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Kandi's Wedding: Going to the Chapel and... Mama Joyce is Pissed.


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She does this because Kandi has not hit her where it hurts yet.  If Kandi were to walk away and take her money with her, MJ would be quick to start apologizing.  Which is sad.  For all the talking MJ does about other people being after Kandi for her money, it seems she's the first in line.

I think the term is "projection".

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From the photos I see on Kandi's FB page, everyone is one big happy family. Carmon, her mom, Todd... I really think, personally, they are acting up for TV ratings/money. Which just makes me think even less of these people than I already do.

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From the photos I see on Kandi's FB page, everyone is one big happy family. Carmon, her mom, Todd... I really think, personally, they are acting up for TV ratings/money. Which just makes me think even less of these people than I already do.

 

I guess that would be new low for Bravo. (And that's saying much)

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It's not so much Bravo... it's Kandi and company who signed a contract with the understanding they'd act like assholes to get ratings. I'm sorry, I won't sell out my friends and family for money. No amount of money.

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I just can't watch this without MJ's antics making my blood pressure spike. It doesn't help that Kandi refuses to put her mother in her place and just accepts MJ's crazy-arse rationalizations. Run, Todd, run!!!

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This show is awful but damn, if it doesn't make me laugh.

Joyce has called Todd's mom Sharon a ho/prostitute. She's called Todd's deceased father a pimp. We've seen her take of her shoes & try to fit. But today, she wants to act like she got the vapors because Sharon called her a bitch. Bitch, please.

Personally, I think she's upset because none of her schemes/outbursts are working.

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(edited)

Unfortunately, I think this is Mama Joyce's real behavior.

 

Further, any parent who tries to live off their children and then guilt them into it because "they owe it to them" (the parent), is shameful. Your job was to raise your child and you do it because that is your role, not because you are raising your future meal ticket.

Edited by LunaNegra
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Oh where to begin. The elderly chicken and spaghetti throw down was everything I expected. From Todd's Mom needing her water and brandy. To Aunt Bertha having a drop the mic moment that nobody could understand. To Joyce trying to act like being called a bitch is the greatest offense imaginable after all the crap she spouts about others. I lurved it more than Todd who was smirking the whole time.

 

I have an Aunt who trashes her son in law constantly. She is surprised that she's not invited over to the house with the same ease that the other Mother in law is. Perhaps it's because nobody wants your nasty attitude?

 

Just because Kandi' s willing to accept Joyce's abuse, doesn't mean everyone else has to as well. I was irked that she was trying to take Todd's Mom to task in her TH.

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 I agree. That makes me wonder what is the truth--the psych case we see now or the seemingly normal woman in Season 1? It also brings up the question that it's quite possible she might have done the switcheroo on Titus; being sensible at first and then irrational and vengeful later on.

well I seem to remember catching glimpses of her behavior early on.  Remember when she came to the lunch where Nene and Kim weren't speaking?  MJ tried to really push it on them to say hello.  I kind of gave the side eye to that a little bit.  Something about the way she responded when Nene was checking her. 

 

I agree with everyone on here.  The woman is vile.  And Kandi is too old to be putting up with that kind of shit from anyone.  Don't care if it IS your momma.   As another poster said, you teach others how to treat you.  She's just teaching MJ that she can continue on with no boundaries whatsoever.  Ugh.  It's sickening to watch.  I used to really love Kandi.  With all this MJ crap and letting her disrespect Todd constantly, it's really making me lose respect for her.

 

Kandi?  What do you think MJ is going to do if you disassociate yourself completely?  Walk away?  yeah, right.  Not if she takes away the money honey.  I can almost guarantee... your momma will be calling you first.  And don't take her back until she APOLOGIZES.   Every time she disrespects you, your husband, your friends or your child?  Walk away and take the money and your presence completely away again.  Keep doing it until it takes.  It might take awhile.  It may take years.  But she will learn.  Because she is only out for her own best interests.  She is a taker.  She does not care.  She cares only about who and what will benefit her and she behaves accordingly.  If she can't get anything from you, she does not care about you.  Simple as that.  It worked with my mother.   My mom is still the same with those who let her get away with it.  But she respects me now.  My family is amazed.

