Rachel & Jon: Bearded in Britain

[magemaud]

1 hour ago, gingerella said:

His mom doesn't strike me as someone who's family left her a 2 carat family heirloom either, which leaves me to assume its a CZ or a Moissanite, but no way is that stone real.

Even if somehow Jon’s mother inherited a big diamond, I think there’s no way Sister Abby would let it get out of the family (especially to a girl he barely knows.)  

[Jacobi331]

If she went to England by herself I wouldn't be so upset, but she brought a baby with her.  Then she finds out that he likes to fight and was refused a visitor's visa in the US.   Open your eyes Rachel.  Your children have just you to look out for them.  Don't expose them to someone who's this familiar with violence.  Go home and meet a nice guy locally or just go out with your friends and enjoy raising your children.  

[Belle0712]

does rachel have a nervous tick? she’s always seen sniffing or bugging her eyes. reminds me of the annoying self-absorbed woman from another season. loren. 

[AZChristian]

7 hours ago, Belle0712 said:

does rachel have a nervous tick? she’s always seen sniffing or bugging her eyes. reminds me of the annoying self-absorbed woman from another season. loren. 

Maybe she has allergies.  And she's in a place with all new stuff that could be affecting her eyes, nose, and throat.  

[gonecrackers]

Could also be nerves given the cameras etc.

[LGGirl]

On 9/14/2018 at 8:44 PM, Jacobi331 said:

If she went to England by herself I wouldn't be so upset, but she brought a baby with her.  Then she finds out that he likes to fight and was refused a visitor's visa in the US.   Open your eyes Rachel.  Your children have just you to look out for them.  Don't expose them to someone who's this familiar with violence.  Go home and meet a nice guy locally or just go out with your friends and enjoy raising your children.  

Agree 1000%.  Rachel strikes me as someone who lacks common sense, and is more in love with the fairytale.  

There is no way in hell Jon will be granted a visa into the US unless someone forks out a lot of money for a lawyer.  

[Chalby]

On 9/5/2018 at 9:03 AM, Lily247 said:

I think that if a mother moves away from her child to a different continent while that child is young to get remarried, something is inherently wrong with that mother. Incredibly selfish. 

Maybe Rachel is being unselfish because she coparents with her ex and she knows it would kill him if she moved both daughters out of country. I do not fault her for falling in love, and Jon could be a whole lot worse. So far I don't see a problem.

[SunnyBeBe]

To me, as a parent you have a responsibility to protect your children from harm.  You have to use proper judgment when exposing your children to people, especially, those that you don't know well.  One of the red flags is a criminal background. Plus, Jon's family has not been very enthusiastic about the relationship. I think they know.  Rushing in and not thoroughly vetting this man is very risky.  I hope for the children's sake that he is not violent with them or Rachel.  Sadly, people with histories, often are on their best behavior in the beginning and then they show their true colors.  

[AussieBabe]

I do wonder why none of his friends and family seem supportive. In a bonus scene where they told his mum about the engagement, he was saying they have enough to overcome and don't need negative people/thoughts. She said Rachel was nice enough. I don't think it's a Pole/Mother situation, but she seemed to have some apprehension. I get it. In her view, they had only spent 10 physical days together, and they announced an engagement. To the average person, that would be a bit alarming. I feel like if the friends have worries or concerns, they need to speak up. They're the ones who see him day in and day out and presumably know how he is.

[Horrified]

For the love of God, someone please give Rachel a hanky.

After the one-thousandth time of using her finger, thumb, knuckle to wipe away her tears, I was yelling at the TV.  Girlfriend, I sympathize with you, I really do, but STOP WITH THE FINGER WIPES.

[Lily247]

10 hours ago, Chalby said:

Maybe Rachel is being unselfish because she coparents with her ex and she knows it would kill him if she moved both daughters out of country. I do not fault her for falling in love, and Jon could be a whole lot worse. So far I don't see a problem.

I dont think shes being unselfish, I think she has no other choice legally. 

This may seem like a "fairy tale" right now, but once it stops being hard, all the hurdles to jump over are through, and they start spending every single day together, I doubt there will still be a fairy tale. 

