Kandi's Wedding: Going to the Chapel and... Mama Joyce is Pissed.

[swankie]

I have to give Todd props for dealing with the crazy that is Mama Joyce. He is pretty articulate and even toned with her, even when he is irritated with her.

 

If I was Todd, at this point, I would see that it is futile to even try to engage that bitch anymore.  I would treat her like she's invisible.  If she's anywhere near me and my house, I would make sure to be in any other room but the one she's in.  I wouldn't acknowledge her existence EVER AGAIN!!!  She would be as dead to me as the wig on that humongous H.R. PufnStuf looking head of hers.  Boo bitch bye!  https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQ_JznKtSB1VTkKcBD-axEfwPqxbGutsgW8TAJ3XGfp8sJslWHU

 

Compare this:  https://encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRKyOLTzvcmy6DE_WC5xB3Q96m0v--2pddbqGiKKBETFsYEw6JM   To this:  https://encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQXYnTynKKv8_JPz13lM3gScPkgYf61W3XKkXF2vbQYMkNOTwDBHw

Edited June 9, 2014 by swankie

[Brooklynista]

Superficial peeve coming.

At some point in going to need for Kandi actively move her jaw when she is speaking. Why won't she unclench her teeth and open her mouth when she speaks? It's driving me nuts! Not sure why it's bugging me so much more now.

[Luciano]

Why won't she unclench her teeth and open her mouth when she speaks?

Habit formed from a lifetime of clenching her jaw to avoid losing it as Joyce squawks at her like a demented bird.

[AnnaL]

It's absolutely true that Carmen wasn't doing her job - I just don't know how that's Todd's business. I married a lawyer, but that doesn't give me the right to go to my partner's job and start talking out the side of my mouth to my partner's assistant. That wasn't his place no matter how frustrated he was. Plus, Carmen is more than an assistant, she has been there for Kandi for over 2 decades - that's before Kandi started making big bucks. That's their relationship and Todd needs to stay in his lane.

 

Kandi can't get into a size 6 jeans with that ass, but I believe that she could get into a size 6 dress. She has a small waist and isn't too busty so I believe that she's a size 6 from the waist up.

I agree, it was not Todd's place to deal with Carmen, it was Kandi's place

As far as their prenup, it should be fairly simple, every party leaves the marriage with what they brought with some special clauses for times and years in the marriage. Todd is right to have a lawyer look through it though, then when and if the time comes he won't be able to say that he didn't know what he was signing.

Mama Joyce ? Aggghhhh I am not sure why Kandi still tries. The moment that Joyce mentioned on camera that Todd's mom was a prostitue and the father was a pimp I would have been done with her (at least until she comes very humble and apologized to Todd's mom. I am still not sure why kandi didn't shut down her mom very firmly.

Kandi is crazy, she is hoping for her to change but I think she will change only for the worse. Watching this show only makes me so thankful for my mother who is a classy lady and would never behave like this.

[swankie]

To me, Kandi is just as stank as her mama if she expects Todd to just sit there and take the crap Joyce throws at him without saying anything.  I can't believe she had the nerve to tell Todd not to say anything about her mama!  Kandi, if you don't want Todd to react to what your asshole mama says about him and his family, then stop telling him.  How do you expect him to react?  Stop being stupid!!!

[cyberfruit]

Superficial peeve coming.

At some point in going to need for Kandi actively move her jaw when she is speaking. Why won't she unclench her teeth and open her mouth when she speaks? It's driving me nuts! Not sure why it's bugging me so much more now.

While watching the show tonight, I noticed that Joyce speaks through a clenched jaw as well.

[AnnaL]

To me, Kandi is just as stank as her mama if she expects Todd to just sit there and take the crap Joyce throws at him without saying anything.  I can't believe she had the nerve to tell Todd not to say anything about her mama!  Kandi, if you don't want Todd to react to what your asshole mama says about him and his family, then stop telling him.  How do you expect him to react?  Stop being stupid!!!

I hate to be pessimistic but I am not seeing a great future for this relationship if mama Joyce is around. I like Kandi very much, she is a great business woman but when it comes to her relationships she is a mess, she is trying to please everyone and will end up pleasing no one.

[ToukieSmith]

Dear Kandi,

 

Your mother is a bitch.

She makes you look stupid and weak.

 

If I was doing business with you and I saw this shit?  I'd end the deal....immediately.

