Season 2 Discussion

[iwasish]

3 minutes ago, Cherrio said:

I haven't read the live chat, so I am curious about the Jesse/Darcy last night together story.

Jesse claims Darcy's door was open?  Bullshit.  

Who would leave a hotel door open ?  Late at night?  Anywhere?

Right Jesse...........

I think he meant “door” as a euphemism. He’s very gentlemanly you know, he’d never dick and run.

[PityFree]

 Jesse originally rented the hotel room. I bet anything he kept a copy of the key. (he had them give him two because he  thought he might get lucky with Darcy.)

[iwasish]

1 minute ago, PityFree said:

 Jesse originally rented the hotel room. I bet anything he kept a copy of the key. (he had them give him two because he  thought he might get lucky with Darcy.)

They usually give you two. At least in my experience, even I when zone am the only one staying.

[Kareem]

Usual 8 million commercials and previews of Shaun about to get a trauma over these people.  Looks wild.  

[Chalby]

I am only 20 minutes into my recorded episode when I had to shut it off to write. I cannot stand Paul, he is such a loser. Seriously, Paul has some sort of mental disorder that the show is not sharing. When he phoned Karina in the hospital when she had to undergo her D&C , he was whining and wanted HER to comfort HIM because he said he was afraid of "losing her". Bullshit! She has the attention for a REAL tragedy and he's doing his fake drama and fake crying about losing a child and possibly losing her, blah blah... saying anything to get the camera back on him. I wish I could reach in and slap him. Of course this happened right after Jon Jon the Idiot Son was whining about  wedding ring? Add to that the horror of the shared knowledge (thanks Tarik's brother) that Hazel is able to 'keep up' with Tarik's sexual habits? WTF? Are there not any normal people who want to get married. Every one of the men involved has some sort of sexual expectation (which we all know bodes well for a happy marriage). Jesse? - enuf said. I feel so filthy after watching this, I need a shower.

Edited October 8, 2018 by Chalby

[PityFree]

6 minutes ago, iwasish said:

They usually give you two. At least in my experience, even I when zone am the only one staying.

 When I’ve traveled (mostly for work) they usually ask me how many key cards I want. Uusually I take two in case I misplace one. 

[endure]

They all deserve exactly what they are getting........most of them are a bunch of lying losers.  I have no compassion for any of them except Lucy.

[MoodyGirl]

I just can’t with Rachel’s only wardrobe of jeans. Who goes to a pre-wedding dinner to meet friends and family wearing old dirty jeans and a blah shirt and no make up. And in the previews of the tell all she is wearing the same damn jeans. OMG— Please wear something else. 

[pinky33]

I witnessed my 5 y/o son throw a lego at his 3 y/o brother's head right in front of me. When I reprimanded him, he insisted he didn't do it. I am more likely to believe my 5 y/o son didn't throw the lego than I am to believe Jesse didn't have sex with Darcey.

[endure]

4 minutes ago, Chalby said:

I am only 20 minutes into my recorded episode when I had to shut it off to write. I cannot stand Paul, he is such a loser. Seriously, Paul has some sort of mental disorder that the show is not sharing. When he phoned Karina in the hospital when she had to undergo her D&C want her to comfort HIM because he said he was afraid of "losing her". Bullshit! She has the attention for a REAL tragedy and he's doing his fake drama and fake crying about losing a child and possibly losing her, blah blah... I wish I could reach in and slap him. Of course this happened right after Jon Jon the Idiot Son was whining about  wedding ring? Add to that the horror of the shared knowledge (thanks Tarik's brother) that Hazel is able to 'keep up' with Tarik's sexual habits? WTF? Are there not any normal people who want to get married. Every one of the men involved has some sort of sexual expectation (which we all know bodes well for a happy marriage). Jesse? - enuf said. I feel so filthy after watching this, I need a shower.

I think Paul is an extremely awkward person, I don't think he can help some of his reactions.  I just posted that I have no compassion for any of them  ~  Paul 'might' be my only exception. I don't think he's deceptive like some of the others.

18 minutes ago, PityFree said:

 Jesse originally rented the hotel room. I bet anything he kept a copy of the key. (he had them give him two because he  thought he might get lucky with Darcy.)

Yup and he did just that and then lied about it too!

[Cherrio]

15 minutes ago, PityFree said:

 When I’ve traveled (mostly for work) they usually ask me how many key cards I want. Uusually I take two in case I misplace one. 

Heck with his forehead, he could use it as a door stopper for at least a few doors.

[Chalby]

When did Grandma get the Michael tattoo? I just noticed it when they were saying goodbye at the airport. Did I miss that during an episode? (Also, I am surprised Americans haven't rebelled against this show as it really portrays Americans as being a few bricks short a load. Meanwhile, the Americans I know are anything but stupid and/ or naive.)

Edited October 8, 2018 by Chalby
Forgot the closing " )" parenthesis

[Chalby]

24 minutes ago, endure said:

Paul 'might' be my only exception. I don't think he's deceptive like some of the others.

I feel the opposite as Paul has lied his way throughout this relationship and makes reckless choices that impact others. He asks his mother for advice all the time and follows none of it. Karina just gets out of the hospital and comes home to all these gifts, and then Paul confesses he's broke. I don't think she knows what to believe, so that's why she doesn't appear to take anything he says seriously.

