S09.E05: PolygaMexicamist Wedding

[dreadfulLeigh]

Just started this...

”It’s a big dill. A big DILL”. 

The scrunchied hair. No, dude. Just no. 

FT looks stoned as fuck in the “are you excited you’re getting married today” questioning. Also, he does look like he’s vying for a spot on My 600lbs Life. 

[RoxieRambles]

What a contrast from Maddies wedding.

Tonys a dick...

[suomi]

22 minutes ago, Lynn said:

The look on Mykelti's face when Tony and his best man were so violently beating the crap out of her pinata was so sad.  It was such a relief when Gabe so efficiently destroyed Tony's.  Such a disturbing scene.  I wonder if that is really a wedding tradition anywhere. I would like to ask Tony's parents.

I have a really long list of questions for Tony's parents. (In my mind, that is. They seem like nice people. Bummer that they are now linked with the Browns and will share grands with them.)

[Cherrio]

31 minutes ago, Lovecat said:

I loved how she said that she didn't care what the bridesmaids did with their "bow-kays"...uh, sure.  Right.  I'm betting she pitches a fit if she walks into any of those girls' houses and doesn't find that bouquet in a special shadow box, illuminated 24/7 by a spotlight.

Best toilet bowl cleaner ever !

[neh]

3 hours ago, Gothish520 said:

LOL, it was mentioned upthread a few times. I am willing to give her a pass because she did it for Mykelti, and it took guts for her to go through with it. She fully admits that she was out of her element.

Although, someone posted a social media comment from Christine where she said she sang two songs and did much better on the one that was not shown. Either she is trying to save face, or TLC insisted on showing the bad song just to give us something to talk about. I want to see footage of that other song!

In the special after the episode TH Kody and Christine said that the second song could not be shown due to copyrights.  Let Me Call You Sweetheart is in the public domain.

[SunnyBeBe]

5 hours ago, ginger90 said:

Found this 

Application Date: 11/30/2016 
Marriage Date: 12/17/2016

Is there a link?  That's interesting. 

For a while I was wondering how long before Tony's obnoxious and annoying behavior runs Mykelti away, but, then, I started thinking that with her....she might not notice it.  I'm serious.  

Edited February 13, 2018 by SunnyBeBe

[Kbo]

36 minutes ago, Lovecat said:

OK, I read all 7 pages, and no one mentioned the overgrown flower girl??  There was Truely and another little one (Robyn's niece), and then there was a girl who looked to be in her late teens.  I mean, OK, sometimes littler girls need a minder going down the aisle (though I think those little girls would have been just fine), but that third girl seemed like an enthusiastic participant in the petal-flinging.

All apologies to the guests, but I was dying laughing when the wind caught the petals and was pelting everybody on the left side of the aisle. Reminded me of something that would happen on The Office. 

[ginger90]

10 minutes ago, SunnyBeBe said:

Is there a link?  That's interesting. 

For a while I was wondering how long before Tony's obnoxious and annoying behavior runs Mykelti away, but, then, I started thinking that with her....she might not notice it.  I'm serious.  

http://eweb.washco.utah.gov:8080/clerk/eagleweb/docSearchResults.jsp?searchId=0

[RoxieRambles]

Where do i even start...? Kody was extra annoying this episode. I love the part were he was on the couch with the sw's discussing his ponytail once again and he was fishing for compliments from them....lol....he is such a diva!

[TipseyGirl]

2 hours ago, Tabbygirl521 said:

I don’t think Robin likes him and they were all cringing, waiting for the cake smash. (What the hell is that about, anyway? The horrible mom of my twin grand babies insisted on doing that on their second birthday and of course they both cried. One cried so hard he threw up. And they both looked so betrayed. They had these big smiles when they saw the cake, then WHAM. I think it caught my son by surprise too. 

Those poor babies :’(

I’m outraged on your behalf .

[ThinkerBell]

Tony compromised on the cake . . . instead of shoving it into Mykelti's face, he gladly shoved it into his own and then down his greedy, uncouth neck.

[xwordfanatik]

The comments about keys on Tony's belt or belt loops make me think his job as a "banker" is something in the maintenance department.  Where I worked most recently, it was the maintenance staff and some of the other blue collar workers (of which I was one) did that with their keys.  I would bet $ that he's not doing a job that requires public contact.

Was there ever a crappier looking groom?  If so, please post "pitchers."  (pictures, for those of us that don't use BrownSpeak.)

[RoxieRambles]

No party is complete without kodys awesome dance moves!

[dreadfulLeigh]

Tony legit has a pregnancy waddle. 

[kicotan]

1 hour ago, Lynn said:

The look on Mykelti's face when Tony and his best man were so violently beating the crap out of her pinata was so sad.  It was such a relief when Gabe so efficiently destroyed Tony's.  Such a disturbing scene.  I wonder if that is really a wedding tradition anywhere. I would like to ask Tony's parents.

I grew up in an agricultural community in Northern Santa Barbara County, California.  It is an area rich in Mexican population, history, tradition and culture.  I have attended many celebrations within the community and I've never heard of nor witnessed piñatas at a wedding reception.

 I've also never seen them used at quinceañera, baptism, confirmation, funeral, Christmas or Easter parties/receptions.  The only time I've ever seen them was at birthday parties, family reunions or cinco de mayo parties where the kids are blindfolded and take turns trying to bust it open whilst someone, usually an older kid not involved in the turn taking or an adult, is raising/lowering the piñata as part of the game.

Edited February 13, 2018 by kicotan
I've got the OCD...among other things

[Tabbygirl521]

10 minutes ago, dreadfulLeigh said:

Tony legit has a pregnancy waddle. 

Heh. It is also sad that at his age, he has the size of gut that would make it hard to find his dick. 

[dreadfulLeigh]

2 minutes ago, Tabbygirl521 said:

Heh. It is also sad that at his age, he has the size of gut that would make it hard to find his dick. 

I read this as “ he has the size of gut that would make it hard to suck his dick” ? ? ? 

Edited February 13, 2018 by dreadfulLeigh
Because while his sick will probably make you sick, it’s dick not sick

[Tabbygirl521]

8 minutes ago, kicotan said:

I grew up in an agricultural community in Northern Santa Barbara County, California.  It is an area rich in Mexican population, history, tradition and culture.  I have attended many celebrations within the community and I've never heard of nor witnessed piñatas at a wedding reception.

 I've also never seen them used at quinceañera, baptism, confirmation, funeral, Christmas or Easter parties/receptions.  The only time I've ever seen them was at birthday parties, family reunions or cinco de mayo parties where the kids are blindfolded and take turns trying to bust it open whilst someone, usually an older kid not involved in the turn taking or an adult, is raising/lowering the piñata as part of the game.

Bride and groom piñatas are all over the internet and I guess they do get broken at weddings but I haven’t found any indication that the idea is to pound the shit out of them to “get rid of all your anger as a good start to your marriage” or whatever Mykelti said. If you have that level of anger at your betrothed, perhaps that person is not someone you want to marry. 

