S05.E12: Safe House

[formerlyfreedom]

After Seamus threatens Kevin, Holt devises an elaborate plan to hide him in a safe house, with Jake as his guard. Kevin is miserable as the 99 works overtime to find Seamus and take him down.

[incandescent]

You would think that I would stop guffawing at people belly crawling across the safe house, but no, twas not the case. What a great gag!

I love anytime Scully and/or Hitchcock display an actually useful skill so I loved him being The One to de-shred the paper. And burrowing through the piles like a guinea pig.

Do you know what a clapback is, Raymond? ?? Because ?? I ?? do ??
 

[WritinMan]

Nice to finally have this show back. I'll never look at a dirt bag the same way again.

Rosa's hair was hilarious. It would be funny if she had to keep it that way for a couple more episodes.

[Roaster]

They totally played to stereotype of New York ladies and their hair, but I loved it.  Rosa should keep the blond perm for another couple episodes.

Ahhhh, WritinMan, you beat me by two seconds.  Great minds.

[MrWhyt]

if i didn't already love Marc Evan Jackson for Sparks Nevada this episode would've sealed the deal.

[tennisgurl]

Oh my God, Keven and Jake hanging out was everything I never knew I always wanted. "Con Air. What have I become?" And the shimmying around the floor joke never got old, amazingly. And then, KEVIN gets to be the big damn hero! I could honestly just post every conversation with Holt, Kevin, and Jake, it was amazing. Kevin and Holt really are made for each other. "Kevin, you cant talk right now because your dead." 

Rosa and her hair, my God. It was like Sandy from Grease mixed with every wife from The Sopranos. "This hair saved your life." "I thank it for its service". 

We only got a little bit of Jake and Amy, but when we got was super adorable as always. And I always love when Scully and Hitchcock turn out to be useful at some weird random thing that saves the day. 

When Kevin and Jake were in their library perv outfits, I felt like they borrowed costumes from the Lonely Island "Do the Creep" song. 

BUT WHO WAS GUARDING CHEDDAR?!?! 

[hendersonrocks]

NINE-NINE! My heart is so full right now. That was a delightful episode (title of your sex tape).

[ZuluQueenOfDwarves]

Who played Nicki? She looked so familiar. 

[Trillium]

For all the sex tape titles they have “I came alone” is my new favorite. 

 

I loved ever second of this episode. This season has been excellent. Hopefully Fox renews because it’s far and away the best they have IMO. 

[formerlyfreedom]

This show has been greatly missed. The texting between Holt and Jake on the bus...OMG. I almost died laughing. "Sincerely, Raymond Holt"

Please PowersThatBe - recognize this gem. PLEASE.

[Lady Calypso]

Oh, that was great. I enjoyed every minute of it. Minimal Gina, loads of Kevin, and Rosa undercover. Plus, smart Scully! 

I think my favourite moment was Kevin's anger at the end when Jake didn't tell him about one Nic Cage film. Of course, the library pervert disguise was hilarious, as was Kevin throat punching Jake and Kevin's explanation as to why dirtbag is actually a compliment. It's good to note if I ever use dirtbag in the future.

Jake and Kevin being stuck in the safe house together was comedy gold. Holt's surprise when Kevin turned out to have watched all the Nic Cage movies that Jake provided, followed by him quoting Nic Cage, was fantastic.

Also, yeah, did Cheddar get to hang with Holt at the precinct, then? 

[Ms Blue Jay]

2 hours ago, saoirse said:

This show has been greatly missed. The texting between Holt and Jake on the bus...OMG. I almost died laughing. "Sincerely, Raymond Holt"

Please PowersThatBe - recognize this gem. PLEASE.

And "Dear Jake," at the beginning of each.  He also used "Whom".

