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S09.E02: Groomzilla


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6 minutes ago, Madding crowd said:

I don't get why Meri is called the most selfish person on earth for wanting something for herself. Why is Robyn not selfish for her jewelry? Janelle with her Strive? Christine expecting everyone to drop everything for her daughter's wedding?

I think the other wives are implying she is being selfish because HER project takes her away from the family compound, er, cuddle-sac. Also, Meri's project requires that the other wives pitch in a lot of money for the down payment, taxes, etc. The joory store doesn't have much invested in it, Strive is just an only blog and traveling to a wedding is just another vacay day for these folks.

Really, though, the other wives' griping is just for show. Meri already has a business with LuLaRoe and she travels a lot doing pop up shows. She could easily take any money she makes from that business and use it towards the B&B. In fact, if she was smart, she'd cash out ot LLR now, while the getting is good and reinvest it all.

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7 minutes ago, Galloway Cave said:

I think the other wives are implying she is being selfish because HER project takes her away from the family compound, er, cuddle-sac. Also, Meri's project requires that the other wives pitch in a lot of money for the down payment, taxes, etc. The joory store doesn't have much invested in it, Strive is just an only blog and traveling to a wedding is just another vacay day for these folks.

Really, though, the other wives' griping is just for show. Meri already has a business with LuLaRoe and she travels a lot doing pop up shows. She could easily take any money she makes from that business and use it towards the B&B. In fact, if she was smart, she'd cash out ot LLR now, while the getting is good and reinvest it all.

I understand why everyone is telling Meri to cut and run, but it's not that simple, if you think about it. If she tries to take her money out of the family coffers, she is basically cutting her ties to the family completely. They have an agreement and a commitment to each other, and to the family as a whole. Whether we agree with it or not, that's the way it is. Meri would have to think long and hard about what taking her money and leaving the family would mean. In fact, I'm sure she has thought about it, a lot. And the benefits of staying outweigh the risks, at least for now.

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I think the jewelry store and Janelle's business have money invested in it- remember the big scene with the Brown's meeting with investors. Of course we have no real idea about their finances- how do so many people live when no one has a full time job?

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17 hours ago, RedheadZombie said:

I somewhat admired Robyn's ambition.  She couldn't be present at the cake tasting, so she arranged for her son and cousin/niece(?) to be present.  Why did Dayton need to be there?  Was Aspyn even present?

Because they have to prove it to us that they are one big happy family.

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18 minutes ago, Gothish520 said:

I understand why everyone is telling Meri to cut and run, but it's not that simple, if you think about it. If she tries to take her money out of the family coffers, she is basically cutting her ties to the family completely. They have an agreement and a commitment to each other, and to the family as a whole. Whether we agree with it or not, that's the way it is. Meri would have to think long and hard about what taking her money and leaving the family would mean. In fact, I'm sure she has thought about it, a lot. And the benefits of staying outweigh the risks, at least for now.

Meri would have cut and run without a backward glance if 'Sam' had turned out to be real.  

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15 hours ago, poeticlicensed said:

The cake buffet. I like the idea, but unless you station a server next to the table to cut and serve the cake, can you imagine how gross the table is going to look after 50 people have hacked off peices, must less 400? Dessert buffets get really messy, really fast. 

There would need to be a lot of smaller cakes to feed 400!  I don't know why they weren't doing cupcakes.  The woman made cupcakes so it seems like it would make sense.  Oh yeah, this is the Brown's and Fatter Tony.

15 hours ago, Brutus Buckeye said:

Lets run through his options. He could convert an LDS girl (yeah right). That's not happening, so let's move on to the plyg girls. 

Short Creek is nearby, and home to a few polygamous groups (FLDS/C-Park/etc). But they tend to be rather insular. Fat Tony is neither attractive enough nor charming enough to pull a polygamous gal away from one of those groups.