1 minute ago, dreadfulLeigh said:

I read this as “ he has the size of gut that would make it hard to suck his sick” ? ? ? 

Dear God!! LOL. That, too

[Kyanight]

2 hours ago, GussieK said:

I thought one of the most telling moments was how Kody said a polygamist wedding is never really a happy occasion because the groom is worrying about all the wives (and tacitly acknowledging that all the wives are hating each other with the power of a thousand suns). 

BINGO!  So.... if the wives are UNHAPPY - WHY is polygamy a GOOD thing for ANYONE but the husband who gets a smorgasbord of sexual partners?

[dreadfulLeigh]

22 hours ago, VedaPierce said:

One hour and 5 minutes into the show, Meri FINALLY decides to participate and speak. She brayed something about liking the frisbees. What the hell is she getting payed for? Useless Meri brings as much to the show as she does to her sisterwives.

I swear I saw her face thinking “must say something, must say something”....FRISBESSSSSSSSSS!!

[Kyanight]

1 hour ago, Lynn said:

The look on Mykelti's face when Tony and his best man were so violently beating the crap out of her pinata was so sad.  It was such a relief when Gabe so efficiently destroyed Tony's.  Such a disturbing scene.  I wonder if that is really a wedding tradition anywhere. I would like to ask Tony's parents.

You would think domestic violence groups would be up in arms over that travesty.

[toodles]

39 minutes ago, xwordfanatik said:

The comments about keys on Tony's belt or belt loops make me think his job as a "banker" is something in the maintenance department.  Where I worked most recently, it was the maintenance staff and some of the other blue collar workers (of which I was one) did that with their keys.  I would bet $ that he's not doing a job that requires public contact.

Was there ever a crappier looking groom?  If so, please post "pitchers."  (pictures, for those of us that don't use BrownSpeak.)

Try this one.  https://pin.it/5l2vm7m2q6g3rh.  Or this onehttps://www.pinterest.com/pin/AVUZZ811MNdNoMSYOGy4T-kNpizBom3o4W5LCBju4I8m1pcoQEwR4-I/

Edited February 13, 2018 by toodles
One more

[Kyanight]

1 minute ago, toodles said:

Try this one.  https://pin.it/5l2vm7m2q6g3rh

Yeah.  um.... that is freaking gross.

[Mollypup]

I have never registered to make comments on a social media website, but I was compelled to do so because Tony is an embarrassment to those of us from Mexican culture.  I have immigrant parents and have attended weddings both in Mexico and the US, and I have never seen pinatas of the sort that was shown on the program.  This is Tony's wedding fantasy and he is getting away with his outlandish behavior in the name of tradition.  

The song that the guests were singing is usually spirited and enthusiastic when children are hitting a pinata. It was very subdued mostly likely due to the discomfort of the guests in being a part of this activity.  

[dreadfulLeigh]

14 hours ago, ginger90 said:

 

 

So, wait. They had to suffer through 2 caterwaulings?? Guess the ENT docs got some good business. 

[Adeejay]

On ‎2‎/‎12‎/‎2018 at 10:58 AM, neh said:

Christine is obviously overcompensating.  I bet that Christine will be very different at Aspyn's wedding.

That she is.  When Christine didn't initially take to Tony and voiced her opinion, some viewers said it was because he was Mexican and called her a racist. 

When they were reciting their vows, I noticed that Mykelti’s arms were turning blue.  I wonder why she didn’t wear the beautiful shawl that Janelle had given her. 

Regarding Christine's singing, as my late grandmother would say, “bless her heart.” 

Edited February 17, 2018 by Adeejay

[athousandclowns]

37 minutes ago, kicotan said:

I grew up in an agricultural community in Northern Santa Barbara County, California.  It is an area rich in Mexican population, history, tradition and culture.  I have attended many celebrations within the community and I've never heard of nor witnessed piñatas at a wedding reception.

 I've also never seen them used at quinceañera, baptism, confirmation, funeral, Christmas or Easter parties/receptions.  The only time I've ever seen them was at birthday parties, family reunions or cinco de mayo parties where the kids are blindfolded and take turns trying to bust it open whilst someone, usually an older kid not involved in the turn taking or an adult, is raising/lowering the piñata as part of the game.

Santa Maria by chance?? I admit to having trouble locating one to bring to even out of town.....I was a transplant though. 

The ring they talk about is it the symbol of heart and hands? Anyone? 

[dreadfulLeigh]

FT dancing. No no no no nooooooo. It was so, uh, aggressive? Manic? Like watching my brother when he was young trying to rip the leg off a Barbie by wacking it against the floor. Truly, it looked like his goal was to dislocate her arm.

Christine, lower your damn meds! I wish someone would cut together every one of her delusional, gushing endorsements of FT. I bet there’d be a good 20 minutes of footage. 

12 hours ago, Libby said:

Robyn could have had someone else stay inside with the baby during the ceremony.

Nope, she wanted to make sure that the camera caught her being a selfless sister mom falling on her sword for Mykelti. If she had to use her sick baby to make sure that the audience caught her martyr act, so be it. Typical manipulative, sneaky, Robyn.

Eh, I don’t know. If my baby is sick, I wouldn’t be too quick to just hand her off. Especially for that stupid twit. 

Although, I wouldn’t be sitting outside with her either. Regardless of whatever shade they’d throw. 

[kicotan]

7 minutes ago, athousandclowns said:

Santa Maria by chance??

Yes, indeed. Born and raised there!  Moved out by the Los Padres National Forest on the other side of the strawberry fields/grape vines when I was 6!  The "block" in my neighborhood was 15 miles long! ?

Edited February 13, 2018 by kicotan

[dreadfulLeigh]

7 hours ago, Cherrio said:

The shirt was 4 stomachs too small for him, 400 tacos too small or both.

I can’t ❤️  this enough ? 

[LilWharveyGal]

Move over, Will and Kate.  It’s time for the weddingk of the century, a mere 14 months after it actually happened!  Grab your piñata-bashin’ sticks, non-watchers, and let’s see what happens…

Previouslies:

Mariah was not excited about version 1.0 of Meri's plan to buy a B&B and turn a profit.

The well-meaning guitarist couldn't get Christine to sing in a lower key.

Taco math at the country club.