Plus what wierd me out was Rachel's horror that he has had casual relationships. From the previews, I had assumed that prior to meeting her. He had been dating other women while chatting with Rachel - in ny mind, not such a big deal given that they had never met. And by the way, I do think that he had been dating local women while chatting with Rachel ... Rachel seemed to put a lot of weight and definition to this "relationship" that should have just been a "long distance flirty friend who you travel to SEE if you like each other." I just wish someone would tell her to slow her roll and stop being so ... needy. I dont get as much of that vibe from him though. He is hard to read. 

Edited September 17, 2018 by Lily247

[Former Nun]

Can't a pretty ring, given as a promise of marriage, be an engagement ring without any high monetary value?  Without a precious diamond?  Couldn't it be a simple cigar band? It's a pretty ring and she's engaged.

[SunnyBeBe]

Jon's sister was practically telling Rachel to run for it.  When the man's own family is protective of innocent people, it's not a good sign.  I'm always suspicious of someone who has to keep telling you to "trust me."  I have found that the most trustworthy people are those that never have to tell you that. 

[Lily247]

25 minutes ago, SunnyBeBe said:

Jon's sister was practically telling Rachel to run for it.  When the man's own family is protective of innocent people, it's not a good sign.  I'm always suspicious of someone who has to keep telling you to "trust me."  I have found that the most trustworthy people are those that never have to tell you that. 

I think they just dont want their son moving thousands of miles away to play dad to a baby he just met. 

[SunnyBeBe]

It makes me very suspicious of a mother who heartily encourages a child to call a newly met man daddy, when they are not married to the man, the man is not the child's father and they don't even know this person very well.  Huge red flag by mother, imo.  She needs parenting classes or counseling. 

[Former Nun]

Guess I'm in the minorty...maybe because I could be Jon's grandmother (agewise).  I think he's a cute guy and that beard is the latest "statement" at least in the U.S.   I hope he's as cute without it.  I do think he's a dim bulb, but a cute one.  I think he sincerely WANTS to be a faithful family man, but I don't think he has what it takes.

[Chalby]

12 minutes ago, Former Nun said:

Guess I'm in the minorty...maybe because I could be Jon's grandmother (agewise).  I think he's a cute guy and that beard is the latest "statement" at least in the U.S.   I hope he's as cute without it.  I do think he's a dim bulb, but a cute one.  I think he sincerely WANTS to be a faithful family man, but I don't think he has what it takes.

I have to agree with you. I am not as cautious as others on this board because Rachel and Jon were communicating daily for over a year. He fully intended to be present for Lucy's delivery and that got nixed. Although they've only spent ten days together, they have actually been 'together' a lot longer. I was engaged within 3 months, married within 7 months and married 26 years later. For me, I had been in enough relationships to know what I would put up with and what I wouldn't. Maybe Rachel is the same.

[iwasish]

33 minutes ago, Chalby said:

I have to agree with you. I am not as cautious as others on this board because Rachel and Jon were communicating daily for over a year. He fully intended to be present for Lucy's delivery and that got nixed. Although they've only spent ten days together, they have actually been 'together' a lot longer. I was engaged within 3 months, married within 7 months and married 26 years later. For me, I had been in enough relationships to know what I would put up with and what I wouldn't. Maybe Rachel is the same.

He had to know that his criminal conviction would  keep him from getting a visa to be there for Lucy’s birth. I believe he pled guilty to the charges against him and  when you plead guilty all the repercussions stuff  like visa issues are made clear.. perhaps he didnt care at that time because he  had no reason to go to  the US.  But that’s the way the cookie crumbles. You play you pay. He wanted to be mister tough guy, getting plastered  and fighting for the honor of  some probably equally drunk woman he was trying to impress or just for the hell of it.  So if he has to suffer because of his own stupidity too bad. Fortunately Lucy isn’t his daughter  and she won’t even remember him if Rachel  calls things off.  Rachel needs to wise up too. She has an older daughter that she seems to consider an obstacle to her fantasy of true love and  is using Lucy to try and  play with Jon’s affection . The situation she is in is due to her behavior. No one forced her to have unprotected sex with a one night stand.  Now she has a child without any father at all.