Now he could always convert to Kody's Church (AUB). The problem with that is that their southern Utah chapter is based out of Cedar City (where Robyn came from) instead of St George. Cedar is about 50 miles north of St George. Up near Meri's Bed and Breakfast. Fat Tony is lazy. He's not courting a girl that lives that far away. 

His best bet would be one of Mykelti's sisters. So let's run through them. 

The adult sisters (Mariah, Madison and Aspyn) are all in serious relationships. And even if they weren't, they are all out of his league.  And Mariah is a lesbian. So they are all out of the question.

So let's move onto the teenage sisters, who will soon be old enough to consider. Gwendolyn, Ysabel and Aurora are all going to be way, way out of his league. Breanna probably will be too, although it is far too early to tell at this point. So that leaves poor Savannah. At this point it appears as though she will grow up to look more like Janelle than Madison. So she would be the most likely candidate imo, if Fat Tony is ever going to become a plyg. The problem there is that she has (at least) three older full brothers that could all kick his butt. 

So as much as he might want it to happen, I don't see it happening. 

Aurora does seem to have super low self esteem and desperate for attention...

14 hours ago, AZChristian said:

Fixed it for ya.

High five!  

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I kinda wish that FT and Mykelti had done a crossover show and shopped at Bridals by Lori in the Atlanta area ("Say Yes to the Dress Atlanta").  Lori does NOT allow grooms to make the final choice.  He may be allowed to stay until the final two or three are chosen, but then she kicks him out.

THAT would have been an epic scene.

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https://lizziesheritageinn.com

At least you are allowed to bring your own alcohol to the B&B (see under Policies). There is nothing else to do in that town. Plus I would need to be drunk to sleep in a ghost room.

 

Aspyn is beautiful. Janelle is beautiful, she just needs to work on her figure (IMO).

 

FT is just, horrible. He must have some sort of Jedi Mind Control on Mykelti. Or is she legally deaf and blind?

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5 hours ago, Juliegirlj said:

Maybe they are setting the stage for Meri to exit . With Meri running and living at the B&B they could make it look like an extended separation and move Madison and Baseball cap and their baby into Meri’s house. 

Maybe that's why the previews included a scene of Kody saying to Janelle "Maddie & Caleb need their own bathroom, but I'm not going to bother you with that".....you are very perceptive!! I hadn't thought about all of that, but it could very well be. Interesting.

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5 minutes ago, Emma C said:

https://lizziesheritageinn.com

At least you are allowed to bring your own alcohol to the B&B (see under Policies). There is nothing else to do in that town. Plus I would need to be drunk to sleep in a ghost room.

 

Aspyn is beautiful. Janelle is beautiful, she just needs to work on her figure (IMO).

 

FT is just, horrible. He must have some sort of Jedi Mind Control on Mykelti. Or is she legally deaf and blind?

In regards to Mykelti - she is neither deaf NOR blind.  Just sub-par intelligence, judging by her illiteracy.

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3 hours ago, Natalie68 said:

To me, this would have been a very explosive fight.  She spent money on hair and makeup, a nice dress and no fucking way should she have greasy frosting schmeared all over it UNLESS she agreed.  A good husband respects his intended/wife.  If I said no and he did it anyway, I would have walked out and FT would be spending his wedding night with his hand.  Yes, I AM a little feisty!

That post is pure gold!   :D

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4 hours ago, Natalie68 said:

I kinda love this statement!

Yes indeed.  I am more interested in the ghost at the B&B than them running it.

He almost makes one recoil in horror.  It isn't just about his looks, however, I will say for someone so, um, unkempt, he is AWFULLY opinionated, his personality is repellent!  Way too controlling and Mykelti is too stupid to realize it. 

I agree.  He's already setting Mykelti's expectations VERY low.

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1 hour ago, toodles said:

I have a friend who has REALLY bad taste in men.  Consequently, she has faced some dangerous and life threatening situations.  She was in a relationship at one point that she need to desperately leave.  I and some of her other friends were trying to get her to see how bad the situation was.  I read an article about abusers and gave it to her.  It was titled a Big Bouquet of Red Flags.  She remembered the phrase, but not the idea.  End of story.