It's still dark as the family arrives at the country club on the morning of the wedding to work on the set-up, and my my, did Kody lose a fight with a curling iron?  He's looking extra just-stuck-finger-in-light-socket on the couch.  Mykelti's brothers, Christine's friend Ashli, and some of Tony's family are there to help Mykelti.  Christine's wearing a t-shirt that says, "Don't Mess With The M.O.B. (Mother of the Bride)."  She always makes me wish I owned stock in Vegas party supply stores.  Christine voiceovers that Mykelti only invited helpers that she felt she could boss around, and that doesn't include Tony.  As she hugs Tony's relatives, Christine continues that the Catholic Mexicans probably had preconceived notions about the polygamists prior to all this, and vice versa.  Garlands of maroon and white faux flowers are hung in the windows of the club.  Christine mentions that she has to sing and that she's nervous.  Outside in the wind, Taunya and another helper are bundled up and setting up chairs.  Mykelti is now departing for a timeshare rented by her parents where she stayed with her bridesmaids the night before.  They all need to get their hair and makeup done before the photo session at 1:00.  Bridesmaid Rachel asks Mykelti what the biggest adjustment to married life will be, and Mykelti responds that it'll be calling Tony, "husband."  By the way, they're using nail polish remover on her special maroon manicure which she just got in the last episode.  Christine voiceovers that she never called Kody, "husband."  Kody adds that it was because they had to hide their polygamy, and that it's his biggest regret of their marriage, but that they've completely corrected that.  Meri CHECKS HER WATCH.

Tony and the bros-men are at Mykelti's apartment.  One named Zack says he'll be freezing at the wedding and need a blanket, and Tony tells him that he'll get one as a party favor.  Bedding:  the gift that keeps on giving.  It's 11:00 and a couple of the bros have video game controllers in their hands.  There is confusion over the timeline, which luckily one competent bro accesses on his phone, and Tony decrees that they'll leave at 12:00.  Christine voiceovers that Tony expresses himself with his actions, not his words.  Robyn shares a story about asking Tony if he was excited to get married, and Tony deadpanned, "Yeah."  Killer story, Robyn.  Back at Mykelti's, Tony tells a producer that he's super excited.  Kody voiceovers that the wedding day for a polygamist man is stressful and kind of sad, because he has to balance the feelings of all the wives rather than focusing on the special day with one partner.  Flashbacks to all the Brown weddings.  Kody's advice to any bride or groom would be to acknowledge each other and make the day festive.  At the timeshare, Kody shows up in a suit and a ponytail.  The younger daughters aren't having it.  On the couch, Robyn and Janelle vote for the ponytail, but Christine says it doesn't work with the jacket and bow tie.  Meri is also against.  Christine explains that Kody has to dress differently for dates with all of the wives.  Apparently the ponytail makes Janelle growl.  "One time!" she protests.

Commercials.  Off topic, but how on earth is My Big Fat Fabulous Life still going?

Hair and makeup continues.  Truely wants to do her own makeup.  Someone asks a very pale Maddie when she's due, and the answer is the middle of May.  The Brown-Brushes don't know if it's a girl or a boy yet, but they both want a boy.  Maddie wants their next pregnancy to be twins.  The wives reiterate everything Maddie just said, and add that they have polygamist triplets - Gabe, Gwen, and Aurora are the same age.  Mykelti hot-glues the fabric flowers of her bridal bouquet while Christine starts bellowing about stress, and from the makeup chair Aspyn asks her to please stop.  Kody voiceovers that when Christine worries it affects everyone around her.  Christine says that Mykelti doesn't stress, and Robyn adds that Mykelti seems to do best in the middle of a storm.  She's all set for life with Tony, then.  Mykelti voiceovers that she loves her bouquet and is very pleased with her decision to use fabric flowers rather than the real thing.  In the timeshare, she hands out the bridesmaids' bouquets, and tells the girls that they're theirs to do with as they wish after the wedding.  Gee, you girls just hit the jackpot!  Christine voiceovers again about how much work the flowers were.  Janelle, Robyn, and Meri arrive at the timeshare where Christine is now doing Mykelti's hair.  Robyn rehashes her fight with Tony over Mykelti's hairstyle, and says that they both won because it's going to be half-up, half-down.  It's time for the wives' gifts.  Robyn presents Mykelti with something old, an antique gold hair pin and earrings.  Her ulterior motive behind the pin was to ensure Mykelti's hair would be worn up.  For the something new, Janelle offers two styles of fur "caplet" to keep Mykelti warm at the wedding.  Christine points out that they're not real fur.  Mykelti voiceovers her relief that the "pashminas" weren't made of sad, dead animals.  Mykelti tries on one of the options that looks like a white faux fur stole with blingy button.  Meri is something blue, and she gives Mykelti a set of 5 pearl bracelets, some of which contain blue pearls.  Meri voiceovers that Mykelti had a very firm vision of her life when she was in high school, but now she has transformed into a woman and has a new dream and focus.  Christine shares the story of the wedding dress flowers with everyone as her something borrowed.  Mykelti voiceovers that all of the gifts mean a lot to her.  Janelle asks if Maddie can put on a coat after the ceremony.  Mykelti pipes up that she has pashminas for all of the bridesmaids and they can even change their shoes if they want.  Janelle and Kody voiceover that they're worried about Maddie and don't want her to get sick.  Robyn has hats and coats for Ari and Sol who are already sick.  There were puddles of ice at the country club that morning, but there is no contingency plan.  

Speaking of the club, it's 1:00 and we're there.  Mykelti shows the bridesmaids how to wear their pashminas while they walk in, basically hanging from the crook of each elbow where they'll provide as little warmth as possible.  But if they're good children they may move them up to cover their shoulders during the ceremony.  Kody sets up an arbor festooned with lace, maroon ribbon, and pearls.  He and the wives gush over the Entitlement Twins being a perfect match.  The girls get their pictures taken, Mykelti puts on red sneakers, and Aspyn gives her a bracelet that says, "Novia."  This means "girlfriend" in Spanish and is what Tony calls Mykelti.  Mykelti is touched and starts to cry.  It's 1:30 and Tony goes looking for the bridesmaids.  He's not allowed to enter the room but he calls out that it's time for pictures and that they're being slowpokes.  Mykelti asks him to go away and she'll be there in 5 minutes.  The photographer tries to steer him into position for the first look photos, which is not a term that Tony understands.  He's wearing jeans with a big carabiner of keys attached to the back, and in his maroon shirt he looks like, "10 lbs of baloney in a 5 lb bag,"  (TM @LucyEth - you slay me!) so I'm shocked that he's considered photo-ready.  Tony voiceovers that he's already seen Mykelti in her dress, so what's the big deal?  A second later the carabiner is gone and he puts on a gray blazer as he continues to follow the photographer.  Tony reflects on Kody's advice to enjoy the day with Mykelti and not get distracted by everything else, and we flashback to Kody's blessing.   Mykelti voiceovers that she's very excited for Tony to see her.  As they head outside for the photos, one bridesmaid has her pashmina hanging around her neck.  Off with her head!  The first look reveal comes off without a hitch, and I must admit, Tony was more genuinely complementary about Mykelti's appearance than I thought he'd be.  On the couch, the Entitlement Twins rekindle the great hair debate, but back at the photo session Tony is joking about boobs and Mykelti is twerking, so it's tacky business as usual.  