 

Signed,

Anyone who watches this show

 

Cosign.  I think I dislike Kandi more than I dislike Joyce.  I did not like how blase Kandi seemed to be about the pimp/ho remarks that Joyce made.  I also did not like that she did not want Todd to address the matter with Joyce.

 

Todd should have ran when he had the chance.  Kandi does not have enough money to distract from Joyce's crazy.

 

They could have left Apollo on the cutting room floor.

[cooksdelight]

Kandi seems to be forgetting that her daughter Riley is watching all this shit go down, and how will her perception of men/women's relationships be formed? Will Riley let Kandi walk all over her and criticize her to death when she's grown up? I saw Kandi mention that she's having issues with Riley now (imagine that!) on her FB page, she didn't go into detail, but woman... you reap what you sow.

What must people who do business with Kandi be thinking of her now? Or are they all aware that a batshit crazy old woman comes with the package?

There's reality TV made-up drama, then there's acting a fool.

[coloradoqt]

I don't think lines have been drawn between  when Kandi's employees are Kandi's friends. When Todd was speaking to Carmon and Johnny  he was speaking to the wedding planners: not Kandi's employees or Kandi's friends. Carmon responded as Kandi's friend. She texted Kandi as her friend, not her employer.  Kandi's lack of response was to a friend,not to an employee. Todd has seen he has to take up the business slack as a business partner and as the groom. Just as Joyce has no boundaries, neither does Kandi. Carmon has said she does not want to be a wedding planner, she wants to be in the wedding. To Kandi that means she does not want to work for her any longer. To Todd it  means she is a wedding planner who is not doing her job as a wedding planner.

 

To say "I don't want to pay all of that money to a wedding planner when we can do it". Is saying she wants her friends to help her plan and coordinate her wedding,

and her employees to work doing something they are not qualified to do , because it's cheaper. As a friend I would be insulted and as a employee I would be pissed.

 

Todd has to love Kandi to put up with this much shit from Joyce and Kandi. Joyce tells Kandi mean & hurtful stuff, Kandi doesn't defend Todd or Carmon. Kandi then repeats this mean and hurtful stuff to Todd and Carmon and expects, doesn't want them to say anything ,to Joyce about it, because it won't change Joyce.and she won't have to be in a confrontation and worry about taking sides. She would rather she told them, and no matter how untrue it is, how much it hurts, they say, "well it's you mom and thats the way she is", the way Kandi does.

 

To say to someone, "your dad was a pimp" because someone who knew him, even though he lived in New York, said it, is  despicable. Kandi is weak and as bad as

Joyce, because her responses and lack of backbone only validate Joyce. It pains me to see the hurt in Todd's face. Nothing anyone say to Joyce is going to stop her from being the vile and evil person she is. Kandi said she doesn't believe her father.Yet she has never seen anything he has done or said to believe he would lie about Joyce. But she has seen and heard her mother lie about what she has said and done.

 

For Joyce to use this" if I'm lying I hope God would" etc,etc.should tell Kandi she is lying. Joyce knows she can say anything and know God Is not going to strike her dead.Even as evil as she is she knows that's not gonna happen. So to invoke her deceased son's name to back up a lie tells you how far she is willing to go to spread her filth.  The pain and guilt in Kandi's voice "oh don't say that ", tells you how deep her Soul has been poisoned. 

Edited June 9, 2014 by coloradoqt

[b2H]

For me, this show is all about demonstrating how overwhelmed Kandi is by the people around her.  She never learned how to deal with difficult people - it started with her mother and has worked its way into every relationship she's had.  If she doesn't do something about her interpersonal skills soon, she will lose her business, which is apparently more important to her than anything.

 

Todd should never have married Kandi until this nonsense was Joyce was put to an end, including the possibility of dismissing Joyce from Kandi's life.  Joyce is the epitome of a bad mother - she is a bully, she is beyond reason and she has no concept of what it means to defend and protect anyone but herself.  Kandi is a weak-willed individual, who continually glosses over all the drama and hostility going on around her.  Not a person I would want in my life.

[cooksdelight]

Kandi has the body language that says it all. She grits her teeth and puts both hands up in a "stop!" motion and that's it. She doesn't put a stop to anything.

[SFoster21]

Did I hear Todd correctly when he said he hadn't even seen a pre-nup yet?

Does Kandi's cheapness extend to not paying a lawyer to handle this? The woman is a fool.

[ToukieSmith]

Kandi has the body language that says it all. She grits her teeth and puts both hands up in a "stop!" motion and that's it. She doesn't put a stop to anything.

