S22.E05: Week 5

[OnceSane]

Quote

Chelsea joins Arie for a date on a 100-foot yacht; eleven women split into two teams for a day of competitive bowling; Arie and Tia travel the Florida swamps on an air boat; three women end their journey.

[Stan39]

Anyone see the irony of ABC advertising GMA's interview with Rose McGowan representing the MeToo movement... During the Bachelor? What better way to show female empowerment than a show where 30 women degrade themselves while one random dude gets to systematically reject and humiliate them. 

[bosawks]

That Krystal impersonation just made the season for me!

And then Arie showed up, zzzzzzzz

Edited January 30, 2018 by bosawks

[FlyingEgret]

I was really hoping no one told him that Krystal wasn't there, just to see how long it took him to notice...  

[Mabinogia]

I really hate Arie for giving in to Crystal's stupid temper tantrum. She is the worst kind of woman/girlfriend. She will play games with him and constantly test him. Why would anyone want that? UGH He should have just told her to fuck off. 

I did love that he didn't notice she wasn't there. Those idiots shouldn't have said a thing.

Edited January 30, 2018 by Mabinogia

[bosawks]

I liked you Becca but shoes on the furniture is a dealbreaker.

No rose for you!

[legaleagle53]

19 minutes ago, Stan39 said:

Anyone see the irony of ABC advertising GMA's interview with Rose McGowan representing the MeToo movement... During the Bachelor? What better way to show female empowerment than a show where 30 women degrade themselves while one random dude gets to systematically reject and humiliate them. 

Have you forgotten that the Bachelorette gets to do the same thing to the 25 or so men who degrade themselves in order to pursue HER?  It's equal-opportunity degradation!

[adhoc]

Chelsea's date: I'm just mesmerized by her very, very shiny nose... As she goes on and on about what's important in life, how she has nothing but she has everything, etc., Arie's beady eyes just glaze over. She might as well be talking Klingon.

Bowling: I'd be upset if I was on the winning team and then Arie decided to let the losing team share the evening activities. I think I'd be speculating that Arie wanted to be with a girl on the losing team....  Oh, I see later that Arie allegedly was going to extend the evening to accommodate the other ladies. Whatever.

[NeverLate]

I loved how Arie just said, well Krystal , stay in your room, I'm going down to hang ..LOL. Best moment so far!

Becca looks like she could be Aries sister, same nose

[ByTor]

23 minutes ago, adhoc said:

Bowling: I'd be upset if I was on the winning team and then Arie decided to let the losing team share the evening activities.

I guess this is the new thing the producers like to do...on Nick's season both the winning and losing beach volleyball teams got to share in the evening activities.

[Jax7917]

I looked up spoilers for who wins ( not sure why I do that every season , but I can't help myself ) .. but I just don't see him being into any of these girls . I honestly give his relationship with the person who wins less time than chris soules engagement lasted .. even last week in not so many words he said one of the qualities he's looking for in a woman is someone who's ok with him doing his thing and being away a lot .. idk , he just doesn't seem like he's looking for a wife but I guess we shall see 

[NeverLate]

3 minutes ago, ByTor said:

I guess this is the new thing the producers like to do...on Nick's season both the winning and losing beach volleyball teams got to share in the evening activities.

One of the bachelorettes did that as well 

[alexa]

Arie is not a very stylish dresser.  Doesn’t the show help the lead with this?  Lol

i found his reaction to Krystal surprisingly refreshing. 

[legaleagle53]

31 minutes ago, adhoc said:

Chelsea's date: I'm just mesmerized by her very, very shiny nose... 

Is she related to Rudolph?

[NeverLate]

I like Tia, the conversation about religion was refreshing,I have always like Tia, I'm not sure she's his type, we'll see 

[bosawks]

Why do I get the feeling that every conversation for Krystal is hard not just the one she had with Arie......

[NeverLate]

What an odd question to ask Arie.. I wonder if Kendall would eat Krystal.#questionnumber99

[Suzysite]

How many times can I tell baby Bekah to shut her cake hole in one night? Girl thinks she has wisdom of the ages and she's 12. Shut it baby Bekah. Just shut it.