The photo shoot continues, lights are strung, and blankets are deposited on the chairs.  On the couch, Mykelti asks Tony if he has any jitters.  He says he's excited.  At the venue, Christine is excited and nervous about singingk.  At 2:30, Mykelti wants all family members downstairs to get ready to walk in, but there's a snag.  Kody is looking for his shirts, which Christine forgot at the hotel.  With an annoyed flip of his hair Kody heads out to retrieve said shirts.  Tony's family is also AWOL.  Mykelti continues to insist everyone needs to be downstairs, but Christine is adamant that she needs to stay upstairs to wait for Kody.  Tony's also upstairs being entertained by one guest's musical tie.  Big Friendly Giant Paedon announces that Tony's family has arrived, and Christine asks him to take them downstairs.  Mykelti icily repeats that she wants Christine downstairs.  But Christine's still upstairs, where Logan tells her that Kody hasn't responded to his texts.  Really, show?  In the immortal words of Gwen Stefani, "This sh*t is bananas."

The drama continues after the break.  It's 3:00, Kody still hasn't arrived, and Mykelti bellows at everyone in the room to line up.  Supreme Leader is displeased and will not be allowing the bridesmaids to wear their pashminas after all.  Upstairs, Kody arrives and tells Christine she looks stunning.  He's wearing black leather gloves with his wedding suit.  The two of them finally go downstairs and get choked up over Mykelti's appearance, though Kody adds that she was, "kind of exposed...but it's her choice."  Christine says that she always hoped Mykelti would find a partner who would get her, and Tony does.  Christine adds that when she doesn't understand Kody, "that's what sister wives are for."  The guests are assembling and we return to the scintillating topic of the weather.  Ariella cries, and everyone bundles up in coats and blankets.  Dawn gets on the PA system to explain to the guests what to do with the mini-Frisbees they're being handed.  Meri voiceovers that she loves the Frisbee idea.  Robyn comments that she was debating whether or not to take Ariella inside, but she wanted to be able to see and hear everything.  At last the processional starts, capped off by Kody and Mykelti coming down the aisle.  After giving his blessing, Kody gives Tony a big slap on the arm and goes to sit down.  He voiceovers that since Tony is taking Mykelti away, Kody wanted his two pounds of flesh.  Officiant Chris begins the ceremony, and a lady named Juanita is translating into Spanish.  Kody says they're a bilingual crowd. Robyn voiceovers that the cold doesn't seem to be bothering the Entitlement Twins, and Mykelti isn't even wearing her "caplet."  As Chris continues his Frisbee-laden message, Tony keeps making little asides.  Meri voiceovers again how she loves the whole Frisbee thing.  Robyn and Kody feel compelled to explain that you would never see this at a polygamist wedding, which is just for adults and, Janelle adds, very sacred.  Back at the ceremony, Tony takes off his jacket to give to Mykelti.  Christine takes this as a sign that this makes Tony an incredible person.  

Mykelti and Tony then read messages they wrote to each other, and again I have to admit they exceeded my expectations.  There wasn't a boob or a twerk to be heard.  We move on to the rings and the vows, then the Entitlement Twins are pronounced husband and wife and eagerly kiss.  As they recess, they are totally surprised by the mini-Frisbees.   The wives comment on how happy Mykelti looked, and how the ceremony was like witnessing a private moment between them.  Indoors at the club, Paedon shakes Tony's hand and tells him he's now part of the family.  Gabriel gives Tony a hug.  On the couch, Gwendolyn and Dayton express their happiness about the wedding.  Now it's family "pitcher" time and there's more angst about having to go back out into the cold.  "This executive decision is not a good one," says Kody.  Mykelti states that it's her decision.  Kody counters that he is not making Ariella go outside.  

After the break, Mykelti acquiesces and says that Robyn's family picture can take place inside.  Ooh, was that a cliffhanger or what!  Christine's family heads out for pictures first.  On the couch, Kody helpfully lists off every possible grouping you can have in wedding pictures.  Christine says that picture time was possibly ten degrees colder than the ceremony.  Her girls are wearing blankets and doing jumping jacks to stay warm.  The shots look cute, but Mykelti seems to realize what an uncomfortable idea it is and tells everyone to head back inside for the rest of the photos.  The photographer attempts to group up the entire Brown clan in the lobby while guests are mingling around.  Then it's time to eat tacos, which Tony calls the staple food for the world.  Kody voiceovers that Tony was right about needing more tacos for the guests.  Robyn says that Mykelti should have a pillow that says, "Tony was right," on one side, and "Tony wasn't right," on the other side, that she can flip as appropriate.  At the reception, Kody gets on the mic to welcome everyone to Tony and Mykelti's party.  Juanita is again translating.  Kody begins talking about the adventure of getting to know Tony while the buffet line awkwardly shuffles along behind him.  He says that Tony's parents, Antonio and Maria, have become a brother and sister to himself and Christine, and goes on about how both groups want their kids to be happy.  To be honest, I just noticed that Mykelti's hair seems to be red at the scalp and black at the ends, so I tuned Kody out a bit while I was trying to figure out what follicular shenanigans were going on.  Kody calls Christine up.  It's time for her to sing, and guess what?  She's nervous!       

After a few words, Christine begins to sing, and yes, it really is as bad and as embarrassing as everyone here has already said.  I’m pretty sure that Tony and Mykelti's anniversary shall forevermore be remembered in St. George as The Day The Music Died.  Christine voiceovers for what has to be the fourth time that she's wants her song to demonstrate her acceptance of Tony and Mykelti as a couple.  Mykelti voiceovers that she's always liked her mom's voice and that it meant a lot to her that Christine would sing at her wedding.  Christine says again that she was nervous and never quite got the hang of singing with the guitar.  Kiss-up Robyn insists it was awesome and sweet.  Now it's time for cake.  The Entitlement Twins attempt to cut a slice from a single-layer cake with a giant red king chess piece on top.  Tony removes the king to make a deeper cut.  The wives voiceover about Tony's plans to shove the cake into Mykelti's face.  They totally mangle the slice but each manage to get a forkful cleanly into the other's mouth.  There are several bigger cakes on display behind the two chess cakes, and Tony asks which one is Tres Leches.  He scrapes a wedge of it out with his fork.  Now it's time to go outside and dance in a heated tent, and that cake has sure fueled Tony up because he's really moving.  Whatever song they're really dancing to under TLC's cheap filler music is clearly too fast paced for their moves.  He twirls Mykelti and she has to pull her bodice back up.  Christine thinks that they danced great together.  Then Christine and Maria join Tony and Mykelti on the floor, and Christine says that Tony was such a great dancer it was difficult to follow him.  It looks to me like he's just doing "I'm A Little Teapot" arms in triple time, but what do I know.  Christine's clearly the music aficionado here.  

