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Bethenny & Jason: The Divorce Showdown

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Usually RealityTea is one of those sites that gets of lot of stuff wrong, but I think they're right here.  Bethenny should just settle it out with Jason, but she ain't gonna.  I'm hoping she's gonna have to spill her guts on what she's really worth.

 

http://www.realitytea.com/2014/05/31/bethenny-frankel-advised-to-settle-custody-dispute-with-jason-hoppy-to-avoid-damaging-her-skinnygirl-brand-further/

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Great new topic!  That article said something about proceedings not being sealed due to a legal "misfiling."  Any idea what the error was?  (Assuming the article's right, that is.)  I'd think Bethenny's lawyers would be keen to have the trial sealed, and so it'd be my assumption that they were the ones who made the mistake.  

Edited by OhGromit
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I read somewhere that neither set of lawyers moved to have a closed court. (take that as you will) If true and I were Bethenny or Jason I'd be furious. Bethenny's team is used to high profile cases and should know better. But then again, maybe Bethenny really wants the dirt finally out there on Jason because she sure never seems to miss an opportunity to slam him.

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I've been following her divorce in the local media and I believe the money part is already settled because they had a pre-nup (this part was not made public). Unless he fights that, he already knows what he will be entitled to.  The only thing that they're trying to settle now is the custody piece.  In terms of the facts being public, it really could have been a filing error - the courts here can be that reckless. 

 

Either way, I feel bad for Bryn - her dad is thirsty as hell and her mom is a neurotic narcissist. This can't end well for her. 

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The custody proceedings were not sealed and that is how we are now privy to some of it but the financial settlement is not over, it won't be over for a good while. Jason hired last year a financial forensic expert to trace every single penny made by Bethenny and that can take a long while. Yes, Jason signed a prenup and according to the articles online he has already been offered a settlement of millions of dollars that he has declined. IMO he is the one who before this public proceedings has been leaking a lot of stuff to the press and his intention is no other than to twist Bethenny's arm into settling with him. If Bethenny's prenup is so iron clad as they say, where Jason can't touch any of the past, present or future earnings of anything related to the cocktail line which is the big cash cow, then he might be entitled to a settlement but nowhere as much as he thinks he deserves.

IMO this custody case with his daughter is also another attemp from him to force Bethenny to settle, he knows that her image has suffered a great deal since the separation and was probably hoping that she would be willing to protect it by just giving him money to go away, and by money I mean a lot of it.

I am glad that Bethenny is not taking this kind of blackmail lying down and is willing to give a fight, if I was Bethenny I would not settle with him, not after all the antics he has pulled during this divorce.

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Filing for sole legal custody and primary physical custody from the outset shows exactly who Bethenny is.  Same for not pushing for closed proceedings: it seems to me with her testimony about 'he left pee and poop in the toilets' and other things completely irrelevant to custody, she should have behaved as most high-profile people do and seal the proceedings, but she wanted to put her story out there in the wake of her disastrous talk show.  Even Alec frigging Baldwin did that and he's a raging lunatic.

 

There is no proof whatsoever that this is about money.  If it were about money, Bethenny could call his bluff and offer as equal a custodial situation as NY allows and refuse to pay a penny more than any prenup and let child support negotiations drag.  But she hasn't.  If it were about money, she could have moved to seal things up like a drum and said nothing in public, given a Cheshire cat smile and said, 'Let's see what happens' and let him twist in the wind.  But she hasn't done that either, and has lobbed what she must feel are her best weapons against him in her testimony.  If it were about money, ultimately, she could pay him off to keep THEIR kid all to herself: that's the foundation of that argument.  But there's no evidence that Jason would EVER do that.  Reading what was in run the NY papers, Bethenny has no character witnesses on her behalf; it seems that her whole case was really laid out in her lawyer's opening statement and her testimony.  Maybe that's true, maybe she it isn't.  If she does not settle and is cross-examined, I don't see how she can maintain the idea that she is 'fitter' than Jason as a parent and look to a judge to be the better choice for a primary parent or the parent making all legal decisions.

 

Going back in the day RHONY style, even Alex McCord has changed her tune about Bethenny.  Alex has delivered her message!

 

http://www.naughtybutnicerob.com/people-are-expendable-to-bethenny-frankel-jason-was-a-prop-reveals-alex-mccord/

Edited by Midnight Cheese
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Hello , another TWOP reject here

 

Am I the only one who has ever experienced first hand a guy like Jason Hoppy, seemingly perfect for family and friends but with a really mean side of personality behind close doors?

My ex used to be just like that, at the beginning family and friends gave me the side eye because I am often loud and outspoken and he was just so perfect, always the right thing to say in front of them, it was so frustrating, it was maddening that nobody else but me was seeing that side of him because he was always so careful to never blast me in front of others, only behind close doors, it made me wonder several times if I was losing it, but low and behold when I had enough of him and despite judgment decided to separate he surely showed his true colors.

 

I read about this divorce and from having watch the shows it seems like I am living it all over again. Every single thing that Jason has done during the divorce fits to a T to the profile of what my ex used to do. I am sorry but I am just not buying his poor victimized guy. At least Bethenny was upfront and real about her flaws, and her drawbacks but Jason sure protrayed what now looks like a charade  of a perfect guy. JMO

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Am I the only one who has ever experienced first hand a guy like Jason Hoppy, seemingly perfect for family and friends but with a really mean side of personality behind close doors?

 

 

I never dated a guy like that, but I never bought the Jason is a nice guy act.  I've always seen him as passive aggressive, a manipulator, and a user with a nasty streak.  I don't think he deserves to have his child taken away from him, but I also don't think he deserves millions in Skinny Girl money.  Unfortunately for Bethenny, she's going to have to deal with him for the next 14-15 years, until Bryn is 18.  I wouldn't want to be in her position, but she put herself there so I can't feel too bad for her. 

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I'll be honest I always gave Jason the side eye just because he was marrying Bethenny.

 

I mean what sane person would do that......

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I've not bought the Jason the Nice Guy act, either. Wasn't the story of their meeting something like he was out on a date with another woman, saw Bethenny taking pictures (either by herself or with her girlfriends), and went over to her, saying something like, "You need someone to take the stick out of your ass."? The idea that Jason was just this poor, put-upon schlub of a man who fell off the turnip truck just never rang true to me.