IMHO, FT came with a big bouquet of red flags to this relationship.  The controlling behavior is the biggest flower in the bouquet.  His disrespect, mean and completely judgmental remarks are smaller flowers in the bouquet.  

Maybe they are happy, who knows.  But I think he is a scary guy and he sets off my danger meter big time.

And what does it say about Mykelti's self esteem that she thinks this is the guy for her. Sad.

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2 hours ago, Onceafan said:

Thanks Tony for representing "our" culture so well on national tv. According to our spokesperson we:

Bring booze to dry weddings, and sit out in the parking lot and drink.

When we get an invitation we bring along all of our children, and extended family, and neighbors, and just anyone and everyone that we seem fit.

We just love stuffing our faces with free tacos and need at least ten of them

Can I be anymore offended by how he portrays us as guests?

I would say he's "tacky" but that's white people's language. I guess I should say estrafalario, or cursi, or de vicios, or desalinado, you know all the words that mean Tacky in Spanish!!!!

All I can say is Tony admitted he is the type of guy who would tell his bride that she's ugly on her wedding day. I'll just leave his character at that.

Don't forget about the pinatas!

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3 hours ago, Onceafan said:

Thanks Tony for representing "our" culture so well on national tv. According to our spokesperson we:

Bring booze to dry weddings, and sit out in the parking lot and drink.

When we get an invitation we bring along all of our children, and extended family, and neighbors, and just anyone and everyone that we seem fit.

We just love stuffing our faces with free tacos and need at least ten of them

Can I be anymore offended by how he portrays us as guests?

I would say he's "tacky" but that's white people's language. I guess I should say estrafalario, or cursi, or de vicios, or desalinado, you know all the words that mean Tacky in Spanish!!!!

All I can say is Tony admitted he is the type of guy who would tell his bride that she's ugly on her wedding day. I'll just leave his character at that.

This especially I found ridiculous. I can understand if that's the way your family is when they are invited to a family picnic or other informal occasion, but a wedding is a whole other story. A wedding invitation should spell out exactly who's invited, and your best friend's second cousin who's in town for the weekend is most likely NOT on the guest list. Showing up at a wedding with people who were not invited is rude AF.

And your last line pretty much says it all. 

Edited by Gothish520
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Mykelti's sounding more and more like Christina these days.  Bossy and in charge.  Ft is her backup singer!  He is attention seeking and it's fun to watch him and that other fame whore Kody , father of the bride, battle it out for tv time!

 

She's right she is marrying her father!

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Some of these comments may have been posted already, but I had to list my hall of shame for the episode.  In no particular order:

  • Kodouche's egotism has no bounds.  He had to make Maddie and Caleb's baby news (first grandchild!) all about him by saying how he now wants to have another child.  Ewww.
  • I wonder if the idiot wives have even paid any attention to the lyrics of "I Will Survive".  The only legit reason for them to choose that particular song for Mykelti's bridal shower, is to convey a subtle/not-subtle message to her about how they'll be there to support her when she decides tell FT to "go, walk out the door, don't turn around now, 'cause you're not welcome anymore".  If that's not their goal, then get a clue.
  • Although it was a tiny snippet of a scene, and easy to overlook, the scene at the taco tasting table with FT shoving Mykelti out of the way so he can take the seat that she wanted, was really disturbing.  Multiply that by 1,000 and that's what Mykelti can look forward to in her daily life with FT.
  • It was also quite odd when FT took off his wedding ring, because first of all I'm surprised that no one had noticed he was wearing one already, but also he just kind of threw it onto the table and asked if anyone wanted to see it.  His stated reason for already wearing one -- to show that he  that he is "taken" -- was not, I suspect, for Mykelti's benefit but for his ego's.
  • I join those who are feeling dirty that we side with Kodouche about the business concerns with the purchase of this stupid inn/B&B, which Meri by her own admission said she isn't interested in for the business, but because she wants the home back in the family.  