[Chalby]

Oh dear, I started watching again. (Why do I torture myself?) Jesse is so emotionally abusive it's frightening. Meanwhile Darcey is emotionally stunted. When Jesse is trying to justify why he's in New York, he appeared desperate and pathetic. I wondered who paid for the trip and hotel rooms? Jesse and Darcy are users. Meanwhile, if I hear the phrase "in the name of love/ for the sake of love" I will gag. Neither of them knows the meaning of the word.

[SabineElisabeth]

19 minutes ago, Chalby said:

 (Also, I am surprised Americans haven't rebelled against this show as it really portrays Americans as being a few bricks short a load. Meanwhile, the Americans I know are anything but stupid and/ or naive.

The show also (mostly) portrays the foreign love interests as lying scammers who are willing to do anything for a chance to come to the US....and most foreigners I know are anything but lying scammers desperate to come to the US.  In other words, I don't think the people on this show (both the American citizens and the non-American citizens) are a very accurate representation of the two groups taken as a whole.  Intentionally, of course - as that wouldn't make for nearly as good tv.  ;-)

[sainte-chapelle]

2 minutes ago, Chalby said:

Oh dear, I started watching again. (Why do I torture myself?) Jesse is so emotionally abusive it's frightening. Meanwhile Darcey is emotionally stunted. When Jesse is trying to justify why he's in New York, he appeared desperate and pathetic. I wondered who paid for the trip and hotel rooms? Jesse and Darcy are users. Meanwhile, if I hear the phrase "in the name of love/ for the sake of love" I will gag. Neither of them knows the meaning of the word.

Or the word "trauma" like Jesse even know what that means.

[Toaster Strudel]

Skeletangelina Jolie & Dirt "Derpface" Bourdain - Let's start with next week's preview; she was pregnant? Wait, wut? When and with who? Let that not be the editing monkeys toying with my delicate organ of anticipation.

I don't understand 'roid Rage Dean's objection to Hazel, I would have guessed he was legit looking forward to threesomes & human centipedes. Maybe he's upset that she's not putting out? Or not hot for him? His sexcation has been ruined, ruined, I tell you! I'll give him props for calming down and giving the fairy tale story of the Pauper and the Buffalo Plaid Dummy his reluctant blessing. Did Derpface really need to point out their flagrant sexual chemistry, which they have "in droves?"  I can smell their human rutting season pheromones through my TV screen You guys too, amirite?

I am certain I wasn't alone feeling sorry for the malnourished waif who had to give up her child for lack of money when her eyes began to swell as she told the producers that she was going to be homeless after he leaves. She seemed very depressed, especially at the prospect that he may not return for her (which could happen!). Meanwhile she appears to have gotten attached despite his idiotic way of talking and clueless expressions, and her feelings were genuine.

Manaus Plush Emoji Museum of Art & Unicorn Annex - The miscarriage is last week's news, it's OK to snark again. I have some capital questions.

• What's the deal with the two oversize dog kennels with junk in them?
• What's the deal with the mattress without sheets or protection? Five minutes in the Manaus heat and it's going to be a moldy hot mess of human sweat stains.
• What does it feel like to be comforted by a translator app robot voice?

Olive Oyl's fear that PyroPole won't return is irrational. Why, just ask any of his ex-girlfriends. He always comes back (sometimes with Crazy Glue, spray paint, matches, etc.) even if there's a restraining order. You'll never be rid of the flammable blend of neurosis, jealousy, OCD and drive for revenge that you married over your mother's tears.

Random question: are you ready for motherhood when you'll be fighting your baby for the same toys?

Mother Pole ran out of money, so Kriny must accept that Pole has to return to the US for his mother to work, make and save more money to give Pole so that he can return to Brazil. Had he not spent so much money on Mickey Mouse dildos, pastel-hued unicorn plushies with iridescent horns, white tiger plushies, and giant stuffed poop emojis (I'm just cruel now, all of these items are necessities of life in a town that doesn't appear to have garbage pickup), he could have stayed a couple of days longer. Forty-eight hours of missed fighting and misunderstandings opportunity. Life is so unfair.

Talking Glazed Ham Ricky - He is such an unctuous, slimy wad. Are we viewers supposed to waste tears and tissues getting emo over this satyr that is now married and engaged to two different women at once? Plan Bimena receives a message from his "ex-wife" and gets upset, imagine how upset she'll be when she finds out it's actually his wife and not his ex-wife. I think she said, "mentira here-o, mentira there-o, mentira all the time-o!" That's what I heard, anyway. She wasted a couple of weeks of her life banging a Shrek lookalike who always seems to have a "good reason" to ejaculate yet another lie, and prostate himself before women to "aw shucks" beg for forgiveness. Why doesn't he move to Utah and start off where Warren Jeffs left off? He was all emo saying goodbye to her at the airport, but he cheered up as soon as he laid eyes on the sexy customs agent, then the inviting ticket taker, attractive pilot, winking stewardess, hot uber driver, etc.

Edited October 8, 2018 by Toaster Strudel

[Chalby]

12 minutes ago, sainte-chapelle said:

Or the word "trauma" like Jesse even know what that means.

TRUE! And do you notice the catch-phrase for every reality star is "I'm feeling so stressed". Do any of them understand that real "stress" doesn't require a camera crew to document it?

