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Jill, Derick & the Kids: Moving On!!

Chris Knight

By Chris Knight
in Counting On

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TVFAN

TVFAN

I personally have no plans to purchase a gift for Jill and Derick's baby.  But in fairness to them, they have not asked me to do so.  Nor have they asked me to look at their registry.  

 

It's there for people who want to give them something, and I'm sure there are many people who for whatever reason wish to do so.  What's wrong with letting those people who wish to give know what they would find useful?  As I think someone upthread noted, it's that or get 1,000 pairs of booties.  Their choice to create a registry is not exactly my cup of tea, but it doesn't make them bad people.    

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Note from Mods:  The exchange about posting a scathing message to the Duggar FB page has made us a wee bit uncomfortable.  It's not "wrong" per se, but we're not thrilled about the idea of people organizing or advertising campaigns like this on the boards.  We'll let the current posts stand, with no warnings or anything, but in the future if you want to do something like this, please organize it by PM, not on the boards.  We'd appreciate it.  Thanks!!

 

Signed, your friendly benevolent overlords,

 

maraleia, frenchtoast and Rhondinella

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mythoughtis

mythoughtis

(edited)

What I find more amazing than the registry itself is the number of complete strangers that buy from it.  I have never bought a gift for someone that I didn't know.  I may have contributed to a fundraiser if I felt moved to do so, but I was convinced it was needed.  The Duggar-Dillards do not need my gifts or money.  Even without the show income, Michelle has been shown to have a storage shed full of extra child things.   Yes, they sold a bunch, but I bet they had a bunch left.   Even without that, Derick has a decent full time job (let's hope his Mom convinces him to keep it, and not jump on the Duggar bandwagon).  He gets a discount at Walmart and they can buy the extra they need, or have actual friend-given showers.  Why do complete strangers feel the need to spend their money on these two?

Edited by mythoughtis
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BitterApple

BitterApple

XrystalPond, it's like the Duggars don't even think to do something classy the way your friend did and use their following to help others. 

 

My gripe isn't necessarily with creating a registry itself, it's doing so ridiculously far in advance, letting it be known through social media and asking for gifts that have nothing to do with a baby. Given the combination of those factors I can't help but feel this is just one big grab. I feel it's one thing if a friend or family member decided on their own to get the couple an adult-oriented gift, but to actually ask for them? 

 

True, Jill isn't specifically requesting that fans buy her gifts, but she's no dummy. She already made out like a bandit in terms of her wedding registry, so she had to know people were going to send her gifts for the baby. 

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ShaNaeNae

ShaNaeNae

(edited)

Here ya go, ShaNaeNae! My comment is still standing! You'll know it when you see it:)

 

Jill Dillard Fan Page

 

Thank you so much BitterApple!  I can't get Facebook at work (blocked), but you bet I'm looking this up on my phone! 

 

Edited: They must have deleted it? Only see "fan" posts. People actually leave their phone numbers. Yes, wait by the phone, Jill will call.

 

I wonder which is which? They have that and Derick and Jill Dillard Official Facebook Page?

Edited by ShaNaeNae
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Bajovane

Bajovane

The fact that they have deleted out posts suggesting donating to charities or paying it forward says all I need to know about them.  I had kindly said as much.  It's one thing for friends and family who personally know them to be shown where to find the registry, but to post it on social media knowing their fans will want to spend their hard-earned money to give them freebies when they can well afford their own, to me, is just plain greed.  I'd like to know what they plan on doing with the stuff they don't use, or cannot/will not use? 

 

Personally, I'd far rather donate to a worthy cause in their name (heh, heh, like Planned Parenthood).

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Jynnan tonnix

Jynnan tonnix

The comment is still there. I do agree that asking for so many things when your family has virtual stockpiles of baby needs seems less than a real "Christian" thing to do. I don't begrudge the fans being able to contribute something if they want to feel part of it, but how  much nicer would it have been for them to specify some charity that was important to them, or something?

ShaNaeNae

ShaNaeNae

(edited)

I still don't see it (but I'm on my phone, tried the app and the browser), but did see someone (plus a reply from someone else) asking where they can send a baby gift. I left a polite, but firm message that I don't think they should need anything between having a large family and a hit show, but it would be nice if they listed a charity or two of babies who are in need. Not every child is as fortunate as theirs.  I can't believe people are actually wanting to buy them a gift.

 

ETA: How ironic. Yesterday I emailed Starcasm to see if they can check into the validity of the baby registry and today they did. Kind of.