Whats interesting is that she is the one that starts the conversation in the first place.  If she did not want Todd to address Joyce or work through the issues, then I don't understand why she brought it up in the first place.  She did not need to say anything to Todd about what Joyce said.  When he learned about her comments, she could have shrugged her shoulders and dismissed Joyce's opinion as she always does.

Edited June 9, 2014 by ToukieSmith

[kassa]

Joyce tells Kandi mean & hurtful stuff, Kandi doesn't defend Todd or Carmon. Kandi then repeats this mean and hurtful stuff to Todd and Carmon and expects, doesn't want them to say anything ,to Joyce about it, because it won't change Joyce.and she won't have to be in a confrontation and worry about taking sides.

 

Oh, I think she knows EXACTLY what she's doing.  (At least subconsciously.)  It's totally passive aggressive.  She tells Todd what he's up against, but then she tells him not to do anything about it, to give herself permission for having "betrayed" her mother.   Then if he goes ahead, she "tried her best."   She knew Todd would deal with it, and wanted him to. 

 

That said, Kandi?  You're planning on having a child with this man, right?  A child who will be the grandchild of the people your mother is slandering.  Think about that a bit before you shrug off the garbage she's putting into your child's permanent family memory vault. 

[FlyingEgret]

Did I hear MJ correctly when she told Kandi she's on her own?  I presume she meant that even though she is no longer "supporting" Kandi she would still expect Kandi to support her (at least financially).  Or is MJ finally ready to start working the pole to pay the mortgage?

[Lucygirl2]

I knew this wedding special was a bad idea.  I have lost all my Kandi love.  Joyce is stank but Kandi is a stank-enabler.  How you gonna seriously tell your man that your stank face mama called his deceased father a pimp & expect him to bite his tongue?

 

The moment she declined walking Kandi down the aisle would have told me all I needed to know about she felt about me & how much she valued her relationship with me.  Also that tongue click-UGH combo Joyce let out when Kandi mentioned she had lunch with her dad was enough for me to believe Kandi's dad's story is probably more accurate than Joyce's.  It's like it is her tell & you just know some bullshit lie is going to come out of her mouth.

[CaughtOnTape]

Todd is too good for Kandi.  Because if my significant other's mother ever said word one about my deceased parent there would've been a fist fight.  I don't give a shit if the old bitch is older then I am.  I would've put her on her ass.  None of this "Oh don't say anything..." bullshit.  Hell no.  She would've been told in no uncertain terms to keep my parent's names out of her filthy fucking mouth.

 

God, I cannot stand this woman.  Or Kandi.  

 

Kandi has made a huge mistake putting her mother out there for the world to see.  She's a liar, a manipulator and the worst kind of mother ever.  God help you Todd if Kandi turns into her mother.

[Sheenieb]

 

God, I cannot stand this woman.  Or Kandi.

Word. Joyce is the absolute worst, but the bloom is off the rose with Kandi, too. She's beyond weak.

 

I wrote back on TWOP that Todd is a good man who must really love Kandi to put up with her mother, but I wouldn't blame him one bit if he filed for divorce later on. Kandi will never stand up to Joyce. Just because she shrugs off Joyce's disrespect doesn't mean that Todd should. I had to roll my eyes when Kandi had the nerve to come at Todd for saying mean things about her mother. Oh, so he's just supposed to sit back and let Joyce call his mother a prostitute and his deceased father a pimp? Ok.

 

I hate when people say they have something to tell you, then when you ask, say nevermind, I don't want to get into it. Uggh! Why bring it up, then? If you don't want Todd to confront your mother about her vile mouth, then STFU!

 

I'm also over Kandi's cheapness. I'm not saying that she should be frivolous with money, but to cheap out on your own wedding when you have the means is ridiculous. I could understand asking her friends to plan her wedding if she wanted something low-key, but a large scale production with zoo animals? Then she gets pissy because they don't have a venue. Um, she can't expect miracles on short notice.

[Lakewood27]

Did I hear MJ correctly when she told Kandi she's on her own?  I presume she meant that even though she is no longer "supporting" Kandi she would still expect Kandi to support her (at least financially).  Or is MJ finally ready to start working the pole to pay the mortgage?

 

What mortgage? Kandi's first house, which is Mama Joyce's new house, was paid off years ago. Joyce is spending her allowance on tacky QVC jewelry and dusty wigs, not bills. And why work the pole when you can just open up a secret credit card in your daughter's name?!

 

No disrespect to Todd, but the caliber of men Mama Joyce feels Kandi deserves would NEVER put up with Kandi's baggage, and that includes her mama.