[Chalby]

1 hour ago, lucy711 said:

 I can't handle people who aren't good with money.  That being said- how did Rachel not walk away when Jon dropped the bomb about being in debt AND quitting his job? ... This man is literally bringing nothing to the relationship except some facial hair.  How desperate is Rachel?

The more I look at them, the more I think we're being played by them. Hindsight - Rachel was accepting daycare payments from Jon which I found odd as I can't say my pride would allow me to accept $$ from a guy I'd never met for a baby I had with a one night stand. Clearly his debt is not a surprise to her and he's already brought his DNA to the relationship courtesy Lucy. Why else would family and friends enquire if "Jon's a good dad?" unless they figured he WAS the 'dad'? No one would ask that of a non-biological parent; they might say, "How is Jon around Lucy?"

[Tallulahbaby]

10 minutes ago, Toaster Strudel said:

Skeletangelina Jolie & Dirt "Derpface" Bourdain - Let's start with next week's preview; she was pregnant? Wait, wut? When and with who? Let that mot be the editing monkeys toying with my delicate organ of anticipation.

I don't understand 'roid Rage Dean's objection to Hazel, I would have guessed he was legit looking forward to threesomes & human centipedes. Maybe he's upset that she's not putting out? Or not hot for him? His sexcation has been ruined, ruined, I tell you! I'll give him props for calming down and giving the fairy tale story of the Pauper and the Buffalo Plaid Dummy his reluctant blessing. Did Derpface really need to point out their flagrant sexual chemistry, which they have "in droves?"  I can smell their human rutting season pheromones through my TV screen You guys too, amirite?

I am certain I wasn't alone feeling sorry for the malnourished waif who had to give up her child for lack of money when her eyes began to swell as she told the producers that she was going to be homeless after he leaves. She seemed very depressed, especially at the prospect that he may not return for her (which could happen!). Meanwhile she appears to have gotten attached despite his idiotic way of talking and clueless expressions, and her feelings were genuine.

Manaus Plush Emoji Museum of Art & Unicorn Annex - The miscarriage is last week's news, it's OK to snark again. I have some capital questions.

• What's the deal with the two oversize dog kennels with junk in them?
• What's the deal with the mattress without sheets or protection? Five minutes in the Manaus heat and it's going to be a moldy hot mess of human sweat stains.
• What does it feel like to be comforted by a translator app robot voice?

Olive Oyl's fear that PyroPole won't return is irrational. Why, just ask any of his ex-girlfriends. He always comes back (sometimes with Crazy Glue, spray paint, matches, etc.) even if there's a restraining order. You'll never be rid of the flammable blend of neurosis, jealousy, OCD and drive for revenge that you married over your mother's tears.

Random question: are you ready for motherhood when you'll be fighting your baby for the same toys?

Mother Pole ran out of money, so Kriny must accept that Pole has to return to the US for his mother to work, make and save more money to give Pole so that he can return to Brazil. Had he not spent so much money on Mickey Mouse dildos, pastel-hued unicorn plushies with iridescent horns, white tiger plushies, and giant stuffed poop emojis (I'm just cruel now, all of these items are necessities of life in a town that doesn't appear to have garbage pickup), he could have stayed a couple of days longer. Forty-eight hours of missed fighting and misunderstanding opportunity. Life is so unfair.

Talking Glazed Ham Ricky - He is such an unctuous, slimy wad. Are we viewers supposed to waste tears and tissues getting emo over this satyr that is now married and engaged to two different women at once? Plan Bimena receives a message from his "ex-wife" and gets upset, imagine how upset she'll be when she finds out it's actually his wife and not his ex-wife. I think she said, "mentira here-o, mentira there-o, mentira all the time-o!" That's what I heard, anyway. She wasted a couple of weeks of her life banging a Shrek lookalike who always seems to have a "good reason" to ejaculate yet another lie, and prostate himself before women to "aw shucks" beg for forgiveness. Why doesn't he move to Utah and start off where Warren Jeffs left off? He was all emo saying goodbye to her at the airport, but he cheered up as soon as he laid eyes on the sexy customs agent, then the inviting ticket taker, attractive pilot, winking stewardess, hot uber driver, etc.

I live for your recaps. Seriously. Talking Glazed Ham Ricky?????? That's EXACTLY what he looks like.

But you didn't have anything to say about the fairytale couple,  Eeyore and the Pugilistic Midget!

My husband walked by and wanted to know why she was wearing brown shoes with her white dress. I said, "they're taupe flats, honey."

And what dummy uses an ATM card in Nigeria? Oh, that's right, Memaw Angela.

[Happyfatchick]

3 hours ago, endure said:

Angela looked great in her matching African dress, maybe Michael can be a fashion consultant when he gets to the states.

“Great” might be a bit of a stretch - but compared to how she dressed most of the time, I see your perspective.  And she most certainly did look fine.  I’m not sure why she fought that so hard, honestly!

[magemaud]

58 minutes ago, Chalby said:

When did Grandma get the Michael tattoo?

She’s had it all season and must have gotten it before the trip 

[Owwwww ma leg]

@Toaster Strudel you are hilarious. The names you come up with!!