Both of these people need to  accept that they’re responsible for the situation they find themselves in and stop with the “it’s so unfair, we have a right to be happy and  blah blah blah”

[trimthatfat]

On 9/14/2018 at 11:44 PM, Jacobi331 said:

If she went to England by herself I wouldn't be so upset, but she brought a baby with her.  Then she finds out that he likes to fight and was refused a visitor's visa in the US.   Open your eyes Rachel.  Your children have just you to look out for them.  Don't expose them to someone who's this familiar with violence.  Go home and meet a nice guy locally or just go out with your friends and enjoy raising your children.  

It is so telling that every one of Jon’s family members and friends has basically warned her that perhaps this isn’t the best idea. They know Jon best and if they are apprehensive, it’s likely for good reason. Not only do they seem worried for Rachel, they seemed worried for Lucy.

[spankydoll]

2 hours ago, trimthatfat said:

It is so telling that every one of Jon’s family members and friends has basically warned her that perhaps this isn’t the best idea. They know Jon best and if they are apprehensive, it’s likely for good reason. Not only do they seem worried for Rachel, they seemed worried for Lucy.

It did appear that many of Jon's friends and relations had something at the tip of their tongue that they couldn't quite say. If he was a raving, violent lunatic he wouldn't have all of those friends and still have a relationship with his family. Right??? I certainly hope so.

[SunnyBeBe]

11 hours ago, trimthatfat said:

It is so telling that every one of Jon’s family members and friends has basically warned her that perhaps this isn’t the best idea. They know Jon best and if they are apprehensive, it’s likely for good reason. Not only do they seem worried for Rachel, they seemed worried for Lucy.

So true.  People can be a good friend, good brother, good son, but, still have rage issues that make the person dangerous and worrisome. Jon's people may love him for the good in him, but, not like certain aspects of his personality.  Often, people with rage issues don't vent on everyone.

[Neurochick]

On 9/14/2018 at 11:44 PM, Jacobi331 said:

If she went to England by herself I wouldn't be so upset, but she brought a baby with her.  Then she finds out that he likes to fight and was refused a visitor's visa in the US.   Open your eyes Rachel.  Your children have just you to look out for them.  Don't expose them to someone who's this familiar with violence.  Go home and meet a nice guy locally or just go out with your friends and enjoy raising your children.  

I think this is a good statement.

I think Rachel feels that if she meets someone from far away, her life will change for the better.  She believes the fairy tale, the stuff in romantic comedies.  She wouldn't want to be with a local guy because then her life would be...well boring.  I know how that feels.  When I was younger, I used to want to meet someone who would "take me away" but it never happened.  Now I'm grateful that it never happened because who knows what would have happened to me if the "away" was worse than where I was.  The bad thing about Rachel is she has two young children who have no say in any of this.  

ETA:  Why does every behavior, every quirk, every little thing have to be some diagnosis?  Why can't people just be who they are?

Edited September 18, 2018 by Neurochick

[glitterpussy]

I've though of TBI perhaps (from football and/or fighting), or maybe some kind of mental illness? Causing impulse control issues (sexual acting out, violence, drinking to self medicate)? SOMETHING is making his friends/family freak out. Usually, when you have a generic playboy type guy that finally settles down, the family is HAPPY.

If it's an injury or illness they may well love him in spite of something he can't control, but still be worried for a dumb American girl and her tiny baby....

[AussieBabe]

It has to be more than him possibly moving to the States and away from them. I'm sure his friends have partners or children or lives of their own. Grown children move locally or internationally all the time. His sister seemed to be warning her. His mother seems weary.. All of his nearest and dearest seem to want to say something or be hiding something. Remember when they went out for drinks and the one friend was like "shh shh shh" to the other friend when he started asking questions? Just weird. Usually when you're being hushed or hushing someone, it's because you don't want something to come out. Whatever it is, they need to say it.

It's very possible he sustained some type of injury while fighting. I know bar brawls or drunken fights can result in people getting hit over the head with bottles and chairs and getting their heads slammed. Jon played American football and that sport is no stranger to concussions and other head injuries. 

[Neurochick]

I don't think it's anything.  Nothing sinister, nothing at all.  His family probably doesn't think it's a good idea for Jon to marry a woman and raise someone else's child, they might even think he's batshit for wanting to do that.  But since they're on TV, no one really wants to say anything like that.  

