S10.E03: Well, Hello, Monroe

[crgirl412]

Monroe is here!!!  Will Vanina quit???

[JAndy]

Do they not realize that babies are not always born on their due dates? They are freaking out unnecessarily. 

 

My OB was planning on talking induction with me when I was 40 weeks, but I did end up going on my due date. 

[Princess Kelbop]

Haha. "This baby is LATE. We're never late and our baby is LATE. LATE!"

I...wonder what the surrogate thought about those mean things Jeff said about her...beav. Kinda rude. Wonder if he regrets it now. 

[Bronzedog]

When Jeff was talking about checking on/completing projects and the woman with the pool wanted something done, Jeff, again, said something about having a baby in a week.  Jeff, in the real world or when you work for other people, they don't really care that much about your personal issues.  They just want you to do what they're paying you to do.  Your world changed when the baby was born.  Theirs did not.

[Pickles]

The baby looks adorable. So sweet sucking her little thumb. They all looked like they were losing their minds spending all of those days waiting in Chico. Lol. I guess Vanina is gone!

[For Cereals]

Yes, a plan or timeline for when the baby comes-only Jeff...If all is well, babies come when they come.

[rideashire]

I usually find Jeff funny, I like his sense of humor but dude....this woman just pushed out a bowling ball for you, don't pick on her for not waxing or comment on the size of her vag. I cringed. Poor girl, bet she wasn't thrilled to watch this ep and hear him say that.

[rhys]

The look on Gage's face was priceless! I thought he was gonna gag then faint.

[filmgal]

I am a 3 time surro. I was really enjoying seeing a journey from the parents perspective until Jeff made his comments. That was (literally) below the belt and completely unnecessary.

I usually really like Jeff and can take his comments with a grain of salt. I hope they have a joking relationship that we never saw - maybe he made that joke to her and they laughed about it. I don't know. I do know that they had a chance here to show surrogacy in a positive light and that picture wasn't complete for me.

For all the people in that room the only person shown to acknowledge all that Alex had just gone through was Gage. Like I said, I really hope others did so but man, they couldn't have shown Jenni or the stepmom give her a hug? Talking to her? 

I guess I shouldn't be surprised, it's reality TV. Silly of me to think they'd get it right and show how meaningful that relationship between the parents/family and the surrogate can be.

Side note: my first surrogate baby was a week late. I felt so bad for her parents having to wait - they had come a week before her due date to be sure not to miss the birth and ended up waiting a full two weeks. It's definitely the first lesson for new parents -- you have no control. 

Edited September 1, 2017 by filmgal
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[DrivingSideways]

I can't believe the shit Jeff said about the birth mom.  Talk about ungrateful.  Not funny and totally horrible.  Hope he doesn't talk about his daughter that way

Jeff should NOT be raising a child.  The sick mind games he will play with that poor kid!

[MsTree]

RE: What Jeff said...I'm not offended.  For the amount of money HE'S paying Alex (and if it were me), he could make vagina jokes all day long and it wouldn't faze me in the least.  I think after almost a year and 37 thousand texts & phone calls, Alex KNOWS Jeff's sense of humor and probably took it with a grain of salt.

[biakbiak]

1 hour ago, MsTree said:

RE: What Jeff said...I'm not offended.  For the amount of money HE'S paying Alex (and if it were me), he could make vagina jokes all day long and it wouldn't faze me in the least.  I think after almost a year and 37 thousand texts & phone calls, Alex KNOWS Jeff's sense of humor and probably took it with a grain of salt.

Why be shitty about the person who nurtured your child for nine months? It's also been stated that Gage did 90% of the interactions with her. Also, most of the cost of surrogacy doesn't go to the surrogate so 60-70k doesn't allow you to talk shit about her. Hell 1 million dollars doesn't make it right.

 

5 hours ago, Bronzedog said:

When Jeff was talking about checking on/completing projects and the woman with the pool wanted something done, Jeff, again, said something about having a baby in a week.  Jeff, in the real world or when you work for other people, they don't really care that much about your personal issues.  They just want you to do what they're paying you to do.  Your world changed when the baby was born.  Theirs did not.

Jeff said that in a talking heads not to the client so I didn't think it was as weird or an issue. 

Jeff also seemed to have a good grasp that the baby wasn't going to come out at the exact due date and knew he could be there for a weekend plus. 