[Toaster Strudel]

Unemployed Gnome with 50K Debt & Karaoke Rachel - He quit his job to get a week off? Or did his boss pounce on a golden opportunity to be rid of his pugilistic ass? Rachel is a more understanding woman than I am, I would have walked away if someone had laid this whopper on me after I accepted their proposal and made a transatlantic return trip with an infant. Never mind the gauche thing with the ex-girlfriend (hardly surprising from a guy who was into open relationships, his boundaries are probably on the soft side), this kind of financial surprise should be a deal-breaker. He knew how to re-assure Rachel by explaining he'd still pay for the baby's daycare, but she still looked vexed, and rightfully so.

The trip to the jeweler's was one of those 90DF treats that keep me watching. The jeweler's genuine consternation with Jon's continued insistence that he doesn't want wear a ring what signals to other women that he's married was hilariously British. Yes, married men wear rings, yes, people usually buy a set of two, yes, all the men he knows wear theirs, yes, yes, yes. It was a great comedy skit.

Jon's cousin is gorgeous and curse you, editing monkeys, for implying she was his ex-girlfriend.

Karaoke Rachel looked stunning on her wedding day; the gnome groom looked genuinely happy. It's going to be a rough ride, but I hope they make it. Maybe it will turn out that her calm and her patience will be good for him.

Wrinkly Georgia Ass & Sext Nigerian - "What hell we been through, and we still love each other," coughed Grangela, fighting off chunks of tar-stained sputum coming up her throat, in one of the least auspicious evaluations of a romantic first trip, ever. Now the pressing question occurs of how she'll pay for a K1 visa, his airfare, and support him while he can't work in the US on her $900 bank account and food stamps - and there's no answer, is there?

What an excellent and convincing liar he is! He did steal the money, but he had me fooled for a while. He sounded so earnest and sincere. That takes practice. After he steals that $900 in $300 increments and leaves her with a single dollar, there is no chance that she'll be able to pay for any of this. When she complained about no longer having gas money, I heard "cigarette" money.

That was an epic self-own on Sext Nigerian's part, who let his short term greed shortchange his long term goal. But perhaps he robbed her when they were on bad terms and his dream of living as a black immigrant in Trump country was vanishing?

Marta/Daya Complete Waste of Time - Boy am I glad I didn't get invested in this "story" beyond wanting to throw a bucket of makeup remover at her so see what she really looks like. One of her fake eyelashes heard me because it looked like it was trying to crawl down her lid like a caterpillar, to get the process going.
 

Edited October 8, 2018 by Toaster Strudel

[Morgalisa]

I cant believe this season is over already. Thank you little baby Jesus. Hope the new cast is more entertaining and not in a cringeworthy way.

It looks like the tell all might be quite interesting for a change. I hope it ties up some of the loose ends. I'm looking forward to Hazels story.

Jon is bad news. He keeps releasing info to Rachel in dribs and drabs.Then he speaks to her in that English accent that she is so enamored of and she forgives all. Their chances of being together are slim and none. In defense of Jon, there are men who don't like to wear wedding rings or any jewelry and they are not all cheaters.

I don't want to believe that Mahkull took Big Angs money. I'm hoping it was a bank error. He wants to come to the US, but I don't see him as a thief.

Krinny and Pole don't interest me as much anymore. First-season Pole was train-wreck good.

Ricky values the truth above everything. Yeah. Other people always force him to have to tell lies. Melissa dodged a bullet. How did this guy talk 3 women in to marrying him.

[Frozendiva]

Rachel probably couldn't wear heels with her dress - she is taller than her groom and the lawn looked lush. So easy to sink a heel in to and fall, rather unceremoniously. Lucy was the bouquet? Maybe she likes the idea of being married to a dude she only sees every now and then. She knows where he is. Ideally, jail is a better home as she knows he won't go out at night. Maybe they will work it out - she is settling. Perhaps her friends are all married and now she fits in with them. Or makes her ex jealous.

Who gives some dude you have known for a few weeks the bank card and password? I can see having a small account with $500 or so to make ATM withdrawals, but not in a country like Nigeria. Europe, Asia, sure. If darling Michael did do the withdrawals, maybe he felt it was payment for services rendered. He really should have waited til he got to the US and then scammed her. Perhaps he has scammed other women and has turned the art in to a science.

Not interested in Marta and her hot Algerian. Maybe they will be back next year, since nothing has launched.

Karine, Pole is not a walking ATM. He told you he wasn't rich. You have depleted the funds. No more funds til he goes home to mom and maybe has to work another 6 months or so rent free to mom, to get back to you. You are 21, and are behaving like you are 12. Pole is not very nice when he gets angry and watch out.

Ximena the second, what do you see in tricky Ricky? Maybe you have a thing for lying, slimy men? Why would his wife or ex wife call you or text you or whatever? She should be happy that Ricky is out of her life and has now been passed on to another schmuckette.

Tarik, you are seriously going to be paying rent for some women you have known for a few weeks? The word sucker hasn't gone off in the lightbulb that sits over your head? Hazel has been basically silent, has asked you little about yourself, made no real effort to get to know you, hides things from you, all of a sudden tells you that she will be homeless, and you bought it? Does she really think that after the disinterest she has shown him that he will come back to her?

Darcey and Jesse, get over yourselves. It is not going to work. Real love is unconditional and there is very little of it here. Just need and codependence. The aware Jesse should realize that, but he is too wrapped up in sticking it to Darcey and beating her with the same stick. There are lots of girls in Amsterdam and the EU who would happily put up with your BS. Darcey just doesn't learn the lesson and needs to work on her inner self. Another designer do-dad is not going to fix things. She just needs to find a guy who will accept her as-is, and that won't be Jesse, at least not for a long time. And maybe tone down the wardrobe a bit. Sexy doesn't always mean so much skin.