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The thing is, if you follow Kandi on Facebook or anywhere else, there is NONE of this hateful shit from anyone! I swear to whatever you hold holy, she is doing this for TV ratings/money, and she's also hurting herself's image in the process, in my personal opinion. What amount of money is she getting from Bravo that is worth this?

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Given all the drama, I really don't understand why Todd went ahead with the wedding.  Joyce will not change until Kandi firmly puts her foot down.  Kandi is really irritating me, in that she cannot handle any conflict, she just half laughs it off.  If this continues, I don't see the marriage lasting.  

 

Todd's mother apologized for the bitch comment, but Joyce wouldn't let it go.  She clearly does not want the marriage to work, for her own selfish reasons (aka $$$).

 

Kandi needs to cut her off, maybe give her a lump sum of money and say that is it.  The end.  Spend it how you will, but that is it.  Then cut off ties for a while - and then like others have said, she will come crawling back.  Joyce has had no repercussions to her actions thus far, so she just runs over Kandi.  Unless this is all for the show, which is beyond sad.

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(edited)

 

From the photos I see on Kandi's FB page, everyone is one big happy family. Carmon, her mom, Todd... I really think, personally, they are acting up for TV ratings/money. Which just makes me think even less of these people than I already do.

 

I thinking this is a role they are playing for TV.  I've been going back forth, but I am convinced now.

 

When Todd was hustling his mother out of the kitchen, Sharon turned toward the camera as she was mouthing off and I saw a smile/smirk on her face as she was mouthing off.  In the cutaway immediately shown afterwards, Kandi was holding Joyce back and there was a smile Joyce's face too.

 

My sibling has a mental illness and its financially challenging to manage.  If someone offered my family a mint of money to clown on TV, I don't know that I would turn it down.  I would like to think that I would say no, but I am not sure.

Edited by ToukieSmith
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The best part of the episode, those big ass, red solo cups sitting on the table!  

 

Yes thank you! That was hilarious. I sat through that entire dinner hoping Kandi put some real glassware on her bridal registry. Then I saw Mama Joyce pick up her solo cup like she was going to throw it like a shoe at Sharon, and realized why they opted for the plastic cups.

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What?

 

That's not what I said.  Kandi made a spectacle of going off about how NeNe should've kept her big mouth shut about her mother but then asked that Todd keep his mouth shut about what Joyce said about his mother.  

 

But ok.

 

I'm not seeing the comparison there.  Kandi's point to NeNe was that as coworkers, she thought they had enough respect for each other not to insult each other's family members.  Kandi doesn't want anyone to talk about her mom -- especially if it doesn't have anything to do with them.  Kandi doesn't approve of what Joyce says about Todd or his family either.  She doesn't want a tit for tat situation, but she does realize Joyce is out of line.  She can't control Joyce.

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The thing is, if you follow Kandi on Facebook or anywhere else, there is NONE of this hateful shit from anyone! I swear to whatever you hold holy, she is doing this for TV ratings/money, and she's also hurting herself's image in the process, in my personal opinion. What amount of money is she getting from Bravo that is worth this?

 

Personally, I think that it's easier to fake looking happy in still photos.

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The look on Joyce's face when Todd's mother called her a bitch looked pretty real to me.  She was livid!  It was almost like her talking head about her head spinning was almost true.  I don't think any of them are acting.  I think Joyce really hates Todd and doesn't care what kind of ass she makes of herself to proclaim it.  She's been pretty much controlling Kandi all of her life and doesn't want to give that up to Todd.  She also seems to me to be one of those people that will go to their grave holding a grudge and that's probably what she would do if Kandi was to cut her off for any period of time.  It's sad to say, but I think Kandi is just shit out of luck if she thinks she will ever get her mother to like or even tolerate Todd.

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Kandi can't control Joyce no, but she can control her reaction to her and her interactions with her. As in to reduce them to nil until Joyce realizes she has to be At.The.Very.Least polite. Of course this could all be for show or Kandi doesn't have any backbone at all and isn't capable of telling her mother to stay out of her life until she can be civil to her huzben.

