Jill, Derick & the Kids: Moving On!!

[hathorlive]

8 hours ago, Trillium said:

There’s nothing wrong with the house, but it’s super basic. Homes like that are a dime a dozen these days. I see all these new builds in sub divisions and occasionally look them up to see what they look like inside, and they all are like this. Super generic and small,  4 bedrooms in about 1,800 sq ft.

Which is fine, nothing wrong with wanting or having a home like that, but it really did not necessitate a tour.  I’m sure Jill can’t adjust to not having everything about their life available for public consumption. 

It's a new house.  She's a person who had to share underwear for pete's sake.  It's amazing to her and she's proud of it.  I doesn't matter what we think, she was excited to show it off.  I wonder if the European members of this forum think we are crazy. American's have huge houses with many unused living spaces.  My foreign friends didn't have their own room or a "large" room.  This is a pretty large house for world standards.  Even if it's very beige.

[QuinnInND]

2 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

Jill's house makes little sense to me. Four bedrooms usually means a family of 6 or more. The gathering spaces, meaning the living room and eat-in kitchen are rather small for a family of six. I'd rather have larger gathering areas and smaller or fewer bedrooms.

Anymore, people think it's awful for kids to share a room. Most people with 2 kids would put one in each room and have the extra one for an office/guest room. 

[Scarlett45]

4 hours ago, QuinnInND said:

Anymore, people think it's awful for kids to share a room. Most people with 2 kids would put one in each room and have the extra one for an office/guest room. 

 I see no problem with children that small sharing a bedroom, but once children get older I think separate rooms is ideal if it’s something the family can afford to do. 

The kids are super little right now, I understand why they (Jill and Derrick) had them sharing. 

[QuinnInND]

20 minutes ago, Scarlett45 said:

 I see no problem with children that small sharing a bedroom, but once children get older I think separate rooms is ideal if it’s something the family can afford to do. 

The kids are super little right now, I understand why we had them sharing. 

I don't mine them sharing either. Just some people do. My twins share a room. It's just with the dillwads, the furniture is wrong for them. They need proper beds  and a bigger room. 

[cmr2014]

I don't think there's anything wrong with the boys sharing a room, either. They're very young, and a lot of little kids feel more secure sleeping with someone else.

I do, however, find the rest of it inappropriate. Izzy's bed is too small, and should have been passed down to Sam by now. Sam is two and doesn't need to be in a crib. That big chair is in the room for Jill to nurse -- Sam isn't an infant who gets up in the middle of the night to nurse.

Jill is a HOMEMAKER by choice. Her home isn't clean, or comfortable, or inviting. There's simply no excuse for no clean sheets on the beds and no pillow cases on the pillows.

I will grant her, however, that her kids look clean these days and their clothes fit and are appropriate. While the quality of the food she makes isn't great, they obviously get enough to eat, and she does make an effort to provide some bits and pieces of healthy food here and there.

[dariafan]

8 hours ago, PradaKitty said:

I have a LOT of stuff and have managed to fill a three bedroom two bath home - and I live by myself. However, my home is neither cluttered, nor messy. My car lives in the garage with room to spare and there is a place for everything. My closets are tidy (and I have a LOT of clothes), and my backyard has plants and a water feature. My deck is an oasis. My house could most likely be filmed at any time. BECAUSE IT IS ORGANIZED! 

You can come teach me your ways whenever you want !

[Misslindsey]

I agree with everyone that Jill's house is not that messy, but if I was filming it I would tidy it up. Hell, I am a fairly neat and organized person, but I tidy up before my cleaning lady comes.

I do not mind the boys sharing a room, but I would think that they would rethink the furniture in the smaller room or give them one of the bigger rooms (Derrick's office or the guest room). Jill does not seem like the most logical person though. 

[Sew Sumi]

Jill seems to lack basic organisational skills. She said her sisters helped her "decorate." Aside from Derelict's Den, there is little in the way of decor. However, the good news is that they don't have a picture of Boobchelle in their bathroom. I'll take the candles over that horror.

[mynextmistake]

7 hours ago, hathorlive said:

It's a new house.  She's a person who had to share underwear for pete's sake.  It's amazing to her and she's proud of it.  I doesn't matter what we think, she was excited to show it off.  I wonder if the European members of this forum think we are crazy. American's have huge houses with many unused living spaces.  My foreign friends didn't have their own room or a "large" room.  This is a pretty large house for world standards.  Even if it's very beige.

My house is 800 square feet (we do also have a basement but we rarely use it for anything) and we get by just fine. Jill’s house seems big enough to meet their needs just fine. I do think they’ve misallocated the space, though. There’s nothing wrong with having the boys share a room (keep in mind that shared bedrooms are the norm for Jill) but that room is tiny. The bed and crib are jammed together and there isn’t any room to play. It makes no sense to have them crammed in there like that while a bigger room sits basically unused.