[escapetoreality]

I'm sorry the delivery room comment was way over the line. I have a hard time with the subtle cruelty of many of Jeff's jabs and pranks -- it's like he is a psychological tickler -- but to make such a crude and vulgar comment about a woman who literally gave him the precious gift of life is such a slap. I was bothered by the whole episode -- Gage's micromanagement -- is that really what a surrogate signs up for?  I thought Jeff was kidding at first about the inducement: the fact that he showed such indifference to the biorhythms and feelings of the birth mother really got to me.  They treated her like chattel. I really am interested in more of how the surrogate on this board took it; but I would have had grave reservations about this pair as parents based on their utter self absorption and lack of empathy for Alexandra.  I supported their mission till this effort but now I feel sorry for the little girl.  Maybe she won't fly out of the car seat but will she receive emotional nurture?  This episode was more disturbing than entertaining .  

[bichonblitz]

Gage was annoying me more than Jeff. We are having this baby! We will not leave without this baby! Where is the baby! Settle down, Gage. 

[ghoulina]

10 hours ago, JAndy said:

Do they not realize that babies are not always born on their due dates? They are freaking out unnecessarily. 

That drove me NUTS. Granted, I'm kind of old school and relaxed about childbirth. I had all my kids with midwives. But damn. A due date is not an exact science. Full term is considered anywhere from 38-42 weeks. They were acting like the minute the baby passes its due date, it starts to "expire" or something. I felt bad for Alexandra, because I felt they were really pressuring her. I've known many women who've had their babies 1, or even 2, weeks late and they were just fine. Unless the baby is in distress, or mother has a health issue, there is no reason to induce. They were being way too impatient. 

 

I did like that they were both prepared to do skin-to-skin contact right away. That made me happy. 

[Cherrio]

Jeff's humor has always been "wrong" but hilarious at the same time.

It might be "wrong", but I was laughing my ass off last night when he made the waxing comment.

Its his delivery that seals it for me, the smile and knowing that he knows he shouldn't be saying it, but always does.

[Maire]

I love this show but this episode was a little too "Handmaid's Tale" for me.

[AttackTurtle]

If the surrogate has watched the show, I would imagine that she was not exactly shocked by Jeff's comment.  It was inappropriate, but so is about 90% of everything else he says.  He did look genuinely moved when Monroe arrived.   

 

Jeff was actually pretty mature about Vanina leaving and that was a pleasant change for this show.  I was really worried that it was going to get ugly.

 

i recently checked out Ryan Brow's husband's instagram and whoa I can't believe how big Chloe has gotten.   The pics of their travels and food were really beautiful.  I'm hoping that Gage and Jeff will enjoy fatherhood as much as those two do.

[eurekagirl mOo]

LOL I was sooooooo late! Supposed to be born on the 5th, born on the 25th! To a 41 year old Mom and that was 59 years ago!  My Dad came home for the birth (in 1958!) and I was so late he built a beautiful coffee table that my parents had all their lives. I have it my home now and I'm so proud of that table and my late story that brought it into being. 

Have fun guys!!!!

[SunnyBeBe]

I'm a Jeff fan, but, he can annoy me at times. Sometimes, I wonder what is really wrong with him.  His comments about the surrogate didn't really shock or offend me, though.  He's done much worse. 

Very touching moments after the birth.  I hope Jeff and Gage can parent together.  I know what they say and what we are supposed to believe, but, I don't see them as a real couple.  They just don't seem happy together to me and haven't been in awhile.  Time will tell.  I suppose they have to be united for the baby right now. I don't get good vibes from them as a couple. 

I was rather perplexed by Vanina.  Yes, I get that Jeff is super challenging to work with, but, she seems odd too. (Glad he's getting therapy.)  She doesn't seem capable of expressing herself at all.  And I don't get much professionalism from her either.  She says she wants to go on her own?  So odd.  I wonder if she's thought this through.  Her behavior was more like a teen than a professional woman.  When Jeff says that she is invaluable to his company.....boggles the mind. 

[Juliegirlj]

Considering they now have a daughter, Jeff needs to check himself on the woman hate. His crude comments were ugly and reflect poorly on him. 

The image of Gage and Jeff in hospital gowns practicing kangaroo care skin to skin contact reminds me of my young nephew pretending to breastfeed his new baby brother! I understand all the benefits and have no hang ups regarding men adopting, but, it just struck me as funny..

[heatherchandler]

3 hours ago, escapetoreality said:

I'm sorry the delivery room comment was way over the line. I have a hard time with the subtle cruelty of many of Jeff's jabs and pranks -- it's like he is a psychological tickler -- but to make such a crude and vulgar comment about a woman who literally gave him the precious gift of life is such a slap. I was bothered by the whole episode -- Gage's micromanagement -- is that really what a surrogate signs up for?  I thought Jeff was kidding at first about the inducement: the fact that he showed such indifference to the biorhythms and feelings of the birth mother really got to me.  They treated her like chattel. I really am interested in more of how the surrogate on this board took it; but I would have had grave reservations about this pair as parents based on their utter self absorption and lack of empathy for Alexandra.  I supported their mission till this effort but now I feel sorry for the little girl.  Maybe she won't fly out of the car seat but will she receive emotional nurture?  This episode was more disturbing than entertaining .  