Edited June 9, 2014 by Lakewood27

[EtheltoTillie]

Wow, Joyce is crazy . . .  When Todd tried to inject a note of rationality, asking how his alleged "pimp" father could have taught him anything bad before the age of three, Joyce had a quick answer waiting--his "legacy" lives on--through "bad blood," I suppose.

 

Very sad when she refused to walk her daughter down the aisle, as it would be (sigh) asking a lot . . .

 

It is awful that Kandi allows this to go on.  This kind of toxic parent cannot be changed, so she should be avoided.  Kandi instead has internalized all of Mama Joyce's warped world view.

 

There was one funny moment when Todd and my favorite brain trust, Apollo, were talking about the prenup.  Apollo put on his thinking look, where he furrows his brow and tries to pretend he actually has working brain cells.

[Ubiquitous]

That's cause she's wearing one of those cincher corset thingys. I don't remember the name of it, but it pulls in the waist and pushes up the boobs. How else do you think Momma Joyce lost weight? Stress? LMAO!!!

Someone from TWOP, please refresh our memory on what that thing is called.

Corset? Spanx?

 

I almost missed this show because the on-line TV Listing has it listed as RHoA as episode 29 of season six. WTF?

 

I don't think anyone would convict if Todd choked Mama Joyce to death after all she to him about his parents.

[b2H]

Ubiquitous,

 

This is how Mama Joyce plays the game:  no one is going to do anything to her while the cameras are on her.  Doesn't matter how vile she gets, she will always play the victim card, or any other card in that 'nutcase' deck she happens upon.

[bosawks]

Or is MJ finally ready to start working the pole to pay the mortgage?

That's going to have to be one hell of a pole.........

[Empress1]

I don't know why Kandi was too cheap to hire a real wedding planner; it's not as if money is an issue.

Agreed. I commend her frugality in general (she's had the same Mercedes since she first appeared in RHOA) but if you're trying to plan a big event on short notice, you need to throw some money at the problem, and she can afford it.

I'm pro-pre-nup but I would not consider signing one without having my own representation look at it. Ideally a couple would draw it up together, I think; if my dude were like "Here, sign this"? Naw, I'll be lawyering up. I can't fault Todd for that.

Kandi's dad seems WAY WAY WAY too good for Joyce. I fully believe Joyce kept him away. Loved the scene with him and Todd in the tux shop.

I honestly think I'd have broken up with Kandi if I were Todd. Joyce is a vile, evil woman who brings misery. If I did go through with it, it would be in the condition that she weren't allowed in my home; if she couldn't agree to that, I'd have to end it. She's bent on making him miserable, and Kandi will never put a stop to it.

[drivethroo]

Kandi played Todd with that passive aggressive move.  At this point, it's more Kandi than Joyce.  Just as Todd "learned the game" from his daddy, Kandi learned the game from her momma:

 

Joyce Game:

 

1) Have problem with Titus

2) Runteldat to Bertha & Nora

3) Bertha & Nora get all up in Titus' grill

4) Titus fights back

5)  Joyce plays victim

 

Kandi Game:

 

1) Have problem with Joyce

2) Runteldat to Todd/Carmon

3) Todd/Carmon confront Joyce

4) Joyce fights back

5) Kandi plays victim

 

If Kandi really didn't want any confrontations between Todd & Joyce she wouldn't have run back to Todd to tell him what Joyce said or try to pretend she didn't want him to say anything about.  Kandi lacked courage to tell her mom "You know what? That's not cool what you said and I don't want to hear it anymore."  Instead, she runs and tells Todd, knowing he'd be justifiably upset and would confront Joyce.  Kandi gets Todd to do the dirty work (also with Carmon) while her hands stay clean.

 

I hope Mama Sharon snatches Joyce up next week.

[ZaldamoWilder]

I don't like to call women cunts cause that's just rude, but Kandi's momma is a cunt. What is really wrong with this woman? And what is really wrong with Kandi that she would sit there and listen to her momma talk shit? Kandi tried to be slick and act like she had no clue how Joyce behaved when Joyce popped off on Carmen at the salon because Kandi wasnt there to witness that. She was able to deflect that, but this time she's sitting front row to her trash box mommas antics.

Joyce needs a real quick pop in the mouth like your grandma used to do when you said some sideways shit.

I'm waiting for Momma Todd. Hopefully she'll unleash a good ole ho ass whooping on Joyce. Just like a good Bottom Bitch would to keep the rest of the stable in line.

