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film noire

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  1. Ramona: Did Leah just say she let a witch? Stick a rock? In her vagina? Sonja: I always insert a Swarovski when I wear my jitney diaper. Luann: Something rock hard in my rose. Hmm. Doesn't sound so bad. Dorinda: STEP ASIDE YOU LOW-RENT BITCHES I SERVED RYE ON THE ROCKS TO HILLARY AND BISHOP DESMOND TUTUOLA. Elyse-watching-at-home: I could stick Plymouth Rock up there during the Superbowl and nobody would even notice. Tinsley-watching at-home: The only rock I want is on my ring finger - see ya at the reunion, ladies!
  2. ...eggs a la Vagsaise ; ) I knew Dorinda was toxic, but my god - leave the shit-stirrer home to shit her bed, and the show suddenly takes flight. No blind-drunk screaming. No aggressive physical posturing like an enraged gorilla in the wild. No wet-lipped, vodka-soaked mumbled sentences composed of random vowels and consonants. Just Luann drinking a margarita the size of Sonja's bidet, Ramona revealing her age (at least the decade, if not the year!) and Leah french-kissing the French Canadian (instead of frantically grinding and thrusting and dry-humping - well, everything). Without Dorinda, this group is actually...fun to watch. They have chemistry. They click in interesting and odd ways. More, please.
  3. ....oh oh oh can I be the outlier?? I actually agree with Jel (but I'm still an outlier!) and I wonder if your analogy isn't a fair comparison (as in, these women aren't friends/mutual friends). Imagine your dinner-among-friends is actually a working dinner in a vicious corporate culture - Succession meets Escape From Bitch Mountain - with you being one of the corporate stars. And imagine you know the work culture is to bait and destroy the most popular employees. And you look up from your dinner, only to realize that the same people who have been reviled and loathed on social media for over a year (what we here at the the PrimeTimer Head Office refer to as The Accuntability Crowd) are out to get you. Knowing that video of you responding will be edited, misrepresented & replayed until the end of time, do you: 1) Demand every ugly accusation be listed, in great detail. 2) Immediately discount the credibility of the subhuman weasel providing those ugly details to your co-worker. My attack will be focused on the liar, not the lies. Gossip is in the details, and letting them repeat what's already been said in another scene only gives Bravo-Bravo-Bravo more tape to play with, Teddi more screen time, the discussion more oxygen, and Brandi more credibility, not less.
  4. At this point, I think there's repetitive stuff from all of them, including Leah. By the ninth/tenth episode, she'd already established her pattern: behave badly, act indignant when called out, act out even further, give a talking head blaming the person she aggressed against. Same shit, different episode. And I say that having liked her initially, but the Leah Loop set in so fast, I can predict what she'll do in every situation. And since her reactions are a mix of the worst RHoNY tropes (get drunk, scream, behave badly, be snarky in a talking head to cover your messy ass, show no self awareness, take no responsibility ) it doesn't feel fresh. It's like they cloned her, instead of found her. But I'm glad you enjoy her (genuine, not snide) because in this hot and brutal summer of Covid, it's been a 'mindless' tv loss for me watching RHoNY go rinse/repeat. Of all years, this is the season I wish the new cast member had brought something new.
  5. Hapless doesn't mean lacking deliberation (Ramona's got plenty of that! ; ) it means ill-fated/ luckless - god knows, Moaner seeking out rich men looking for hot trophy wives is about as ill-fated a venture as possible. The chance of Ramona making a connection in that dating pool is next to nil, imo. And unlike Sonja (who I think would be perfectly happy with a 102 year old man if he gave her financial freedom) Ramona seems to want a real relationship. She'd be better served looking for a man she likes, and leave the worrying about whether he's after her money/scared of her independence/blah blah etc until a few dates in. I think texting a black man "U hate me cus I’m white" just because he doesn't want to date you, is in a class all its own. She also tried to publicly destroy his reputation, calling him "arrogant, rude, D-list and disrespectful" and a woman-hater until he provided the texts, proving Leah a liar. This comment about Michael Che is from her "Improper Etiquette" 2017 podcast: “You don’t know me, you don’t know nothing about me, you don’t know we have mad friends in common and like, you’re gonna treat me like some stupid bitch? Like f–k you. I just can’t deal.” I quote it because to me, that sounds a lot like Leah's Ramona-rants (You don't know me, you know nothing about who I am, how dare you judge me, etc ) so maybe Leah's the issue, not the person-du-jour she's attacking. We weren't subjected to the intimate details of Mario's affair on the show - surprisingly, Ramona kept her dignity intact on that front, and even faced down Andy Cohen at the reunion - but we talked about it plenty in the forums, especially when it seemed to shape Ramona's behavior in an episode. It's all grist for the RHoNY mill! (or mist for the grill, if Ramona were writing this ; )
  6. I'll take Moaner's hapless dating over Leah accusing Michael Che of being a racist, just because he didn't want anything to do with her messy ass. That is some low fucking shit to pull.
  7. Me, neither, Ms Blue Jay. To fly to Italy and eat sushi instead of the local food seems demented to me. Guess Kyle only eats Italiano at a Buca di Beppo. ~for that authentic chain restaurant flavor!