I do think the reason they went with a four-bedroom rather than a three-bedroom is that they plan to have another child. I don’t think Jill would mind having a third boy in Sam and Izzy’s room but there’s no way she would put a girl in there. 

[GeeGolly]

I agree with you all, it's not odd that the boys are sharing a room. The odd thing for me is the boys room.

Moving can be confusing and disrupting for kids. One might think that special attention would have be taken with the boys' room to ease the transition. Pictures and fun curtains would be nice. Not having bulky furniture towering over Izzy's bed might feel cozier. A special comforter or sleeping bag for Izzy would likely be a big deal for him.

Their room feels disheveled and minimally functional.

Poor Ben. The only preacher hubby without an office.

[Jynnan tonnix]

I'm trying to think back to when my boys got their own rooms. They are 5 1/2 years apart, with a sister in between, but as I recall we got bunkbeds for them once the younger one graduated to a real bed when he was probably about two and a half. We would have been living in Guam then, and I'm pretty sure he slept in the playpen for some period of time until then. Were toddler beds even a thing 30-ish years ago? I think they all went more or less from cribs to beds.

Anyway, I think the boys got their own rooms sometime after that, so the older one would have been around nine or ten.

As others have said, the size of Jill's house is not a problem at all - houses in Europe almost invariably average far smaller than those in the USA, and hers is of a similar size, if not a bit larger, than that which a lot of families start out in - and often end up staying in way beyond the time period that they originally planned. If the space is well-utilized it can be quite workable. We are really quite spoiled for housing in this country for the most part. 

[sigmaforce86]

15 hours ago, BetyBee said:

I agree that Jill and Derdick seem resentful of Izzy, but they seem warmer towards Sam.  I have no idea why that would be.  Izzy seems to have become quite needy and that can be annoying, but he seems kindly disposed towards Sam and other children.  I wish they could nurture his good qualities and then maybe the neediness would go away.  He seems like a bright, little boy.  Whenever I watch a Dullard video, I feel sad for him.  😢  I do think Cathy genuinely cares for him and I hope he feels the unconditional love from her.  Even if she is nutty!  

I'm starting to go far, far down the psychoanalyzing rabbit hole but even though I agree with everyone that Izzy is getting the short end of the stick I'm amazed it's not Sam at least as far as Jill is concerned.  The consensus seems to be that Jill isn't having more kids because she can't and that something went very wrong with Sam's birth, I wouldn't have been surprised at all if that made Jill resentful towards Sam as the one that (in her mind) "ruined" her future baby making chances.  If she was treating him badly or even just ignoring him more that would make sense.  Of course she could be swinging the other way - being overly clinging and loving toward Sam because she thinks after the birth trouble he's a miracle baby and possibly (probably) her last.  Plus with Izzy growing up, getting out of that "cute" stage and being  or trying to be more active, curious, independent  (all the normal things that the Duggars blanket train and shame out of their kids) she may resent having to curb what we see as normal childhood but she sees as constant willfulness.  It'll be very interesting to see if there continue to be a disparity in how the two are treated or if Sam is no longer the golden child when he hits the 4-5 year old mark.

1 hour ago, Jynnan tonnix said:

I'm trying to think back to when my boys got their own rooms. They are 5 1/2 years apart, with a sister in between, but as I recall we got bunkbeds for them once the younger one graduated to a real bed when he was probably about two and a half. We would have been living in Guam then, and I'm pretty sure he slept in the playpen for some period of time until then. Were toddler beds even a thing 30-ish years ago? I think they all went more or less from cribs to beds.

I don't know when they became popular but I have to admit I think toddler beds are a scam the stores cooked up to get parents to spend more money.  We used to just use a regular bed when they out grew the crib, push it against the wall to block one side then buy a guard to put on a the other side.  Some friends and family even skipped the guard and put a couple chairs along the bed.  Worked fine for all of us and the kids could still get out by crawling to the end of the bed, it was just to make sure they didn't roll over and fall out until they got used to the "big kid" bed.  I never saw the need for toddler beds although we did have to leave the guard on longer for one child, I swear that kid was such a violent sleeper he was in his teens and still flailing around in his sleep until he flew off the bed.  OTOH I was in my 20's and still sleep walking so I may have passed on some bad sleeping traits!

[ginger90]

60’s child here. I had a “youth bed”. It used a twin mattress, was lower than a regular bed, and had detachable rails. So, a toddler bed with a longer life.