 

He was a nearing-40 man who had lived in the city for a long while, had dated in the city for a long while, had had relationships and sex in the city for a long while. No one can convince me that he wasn't aware or that somehow Bethenny trapped him with her vampy and wicked city woman ways. 

 

As for Alex's thoughts--Lawd! Can that woman sit her ass down somewhere? Ever since she was fired, she's been trying to keep her claws in what ever small scrap of RHONYC news there is. If she isn't sharing "inside" info about production (when really, she's not sharing much, if any, information that a Bravo-aholic like it seems most of us are wouldn't already gleen), she's giving opinions about Bethenny. She's the second coming of Jill who also feels the need to stick her nose in it just to stay relevant. Pobrecita.

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I'll be honest I always gave Jason the side eye just because he was marrying Bethenny.

 

I mean what sane person would do that......

 

 

 

Somebody looking for camera time and easy money. 

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I never dated a guy like that, but I never bought the Jason is a nice guy act.  I've always seen him as passive aggressive, a manipulator, and a user with a nasty streak.  I don't think he deserves to have his child taken away from him, but I also don't think he deserves millions in Skinny Girl money.  Unfortunately for Bethenny, she's going to have to deal with him for the next 14-15 years, until Bryn is 18.  I wouldn't want to be in her position, but she put herself there so I can't feel too bad for her. 

 

Consider yourself lucky. It took a huge hit on my self esteem and it has taken me so many years to undo the emotional damage he inflicted on me, tons of therapy and finally a great guy who has helped rebuilt the pieces of my shattered confidence.

 

My ex was always so charming, he always had the right thing to say to other people, heck that is how I fell for him, so gentle, the knight in shining armor, the one who I confided my most deepest secrets and fears, the one who I thought loved me unconditionally. It all changed when I got a promotion and became part of the administration (we both worked for the same company). He was happy for me but he thought it would entitle him to certain benefits that he was not entiled to, he would make smart remarks about other colleages and spoke badly about them to me but in front of them he was always such a pleasure.

 

Many, many times during the years I heard the "you are such a lucky lady, he is such a great guy" and for the most  part he was, except when he didn't get his way and then this nasty side of him will pop up, the more succesful I became at work, the more and more often his nasty side would show to slam me but he never did it on public or in front of family. In front of everybody else he was the perfect guy.

 

I tried my best to sort of guide him and advice him about the things he needed to do to get a promotion, I figure that if my success bothered him that he probably would be willing to do the necessary sacrificies to get there as well, many times I encouraged him to further his education, many times I spoke with him about doing more than just the minimum, he was wasn't very motivated to go the extra mile. He would refuse to sign in for seminars if that interfered with his bowling league day. It was frustrating. I could do nothing right, everything was an opportunity to get slammed but I kept on going for longer than I should because I had convinced myself that I was the lucky one, that he was such a great guy that I somehow must be the problem, I kept on going because I didn't want to upset the kids with a divorce.

 

I struggled with some emotional issues in the past, he made me think that he accepted me just how I was but during our arguments he would use exactly the ammunition that I had given him in confidence as a weapon against me, he would remind me of my shortcomings, he would rub in my face some of the fears I had talked about and them masterfully would twist it around to make me feel guilty.

 

If I could go back in time and with a rebuilt confidence that I have now, I can see how I should have divorced him  long before I did. I convinced myself that I must be the problem so I had to fix it or endure it. It has taken me a long time of therapy to understand that what he did to me was emotional abuse. His use of my most deepest fears against me to win an argument was emotional abuse.

 

I saw exactly the same pattern between Bethenny and Jason when they were married, he would verbally slam her with his "you are damage, you are unlovable, you are not normal", those in itself were bad enough but when he told her that she would be just like her mother, that her daughter will grow to hate her and she will die alone, that is when I saw myself in that mirror and knew that their relationship was doomed.

 

I spend 13 years of my life trying to fix me to be able to please him and in the process ended up losing my self and my sense of worth for a long time, I am glad Bethenny realized way quicker than me that her relationship was not going to work. When a person uses your deepest fears as weapons to belittle you and win the argument the problem is not yours, it is his.

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See, I don't think Jason was a saint, either, but Bethenny was a hardly a walk in the park. She always came across to me as a self-absorbed, selfish, somewhat manipulative person that would walk all over you if she could. Probably became that way because of her tumultuous early life.

 

My general thought was that when things got tricky in their marriage, Jason had to step up or Bethenny would walk all over him. So while he wasn't the saint he was portrayed on television, he wasn't a wuss either. I think that kind of took Bethenny for a bit of a surprise, actually. She says she wants Mr. Easygoing, but Bethenny will spit up and throw out any easygoing guy that comes across her path. But, then she can't handle the guys that really stand up to her, either, because ultimately she's not the boss.

 

I do believe Jason is entitled to more than what the prenup states. We saw him on the show involved in her business. I do sincerely believe he helped with the sale of her company, along with marketing and distribution. But then I think things became tense because there was too much of a power differential- Jason was working for her. Bethenny was the boss in the company and she wanted to be the boss at home, too.

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AnnaL, very touched to read your story, I see Jason as the manipulative, conniving, ruthless person all under the disguide of a charming guy.

 

IMO he had a plan in mind since he saw Bethenny, he has said myself that he had seen in in RHNY, the way he approached her at that bar, he knew about her insecurities, he knew she was an OCD, high strung person but he also knew that she was longing for love and he played the part of the wonderful boyfriend. His reluctance to sign a prenup should have been the first huge read flag for Bethenny but I am convinced that Bethenny believed the hype of the fairy tale herself and stopped paying attention to a lot of things. Jason was a pharm rep and IMO he knew very well who David Kanbar was, Bethenny had just stroke a partnership with him before they ever met and Jason knew she was going places, I am not saying he married her for her money but I think that Jason was smart enough to see the potential and now is not willing to go away without giving a good fight to get all the money he thinks he deserves.

 

Jason had nothing to do with the conception, the creation, the production or the sale of SGC, absolutely nothing, the conception and the creation were from Bethenny alone, once she wanted to take the cocktail to the next level she partnered up with a well known figure in the alcohol industry David Kanbar, he is the one who invested his time, money and connections to ensure that SGC would be attractive enough for a potential big buyer, this partnership was consolidated before Bethenny and Jason ever met. Jason nothing to do with this, this is all about Bethenny giving the product the exposure and David Kanbar handling the production and lending his name and his cache to make the product viable at mass scale and ready to sell.