[NeverLate]

Just now, Suzysite said:

How many times can I tell baby Bekah to shut her cake hole in one night? Girl thinks she has wisdom of the ages and she's 12. Shut it baby Bekah. Just shut it.

I agree, she loves the sound of her voice, meanwhile Krystal throws glitter, maybe she meant shade? LOL

[JD5166]

I am coming in Late I didn’t know this season had even started, but I grew up in a bowling alley has got to be the BEST made up story EVER!

Edited January 30, 2018 by JD5166

[crgirl412]

12 hours ago, NeverLate said:

I like Tia, the conversation about religion was refreshing,I have always like Tia, I'm not sure she's his type, we'll see 

She said she grew up in the Church (in the South!) but Arie isn't really even a Higher Power type.  If like many people, as soon as she has kids she will want to raise them the way she was raised:  Church Sunday morning, possibly also Sunday night and very likely Wednesday night.  It will be in a very family-centered, probably Bible-believing faith community.  The husband/father is very involved in church life and family life and I'm not sure Arie will ever do that. 

Edited January 30, 2018 by crgirl412

[NeverLate]

5 minutes ago, JD5166 said:

I am coming in Late I didn’t know this season had even started, but I grew up in a bowling alley has got to be the BEST made up story EVER!

with bumper cards and dogs, oops wrong girl..

Arie didn't like giving Krystal that rose..
The others girls should shut up, they are giving her way too much power..

[Stan39]

Wow. ABC showed an ad for next week's show that had Krystal in it. Way to build suspense for the rose ceremony. I don't think they care anymore. 

 

Feel bad for Maquel to come back just to go home again. This whole episode was dull. 

[Jax7917]

Tias date with ari might have been the longest amount of time he waited to lean in for a kiss on the show so far 

[Adeejay]

I’ve noticed that when the Bachelor invites the losing team to the after party, that is because the lady or ladies he is most interested in were on the losing team. 

Arie said that Tia is the lady with whom he feels the most relaxed and comfortable.  Interesting. 

[dizzyd]

Wow was that boring. I mean the best part of the episode was Arie's "group date" with the golden girls.

[b2H]

1 hour ago, FlyingEgret said:

I was really hoping no one told him that Krystal wasn't there, just to see how long it took him to notice...  

I kinda hoped they would just not say anything.  I mean, if one is in competition for something and a party doesn’t show up, why would you mention it?  Take the advantage, for g-d’s sake.

i asked my husband how proud he imagined Krystal’s family and friends are of her after tonight’s episode.

@Jaclyn88,

Spoiler

don’t get too wrapped up on an obvious pick.  This whole thing is going to collapse like a house of cards.

Edited January 30, 2018 by b2H

[AllyCat]

13 minutes ago, JD5166 said:

I am coming in Late I didn’t know this season had even started, but I grew up in a bowling alley has got to be the BEST made up story EVER!

I guess you missed it if you just started watching, but I was really hoping for a traumatic bowling alley reenactment. 

[JenE4]

Lauren B is someone who exists, apparently, and is upset that she didn’t get a date. Oh, yeah, Maquel left for a funeral and is back. I will be shocked if Arie even noticed she was gone—and/or acknowledges she’s back.

Once again, the producers just so happen to point a telescope directly at the location of the date. Eyes on the water, people! This backward jet-ski makeout maneuver is a disaster waiting to happen. Water safety!

Chelsea had a sugar daddy who left her for a different sugar baby—and WITH a baby. Interesting she’s playing up the angle of NOT wanting another sugar daddy, as if the yacht really belonged to Arie. But, she’s in loooooove and is picking out their china.

Ew! Arie just LICKED a rental bowling ball!!! What in the—?!? Now he’s going to make out with everyone and it will be the Most Dramatic Communicable Disease Outbreak in Bachelor History!

The girls are OBNOXIOUS on this bowling date. I like that none of the girls caught on that the whiney cheerleader is calling them whores—shushing instead of rhyming with “fours.” But since Bekah’s team didn’t make the cut, Arie changes the stakes so Bekah—er, both teams—can attend the after party.