He definitely crosses the line a LOT!  I appreciate his humor since I have an inappropriate sense of humor myself.

I will say that some men (especially men who don't yet have kids) do not "get" pregnancy and babies.  My husband was upset to hear that our first baby's due date was when he was going to be out of town on a golf outing.  He wanted me to try to reschedule.  He was like, my friend said you can induce or have a c-section.  I mean, he was kidding, but also kind of an idiot about it.  Now he knows that babies and kids change EVERYTHING and that schedules sometimes go out the window.  But he had to learn this.

I am sure Jeff gets it now, after having a baby for a few months.  It is a learning experience, though.

[Princess Kelbop]

To me, this episode affirmed Gage's fundamental decency as a person. He called himself a monster (I think) for checking in with the surrogate multiple times a day, he acknowledged that she had every right to push back against inducing, his irritation or frustration about the pregnancy lasting past the due date seemed more rooted in just wanting to meet his daughter than his own inconvenience, he thanked the surrogate immediately afterwards, and he said nice things about Jeff and what having a baby together meant about their relationship. I know he can come off as a bit aloof, but I think he's just kind of quiet and reserved and not super-comfortable with reality show "fame". 

[Willowsmom]

I get Jeff and Gage needing to be at the birth. And why Jeff's dad and stepmom went to wait it out. But why on earth was Jenni, with a small child at home and pregnant (something she's had  trouble sustaining) there? she needs to be near her doctors just in case and why leave your own child to go sit for days waiting?

Edited September 1, 2017 by Willowsmom

[biakbiak]

6 hours ago, bichonblitz said:

Gage was annoying me more than Jeff. We are having this baby! We will not leave without this baby! Where is the baby! Settle down, Gage. 

It's his daughter, it's a pretty big deal

[atlantaloves]

Finally finally finally....I know Jeff is an idiot, but I love him anyway, and you all are right, Gage is a saint. God, I wish them well, and it is time time time for that stupid maid Zola to retire, enough already. I loved this episode, although the show is basically like watching designer paint dry, I watch it because I just adore that Jeff Lewis, and I have no idea why. I guess I like him because I understand him. But then, I have mental health issues.  Snort.

[Bronzedog]

How is it possible that Zoila's English gets worse each year?

[peacockblue]

I've got it out for Jenny this season. The treatment and her feigned sympathy towards Vanina really got on my nerves. 

[Madding crowd]

I was annoyed at Jenny when she said Alexandra and her doctor not wanting to induce was "Just a difference of opinion". Why should she induce just to deal with Jeff's impatience? Baby is very cute, hope the night nurse is good d to her.

[7-Zark-7]

I was pissed at Jeff a couple of episodes ago when he said that he didn't know if he wanted Alexandra's mother in the birthing room. She's the one going through all of this, if it eases her pain to have a life-sized Planter's Peanut cosplay character in there, let her have it. And now this. Both he and Gage browbeat the crap out her to induce as if it were no big deal. Like a pregnant woman is some sort of faulty vending machine that you tilt and shake until the item you purchased falls out. They were genuinely shocked that the machine talked back. There is some serious misogyny going on their attitude (and Jenny was no help). Between Jeff making fun of Alexandra's vagina and Gage not even being able to say the word (really?), they need to get it together, because Monroe has one and it's their responsibility to help her deal with it - Not Jenny's, not Zoila's, not various Nannies' ... theirs.

[tobeannounced]

I know they couldn't show everything in this episode, but I'm curious about if the surrogate breast feeds or pumps, or is it straight to formula? This epi actually brought up a lot of questions for me that I didn't have before. Like maybe it would have been better if Jeff and Gage had had a boy what with their juvenile reactions about female anatomy.

[Caseysgirl]

I don't watch "Flipping Out" very much but  have seen Jeff on WWHL and I guess I was pretty apalled at the treatment of the surrogate by both fathers;Jenni, and every one else waiting for the childbirth. My god! She's not your slave and insisting that she be induced ( do they even care how painful that can be) merely because it is more convenient for them is the height of entitlement!  God help this poor little girl ; she will have everything money can buy but she is going to be a psychological mess with these two  arrogant misogynists raising her.

