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Celebrating 25 Years Of The West Wing

Jill, Derick & the Kids: Moving On!!

Chris Knight

By Chris Knight
in Counting On

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Shout out to everyone participating in the conversation about Jill’s miscarriage/stillbirth. You’re navigating a difficult topic with respect and thoughtfulness and your contributions are kind, considerate, constructive and informative. 

Thank you. 💚💚

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auntieminem

auntieminem

The use of the word "home" as well as "extended family" stuck out to me.   Even though they are making trips back to the states it does seem like they are distancing and creating their own family unit.  It was nice to see Joy look so happy, I am sure she misses Jill a lot and it has to be great for her to be away from the chaos created by Josh.  Too bad she can't stay with them longer.   

 

I am not the keen on the type of mission they seem to be doing but am encouraged to see they have done some construction as well.  Hopefully as they are more established they will do more to actually help people with their physical needs.  This is a good thing for Dillards, I hope they mature and open their minds to things beyond the Duggar indoctrination.  I am not being Pollyanna but I do believe in people's ability to grow and change when they are exposed to more things in the world.  

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mynextmistake
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3 is enough

3 is enough

(edited)

I am very "encouraged" that Jill referred to the Duggars as her extended family.  It seems her priorities are with Derick and Israel, as they should be.

 

Judging from the pictures they seem to have a pretty decent house- maybe they really are planning a long term stay.

 

I thought Derick fell into the Duggar trap hook, line, and sinker after the wedding, but now I am wondering if he was just biding his time and laying the groundwork to take Jill far, far, away as soon as he could manage it.  Still baffled by the purpose of missionaries in an overwhelming Catholic country, but if it lets them escape from Jim Bob's clutches I am on board.

 

I can't really blame Jill for her poor grammar.  Her teacher was Michelle, after all.

 

ETA:  That donate button on their website really pisses me off.

Edited by 3 is enough
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CofCinci

CofCinci

I'm actually impressed that Jill is learning Spanish. She barely learned English, so I can't imagine how difficult it's been for her. Kudos to her for trying something new.

How else will she be able to communicate with the maid/exploited local to make sure to get all of Mr.Derick's mustache hairs out of the sink when cleaning the bathroom?
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kandinski

kandinski

Is anybody fooled by this missionary crap?They sit in an air conditoned room,a maid brings clean sheets,the room is laden with phones lap tops etc to pass the time.

 

I imagine they wander round the streets for a few hours looking down on the "peasants",dearestJill and her sister(jessa) have that shit smeared under the nose look down to a tee!

 

Looking on Pickles and Hairspray Im disgusted to see the baby jammed into that stupid carry sack she insists on forcing him into.As for Derrick "the man of a thousand faces",I think he is easily as bad as ben.Who on planet earth would make a decision to track down Jim Bob Duggar and ask him to be your prayer partner?

 

He was just a lot less obvious about hitching into Duggarworld...

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kokapetl

kokapetl

(edited)

They still only say they're in "Central America", but they posted photos of themselves in front of the Santa Catalina Arch, a landmark in Antigua Guatemala, a touristy place. It took me 5 seconds to a search for "clock arch Guatemala" and pinpoint that location.

I see their accommodation has a niche in the wall. Instead of a religious statue, they put a laptop there.

Edited by Kokapetl
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BucFan

BucFan

Who on planet earth would make a decision to track down Jim Bob Duggar and ask him to be your prayer partner?

 

 

Derick has 'prayer partners' for this mission too. It's fundie speak for 'financial backers'

Would Jim Bob really give any $$$ to somebody else?
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Churchhoney

Churchhoney

(edited)

Not very, IMO.  Especially because "best friend" isn't a title that can only be given to one person.

Lots of people maintain friendships when people move or friends who they see once a year at camp but have deep distance friendships with.  My best friend when I was growing up moved when we were in 4th grade, and we kept in touch the entire time through college. I would have called her my best friend.   That was before the internet. It's easier now.

 

Well, I hope that's true, But Carlin Bates never lived near Joy and then moved. They've never lived closer than hundreds of miles ever. And it looks to me as if, when they've met, it's only been at big family gatherings or big Gothard events, usually with whole families present -- not as individual kids bonding at a camp or some place where kids can be individuals and have some autonomy.

 

I'm suspicious because my own background acquainted me with how some narcissistic control-freak families operate when it comes to isolating their children. I grew up in one of these highly controlling, isolating families. And I was permitted to have no actual friends, to go nowhere where I would make actual friends, and to have no significant communications, long distance or otherwise. Isolation is key for an awful lot of controlling people. At the same time, my family, throughout my life and to this day, talks about friends and "best friends" that I supposedly had as a child and a teenager. Their hope, clearly, has been to make me and everyone else think that some vague acquaintances I had through school, church and family were my "friends," since they knew I realized that kids had friends and they knew that it was important to try to look normal to the rest of the world. They weren't going to risk having any outside influences developing or having the captives exchange any information with the outside world, but they wanted it to look as if they did. Maybe the Duggars aren't this way, but it wouldn't surprise me at all if they are. And if they are, it's another thing they do that cripples their kids in ways that those kids won't understand for a long time but will feel the effects of pretty badly.