20 more minutes are left?!  Come on, Browns, I’m missing the Olympics for this.  And Frisbee Flinging and Cake Shoveling are not medal-worthy substitutes!  Oh gee, they've clearly heard my plea for more action because it's pinata time.  Not what I meant, Browns, I take it back!  Christine explains the bride/groom pinata situation to us for the thousandth time.  She adds that pinatas at a polygamist wedding would be really really bad, with the old wives bashing the pinata of the new bride.  Robyn and Kody perform synchronized facepalming.  Christine continues that the pinata method would be cheaper than therapy, and that she's going to get everybody their own personalized pinata for Christmas.  Then she starts cackling and I feel like we might be witnessing an actual psychotic break.  Back at the reception, Pinata Mykelti is hanging from the tent and Tony goes to town on it with his bat.  The big cheater isn't even blindfolded.  Then another man takes a turn.  Finally, Aurora takes a whack and is able to break the pinata, and little kids swarm on the candy.  Now it's Mykelti's turn and she beats the pants off of Pinata Tony but does not break him.  Garrison comes up and brandishes the bat in Tony's direction, then with two swings he breaks Pinata Tony.  The kids again descend like a plague.  The Entitlement Twins voiceover that hitting the pinatas was therapeutic.  Kody voiceovers that he now wants a pinata that looks like him, "or a jackass."  Wow, refreshing self-awareness there, Kodster.  We're treated to a dance montage, and Kody clearly graduated from the same dance school as Tony.  In what feels like a final interview, I hope, the Entitlement Twins are happy about how the day turned out, to which Tony adds, "magnaminous."  

Next week:  Mariah has a girlfriend and wants to go to a gay rights march in Washington D.C.  Meri and Janelle perform their annual rendition of, "How Do I Hate Thee?  Let Me Count The Ways," with special guest appearance by Therapist Nancy.

Edited February 13, 2018 by LilWharveyGal

[Sandy W]

1 hour ago, Kyanight said:

BINGO!  So.... if the wives are UNHAPPY - WHY is polygamy a GOOD thing for ANYONE but the husband who gets a smorgasbord of sexual partners?

It may be a smorgasbord, but it's quantity over quality.

[Starsandbucks]

A wedding being outdoors generally isn’t mentioned on the invite, is it? Can you imagine going to the country club and assuming(because you’re a normal, intelligent human being) that the whole shin-dig would be inside, only to get there and find out that the ceremony is being performed in the great outdoors? The great windy, freezing, rainy outdoors. I bet a lot of guests, women especially, didn’t dress appropriately since they didn’t think they’d be sitting out in the December cold for an hour. Most women’s dressy clothing is sleeveless or lightweight or a lot of women forgo hosiery, etc. Yeah, no way I’d be shivering my buns off outside! 

My DVR picked up an episode from last year and a lot of the older kids are hanging around one of the kitchens and Tony is there. Apparently Robyn baked him a cheesecake and FT blurts out, “Where’s the cheesecake?” Oh for the love, Tony! Wait five minutes until it’s actually offered to you! My god he is so rude!!! 

[Kohola3]

22 minutes ago, LilWharveyGal said:

Move over, Will and Kate.  It’s time for the weddingk of the century, a mere 14 months after it actually happened!  Grab your piñata-bashin’ sticks, non-watchers, and let’s see what happens…

LilWharveyGal, brilliant as always.  I was laughing out loud...

[Kyanight]

28 minutes ago, LilWharveyGal said:

It looks to me like he's just doing "I'm A Little Teapot" arms in triple time, but what do I know.  Christine's clearly the music aficionado here.  

Laughed out loud!!!!  LOLOL

[riverblue22]

50 minutes ago, LilWharveyGal said:

Commercials.  Off topic, but how on earth is My Big Fat Fabulous Life still going?

Oh, that's an easy one.  Twitney Way Thore is in a head to head contest with FT for the title of most obnoxious and hated reality personality!

[Gothish520]

Quote

By the way, they're using nail polish remover on her special maroon manicure which she just got in the last episode. 

@LilWharveyGal, when I saw her removing the nail polish, I did not even remember that she just (supposedly) got her nails done for the wedding! I wonder if the producers focus on certain stuff knowing that people will pick up on it.

[Love2dance]

@LilWharveyGal, thank you so much for the always fun, entertaining synopsis. I am way too overwhelmed trying to watch all of the Olympics, and now you’ve saved me the whole wedding episode’s time period to catch some extra events.  ?⛷?⛸ 

I think your recaps are actually more fun than the show, anyway. We all owe you!

[DragonFaerie]

47 minutes ago, Love2dance said:

@LilWharveyGal, thank you so much for the always fun, entertaining synopsis. I am way too overwhelmed trying to watch all of the Olympics, and now you’ve saved me the whole wedding episode’s time period to catch some extra events.  ?⛷?⛸ 

I think your recaps are actually more fun than the show, anyway. We all owe you!

I totally agree!  Big thank to you @LILWHARVEYGAL.  I'm also an Olympic junkie - currently reading here, watching hockey on tv, while I have another tab on the computer open and watching women's luge streaming.  I figure once the Olympic's are over, I'll have a ton of stuff to catch up on.

[trimthatfat]

9 hours ago, Lovecat said:

OK, I read all 7 pages, and no one mentioned the overgrown flower girl??  There was Truely and another little one (Robyn's niece), and then there was a girl who looked to be in her late teens.  I mean, OK, sometimes littler girls need a minder going down the aisle (though I think those little girls would have been just fine), but that third girl seemed like an enthusiastic participant in the petal-flinging.

I am pretty sure that was Tony's sister. I just assumed it was yet another ~quirky~ touch by the bride and groom.

[toodles]

8 hours ago, LilWharveyGal said:

Move over, Will and Kate.  It’s time for the weddingk of the century, a mere 14 months after it actually happened!  Grab your piñata-bashin’ sticks, non-watchers, and let’s see what happens…

Previouslies:

Mariah was not excited about version 1.0 of Meri's plan to buy a B&B and turn a profit.

The well-meaning guitarist couldn't get Christine to sing in a lower key.

Taco math at the country club.

It's still dark as the family arrives at the country club on the morning of the wedding to work on the set-up, and my my, did Kody lose a fight with a curling iron?  He's looking extra just-stuck-finger-in-light-socket on the couch.  Mykelti's brothers, Christine's friend Ashli, and some of Tony's family are there to help Mykelti.  Christine's wearing a t-shirt that says, "Don't Mess With The M.O.B. (Mother of the Bride)."  She always makes me wish I owned stock in Vegas party supply stores.  Christine voiceovers that Mykelti only invited helpers that she felt she could boss around, and that doesn't include Tony.  As she hugs Tony's relatives, Christine continues that the Catholic Mexicans probably had preconceived notions about the polygamists prior to all this, and vice versa.  Garlands of maroon and white faux flowers are hung in the windows of the club.  Christine mentions that she has to sing and that she's nervous.  Outside in the wind, Taunya and another helper are bundled up and setting up chairs.  Mykelti is now departing for a timeshare rented by her parents where she stayed with her bridesmaids the night before.  They all need to get their hair and makeup done before the photo session at 1:00.  Bridesmaid Rachel asks Mykelti what the biggest adjustment to married life will be, and Mykelti responds that it'll be calling Tony, "husband."  By the way, they're using nail polish remover on her special maroon manicure which she just got in the last episode.  Christine voiceovers that she never called Kody, "husband."  Kody adds that it was because they had to hide their polygamy, and that it's his biggest regret of their marriage, but that they've completely corrected that.  Meri CHECKS HER WATCH.