[Chalby]

18 minutes ago, Toaster Strudel said:

The trip to the jeweler's was one of those 90DF treats that keep me watching. His genuine consternation with Jon's continued insistence that he doesn't want wear a ring what signals to other women that he's married was hilariously British. Yes, married men wear rings, yes, people usually buy a set of two, yes, all the men he knows wear theirs, yes, yes, yes. It was a great comedy skit.

I found the jeweler extremely attractive. Does anyone know if he is married ;) ? I'd watch a show with him in it. Lol. Jon looked very handsome in his blue suit and Rachel looked lovely. I think they will probably last.

[Splithair]

...and as the plane disappeared into the sky, all of Nigeria heaved a collective sigh of relief.

[Toaster Strudel]

Breakup With A Bang, Literally - I wanted to throttle Darcey and her "came for love" mantra, a mantra that was repeated several times by her airhead twin during last week's live show, like you know, and I, like you know. Enough already, with the empty, phony phrases. #twinflames #came4love #emptywords #yeahknow #like #yeahknow

Jesse smokes, gross. He needs to work on himself and #StopSmoking.

These two nimrods were fighting about who was going to "control" the break up. That's a sign it's high time to pull the plug. Each had a different strategy, true to character. DramaDarcey went for a combination of contorted angry faces, hoarse shouting, flicking her acrylic nail tipped fingers around, flailing her hands with attitude, and spitting venomous comments like a good little viper. Amateur Psychotherapist Jesse went for a a haughty blend of condescension, confusion, pity, controlled calm and walking away feeling superior. I did think it was classy of him to pay for her hotel room (last minute in Manhattan couldn't be cheap), and get a second room for himself. 

DramaDarcey promised a great performance as a "strong woman" but ultimately was unconvincing. Generally, strong women aren't found laying on a filthy hotel room carpet in a fetal position, crying "I'm dying! I'm dying! I can't live without you!." 

This show is so educational. We learned that a virtuous and honorable breakup must be done in person and include one act of parting copulation out of pity.

Jesse is a terrible liar.

Producer: "did you dance the horizontal mambo last night?"
Jesse: Where? What? (Looks around)
Producer: (does the symbol for coitus with his fingers, PyroPole style)
Jesse: (grows big wet anime eyes) oh oh NOOOoOooOoOoOooo no no no

Darcey is an antagonistic, virulent harpy, but still I felt sad for her and wanted to give her a hug, if only to cause those trunk-like, stress-induced, throbbing vertical veins in her immense forehead to recede. She just wants to be with her daughters now, to dump all that adult, desperate and toxic baggage on them so that they can offer her comfort, support and wise words aka "being a good mom" to Darcey.

"I don't think I will miss her" - coldly concluded Jesse, his weiner still coated with her vaginal flora.  Now, that's a breakup with respect and love.

Next season: Darcey is preggo from the goodbye sex! (just kidding, NOT A SPOILER).

After all this, Darcey gets one coupon for a night of binge drinking and no one complaining about it. Cheers!

Edited October 8, 2018 by Toaster Strudel

[gingerella]

So...MyeKhul...Taking out your handkerchief and wiping your DRY EYES does not make anyone think you’re actually, Yano, CRYING. Nice try Nigerian scam amateur. And to be clear, he took the damn money, no questions about it. His reaction is one I’ve experienced many times over there when someone is trying to evade and deflect. I can’t only assume he decided a life with GrAngela was going to be hell on earth so he decidedly to at least get out of it with whatever cash he could. in Lagos, $600 will buy a lot of roasted meat at street carts...or a new mobile phone...or buy provisions for mom for quite a while. I can’t feel bad for her, she’s an idiot too.

Something is really wrong with Spaetzel. I mean as in she comes off as a battered woman at some point. It’s not fun to watch and TLC show runners are pieces of shit for exploiting her. 

Darcey? NEWSFLASH: Your daughters wold probably be thrilled to hear you and Jesse broke up...And I doubt they give two shits about who you boink. In fact, I’d be the good money you embarrass the living hell out of them. But you’re too narcissistic to ever really get it. I hope Jesse had to pay for both rooms himself, and that he had NO FUN  AT ALL in NYC. I  sure he thought he’d be cavorting around on TLCs dime...

So Pole the Idiot departs for home to make more money because he’s run out, yet he leaves Kreeny in the  we’re  squatting in with a SHIT TON of, well, SHIT. How is she going to pay for that shithole if there’s no more money? And if she’s headed back up the Amazon until he returns, she’ll need a barge to get all those plush toys up river so they can rot in the humid, dank rainforest, who’ll pay for the boat to haul all that shit? 

This show blows.

Edited October 8, 2018 by gingerella

[Empress Josephine]

20 hours ago, LennieBriscoe said:

Rachel's older daughter has a father who presumably can provide for her. Jon might easily find another job. I'm rooting for these two crazy "kids"! ?

Mahkul wants to MMGA.  ?

Hazel and Kreeeny seemed genuinely upset when their men departed for home. 