 

Like, I’m tambout, this made me belly-jiggle through most of my morning.

 

I knew this wedding special was a bad idea.  I have lost all my Kandi love.  Joyce is stank but Kandi is a stank-enabler.  How you gonna seriously tell your man that your stank face mama called his deceased father a pimp & expect him to bite his tongue?

 

The moment she declined walking Kandi down the aisle would have told me all I needed to know about she felt about me & how much she valued her relationship with me.  Also that tongue click-UGH combo Joyce let out when Kandi mentioned she had lunch with her dad was enough for me to believe Kandi's dad's story is probably more accurate than Joyce's.  It's like it is her tell & you just know some bullshit lie is going to come out of her mouth.

 

Why, a) I'm perfectly comfortable believing Kandi's dad and b) He's credible because Joyce is lying ass liar who lies.   That tell noise was just icing on the cake for me.   {{Dave Chapelle voice}} gotcha, bitch!   It makes me want to cry to watch her manipulative bullshittiness cast over somebody she claims to love so dearly.   Joyce was all did I stop him from buying you birthday presents? Christmas presents?  etc. and Kandi, poor bastard, looked as though she believed her.   This bitch.  When would he have given her a closet full of years old presents if he wasn't allowed to ever get near her?  I believe him about the restraining order and because I'm petty as fuck, knowing my daughter I would've had a copy ready to pull out to show her.

 

Corset? Spanx?

 

I almost missed this show because the on-line TV Listing has it listed as RHoA as episode 29 of season six. WTF?

 

I don't think anyone would convict if Todd choked Mama Joyce to death after all she to him about his parents.

 

Body Magic.

 

I can't wait for Mama Todd (Sharon?) to show up and {{jill scott voice}} beat. that. ass.

 

I said over on TWOP that Todd was a good dude, I'm gonna have to change that to a good *one* because there is no way I'd keep being around that troll.  Not for a check, not for family goodwill, not for my wife, nothing.

 

I think Kandi keeps playing runtelldat not so much as a matter of strategy but because a basic rule in relationships is don't surprise me with anything.  If she lets him find out by himself or by reading the blogs or watching the episode that's a pretty difficult thing to justify keeping to herself.    I wish they'd have some more therapy sessions, I wonder what Joyce would be like in the presence of you know, rationale.

[walnutqueen]

I wish they'd have some more therapy sessions, I wonder what Joyce would be like in the presence of you know, rationale.

 

 

I doubt Joyce is capable of recognizing rationale, unless rationale is capable of slapping her upside that big head of hers.  Like any badly behaved toddler, she needs a time out and immediate consequences for every one of her inappropriate actions and remarks.  Kandi is an asshole for allowing her mother to treat the man she professes to love enough to marry in such a shameful way. 

[FozzyBear]

I doubt Joyce is capable of recognizing rationale, unless rationale is capable of slapping her upside that big head of hers. Like any badly behaved toddler, she needs a time out and immediate consequences for every one of her inappropriate actions and remarks. Kandi is an asshole for allowing her mother to treat the man she professes to love enough to marry in such a shameful way.

Joyce just talks. And talks and talks. Nothing ever makes much sense. When someone points that out she says something else. Like during the Todd's family pimp and hoe conversation (what the fuck? That is such a bizarre accusation) and Todd called her out on the manipulative nature of saying "people told her things " without says who and what in specific terms. Then she starts screaming about how they should talk about the people who said she hired someone to take pictures of Todd cheating and Bravo flashes back to the clip and it was her! Mama Joyce told Kandi that she hired someone to do that. She makes no sense and just keeps going until everyone else is too tired to care. She'll say anything to win. I knew she was pure evil when she threw out swearing on her dead son's name like it was nothing. Even Kandi looked grossed out by that one. Like you're honestly willing to use the memory of your dead child to get people to believe your lies. That's just sick.

But at this point Kandi needs to grow up and stop trying to force everyone in her life to put up with Mama Joyce's abuse. She's 38. That's plenty old enough to take control of your own life and just thank Mama Joyce for coming over and show her the door the second she starts. Trust me. She'll figure it out. She needs Kandi a lot more than Kandi needs her. Todd's a lot nicer about it than I would be. I think at this point Mama Joyce would not be welcome anywhere near me until she apologizes and gets some therapy.