 

I am convinced that Jason "helping" Bethenny to figure out the problem in the shortage of distribution was a fabricated story line to showcase the bottling plant in Canada, there is absolutely nothing that Jason could have figured out that Kanbar wasn't able to figure out on his own, IMO it was done 1) To promote the product, 2)showcase the bottling plant in Canada, 3) bust up Jason's wounded ego and make him feel good.

 

There was a link with all the team of negotiators from all parts for this deal, Beam, Kanbar and Bethenny's teams, all of this with high profile negotiators , Jason's name was nowhere in that team, he had nothing to do with that sale and he know it that is why he had to sign the prenup. Now he wants to have a share of the pie but the bottom line is that Bethenny and her cocktails were going to happen with or without Jason.

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Wow there is a lot of Jason bashing here. I am sure the guy is no saint but he should be able to share in the custody of his daughter. Bethenny always seemed like a deeply unpleasant person. The fact that not one person was willing to testify for her tells you something. Not something good.

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Is it Jason bashing to say that one doesn't believe that Bethenny took him for a ride or that one doesn't believe he's quite the good guy he'd have others believe? Bethenny is a tough nut to crack, to be certain, but acknowledging that Jason also has flaws and that he can be just as petty and manipulative isn't necessarily bashing, is it? 

 

I think that the Bethenny and Jason should definitely share custody of Bryn, but it doesn't mean that I think Jason's a poor, put-upon man, either, who got duped by Bethenny. 

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Hello , another TWOP reject here

Am I the only one who has ever experienced first hand a guy like Jason Hoppy, seemingly perfect for family and friends but with a really mean side of personality behind close doors?

My ex used to be just like that, at the beginning family and friends gave me the side eye because I am often loud and outspoken and he was just so perfect, always the right thing to say in front of them, it was so frustrating, it was maddening that nobody else but me was seeing that side of him because he was always so careful to never blast me in front of others, only behind close doors, it made me wonder several times if I was losing it, but low and behold when I had enough of him and despite judgment decided to separate he surely showed his true colors.

I read about this divorce and from having watch the shows it seems like I am living it all over again. Every single thing that Jason has done during the divorce fits to a T to the profile of what my ex used to do. I am sorry but I am just not buying his poor victimized guy. At least Bethenny was upfront and real about her flaws, and her drawbacks but Jason sure protrayed what now looks like a charade of a perfect guy. JMO

No! Jason is a type of asshole you find a lot in middle class Gen X guys. I call this the Ross Geller guy. He's a passive agressive, immature guy with a ton of hidden anger that's used to being the focus of attention. He blames all his past failures with women on women not liking "nice" guys and all his career failures on being "too smart". Nothing is ever really this guy's fault. Once he gets into a long term relationship he will resent any situation where his girlfriend shines outside of him because he can not cope with not being the center of the universe. When he feels insecure he can become sneaky and mean.

From Jason's first season of TRHONY I called him as a Ross Geller. Never liked the guy at all. Not that I think Bethanny would be easy to be married to. I do think the Ross Geller type feeds into Bethany's issue so I'm not surprised she ended up with one. This settlement could go on for a long time because Bethanny is a brawler who had trouble walking away from a fight and Jason's the type of guy who expects a damn parade every time he's not a huge asshole. He'll want a payoff every time he manages to get through a day without leaking nude photos of Beth and she won't want to give him any money at all.

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Saying that you think someone is a money grubbing disingenuous fake who doesn't deserve a dime is kinda sorta bashing. I doubt that people would say that if it was a woman instead of a man asking for a bigger piece of a big pie. Maybe not.

 

I don't know who is actually at fault here. I don't think anyone who is not actually present in a marriage actually knows. But if I had to wager I would put my money on Bethenny.

 

The money issue is easily solved by the prenup and the judge will rule accordingly. What is relevant here is the demand for sole permanent custody. I wouldn't give  Bethenny sole permanent custody of a house plant. But that's just me.

 

And everyone else that knows her since it seems that no one who actually knows her in real life will testify in her behalf.

Edited by Trooper York
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I doubt that people would say that if it was a woman instead of a man asking for a bigger piece of a big pie. Maybe not.

 

 

 

I certainly would, I don't see how Jason contributed anything to Skinny Girl and therefore deserves any money.  I've been married for 10 years and I don't feel entitled to my husband's paycheck, he works for his money and I work for mine.  Jason can work for his own money, but it seems to me that he would rather hitch his ride to the Bethenny gravy train, and I can't get behind that no matter the gender.

Edited by shoegal
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Hello , another TWOP reject here

 

Am I the only one who has ever experienced first hand a guy like Jason Hoppy, seemingly perfect for family and friends but with a really mean side of personality behind close doors?

My ex used to be just like that, at the beginning family and friends gave me the side eye because I am often loud and outspoken and he was just so perfect, always the right thing to say in front of them, it was so frustrating, it was maddening that nobody else but me was seeing that side of him because he was always so careful to never blast me in front of others, only behind close doors, it made me wonder several times if I was losing it, but low and behold when I had enough of him and despite judgment decided to separate he surely showed his true colors.

 

I read about this divorce and from having watch the shows it seems like I am living it all over again. Every single thing that Jason has done during the divorce fits to a T to the profile of what my ex used to do. I am sorry but I am just not buying his poor victimized guy. At least Bethenny was upfront and real about her flaws, and her drawbacks but Jason sure protrayed what now looks like a charade  of a perfect guy. JMO

 

Indeed I have.  Been there, done that.  Unfortunately, I had a lot of baggage going in, just like Beth.  He removed me from my family, friends and kept me waiting for him at home.  He wanted to visit his family in another state every weekend too.  He learned just enough about me to get sufficient ammunition to destroy me.  He lied to me about things that my parents told him.  When I announced the divorce (after 7 years of marriage counseling), he bee-lined to my parents to try to convince them I had a psychotic break and needed treatment. When I refused, I received threatening anonymous letters, and phone calls from my mother "negotiating" a reconciliation with my soon-to-be ex.  No one could believe my "oh so perfect husband" was capable of what I alleged.  He had me so in his clutches, I doubted myself the whole way through the proceedings.  Happily, we had no children to drag through this - my heart goes out to little Bryn... this will be really tough for her.  My condolences to you and others who have suffered this kind of heartache. 