Edited July 12, 2019 by ginger90

[dariafan]

The boys sharing s room will make it easier to plan their torment of their guards.  I just don’t understand why they had to be given the smallest.  I understand that’s how Jill was raised , but aren’t you supposed to want better for your own children ??   I don’t have children. I have an dog and she has her own room.  It’s actually bigger than my sewing room.   

[GeeGolly]

When Izzy was around one, Jill said something to the effect of when he gets a sibling he'll know he's not the center of the world.

Jill and Derick were very naive of the responsibility of a kid, period. Moving to C.A. amplified this. That it when they were burrito wrapping him for punishment.

No doubt, they don't feel they're treating Izzy poorly. They just have no idea. 4 year old in a toddler bed wearing a baby bib. 4 year old completing Kindergarten and co-parenting his brother.

They are both completely clueless of child development and have unrealistic expectations of their older child. Sound familiar?

Co-parent your siblings. Don't ever be without an accountability partner. Hmm, you can be responsible for a completely dependent human, yet can't go grab milk alone. 

[Barb23]

3 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

I agree with you all, it's not odd that the boys are sharing a room. The odd thing for me is the boys room.

Moving can be confusing and disrupting for kids. One might think that special attention would have be taken with the boys' room to ease the transition. Pictures and fun curtains would be nice. Not having bulky furniture towering over Izzy's bed might feel cozier. A special comforter or sleeping bag for Izzy would likely be a big deal for him.

Their room feels disheveled and minimally functional.

Poor Ben. The only preacher hubby without an office.

I've been thinking the same thing.  Kid-friendly decorations & bedding/curtains  would go a long way in Sam & Izzy's room. Izzy seems to be into Paw Patrol.  I'm sure he would love to pick out & choose where to hang some Paw Patrol cling-ons on the walls. **  If a stranger walked in that room, they would think  it just  held leftover furniture not that two kids lived there.   I think it's nice to have an adult chair in a kid's room not only for feeding an infant but used for telling stories & snuggling in when they get older.  The chair size just needs to fit the room. I kept a rocking chair in my son's room for years. I updated the cushion as he grew to fit in with the rest of his furnishings. 

I watched Alyssa Bates Webster's house tour for comparison. Jill could learn alot not only in her presentation but decorating hints as well. The Webster's house was picked up & clean. It looks much more brighter & inviting than the Dillards. It seems to have plenty of clutter too (even more so)  but their clutter is contained & organized. Maybe its the pops of color in the furnishings & different types & textures of the accessories that makes it more inviting. It looks like the home of a young family. The Dillweed's living areas looks like a retired couple lives there in comparison. They need things to make it more comfortable looking.  A brightly colored wall  & accessories would help immensely.

** I think Izzy's needines & running around showing off comes from his lack of parental attention.   Poor kid, he just acts like he does so someone will notice him.  I think Izzy would love it if Jill took him out by himself to pick out decorations for his & Izzy's room.  Or Jill could help him choose something on-line while giving him her undivided attention when Sam is napping. 

[Minivanessa]

10 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

When Izzy was around one, Jill said something to the effect of when he gets a sibling he'll know he's not the center of the world.

Jill and Derick were very naive of the responsibility of a kid, period. Moving to C.A. amplified this. That it when they were burrito wrapping him for punishment.

No doubt, they don't feel they're treating Izzy poorly. They just have no idea. 4 year old in a toddler bed wearing a baby bib. 4 year old completing Kindergarten and co-parenting his brother.

They are both completely clueless of child development and have unrealistic expectations of their older child. Sound familiar?

Co-parent your siblings. Don't ever be without an accountability partner. Hmm, you can be responsible for a completely dependent human, yet can't go grab milk alone. 

^^Yes to all that. I still remember, when Izzy was tiny, maybe just beginning to toddle, Derick said something that I found chilling. I can't remember if it was on the show or something on social media. But. He described Izzy as being "manipulative."

That rang alarm bells in my head. I remember thinking, OMG, Derick has no understanding of early childhood development, and seems to be parroting harsh theological/ideological ideas of parenting. Maybe from the Pearls. 

I loathe Jill for happily posting on social media, like it was something great, that photo of poor Izzy, fully dressed and in shoes, red-faced and screaming, wrapped in that "burrito" of a quilt.

And then there was her comment, as you mentioned, that Izzy needs to learn he's not the center of the world. 

Jesus wept.

ETA: The 4 year old in a toddler bib thing sort of echoes the Duggar family "birthday" celebrations, where teenagers and five year olds basically were given the same "party." In that case I assume it was due to the logistics of dealing with volume of kids. But when you only have two, it can't be super difficult to treat each one of them in an age-appropriate way. 