Tony and the bros-men are at Mykelti's apartment.  One named Zack says he'll be freezing at the wedding and need a blanket, and Tony tells him that he'll get one as a party favor.  Bedding:  the gift that keeps on giving.  It's 11:00 and a couple of the bros have video game controllers in their hands.  There is confusion over the timeline, which luckily one competent bro accesses on his phone, and Tony decrees that they'll leave at 12:00.  Christine voiceovers that Tony expresses himself with his actions, not his words.  Robyn shares a story about asking Tony if he was excited to get married, and Tony deadpanned, "Yeah."  Killer story, Robyn.  Back at Mykelti's, Tony tells a producer that he's super excited.  Kody voiceovers that the wedding day for a polygamist man is stressful and kind of sad, because he has to balance the feelings of all the wives rather than focusing on the special day with one partner.  Flashbacks to all the Brown weddings.  Kody's advice to any bride or groom would be to acknowledge each other and make the day festive.  At the timeshare, Kody shows up in a suit and a ponytail.  The younger daughters aren't having it.  On the couch, Robyn and Janelle vote for the ponytail, but Christine says it doesn't work with the jacket and bow tie.  Meri is also against.  Christine explains that Kody has to dress differently for dates with all of the wives.  Apparently the ponytail makes Janelle growl.  "One time!" she protests.

Commercials.  Off topic, but how on earth is My Big Fat Fabulous Life still going?

Hair and makeup continues.  Truely wants to do her own makeup.  Someone asks a very pale Maddie when she's due, and the answer is the middle of May.  The Brown-Brushes don't know if it's a girl or a boy yet, but they both want a boy.  Maddie wants their next pregnancy to be twins.  The wives reiterate everything Maddie just said, and add that they have polygamist triplets - Gabe, Gwen, and Aurora are the same age.  Mykelti hot-glues the fabric flowers of her bridal bouquet while Christine starts bellowing about stress, and from the makeup chair Aspyn asks her to please stop.  Kody voiceovers that when Christine worries it affects everyone around her.  Christine says that Mykelti doesn't stress, and Robyn adds that Mykelti seems to do best in the middle of a storm.  She's all set for life with Tony, then.  Mykelti voiceovers that she loves her bouquet and is very pleased with her decision to use fabric flowers rather than the real thing.  In the timeshare, she hands out the bridesmaids' bouquets, and tells the girls that they're theirs to do with as they wish after the wedding.  Gee, you girls just hit the jackpot!  Christine voiceovers again about how much work the flowers were.  Janelle, Robyn, and Meri arrive at the timeshare where Christine is now doing Mykelti's hair.  Robyn rehashes her fight with Tony over Mykelti's hairstyle, and says that they both won because it's going to be half-up, half-down.  It's time for the wives' gifts.  Robyn presents Mykelti with something old, an antique gold hair pin and earrings.  Her ulterior motive behind the pin was to ensure Mykelti's hair would be worn up.  For the something new, Janelle offers two styles of fur "caplet" to keep Mykelti warm at the wedding.  Christine points out that they're not real fur.  Mykelti voiceovers her relief that the "pashminas" weren't made of sad, dead animals.  Mykelti tries on one of the options that looks like a white faux fur stole with blingy button.  Meri is something blue, and she gives Mykelti a set of 5 pearl bracelets, some of which contain blue pearls.  Meri voiceovers that Mykelti had a very firm vision of her life when she was in high school, but now she has transformed into a woman and has a new dream and focus.  Christine shares the story of the wedding dress flowers with everyone as her something borrowed.  Mykelti voiceovers that all of the gifts mean a lot to her.  Janelle asks if Maddie can put on a coat after the ceremony.  Mykelti pipes up that she has pashminas for all of the bridesmaids and they can even change their shoes if they want.  Janelle and Kody voiceover that they're worried about Maddie and don't want her to get sick.  Robyn has hats and coats for Ari and Sol who are already sick.  There were puddles of ice at the country club that morning, but there is no contingency plan.  

Speaking of the club, it's 1:00 and we're there.  Mykelti shows the bridesmaids how to wear their pashminas while they walk in, basically hanging from the crook of each elbow where they'll provide as little warmth as possible.  But if they're good children they may move them up to cover their shoulders during the ceremony.  Kody sets up an arbor festooned with lace, maroon ribbon, and pearls.  He and the wives gush over the Entitlement Twins being a perfect match.  The girls get their pictures taken, Mykelti puts on red sneakers, and Aspyn gives her a bracelet that says, "Novia."  This means "girlfriend" in Spanish and is what Tony calls Mykelti.  Mykelti is touched and starts to cry.  It's 1:30 and Tony goes looking for the bridesmaids.  He's not allowed to enter the room but he calls out that it's time for pictures and that they're being slowpokes.  Mykelti asks him to go away and she'll be there in 5 minutes.  The photographer tries to steer him into position for the first look photos, which is not a term that Tony understands.  He's wearing jeans with a big carabiner of keys attached to the back, and in his maroon shirt he looks like, "10 lbs of baloney in a 5 lb bag,"  (TM @LucyEth - you slay me!) so I'm shocked that he's considered photo-ready.  Tony voiceovers that he's already seen Mykelti in her dress, so what's the big deal?  A second later the carabiner is gone and he puts on a gray blazer as he continues to follow the photographer.  Tony reflects on Kody's advice to enjoy the day with Mykelti and not get distracted by everything else, and we flashback to Kody's blessing.   Mykelti voiceovers that she's very excited for Tony to see her.  As they head outside for the photos, one bridesmaid has her pashmina hanging around her neck.  Off with her head!  The first look reveal comes off without a hitch, and I must admit, Tony was more genuinely complementary about Mykelti's appearance than I thought he'd be.  On the couch, the Entitlement Twins rekindle the great hair debate, but back at the photo session Tony is joking about boobs and Mykelti is twerking, so it's tacky business as usual.  

The photo shoot continues, lights are strung, and blankets are deposited on the chairs.  On the couch, Mykelti asks Tony if he has any jitters.  He says he's excited.  At the venue, Christine is excited and nervous about singingk.  At 2:30, Mykelti wants all family members downstairs to get ready to walk in, but there's a snag.  Kody is looking for his shirts, which Christine forgot at the hotel.  With an annoyed flip of his hair Kody heads out to retrieve said shirts.  Tony's family is also AWOL.  Mykelti continues to insist everyone needs to be downstairs, but Christine is adamant that she needs to stay upstairs to wait for Kody.  Tony's also upstairs being entertained by one guest's musical tie.  Big Friendly Giant Paedon announces that Tony's family has arrived, and Christine asks him to take them downstairs.  Mykelti icily repeats that she wants Christine downstairs.  But Christine's still upstairs, where Logan tells her that Kody hasn't responded to his texts.  Really, show?  In the immortal words of Gwen Stefani, "This sh*t is bananas."