Which brings me to the sentiment that best encapsulates everything that is wrong with the whole entire Brown Clown clan.  Meri said something like, "If the wives could see how much this means to me, they wouldn't poop all over the idea with logic."  That's their mantra -- "I want it, so I deserve to have it"...and logic/consequences be damned.  (see Exhibit 1, Mykelti's wedding behavior) (see Exhibits 2-infinity with bankruptcies, liens, vanity store project, Robin's honeymoon to Hawaii, etc.)   

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On January 15, 2018 at 7:09 PM, ginger90 said:

Meri’s opinion on Tony

 

Meri Brown @MeriBrown1 3h

Replying to @Jaxie012 @mariahlian and @ohheyitsaudrey

Haha I was kinda there when they were filmed! I don't need to see random people's comments to know what kind of person Tony is. Remember, you have only seen the episodes. You don't know the man.

Ew. She's so unlikeable. She has no idea about how to respond to fan criticism, whether it's fair or not. She's always so defensive. By now she should have learned how to sound pleasant regardless of the comments coming her way about her janky fambly. She doesn't understand why people may have a certain opinion about FT? She doesn't see how he came across? Take it down a notch, Meri, no need to scold and remind everyone how many episodes they've seen. And we 'know the man' enough, thanks. and BLECHHHH!

Edited by VedaPierce
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37 minutes ago, poeticlicensed said:

I need to see pictures of the wedding!

The groom in his blue jeans with a big black spot on one leg and tennis shoes.... the bride wearing HIS jean jacket over her wedding dress because they insisted on having an OUTDOOR wedding in December in Utah.....    

Screen-Shot-2016-12-17-at-10.36.16-PM.pn

Oops - guess it wasn't a jean jacket, lol

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On 1/15/2018 at 7:45 PM, LilWharveyGal said:

Hi guys, I apologize again for the interruption, but my DVR says I'm only 1/3 of the way through the episode so I guess it was good to break up a giant wall o' text.  I'll try to keep this even more succinct.

 

BRAVA!!!  It looks like you have taken your new job as "Fam'ly Recapper" very seriously and I appreciate it so much.  In fact, I'd like to take you out to dinner to say thank you.  Since I am of German background, dinner will consist of 400 pounds of sauerkraut and a German chocolate cake.  I don't care if it sounds like a disgusting combination, that's what we're having and oh, I also get the good chair.  You're welcome!

And now, a couple of questions/observations:

Janelle thinking that Meri "sparkles" combined with her musings that Janelle herself would buy the house for the family suggests to me that Janelle is over the moon with Meri's B&B plan, because it means that Mean Meri will be four hours away from the cuddle-sac on a frequent basis.  No more awkward meetings as both women waddle outside to fetch the mail, no more strained encounters at the wet bar, etc.  I can totally see why Janelle is on board.

The fact that Meri refuses to go into another wife's house and take care of another wife's kids is just about the funniest thing ever, when polygamy is supposed to be about doing EXACTLY THAT.  I wonder how the kids feel hearing her say that?  They are supposed to consider her one of their moms, but she clearly no longer sees herself that way.  What a joke.  How much longer to we have to listen to her say that she believes in living this lifestyle?  Can't she amend it to, "I believe in living this lifestyle as long as everyone is on board with everything that I want, I don't have to baby-sit my celestial children, and also don't touch my wet bar?"

"I Will Survive?"  Really?!?  I am sometimes gobsmacked at how utterly un-self-aware these people are.  And what's with the disco outfits, are they all going to take off their party clothes and change into costume?  I mean, I may actually have to fork over the cash to get my cable back in order to see this.

Kody is a gross narcissistic man-child and I honestly did not think there was another human being on the planet that could top him for being an egomanicial jerkwad with horrible hair and sweaty clothes.  Congrats, Fat Tony!!