[biakbiak]

To be fair they did say that there friend had recently gone passed her due date and the baby didn't make it.

[Bronzedog]

There seemed to be an awful lot of people in the room witnessing the birth.

[Madding crowd]

1 hour ago, biakbiak said:

To be fair they did say that there friend had recently gone passed her due date and the baby didn't make it.

Many, many women go past their due date-the due date is just an estimate based on the woman's last period and various ultrasound measurements. Their friends baby must have had some kind of birth defect or the mother had a medical issue. Alexandra was examined by a doctor and he advised her against the induction. 

[LilaFowler]

The waxing comment didn't really bother me. It was crass, vulgar and inappropriate but that's Jeff. I'm more offended by everything else that transpired. They were talking about Alexandra as if she were an incubator and not a human being. I thought their behavior (it was bullying, really) in regard to inducing was really disgusting. Maybe it's the times but I'm sick of men thinking that they deserve to have some kind of control over a woman's body.

Jenni was the only one who was at least thinking about a woman in labor and pointed out that Alexandra must be in a lot of pain. This was when everyone else was bitching and moaning and staring at their watches. Here's some advice guys: the next time you use a surrogate, find someone who's local FFS. Jeff likes to make things more complicated than they have to be. I hope he quits Dr. Anna or whatever her name is and finds someone who can really help him. Otherwise, little Monroe could be in for a rough ride with Daddy #1 being a micromanager and Daddy #2 being a passive-aggressive narcissist who likes to play mind games.

I'm so happy that Vanina quit. I was worried that she'd get sucked back in. I see a lot of myself in her personality. I'm naturally very quiet, too. She has always seemed a bit self-conscious and insecure and being around the cameras (and Jeff's over the top personality) probably didn't help to bring her out of her shell. I wish her success. It's so hard to leave a job especially one that you've worked for years and dealt with the ups and downs.

[MsTree]

In the REAL world, I can understand being offended by Jeff's remark. But remember, this is a "reality" show...meaning there is little to no reality when it comes to dialogue.  Jeff thinks he's a comedian and thrives on be offensive. That's his shtick!  Without it, there would be no Flipping Out!  His entire show (for the most part) is based on Jeff being offensive and/or outrageous with his comments. Everyone concerned knows exactly who TV Jeff is...and they accept it. As Jenni once said "you never know what's coming out of his mouth".  To that end, I seriously doubt Alex was offended because she knows the REAL Jeff.

[biakbiak]

14 hours ago, Madding crowd said:

Many, many women go past their due date-the due date is just an estimate based on the woman's last period and various ultrasound measurements. Their friends baby must have had some kind of birth defect or the mother had a medical issue. Alexandra was examined by a doctor and he advised her against the induction. 

I am aware but to me Gage and Jeff were acting like fairly typical new parents where every thing that can go wrong crosses your mind and they just want her here so they no she is okay. Add the additional layer of having absolutely know say, I am not suggesting they should have a say because it's her body, adds to the fears and frustration.

[Willowsmom]

57 minutes ago, biakbiak said:

I am aware but to me Gage and Jeff were acting like fairly typical new parents where every thing that can go wrong crosses your mind and they just want her here so they no she is okay. Add the additional layer of having absolutely no say, I am not suggesting they should have a say because it's her body, adds to the fears and frustration.

Their concerns were understandable. But after having the doctor tell them everything was fine and it was better to wait that should have been the end of coercing Alex.

[ghoulina]

2 hours ago, Willowsmom said:

Their concerns were understandable. But after having the doctor tell them everything was fine and it was better to wait that should have been the end of coercing Alex.

Exactly. We didn't see all the exchanges, but clearly they kept bringing it up, because the induction date got moved up several times. I just felt it was super unfair to Alexandra. And, really, to their child. Let babies cook (and mature those lungs) as long as they need to! 

[biakbiak]

21 minutes ago, ghoulina said:

because the induction date got moved up several times.

It was moved once from Friday to Wednesday.

[ghoulina]

Just now, biakbiak said:

It was moved once from Friday to Wednesday.

That is true. I guess I phrased myself wrong, but I was including the fact that they pressured her into an induction date AT ALL. 

[bichonblitz]

On 9/1/2017 at 2:44 PM, biakbiak said:

It's his daughter, it's a pretty big deal

I get that but he was annoying and whiney while Jeff didn't bother me near as much, crude comment aside. JMO 

[Locutus]

I think it is basically two men who are shut down emotionally, Gage touching Jeff's back during the birth is the only time I recall seeing any type of affection between them, coupled with having no bloody idea what a pregnant woman is all about. Apart from what they read on the internet. Everything in their life is scheduled, so they assume the birth of a child is no different. They seem to treat their relationship as a business partnership, and I just don't know if that will work in the long run.