It's not always an injury or mental illness, sometimes people are the way they are.

Edited September 18, 2018 by Neurochick

[eatsleep]

On 9/16/2018 at 1:49 AM, Belle0712 said:

does rachel have a nervous tick? she’s always seen sniffing or bugging her eyes. reminds me of the annoying self-absorbed woman from another season. loren. 

Definitely a nervous tick! She keeps pursing and moving her lips, sniffing. 

On 9/5/2018 at 12:03 PM, Lily247 said:

I think that if a mother moves away from her child to a different continent while that child is young to get remarried, something is inherently wrong with that mother. Incredibly selfish. Also selfish when q father does it but the mother has been carrying that child for 9 months. SMH. The only exception is in q case like Hazel where (presumably) she is doing it to eventually get her child back and give him a better future.

Yes, I'm a single mom of two kids (just out of a LTR). My geographical limit for dating as a 45 minute radius, and that is mostly bc of my kids. I recently reconnected w/ an old (pre-parenthood) flame who lives 1100 miles away and wants us to pick up where we left off and I had to say no, solely due to the kids. When you have kids and the other parent is alive and present, you just cannot do that. MAYBE for work, if you make a strong argument and have the funds to continue visitation. But not for some guy whom you've never even met in person. That is so irresponsible and childish. The stability of the kids should be the priority of every parent. 

On 9/17/2018 at 2:41 PM, Chalby said:

I have to agree with you. I am not as cautious as others on this board because Rachel and Jon were communicating daily for over a year. He fully intended to be present for Lucy's delivery and that got nixed. Although they've only spent ten days together, they have actually been 'together' a lot longer. I was engaged within 3 months, married within 7 months and married 26 years later. For me, I had been in enough relationships to know what I would put up with and what I wouldn't. Maybe Rachel is the same.

But how deeply and honestly were they communicating. Did he know she was casually sexing other guys? Did she really know what he was doing? The married FWBs and so on? They were in touch but likely only telling the other what they thought the other wanted to hear. And if she really knew this man and his situation and his flaws, why did she expect him to be at Lucy's delivery? Surely, if their conversations were intimate and revealing, she would not have been blindsighted by that roadblock. There is a lot they don't know about each other. And he knows NOTHING about her 8 year old.

[Neurochick]

It's all about fantasy for Rachel.  

I don't think that just because one is a mother, they have to chain themselves to their children.  However, parents are responsible for their minor children.  Even if Rachel didn't have an older child, even if Lucy's father was dead it still would not be a great idea to relocate to another country for a fantasy man Rachel doesn't really know.  

Relationships aren't 100% about sex or attraction.  It's about mundane shit like taking out the garbage, cleaning the house/apartment, changing diapers, going to the supermarket, putting gas in the car, taking public transportation.  If you're with a guy in your city and it doesn't work out, okay, but in another country and it doesn't work out?  That could be a whole different ballgame.

[Gobi]

To me, the scene with Jon talking about FWB seemed weirdly edited, as if TLC was changing what he was saying hypothetically to make it seem like something he had done. I could be wrong, of course. Seems odd that anyone would tell their fiance that they had slept with married people, especially odd saying that to them in front of a friend, too.

Edited September 18, 2018 by Gobi

[glitterpussy]

1 hour ago, Neurochick said:

It's not always an injury or mental illness, sometimes people are the way they are.

Well absolutely, yes--maybe he's just a drunk, slutty, broke brawler who lives in his mom's basement, and all his family and friends think he's nuts for wanting to marry this frumpy american with two kids, but are too polite to say so on TV.

Either way, Rachel isn't making great decisions for her children. Like you said, its all about the fantasy for her.

[iwasish]

How many arrests does Jon have? How many convictions? 

The number of fights he claims to have participated in... is that documented by anyone other than Jon ? I thought that one friend  hinted that it was much more than  50. 

Jon works as a garbage recycler/sorter, how is he going to afford a place for the family to live in the US if he is allowed here? If not and they marry anyway and she goes back and forth every few months, does she want to spend that time in his moms house’? He needs to get a place for the three of them (4 if her other daughter comes, possibly 5i if they have a child of their own)  to be together.  I don’t think Rachel can afford several round trip trips for her and the kids.  Put Jon in close quarters with a couple of kids, little  money and see if he can handle the stress.  