The drama continues after the break.  It's 3:00, Kody still hasn't arrived, and Mykelti bellows at everyone in the room to line up.  Supreme Leader is displeased and will not be allowing the bridesmaids to wear their pashminas after all.  Upstairs, Kody arrives and tells Christine she looks stunning.  He's wearing black leather gloves with his wedding suit.  The two of them finally go downstairs and get choked up over Mykelti's appearance, though Kody adds that she was, "kind of exposed...but it's her choice."  Christine says that she always hoped Mykelti would find a partner who would get her, and Tony does.  Christine adds that when she doesn't understand Kody, "that's what sister wives are for."  The guests are assembling and we return to the scintillating topic of the weather.  Ariella cries, and everyone bundles up in coats and blankets.  Dawn gets on the PA system to explain to the guests what to do with the mini-Frisbees they're being handed.  Meri voiceovers that she loves the Frisbee idea.  Robyn comments that she was debating whether or not to take Ariella inside, but she wanted to be able to see and hear everything.  At last the processional starts, capped off by Kody and Mykelti coming down the aisle.  After giving his blessing, Kody gives Tony a big slap on the arm and goes to sit down.  He voiceovers that since Tony is taking Mykelti away, Kody wanted his two pounds of flesh.  Officiant Chris begins the ceremony, and a lady named Juanita is translating into Spanish.  Kody says they're a bilingual crowd. Robyn voiceovers that the cold doesn't seem to be bothering the Entitlement Twins, and Mykelti isn't even wearing her "caplet."  As Chris continues his Frisbee-laden message, Tony keeps making little asides.  Meri voiceovers again how she loves the whole Frisbee thing.  Robyn and Kody feel compelled to explain that you would never see this at a polygamist wedding, which is just for adults and, Janelle adds, very sacred.  Back at the ceremony, Tony takes off his jacket to give to Mykelti.  Christine takes this as a sign that this makes Tony an incredible person.  

Mykelti and Tony then read messages they wrote to each other, and again I have to admit they exceeded my expectations.  There wasn't a boob or a twerk to be heard.  We move on to the rings and the vows, then the Entitlement Twins are pronounced husband and wife and eagerly kiss.  As they recess, they are totally surprised by the mini-Frisbees.   The wives comment on how happy Mykelti looked, and how the ceremony was like witnessing a private moment between them.  Indoors at the club, Paedon shakes Tony's hand and tells him he's now part of the family.  Gabriel gives Tony a hug.  On the couch, Gwendolyn and Dayton express their happiness about the wedding.  Now it's family "pitcher" time and there's more angst about having to go back out into the cold.  "This executive decision is not a good one," says Kody.  Mykelti states that it's her decision.  Kody counters that he is not making Ariella go outside.  

After the break, Mykelti acquiesces and says that Robyn's family picture can take place inside.  Ooh, was that a cliffhanger or what!  Christine's family heads out for pictures first.  On the couch, Kody helpfully lists off every possible grouping you can have in wedding pictures.  Christine says that picture time was possibly ten degrees colder than the ceremony.  Her girls are wearing blankets and doing jumping jacks to stay warm.  The shots look cute, but Mykelti seems to realize what an uncomfortable idea it is and tells everyone to head back inside for the rest of the photos.  The photographer attempts to group up the entire Brown clan in the lobby while guests are mingling around.  Then it's time to eat tacos, which Tony calls the staple food for the world.  Kody voiceovers that Tony was right about needing more tacos for the guests.  Robyn says that Mykelti should have a pillow that says, "Tony was right," on one side, and "Tony wasn't right," on the other side, that she can flip as appropriate.  At the reception, Kody gets on the mic to welcome everyone to Tony and Mykelti's party.  Juanita is again translating.  Kody begins talking about the adventure of getting to know Tony while the buffet line awkwardly shuffles along behind him.  He says that Tony's parents, Antonio and Maria, have become a brother and sister to himself and Christine, and goes on about how both groups want their kids to be happy.  To be honest, I just noticed that Mykelti's hair seems to be red at the scalp and black at the ends, so I tuned Kody out a bit while I was trying to figure out what follicular shenanigans were going on.  Kody calls Christine up.  It's time for her to sing, and guess what?  She's nervous!       

After a few words, Christine begins to sing, and yes, it really is as bad and as embarrassing as everyone here has already said.  I’m pretty sure that Tony and Mykelti's anniversary shall forevermore be remembered in St. George as The Day The Music Died.  Christine voiceovers for what has to be the fourth time that she's wants her song to demonstrate her acceptance of Tony and Mykelti as a couple.  Mykelti voiceovers that she's always liked her mom's voice and that it meant a lot to her that Christine would sing at her wedding.  Christine says again that she was nervous and never quite got the hang of singing with the guitar.  Kiss-up Robyn insists it was awesome and sweet.  Now it's time for cake.  The Entitlement Twins attempt to cut a slice from a single-layer cake with a giant red king chess piece on top.  Tony removes the king to make a deeper cut.  The wives voiceover about Tony's plans to shove the cake into Mykelti's face.  They totally mangle the slice but each manage to get a forkful cleanly into the other's mouth.  There are several bigger cakes on display behind the two chess cakes, and Tony asks which one is Tres Leches.  He scrapes a wedge of it out with his fork.  Now it's time to go outside and dance in a heated tent, and that cake has sure fueled Tony up because he's really moving.  Whatever song they're really dancing to under TLC's cheap filler music is clearly too fast paced for their moves.  He twirls Mykelti and she has to pull her bodice back up.  Christine thinks that they danced great together.  Then Christine and Maria join Tony and Mykelti on the floor, and Christine says that Tony was such a great dancer it was difficult to follow him.  It looks to me like he's just doing "I'm A Little Teapot" arms in triple time, but what do I know.  Christine's clearly the music aficionado here.  

20 more minutes are left?!  Come on, Browns, I’m missing the Olympics for this.  And Frisbee Flinging and Cake Shoveling are not medal-worthy substitutes!  Oh gee, they've clearly heard my plea for more action because it's pinata time.  Not what I meant, Browns, I take it back!  Christine explains the bride/groom pinata situation to us for the thousandth time.  She adds that pinatas at a polygamist wedding would be really really bad, with the old wives bashing the pinata of the new bride.  Robyn and Kody perform synchronized facepalming.  Christine continues that the pinata method would be cheaper than therapy, and that she's going to get everybody their own personalized pinata for Christmas.  Then she starts cackling and I feel like we might be witnessing an actual psychotic break.  Back at the reception, Pinata Mykelti is hanging from the tent and Tony goes to town on it with his bat.  The big cheater isn't even blindfolded.  Then another man takes a turn.  Finally, Aurora takes a whack and is able to break the pinata, and little kids swarm on the candy.  Now it's Mykelti's turn and she beats the pants off of Pinata Tony but does not break him.  Garrison comes up and brandishes the bat in Tony's direction, then with two swings he breaks Pinata Tony.  The kids again descend like a plague.  The Entitlement Twins voiceover that hitting the pinatas was therapeutic.  Kody voiceovers that he now wants a pinata that looks like him, "or a jackass."  Wow, refreshing self-awareness there, Kodster.  We're treated to a dance montage, and Kody clearly graduated from the same dance school as Tony.  In what feels like a final interview, I hope, the Entitlement Twins are happy about how the day turned out, to which Tony adds, "magnaminous."  