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Saying that you think someone is a money grubbing disingenuous fake who doesn't deserve a dime is kinda sorta bashing. I doubt that people would say that if it was a woman instead of a man asking for a bigger piece of a big pie. Maybe not.

I don't know who is actually at fault here. I don't think anyone who is not actually present in a marriage actually knows. But if I had to wager I would but my money on Bethenny.

The money issue is easily solved by the prenup and the judge will rule accordingly. What is relevant here is the demand for sole permanent custody. I wouldn't give Bethenny sole permanent custody of a house plant. But that's just me.

And everyone else that knows her since it seems that no one who actually knows her in real life will testify in her behalf.

I think you're right about that. Everyone expects a woman divorcing a rich man to get a nice settlement. Why shouldn't a man divorcing a rich woman?

I've been married almost 30 years, and I do think of my husband's check as my property and he of my check. I'm old-fashioned enough to think the marital property should be split 50/50 in the unfortunate event of a divorce.

I can't get behind Bethenny wanting sole custody. It's all about control with her. Never could stand her.

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I mean even Charles Manson had people who would show up in court to support him. Seriously.

 

Good old Bethenny can't scare up the odd nanny or co-worker or distant cousin or in-law or out law to stop by to say what a great Mom she is and that she should have sole custody. Why do you think that is?

 

Because Jason is a jerk?

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I think that ultimately there is where Jason and his legal team have done an excellent job in creating the illusion that Bethenny wants sole custody which means to erase Jason from Bryn's life. Nothing is furthest from the truth. I lived and got divorce in the state of NY and the child custody laws are much more complicated than anywhere else (in my experience) . AnnaL, I also got a Jason on my path and so he had portrayed as such a good guy that I also got taken for a ride. By the time I realized about 7 years have gone by, so I requested for divorce. Being that he was a good parent I went to my lawyer's office with the idea of requesting for share custody, my lawyer told me that in the state of NY one of the parents have to be named primary custodial parent for physical custody purposes so my divorce petition asked for exactly that, primary physical custody. My ex threw a fit and requested that he had the physical custody of my two kids (mainly because he found out that the non custodial parent has to pay child support.  Being that we both were interested in having primary custody the judge requested the standard phsycological  evaluations, hearings and what not and granted me primary physical custody but our time with the children was split almost evenly, I had them four days and he had them three days, we shared holidays and summer vacations as well.

 

Our divorce was not smooth, despite his perfect facade he was very controlling and couldn't fanthom that I wanted to divorce him so he acted like a major asshole during divorce proceedings so along with the primary custody I also was granted sole legal custody, there was no way that we could agree on anything and the judge realized that.  This never meant that I could do whatever I wanted to do with the children, during his three days he had the kids, during his time, he could do the day to day decisions, during my four days I was in charge of the day to day decisions. Major decisions however had to be communicated and discussed but in the event of a split decision, my say was final. I was told that I couldn't move out of the state without the judge permission.

 

Make long story short, we had this agreement for the fist year after the custody was settled, after that he found himself a girlfriend and got remarried, then the three days he had turned into two days and some weeks it was a day and a half, when he started having kids with his new wife, even more time was taken and now my kids are lucky if they see him once every other week. They are teens by now so they don't care too much. I never requested the original arraigment to be changed so technically if he wanted he could still have the kids from Friday morning to Sunday night with no problem but he has chosen not to and I am okay with that.

 

Bethenny has requested exactly what I was granted: primary physical custody and sole legal custody. My kids had plenhty of time with his dad and so will Bryn if the judge grants her request. I am the mother and there was no way that having the legal ways to do it I would have not requested to be my kids primary custodial parent so I am not going to bash Bethenny for requesting exactly that.

Edited by Wendy
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I doubt that people would say that if it was a woman instead of a man asking for a bigger piece of a big pie. Maybe not.

 

 

I'm going to say maybe not given that Sonja is on this very franchise, and I don't see much sympathy there for her. She squandered her settlement, but something tells me that no one would advocate for her to get any more than whatever was in her pre-nup if we'd met her just as she was divorving Old Man Morgan, or that somehow expect that she'd be more entitled to amounts of the Morgan money that she deems fit. 

 

I just don't think that this is something unique. If the roles were reversed and Jason were the one who had that kind Jim Beam of sale under his belt and Bethenny the sales rep-slash-fitness instructor, I don't think people would feel kindly toward her expecting more than what she signed in the pre-nup. After all, the term "gold digger" is routinely used against women more than it is against men. 

Edited by Mozelle
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I don't know. A lot of people like to "bash" Don of Orange County when he went after Vicki for spousal support. Most people here seem to think a man does not deserve any money in a divorce and he should go out and make his own way and the wife gets to keep all of hers and half of his.

 

If a man stays home and takes care of the kids and is the primary emotional support and caregiver and not out earning all the money he should get a fair recompense. It is a new world. Different rules than in 1950.

 

I also think it is unwise to project your personal experiences onto people you only know from a TV show.

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A lot of people like to "bash" Don of Orange County when he went after Vicki for spousal support.

 

I don't believe Donn was awarded spousal support in the end.

 

That being said, Vicki was married to Donn when she began her business and obviously he helped to contribute to her ability to build it, by working to support her as she developed her business and I'm sure helping to wrangle the kids, cook, and other things.

 

Had Donn been awarded spousal support, I would have totally been okay with that.

 

I can't equate the Donn/Vicki divorce to the Jason/Bethenny divorce at all, except they're both Bravo-lebrities.  It's a totally different set of circumstances.  

Edited by Persnickety1
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Good old Bethenny can't scare up the odd nanny or co-worker or distant cousin or in-law or out law to stop by to say what a great Mom she is and that she should have sole custody. Why do you think that is?

 

I don't know why that is or even if that is, since the only reference I've found to it is from an anonymous source who is feeding Radar Online information, for all I know, that's coming from someone within the Hoppy legal team.  I am not sure about the requirements or restrictions on who can testify, if it has to be someone who has regular contact with the child or cannot be employed by either Jason or Bethenny. I think it's pretty clear that Bethenny has stated that she does not have a close relationship with her mother and stepfather, or even any contact, and that she doesn't have any family to speak of, so it's not surprising to me.  Is Jason's only ally his parents?  I don't think that's too much of a feather in his cap. 