Edited July 12, 2019 by Jeeves

[GeeGolly]

4 hours ago, Barb23 said:

... The Dillweed's living areas looks like a retired couple lives there in comparison. They need things to make it more comfortable looking.  A brightly colored wall  & accessories would help immensely.

We have a winner! And the kids bedroom looks just like what grandparents might throw together for regular sleepovers.

Edited July 12, 2019 by GeeGolly

[Jynnan tonnix]

24 minutes ago, Jeeves said:

^^Yes to all that. I still remember, when Izzy was tiny, maybe just beginning to toddle, Derick said something that I found chilling. I can't remember if it was on the show or something on social media. But. He described Izzy as being "manipulative" and IIRC it was in the context of Izzy needing to be disciplined.

That rang alarm bells in my head. I remember thinking, OMG, Derick has no understanding of early childhood development, and seems to be parroting harsh theological/ideological ideas of parenting. Maybe from the Pearls. 

I loathe Jill for happily posting on social media, like it was something great, that photo of poor Izzy, fully dressed and in shoes, red-faced and screaming, wrapped in that "burrito" of a quilt.

And then there was her comment, as you mentioned, that Izzy needs to learn he's not the center of the world. 

Jesus wept.

Yup...and what made it even worse, if I recall, was that he considered that Izzy's hugging him and saying "I love you" was the "manipulative" thing involved. I have to wonder whether he even learned that phrase from his parents, or from Cathy. 

[dariafan]

2 hours ago, Jeeves said:

^^Yes to all that. I still remember, when Izzy was tiny, maybe just beginning to toddle, Derick said something that I found chilling. I can't remember if it was on the show or something on social media. But. He described Izzy as being "manipulative" and IIRC it was in the context of Izzy needing to be disciplined.

That rang alarm bells in my head. I remember thinking, OMG, Derick has no understanding of early childhood development, and seems to be parroting harsh theological/ideological ideas of parenting. Maybe from the Pearls. 

I loathe Jill for happily posting on social media, like it was something great, that photo of poor Izzy, fully dressed and in shoes, red-faced and screaming, wrapped in that "burrito" of a quilt.

And then there was her comment, as you mentioned, that Izzy needs to learn he's not the center of the world. 

Jesus wept.

ETA: The 4 year old in a toddler bib thing sort of echoes the Duggar family "birthday" celebrations, where teenagers and five year olds basically were given the same "party." In that case I assume it was due to the logistics of dealing with volume of kids. But when you only have two, it can't be super difficult to treat each one of them in an age-appropriate way. 

What learn your children’s personalities and encourage them ????    To the Duggar’s that’s a foreign language !  See I would have a tiny ( teeny tiny spec) of respect for Michelle if she would at least learn her litters personalities 

2 hours ago, Jynnan tonnix said:

Yup...and what made it even worse, if I recall, was that he considered that Izzy's hugging him and saying "I love you" was the "manipulative" thing involved. I have to wonder whether he even learned that phrase from his parents, or from Cathy. 

That’s some Scientology stuff right there.  Big beings in small bodies 

[Ohiopirate02]

27 minutes ago, dariafan said:

That’s some Scientology stuff right there.  Big beings in small bodies 

There is a lot of overlap between Gothardism and Scientology.  No surprise, cults are gonna cult.

[Temperance]

20 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

Jill was more like the fun aunt with her buddy group. She didn't have to house them, buy their food or clothes and she wasn't solely responsible for raising them to be good Christians. She also had about eleventy billion other folks to pass them off to. She could sleep late, shower and hide away in her room if she wanted to.

Jill was a sister-mom and now she's a mom. She's parenting much like her mother did and spouting the same shit to her kids that her mother did.

Cathy seems to be the fun grandma, but she's bat shit crazy too. 

Maybe, just maybe, Jill and the boys will meet some neighbors and Jill can get exposed to more typical parenting. (and housekeeping) 

Jill's house makes little sense to me. Four bedrooms usually means a family of 6 or more. The gathering spaces, meaning the living room and eat-in kitchen are rather small for a family of six. I'd rather have larger gathering areas and smaller or fewer bedrooms.

But Jill's 12. She probably still spends a fair amount of time hanging in her room.

Four bedrooms usually means a family of 6 or more? Not in my experience. The way it is among people I know is master, kid #1, kid #2, and guest room/bonus space. 

As for Jill as a sistermom, the Jill I remember was much involved with that. I'm not sure her sleeping in didn't start until after she was married. She may have started sleeping in due to pregnancy, depression, and rubbing the midnight lotion with Derick. 

[GeeGolly]

59 minutes ago, Temperance said:

Four bedrooms usually means a family of 6 or more? Not in my experience. The way it is among people I know is master, kid #1, kid #2, and guest room/bonus space. 