Edited by ShaNaeNae
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GEML

GEML

I also wonder how many people donate to organizations like Planned Parenthood in their name all the time? It wouldn't have to be a lot, and it isn't all that difficult to find out their address in the google search world. I imagine that one of the reasons they don't suggest charities is because that would 1) open them up to people asking for more contact info (not that it's necessary, but let's be honest, in addition to money, most charities are looking to build lists that are also something they can sell and 2) that is a way of putting charities into some people's minds that they openinglt would NOT support.

Other than the stupid soda, there isn't anything on that registry that is terribly inappropriate.

What jumped out at ME was posting it while people were buying wedding gifts for Jessa. Way to continuously rain on your sister's day, Jill. What, you couldn't have waited until November 15? I'm actually starting to think that Jill is rather unkind.

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Barb23

Barb23

I just can't wrap my mind around the fact that they have "fans". What have they done to have fans?

It's like when Kim Kardashian talks about her fans. I can't think of one thing she has done that would merit having a fan.

It baffles the mind.

I totally agree. Why do fans send gifts to any star/athelete who make millions of dollars? Do these fans think that when Jill is putting A&D Ointment (yes it was on the registry) on the baby that "fan" Kathy sent us this & wasn't it "totally sweet"?

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BitterApple

BitterApple

What jumped out at ME was posting it while people were buying wedding gifts for Jessa. Way to continuously rain on your sister's day, Jill. What, you couldn't have waited until November 15? I'm actually starting to think that Jill is rather unkind.

What's up with that? Is Jill getting revenge for Jessa being considered the pretty daughter all those years? There was certainly no need to do a registry right this second, especially considering she's not due for another six months. Jill has rained on Jessa's parade way too many times now for me to think this is purely coincidence.

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Bajovane

Bajovane

What's up with that? Is Jill getting revenge for Jessa being considered the pretty daughter all those years? There was certainly no need to do a registry right this second, especially considering she's not due for another six months. Jill has rained on Jessa's parade way too many times now for me to think this is purely coincidence.

THIS.  I totally agree.  Time and time again, Jill has managed to worm her way into the spotlight when it seemed that Jessa was to have it to herself.  Makes me wonder how their relationship really is.  They won't show it on tv (or on social media) but I'd love to be a fly on the wall after the cameras are put away.

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wanderwoman

wanderwoman

(edited)

I've been thinking about the registry this afternoon. Here's where I fall on the debate:

I think every young couple, having their first child, deserves to enjoy the experiences that come with having a new baby. So, I don't begrudge them an early announcement, or a registry, or even the complete naivete that they show with their registry. When your whole life's goal is tied to fertility, what other response would you expect?

But, these are people who have been incredibly lucky and blessed. Jill, if not Derek, has been very well taken care of for the last ten years. She's had freebies and promotional products thrown at her as a minor celebrity. Rumor has it that they received thousands of gifts for their recent wedding. I wouldn't be surprised if it just didn't occur to Jill that promoting her registry publicly is incredibly gauche.

Reality stars live in a non-realistic state of entitlement. Things that happen to millions of people every day are paraded around as huge STORY POINTS. They have magazines and reporters watching every move they make, just waiting to go e them stuff. And, unfortunately, I have to imagine that a vast majority of the gifts and freebies are given with an expectation of product placement, public acknowledgement, or even a note from "the famous Jill" herself. There will be people sending Jill more expensive gifts than they give to , their own flesh and blood because people want to be, however peripherally, part of their story. All the fans sending gifts will, no doubt, watch the show closely for the next few years hoping to see their gift on camera. They'll rush to facebook and forums telling all the other leg bumpers how, for a millisecond, their gift was on camera. It's really quite pathetic all around.

I'm disappointed in Jill and Derek for following the lead of Jim Bob/Michelle and Josh/Anna. Infants don't have a voice. There's nothing wonderful about the fact that Jackson, JoHannah, Jordyn, Jennifer, Josie, Marcus, Michael, and McKenzie have had every moment of their lives documented and dissected by the general public. No one asked them if it was okay to profit off their childhood. That's eight children who have had anything but a normal childhood and have probably been spank bank material for pedophiles simply because there parents decided that that risk was worth cash and freebies. As I typed this, I have the "Josh and Anna move to DC" episode on in the background and Josh said, "we're doing this for the children." Ironic, huh?

Edited by wanderwoman
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GEML

GEML

I'm having these terrible ideas that yes, indeed, Jill wants to be like her mother in EVERY way, including making sure she is the most important person in the room when the Duggar children are being discussed. We've always noticed her self-righteous need to correct her siblings, but maybe that was just a cry to make sure people paid attention to HER.