Rachel better think long and hard about putting her children in what could turn out to be a very bad situation.

[TwirlyGirly]

I'm going to go out on a limb here and defend Jon and Rachel (and then quickly duck and run to avoid being hit by the rotten tomatoes I'm sure will be flung in my direction ;))

First, in regards to the manner in which Jon and Rachel met and the way their relationship developed (online as opposed to in person). I understand the dangers of online "dating". I really do. And, in no way am I minimizing those dangers. However, in the days prior to the invention of the automobile and other forms of mass transportation, entire courtships took place through letter writing - often over a period of a couple of years. One advantage to online dating over letter writing is the couple has the ability to see and speak to each other using Facetime/Skype/etc. which allows them to analyze tone/body language/etc. Perhaps we should reconsider the value of relationships which begin - and continue for some time over the internet - in light of this, and not simply dismiss it as not having any real value in getting to know someone. No, it may not be "as good as" spending time with someone "in person," but it provides a lot more "clues" into a person's personality/habits/etc. than letter writing ever did.

Second, it may very well be Jon is telling the truth about his past issues with violence. As in: they're in the past. People do change, often when they mature and finally realize their behavior is preventing them from obtaining what they really want (love/family/commitment/stability). Some people don't change, but talk a good game. I'm cautiously optimistic in regards to Jon. He loves Rachel and Lucy. You can see it in his eyes whenever he looks at them. He may be absolutely telling the truth when he says "I never had anything to lose before." Finally finding something you desperately want, realizing how badly you need it to be happy, and admitting to yourself how easily you can lose it, can institute profound changes in people. Jon may be one of those people.

Third, as others have mentioned, I think Jon's height (or lack thereof) may figure prominently in the figure he gave for the number of fights in which he'd been involved. We all know men are threatened by any affronts to their masculinity, and tend to exaggerate (what they believe) are proofs of their masculinity. It's known, for example, men exaggerate the number of sexual partners they have, while women tend to understate the number of sexual partners they've had. Short men have their masculinity challenged all the time, by both men and women. It wouldn't surprise me to discover Jon has actually had far fewer physical altercations than he claimed, but perhaps he's exaggerated the number (or included arguments that became very heated but not physical) because in his mind, that proves he's a "real man" (note: what constitutes a "real man" depends upon the environment in which you're raised. Brought up in a "rough neighborhood", physically defending yourself and others may have been the measure of a man where HE grew up, as despicable as that idea is to many of us).

Fourth, Rachel said she and her ex have joint custody of her eldest daughter. Joint custody can mean many things, and joint custody agreements can be renegotiated. I don't think one parent living on the west coast while the other lives on the east coast is substantially different than one parent living in the US while the other lives in England. Couples make it work, especially if one parent has a great job on one coast and the other gets an job offer they can't pass up on the opposite coast (yes, I know that's not the case here). Making it work means both parents, and the child, have input into how the custody details are arranged and all three are willing to make compromises. For example (and I'm not saying Jon and Rachel and her ex should do this, only this is one possibility), perhaps the joint custody arrangement could be the daughter spends six months in New Mexico, then six months in England - and is enrolled in online schooling. Yes, there are definitely negatives to such an arrangement, but there are positives as well. We shouldn't discount the value of children being exposed to different cultures at a young age, for example. And switching between parents once or twice a year, instead of perhaps every other weekend and school vacations (I don't know if that's the arrangement they have now), may be less disrupting for the child.


Ducking and running now! 

Edited September 19, 2018 by TwirlyGirly

[AZChristian]

No stones from here, @TwirlyGirly.  I think these two have a shot at success.  I just get tired of the constant "It's not f-a-a-a-a-i-r" and eye wiping from someone who should be more emotionally mature and familiar with tissues.

[libgirl2]

38 minutes ago, AZChristian said:

No stones from here, @TwirlyGirly.  I think these two have a shot at success.  I just get tired of the constant "It's not f-a-a-a-a-i-r" and eye wiping from someone who should be more emotionally mature and familiar with tissues.