As for Jill as a sistermom, the Jill I remember was much involved with that. I'm not sure her sleeping in didn't start until after she was married. She may have started sleeping in due to pregnancy, depression, and rubbing the midnight lotion with Derick. 

In my neck of the woods 4+ bedrooms are rare. 4+ bedrooms are only found in McMansions or in remodels; going up into the attic or down into the basement. The folks I know have only created more bedrooms because they needed them. More than two kids in a bedroom is usually tight.

I grew up in a generation when most families in my area had 4 or more children. Most of my generation has 2 to 4 children.

All the Duggars sleep well past 9am. They've spoken about it repeatedly. As for Jill sister-momming, I saw her make pickles once and I saw her make signs once.

Clearly Jenny and Joy are (were?) close to Jill but most kids attach to whoever gives them the most attention. Attention could mean changing their diapers, getting them dressed, not losing them, hugging them when Michelle sends them to their buddy. Jill was assigned that job. 

Edited July 12, 2019 by GeeGolly

[momma2seven]

I wonder if part of the lack of toys and personality in the boys' bedroom (along with it being the smallest), has something to do with the "safeguards" Jill learned and lived with after the molestations? She may not want them to have a place separate from the main living area to play and spend time together. If her children spent even 5 minutes alone with each other playing behind a closed door,they may not be able to control themselves. It may also be why she resents Izzy and is protective of Sam, either intentionally or subconsciously she equates Izzy with Josh as the the oldest son, and Sam currently represents all the younger siblings that needed to be kept safe from Josh.

[ginger90]

The childproof lock on Derick’s office door was interesting. Perhaps one on the laundry room door may be a good choice.

[louannems]

9 hours ago, Jynnan tonnix said:

Yup...and what made it even worse, if I recall, was that he considered that Izzy's hugging him and saying "I love you" was the "manipulative" thing involved. I have to wonder whether he even learned that phrase from his parents, or from Cathy. 

This is pure speculation, but when Derick said that, I always pictured Izzy crying "daddy, I love you" before Derick spanked him.  I've seen toddlers and preschool kids do that and the parents claim the child is being manipulative to avoid being hit.

On an earlier episode, when Izzy was around a year old, Derick stated in a talking head that Izzy still had some spirit left.  I felt chilled wondering if Derick felt the need to "discipline" the high spirit out of poor Izzy.

Also, Jana mentioned that Izzy was a highly spirited child.  He was about two.

[Marigold]

Jill is really desperate for attention. The sex post and now a tour of her home. I can't imagine what she has planned next to make us all nauseous. 

[Sew Sumi]

8 minutes ago, Marigold said:

Jill is really desperate for attention. The sex post and now a tour of her home. I can't imagine what she has planned next to make us all nauseous. 

Another beige messipe?

[doodlebug]

20 minutes ago, louannems said:

This is pure speculation, but when Derick said that, I always pictured Izzy crying "daddy, I love you" before Derick spanked him.  I've seen toddlers and preschool kids do that and the parents claim the child is being manipulative to avoid being hit.

On an earlier episode, when Izzy was around a year old, Derick stated in a talking head that Izzy still had some spirit left.  I felt chilled wondering if Derick felt the need to "discipline" the high spirit out of poor Izzy.

Also, Jana mentioned that Izzy was a highly spirited child.  He was about two.

Yes, I remember both of them commenting on Izzy being high spirited as though that was a bad thing.  They seemed to have cured him of it; he now seems anxious and eager for attention.

[Marigold]

1 hour ago, doodlebug said:

Yes, I remember both of them commenting on Izzy being high spirited as though that was a bad thing.  They seemed to have cured him of it; he now seems anxious and eager for attention.

Kinda like Jill.

(that was sad)

[mynextmistake]

14 hours ago, sigmaforce86 said:

I'm starting to go far, far down the psychoanalyzing rabbit hole but even though I agree with everyone that Izzy is getting the short end of the stick I'm amazed it's not Sam at least as far as Jill is concerned.  The consensus seems to be that Jill isn't having more kids because she can't and that something went very wrong with Sam's birth, I wouldn't have been surprised at all if that made Jill resentful towards Sam as the one that (in her mind) "ruined" her future baby making chances.  If she was treating him badly or even just ignoring him more that would make sense.  Of course she could be swinging the other way - being overly clinging and loving toward Sam because she thinks after the birth trouble he's a miracle baby and possibly (probably) her last.  Plus with Izzy growing up, getting out of that "cute" stage and being  or trying to be more active, curious, independent  (all the normal things that the Duggars blanket train and shame out of their kids) she may resent having to curb what we see as normal childhood but she sees as constant willfulness.  It'll be very interesting to see if there continue to be a disparity in how the two are treated or if Sam is no longer the golden child when he hits the 4-5 year old mark.

