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Jill, Derick & the Kids: Moving On!!


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12 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

Jill does like the rugged look on Derick. When they met, JB & Derick went for a shave and Jill said she was disappointed that he shaved. With that said, I would think facial hair would be hot, especially like the mountain man beard Derick had during the last episode.

And if I remember correctly Ben, Josh, and a couple of the J-boys sported facial hair soon after they all met Derick.

I guess this is what the Duggars fear, you know, that slippery slope and all. What's next, a sister with shoulder length hair? Egads.

I think if the "headship" wins in the direction of the raising, Izzy will be all right.  At least the Dillards have heard of real college.  

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13 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

Jill does like the rugged look on Derick. When they met, JB & Derick went for a shave and Jill said she was disappointed that he shaved. With that said, I would think facial hair would be hot, especially like the mountain man beard Derick had during the last episode.

And if I remember correctly Ben, Josh, and a couple of the J-boys sported facial hair soon after they all met Derick.

I guess this is what the Duggars fear, you know, that slippery slope and all. What's next, a sister with shoulder length hair? Egads.

Maybe Jill will end up being that Duggar sister. She'll wake up one day, it's hot and humid, and all that hair is sitting uncomfortably against her sweaty neck, until finally she just can't take it anymore, grabs a pair of scissors and next thing you know, she's got home-done pixie cut.

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1 minute ago, kalamac said:

Maybe Jill will end up being that Duggar sister. She'll wake up one day, it's hot and humid, and all that hair is sitting uncomfortably against her sweaty neck, until finally she just can't take it anymore, grabs a pair of scissors and next thing you know, she's got home-done pixie cut.

Or she throws caution to the wind and stops shaving her legs and pits and dreads her hair.

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3 hours ago, Jynnan tonnix said:

How great would it be if, after all their missionary work and trying to convert the heathens, THEY were the ones who ended up "converted"? :)

I'm sure that thought sometimes keeps JB awake at night.  In fact, I have no doubt that if JB didn't have the Josh situation and the show to occupy him, he'd have already figured out a way to get Jill right back home again.

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3 hours ago, Micks Picks said:

It is driving me nuts that I can't locate the mothers day vid from Derrick to ma dug gar.  Would somebody be a love and tell me where to find it.  I'd love to hear him.

Page 300 and 301

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The thing is, it's virtually never a matter of just suddenly changing everything and running a million miles away. Nobody can really do that. People who seem to have done it have in fact been gradually working their way away from a situation mentally for years or even decades. And while it may look as if they've just suddenly seen the light one day and run, the "sudden" part is just the tip of a big unseen iceberg that happened inside them, sometimes without any external signs at all. I don't think it's possible for the human mind to just suddenly grasp something and instantly rebel in a big way.

If the Dillard iceberg is slowly slowly slowly drifting away from the Duggar landmass (okay, mixing metaphors here...), then it's all to the good because that's how change can start. If Jilly Muffin cuts eight inches off her hair because it's hot outside, then that would be a real victory, even if it would seem like nothing to most people. Some of Duggardom's grip on her mind -- of which she's been literally unconscious up to now because that's how brainwashing works -- would be broken. A new piece of information would have displaced a rule she's slavishly and unconsciously followed to the degree that she couldn't even imagine behaving differently before the heat gave her a push. A this-hair-doesn't-work-in-this-heat serious trim could someday lead to Izzy getting a college education and dating girls who are feminists. Really.

Embrace the Dillard fashion changes and keep hope alive.

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(edited)

Much has been made of Jill's messy house, including her suffering from depression, heat exhaustion or just plain laziness. A thought occurred to me. Maybe Jill keeps a messy house because she CAN.

As someone who grew up with a domineering father & an OCD mother, I reveled in having my first place to do whatever, whenever I wanted. It was mine & if I wanted to leave things on  the counter or throw stuff on the floor I could. I didn't have to answer to anyone.

Yes, this type of behavior is somewhat juvenile, but look who we're talking about. Derick did say that early in their marriage Jill would bring her food in the bathroom to eat, presumably to protect it or get some much needed privacy a house w/20 other people. Maybe controlling her environment is Muffy's way of rebeling.

Edited by lulu69
auto correct error
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(edited)
2 hours ago, lulu69 said:

Yes, this type of behavior is somewhat juvenile, but look who we're talking about. Derick did say that early in their marriage Jill would bring her food in the bathroom to eat, presumably to protect it or get some much needed privacy a house w/20 other people. Maybe controlling her environment is Muffy's way of rebeling.