Well, it is the responsibility of both parents to provide for their child. Rachel better get a damn job to contribute to Lucy's daycare and the upkeep of her older daughter. She seems able-bodied and does not seem to have any mental ailments that could hinder her from holding gainful employment. I hope he garnishes wages when that time comes for her to pay child support.

 

Sorry, but this lack of work ethic just irks me so much on a personal level.  I have a physical disability and have had more surgeries and personal setbacks than I can count. Still, I hold down two jobs/ put myself through university despite a lot of jerk-faced teachers telling me I did not have the 'mental capabilities' for higher education.

 

For Jon to quit his job was incredibly irksome and plain irresponsible. He has a criminal record. Who knows how long it may have taken for him to get his recycling collection job. He just quits without trying to search for any follow-ups or plans and has so much debt.  Good paying jobs to support a family are not exactly easy to come by with that sort of history. I despise people who 'do first and think later'. They are always the people crying about how 'unfair' it all is (Rachel loves to throw this around) and never take any personal responsibility.

I can't stand these two one bit and I don't think horrible decisions in life should be rewarded, especially when the people in question don't seem to ever show any signs of having learned from past mistakes. Poor Lucy deserves so much better.

Edited October 8, 2018 by Empress Josephine

[StatisticalOutlier]

3 hours ago, Major Bigtime said:

Pole is getting exactly what he deserves. He married a child. And what in the hell do they have in those two large pet kennels? Her stuffed animals???

Could it be they're renting one room in an apartment?  The bedroom had such an enormous amount of shit piled everywhere, but the kitchen and other room weren't like that.  Plus, the dog crates.

Also, I did not need to see Pole sniff the crotch of a pair of his underwear and declare (with surprise) they were clean.

 

2 hours ago, HappyDancex2 said:

Darcey cried so much during this episode I was getting dehydrated watching her.

I'll admit I don't have a good TV, but it never looks like there are actual tears coming out.  Or maybe I just don't notice because I'm watching how most of her face doesn't move.

But I have to say that I'm uncomfortable watching her because I think she really is mentally ill.

 

2 hours ago, PityFree said:

 Jesse originally rented the hotel room. I bet anything he kept a copy of the key. (he had them give him two because he  thought he might get lucky with Darcy.)

Wonkiness again.  The room that he had and gave to Darcey was on the 14th floor.  Then there was the "10 minutes later" chyron with Jesse voiceover that he got his own room, showing him going into a room on the 3rd floor, and then the next day they showed him leaving a room on the 12th floor.

 

1 hour ago, Tallulahbaby said:

And what dummy uses an ATM card in Nigeria? Oh, that's right, Memaw Angela.

I thought ATMs were the best way to get money when in a foreign country.  Nobody uses travelers checks any more, right?

Now, giving someone else the card and the PIN?  Not something I would do.

 

53 minutes ago, Frozendiva said:

Rachel probably couldn't wear heels with her dress - she is taller than her groom and the lawn looked lush.

Didn't Jon say the venue was too small for guests?  I guess he wasn't counting the 100 feet of lawn that Rachel traversed.

 

Quote

Ximena the second, what do you see in tricky Ricky? Maybe you have a thing for lying, slimy men? Why would his wife or ex wife call you or text you or whatever?

Why would his "ex" even have her phone number?

[AussieBabe]

2 hours ago, Chalby said:

When did Grandma get the Michael tattoo? I just noticed it when they were saying goodbye at the airport. Did I miss that during an episode? (Also, I am surprised Americans haven't rebelled against this show as it really portrays Americans as being a few bricks short a load. Meanwhile, the Americans I know are anything but stupid and/ or naive.)

 

I keep thinking her ex-husband's name was Michael, too. It might have been from her first marriage. If not, she's a special brand of stupid.

From everything I've seen, his real name isn't even Michael, so who knows?

Edited October 8, 2018 by AussieBabe

[iwasish]

I wonder when he quit his job. I think it was a while ago from his bs about not bringing it up when there’s already stress from being long distance. 

He will never work at an on the books job because they will take half for the loans.

so she’s stuck paying all the expenses for the spousal visa and tickets to visit him. They will have to live his mothers house amongst the lodgers, because he can’t afford anything better. Does he expect her to pay off his loans also? 

If he did get a visa would the UK try to get his debts from any money  he earned in the US?

[tanyaintheburbs]

I still can’t figure out if hazel is crying over Tarik leaving or because she’s afraid her walking checking account is leaving without her and her son.  She’s so shut down and emotionally cold she’s hard to read. But at the very least, she’s got an apt paid for.  Why couldn’t she stay with her parents?  It’s not like she needs a ton of room for just herself...her parents are shaking and flopping around speaking in tongue at their church, not on the living room couch...

how Michael can put up with a domineering red neck grandmother scolding him 24/7 unless she’s wanting to stick her tongue down his throat, or attack him for not day dreaming about wiping her future diapered ass is beyond me.  What’s even more beyond me is his love for trump.   Yeah...I’m sure that’ll be reciprocated when he comes over here...cause we all know how much our president loves the non caucasians...

Poor ximena, she was on to Ricky and his fanny pack full of cash, passwords and pin #s after the first lie was exposed...she just didn’t have the balls to follow her gut and leave...now she’s gonna find out about the recycled engagement ring....how many other women is he sending money to in order to feel like a man??  His daughters face when he announced he was going to propose to a pair of boobs sight unseen said it all. 