I would have liked to see Kevin reading.  Books do not have built in internet.  Not paper books, from the days of yore. And can't you get a computer with internet disabled or something, so that he could write?  (I just realized, it's called a typewriter.)  For sure somebody like Jake would have been playing video games, ones on systems without internet connections to the outside world.  Nintendo, Sega, Super Nintendo, Wii, whatever.  With my Blu Ray player, some books, and an internet-disabled laptop I could be content for a while.  Is it that reading is too engrossing and distracting when they're supposed to be more aware?  Anyway the entire safe house plan is either something I don't understand or has way too many holes and my mind is spinning.

Edited March 19, 2018 by Ms Blue Jay

[Irlandesa]

1 hour ago, Lady Calypso said:

I think my favourite moment was Kevin's anger at the end when Jake didn't tell him about one Nic Cage film.

Two films.  Captain Morelli's Mandolin (there's a movie about a mandolin?) and Leaving Las Vegas. I think that was my favorite part of the show too.

[biakbiak]

It's been so long since Mary Lynn Rajskub has been on I briefly feared that Jake was talking about her and Charles when Jake rattled off the divorced people but then remembered her name is Genevieve not Eleanor. 

[ClareWalks]

This was a FANTASTIC episode. As someone who is frustrated with The Walking Dead's glacial pace, I appreciate that they didn't drag this Seamus thing out for seasons at a time. I loved that Gina's skills were actually useful for once (I died every time Rosa was continuing Gina's story and "28 minutes later" showed up on the screen), and I loved the Nic Cage movies gag. When Jake rattled through all his pizza snacks and Kevin was like "that's it, pizza pocket," OMG I was rolling. Such great writing and so well done.

[Poohbear617]

I don't know why but could not stop laughing at terry's line while putting together the shreds " I got 2 words, 

'When he' the he  could be part of 'the' or the end of 'apache' and Terry is feeling apache"

Would have been perfect if Apache had been part of the address...give Terry a win. 

[wingster55]

Only complaint is (and this is more of a season-long issue really) is how little they use Amy. Did she ask for a reduced schedule after giving birth? That's the only thing that'll make it ok for me. 

[peeayebee]

This was perfection.

Excellent usage of Gina. And I loved Rosa's voice and whole changed persona.

Jake and Kevin as pervs was great. I cracked up when we first see Jake's perv face.

Loved every single instance of Raymond doing the "and now you're dead" scenarios. I had to pause the recording when he said, "Kevin, come in here. Take your bullet." I laughed and laughed. Oh my god. 90% of it is the delivery. GIVE ANDRE AN EMMY!

Kevin was fantastic. Loved his reactions to Jake's summaries of each Cage film. "Aren't there any other actors?"

The crawling on the floor never got old. My favorite one was when Kevin crawled out of the room, and we see it from the angle where his feet disappear. He wasn't even using his legs to crawl, just pulling himself with his arms!

Loved the room full of shredded documents. Scully disappearing at one side and appearing at the other was great. It reminded me of the movie Tremors or I guess the trash room in Star Wars.

The hustling away of Kevin at the beginning was fun, esp when it ended with Raymond saying, "Hello, Kevin. It's me, Raymond Holt."

Jake: So you're saying, We Need to Talk About Kevin?

Jake: So you're saying, Kevin Can Wait?

Kevin: I'm not abandoning my husband. I love him.
Jake: Yeah. I love him, too. Everybody loves Raymond.

Jake: We're perverts, see?
Raymond: You're not fooling anyone. Kevin's zipper is UP, for God's sake!

[Loandbehold]

49 minutes ago, peeayebee said:

The crawling on the floor never got old. My favorite one was when Kevin crawled out of the room, and we see it from the angle where his feet disappear. He wasn't even using his legs to crawl, just pulling himself with his arms!

I loved how everyone had their own unique way of crawling. Holt was using one leg while (whilst?) dragging the other.

Jake should have realized how upset Holt was. The man used contractions. At least twice!

Kevin and Jake should star in their own Nic Cage buddy movie.

51 minutes ago, peeayebee said:

Jake: We're perverts, see?
Raymond: You're not fooling anyone. Kevin's zipper is UP, for God's sake!