No stones from me either. I think out of all the couples they are one that actually love each other. I don't see this as a drama set up ala the others. Neither is it that Jon wants a green card to get the heck out of the UK ala Hazel. 

[gonecrackers]

No throwing here as good points made... but I do still question IF they didn't know each other prior why she'd take a chance on someone with such a bad temper. They haven't settled in together yet; this is as his sister said, the 'honeymoon' phase, so I don't believe they truly know each other (goes both ways) yet. It's not easy for someone to just overcome a temper (possibly) based on insecurity w/o some real work on themselves, so for someone with kids this is the type of thing that should be a pass. His friends & family also seem genuinely concerned.

Although there are things that point to them having known each other longer than what is being stated on the show, the rumor Lucy really is his, etc., so as always with shows it could be overblown, & they did most of this just to get together & will be fine (hopefully).

Edited September 20, 2018 by gonecrackers

[Witchz]

Im not sure if this has already been mentioned but Im going to give my guess about Jons friends and family seeming so unaccepting of this relationship. I think that Jon is wanting a beard and Im not talking about facial hair. Something struck me as really off when his friend was questioning him about Jons change of heart and Jon answered with I met her and fell in love and everything changed. That meeting with another person close to Jon acting so suspicious about Jon and Racheland discouraging seemed more than just worried about whether or not they will make it. 

Also could have something to do with the reference to "open" relationship maybe more open than what Rachel was thinking? I think it would make sense with the fighting in bars too !! 

I wonder if Rachel has seen any of these girlfriends on his social media ? Like before they were a thing - I would be curious to see if he has any evidence of his seeing so many women and the relationships ? 

Edited September 19, 2018 by Witchz
Formatting on phone terrible

[doyouevengohere]

I don't think it's fair that Rachel was in England for 2 weeks and we didn't even get to see them sing karaoke in person.  I feel "frauded".

Edited September 19, 2018 by doyouevengohere

[UniqueHandle]

On 9/18/2018 at 2:51 PM, glitterpussy said:

I've though of TBI perhaps (from football and/or fighting), or maybe some kind of mental illness? Causing impulse control issues (sexual acting out, violence, drinking to self medicate)? SOMETHING is making his friends/family freak out. Usually, when you have a generic playboy type guy that finally settles down, the family is HAPPY.

If it's an injury or illness they may well love him in spite of something he can't control, but still be worried for a dumb American girl and her tiny baby....

THIS! My 11 year old has a TBI from a trampoline accident that happened when she was 5. She suffers from severe migraines but she also has drastic mood swings and and sometimes when she is stressed she will vomit for no reason except - stress. The very first episode they showed Jon's talking head and he mentioned playing American Football I literally said out loud to myself "head injury".  He has the same far away look in his eyes my daughter sometimes gets. In the episode when he was walking to the train station and he kept vomiting, I said out loud to myself, "oh my gosh.... I bet he has a TBI." 

 

I hope Rachel is patient.  If it is a TBI, it's not easy. My daughter looks absolutely normal, is in 6th grade doing 8th grade work and is a complete angel but sometimes she is off the rails with her moods and it isn't her fault. Stupid trampoline. 

[iwasish]

Jon commented that  he had nothing in his life before that he could lose by fighting and now he has Rachel and Lucy. Well what if they get together and it doesn’t work out, will the loss  of his family send him spiralling back to the old Jon and turn that anger on Rachel for leaving him?

I agree that on the surface they appear to have a chance to make it work, but that whole fighting thing that he tries to pass off as youthful  hi-jinks  fueled by testosterone and booze worries me. Even his friends seem skeptical that it’s going to last.

Have they even discussed how much it will cost to live as a family in the Uk? Jon doesn’t make a lot. And what skills does Rachel have that will allow her to take months off at a time to go to visit him in the UK (assuming he never gets a visa). What about Ella? What if there’s a custody issue? He dad may not want her anywhere  near Jon. What if Lucy’s father decides he wants to be involved in her life? Getting that visa for him is the least of their issues.  Will Jon be able to control his anger issues when all these other possible factors come into play?