 

 

Most people here seem to think a man does not deserve any money in a divorce and he should go out and make his own way and the wife gets to keep all of hers and half of his.

 

If a man stays home and takes care of the kids and is the primary emotional support and caregiver and not out earning all the money he should get a fair recompense. It is a new world. Different rules than in 1950.

 

 

 

 

I haven't seen anyone here say that Bethenny should have half of Jason's money.  Did I miss this?  Personally, I think Jason should get exactly what is lined out in the prenup and no more.  I do think there are different rules than it was in the 1950's, when women were not able to earn a living outside the home in a way that was comparable to a man, therefore the power structure and dynamic was different.  Today, there is nothing that keeps one spouse in the home unable to make a living, no one is forced to be the "emotional support" and primary caregiver.  Plus, it's not like Jason stayed home and out of the workforce to raise the children, what is Bryn, four?

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I don't know. A lot of people like to "bash" Don of Orange County when he went after Vicki for spousal support. Most people here seem to think a man does not deserve any money in a divorce and he should go out and make his own way and the wife gets to keep all of hers and half of his.

If a man stays home and takes care of the kids and is the primary emotional support and caregiver and not out earning all the money he should get a fair recompense. It is a new world. Different rules than in 1950.

I also think it is unwise to project your personal experiences onto people you only know from a TV show.

I had a huge amount of sympathy for Donn (even though I never thought he was a great guy), but I think the situations are really different. Donn and Vicki were married a long time (15 years?). Donn had a steady paycheck most of that time that contributed to acquiring community property. I'd bet his paycheck also allowed Vicki to start her insurance business. He was also instrumental in her being cast on the show and all the money that came from that. And CA is a community property state, plus they had no pre-nup. I thought Donn absolutely deserved support. Vicki relied on his emotional, physical, and financial support and assistance during the entire time she was building her estate. Bethanny and Jason were together a very short time (I think 3 years, married 2?). She was already a Bravolebrity and had already started Skinnygirl. Plus they had a pre-nup. I'm not saying Jason isn't entitled to anything, but I don't believe he was really instrumental in the Skinnygirl business. I could see him asking for a piece of any Bethanny Getting Married or Bethanny Ever After money above and beyond what he got paid as a cast-member since there was no show without their marriage. Any speaking tour, book, or product money coming directly from that I think Jason should get 1/2 of. Not that my opinion matters...

I think i'd feel the same way if both Jason and Donn were women. As I said I don't like either of them, although Jason bothers me more. Their situations are just really different. I also think Donn behaved a lot better than Jason. He demanded his fair share and refused to back down, but pretty much stayed out of the mud slinging stuff.

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I think you're right about that. Everyone expects a woman divorcing a rich man to get a nice settlement. Why shouldn't a man divorcing a rich woman?

I've been married almost 30 years, and I do think of my husband's check as my property and he of my check. I'm old-fashioned enough to think the marital property should be split 50/50 in the unfortunate event of a divorce.

I can't get behind Bethenny wanting sole custody. It's all about control with her. Never could stand her.

And you very well should be, you have been married for 30 years, that is almost your whole life. Jason on the other hand was married for only two years and he signed a prenup. I guess I am just confused by the whole fairy tale that Jason is such a wonderful and innocent guy while Bethenny is the horrid bitch who needs to give him 50% of her hard earned money and should agree for him to have the primary custody of  Bryn just because he is a good father.  As far as I can read they both have requested primary custody of their child, the only difference is in the legal custody which I am sure the judge will grant sole custody to one of them being that there is no way they can agree on anything. Giving them shared legal custody would be a nightmare and would end up in more headaches for the judge himself.

 

The Jason who has hacked her personal e-mails, wiretaped her phones to be able to listen to her conversations with her lawyers and even taped the nanny is surely not that guy that was on my TV screen, Jason is a wolf in sheep clothes and he is playing up the custody issue to mascarade his real issue which is the money.

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Wow there is a lot of Jason bashing here. I am sure the guy is no saint but he should be able to share in the custody of his daughter. Bethenny always seemed like a deeply unpleasant person. The fact that not one person was willing to testify for her tells you something. Not something good.

It certainly does.  Bethenny has always impressed me as a self-centered woman who has always had contentious relationships....especially when she is not in control

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Wow, I have to admit I'm surprised by all the negativity about Jason.  I'll put myself out there and say I always thought he was a solid guy, emotionally relatively healthy, and yes more emotionally healthy than Bethenny.  I was a HUGE Bethenny fan, but my feelings about her have waned, including during their continuing reality show-- like when she had a huge meltdown at Jason, with Bryn in her arms.  That sort of drama from Bethenny didn't impress me, especially since she did it in front of their kid.  I thought the therapist that was willing to see Bethenny on camera was a wimp and a sellout for doing so, and that in taping her sessions, Bethenny avoided the opportunity to do the deeper work she needs.  I felt like, in making that choice, Bethenny was deciding to stay addicted to fame rather than face her demons fully.  In fact, I think Bethenny has found herself another loser in this dude she's with now... it's some shirtless trust-fund kid, isn't it, IIRC?  That, to me, speaks to her lack of deep emotional healing, and her persistent immaturity with regard to relationships.  

 

My impression is that the stuff Jason has done post-split has been entirely to preserve his custody rights with Brynn, and has likely been done with advice of counsel (talking about staying in the house-- that if he walked away from living where Brynn lived, he could more easily lose custodial rights).  He always seemed to me like a solid dad.  I admit I don't understand the nuances of some of the legal positions taken by each side with regard to custody requests.  If Bethenny is fighting joint custody, that strikes me as foolish and unfounded.   

 

Okay, those are my thoughts, and it looks like I'm not in the majority on this thread, that's for sure!  I feel like a bucket of chum, and I just dropped myself into a shark's tank.  Go for it, guys, I'm sure you'll have at me.     

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I don't know. A lot of people like to "bash" Don of Orange County when he went after Vicki for spousal support. Most people here seem to think a man does not deserve any money in a divorce and he should go out and make his own way and the wife gets to keep all of hers and half of his.