(off to see if I can upgrade my cable)

Edited by laurakaye
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If they buy the B&B, not only will Meri have a huge house in the cuddle sac, the B&B house and a tiny house in the back yard that she wants to remodel and live in. That's 3 houses for Meri. Where is Annie, the person running the B&B, supposed to live? Meri only talked about her own living situation. 

Edited by poeticlicensed
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Well. It's pretty obvious that the one thing that lights a fire under Janelle is cake.  When they were sitting down to the table filled with cake samples while planning Maddie's wedding Janelle was almost over the top with excitement at "oh guys!!  We get to eat all of this" or something like that. 

Going back to that horrid "commitment ceremony" (because they couldn't come up with anything better in the storyline for the show) and Janelle was very excited to be ordering the cake as her way of being "involved".

And now she has nothing to say about FT's snarky and downright disrespectful manners until it comes down to the cake for Mykelti.  All of a sudden she has a fire lit under her about how Mykelti gets steam rolled over every other decision so at least she should get to decide what kind of cake to have.  When in the end it seems like they are doing is a whole lot of different flavors anyway.  I suspect that they went with this cake shop (who doesn't do large tiered wedding cakes) because for the exposure this shop is willing to comp or partially comp the price of 400 servings of a cake buffet, so they are stuck with small cakes.  AND....it sounds to me like a "cake buffet" means that they need more than 400 servings because people are going to want more than one flavor sample.  Maybe not because they said their taco bar meal also came with two selections of desserts.  Not sure why you are serving dessert AND a cake buffet.  None of it is in any way conventional by any means.

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Quote

It looks like you have taken your new job as "Fam'ly Recapper" very seriously and I appreciate it so much.  In fact, I'd like to take you out to dinner to say thank you.  Since I am of German background, dinner will consist of 400 pounds of sauerkraut and a Geman chocolate cake.  I don't care if it sounds like a disgusting combination, that's what we're having and oh, I also get the good chair.  You're welcome!

I just snorted ginger ale out of my nose....

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Who really wants to be married to someone who would tell you your wedding dress looks like shit on your wedding day if you don't let him pick the dress out himself? I used to think Tony and Kody were the same person, but Tony is worse, because Tony is insensitive, tacky, AND way dumber than Kody (which is really saying something). I kept cringing during the wedding dress hunt. You could tell the moms are trying to make the best of it, but it was bad. If Mykelti ever grows up, this marriage doesn't have a prayer.

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52 minutes ago, Kellyee said:

Who really wants to be married to someone who would tell you your wedding dress looks like shit on your wedding day if you don't let him pick the dress out himself?

Exactly. I mean, why would you feel the need to say anything? On her big day? Kody is one of those people who prides himself on being "honest". But he's really just an asshole. 

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58 minutes ago, Kellyee said:

Who really wants to be married to someone who would tell you your wedding dress looks like shit on your wedding day if you don't let him pick the dress out himself?

I just wished someone at the bridal shop had posed this question to Mykelti. Then not let her make excuses for FT.

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5 hours ago, laurakaye said:

BRAVA!!!  It looks like you have taken your new job as "Fam'ly Recapper" very seriously and I appreciate it so much.  In fact, I'd like to take you out to dinner to say thank you.  Since I am of German background, dinner will consist of 400 pounds of sauerkraut and a German chocolate cake.  I don't care if it sounds like a disgusting combination, that's what we're having and oh, I also get the good chair.  You're welcome!

Aww, thank you @laurakaye!  I have a bit of German blood myself so this menu is a-ok, but if you smash even a morsel of the cake in my face I'm going to have to destroy a pinata of you dressed in lederhosen.  

Seriously, though, about the recaps - I only started to help out those who couldn't see the first episode when it was solely available On Demand, and then kept going just to fill the void until Cynical Jinx's recaps started up.  (She used to provide them on her site, didn't she?  Was I hallucinating?!)   I wasn't envisioning a season-long gig, though I am happy to do it.  But if it bugs anyone or if someone else wants to take a turn, let me know.

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1 minute ago, LilWharveyGal said:

But if it bugs anyone or if someone else wants to take a turn, let me know.

