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  1. I also think Lauri dedicated herself to being a trophy wife with a focus other gold diggers would envy. Girl knows how to keep her eye on the prize and not get distracted. If you kid is troublesome you wash your hands of him. If your friends are obnoxious you distance yourself. If your tacky reality show makes your new man nervous or shows HIS kids in a bad light you quit. You dress, talk, and think only in ways that please your man. You’re never unpleasant or dramatic. Lauri has only ever wanted to be taken care of and once she locked it down I doubt she would give it up for anything. I’d be really surprised if she engages in any drunken/cheating/dramatic/overspending antics you might see in lesser gold diggers. She should teach a class.
  2. Slade is the worst. I can imagine Joe was anxious to get engaged, but I imagine that had as much to do with Slade’s insistence she become a full time babysitter/sex doll/emotional punching bag as it did with the show. If some guy wanted me to give up my career and move to a random OC track home to take care of his kids he couldn’t be bothered with and spend the rest of my free time stroking his ego I might want some assurances too. He was always awful and condescending and dismissive of her. I never particularly liked Joe but I was on her side regarding who I believed about their relationship.
  3. Is he licensed to practice law in Utah? Someone else brought that up, but I didn’t remember it being mentioned.
  4. The thing about Shane is his sense of entitlement seems so off the chain, I kind of doubt that any of this is really tied to the Bar. Maybe the bar is making it slightly worse (slightly) but I doubt it’s by much. I’m in the middle of writing my doctoral thesis. Work and family and friends know I’m scaling back on some stuff until I’m done, but I, in no way, have the privilege of locking myself in a hole until it’s over. I still have responsibilities that are mine (not my coworker’s or my partner’s or my parent’s or my friend’s) alone. And all the people in my life have shit going on that is just as important as my shit. I still need to go to work and clean my apartment and do the dishes and return text messages and, oh yeah, not treat people like complete shit and expect them to be there when I’m done. It’s called grown up life. Sometimes you have more then one important thing on your plate. I think Shane isn’t passing because he’s never really had to buckle down and do something for himself. He comes across as a spoiled brat who throws temper tantrums when he doesn’t get his way.
  5. I would like to add, we don’t even know that he did. Tamara and Ryan did that vague “he called me racist” thing that could mean a lot of different shit. Just as I have seen my liberal friends be a little quick to condone different opinions as evil, I have seen my conservative friends confuse any push back on their opinions with being called a racist. Did he call Ryan a racist or did he say he thought something Ryan said sounded racist? We only have Tamara and Ryan’s version of events and that holds very little water for me. The whole thing felt like Tamara thought something about this might leak on social media and she wanted to get ahead of it as the good mother making peace in our fractured nation. She’s gross. Also, her running around screaming about getting into the country club. I had no idea anyone cared about country clubs anyone. But good for you Tamara. Live out your trashy lottery winner dreams.
  6. I don’t exactly get their marriage. Did she marry him for money? Did he marry her just to get a wife and kids? That part isn’t so confusing. They wouldn’t be the 1st OC marriage based on transactional convenience (Jenna and Matt. Tamara and Simon. I’m looking at you). I’m just confused about why they’re so bad at it. Did Emily think they were in love? And if so, why? If the marriage is for show, why is Shane so fucking bad at putting on a good face? Why can’t he pass the Bar? I know it’s a very hard test (especially in CA), but seriously? This guy has money and resources to help him. Is he even trying? Is it just an excuse not to be at home? They have a weird, tension filled home.
  7. Is that odd? I don’t have kids so I really don’t know. I remember being left in charge of my younger siblings and cousins all the time at that age. Younger too. This would have been the late 1980s/early 1990s and I do feel like it’s less common now. Is 14 too young to babysit?
  8. I didn’t get the logic of the move either. Maybe it was to get in-state tuition for the UC system? I think 1 year is the residency requirement. Also, I don’t really mind Gina or Emily. I don’t like them exactly, but I don’t hate them more then anyone else. Did they do something last season to earn all the hate? I checked out about half way through last season out of boredom.