I think Jill mentioned that in a TH. She said when she was little she used to eat in the bathroom so her siblings wouldn't take her food. It must've been straight up Lord of the Flies in that house until the TLC gravy train pulled in.

I agree that it's entirely possible the messy house is Jill's way of abandoning the goody two-shoes role she played for 20+ years. I often forget that Jill (along with Jana) was the family workhorse while Jessa did jack shit and Jinger hid in the laundry room. Back in those early days, Michelle still gave a fuck about putting on a "perfect family" front, so a lot was demanded of Jill. If it is in fact a case of rebellion, I hope it continues. Mainly because I want to see Boob's head explode.

Edited by BitterApple
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Jill apparently followed up the video with a written ode to Mechelle on the Dullard blog. I refuse to patronize it, since we all know it's monetized, but I'm sure all of those tired platitudes are contained therein. 

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(edited)
7 hours ago, lulu69 said:

Much has been made of Jill's messy house, including her suffering from depression, heat exhaustion or just plain laziness. A thought occurred to me. Maybe Jill keeps a messy house because she CAN.

As someone who grew up with a domineering father & an OCD mother, I reveled in having my first place to do whatever, whenever I wanted. It was mine & if I wanted to leave things on  the counter or throw stuff on the floor I could. I didn't have to answer to anyone.

Yes, this type of behavior is somewhat juvenile, but look who we're talking about. Derick did say that early in their marriage Jill would bring her food in the bathroom to eat, presumably to protect it or get some much needed privacy a house w/20 other people. Maybe controlling her environment is Muffy's way of rebeling.

No one's really sure why Jill keeps a messy house, other than she could very well be suffering from depression or rebelling against her upbringing.  Between growing up Duggar, and having to defend her molester on national television, and have her courtship and wedding and pregnancy all play out in public, I'm sure she's probably got more than a few issues she'll need to address, but she won't be allowed to, nor would she seek out the care she really might need, because....cult....Jeebus.  I'm sure if she's read any of the posts, she knows most of them are less than flattering about her and her family.  I wouldn't like to read nasty snarky things about me and my family 24/7.  I really don't think that they would have received so much of the snark had they not put themselves above others and then had such a public fall from grace.  I find Jilly Muffin far less offensive to me than Jessa, whose personality was described by one poster as "a piranha with hemorrhoids". 

I imagine she's got little to do if the heat keeps her indoors, and when she's not clung to Derick like a barnacle, what else does she do all day?  I can't imagine her daily routine consists of all that much now that she doesn't have "jurisdictions" along with her other 18 siblings. Growing up in a super sized family isn't a normal experience for most of us, by any means, let alone an uber conservative notorious super sized family.  After running around after 20 people all day, I would imagine she's done with her chores in a relatively short amount of time.

I think marriage was a huge adjustment for her  because it's the first time she's been away from her parents and the first time she actually has things that are her own that she doesn't have to share with her sisters.  She's idle and clingy and has a limited view of the world due to her upbringing.  She was raised all her life that men provide and wives stay at home, so she's never really gone after anything since she knew she wouldn't be allowed.  I'm sure Derick has had a more "modern" upbringing and ideas and he doesn't subscribe to this patriarchal thing to the point that he'd keep her down from realizing her dreams.  I just hope that if she really is suffering from depression that she actually gets the help she needs.  I'm sure that her MIL would recognize the signs and try to make sure she got help as well.  Like many people from the Eastern Bloc who grew up under repressive regimes, years after they were free, people still looked over their shoulders in fear that the Secret Police were watching them.  I'm sure for Jilly Muffin it's no different. 

Have to say I really like the stoner look that Derick has these days.  I can imagine Boob's head is exploding seeing Derick look like that.  Maybe that's the best they can do for a FU to Boob's idea of  'The Fundy Uniform"...because passive aggressive.  Small steps, small steps...

Yay! Finally glad to be back...PTV took forever to send me a password reset response after the upgrade.

Edited by Arwen Evenstar
clarification
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I'm loving the stoner look as well. It's just so anti-Duggar. Now that Derick has trimmed the caveman beard down into a light scruff, he looks kind of cute. He reminds me of those slackers in college who always had the good weed connects.

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I'm not giving Jilly a pass regarding being a slob.  Her parents house is an unsanitary mess & so is her house.  The sloppy apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

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3 minutes ago, ariel said:

I'm not giving Jilly a pass regarding being a slob.  Her parents house is an unsanitary mess & so is her house.  The sloppy apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

No, I'm not either.  The stringy hair, the dirty bare feet....and we all cringe to imagine what sort of a Petri dish the TTH actually is. Yeah, they are gross.  So much for that Christian adage of cleanliness  being next to godliness...I guess they missed that one...or it wasn't in the Wisdumb Booklets....