 

If a man stays home and takes care of the kids and is the primary emotional support and caregiver and not out earning all the money he should get a fair recompense. It is a new world. Different rules than in 1950.

 

I also think it is unwise to project your personal experiences onto people you only know from a TV show.

 

I'm not familair with what happened on Orange County. I only watch this franchise as well as BH and ATL. That said, I don't think we're really disagreeing, or at least, I don't disagree that if Jason were the stay-at-home dad, he should get a fair settlement. It doesn't sound that way, though. Unless he was also playing up the "business man" aspect, he wasn't a stay-at-home dad.

 

What I am saying, I guess, is that it sounds like he's asking for above what he agreed upong when he signed the pre-nup. If that's the case, that's one of my gripes with him. If he signed a document saying that he would accept X amount in the event of a divorce but is asking for X + 15% of Y when Y was never on the table or in the pre-nup, then that isn't cool. 

 

I will reiterate that I hope the custody situation gets squared away because this has to be all so disruptive for Bryn, but I can't get behind Jason asking for more than what he signed. 

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Didn't Bethenny admit on the stand telling Jason that she would take his daughter away from him and he would never see her again? I think they're fighting for control. She just seems to be the type that wanted to have a baby and once she got the baby, wanted the father to step aside. Didn't she also want to move to LA with Bryn? I think this was something that Jason was against since it would limit his contact with her. I don't think there's anything wrong with fighting for custody of your child if the other parent is not willing to work with you. I hope the judge makes them attend family counseling.

 

I also thought he wasn't necessarily fighting for the original sale of Skinny Girl but questioning what she made throughout the marriage via books, tv shows, appearances and things like that.

 

I only watched the first season of Bethenny Ever After, so I missed all this passive aggressive behavior from Jason. He seemed very bland, boring and normal.

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Hello , another TWOP reject here

 

Am I the only one who has ever experienced first hand a guy like Jason Hoppy, seemingly perfect for family and friends but with a really mean side of personality behind close doors?

My ex used to be just like that, at the beginning family and friends gave me the side eye because I am often loud and outspoken and he was just so perfect, always the right thing to say in front of them, it was so frustrating, it was maddening that nobody else but me was seeing that side of him because he was always so careful to never blast me in front of others, only behind close doors, it made me wonder several times if I was losing it, but low and behold when I had enough of him and despite judgment decided to separate he surely showed his true colors.

 

I read about this divorce and from having watch the shows it seems like I am living it all over again. Every single thing that Jason has done during the divorce fits to a T to the profile of what my ex used to do. I am sorry but I am just not buying his poor victimized guy. At least Bethenny was upfront and real about her flaws, and her drawbacks but Jason sure protrayed what now looks like a charade  of a perfect guy. JMO

I totally agree with you. My daughter had a boyfriend that fits this pattern. I think Jason is a weasel. I can picture him doing all the things said and more. I always remember the episode when Bethenny and Skinny a Girl went to Aspen. Jason was constantly trying to embarrass and humiliate Bethenny.

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I always remember the episode when Bethenny and Skinny a Girl went to Aspen. Jason was constantly trying to embarrass and humiliate Bethenny.

 

Isn't that the same episode where they had a disagreement and he said something (paraphrased) "It's not my fault everybody loves me," and she looked askance and replied (again paraphrased) "That's because they don't see the real you that I live with"?  

 

I distinctly remember that comment, and I remember it was a Skinny Girl trip and somewhere cold and maybe snowy, LOL.

 

The comment just stood out in my head because I'd noticed several subtle little things he did that would set her off.  I always felt he knew precisely which Bethenny buttons to push to make her appear crazy(ier) than she already was.  

 

For example, throwing her that birthday party she had adamantly and repeatedly insisted she did NOT want.  It sounds so trivial but, hey, I agree with Bethenny on that one.  Hell, I used to lie and tell co-workers I was a Jehovah's Witness just so they wouldn't embarrass me with those ridiculous office birthday parties and holiday fuckery.  

 

I think Jason was probably a passive-aggressive manipulative asshole as a husband; however, I've never seen or heard anything so far to convince me he would be an unfit father.  I hope they settle this shit soon just to stop the freakshow proceedings for Brynn's sake.

 

BTW, didn't Bethenny name her daughter Brynn to honor Jason's dead brother, Brian?  Maybe she should lob that one out there as a reminder for speculation that she despises Jason's family.  

Edited by Persnickety1
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I have to say I am amazed at how many people dislike Jason because they remind him of their ex-husband or ex-boyfriend or Ross from Friends or something. That dude is carrying a lot of weight for such a bland douche.

 

To tell you the truth I think just about anybody would be a better parent than Bethenny including Gemma Teller or the dead guy in Weekend at Bernie's or Snookie. She has to be among the top ten most unpleasant people ever to be in a reality show. I mean she only beats out Danielle Staub and the Situation.  Why anybody would think that she should be the sole custodial parent and primary caregiver is something that I just don't understand. Especially if you ever saw these shows.

 

But hey waddaygonnado. That's life.

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I have to say I am amazed at how many people dislike Jason because they remind him of their ex-husband or ex-boyfriend or Ross from Friends or something. That dude is carrying a lot of weight for such a bland douche.

 

To tell you the truth I think just about anybody would be a better parent than Bethenny including Gemma Teller or the dead guy in Weekend at Bernie's or Snookie. She has to be among the top ten most unpleasant people ever to be in a reality show. I mean she only beats out Danielle Staub and the Situation.  Why anybody would think that she should be the sole custodial parent and primary caregiver is something that I just don't understand. Especially if you ever saw these shows.

 

But hey waddaygonnado. That's life.

Oops I meant to tap the quote button, not the like button.....not that you don't deserves any likes.

You are misunderstanding the way child custody works in NY. I think they should share custody and I'm sure that's what the court will decide. The primary and physical distinctions are for legal purposes. I also think that they both love Bryn and are each good parents.

It's all the other shit that Jason has been and is pulling that some of us have experienced before. Like the boyfriend that tries to cause pain and trouble after a break up. Or closer to point, the husband that refuses to move out of the same residence and tries to make your life miserable. Or the husband that interferes with you time with your child. Or the husband that leaves disgusting messes, including shit in the toilet for you to find. Not traits of a mature, kind and considerate man, huh?