  8. I agree - she was proportional, trim, and athletic. She top-heavied a good figure with those insane implants.
  9. Leah tiki-trashed Ramona's backyard, tried to trash Ramona's dinner party, pissed on Ramona's request re: her birthday party - and has now taken to chasing Ramona through restaurants like Wily Coyote after the RoadRunner - when your own behavior is so jacked you make Ramona Singer look like the sane one, it's time to fucking check yourself. And Ramona made her boundaries clear, from jump: she objected to discussion of any "body parts" at the table (not just pussies and tigers and bears, oh my!) The back and forth started when I-Gotta-Be-Meah shared the oh-so-charming idea of drinking tap water to induce a personal shitsplosion. (Which, what the fuck? In what world is that considered festive dinner conversation? - I want to see the beach at sunset! I want to buy beautiful art! I want to turn my ass into a boiling hot volcano of fecal matter! - if I have to battle through the image of your diarrhea-stained anus, even as my dinner is set down before me, we're not on vacation, we're trapped in some hellscape where Drunkinda is seconds away from going prison matron on Moaner - revealing the true nature of her increasingly passionate obsession with Ms Singer! - and then - well then, we're all shitting ourselves, aren't we?)
  10. That is one scary home - Motel 6 (astroturf!) meets the site of a 90s cult suicide ("The Accuntability community took the 600 calorie drink, believing the spaceship would soon arrive with their younger, firmer bodies - all too soon, their laughter turned to tears..." )
  11. Fucking Teddi. You just know Teddi is the friggin' Karen of body shaming (Officer? I saw a woman who does not fit into a size zero eating barbecue in the park? And she doesn't seem to be sending a photo of her food to anyone? HELP ME!! I FEAR FOR MY LIFE!!) At this point, I don't care if Denise dry-humped Brandi's infamous tampon, I just want Rinna & Kyle shamed & humiliated for being the worthless fucks who ruined this show. ~ I also really want Dorit to say "Where 's the nearest dog dumping place? " en Italiano ("Scuse! Where-a the doggalini dumpeo??")
  12. From Leah's 2016 essay on Hypebae about her "love affair with my Bipolar II disorder": "I turned a dark corner when my hypomania got out of control and became dangerous. It was so hard to see that I was out of control. I felt charming, seductive. I swear I even feel like during these elated times I look sexier and prettier. I was sexually insatiable, I spent a lot of money I didn’t have, and I was agitated and impulsive... it’s a constant hunger, a constant need for stimulation.. I thought it would be a great idea to go to Spain for a weekend even though I had just been there for two weeks not long before. I also thought it would be a great idea to change Kier’s school out of nowhere, buy a couch that cost $10,000 USD, and date a couple. I couldn’t sit still and I couldn’t stop spending money." ...That was in the summer of 2014. I have been in remission, as they call it, since then. After trial and error I am on the right medication cocktail. Sometimes I want to go off it all but my support network of friends and family always talk me out of it." https://hypebae.com/2016/8/leah-mcsweeney-bipolar-mental-health So when Leah is having an unmedicated episode, she engages in hyper-sexualized behaviour, acts impulsively, has no judgement, lacks any self awareness and is incapable of seeing she's completely out of control. The disorder also causes her to mistakenly believe she is actually more charming, prettier, and sexier when in a manic episode, or off her meds, or drinking. Which pretty well describes Leah's behavior 70 percent of the time on the show. Which means Ramona is...sorta right (the fuck? How did THAT happen, guys? The assurance that Ramona will always let us down - throw a glass, say something brutal, walk in a bikini and high heels with all the grace of a constipated pigeon in hot pursuit of a man making over 400K a year - the Moaner touchstones! - gone. Poof! Ramona is now the voice of reason. Ramona is now discussing best practice protocols, diving into non-engagement, and refusing to be baited into the fight Dorinda is trying to choreograph with all the wet-lipped passion Medley usually reserves for her roast chicken nights with Lenny Briscoe (speaking of juice). Welcome to the new decade: Covid. Murder hornets. UFOs. Killer seeds, And Ramoner the Reasoner. We are so screwed.)
  13. amen (even my least favourite of hepburn's hairstyles still suits her).
  14. Right, but the reason you gave for "these women" not being able to go into a bar and flirt with younger men was being too old to do it - I don't think it's about age at all. Julianne Moore (frex) is older than Sonja, and I would be more than happy to watch her flirt her way through a bar full of younger men, b/c Julianne Moore doesn't pound booze, stuff her face like a demented gopher, and piss into a Jitney diaper ; )
  15. This season is such a shit show, I'd happily watch Tinsley do anything; clean silver, sort socks, obsess about where to store her goldfish crackers ("Maybe I need to imagine a session with Marie Kondo...."Do the goldfish crackers in the fridge bring you joy, Tinsley?" NO! NO they do not, Imaginary Marie Kondo! I want them on the bed, when I have no pasta bowl waiting for me when I wake!") I'd watch Tins read her horoscope. throw out old make-up, discuss the X-Files on some obscure fan site (raging against other posters - "You heffa! I myself love complex hair, but Scully's hair was very underappreciated!") At this point, I'd fucking watch Tins do almost anything other than see "It places the lotion in the basket" Dorinda (currently cycling through a flow chart of sorta-drunk, hella drunk, and about-to-hurl drunk) with her belly forever full of rage - mouth word-gobbling like a turkey - as she stalks Tinsley. Shit happens ; ) Because age is being used as a whip, an insult, a tool to shame women; it's being used as proof an "older" woman needs to stop thinking she has the right to flirt & banter & feel sexually alive, when clearly, she must instead take to her rocking chair to live out her old-lady days (perhaps forgiven for panting heavily over a passage from Outlander, but nothing more, you old hag.) I find it especially puzzling as an insult because in this fucked-up misogynist world, the shelf life allowed to women to be approvingly/proudly in search of their own sexual joy is VERY short, with every women over 30 being juuuust a bit too old for some male cohort lurking somewhere. Fuck that noise. If you're a woman who wants to put on her highest heels and lippy (or jeans and tank top) and flirt with a man or woman you find pleasing - on your terms, not anybody else's - then go for it, be you eighteen or eighty.
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