Ooh, Krystal is out-Krystaling herself! And he is REINFORCING this shit by running after checking on her—EXACTLY like she wanted! “You stay in your room” with an implied “and think about what you’ve done, young lady!” Boom! Backfired.

Lauren B—I think this is—is saying this process is taking it SLOW compared to her previous relationships?! No, Arie is saying this is Kendal in a voiceover while kissing this person. I don’t think I’ll ever tell these two apart. 

How does one “smell like a bowling ball”? Maybe he’ll lick you like the other bowling ball, Becca. Back to his room?!? The chances of that happening just skyrocketed!

Told to stay in her room, Krystal is putting on makeup and LEAVING her room! Yep, just like any other volatile teenager. You’re not the boss of me, Arie! Ooh, but you have 9 evil step-moms here who are going to stop you at the gate and run you back off to your room before you have the chance to see Arie! Love it!

Ok, now THIS is Lauren. Lauren doesn’t know how to play 21 questions. You don’t just ask 21 random questions. You’re supposed to think of something specific and the person gets 21 yes/no questions to try to guess what you’re thinking of. Yet, she asks about colors and eggs, but Arie asks a deep question about fears of getting her heart broken and she gets romantic music AND the rose. 

Tia gets to go mud bogging! Sort of. I’m guessing they’re going to amp up the frog gigging and wrastle a gator. Oh my god, they brought them to a swamp resident who likes to go frogging! And right on cue, Tia says she loves frogging. They eat frog legs, and now she’s telling Arie all about frog gigging! I was totally just joking because of Raven’s date, but they seriously are just stereotyping all of these girls: the frog-gigging date, the (former) gold-digger gets the yacht date. But they are really selling Tia short—a doctorate in physical therapy—not exactly the local yokel they’re trying to make her out to be. “I’m falling in love with you”!!! Too soon!! Too soon! Red alert! Arie responds with an “I really love what I’m seeing.” Sweeping love journey music!! What is happening?! Didn’t see this coming! Ok, people, keep your eye on this one—she’s the first to get the sweeping music!!

Guys, I’m betting all my money on that all 100 of Kendall’s questions are about dead bodies. Arie SERIOUSLY isn’t creeped out by her yet?? On her plus side, she’s the first to volunteer to tell Krystal why she’s Wrong Reasons.

“Glitter!” [open hands outward] is the new “Mic drop!” [open hand downward]. This is the perfect comeback if you ever find yourself being glam-shamed in particular: Glitter!

Krystal tries to be all cutesy, “Aw, our first fiiiiighttt.” And Arie shoots her down real fast: “Could be our last.” Glitter!! But I also feel like he’s encouraging her a bit by saying that if it’s going to just be the two of them in the end blah-blah-blah. All she hears is: Arie said it’s going to be just me and him in the end!!! Glitter!

[adhoc]

I wondered if Krystal wanted to leave (in that angry moment, I mean), but Production wouldn't let her.  

Did Krystal say to one of the girls that during her angry reaction to Arie's "lying" about the bowling prize, she was feeling "pain bodies"?  I heard that and thought maybe she meant she was experiencing body pains. Whatever--I just thought it was odd.

Arie questions God (not sure if he questions "Does God exist" or "If there is a God, well, what's he all about, because I have a lot of friends who died and I don't understand how God would let that happen"). Tia says she wants him to explain so she can better understand his perspective. I think she wants him to explain mainly so she can figure out how best to bring him "back in the fold," should they end up together.  They are not a good fit.

There's a Jacqueline?

Also, another of Arie's stock phrases: "<Contestant's name> is not like any other woman I've met." Sometimes paraphrased as "I've never met a woman like <contestant's name>."

Edited January 30, 2018 by adhoc

[clubsauce]

I was fast forwarding through commercials and went too far and could have sworn I saw Arie LICK a bowling ball. I thought to myself, “Ha! Imagine if that happened? That would be so funny\gross!!” So I rewound it and OH MY GOD HE LICKED A BOWLING BALL!!!

 

Also, stop with the freaking screaming, ladies! 