 

There, I solved it, do I get a prize?I don't even play a shrink on the internet, just many many years of dealing with a batshit crazy mother.

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Out of 14 kids, I'll bet those two are the only ones who can tolerate Joyce.

Joyce is full of it. Sure she just wanted to take Riley to a movie. So she could talk shit about Tow-It and Tow-It's family and pump Riley for information. Poor Riley. She's the only one who is truly in the middle. I feel sorry for her and Tow-It's daughter, who no doubt has heard the things being said and done to her father and grandparents.

Both Joyce and her sister (the one who looks like the baby on Dinosaurs) have said they want to be "left alone." So leave then. Why are you always on camera? I did laugh when Aunt Baby Dinosaur announced her conspiracy theory about Tow-It's Jedi mind trick and then spun around in her chair like she just caught Bin Laden. Mean ass old lady.

I did laugh at Joyce's face when she thought Kandi was pregnant. Hee! Good one Tow-It.

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I was held hostage last night on Jet Blue (LOL!) to watching this show (of course, I could've changed the channel.....).

 

Anyway, what I noticed was, at the height of the shrieking, Kandi's face.  There was no registering of emotion.  None.  I'm beginning to think those of you who believe this drama is all staged are right.  When she doesn't think anyone is watching, Kandi is entirely supportive of all of this.  This is ratings.  This show is on 19 times a week, it seems, to the exclusion of just about everything else on Bravo.  This is money for her.  So the more vile MJ is, the more income Kandi gets.

 

It is disturbing.

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Joyce did run up on the wrong one, indeed.  Joyce didn't want no New York ass whupping.  She jumped back real quick when Sharon tried to snatch her. Joyce needed a peer to snatch her wig and Sharon is the one to get the job done.  Kandi's not going to do it, Todd can't do it and Carmon gets slapped down about respecting somebody's mother when she does it.  Sharon can approach her woman to woman and be like "Who gon' check me? You?"

 

I mean, really? You gone tell somebody's mother "you shole did" badmouth their child and they're supposed to sit there? Naw!  She'd be the first one fighting Sharon if Sharon treated Kandi the way she treats Todd.  But Todd & Kandi, get ready for a lifetime of Joyce whining that they spend more time with Sharon, and when the baby comes that Sharon gets to spend more time with the new baby than she does.

 

It's nice that Tan has such high self esteem about her looks.

 

If anyone is an opportunist, it's Kandi for showcasing her family's dysfunction.

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(edited)
It's nice that Tan has such high self esteem about her looks.

Um, yeah. Even when fully made up in her THs, the best I can say is Tan looks like El DeBarge.

 

Of course Reco only has a few scraps of fabric, and half a bridesmaid dress done. I will never understand how Kandi thinks, and where she chooses to splurge. Her estate is completely paid for, and yet they're sitting at the dining room table drinking out of Solo cups. And apparently, Kandi only has two sets of sheets. Girl, you know you're going to have a ton of out-of-town guests. Go to BBB and get some guest linens. Damn!

 

I did laugh when Aunt Baby Dinosaur announced her conspiracy theory about Tow-It's Jedi mind trick and then spun around in her chair like she just caught Bin Laden. Mean ass old lady.

 

This made me giggle for a full minute.

Edited by Lakewood27
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I guess I'm going to weigh in on the whole 'doing it for ratings'.  I think, in part, they are.  However,  I know me a crazy momma when I see it.  She's crazy and she is a snake.  I see the reactions from Kandi.  The whole denial thing or looking like there is no emotion looks to me like a defense mechanism.  That's how she's used to responding when she feels like she can't control Joyce's behavior.  And that statement is bullshit too.  She can control her behavior and Joyce can control her own behavior.   I abhor MJ.  She makes everyone around her toxic.  I wish God would take her up on the challenge she threw out there.

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"I thinking this is a role they are playing for TV. I've been going back forth, but I am convinced now."

 

I feel that the real role playing is on Kandi's facebook page.  Like Phaedra, she wants to portray a perfect family dynamic and loyal friends but.  Joyce, however is not just keeping her opinions just on the show but have been making the rounds on the trash Todd tour for months now.  Also, just looking at the wedding pictures tells it all.  She is the only one not smiling and looking like she is at a crime scene, than her daughter's wedding.  If this was just for the show, she would have been walking Kandi down the aisle and that sour puss on her face would not be so evident.  Actually Rasheeda figured out that the image she shows on TV will haunt her and she does try to reel Joyce in and try to portray herself as a peacemaker.