[Lily247]

On 9/18/2018 at 3:51 PM, glitterpussy said:

I've though of TBI perhaps (from football and/or fighting), or maybe some kind of mental illness? Causing impulse control issues (sexual acting out, violence, drinking to self medicate)? SOMETHING is making his friends/family freak out. Usually, when you have a generic playboy type guy that finally settles down, the family is HAPPY.

If it's an injury or illness they may well love him in spite of something he can't control, but still be worried for a dumb American girl and her tiny baby....

I dont think that Jon's family and friends are freaking out about him getting married, I truly believe that they dont think Rachel is the right choice for him and that's why they seem less tha  enthusiastic. It must be a British thing to be so polite about it idk. 

[goofygirl]

Can't she just move to the UK with BOTH girls and make some kind of deal with the Dad of the first girl?  Otherwise, she's got to pick one daughter over the other.  It's sort of obvious, Lucy wins in the daughter sweepstakes.

[spankydoll]

2 hours ago, Lily247 said:

I dont think that Jon's family and friends are freaking out about him getting married, I truly believe that they dont think Rachel is the right choice for him and that's why they seem less tha  enthusiastic. It must be a British thing to be so polite about it idk. 

My experience with the Brits are painfully polite. I've been to London a few times since the last election and everyone was.very delicate in their comments  

[Chalby]

On 9/18/2018 at 1:21 PM, eatsleep said:

And if she really knew this man and his situation and his flaws, why did she expect him to be at Lucy's delivery? Surely, if their conversations were intimate and revealing, she would not have been blindsighted by that roadblock. There is a lot they don't know about each other. And he knows NOTHING about her 8 year old.

If I recall correctly, They became closer when Rachel learned she was pregnant. She didn't have false expectations of Jon, it was his suggestion of wanting to be present for Lucy's birth. I got the impression that they became more serious as a 'couple' during her pregnancy. I have to say, Jon has had enough casual relationships to know what he's looking for, as well. I truly believe they meet each others' needs, and I commend him for stepping up re: Lucy. A man who pays daycare for another man's child (because he feels love for said child) is aces in my book.

[Chalby]

16 hours ago, TwirlyGirly said:

I'm going to go out on a limb here and defend Jon and Rachel (and then quickly duck and run to avoid being hit by the rotten tomatoes I'm sure will be flung in my direction ;))
 

Thank you for your post, I agree with everything you said.

[iwasish]

8 hours ago, goofygirl said:

Can't she just move to the UK with BOTH girls and make some kind of deal with the Dad of the first girl?  Otherwise, she's got to pick one daughter over the other.  It's sort of obvious, Lucy wins in the daughter sweepstakes.

If I were her father I wouldn’t let my daughter anywhere near Jon. I actually hope her father gives Rachel a royal hard time over Jon having contact with Ella at all. 

[eatsleep]

11 hours ago, Chalby said:

If I recall correctly, They became closer when Rachel learned she was pregnant. 

Well, obviously, they couldn't have been too serious before the pregnancy! LOL

 

11 hours ago, Chalby said:

She didn't have false expectations of Jon, it was his suggestion of wanting to be present for Lucy's birth. 

It may have been Jon's suggestion to attend the delivery. But honest had Jon been w/ her prior to being denied the visa? Had he told her about the drinking and brawling and arrests and convictions? Or was she blindsighted by that entire part of his life when he told her his visa application got denied? If she knew then what she knows now (he may never be able to visit or live in the US) would she have gotten so attached?

19 hours ago, UniqueHandle said:

THIS! My 11 year old has a TBI from a trampoline accident that happened when she was 5. She suffers from severe migraines but she also has drastic mood swings and and sometimes when she is stressed she will vomit for no reason except - stress. The very first episode they showed Jon's talking head and he mentioned playing American Football I literally said out loud to myself "head injury".  He has the same far away look in his eyes my daughter sometimes gets. In the episode when he was walking to the train station and he kept vomiting, I said out loud to myself, "oh my gosh.... I bet he has a TBI." 

 

I hope Rachel is patient.  If it is a TBI, it's not easy. My daughter looks absolutely normal, is in 6th grade doing 8th grade work and is a complete angel but sometimes she is off the rails with her moods and it isn't her fault. Stupid trampoline. 