[Neurochick]

Kandi needs to go to therapy because she has to learn about boundaries.  To have boundaries isn't to be disrespectful, it's simply to let the other person know what is your stuff and what is their stuff.  Kandi has to learn that it's not disrespectful to tell her mother to not say bad things about Todd in her presence.  It's fine that she thinks Todd is "running a game" on Kandi, that's her choice, but it's not correct for her to try to disrupt Kandi's relationship.  Kandi doesn't know what boundaries are; she doesn't have them with her mother and she didn't have them with Carmon.  If you want a lavish wedding, you hire a wedding planner, you don't impose on your friends and expect them to pull off a

 

Joyce also needs to understand that men she feels are on Kandi's level might not want Kandi; and all that glitters is not gold.

 

I have a feeling that even though Kandi might love Todd, there is a voice in the back of her mind that's saying, "this isn't going to work, so you better not piss off your family."  I think that's the real problem, Kandi herself might not truly believe in her relationship with Todd and because of that she will push Todd away. 

 

I also believe Kandi's dad because it does seem that Joyce listens to the crap folks in the street say.  She probably doesn't even know for sure the man was cheating, just that someone told it to her.

Edited June 9, 2014 by Neurochick

[FozzyBear]

Kandi needs to go to therapy because she has to learn about boundaries. To have boundaries isn't to be disrespectful, it's simply to let the other person know what is your stuff and what is their stuff. Kandi has to learn that it's not disrespectful to tell her mother to not say bad things about Todd in her presence. It's fine that she thinks Todd is "running a game" on Kandi, that's her choice, but it's not correct for her to try to disrupt Kandi's relationship. Kandi doesn't know what boundaries are; she doesn't have them with her mother and she didn't have them with Carmon. If you want a lavish wedding, you hire a wedding planner, you don't impose on your friends and expect them to pull off a

Joyce also needs to understand that men she feels are on Kandi's level might not want Kandi; and all that glitters is not gold.

I have a feeling that even though Kandi might love Todd, there is a voice in the back of her mind that's saying, "this isn't going to work, so you better not piss off your family." I think that's the real problem, Kandi herself might not truly believe in her relationship with Todd and because of that she will push Todd away.

I also believe Kandi's dad because it does seem that Joyce listens to the crap folks in the street say. She probably doesn't even know for sure the man was cheating, just that someone told it to her.

Word. Kandi is surprisingly...something...dense or oblivious maybe? A little selfish in her own right? I really didn't like that she assumed her staff would plan her wedding. For something as lavish as she wants that's a full time job. I could see introducing her staff to her wedding planner and letting them know they'll probably be dealing with this person a lot, but expecting them to take on another full time job, one that is filled with emotional drama and situations where they will have no choice but to piss off either Kandi, Todd, or Mama Joyce? I wouldn't want to do that either. Same thing with expecting Todd to endlessly try and talk things out with Mama Joyce. She doesn't really ask, she just expects.

[CaughtOnTape]

The next time Kandi wants to get on her high horse concerning what NeNe said about her momma I hope that Bravo replays the shit out of the clip of what Joyce said about Todd's mother.

 

I'm so done with Kandi's "I'm above all of this" nonsense she tries to play off with the other HoWives.  She is no better.  In fact, she's probably worse.  She's a hypocrite.

[Neurochick]

Kandi has no boundaries.  She lets people run over her (like Joyce), smiles and does nothing because she doesn't want conflict.  She also runs over other people, like expecting Carmon, who was no experience as a wedding planner, to plan her wedding.  When Carmon confronted Kandi, the latter was upset, upset because Carmon wouldn't let Kandi run HER over. 

[Empress1]

I knew she was pure evil when she threw out swearing on her dead son's name like it was nothing. Even Kandi looked grossed out by that one.

She told her mother a few times to stop saying that. That's REALLY fucked up.

It kills me, the mindfuck Joyce has done, because Kandi could shut this shit down in two seconds. She financially supports her mother (wonder who bought her that Audi SUV she was driving?)and is the mother of Joyce's only grandchild. If she cut the purse strings and told her she couldn't bring her poisonous attitude around Riley, Joyce would have to at least TRY to act right. But Joyce still has Kandi cowed. It's almost masterful.

[Ubiquitous]

I wish they'd have some more therapy sessions, I wonder what Joyce would be like in the presence of you know, rationale.

Didn't they have a therapy session earlier this season?

 

I also believe Kandi's dad because it does seem that Joyce listens to the crap folks in the street say.  She probably doesn't even know for sure the man was cheating, just that someone told it to her.

I bet her coven of Kandi's Aunts are the ones who told Joyce. 

