that my ex is a lazy, emotionally distant fuck, is that we were together a long time before having a child, and we have the same basic beliefs and where they don't converge exactly we can compromise. For instance, I believe in God, my ex does not, I wanted to take the kid to church, given how my belief system works I took him to an Episcopalian church, my ex was okay with that, because of how progressive they are, I imagine if it had been a conservative church, he would have had issues. I don't see Hoppy and Frankel having that.

Edited October 28, 2018 by ShawnaLanne

[Gem 10]

12 hours ago, geauxaway said:

They are a lot more accommodating these days for working parents.  At least in our district they are.  Nothing happens until 6 or 7 PM, unless it’s a during school event (Halloween and Valentine’s Day class parties, field day).   PTA is a bring you kid event as well, if you want to attend and ours is super chill.  B is all about agendas and delegation.  And she has endless funds.  FFS, I dropped $56 at Walmart this week to fulfill the 4th grade goody bags for the party on Wednesday.  And I am a true single parent.  Me and me alone.  I do not weep for poor poor put out Bethenny.  

She hates Jason, Jason hates her. Greatness.  I do think it is shitty for a judge to publicly state against Jason.  Aren’t they suppose to be impartial?  It’s all so out of whack anyway.  I’d even like to pretend I would care about Brynn, but at this point she’s probably already fucked up.  Way to break the cycle, B.  Seriously, she has all the resources to make the change and instead here we are.

Anyone want to pitch in to get a screen play going for War of the Roses 2:  Bethenny and Jason?  I’m not kidding.  This shit is GOLD, Jerry.  GOLD!  

And to be honest in full disclosure, I expect B to be following close behind Dennis.  She looks worn out AF lately and deservedly so.  She needs to take a break from life and recover.  She has endured  A LOT recently and no human can charge on like she is trying to.  Especially without the support of family (she has none) and very stable friends (questionable).  She is going to die if she does not slow down, recoup, and get healthy.  She is haggard and burned to the bone.  I’m not being hateful, I’m being honest.  BE A HUMAN. 

Is it crazy to suggest she try to reconnect with her Mother? She is her only family after all.  How can we believe Bethenny was raised by wolves?  Just because she said so?  She desperately needs a support system, someone to talk to and have a little help.  Who else but a Mother?  It’s never too late.  Before it’s too late.

[geauxaway]

1 minute ago, Gem 10 said:

Is it crazy to suggest she try to reconnect with her Mother? She is her only family after all.  How can we believe Bethenny was raised by wolves?  Just because she said so?  She desperately needs a support system, someone to talk to and have a little help.  Who else but a Mother?  It’s never too late.  Before it’s too late.

Totally.  And especially at a time in her life such as this.  Death typically makes us evaluate our lives and take inventory.  Does anyone know how old her mother is?   

[Gem 10]

2 minutes ago, geauxaway said:

Totally.  And especially at a time in her life such as this.  Death typically makes us evaluate our lives and take inventory.  Does anyone know how old her mother is?   

 

2 minutes ago, geauxaway said:

Totally.  And especially at a time in her life such as this.  Death typically makes us evaluate our lives and take inventory.  Does anyone know how old her mother is?   

I’ll look it up.

[Gem 10]

9 minutes ago, Gem 10 said:

 

I’ll look it up.

Bernadette Parsilla Berk is 67 years old and lives in Sunrise, Florida, so it says.  Beth looks exactly like her.  A nice age to be a Grandma for little Bryn.  If only.  That’s right because Bethenny is 47.

Edited October 28, 2018 by Gem 10

[jinjer]

I kind of think Bernadette is unhealthy emotionally and not the person for Bethenny to be connecting with.  I have no reason to doubt Bethenny's stories about her childhood no matter how "privileged" it was. Bethenny is a wreck and her emotional issues came from somewhere.  Bernadette talking with the press instead of with her daughter privately only adds to the problem.  Parisella on the show confirmed the fights and the alcohol abuse.  Bethenny needs good therapy.

[Celia Rubenstein]

1 hour ago, Gem 10 said:

Is it crazy to suggest she try to reconnect with her Mother? 

Yes, actually. It is *crazy. And I would also add that it's dangerous.  

I think we need to remember that not all 67 year old ladies are necessarily warm, benevolent grandmas just waiting in the wings to snuggle and bake cookies with the grandkids. Bernadette is a spiteful, poisonous viper of a woman who showed zero interest in Bryn a while back when Bethenny called her (at Bryn's request - she was curious about her maternal grandmother).  After years of estrangement, Bethenny offered an olive branch by picking up that phone and Bernadette couldn't wait to smugly, coldly dismiss the gesture (in the press, no less).  She's a hateful old bat who roots against her daughter publicly and Bethenny is wise to have dropped the whole thing and moved on.  Bryn has enough drama in her life without Bernadette being part of it. The last thing that kid needs is a grandmother who is an emotional toxic waste dump joining the circus.

Edited October 28, 2018 by Celia Rubenstein
*the idea, not you personally lol

[Rap541]

What Celia said. I am struggling with a toxic parent myself right now - no where near the Berndedette level but just because there's a blood tie, it's not a guarantee that at life's end, all the issues fall away and you have that Hallmark ending where it all ends up ok.

[Normades]

I can't help but think that part of the reason B wants sole custody is so that she can put Bryn on the show.  I hope that Jason retains his 50% of the custody to keep her off.  I feel like these shows are never good for the children and Bryn has already had far too much of her life on the show without appearing.  I can't imagine how awful it would be if she were actually a participant.