 

The real problem as everyone has said is Kandi herself.  She obviously has never shut down the decention between her two besties or the fact that it was Rasheeda who was telling Joyce that Carmon was his paramour. 

 

Kandi is also responsible for abject disrespect for Todd and his entire family.  It is like whatever her mother says is the absolute truth and no one is allowed to dispute it.  Not even her own father.

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Her estate is completely paid for, and yet they're sitting at the dining room table drinking out of Solo cups.

 

Kandi probably doesn't want to risk Mama Joyce throwing them at people and getting shards of glass everywhere.

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If this situation isn't checked, I don't see this marriage lasting more than a couple of years. Then the coven will feel justified in the "we always family" mantra, while stupid ass Kandi doesn't realize that Todd is her family now, and they set her up. Then she will pass that same bullshit on to Riley. Hopefully, her emotional iq genetics came from someone other than this bunch and she'll be able to recognize how sick this is.

 

In that line, while not giving him a pass for not seeing his kid, a completely shitty thing to do, I definitely believe Titus. Even a threat of a restraining order is tough, especially on a Black man in the south in the 70s/80s. Test it and end up tangling with the police? Plus, the initial one can be set up in most places with just a complaint, then extended with an actual hearing. So all Joyce would have had to do was go down and make up some report, and there would at least be a temporary r.o. I don't think (although it may have been) that Titus was like, oh well, Kandi aint worth it. I think that due to the times/environment, it was much harder for men to have a voice in the family court system, and there is still a lot of that fear/ignorance of rights/general powerlessness in many men to this day. 

 

So Tan and Carmon don't like each other and compete for Kandi's affection. I'm sensing an ugly pattern.

And how is Tan feeling like she should lick Joyce's ass then chide Carmon about her behavior. If Kandi didn't tell/think Carmon that she feels an apology is warranted, who the hell is Tan to do it? I feel like Tan has been the "serious" friend and probably resents Carmon's role for fun/laughter/youth/partying with Kandi.

 

In the cutaway immediately shown afterwards, Kandi was holding Joyce back and there was a smile Joyce's face too.

I saw this too, and actually looped back to see Joyce's smile. I still am not ready to chalk it up to acting/storyline. I think she may have been happy to get a rise out of Sharon and probably thought she came off better in that situation (wrongly). As much as Kandi doesn't like people to talk about her momma, I dont see this kind of ugliness being a set up. Seems far more destructive than entertaining. i will always think Joyce is trash, even if Todd does turn out to be shiftless. She is just SUCH an asshole.

 

Out of 14 kids, I'll bet those two are the only ones who can tolerate Joyce.

Joyce is full of it. Sure she just wanted to take Riley to a movie. So she could talk shit about Tow-It and Tow-It's family and pump Riley for information. [...]

 I did laugh when Aunt Baby Dinosaur announced her conspiracy theory about Tow-It's Jedi mind trick and then spun around in her chair like she just caught Bin Laden. Mean ass old lady.

 

Did you notice how they both called her "Baby" as they fawned all over her? She has been treated like a hateful little princess all her life, I bet, and trained Kandi to give her her way as well. 

 

Baby Dinosaur---this is why I hate y'all on these boards. Not the Mama!

 

But yes, this old biddy really thought she made a pronouncement! That sealed my belief of Titus and his side of the story about lies and bullshit from them. So Joyce ADMITS to plotting and saying she would pay for pictures of Todd (set up semantics aside), but BD Bertha twists the whole thing into a Todd master plan. Which was (If I followed), 1) Todd plotting against Joyce, making up a story of Joyce wanting to ruin the relationship. 2) Finding a mole (Benny?) to spread gossip and 3) ask Joyce if she wanted to set him up, 4) followed by Joyce agreeing to pay. So Joyce was the victim in this scenario?  Entrapment? Shut the fuck up, fool. 