I don't know when they became popular but I have to admit I think toddler beds are a scam the stores cooked up to get parents to spend more money.  We used to just use a regular bed when they out grew the crib, push it against the wall to block one side then buy a guard to put on a the other side.  Some friends and family even skipped the guard and put a couple chairs along the bed.  Worked fine for all of us and the kids could still get out by crawling to the end of the bed, it was just to make sure they didn't roll over and fall out until they got used to the "big kid" bed.  I never saw the need for toddler beds although we did have to leave the guard on longer for one child, I swear that kid was such a violent sleeper he was in his teens and still flailing around in his sleep until he flew off the bed.  OTOH I was in my 20's and still sleep walking so I may have passed on some bad sleeping traits!

I don’t think that’s the consensus at all. A few people have speculated that Jill is now infertile due to complications from Sam’s birth, but that’s all. There’s no evidence supporting that idea save the facts that she had a c-section and they haven’t announced another pregnancy yet. Spacing pregnancies at more than 2 years apart wouldn’t even be worth mentioning if Jill wasn’t a Duggar, and not all the Duggar kids are going to replicate Michelle’s fecundity — in fact, so far only Joe and Kendra and (maybe) Jessa and Ben are headed down that path. Many of the couples, such as Jinger and Jeremy and JD and Abbie, seem to be shifting to a more fundie-light, mainstream conservative Christian lifestyle, including the use of birth control. I wouldn’t be surprised if Derick and Jill are following suit. Jill’s still in her twenties, they have plenty of time to have another after Derick finishes law school.

As to the Izzy v. Sam (ha — see what I just did there?) favoritism, Sam seems to be a pretty mellow kid and Izzy seems kind of anxious and high-strung. It’s possible that Izzy just grates on Jill and Derick’s nerves more so they’re less patient with him. It’s also interesting that Derick was around a lot more while Izzy was a young child than he has been with Sam; maybe he’s less strict with Sam because he isn’t around to notice most of his “misbehavior” (which actually seems to be totally age-appropriate behavior when not viewed through the lens of all children are sinners). 

Edited July 13, 2019 by mynextmistake

[awaken]

10 hours ago, Temperance said:

 She may have started sleeping in due to pregnancy, depression, and rubbing the midnight lotion with Derick. 

I will be saying this forever!  What an amazing mental picture!

4 hours ago, Marigold said:

Jill is really desperate for attention. The sex post and now a tour of her home. I can't imagine what she has planned next to make us all nauseous. 

I really can’t wait!!  I don’t know how she can top the sex post. 

[cmr2014]

9 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

In my neck of the woods 4+ bedrooms are rare. 4+ bedrooms are only found in McMansions or in remodels; going up into the attic or down into the basement. The folks I know have only created more bedrooms because they needed them. More than two kids in a bedroom is usually tight.

I grew up in a generation when most families in my area had 4 or more children. Most of my generation has 2 to 4 children.

All the Duggars sleep well past 9am. They've spoken about it repeatedly. As for Jill sister-momming, I saw her make pickles once and I saw her make signs once.

Clearly Jenny and Joy are (were?) close to Jill but most kids attach to whoever gives them the most attention. Attention could mean changing their diapers, getting them dressed, not losing them, hugging them when Michelle sends them to their buddy. Jill was assigned that job. 

I was thinking about this recently, and I think that we sort of mis-remember the sister-mom role. Jill provided some affection and attention to her buddies to supplement the zero attention they got from their actual mother. The sister-moms kept track of their buddies when the family was out as a group. All of the kids had other siblings to play with during the day. No one appears to have taken responsibility to see that they were fed regularly. They appear to have seldom bathed. The TTH was (is) filthy -- the kids run around INSIDE all day long, and their feet are black with dirt all the time. There are (and haven't been since the initial reveal) clean sheets on any of the beds. I don't blame the sister-moms for any of this, of course. JB and J'chelle were overwhelmed by parenthood and the responsibilities of maintaining a household back when they had 5 kids. Their response, of course, was to have 14 more.

Think about what Jill's day would be like if she was a normal homemaker.

Get up in the morning, get the kids dressed.

Make breakfast.

Find an activity for Izzy and drop Sam in a playpen while she cleans the house and/or does some laundry

Make lunch

Take the kids to the park or the library or a similar activity

Come home and find an activity for Izzy and drop Sam in a play pen

Make dinner

Clean up while Derick plays with his sons

Give the kids a bath, get them into pajamas, read them a story, and put them to bed.