[qtpye]

Wow, Joyce is crazy . . .  When Todd tried to inject a note of rationality, asking how his alleged "pimp" father could have taught him anything bad before the age of three, Joyce had a quick answer waiting--his "legacy" lives on--through "bad blood," I suppose.

 

 

If bad behavior travels though bloodlines then Kandi and all her decendants are doomed, as the source of that river is MJ.  However humble Todd's beginnings are, he deserved to be judged as a man in his own right.  How would MJ like it if people refused to work with Kandi because of where she come from (MJ).

[quetzal]

I've watched Kandi and the shenettagans [/Joseline] go on for all of Season 6 up to now and looked at it all in a detached way...until last night when my mom came to visit me and she sounded off about the vileness of Joyless. Why it took that much to put it all in perspective for me, I don't know. But Joyless is ruining Kandi's special and Kandi's way of handling it has definitely made me lose some respect for her. The conversation between Todd and Joyless last night got my blood boiling. I may have to read the recaps for next week instead in hopes that Sharon attempts to set the shrew straight.

Edited June 9, 2014 by quetzal

[Chrissytd]

Kandi needs to put her when it comes to Momma Joyce. If not, I see Joyce doing everything to splitting them up even changing the locks.

[ridethemaverick]

Word. Kandi is surprisingly...something...dense or oblivious maybe? A little selfish in her own right? I really didn't like that she assumed her staff would plan her wedding. For something as lavish as she wants that's a full time job. I could see introducing her staff to her wedding planner and letting them know they'll probably be dealing with this person a lot, but expecting them to take on another full time job, one that is filled with emotional drama and situations where they will have no choice but to piss off either Kandi, Todd, or Mama Joyce? I wouldn't want to do that either. Same thing with expecting Todd to endlessly try and talk things out with Mama Joyce. She doesn't really ask, she just expects.

I think she's both dense and oblivious. I say this because I follow her on Instagram and she posts pics of Joyce and tells people to tune in. She actually yhe thinks her mother's antics are funny and she thinks people TUNE IN for Joyce and to be entertained by Joyce.

I have lost all respect for Kandi. That she refuses to see how toxic her mother is and how much her comments and behavior have hurt the people she loves just tells me how delusional she is. I can't even wrap my brain around it.

[SFoster21]

Well, for me, the whole point of reality TV is people behaving badly and denying that they do.

BUT, this situation is just painful to witness and not amusing or quirky or humiliating-funny.

It's just sad.

[quinn]

She actually yhe thinks her mother's antics are funny and she thinks people TUNE IN for Joyce and to be entertained by Joyce.

 

I think that Kandi is 1000% right on that front.  This past season Mama Joyce raised Kandi to a level of relevance that she has not had on RHoA since her first season, and while I think that this tacky wedding special would have gotten respectable ratings on its on, IMO Mama Joyce's antics are the reason that its premiere episode broke records.

 

Kandi and Todd are not bad people, but she is passive-aggressive and messy and he is an opportunist.  To me, there is no way that if Kandi had all the same personality and physical traits that she has now except that she was a neighborhood hairdresser that Todd would be putting up with Joyce and Kandi's enabling of Joyce.  I think that Todd and Kandi see reality TV as the means for them establish / solidify / grow their businesses, all they have to do is act hapless while Mama Joyce does her thing, and then when not filming, be out pursuing taking advantage of the visibility that being on a hit reality TV provides.

 

As far as Mama Joyce is concerned, she may not be getting paid - she claimed she was not for RHoA, which is probably fine by her because she knows (IME) that she just just wrote her ticket to be supported by and run roughshod over Kandi for the remainder of her life.

 

ETA:

This is my first post, I was Tafatia on TWoP.

Edited June 16, 2014 by quinn

[BollywoodLover]

My sister in law's mom is sorta like Mama Joyce, but not so outspoken. She has said very untrue/mean things about my brother. The last time was when my SIL was getting surgery and she started on this tirade in the waiting room.  Unlike Kandi though my SIL is not so immeshed with her mother and realizes that there is some irrational thinking going on. Luckily now they seem to be at truce with little nephew coming. I guess, maybe she realized it was not really worth missing out on grandchildren.

 

The only real way to teach Mama Joyce to simmah down, is to start cutting her off from functions. However, Kandi does not have the conjones to do so. 

[WimminWinning]

MJ is crazy as hell, but Pastor Titus' story about the breakup didn't make sense either. So they broke up because he didn't like that aunts came over and smoke/drank? He mentioned the aunts lying on him and changing the locks, but he only came up with that story after Kandi said that MJ's side was that the breakup was due to his infidelity (which seems like a much more plausible story). Even crazy can be right some of the time.