May have been the line of the night. But, there were so many others. Still, I'll go with this one.

[scrambled eggs]

Can the Emmys give Marc Evan Jackson an award for his combined work on The Good Place and B99? It's more than deserved.

This episode highlighted one of the best parts of an already fantastic season--the Jake/Holt relationship. Jake has become so much more open and sincere about his love and respect for Holt, and this season has been filled with some great moments between them. Last night at the warehouse when he's talking about failed marriages, or Kickz when he admits he's not sure he's ready to go back to the field (old Jake would never have been able to admit that), or the scenes in 99 at the Texas Boyle house and when Holt admits he was sabotaging the road trip. And in the other direction, Holt being honest about his gambling issues at the end of Bad Beat. It's a really special dynamic. 

[Rinaldo]

2 hours ago, peeayebee said:

Raymond: You're not fooling anyone. Kevin's zipper is UP, for God's sake!

Capt. Holt does seem to be an expert on the visual characteristics of perverts. I've never forgotten his disgust at sitting with one's hands in one's lap.

[Traveller519]

Like a soothing balm, following more than a month without B99 or The Good Place, this episode hit all the right notes for me. I enjoy Kevin's begrudging acceptance/respect for Jake, and that they didn't stick to a continued plot of Jake feeling like he needed to impress Kevin. Kevin knows Ray supports Jake, and that's all he needs to know.

I never would have thought that Amy Santiago would be against puzzles, decrying them as needing no skill. That skill is patience, Amy. I think we can understand your issue with them. Though I think there's software now that can piece together shredded documents, I get the need for the visual gag, and competent Scully (!!!). That said, I do enjoy when they employ modern crime-fighting techniques like running algorithms and analysis.

...

"He dropped her off at College last fall!!!!?!"

"Yeah, it's really weird"

[Ohiopirate02]

2 hours ago, peeayebee said:

Jake: We're perverts, see?
Raymond: You're not fooling anyone. Kevin's zipper is UP, for God's sake!

As a librarian, that comment had me cracking up. 

[Panopticon]

Dear PTV Board,

 

I’m going to text like Holt from now on.

 

Sincerely,

 

Panopticon

[dusang]

Oh my God, I love this show. I forgot Nic Cage was in Captain Corelli's Mandolin!!! Poor, poor Kevin!!!

[thuganomics85]

Brooklyn Nine-Nine is back!  The world just wasn't the same without it!  Too bad I usually work Sundays, but it is certainly worth the wait!

Any episode that has not just plenty of Holt and Jake, but Kevin in the mix is well, is great in my book.  Pretty much loved everything involving those three, and it was really great seeing so much Jake/Kevin.  I do wonder why Kevin didn't just bring a whole bunch of books to get by (or maybe the New Yorker!), and why Jake didn't just bring a whole bunch of games that don't require them to go online (unless Holt just forbade it), but it was still hilarious watching them get on each nerves and it getting so bad that Kevin finally broke down and watched the majority of Jake's Nic Cage films.  I guess I can understand why Kevin wouldn't understand the greatness that is Con Air!

And I seriously just love Holt/Kevin as a couple.  I liked how this episode balanced their comedic moments, but also their issues, and how even though Holt understandably meant well, was being extremely overprotective of Kevin.  I'm glad it ended with Kevin saving the day.  And, of course, all the crawling.  I will never not love the silly stuff that Andre Braugher is just willing to do on this show.  And Marc Evan Jackson continues to be a delight.

As for the rest, I heartily approve of this recent trend to find excuses for Rosa to use different accents/characters, because Stephanie Beatriz is just owning it.  She has really been something special these past few seasons.  Rosa ending up blonde and with a perm is the greatest! 

Wish we had more Amy, but I still enjoyed her getting all excited with the shredded paper, only to finally get broken by it.  And Terry being so sure that one of the words was Apache.  Hee!

Jake's running gag of using sitcom titles as puns might be one of my new favorites.