  9. One interesting read of Maria’s story is that it mirrors Piper’s. The both committed a crime to please their lover. They both committed a crime out of boredom with their lives. They both took a very long time to see themselves as a criminals instead of a victim. They both though of their crimes a victimless because they don’t really think about the people who are victims of black markets. They’re both smart and quick, but very low in self awareness and emotional intelligence. They both have this way of being very performative about emotional growth in a way that comes across as disingenuous. They both seem unaware of that. If this wasn’t the last season, I could be totally down for some Piper = Maria stuff.
  10. Thank you. OITNB is often vague about the past crimes of the women, but this was the first time they tried to present the actual crime and I got so totally lost in the detail. I think my confusion was not realizing she was in a position to be buying stuff for the store.
  11. After I posted, I remembered about credit card payments! Because really, how many people are paying for $150 jeans in cash? You have to assume at least half of the people (probably more, but I'll be generous) would pay with a debit or credit card. How exactly was Maria re-routing those to her account in a way that wouldn't look super sketchy. This whole scam seemed like something from the early 1980s when a lack of debit cards and computerized register and inventory systems would make all of this sort of logical. Sort of. If you squinted. But the show starts around 2013. Even if you fan wink that she got a very long sentence and was somewhere in the middle of a 10 year sentence she still would have gone to jail sometime after 2005-ish. That just makes no sense at all.
  12. Thank you! I had so many logic problems with this. It seemed like she was working as the manger of some sort of mid-level boutique in a mall. I mean I laughed at Maria feeling “rich” in Guess, but I think it was there to signal that this isn’t exactly an exclusive shop. And Maria was the manager right? Not the owner? So how would this scam even work. The simplistic way is to put the jeans out and when someone buys them ring it up as No Sale and pocket the money. That’s all fine and good, but she’s have to pretty much be there all the time. What was she doing when she wasn’t at work. Just letting the other sales girls ring up the sale as normal and lose the money to the register? What was she doing about corporate inventory? Hiding the real jeans in her apartment and doing...something with them? And why? Of all questions why? Why not just sell them at flea markets or on the internet? Why even complicate things by involving the store and computerized cash registers and corporate inventory reports and security cameras and everything else? I get Maria was supposed to be really low in emotional intelligence (as evidenced by her instance her crimes didn’t hurt anyone), but is she also supposed to be lacking in logistical intelligence? As for her sentence. It seemed (although I don’t remember what it actually was) long to me too. I can only think something happened to influence her getting the max. Maybe she had priors or didn’t know enough to roll on anyone. Something like that.
  13. Yup. That’s where I’m going with it too. Candice really seems to be trying to draw a map that goes Michael ➡️ Attracted to men ➡️ Nor attracted to Ashley ➡️ Not trying to have a baby ➡️ some reason this is a problem. I honestly don’t get the last part but whatever. Michael and Ashley are gross for many reasons. IMO, the particulars of their sexuality isn’t one of them. I get a bad feeling from White Chris. There’s something off about him. I feel like he and Candice’s mom are gaslighting her in someway. He does not seem at all anxious to help Candice establish boundaries with her mom. He seems very anxious to make sure he stays on mom’s payroll. That whole family is creepy AF. And as horrible as Candice is (and she is) I feel like she’s getting manipulated by her family. It’s really uncomfortable to watch. Robyn, girl, sweetie, angel. You are in year 4 of a reality show in which you only talk about your Schrodinger’s Cat of a marriage. All day, every day you sit in front of a Bravo camera and try to explain how your marriage both exists and does not exists depending on the time of day and how mad your are at Ashley. You know what would have been a good time for some honesty with your kids? ANY FUCKING TIME IN THE LAST 4 YEARS! What the hell? Is she serious with this shit?
  14. I don’t mind the flashbacks as a general concept, but I don’t get what the writers are trying to tell us with then that we didn’t already know. Smurf has a long criminal past? Smurf uses sex as a come up? Smurf is nuts? I feel like we knew all that already. If they want to keep going I need new information. Maybe all the different Dads? Although, assuming Pope and Julia are supposed to be around the same age as SH, we’re still several years away from them being born.
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