 

And I don't buy his story about not seeing Kandi after the divorce. Did he not fight for joint custody, or at least visitation rights? Unless he did something horrible like abuse Kandi, he is entitled to visitation and MJ can't hinder that. Also, no judge is going to issue a restraining order unless there is a damn good reason. Either that was a bullshit story or the Pastor did something so horrible that a judge thought that he needed to keep his distance. In both scenarios, he doesn't exactly come out smelling like roses.

[Lola16]

Kandi needs to channel Dorothy Zbornak and scream: Shady Pines Mama Joyce, Shady Pines.

 

Then book the next greyhound and put her nasty ass on it.

[ribboninthesky1]

Kandi and Todd are not bad people, but she is passive-aggressive and messy and he is an opportunist.  To me, there is no way that if Kandi had all the same personality and physical traits that she has now except that she was a neighborhood hairdresser that Todd would be putting up with Joyce and Kandi's enabling of Joyce.  I think that Todd and Kandi see reality TV as the means for them establish / solidify / grow their businesses, all they have to do is act hapless while Mama Joyce does her thing, and then when not filming, be out pursuing taking advantage of the visibility that being on a hit reality TV provides.

 

I have a hard time believing Todd is an opportunist, as I would think that he might be more hurt professionally by all of the shenanigans going on.  I hope he continues his own career, and not get caught in business partnerships with Kandi.  I realize financial wealth is a marker of success, and maybe off-screen, Kandi is the height of professionalism.  Based on this show, though? No bueno.  I wouldn't be persuaded to partner with or purchase much of anything from her enterprises.  

 

In addition, I've known men who tolerate all kinds of foolywang from the women they love, and the in-laws.  Women aren't the only ones who make poor decisions while in love.  If Todd didn't have his own thing going on before he met Kandi, maybe I could see the "looking for a come-up" angle.  But given the pre-nup, he's not exactly set to be rolling in her dough upon their marriage.  I'm sure he'll benefit in some way financially from the marriage (which, I have no problem with), but I'm not really seeing him as the "bum looking for a sugar mama" type. 

 

I still want to see where these two are in five years.  I can't see the lack of boundaries and respect not taking a toll on their marriage.

 

And I don't buy his story about not seeing Kandi after the divorce. Did he not fight for joint custody, or at least visitation rights? Unless he did something horrible like abuse Kandi, he is entitled to visitation and MJ can't hinder that. Also, no judge is going to issue a restraining order unless there is a damn good reason. Either that was a bullshit story or the Pastor did something so horrible that a judge thought that he needed to keep his distance. In both scenarios, he doesn't exactly come out smelling like roses.

 

Agreed.  To me, a real parent fights for their child, even if they have to go through the court system to do it.  I can't help but wonder if he was just relieved to be free of Joyce (understandable), and got lazy about his parenting (side-eye to him).  Which is human, but own up to that.   

[ToukieSmith]

 

    I wish they'd have some more therapy sessions, I wonder what Joyce would be like in the presence of you know, rationale.

Didn't they have a therapy session earlier this season?

Therapy does not work if you don't think there is a problem.

 

I don't think Todd is an opportunist trying to take advantage of Kandi.  I think Todd and Kandi are using Mama Joyce's crazy to advance their professional goals.  Debuting the play while focusing on the Joyce issues on RHOA is genius cross marketing.

[appledumpling]

I believe Pastor Titus' story, with the behavior that MJ has exhibited on this show I wouldn't put anything past her.  It sounds just like something her and her sisters would do.  Interfering, restraining orders, drinking, keeping the father from seeing the child because of your feelings towards him.  To me it sounds just like MJ and her sisters ratchet behavior, look at how they act today in their sixties and seventies can you imagine them in their twenties and thirties.  As for Pastor Titus not going to the courts to rectify the situation, I think that in the late 1970's and early 1980's young twenty an thirty something men just did not file visitation or custody petitions for whatever reason.  Back then was not like it is today when the baby is barely out of the womb and men are filing for custody or visitation. 

[SFoster21]

I agree, and MJ remarried several times. Who knows what lengths she took to insist that Kandi owed her allegiance to the present husband? Had to complicate matters.

[Lola16]

Maybe we can get Iylana (sp) to talk to Mama Joyce.  Someone needs to get that juvenile finger wagging, high voice screeching to stop.

[SFoster21]

Iyanla had no luck with Sheree; MJ would be another fail.