[EllenB]

Krystal may be attempting a Britt 2.0 impression, but she reminds me most of Big Sarah from skeevy Charlie's season, just less flabby.  Remember how even her father told Charlie she was delusional in how awesome she thought she was?

[b2H]

1 minute ago, adhoc said:

 

I wondered if Krystal wanted to leave (in that angry moment, I mean), but Production wouldn't let her.  

Did Krystal say to one of the girls that during her angry reaction to Arie's "lying" about the bowling prize, she was feeling "pain bodies"?  I heard that and thought maybe she meant she was experiencing body pains.

 

I had the closed captioning on.  Pain bodies is how it was presented there.

[JudyObscure]

I wouldn't have thought it was possible but the show made me hate almost everybody in one night.  Yes, Krystal is a manipulative weirdo, but that doesn't make the other women look good doing their prissy dogpile.  Bekah, in particular, was way too judgey for a girl all dressed up in her underwear.  Arie being humorless and slightly threatening wasn't exactly endearing either.  Just don't give her a rose Arie.

[chocolatine]

As if Arie's mouth wasn't already gross enough from kissing multiple women in a row, he also had to lick a bowling bowl.

I'm pretty sure the Krystal meltdown/confrontation was planned by the producers ahead of time, because the evening portion of the group date isn't usually filmed at the same hotel where everyone is staying. That was set up so it would be easy for Arie to go to Krystal's room, and then for Krystal to come to the party even though she said she wouldn't (and Arie asked her not to, heh).

When Chelsea told Arie how she fell for a rich older man and was left with nothing when he dumped her, I was hoping that she'd say something along the lines of "now I understand how important it is for a woman to be financially independent before committing to a serious relationship," but who was I kidding.

I'll give the show props for finally airing a conversation about religion, but they stopped short of letting Arie use words like "agnostic" or "atheist." Baby steps, I guess.

17 minutes ago, Stan39 said:

Wow. ABC showed an ad for next week's show that had Krystal in it. Way to build suspense for the rose ceremony. I don't think they care anymore. 

That was such a face-palm moment, especially since it was the commercial break that led into the Arie/Krystal confrontation.

[adhoc]

Thanks b2H. Pain bodies are the worst, aren't they? ;-)

Question 1: Does Arie get a cash bonus for each woman he manages to get to say "I love you?"  I'm asking in all seriousness, because I think he does.

Question 2: Who thinks the constant talk of Krystal is producer driven?  I do. I think a producer is in that room with the other ladies and keeps focusing the conversation on Krystal--what she did, how she acted, etc.

[backformore]

One shot on the yacht, did I see some really ugly tattoo on Arie's side?  or was that the lighting?  because it looked like a huge tattoo, covering half his ribcage. 

I was laughing when Arie told Chelsea "you did really good on the jet ski, I was impressed!"   Yeah, she straddled you while you steered the jet ski, THAT'S what you were referring to!   And then her whole story about her ex -  she has a kid with an older rich guy, then gets literally kicked to the curb, with her things in garbage bags?  Either she's an idiot for not taking her ex to court for child support, or she is getting money from him, but likes to tell the story her way.  

There are still a couple of blonde girls I can't tell apart. 

[Adeejay]

1 minute ago, adhoc said:

Does Arie get a cash bonus for each woman he manages to get to say "I love you?"  I'm asking in all seriousness, because I think he does.

The goal of the Bachelor is to get as many women as possible to fall in love with him and the goal of the Bachelorette is to get the men to propose.  Honest to goodness.  I was floored when I heard it said on that show UnReal. 

[sistersledge]

That scene with Arie and the bowling ball lick was from The Big Lebowski. I chuckled.

https://youtu.be/KdOjVsfuKPs

[clubsauce]

8 minutes ago, sistersledge said:

That scene with Arie and the bowling ball lick was from The Big Lebowski. I chuckled.

https://youtu.be/KdOjVsfuKPs

Ugh—I’m so embarrassed. I hate when I miss an in-joke!