 

Joyce did run up on the wrong one, indeed.  Joyce didn't want no New York ass whupping.  She jumped back real quick when Sharon tried to snatch her. Joyce needed a peer to snatch her wig and Sharon is the one to get the job done. 

 

It's nice that Tan has such high self esteem about her looks.

Ooh, I thought the same thing re: Sharon. Just the one to get with Joyce. She has acted with impunity, and Sharon is the wall she needed to run into. 

 

Tan, sit down and try out an eye patch for an hour a night, boo. Help train them to straighten up and fly right. I know Carmon said Big Bird, but I'm feeling a couple other Muppets.

Evil-Bert.jpg

Sam02.jpg

 

and for those not familiar with Baby Dinosaur:

Baby-dinosaurs-133583_327_309.gif

 

 

I normally HATE inline pics, but this was a special occasion. 

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I can't explain why, but I completely understand Kandi's explanations of why she does what she does regarding her mother. I have a similar dynamic with my own mother, to a much lesser extent. I cut my mother a lot of slack because of a hardship she has had to deal with her whole life, that she has no control over. I know she annoys people but I want them to be nice to her and not hurt her, because of her hardship. She isn't mean, just annoying. And my husband is very kind in the way he treats her. He is actually better towards her than I am. But it is something he does for me, because he loves me, and it helps me deal with my burden, which is her.  And I felt a kinship when Kandi said she would rather her feelings be hurt than her mom to be hurt. So I guess that is why I understand Kandi's thinking, because I am the same way. Now having said all that, my situation and Kandi's is different but the way we cope is the same.  I think Joyce is off her rocker, with a real brain disfunction,  and Kandi is right, that nothing you say, or if you get angry, is going to change that, so why  bother?

 

Heading back into the closet now, with an order of fried pickles and dark chocolate, for my therapy session with myself. Trust me, it works.

 

squash, please keep in mind I'm starting by giving you cyberhugs as I say the following:    I also belong to the my mom is challenging club, only I'm not nearly the diplomat you are.  My mom is a straight up asshole, very much, and by very much, I mean identical to Joyce with the exception that she's quicker on her feet, so the shoe has actually made contact.   Last weekend was the first time I'd said a word to her in 7 years.  And you know what?  Linda articulated precisely what I was gonna say about that.  It hasn't changed her one whit, it's changed how she relates to me.   On a larger scale though, this is just my opinion, I also believe that everyone who ever met my mother, my dad included, and accommodated rather than refused to accept the behavior?  Is an even bigger asshole.  It's awful and tragic if someone you love has gone through something powerful enough to transform them for life, but the honest to God truth is, they don't get to do the same thing to everyone they encounter because of it.   

 

 

But it's upsetting to her husband. I don't know anyone who has skin that thick. It's hurtful to listen to your MIL insult you, and then for your wife to cower and expect everyone to ignore it just because she does. Joyce isn't going to change, but it would show Todd that she accepts him as family and respects him if she let Joyce know that her vile speech about him and his family is unacceptable. If she doesn't put her foot down, she's going to lose him, eventually.

 

It's hard to understand Kandi's coping mechanism because she looks normal on the surface but it's a result of years of psychological and emotional manipulation.   Somebody who grew up without that level of applied control would be able to see this the way we do.  Kandi's role is to enable and everyone else in her life needs to enable her to enable for it to work.  She might lose him, but that will be his decision because what Todd keeps doing (and I say this fully understanding how fucked up it sounds) is engaging when he doesn't need to.   You don't keep responding to illogical mess with logic.  And since the worst damn thing you can think to do to a narcissist is ignore em, if everyone right now, within the sound of my voice lol, simply stopped giving Joyce air, the bitch would die.

 

well I seem to remember catching glimpses of her behavior early on.  Remember when she came to the lunch where Nene and Kim weren't speaking?  MJ tried to really push it on them to say hello.  I kind of gave the side eye to that a little bit.  Something about the way she responded when Nene was checking her. 