Sorry to hear about this! 

But what you say is a really good theory and might even explain why he lives w/ his mother and suddenly wants to settle down...if his TBI was severe enough. My father lived w/ a TBI for 20 yrs following his stroke and he was basically just a step or two above vegetative. So the effects of some of these TBIs can be quite profound.

[eatsleep]

On 9/19/2018 at 8:34 AM, TwirlyGirly said:

Fourth, Rachel said she and her ex have joint custody of her eldest daughter. Joint custody can mean many things, and joint custody agreements can be renegotiated. I don't think one parent living on the west coast while the other lives on the east coast is substantially different than one parent living in the US while the other lives in England. Couples make it work, especially if one parent has a great job on one coast and the other gets an job offer they can't pass up on the opposite coast (yes, I know that's not the case here). Making it work means both parents, and the child, have input into how the custody details are arranged and all three are willing to make compromises. For example (and I'm not saying Jon and Rachel and her ex should do this, only this is one possibility), perhaps the joint custody arrangement could be the daughter spends six months in New Mexico, then six months in England - and is enrolled in online schooling. Yes, there are definitely negatives to such an arrangement, but there are positives as well. We shouldn't discount the value of children being exposed to different cultures at a young age, for example. And switching between parents once or twice a year, instead of perhaps every other weekend and school vacations (I don't know if that's the arrangement they have now), may be less disrupting for the child.
 

I don't see how a situation like that would ever be considered to be in the best interest of a child. Mother? Yes. But not the child. How would she ever bond w/ a new half sister and step father being away for 6 months at a time? Or make friends? Or maintain old ones? i really hope no one does that to her! But yes, traveling overseas when on break from school, etc., is great! 

13 hours ago, goofygirl said:

Can't she just move to the UK with BOTH girls and make some kind of deal with the Dad of the first girl?  Otherwise, she's got to pick one daughter over the other.  It's sort of obvious, Lucy wins in the daughter sweepstakes.

Ugh, I hate when parents do this! Start a new family out of town and leave the older kid(s)...

Not sure why any father would willingly go along w/ having child moved thousands of miles away.

Just a bad, bad situation w/ no good solutions :(

[gingerella]

On 8/13/2018 at 3:08 PM, JocelynCavanaugh said:

Maybe Rachel was terrified of raising her child around people with such atrocious grammar. "Babies" is plural, not possessive, Grandma!

Thank you for the laugh! Seriously, that 'so called' evidence is pretty funny. I cant take that seriously at all, it's written by someone with too much time on their hands and the need for a moment in the social media spotlight. That and I just cant really care all that much about these folks, they're so incredibly dimwitted the only thing I think strongly about any of them is that they should all be sterilized so they can no longer pro create and spread their dimwitted gene pool any further.

[magemaud]

I've seen two different theories about Lucy's parentage on this forum and elsewhere. One, that Jon is really her bio dad and that (obviously) he and Rachel met before and they are basically scamming the 90 Day Franchise. The other was put forth by a woman claiming to be Lucy's paternal grandmother and that Rachel and her married son had a relationship (not just a one night stand) which resulted in Rachel's pregnancy. But from what I can tell, both are just speculation because I haven't seen any definitive confirmation of either theory. Bueller...Bueller...anyone? 

[RedBagWithMakeup]

2 hours ago, magemaud said:

I've seen two different theories about Lucy's parentage on this forum and elsewhere. One, that Jon is really her bio dad and that (obviously) he and Rachel met before and they are basically scamming the 90 Day Franchise. The other was put forth by a woman claiming to be Lucy's paternal grandmother and that Rachel and her married son had a relationship (not just a one night stand) which resulted in Rachel's pregnancy. But from what I can tell, both are just speculation because I haven't seen any definitive confirmation of either theory. Bueller...Bueller...anyone? 

Thank you. I was unaware of the speculation of Jon being the bio dad. 

[iwasish]

If shes really his daughter, I would have thought his meeting her,supposedly for the first time , would have been more emotional.

Rachel was blindsided by the open relationship business because she THOUGHT Jon had been as honest about his past to her, as she had been to him , about hers. Clearly he left a bit of stuff out. And I think she’s wondering what else there might  be.