[NeverLate]

31 minutes ago, EllenB said:

Krystal may be attempting a Britt 2.0 impression, but she reminds me most of Big Sarah from skeevy Charlie's season, just less flabby.  Remember how even her father told Charlie she was delusional in how awesome she thought she was?

She reminds me of Bob the blob! that's how much she bores me

[Wandering Snark]

I let a lot of things go as far as grammar or lack thereof but "I've been waiting ON this date." Or the even more heinous "We've been waitin' on you!" = You're dead to me. Just like god is dead to Arie...

I'm sick of the Krystal *glitter* show but should they cut that portion out of this particular season what do we have left? I liked that he told her to go in that room (young lady) and to not come out while the adults are here. I liked seeing him "being cold" because at least that one little dimension more he has in there to work with. I think BOTH were told that Krystal wasn't allowed to be off the show yet, on the same night, which might be a record of some sort.

Oh, and even though I caught the reference that was still a house ball and not a new one at that... that was... haunting.

Edited January 30, 2018 by Wandering Snark

[NeverLate]

Quote

Wow. ABC showed an ad for next week's show that had Krystal in it. Way to build suspense for the rose ceremony. I don't think they care anymore. 

Have they ever, this is the last show for me, too juvenile , too predictable. I dont care anymore

[escatefromny]

When Krystal  made her 1,000th proclamation to the group, I wish someone said “you are so brave to show Ari how insecure and desperate for attention you are”.

I also wish someone had told Ari not to reward Krystal’s bad behavior by going to her room (although his smack down was worth it!)

[TomGirl]

I still think Jacqueline is beautiful (she looks like Katie Holmes to me) but she has a BAD case of resting bitch face.

[chocolatine]

I forgot to mention, I'm really impressed with Tia for holding a non-MD doctorate in a healthcare field and not referring to herself as a physician. Bryan made a mockery of the word when he insisted on referring to himself as a "chiropractic physician" on Rachel's season, and I was worried it would become the norm on this show to attach "physician" to any health-related job title.

12 minutes ago, TomGirl said:

I still think Jacqueline is beautiful (she looks like Katie Holmes to me)

I think she's a dead ringer for Vivien Leigh, who played Scarlett O'Hara in Gone With The Wind.

Edited January 30, 2018 by chocolatine

[reggiejax]

1 hour ago, Suzysite said:

How many times can I tell baby Bekah to shut her cake hole in one night? Girl thinks she has wisdom of the ages and she's 12. Shut it baby Bekah. Just shut it.

This! A million times, THIS! 

Can't stand Bekah, or her sugar bowl haircut.

[yorklee2]

It was obvious from Arie's face that he didn't want to give Krystal that rose. He doesn't have a good poker face. Whatever he's thinking is written all over his face be it anger, contempt, boredom...lol. Bet the producers hate that he's not selling it as well as others have. 

The bowling ball lick..I asked my daughter ( because I only got a glance at it) "did he just lick that ball!!" That's just all kinds of nasty.

I agree with others that Tia's probably not for Arie. She said faith was important to her but she then said easily she could live with someone where it wasn't for them. I think she would regret that later. I did think she looked very pretty on her date though. I noticed her hair looked fuller and had more body than usual. It was pretty framing her face.

[sistersledge]

Nope, still not seeing it with Jaqueline. I’m not really a fan of Bekah, but am glad she pointed out the irony of Krystal changing her mind and coming to the party.

[yorklee2]

36 minutes ago, chocolatine said:

I forgot to mention, I'm really impressed with Tia for holding a non-MD doctorate in a healthcare field and not referring to herself as a physician. Bryan made a mockery of the word when he insisted on referring to himself as a "chiropractic physician" on Rachel's season, and I was worried it would become the norm on this show to attach "physician" to any health-related job title.

I think she's a dead ringer for Vivien Leigh, who played Scarlett O'Hara in Gone With The Wind.

 

I agree. It's almost uncanny how much she looks like her.

Give it time. Someone still could in the future. With this show I wouldn't be surprised. I was impressed with Tia's accomplishments as well. I know it's been said before but why do these women feel they need to come on this show?!?!

Edited January 30, 2018 by yorklee2