Next week:  Mariah has a girlfriend and wants to go to a gay rights march in Washington D.C.  Meri and Janelle perform their annual rendition of, "How Do I Hate Thee?  Let Me Count The Ways," with special guest appearance by Therapist Nancy.

One word:   Awesome

[jenifaohjenny]

That felt like a 90 minute infomercial selling us how great Tony is! Stop trying to make Tony happen. He is awful. He isn’t happening. 

 

My blood was already boiling watching the previews of the Women’s March. 

[SunnyBeBe]

Thanks Toodles!  

I have a question.  Did they buy 400 blankets for the event or did they just dole them out for children and the elderly?

[Janc]

Some gems from the happy couple's wedding registry: 

 No comment needed...

 !!!!   $187!!!!

 Meri will love playing this

[Kyanight]

Just now, Janc said:

 No comment needed...

Wait - but does it go up to 700 pounds??  Some of these little scales will be USELESS!!!!   :(

[MrSmith]

17 hours ago, ghoulina said:

Not saying I disagree, but sometimes people turn out that way regardless. My parents, although divorced, were pretty great growing up. My father was very involved and supportive growing up. He always pushed me to do anything I wanted, without being overbearing. I'm still an incredibly insecure woman. I have horrible self esteem issues.  My first serious BF was a dream, but the next guy was pretty damn controlling and often verbally abusive. He did a real number on my already frail ego. Sometimes it's just the personality you are born with. Not all of Christine's kids seem to be as needy as Mykelti. In fact, the other 5 seem pretty great. 

I do think polygamy puts kids at as disadvantage. Unless they're living in one big house or making an effort to do something as a family on a daily basis, SOME kids are going to be missing out. And it does seem Christine's family missed out a lot for awhile. I think Mykelti may have already just had a naturally low self esteem and some of the issues with her mom and dad over the years might have exacerbated the issue. 

Fair enough. My wife was somewhat insecure when I met her, largely because she weighed about 350 pounds. I probably spent the first five years of our relationship patiently reassuring, complimenting, and supporting her, and that solved that problem. When she fractured her kneecap at work in 2002, I realized she needed help adjusting to not working outside the home and having a paycheck anymore. I had to help her change her "currency" from "I earn a paycheck" to "I take pride in running the house", which was largely about showing my appreciation for the fact she was keeping the house clean, doing the shopping, making meals, and etc.

I just think that parents don't have enough conversations with their children about how to choose a mate (of whichever gender to which they are oriented) and create a successful, long-lasting relationship. For example, my youngest sister-in-law has said for years that she wants to find someone who supports and cares for her like I support and care for her sister. So she knows where she wants to get to, so to speak, but I don't think she really has the map to get there from where she is. She's spent the last 10 years fucking, by turns, three of the biggest losers you'd probably ever meet that travel in her circle of friends and naturally ended up pregnant by one of the least mature of the three. I feel like I'm going to have to talk to her a little bit about it, which I've not yet done because it's always felt like I'm over-stepping.

[VedaPierce]

19 hours ago, MrSmith said:

@Gothish520 Here's my take on the Browns and their cultural appropriation (we can agree to call it something else in order to avoid triggering you; I'm open to suggestion). Madison and Caleb get, in my opinion, a pass on the use of dreamcatchers because they're not running around trying to shill shit that looks like it or is "based on" it. They're also not acting like using them in a wedding is some grand tradition that's almost the exclusive domain of the Brown family.

However, when it comes to Claddagh rings, this is not the case. When they first gave (Robyn?) a Claddagh ring, they acted like the giving of a Claddagh ring was something that was almost entirely unheard of; like it was something almost completely unique about the Brown family. Also, there's this: https://mysisterwifescloset.com/search?q=claddagh. They're shilling cheap, poorly made trinkets based on Claddagh rings and the traditions and meanings around them.

The-term-we-will-agree-not-to-use is about whether you're showing respect for the traditions you're borrowing or whether, like the Browns, you act like a Johnny-come-lately that invented it out of whole cloth.

 

Yeah, but they act like that about everything they do....like everything is unique only to them...like having a translator is the craziest, most unusual thing EVER, and must be explained to us unenlightened, primitives. GMAFB

Edited February 13, 2018 by VedaPierce

[VedaPierce]

18 hours ago, laurakaye said:

Nice that Kody punched Tony - however, Mykelti has watched her own mother be dissed by her father for most of her life, I'm guessing (given his disdain for Christine before Robyn came along, and especially after), so Kody punching Tony really doesn't give me the warm fuzzies.  What I would like to see is Paedon letting Tony know that if Tony hurts his sister, Paedon will destroy him like a groom-shaped pinata, and it will only take one swing of the bat.

I kind of didn't like that either. Even though we all want to kick FT in the balls, I don't think kody hitting him hard, in front of everybody during his wedding ceremony was cool, for some reason. I also thought, maddie's groom gets 'knighted', but mykelty's schlub gets a kick in the ass in front of everyone? It seemed like kody was trying to put FT in his place and tried to embarrass him a little, and I didn't like it. I always think, what if someone treated my son that way? Or daughter.  Not that FT doesn't need a good ass-kicking, but time and place. Not so much in front of his friends and parents. During the ceremony.  

[VedaPierce]

18 hours ago, Gothish520 said:

Ehh, we've all made mistakes. You can't always blame the parents when someone marries a jerk. My sister and a first cousin have each been divorced three times, and my parents and my Aunt and Uncle are wonderful people, loving and supportive. My cousin especially has a knack for picking losers, as she'd be the first to admit.

I've never heard of a kid breaking up with a loser because their mom doesn't like them. Sadly it doesn't work that way. I knew I was in for trouble when my at-the-time 4-year-old announced, "I'm gonna marry a pirate". I had an immediate vision of said pirate sitting at my table in 20 years. Shudder.  

[AZChristian]

Well, I finally watched it last night.  There are no words, other than "tacky" to describe the whole thing.  Had we been there, moments of specific memories would have served to engender laughter as comparison points for what NOT to do for the rest of our lives.  (Don't have effigies filled with candy at formal occasions.  Don't NOT have a backup plan for outdoor events in December. Etc., etc., etc.)

If four "mothers" and a father couldn't control this ridiculousness, it says something for the ridiculousness of the "parents" themselves.  "No, Mykelti.  Even if it's YOUR DAY, we are not asking 400 of our friends and family members to sit outside in December.  No, Mykelti, we are NOT going to allow people to whack at bride and groom pinatas at the reception."  Had that been my kid, I'd not have contributed $1 to that fiasco.  Parents are not legally obligated to be bullied by an entitled brat and her equally entitled choice in a spouse.