Jesse and Darcy....ugh....the worst part of codependency and self absorbsion.  Jesse with the scramble to make himself out to be the hero and the victim with the lying and condescension.  Talk about the great pretender.  With zero capacity to be accountable for his addiction to drama and his 15 minutes of reality show fame...ugh  that was over for him from last season and his meltdown after the final interview was over that Darcy wasn’t wearing a jacket he bought for her.  He needs to fire himself from trying to change his image to being the long suffering bf.  Na-uh.  Epic fail.  Darcy needs serious therapy to work on her self esteem and why she is attracted to emotionally abusive men.  

I do believe that Jon loves Rachael, but hello....how many more bombs is is gonna parcel out over time?  How hard is it to say via Skype that he has no vacation time at the mo? To talk together about the options?  And the state of his finances....50k is a big number to not mention til the day before they get married....! 10-1 he “loses” his ring after Rachael head back to the States.  I’m giving him a few points for thinking of FaceTiming some of Rachael’s family during the wedding.  

As for Daya...not much to say about him.  We really only got to see his picture, he was too busy hanging up on Marta.  Awesome communication, dude. 

[magemaud]

13 minutes ago, tanyaintheburbs said:

10-1 he “loses” his ring after Rachael head back to the States.

Right down the garbage disposal!

[millennium]

I caught myself wondering if John has slept with his attractive cousin.

His revelations keep getting better.   Next week: "Rachel, honey?   There have been some unsolved murders in the vicinity and ... "

But seriously, quitting his job for a week off with Rachel?   It's like that Seinfeld episode where Jerry runs into an old college pal on the street and invites him to the diner, only to later discover that the guy blew off an important board meeting that afternoon and lost his job so he could have lunch with Jerry.

Jesse and the cigar.  Jesse and the ludicrous stars and stripes scarf.   Jesse on the streets of Manhattan.   The only thing missing was "Everybody's Talking At Me" wailing in the background.

Edited October 8, 2018 by millennium

[Lizzing]

Those dog crates in Paul's apartment truly are weird.  There were even food bowls on top of one of them.  Maybe it's their brand of kink.

When Jon mentioned his debt, it made me conclude he really wanted out of the UK to be away from the debt collectors.  Trans-atlantic collections are tough to pursue.  

[Honey]

5 hours ago, Frozendiva said:

Rachel probably couldn't wear heels with her dress - she is taller than her groom and the lawn looked lush. So easy to sink a heel in to and fall, rather unceremoniously. Lucy was the bouquet? Maybe she likes the idea of being married to a dude she only sees every now and then. She knows where he is. Ideally, jail is a better home as she knows he won't go out at night. Maybe they will work it out - she is settling. Perhaps her friends are all married and now she fits in with them. Or makes her ex jealous.

Who gives some dude you have known for a few weeks the bank card and password? I can see having a small account with $500 or so to make ATM withdrawals, but not in a country like Nigeria. Europe, Asia, sure. If darling Michael did do the withdrawals, maybe he felt it was payment for services rendered. He really should have waited til he got to the US and then scammed her. Perhaps he has scammed other women and has turned the art in to a science.

Not interested in Marta and her hot Algerian. Maybe they will be back next year, since nothing has launched.

Karine, Pole is not a walking ATM. He told you he wasn't rich. You have depleted the funds. No more funds til he goes home to mom and maybe has to work another 6 months or so rent free to mom, to get back to you. You are 21, and are behaving like you are 12. Pole is not very nice when he gets angry and watch out.

Ximena the second, what do you see in tricky Ricky? Maybe you have a thing for lying, slimy men? Why would his wife or ex wife call you or text you or whatever? She should be happy that Ricky is out of her life and has now been passed on to another schmuckette.

Tarik, you are seriously going to be paying rent for some women you have known for a few weeks? The word sucker hasn't gone off in the lightbulb that sits over your head? Hazel has been basically silent, has asked you little about yourself, made no real effort to get to know you, hides things from you, all of a sudden tells you that she will be homeless, and you bought it? Does she really think that after the disinterest she has shown him that he will come back to her?

Darcey and Jesse, get over yourselves. It is not going to work. Real love is unconditional and there is very little of it here. Just need and codependence. The aware Jesse should realize that, but he is too wrapped up in sticking it to Darcey and beating her with the same stick. There are lots of girls in Amsterdam and the EU who would happily put up with your BS. Darcey just doesn't learn the lesson and needs to work on her inner self. Another designer do-dad is not going to fix things. She just needs to find a guy who will accept her as-is, and that won't be Jesse, at least not for a long time. And maybe tone down the wardrobe a bit. Sexy doesn't always mean so much skin.

People say this all the time and I completely disagree.  The only "unconditional love" is between a child and a parent.  Romantic love always comes with plenty of conditions.  My opinion.

[sconstant]

4 hours ago, AussieBabe said:

I keep thinking her ex-husband's name was Michael, too. It might have been from her first marriage. If not, she's a special brand of stupid.

From everything I've seen, his real name isn't even Michael, so who knows?

Definitely a pre-existing tattoo or we’d have  gotten some before-commercial stupid “Michael I have something serious to tell you” and some after-break reveal of the tattoo-for-love and “Michael” so demonstrative in response. 