[RHJunkie]

Oh how I've missed this show. So many moments that had me laughing out loud - the on the ground shimmying across the safe house, the texting on the bus, the library pervert get ups, Scully's random but useful talent, Kevin's clapback scene...at this rate I'm just going to recap the entire episode, lol. Really love Kevin and Raymond together and Jake with anyone gets me laughing so having an episode focused primarily on their interactions with one another was great!

[Bort]

I loved how upset Kevin was that Jake held out on the Cage movies he would've actually been interested in watching.

[iMonrey]

My only problem with the episode is that the winter hiatus was so long I've completely forgotten who Seamus was and how he fit into the storyline. Can someone refresh me?

My favorite bit had to be Holt texting Jake using "Dear Jake" and "Sincerely, Raymond Holt." Now, it would have been funny enough if they had only exchanged one text, but the way he kept doing it through the whole bus scene made it more and more hysterical - especially after he noticed the guy following them. 

Of course, second favorite bit had to be Rosa and her hair. (Realistically, though, there's no way she could get a perm right after having her hair bleached blonde. It's would just disintegrate. Reality be damned, though, it was a great visual.)

[Lady Calypso]

8 minutes ago, iMonrey said:

My only problem with the episode is that the winter hiatus was so long I've completely forgotten who Seamus was and how he fit into the storyline. Can someone refresh me?

Seamus was the guy who helped get Jake and Rosa out of jail. Amy was going to make a deal with him to get them out, but Holt beat her to it, so that meant that Holt owed Seamus. Cut to the midseason finale, when Seamus came back for the favor (getting a permit for a party in order to cover up a crime he was planning). The team managed to stop the robbery while trying to make it seem like Holt kept up his end of the bargain, but Seamus figured it out and that's when he threatened Kevin's life at the end of that episode.

[biakbiak]

8 minutes ago, iMonrey said:

My only problem with the episode is that the winter hiatus was so long I've completely forgotten who Seamus was and how he fit into the storyline. Can someone refresh me?

Holt made a deal with him for evidence to get Jake and Rosa out of prison. The deal was that Holt owed him a facor which Seamus called in was a permit for a street festival which was going to provide cover for a robbery (?) The 99 foiled the crime and got back the tape of Seamus and Holt's deal. The cliffhanger was Seamus threatening Kevin.

[iMonrey]

Thanks Guys! 

[dusang]

1 hour ago, biakbiak said:

Holt made a deal with him for evidence to get Jake and Rosa out of prison. The deal was that Holt owed him a facor which Seamus called in was a permit for a street festival which was going to provide cover for a robbery (?) The 99 foiled the crime and got back the tape of Seamus and Holt's deal. The cliffhanger was Seamus threatening Kevin.

One point that bugged was when Jake took full responsibility for staying with Kevin because Holt was only in trouble because of him (Jake) -- which totally ignores that Rose was also in jail and got out because of the same deal.

[Bort]

53 minutes ago, dusang said:

One point that bugged was when Jake took full responsibility for staying with Kevin because Holt was only in trouble because of him (Jake) -- which totally ignores that Rose was also in jail and got out because of the same deal.

The urgency to free them was because Jake's life was in danger by being a cop in general population. Rosa wasn't in gen pop.

[biakbiak]

And Rosa and her hair suffered plenty this episode!

Edited March 20, 2018 by biakbiak

[Boofish]

Thanks to B99, my fiance and I have sex tape titles and we laugh like little kids every time one of comes up with a gem. Personal favorite- "stay right there, I'll come around back"  LOL .. 

[Loandbehold]

21 hours ago, iMonrey said:

My favorite bit had to be Holt texting Jake using "Dear Jake" and "Sincerely, Raymond Holt." Now, it would have been funny enough if they had only exchanged one text, but the way he kept doing it through the whole bus scene made it more and more hysterical - especially after he noticed the guy following them.