Lawdy, no, don't stop.   Your recaps are hilarious!  You make a total load of BS into a comic novel.!

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2 hours ago, Roslyn said:

Not sure why you are serving dessert AND a cake buffet.  None of it is in any way conventional by any means.

Weddings do not have to be conventional though. A lot of wedding venues offer dessert tables. We skipped it because we were having plenty of food, and often by the time the dessert and cake comes out, people are full and concentrating on socializing and dancing. 

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4 hours ago, Absolom said:

Ratings:  1.506 M viewers and a .41 rating.

Still good for TLC.

FT has breathed life anew into this tired series. He is the absolute worst, which makes him awesome for TV.  I wish we had cameras during the salary negotiations. Mykelti is an adult now and nearly half the series is FT now. They/he will want to be paid generously. 

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Chiming in late, but one thing I haven't seen addressed - Kody obviously knew about the pregnancy.  When they walk into the house (after the talking heads saying "Boy, Maddie and Baseball Cap just came to visit us out of the blue - don't know why... hmmm..") Kody is staring at Madison's belly before embracing her, then as she steps away so he can say hi to Baseball Cap, he stares at her belly again.

Now, maybe this "greeting" was filmed/re-performed for the cameras after the pacifier reveal, or maybe he just had his suspicions, because the visit WAS out of the blue and they wouldn't say why, and any parent might wonder.  But whatever the case, it was completely obvious that he is inspecting her for signs she's showing.  I think they knew ahead of time and prepared (or re-enacted) the (original reveal) scene accordingly.

Edited by kassa
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1 minute ago, kassa said:

Chiming in late, but one thing I haven't seen addressed - Kody obviously knew about the pregnancy.  When they walk into the house (after the talking heads saying "Boy, Maddie and Baseball Cap just came to visit us out of the blue - don't know why... hmmm..") Kody is staring at Madison's belly before embracing her, then as she steps away so he can say hi to Baseball Cap, he stars at her belly again.

Now, maybe this "greeting" was filmed/re-performed for the cameras after the pacifier reveal, or maybe he just had his suspicions, because the visit WAS out of the blue and they wouldn't say why, and any parent might wonder.  But whatever the case, it was completely obvious that he is inspecting her for signs she's showing.  I think they knew ahead of time and prepared (or re-enacted) the (original reveal) scene accordingly.

I HONESTLY don't believe ANYTHING is a surprise on this show.  They just re-discuss whatever it is.

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29 minutes ago, Kyanight said:

They just re-discuss whatever it is.

Over and over and over ad nauseum - in upcoming events commercials, in talking heads, before and after each commercial break during the show, in recaps, on social media, blah, blah, blah.  It's absurd.  

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33 minutes ago, Kyanight said:

I HONESTLY don't believe ANYTHING is a surprise on this show.  They just re-discuss whatever it is.

Oh yeah, I don't believe anything is shown in real time. He and Janelle did an ok job of pretending though, lol.

Edited by Gothish520
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1 hour ago, Gothish520 said:

Weddings do not have to be conventional though. A lot of wedding venues offer dessert tables. We skipped it because we were having plenty of food, and often by the time the dessert and cake comes out, people are full and concentrating on socializing and dancing. 

I appreciate non-conventional. In your case, makes total sense. A lot of "traditional" things no longer work for some people. 

In Tokelti's case, they're just randomly being unconventional for the sake of it. Just to show how "unique" they are. None of these choices make sense, or even go together. It's a hodge podge of ridiculousness. 

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1 hour ago, CofCinci said:

FT has breathed life anew into this tired series. He is the absolute worst, which makes him awesome for TV.  I wish we had cameras during the salary negotiations. Mykelti is an adult now and nearly half the series is FT now. They/he will want to be paid generously. 

I had a vision flash through my head.  *IF* FT is bold enough, and I kind of think he is,  it would be super awesome if he told Kody that since Meri isn't at her house much he should let he and M move in to it.  

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