 

It looks like the Duggar family just gave up from sheer exhaustion of raising that many kids....the Howlers and Lost Girls are left to fend for themselves now that the JSlaves are now burned out and Boob and Mattress no longer bother to clean house or home school.  Food comes in packages and cans and is at best reheated, if they feel energetic enough to bother to do so.

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The barefoot thing doesn't get to me because so many people have so many different rules.  The neighbors have flip flops by their front door that they use, no shoes inside apparently.  Others are bare feet or socks inside.  So I don't know.  I guess it is custom, ideas of germs and finicky things in general,  They don't make you, a visitor, take off their shoes but probably lysol the heck out of wherever you walked as soon as you leave.

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I think the messy house is because Jill is a lazy housekeeper. Maybe she doesn't give a fuck. Not everyone does. They don't put the dishes away, but it doesn't mean the place isn't clean. I'm not so sure Derrick is creating his own style to fu JB, I feel like it's to satisfy his own current taste in fashion. Kudos to him for ridding himself of that stupid JB bowl cut that both D and Bin sported for a while. If they would stop grifting and live in a VW van while making macrame bracelets I would start to like them. dammit. 

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Quote

The barefoot thing doesn't get to me because so many people have so many different rules.  The neighbors have flip flops by their front door that they use, no shoes inside apparently.  Others are bare feet or socks inside.

Yeah, I've never quite understood the outrage about the Duggars' bare feet indoors. Being Swedish, I find wearing shoes indoors to be way weirder. Like, why would one want to drag in all sorts of crap from outside into one's home? Most everyone here just wears socks or slippers indoors and in the summer barefoot is the way to go.

Though now when I think about it, with the Duggars, it's really only the girls who go barefoot indoors. The boys wear outdoor shoes. Indoors. Where other people walk barefoot. ...ew. I hope they wash their feet before bedtime.

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OMG!  You are right!  I also had a very domineering dad and OCD mom who cleaned incessantly, even with 5 kids. When I first got my own place, I was horribly messy. Eventually, I learned about flylady.net and became OCD like my mom!

BUT, if TLC came with cameras, I would have had everything spotless!

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As I have mentioned before I spent most of my childhood barefoot or in flip-flops during the summer months. But we did practice foot hygiene. We wouldn't put our dirty feet into clean socks and shoes. We never walked on counter tops - period. We went to bed with (relatively) clean feet.

For me the Duggar feet skeeve me out in addition to their seemingly lack of good personal hygiene.

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1 hour ago, louannems said:

OMG!  You are right!  I also had a very domineering dad and OCD mom who cleaned incessantly, even with 5 kids. When I first got my own place, I was horribly messy. Eventually, I learned about flylady.net and became OCD like my mom!

BUT, if TLC came with cameras, I would have had everything spotless!

Yeah, I could say I had the same experience with my mom....even though I'm 50 and I once borrowed a rom in her house to sort some papers..she couldn't stand the whole process even though I didn't leave one scrap behind..,it was like she was going to hyperventilate.   So yeah, I'm an untidy beggar because I grew up with a neurotic person standing over me while I tried to do anything to the point I couldn't even think straight.

Other than that quirk in her personality...she's awesome..

And we always were barefoot or in slippers and socks but moms floor was always clean enough to eat off...I don't think one can say that about The Duggarplex.

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(edited)
56 minutes ago, GeeGolly said:

As I have mentioned before I spent most of my childhood barefoot or in flip-flops during the summer months. But we did practice foot hygiene. We wouldn't put our dirty feet into clean socks and shoes. We never walked on counter tops - period. We went to bed with (relatively) clean feet.

For me the Duggar feet skeeve me out in addition to their seemingly lack of good personal hygiene.

That's the issue for me, too. I prefer to go barefoot (although I'm wearing socks right now), and have my entire life. I am not, however, filthy. 

There are so many differences to the Duggars, though. My mother wouldn't have allowed my to walk on the kitchen counters because it was a food preparation area. There really is no "food preparation area" in the Duggar household. We have all commented many times that they seldom prepare family meals, and the kids more or less forage for food when they're hungry.

My mother would't have allowed me to get between clean sheets with dirty feet, but that just doesn't apply to them either. There are no sheets, and the kids sleep in their clothes. That was all part of the ritual of "bed-time" when I was a child: bath, pajamas, clean sheets, and a bed-time story. None of those things apply in that household.