Over and over what keeps jumping out at me in all of the children's stories is this almost desperate need to be an individual. Not surprising, and they certainly are trying to do it within the confines of their parents' love, but they are begging for it nonetheless.

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fliptopbox

fliptopbox

I'm not sure if this is the right thread for this, but maybe. I have to wonder if Michelle or anyone discussed sex with Jill at all prior to her marriage to Derrick. Like, how it works and what to expect....just the basics and not even freaky shit. I mean she's pregnant now so they obviously figured it out. But it does make me wonder exactly how well prepared these Duggar girls are for an eternity of pleasing their husbands.

kalamac

kalamac

I've wondered that myself. A friend of my mother's came from a very repressed family, and she said the reason she made sure her daughters got proper sex ed, was that her 'talk' was on the day of her wedding (at age 17) and was basically: "are you a virgin?" "yes" "good." She had no idea of what was actually supposed to happen until it was explained to her by her husband.

Although with that many siblings, and J&M, pawing at each other all the time, Jill may have at least had some idea of what went where, prior to the marriage.

Dejana

Dejana

Jill was studying to be a midwife and before that, the girls were tracking Michelle's cycle, so you would hope that Jilly wouldn't have been fooled by any "God plants a seed inside of the mother" line of BS by the time it was her wedding day. Didn't Jim-Bob demonstrate with Legos for Josh, before his wedding? IIRC he also told him in a very vague, roundabout way that things might take longer for a woman and to be considerate of that. And there was an audiobook. Jim-Bob seems like a somewhat more thoughtful parent than Michelle, though. I'm picturing Michelle trying to talk to someone about sex in that high-pitched, giggly baby voice and...ugh. I'm imagining a talk along the lines that men have needs and it's your wifely duty to fulfill them, no matter how tired you are, lest he stray.

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Turquoise

Turquoise

McManda, on 16 Sept 2014 - 6:42 PM, said:

 

Jill is calling the baby "Baby Dilly", I think. "Baby Dill Pickle" is a name that originated here, I'm pretty sure. (Sorry I can't give credit where it's due - I have no idea who first came up with it!)

 

Aww, 13-year old Jilly is so silly! 

 

I think I just threw up in my mouth . . . 

Granted, there's a lot of things to snark on with this show, but I don't fault Jill for finding a nickname. I personally don't like referring to a baby as "it". We are expecting our third grandbaby in Feb (my son's first), and I christened him/her Butterbean, more often Bean, very early on. Even after we find out the gender and a name is chosen, I'm sure this child will always be my little Bean. Nicknames have always been a sign of affection in my family, perhaps they are in Derrick's as well. We know Michelle had nicknames for Jill, Jessa, and Josie at least.

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Katydid

Katydid

(edited)

Yet another People article, and they address the Dr. Pepper...

http://www.people.com/article/jill-duggar-derick-dillard-pregnancy-preparations

I'm a little confused about Jill talking about getting gender neutral items because there were several pink things on the registry (even the car seat, IIRC, and that's the 1 item that many folks want to be gender neutral if they're planning on more kids).

I mean, I guess I understand things being put on it as a joke. I remember a friend putting a pack of diapers on a wedding registry as a joke, but it was only 1 item and the rest were appropriate. I think the part about the registry that bugs me is just the publicity of it. Now they are on People talking about it, so even more people will send them stuff. But sometimes I wonder if they are just that naive that they don't realize how it looks.

Edited by Katydid
trimthatfat

trimthatfat

I just find it so odd that they would publicize where they are registered. If someone just so happen to search for their registry, that's one thing, but posting an IG pic that specifies where they are registered and that People article is just tacky to me. Oh well. I'm sure they will receive an abundance of gifts from fans and that's what they ultimately want.

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galax-arena

galax-arena

(edited)
But I think the negative comments to them is over the line.

Meh, they put themselves out there for public scrutiny with the show and the public registry, so I don't think the negative comments are out of line at all, unless people are sending death threats or telling them to DIAF. 

 

You can't become a public figure - certainly not to the extent the Duggars have done - and expect only positivity. 

 

That said, I'd rather judge Jill and Derick on their horrible soda choices. Dr. Pepper is awful. 

Edited by galax-arena
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ramble

ramble

(edited)

From the People article:

"We are planning on keeping the baby with us the first few weeks," she says. "We are still trying to decide about whether or not we'll do sleep training, but we will transition the baby into their own room eventually."

I get the heebie-jeebies hearing the word training come out of a Duggar's mouth in relation to a baby. (Duggar, Dillard, I'm not sure there's much difference.) They'll keep the baby with them for the first few weeks? I guess after that it's time to start trying for the next blessing. Bye bye baby #1, your special time is over.