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I have to say I am amazed at how many people dislike Jason because they remind him of their ex-husband or ex-boyfriend or Ross from Friends or something. That dude is carrying a lot of weight for such a bland douche.

 

To tell you the truth I think just about anybody would be a better parent than Bethenny including Gemma Teller or the dead guy in Weekend at Bernie's or Snookie. She has to be among the top ten most unpleasant people ever to be in a reality show. I mean she only beats out Danielle Staub and the Situation.  Why anybody would think that she should be the sole custodial parent and primary caregiver is something that I just don't understand. Especially if you ever saw these shows.

 

But hey waddaygonnado. That's life.

 

Bethenny will not be sole custodial parent, she has not requested that, she has requested to be the primary custodial parent which translates in the parent with slight advantage of time, my situation was 55/45 time but I have a friend you was named the primary custodial parent and hers was 51/49 deal where their time was split almost evenly. So whether Bethenny gets awarded primary custody or Jason does, the other parent will be very much involved in the child's life. Jason has requested the exact same kind of custody as Bethenny has and nobody seems to have a problem with that.

Legal custody which is the power to made decisions on the child's behalf is where their petitions are different. Joint legal custody only works when both parents have ended the relationship amicably and are friendly enough to be able to communicate and agree on decisions that affect the child. In this case and given how nasty Jason has behaved including his illegal actions of email hacking and taping of private phone conversations, I do believe that the communication is not possible at this point and one of them will be awarded sole legal custody, which also doesn't mean that you can do whatever you want with the child but just have final say to avoid going back to court every month to have the judge settle in trivial things like what kind of after school activities can the child attend.

Jason has requested shared legal custody which given his behavior is a joke, whether the judge believes Bethenny or not is irrelevant. The judge is probably pretty clear that there is no way that Bethenny and Jason can communicate at this point and one of them will have to have sole legal custody. The fact that Jason is playing up the term sole custody as if Bethenny is trying to erase him from Bryn's life is another proof of his manipulative and conniving ways.

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This is obviously a hot-button issue for many.  I could never watch the Bethenny Ever After Show.  I just felt the poison oozing from every pore.  There was such a nasty undercurrent, you knew the relationship was doomed. 

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I would venture to suggest that both sides have planted stories in the press. So to cite what one side said about the other is not very  productive.

 

I think we should take all of these stories and divide by two to get at the truth.

 

It will be interesting to see what the judge will have to say as he views the evidence that we do not have access to watching from the sidelines.

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Going back in the day RHONY style, even Alex McCord has changed her tune about Bethenny.  Alex has delivered her message!

 

http://www.naughtybutnicerob.com/people-are-expendable-to-bethenny-frankel-jason-was-a-prop-reveals-alex-mccord/

Putting aside the fact that I'm embarrassed for Alex every time she writes a blog or comments publicly about her old show or other reality tv shows, I actually agree with her about Bethenny using people as props. I think getting married and year one and two of her marriage was truly all for show - even more so than that dolt Kim Kardashian marrying that even bigger dolt Kris Humphries, who she didn't seem to even remotely like. I don't think Bethenny would have married Jason without a spin-off show in mind, and she probably thought she could just divorce him if it didn't work out (both the show and the marriage), which is exactly what she did. If this is true, then good for Jason for telling her that people and relationships aren't expendable.

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I understood that the reason Jason didn't move out was because he couldn't--- that it might deprive him of some measure of custodial rights with Bryn.  I thought his not moving out was something he did based on legal advice.  Would be interested to hear from a NY family law attorney on this issue, if there's one on these boards.

 

On some of the other evidence of Jason's assholery... I've taken Bethenny's version of his post-split actions with a grain of salt.  The leaving shit in the toilet... I don't know.  Did the toilet just do a non-flush?  Ever had that happen, where you press the handle and nothing happens b/c you didn't press hard enough?  Honestly, I feel like it's so silly to even bring up.  Who literally gives a shit if the toilet wasn't flushed.  You're going to bring that up in court?  For what?  That's threatening?  If so, I've been threatened a LOT, in fact just about every time I've dared to use a gas station restroom.  Anyhow, I just don't know how many of these issues are malicious, explainable, or a reaction to other provocation.  

 

I totally agree, some exes can be crazy.  And scary.  I've had girlfriends whose exes have used their own computers to hack into said girlfriend's email account!  I have gone to get the computer (with another friend) and absolutely hated the dude who did that to her.  

 

I just don't see that kind of crazy in Jason.  Not personally.  

 

During the later seasons of Bethenny Ever After, was he passive aggressive sometimes?  I can see what some of you guys mean when you say that.  Bethenny was also aggressive aggressive to him, on camera, and I always assumed off, as well.  So they were shitty to each other and no doubt it was much worse off camera.  Their relationship was clearly crumbling.  I don't know that it was ever great-- they got pregnant and married very quickly, and it's hard to judge the solidness of a relationship based solely on its honeymoon phase.  But it was more obviously on the rocks during those later seasons.    

 

I used to love Bethenny.  Majorly.  But I've grown skeptical of her, and over the seasons/ years have soured a bit, mostly because I think she's become addicted to fame, and superficial approval of fans. She's brilliant TV, at least brilliant reality TV.  But I don't think she's totally emotionally healthy, and I think she can be vicious in her intimate relationships.  I assume that Bethenny runs to her lawyers and publicist every time Jason says boo, and it goes straight into a new article on Radar.  I assume Jason doesn't have the same press access, and that we don't hear about all the nasty little tidbits Bethenny leaves for Jason.  Lord knows she's capable.  I have no doubt their fights have been nasty on both sides. 

 

That's not to say I think Jason is perfect.  I just thought, during the time he was on the show, that he seemed emotionally solid, and like a pretty good dad.  And I get the feeling he's probably got more emotional stability to offer Bryn than Bethenny does.

 

And so that is my long essay on all things Jason.  

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The Jason who has hacked her personal e-mails, wiretaped her phones to be able to listen to her conversations with her lawyers and even taped the nanny is surely not that guy that was on my TV screen, Jason is a wolf in sheep clothes and he is playing up the custody issue to mascarade his real issue which is the money.

 

OK, I'm not defending Jason, but has any of this been proven -- or is this merely a bunch of junk Beths is throwing against the wall to see what will be believed?  