 

I agree with everyone on here.  The woman is vile.  And Kandi is too old to be putting up with that kind of shit from anyone.  Don't care if it IS your momma.   As another poster said, you teach others how to treat you.  She's just teaching MJ that she can continue on with no boundaries whatsoever.  Ugh.  It's sickening to watch.  I used to really love Kandi.  With all this MJ crap and letting her disrespect Todd constantly, it's really making me lose respect for her.

 

Kandi?  What do you think MJ is going to do if you disassociate yourself completely?  Walk away?  yeah, right.  Not if she takes away the money honey.  I can almost guarantee... your momma will be calling you first.  And don't take her back until she APOLOGIZES.   Every time she disrespects you, your husband, your friends or your child?  Walk away and take the money and your presence completely away again.  Keep doing it until it takes.  It might take awhile.  It may take years.  But she will learn.  Because she is only out for her own best interests.  She is a taker.  She does not care.  She cares only about who and what will benefit her and she behaves accordingly.  If she can't get anything from you, she does not care about you.  Simple as that.  It worked with my mother.   My mom is still the same with those who let her get away with it.  But she respects me now.  My family is amazed.

 

Girl, you betta pass that plate up in here.   The thing is, whenever you start this, it really does take a long ass time (for the other person) to become accustomed to.  Kandi fully recognizes that her mom is fucked up, that's only part I, she isn't willing to "risk their relationship" (in Kandi's mind) in order to fix it, that's part II.  

 

Oh, p.s. Aunt Baby Dinosaur?  Your nails are from 1984, they're hideous and disgusting and too fucking long for a woman older than 17.

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Disclaimer - I think MJ is crazier than a live chicken in a hot pot of grease. HOWEVER, if they are not acting for ratings/cameras I believe Todd is with Kandi for the money/fame as well. I don't get the "crazy in love; I have to have this woman" vibe based on what I see. Either he is not the affectionate type and it does not bother her or he is indifferent. So if the drama is not fake and he is putting up with Kool-Aid and the Gang and their non-sense, then money is a real good motivator. I don't like Kim and Kroy HOWEVER I believe Kroy would sell his testicles on the internet to make Kim happy. Same goes for Greg. But Peter, Apollo and Todd? They act like they went to a carnival won a bunch of tickets but all the good prizes were gone. Since they were leaving town the next day they were forced to choose a something and all that was left was Phaedra, Kandi and Cynthia

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Unfortunately, I think this is Mama Joyce's real behavior.

 

Further, any parent who tries to live off their children and then guilt them into it because "they owe it to them" (the parent), is shameful. Your job was to raise your child and you do it because that is your role, not because you are raising your future meal ticket.

 

Exactly.  Plus, any decent parent would raise their children to be autonomous individuals--not extensions of the parent so that mama becomes so enmeshed in their lives that you don't know where mama ends and the children begin.  And, calling Todd's parents sex workers?  This, coming from the same woman who sat up onstage giggling, rolling her neck and high-fiving Nene about how she would gladly strip to feed her kids instead of taking a mundane job working in a factory.

 

Every time I think this vile woman can't sink any lower, she manages to exceed my expectations.

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I caught an old reunion the other day, where Kandi talked about her breakup with AJ. Kandi said that after one particularly big blowup between AJ and Joyce, he told Kandi that it was too much and that he couldn't do it anymore. Now, I'm not saying that AJ was a catch, but Kandi has already lost one relationship because of her inability to establish boundaries between her mom and her significant other. She really should think about that at some point.

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But today, she wants to act like she got the vapors because Sharon called her a bitch. Bitch, please.

Exactly.  And this is after she told Sharon to "Shut the fuck up!"  Which MJ conveniently forgot about (just like she conveniently forgot about rushing Carmon during the dress fitting).

 

And who the hell is Tam to tell Carmon that she needs to apologize to MJ.  Tam wasn't there, and if Kandi and Carmon are straight with what happened then that's all she needs to know.  As someone else mentioned above, it seems like Tam is very jealous of Carmon being the "fun" best friend.  Her face was priceless when Rico (is that the designer's name?) called her the plain one.

 

Speaking of Rico - no one called him out on the fact that the "nude" mesh completely did not match Kandi's skin tone??  The hell?

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Did you notice how they both called her "Baby" as they fawned all over her? She has been treated like a hateful little princess all her life, I bet, and trained Kandi to give her her way as well.