Lotion time with Derick

Think about how much of that she actually does -- not much. I think her days are as aimless and chaotic as her days at the TTH. I also think the fact that she's expected to feed those kids EVERY DAY, and entertain those kids EVERY DAY, is exhausting for her. She has no experience with schedules, or routines, and I'm sure it's nearly impossible for her to figure out how she would squeeze cleaning into her "busy" day. She also has no frame of reference for what a clean, comfortable, inviting house would look or feel like.

[Zella]

16 minutes ago, cmr2014 said:

I was thinking about this recently, and I think that we sort of mis-remember the sister-mom role. Jill provided some affection and attention to her buddies to supplement the zero attention they got from their actual mother. The sister-moms kept track of their buddies when the family was out as a group. All of the kids had other siblings to play with during the day. No one appears to have taken responsibility to see that they were fed regularly. They appear to have seldom bathed. The TTH was (is) filthy -- the kids run around INSIDE all day long, and their feet are black with dirt all the time. There are (and haven't been since the initial reveal) clean sheets on any of the beds. I don't blame the sister-moms for any of this, of course. JB and J'chelle were overwhelmed by parenthood and the responsibilities of maintaining a household back when they had 5 kids. Their response, of course, was to have 14 more.

Think about what Jill's day would be like if she was a normal homemaker.

Get up in the morning, get the kids dressed.

Make breakfast.

Find an activity for Izzy and drop Sam in a playpen while she cleans the house and/or does some laundry

Make lunch

Take the kids to the park or the library or a similar activity

Come home and find an activity for Izzy and drop Sam in a play pen

Make dinner

Clean up while Derick plays with his sons

Give the kids a bath, get them into pajamas, read them a story, and put them to bed.

Lotion time with Derick

Think about how much of that she actually does -- not much. I think her days are as aimless and chaotic as her days at the TTH. I also think the fact that she's expected to feed those kids EVERY DAY, and entertain those kids EVERY DAY, is exhausting for her. She has no experience with schedules, or routines, and I'm sure it's nearly impossible for her to figure out how she would squeeze cleaning into her "busy" day. She also has no frame of reference for what a clean, comfortable, inviting house would look or feel like.

This is a very astute post! I suspect this may be part of Jessa's issues with homemaking, too, though she seems to do a better job of connecting with her kids.

[lookeyloo]

On 7/12/2019 at 5:48 AM, GeeGolly said:

I agree with you all, it's not odd that the boys are sharing a room. The odd thing for me is the boys room.

Moving can be confusing and disrupting for kids. One might think that special attention would have be taken with the boys' room to ease the transition. Pictures and fun curtains would be nice. Not having bulky furniture towering over Izzy's bed might feel cozier. A special comforter or sleeping bag for Izzy would likely be a big deal for him.

Their room feels disheveled and minimally functional.

Poor Ben. The only preacher hubby without an office.

Did they change things up? Because I remember Jessa saying they all slept in the king size bed because the other room was Ben's office?  Did I make that up in my head??

[dariafan]

11 hours ago, mynextmistake said:

I don’t think that’s the consensus at all. A few people have speculated that Jill is now infertile due to complications from Sam’s birth, but that’s all. There’s no evidence supporting that idea save the facts that she had a c-section and they haven’t announced another pregnancy yet. Spacing pregnancies at more than 2 years apart wouldn’t even be worth mentioning if Jill wasn’t a Duggar, and not all the Duggar kids are going to replicate Michelle’s fecundity — in fact, so far only Joe and Kendra and (maybe) Jessa and Ben are headed down that path. Many of the couples, such as Jinger and Jeremy and JD and Abbie, seem to be shifting to a more fundie-light, mainstream conservative Christian lifestyle, including the use of birth control. I wouldn’t be surprised if Derick and Jill are following suit. Jill’s still in her twenties, they have plenty of time to have another after Derick finishes law school.

As to the Izzy v. Sam (ha — see what I just did there?) favoritism, Sam seems to be a pretty mellow kid and Izzy seems kind of anxious and high-strung. It’s possible that Izzy just grates on Jill and Derick’s nerves more so they’re less patient with him. It’s also interesting that Derick was around a lot more while Izzy was a young child than he has been with Sam; maybe he’s less strict with Sam because he isn’t around to notice most of his “misbehavior” (which actually seems to be totally age-appropriate behavior when not viewed through the lens of all children are sinners). 

Izzy being anxious and high strung ... so a visible mirror of this mother ... and they don’t like seeing that 

[GeeGolly]

2 hours ago, lookeyloo said:

Did they change things up? Because I remember Jessa saying they all slept in the king size bed because the other room was Ben's office?  Did I make that up in my head??

I'm remembering it as a guest room, with a full size bed covered in laundry.