Edited September 3, 2017 by Locutus

[Maharincess]

17 hours ago, Locutus said:

I think it is basically two men who are shut down emotionally, Gage touching Jeff's back during the birth is the only time I recall seeing any type of affection between them, coupled with having no bloody idea what a pregnant woman is all about. Apart from what they read on the internet. Everything in their life is scheduled, so they assume the birth of a child is no different. They seem to treat their relationship as a business partnership, and I just don't know if that will work in the long run.

I agree about the affection between Jeff and Gage. I kept waiting for them to hug or something while their baby was being born but there was nothing.  I know a lot of people aren't demonstrative but I expected a little more between them during such an emotional event. 

[SanDiegoInExile]

On 9/1/2017 at 10:11 AM, Willowsmom said:

.... But why on earth was Jenni, with a small child at home and pregnant (something she's had  trouble sustaining) there? she needs to be near her doctors just in case and why leave your own child to go sit for days waiting?

Maybe because it's a TV show and she is an Executive Producer.

She likely had doctor's approval/permission.  Plus, they are no doubt hyping or "amp"ing up her pregnancy issues because ...

It's a TV show.

On 9/1/2017 at 2:06 PM, Bronzedog said:

How is it possible that Zoila's English gets worse each year?

Probably because she speaks primarily Spanish at home -- and spends only a couple days a week, for a few months of the year, working for Jeff.

Plus, for the limited time she spends at Jeff's, she is speaking Spanish to her housekeeping peers and the construction crew.

Each season of 10 episodes only seems to cover about 4 months of Jeff's life, if that much.

[dleighg]

That very brief glimpse of Alex after Gage said "thank you" cut me to the core. Of course I've never been a surrogate, just given birth (twice), there must be some conflicting feelings with essentially being unnecessary 20 seconds after the baby is born. She gave them an incredible gift. 

Edited September 4, 2017 by dleighg

[poeticlicensed]

Wow , Jeff trying to push the surrogate into an induction was 100% inappropriate. I don't care if they were paying her lots of money. It's about the woman, her doctor, her health and the baby's health. Jeff's schedule is not a factor. I was a week overdue with my first and my BP rose so I was induced. Otherwise my doctor would have let me go longer. I also thought it was awful that only Gage even acknowledged the surrogate after the baby was born. 

I am lol that Jeff and Gage think that the timing of the birth was so stressful. Oh my just wait. Babies don't come with schedules. Just wait. Those two are way too into themselves. They think if they hire enough help, well, problem solved. 

[pasdetrois]

Quote

That very brief glimpse of Alex after Gage said "thank you" cut me to the core.

Gage had the grace, despite his and Jeff's narcissism, to remember to thank the woman who made the baby possible. But I agree that the two of them treated her like chattel - a vessel whose role was to serve their every selfish need. Wonder if she will carry their second child.

I did enjoy hearing about the engineering and architectural issues and inspections at the two properties.

I bet Zoila enjoyed the silence when the crew was up in Chico.

On this episode we were treated to Jenni's drama over an infection. We were rolling in the aisles watching her milk the scene where she slowly maneuvered to her chair at Jeff's office. And no way was she going to miss the videotaping of the birth, despite earlier complaints about her pregnancy being at risk. Jenni would walk over her grandmother to reach a camera. And she sided with Jeff when he was complaining about the surrogate and her doctor refusing to induce ("There are differences of opinion about that...") and then Gage shut her down.

After pretending to support Vanina for two seconds, Jeff tried to gaslight her. "Do you think you should see a therapist?" He tried to blame her for her feelings. Also, when he offered to refer work to her, I think it was to continue to control her career and try to prevent her from working with any competitors. I hope she does well in her new endeavors.

There's an old but interesting review of Jeff Lewis Designs on Yelp.

[Jsage]

On 9/3/2017 at 4:30 AM, Locutus said:

I think it is basically two men who are shut down emotionally, Gage touching Jeff's back during the birth is the only time I recall seeing any type of affection between them, coupled with having no bloody idea what a pregnant woman is all about. Apart from what they read on the internet. Everything in their life is scheduled, so they assume the birth of a child is no different. They seem to treat their relationship as a business partnership, and I just don't know if that will work in the long run.

I think the audience not seeing affection between Jeff and Gage may be on purpose. They were together for a long time before we ever saw Gage on the show. Keeping their love (and sex) life out of the show may be a part of how they remain a couple.