Sunsheyen, I 100% agree with this.  It seems there was an episode or an article that said MJ was the youngest of 14.  It makes me want to puke how needy and manipulative that bitch is.  I have met several "babies of the family" and many of them have these traits but not at the rate MJ does.  I think the drama is being ramped up for this show as Kandi is the executive producer but there is a real truth to the fake drama.  It had to have come from somewhere as a story line and MJ and the group are not that great of actors.  I saw the smirks on many of the faces in that "BITCH" scene. 

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The best part of the episode, those big ass, red solo cups sitting on the table!  

And spaghetti with a whole bar of grated cheddar cheese on top!  Of course I'm italian so I take great offense to that.

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Yes, Kandi pretty much made all the points we have been wishing she'd make.  Not that they made a dent, but she got them into the official record.  She flat out denied her mother's fantasy version of events that she was barred from the house.  She stated that MJ's behavior so-called desire to take Riley out was purely a ploy to stick around and make more trouble, and that it was her own behavior that got her sent home that day, and that she would continue to find herself with less time spent with them if she didn't stop disrespecting Todd.

 

It was like shoveling into a blizzard, and didn't make a lick of difference, and WON'T make a lick of difference until she really restricts her access (and cash).  Now it's possible that the distance they both have mentioned has been a direct result of Kandi laying down the law and she just refuses to do it on tv.  I hope so.  But giving her a national television platform to broadcast her crazy is counterproductive if she really wants to reshape that behavior. 

 

My best friend had a toxic mother and she learned to tell her mother flat out that certain topics were off limits, and the moment she started on them over the phone, the phone call would be over.  If they started when my friend was at her mother's house, she would stand up and leave.  And then she actually had to follow through - having driven a half hour to her mom's and only been in the house for 5 minutes to say "We discussed this before, Mom, I'm leaving" and then going.  I can't say she 100% came around, but it certainly dampened the behavior.   Of course she was emotionally violent, but not physical like Joyce.  I can't imagine what would happen if Kandi ordered Joyce out of the house. 

 

I'd suggest she just meet Joyce for lunch on Mondays or something and talk to her on the phone.  And go to Joyce's house.  After all, she owns it.

 

I'd love to ask Kandi what her plans are for explaining to any child she has with Todd why grandma Joyce is so mean to Daddy.

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I think that Joyce's smirk was more that she thought Kandi was on her side at the time than she was faking.  She is completely delusional.  That is why she got mad when Kandi chastised her.  She went into Kandi being on "their side".  All she wants is to be right and for Kandi to agree with her.  Or, hell, Kandi to agree with her period.  Even when they discussed her dust-up with Carmon, Joyce kept saying that Kandi should have been on her side regardless of what she (Joyce) did.

 

I do not think Joyce is faking at all.  I think she is a bitch.  A friend of mine - the one who wrote Kandi's play - says that Joyce is a great person and a great mother so she believes this is all for TV but I cannot believe it.  It's too real for me.  I'm glad I only read the forums.  Well, mostly.  I watched this episode because I knew Mama Sharon would be on to put Joyce in her place.  I wish she would have put Joyce in a full Nelson or the sleeper hold.

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Honestly, if I was Todd's Mom, calling Mama Joyce a bitch would be the nicest thing I would say to her. 

 

@Quinn: Yes the Red Solo cups were definitely the breakout star of the episode. 

Re: the solo cups, all they needed was the names written in Sharpie on them.

 

I also think MJ and Todd's mom are playing it up for the camera. I caught a few smirks and Todd's mom was awfully quick to come back in and try to make nice. For whatever reason this feud IMO is just fro the show. No one gets called a prostitute on camera repeatedly and takes it that well. Nor does any son worth his salt allow those comments to go basically unchallenged. Todd was madder at Carmen than MJ.

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I really like Todd's mom...so far.  I liked the exchange they had on the phone when Sharon was at the airport and Todd was trying to make the bed.  When Todd jokingly said he doesn't make beds anymore because that is what a fiance is for and his mama said, "Todd I'm gonna kick your ass." or something to that affect.  She did a good job raising him knowing that you don't push a female around.  

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