[kokapetl]

On 7/11/2019 at 10:38 PM, Dirndl said:

I just conversed 1800 sq ft into meters and was surprised that in the US 167 m2 is considered a small house! The typical German house has 150 m2 and I see many new houses with only about 135 m2. Maybe that's why Jill's house didn't seem small to me, I just didn't like the floor plan. And she should really take out the huge chair and maybe put in a smaller chest of drawers in the boys' room.

I also didn't think her house was too cluttered for a normal day. However, if I wanted to take a video to broadcast my brand new house to the world, I would have tidied it up and probably cleaned for a week.

At least there’s some attempt at a backyard at Maison Dillard. Here in Australia, so many new houses just don’t have backyards. 

I’ve heard that Belgium or Luxembourg is extremely suburban. Is that true?

Edited July 13, 2019 by kokapetl

[lulu69]

On 7/11/2019 at 6:27 PM, hathorlive said:

It's a new house.  She's a person who had to share underwear for pete's sake.  It's amazing to her and she's proud of it.  I doesn't matter what we think, she was excited to show it off.  

A sad thought just occurred to me, does Jill see herself as actually owning the house?

I mean, Dipshit's employment has been spotty at best and that's being extremely generous. Most likely a good chunk of the money came from Jill's involvement with 19kac. Does Jill see that her work and income bought her the house or is it still her headship's house regardless? Or even worse, is the house seen as a present from Daddy Boob Bucks bestowed upon her?

So many questions.

Edited July 13, 2019 by lulu69

[ginger90]

[lulu69]

13 minutes ago, ginger90 said:

Really scraping the bottom of the barrel for attention, aren't you Jill?

[Portia]

27 minutes ago, ginger90 said:

This is considered content? Kill me now.

[galaxychaser]

https://www.yahoo.com/entertainment/counting-star-jill-dugger-gives-191651190.html

Israel got renamed Garrett 🤣

[galaxychaser]

Okay so I just watched Jill house video.  Yeah its cluttered but not as bad as I thought. It looks lived in with 2 little kids.  The boys room is tiny! It would be better if they put in a full bed for boys to share or something like this?

https://www.walmart.com/ip/Mainstays-Metal-Daybed-and-Trundle-Multiple-Colors/55849266

or bunk beds.

I agree why do they need a guest bedroom.  buy a regular bed in there and if someone comes to visit one of the boys can sleep in the living room or bunk with his brother.

The house is not as small as you guys described. Compared to my tiny apartment it looks like a mansion! Boy Arkansas house prices are cheap compared to NYC.

[hathorlive]

3 hours ago, lulu69 said:

A sad thought just occurred to me, does Jill see herself as actually owning the house?

I mean, Dipshit's employment has been spotty at best and that's being extremely generous. Most likely a good chunk of the money came from Jill's involvement with 19kac. Does Jill see that her work and income bought her the house or is it still her headship's house regardless? Or even worse, is the house seen as a present from Daddy Boob Bucks bestowed upon her?

So many questions.

I'm sure no one would ever point out that the house (which I'm speculating was paid for by her TLC money) was paid for by her exploited childhood. It's not like her dad is going to say that or her husband would admit his house was paid for by a woman.  But it more than likely wasn't given to her by the Duggar Real estate scam, I mean, trust.   I think whoever said that the daughters seem to be more fundie light than Quiverfull is right.  Even good southern Baptists have mortgages.  Ginger got one and no one was struck by lightening.   

I find her husband's beliefs toxic but I will always be happy to see Jill do something that infuriates her parents.  Get a mortgage.  Make money by shilling clothes.  Wearing jeans.  And part of me really hopes she (or her husband) understand that huge families aren't realistic without reality tv money.  She's got to understand that having a nice (if base model) house with a few kids is heaven compared to hiding food in the bathroom.   It's hard for me to snark on Jill when she's literally trying out shit we did at 13 and 14.  At least she's trying new things.  

[jcbrown]

7 hours ago, ginger90 said:

Man, Izzy is lanky!

[galaxychaser]

Well Dilldo is tall and skinny. Izzy takes after daddy.

[jcbrown]

2 minutes ago, galaxychaser said:

Well Dilldo is tall and skinny. Izzy takes after daddy.

Hopefully only in physicality and he can transcend the garbage personality.

[galaxychaser]

30 minutes ago, jcbrown said:

Hopefully only in physicality and he can transcend the garbage personality.

Nah can’t happen. With no outside influences coming in like school, friends who are not related, job for the unrelated boss. IZZY will grow up and be just like daddy.

[Ohiopirate02]

40 minutes ago, galaxychaser said:

Well Dilldo is tall and skinny. Izzy takes after daddy.

Good thing you put that extra l in dildo.  Calling Dreck by the real word would be a compliment that he will never deserve.