 

I'm just not getting the Jason hatred on this thread & all this projection to personal boyfriends & husbands.  Seems like many on here are presuming him to the absolute devil.  I'm sorry, but I'm not seeing it.  Do we really know enough about him to make comparisons to crappy boyfriends & husbands?  Uh-oh, is TWOP Howard gonna swoop down & stab me a 1000 times for a "board on board" comment?  Sorry for the insider TWOP'er joke. :)

 

Hey look, if Beths proves in court the guy is a bum & an asshole, then I'm with all of you Jason bashers & haters, for sure.  Until then, I'm not -- um, not yet, at least.

 

Would be interested to hear from a NY family law attorney on this issue, if there's one on these boards.

 

I am an attorney, but not a divorce lawyer.  As I said on TWOP, people going thru a divorce, especially a contentious one involving children, become as familiar with the laws & the system as their lawyers.  And are much more familiar with this area than I am.  The posters who have told of their experiences with divorce have displayed an impressively deep knowledge of the law in this area.

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Wow, I have to admit I'm surprised by all the negativity about Jason.  I'll put myself out there and say I always thought he was a solid guy, emotionally relatively healthy, and yes more emotionally healthy than Bethenny.  I was a HUGE Bethenny fan, but my feelings about her have waned, including during their continuing reality show-- like when she had a huge meltdown at Jason, with Bryn in her arms.  That sort of drama from Bethenny didn't impress me, especially since she did it in front of their kid.  I thought the therapist that was willing to see Bethenny on camera was a wimp and a sellout for doing so, and that in taping her sessions, Bethenny avoided the opportunity to do the deeper work she needs.  I felt like, in making that choice, Bethenny was deciding to stay addicted to fame rather than face her demons fully.  In fact, I think Bethenny has found herself another loser in this dude she's with now... it's some shirtless trust-fund kid, isn't it, IIRC?  That, to me, speaks to her lack of deep emotional healing, and her persistent immaturity with regard to relationships.  

 

My impression is that the stuff Jason has done post-split has been entirely to preserve his custody rights with Brynn, and has likely been done with advice of counsel (talking about staying in the house-- that if he walked away from living where Brynn lived, he could more easily lose custodial rights).  He always seemed to me like a solid dad.  I admit I don't understand the nuances of some of the legal positions taken by each side with regard to custody requests.  If Bethenny is fighting joint custody, that strikes me as foolish and unfounded.   

 

Okay, those are my thoughts, and it looks like I'm not in the majority on this thread, that's for sure!  I feel like a bucket of chum, and I just dropped myself into a shark's tank.  Go for it, guys, I'm sure you'll have at me.     

Great post!  I agree

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I am not sure if Jason was told not to move by his lawyer's advice, possibly. What I am absolutely sure is that if he had decided to move out that in no way or shape would have hurt his custodial battle. I have read many times about the idea of Jason not wanting to move out because he could be accused of abandonment and so he stayed just to not give any ammunition to the other party.

 

My ex was so vindictive that he did some of the underhanded things that Jason is doing now, he did it for many reasons, 1) to bother the heck out of me 2) to get me riled up so I would be an emotional mess in front of the judge. So following my lawyer's advice I was the one who moved out with my child. All my lawyer had to do was to go to the police station, give a notice of my change of address, forward a copy of such new address to his lawyers and to the judge and voila, there was no abandonment at hand. We keep sharing custody until the judge gave me primary custody.

 

Bethenny has moved out and nobody has accused her of abandonment (at least not yet) so I am sure her lawyer has followed the necessary steps to prevent that. Jason could have done the same but obviously he had another plan in mind. He is bound and determined to have that apartment for himself and he is not willing to go back to his one bedroom show size apartment of when he was single, if the judge award the apartment back to Bethenny he will probably trash it beyond recognition, mess up as many fictures as he can and he will get away with it.  

 

I have never said that Bethenny is the victim or the innocent part in this, she has always known that relationships are an struggle for her, she made Jason aware of it, he seemed to accept her as she was and then pretended that she would be different, my problem in this case is with Jason portraying and image of such a gentleman and such wonderful and caring person when given the circunstances is very far from the truth. Jason has been playing the image of poor husband with ring in hand, refusing to let go and in the meantime he was doing all this crap. I am not buying Jason's sainthood.

 

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I have to say I am amazed at how many people dislike Jason because they remind him of their ex-husband or ex-boyfriend or Ross from Friends or something. That dude is carrying a lot of weight for such a bland douche.

 

To tell you the truth I think just about anybody would be a better parent than Bethenny including Gemma Teller or the dead guy in Weekend at Bernie's or Snookie. She has to be among the top ten most unpleasant people ever to be in a reality show. I mean she only beats out Danielle Staub and the Situation.  Why anybody would think that she should be the sole custodial parent and primary caregiver is something that I just don't understand. Especially if you ever saw these shows.

 

But hey waddaygonnado. That's life.

I agree

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I have to say I am amazed at how many people dislike Jason because they remind him of their ex-husband or ex-boyfriend or Ross from Friends or something. That dude is carrying a lot of weight for such a bland douche.

 

To tell you the truth I think just about anybody would be a better parent than Bethenny including Gemma Teller or the dead guy in Weekend at Bernie's or Snookie. She has to be among the top ten most unpleasant people ever to be in a reality show. I mean she only beats out Danielle Staub and the Situation.  Why anybody would think that she should be the sole custodial parent and primary caregiver is something that I just don't understand. Especially if you ever saw these shows.

 

But hey waddaygonnado. That's life.

I have to say I am amazed at how many people dislike Jason because they remind him of their ex-husband or ex-boyfriend or Ross from Friends or something. That dude is carrying a lot of weight for such a bland douche.

 

To tell you the truth I think just about anybody would be a better parent than Bethenny including Gemma Teller or the dead guy in Weekend at Bernie's or Snookie. She has to be among the top ten most unpleasant people ever to be in a reality show. I mean she only beats out Danielle Staub and the Situation.  Why anybody would think that she should be the sole custodial parent and primary caregiver is something that I just don't understand. Especially if you ever saw these shows.

 

But hey waddaygonnado. That's life.

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The moment Bethenny realized Jason was not going to play the the role of Bobby Frankel was the moment the divorce became nasty.

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