ETA:

That said, I'd rather judge Jill and Derick on their horrible soda choices. Dr. Pepper is awful.

I love me some Diet Dr. Pepper so I won't snark on that, but shouldn't they be registering for Dr. Thunder so they can save the difference? Edited by ramble
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Portia

Portia

Their reasoning for including sodas on the registry is just plain stupid. They're going to have to turn on a light when they get up with the baby at night, so should they register for light bulbs, too? 

 

 

"We are planning on keeping the baby with us the first few weeks," she says. "We are still trying to decide about whether or not we'll do sleep training, but we will transition the baby into their own room eventually."

 

I get the heebie-jeebies hearing the word training come out of a Duggar's mouth in relation to a baby. 

I get the heebie-jeebies hearing her use the plural pronoun "their" paired with the singular noun "baby."

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galax-arena

galax-arena

(edited)
I get the heebie-jeebies hearing her use the plural pronoun "their" paired with the singular noun "baby."

I don’t really mind that so much. Descriptively speaking, “their” has for quite a while been used for the gender-neutral singular, as English lacks a true gender-neutral singular pronoun and it can be cumbersome to constantly say “his or her.” I myself use “their” and “them” if the gender isn’t specific/defined. Not gonna lie, I'm not really a huge fan of it, but I prefer it to “his/her" or "s/he" at least. It's a necessary evil, heh. 

 

I just googled because I have no life, and there’s even a Wiki page for it, lmao. Looks like it's definitely still controversial. 

Edited by galax-arena
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Libby96

Libby96

The whole "sleep training" thing might come from a book called "On Becoming Baby Wise" which was written by a guy named Gary Ezzo and was very popular in the 90's. Basically it tells you that babies are using their selfish sin nature when they cry and are trying to manipulate you. Therefore, you need to put your baby on a strict eat, play, sleep schedule from the moment of birth. He says NEVER rock your baby to sleep or let them nurse until they doze off. ALWAYS put them in the crib (in their own room) drowsy but awake.

No, he is not a medical doctor. Yes, some babies have become dehydrated and malnourished on this plan because tiny newborns NEED to be fed on demand. And while I do see value in helping an older baby learning to settle themselves to sleep, you are pushing an infant to do something they are not developmentally ready to do if you try to schedule everything from day one.

Sorry for the rant. This just bugs me because when I was a young mom, this was one of the books that was trendy in Christian circles. I didn't start putting my baby down awake until they were bigger and guess what? Like all kids they learned to sleep through the night.

I hope Jill uses some of her midwifery knowledge and feeds her little one on demand the first few months. And if you don't spend some time cuddling your sleeping baby, you are missing out.

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maraleia

maraleia

Portia- It's becoming a common thing to say their or they or them when referring to a person to whom the gender is unknown. So Jill and Derick are following the current trends there.

As for the registry, it's just ridiculous. Jill should've already graduated from college and should be working as a nurse or elementary school teacher not waiting for baby number one.

Portia

Portia

I don’t really mind that so much. Descriptively speaking, “their” has for quite a while been used for the gender-neutral singular, as English lacks a true gender-neutral singular pronoun and it can be cumbersome to constantly say “his or her.” I myself use “their” and “them” if the gender isn’t specific/defined. Not gonna lie, I'm not really a huge fan of it, but I prefer it to “his/her" or "s/he" at least. It's a necessary evil, heh. 

Portia- It's becoming a common thing to say their or they or them when referring to a person to whom the gender is unknown. So Jill and Derick are following the current trends there.

I'm well aware that it's common for the plural pronoun to be used with a singular noun when the gender is unknown. And what I tell my English composition students is that it's lazy writing and can nearly always be avoided with a simple rewrite that does NOT require the clumsy "he/she." (It has become a common thing for people to write "u" instead of "you," too, but that doesn't mean I'm going to accept it in formal writing.) Jill was probably speaking, so I should cut her a bit of slack, but I am crabby because of her weak explanation of the Dr. Pepper thing! ;-) 

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galax-arena

galax-arena

(edited)
Jill was probably speaking, so I should cut her a bit of slack,

LOL yeah, that's where I was coming from, because I just figured she was speaking colloquially. I don't really use "their" or "them" in formal writing if I can help it, either. I think eventually it's going to become universally accepted, though, which wouldn’t bother me because I think singular gender-neutral pronouns are useful, and until English wants to cough up an alternative, it’ll have to do. I guess people are trying to make "zie" and "hir" happen, but... I don't know... 

Edited by galax-arena
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