We know that they know enough about these boards to create all sorts of FU internet moments, but they just don't seem to see any problem with this.

ETA: I went to write something in the Jill/Derick thread and saw that this post was the last one here. I apologize for drifting off topic from Jill keeps a filthy house to the TTH is filthy and the Duggar children are filthy. While I think that Jill's housekeeping skills are pretty poor, Izzy does, at at least appear to be clean and well cared for at this point.

Edited by cmr2014
Wrong Forum
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(edited)

 I guess for most of us, when it comes to  basic hygiene, we do things a little different than the Duggars. ;)

Edited by ariel
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Someone posted a link in another thread to this article:

http://fiddlrts.blogspot.com/2015/05/the-duggars-how-fundamentalisms.html

The article is about Josh, but links to a series of articles on "Modesty Culture." They are all worth reading, and I would highly recomment them. One of the articles got me thinking about Jill in Danger America.

I continue to have hope that living far away from the TTH will be good for Jill, and I think it would be a wonderful experience for her to make some actual friends, but I wonder if that is really possible. I don't think the language barrier will be a problem, but she has been raised her entire life to beieve that she is better than other people. She and Derick are two dumb-ass twenty-something priveleged white Americans who believe that they are somehow "helping" grown adults by putting on plays about Jesus. It is my hope that some of the women there will take pity on her and befriend her anyway, but I wonder if she will be able to open herself up to friendship.

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Izzy is a cutie and I know it's not his fault, but he looks so filthy. Even the chair looks like it needs to be wiped down. I also hope they're slathering that kid up in bug repellant and sunscreen because that's an awful lot of exposed skin.

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Izzy is far too old for a Bumbo and especially one used improperly.  Bumbo is intended for just about to sit up on their own infants.  It is not intended to be a booster seat or high chair replacement.

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These people and those freaking chairs.  Didn't Josh have one of his various offspring sitting in one on a freaking tabletop while they ate dinner?  Seriously, I own no children of my own and generally don't like babies, but even *I* know that thing is a developmental and physical disaster waiting to happen. 

And good God, that child looks like he needs to be soaked in a nice, soapy bath.  He looks grimy, and is it any wonder?  I bet he's naked or half naked a good bit of his life.

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How old is he? 

Maybe it's the perspective but he looks huuuuge. And really dirty. 

His head looks bigger than Mechelle's.

Guess they got no skeeters thereabouts...

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3 hours ago, Marigny said:

Looking at that picture of Izzy is making me want to hop in the shower. Poor little dude. 

The biggest problem with this picture (for me) is one of composition. If you crop out Izzy's dirty legs, the weird chair, and the inexplicable bit of wall the photographer chose to include, it's a nice enough picture and you can see that Izzy is, much to my suprise, very much the image of his grandmother, J'chelle. He has her eyes, her mouth, and her chin. Good for you, Izzy. J'chelle is an awful person, but she's attractive and given the genetic hand you were dealt, you are lucky.

pic.jpg

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7 hours ago, Almost 3000 said:

Its a Bumbo floor chair:

http://www.amazon.com/Bumbo-B10056-Floor-Seat-Blue/dp/B0092NNQ98?ie=UTF8&keywords=baby%20chair&qid=1463071199&ref_=sr_1_3_a_it&sr=8-3

Edited to note its to be used on floor and not a raised surface like a plastic chair plus its has a recommended waist restraint which of course isn't being used. Its also noted to be easily cleanable...

Thanks...I thought it might have been a Bumbo seat...

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Looks like the poor kid got Derick's long spindly arms, someone else's (Jill's? I don't think I've seen her legs) legs and Gigantor's head.

Maybe it's the some kind of odd camera-lens focal length? 

Maybe that ill-sized bumbo is constricting his legs and they're swollen?

Maybe I need to stop looking at this picture? 

(dude needs a bath.)

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Just now, ingenting said:

How do they get Izzy's legs in and out of the chair?

I think they force his legs in, and since he can't get them out on his own they can leave him alone for long periods.  He's, in essence, trapped in it.

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4 minutes ago, Fosca said:

I think they force his legs in, and since he can't get them out on his own they can leave him alone for long periods.  He's, in essence, trapped in it.

I guess that's their version of blanket training.

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This picture, and the wrapped-up-Izzy picture, remind me of the time Jill said something to the effect of, "When Izzy is born I hope to raise him with the same character qualities as my siblings, I mean my older siblings, because the young ones don't have them ...uhm, yet."

Both the pictures and that statement make me shudder.

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