I knew something about that scene resonated with me. It reminds me of this classic scene:

Reverend Jim's Driver's Test

[theatremouse]

Holt's frequent visits to the safehouse sort of defeated the purpose. I thought. Anyone tailing Holt could've figured out that's where Kevin was.They just weren't being stealthy, way before the library visit. That bugged me even though I thought the jokes throughout were funny.

[AnnaRose]

46 minutes ago, theatremouse said:

Holt's frequent visits to the safehouse sort of defeated the purpose. I thought. Anyone tailing Holt could've figured out that's where Kevin was.They just weren't being stealthy, way before the library visit. That bugged me even though I thought the jokes throughout were funny.

I thought the same thing, and figured that Holt was the reason they found them at the library.  It was weird that everybody just ignored that possibility.

[peeayebee]

As long as it's funny, I don't mind the weirdness.

Edited March 22, 2018 by peeayebee

[Rinaldo]

I wasn't concerned so much about a breach in security (I could invent stories about ingenious intricate plans to make sure Holt wasn't followed), but about why he didn't bring a stack of books and writing materials for Kevin on one of his visits. Of course they had to snatch Kevin away without warning in the first place, but there's no reason they couldn't have supplied some of his needs subsequently.

[biakbiak]

I assumed tgat Holt was taking just as many precautions when he came to the safe house as he was having them do at the house/getting Kevin out of the University but since the show is only 30 minutes they didn't go into it.

[DearEvette]

Not much to add to what everyone else has said, this episode was a delight from start to finish.  The highlights:

-Holt announcing himself as 'Raymond Holt' to Kevin

- Holt's texting etiquette

- Holt and Kevin's "terrible" fights  ("he may as well have just spit in my face!") ending with them furiously crawling away

- Jake's puns

- Kevin meticulously taking notes in the library and being delighted by a footnote.  I love a man who is a scholar!

- Rosa's hair

- Scully being a shredder savant  (and it looked like it would be kinda fun just to wallow in a big room full of schredded paper)

- Kevin saving the day

I m always happy when we get to see Holt and Kevin interact so this episode was a dream!

[VCRTracking]

I didn't think anything could top Holt snapping his fingers and deadpanning "Yess Queen" but Kevin doing a "clapback" did it.

I screamed the same time as Rosa when she saw her permed, blonde hair!

[Danny Franks]

It took me a while to get around to watching this, but the wait was worth it.

I was laughing from "ah, the First Pubic War, the sexiest of all wars", and rarely stopped.

Love Holt overreacting to everything, which was honestly quite sweet. He was so worried for Kevin, that he figured out the exact spot in the apartment where it was safe to stand!

Kevin giving in and watching Jake's Nicholas Cage collection? He must have been desperate. But that joke was extra funny to me, given I just listened to the How Did This Get Made episode on Face/Off.

Holt writing his texts as formal letters was hilarious. And again, shows how well the writers know these characters. Both that Holt would do that, and that Jake would be irritated by it.

And the crawling around on the floor was funnier than it had any right to be. But this is just another example of the show understanding its characters and premise so perfectly.

Rosa reminded me so much of Marisa Tomei from My Cousin Vinny. It's always nice to see what range she has. But obviously, not as much range as Nicholas Cage.

[LvHmBirth]

I'm not picking on it, because I love this episode, but I'm doing a re-watch of Season 2 (The Pontiac Bandit Returns) and Captain Holt calls a perp a "dirt bag!" I love how Holt is somehow more pedantic now, yet more all-in on the squad shenanigans.

[scrambled eggs]

Maybe he told Kevin and was corrected about the importance of dirt bags, and has made sure not to use that term again. 

[Sandman]

On ‎2018‎-‎03‎-‎19 at 12:21 AM, Irlandesa said:

Captain Morelli's Mandolin (there's a movie about a mandolin?) and Leaving Las Vegas. I think that was my favorite part of the show too.

I howled at that -- even though I think both movies are just bad. Kevin, you didn't miss that much, really!

[Quark]

Is it me, or did Rosa sound exactly like Janice from Friends in the salon? It was hysterical.