 

Didn't think of the fake name thing (a la Chantal /CeAir) but of course you’re right and maybe she asked for it to be Michael to avoid a Melissa/Ximena accidental name slip issue?

[Kellyee]

Darcy needs therapy. Serious therapy. Anyone who sleeps with a guy who just treated you like that has serious emotional and self esteem problems. Their whole relationship is sick. I want to hear from Jesse's ex-girlfriends. I'm betting he has a history of toxic behavior, which is why he is still single at his age with his looks and has to hook up with a 43 year old woman from another country. 

The others are all just ridiculous and hoping to make it on to the real 90-Day Fiance. Rachel and Jon will eventually make it onto Dr. Phil, where Rachel will be shown a long string of red flags that she ignored, presented in a nice-looking timeline. Then she'll cry and act like she had no way to see disaster coming. 

Ricky's whole life is just one lie after another. He's going to go through 3 marriages before his 40th birthday. Remember on Friends when Ross said 3 divorces makes you THAT divorced guy? That's Ricky.

Quote

 And the state of his finances....50k is a big number to not mention til the day before they get married....! 10-1 he “loses” his ring after Rachael head back to the States.  I’m giving him a few points for thinking of FaceTiming some of Rachael’s family during the wedding.  

Jon said he owes $50k US dollars. He also said he has been in 50 fights. Is he somehow drawn to the number 50? Does he have 50 kids out there somewhere? 50 girlfriends? The mind boggles. 

Edited October 8, 2018 by Kellyee

[renatae]

6 hours ago, Toaster Strudel said:

Amateur Psychotherapist Jesse went for a a haughty blend of condescension, confusion, pity, controlled calm and walking away feeling superior. I did think it was classy of him to pay for her hotel room (last minute in Manhattan couldn't be cheap), and get a second room for himself. 

I definitely felt the second room was Plan B. When he said, "I wanted to bring your bags up for you (out of love)" I knew he was angling for sex. She wasn't having any of it, so then he got himself another room, in the same hotel, just in case, and he scored. After which, he was all, "Who, me?" to the producers. Probably his last ditch effort at gaslighting Darcey.

[noveltylibrary]

9 hours ago, lucy711 said:

 how did Rachel not walk away when Jon dropped the bomb about being in debt AND quitting his job?  

Because she is an utter loser!! can't stand her.  and the fact that they never even mention her other child really bugs me. such a happy little threesome they are!  Gag!!!

[noveltylibrary]

Angela: Here, take my bank card!  Days later: How dare he take money from my bank account??  It's all too funny and sad at the same time.

BUT I am really looking forward to her telling Rachel off haa

Edited October 8, 2018 by noveltylibrary

[noveltylibrary]

9 hours ago, Cherrio said:

My takeaway from this episode is a new disorder.

Jesse was TRAUMATIZED !!   Oh my, call 911, call Dr. Bombay, emergency come right away !

He is suffering from P.T.L.S.

Post Traumatic Louboutin Syndrome

Shove a wooden shoe up your ass Jesse.

As sociopathic as he is, I can't muster up much hate for him, only because.. Darcey.

[noveltylibrary]

9 hours ago, MoodyGirl said:

I just can’t with Rachel’s only wardrobe of jeans. Who goes to a pre-wedding dinner to meet friends and family wearing old dirty jeans and a blah shirt and no make up. And in the previews of the tell all she is wearing the same damn jeans. OMG— Please wear something else. 

Hey it's a good thing she's not a clotheshorse, what with instantly going into 50k debt and all..

8 hours ago, Toaster Strudel said:

Talking Glazed Ham Ricky - 

LMAO!!!!

[noveltylibrary]

7 hours ago, Morgalisa said:

I don't want to believe that Mahkull took Big Angs money. I'm hoping it was a bank error. He wants to come to the US, but I don't see him as a thief.

I don't either but it was pretty obvious to me he did it.  When someone repeats what the accuser says with "What do you mean <repeat what was just said>?" over and over....

[noveltylibrary]

7 hours ago, Empress Josephine said:

Well, it is the responsibility of both parents to provide for their child. Rachel better get a damn job to contribute to Lucy's daycare

But why would she have to go to daycare if she isn't working?  btw I generally think it's more nurturing for mothers to be with their kids but in this case, it's her kids' advantage to be away from her..

[JasonH]

8 hours ago, Frozendiva said:

Darcey and Jesse, get over yourselves. It is not going to work. Real love is unconditional and there is very little of it here. Just need and codependence. The aware Jesse should realize that, but he is too wrapped up in sticking it to Darcey and beating her with the same stick. 

You accidentally spelled it with “st” instead of “d”

[noveltylibrary]

4 hours ago, millennium said:

Jesse and the cigar.  Jesse and the ludicrous stars and stripes scarf.   Jesse on the streets of Manhattan.   The only thing missing was "Everybody's Talking At Me" wailing in the background.

Haaaaa that's priceless!

1 hour ago, renatae said:

I definitely felt the second room was Plan B. When he said, "I wanted to bring your bags up for you (out of love)" I knew he was angling for sex. She wasn't having any of it, so then he got himself another room, in the same hotel, just in case, and he scored. After which, he was all, "Who, me?" to the producers. Probably his last ditch effort at gaslighting Darcey.

Hey he's no fool, he knew she'd be ridiculous enough to go for it.  They actually are a perfect match for each other!