Edited by Churchhoney
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sometimesy

sometimesy

I see the Dillards seem to be enduring major hardships whilst "overseas" on their poverty tour, er, mission trip. Wouldn't it be more prudent and cost effective to learn Spanish before heading to the mission field? Oh wait, that requires common sense.

 

Especially since they had always planned on taking a missionary position. (couldn't help myself)

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Churchhoney

Churchhoney

(edited)

I think it might be kind of nice for Jill to get to know other people, like her husband and her son, as fellow human beings and not obligations.

 

I don't think she's ever seen a model of people having a relationship just between fellow human beings, come to think of it. Maybe some of the siblings have that kind with each other, but I suspect that, if they do, they keep it on the qt.

 

I'm remembering the time that Michelle said that Jim Bob is her buddy. When you first hear that, you think of buddy as pal or friend or "closest person to me in this group," but then you think of the Duggar interpretation -- and it turns out that it's actually "somebody you've got a series of responsibilities for." Jill and the rest of them have been taught to view everyone as a responsibility and/or an overseer and/or a person filling some God-assigned role such as headship or stay-at-home-daughter or whatever. You have to look at people as individuals to have a real relationship, and it's going to be a long road for some Duggars to re-envision the world in that way, I expect. They just haven't seen it happen.

 

Takes me back to my reaction to the idea that Joy has a "best friend." When kids grow up without seeing real relationships between individuals play out, there's a big danger that they'll spend many years or maybe whole lives being a lot like badly socialized dogs. When you haven't seen any genuine individual relationships, you don't know what they are, you don't know you aren't having them, and you don't know how to conduct them, initiate them or act within them. I expect Jill's got this problem in spades.

Edited by Churchhoney
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TaxNerd

TaxNerd

I don't see Derick as someone who expects Jill to wait on him hand and foot. He seems like he wants a real partner, not someone who makes him breakfast while she is in labor.

I don't buy their mission either, but I don't really care. If people want to send them money, not my problem. People spend their money on a lot worse (a certain cheating website comes to mind), and at least they are pumping money into the local economy.

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CofCinci

CofCinci

I don't see Derick as someone who expects Jill to wait on him hand and foot. He seems like he wants a real partner, not someone who makes him breakfast while she is in labor.

She practically baby-birded his lunch to him in the Walmart parking lot every day.  Dude married someone with a "servant's heart" because he wanted a servant, not a partner.

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cmr2014

cmr2014

My younger sister, Joy, and her best friend, Carlin Bates, came home with us! It's been a blast having company and they've been such a great help to us while we bury ourselves in the books! I will not want them to leave after their two week visit! I love having them here for the friendship and Israel certainly loves all the extra attention!

 

 

What stood out to me about this blog post is that it sounds like it comes from a human. What I would have expected is more like:

 

What a blessing that Joy and Caitlin were able to come to visit and fellowship in their love of the Lord! I am so proud that the Lord laid it on their hearts to come and witness for Jesus overseas! They are both so precious! We will have to purpose to get them to the airport on time!

 

I'm sorry to hear that Joy is returning to AR. She has no school, no job, and no friends waiting for her. i was really kind of hoping that she would just stay . . .

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Churchhoney

Churchhoney

What stood out to me about this blog post is that it sounds like it comes from a human. What I would have expected is more like:

 

What a blessing that Joy and Caitlin were able to come to visit and fellowship in their love of the Lord! I am so proud that the Lord laid it on their hearts to come and witness for Jesus overseas! They are both so precious! We will have to purpose to get them to the airport on time!

 

I'm sorry to hear that Joy is returning to AR. She has no school, no job, and no friends waiting for her. i was really kind of hoping that she would just stay . . .

 

I thought the same thing about that post. It seems as if Jill may be making some tiny little moves away from the Duggar mind-warp. After all, her brother is now just a member of her "extended family." Yeah. Extend that distance some more, Jill. Sometimes a little distance and hanging out with somebody like Derick who hasn't lived his whole life in the horrifying Duggar bubble can make a real difference. And it is too bad that Joy's going back to a place where she's mainly viewed as a household appliance. I don't know how those kids can stand it, really.

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CofCinci

CofCinci

What stood out to me about this blog post is that it sounds like it comes from a human. What I would have expected is more like:

What a blessing that Joy and Caitlin were able to come to visit and fellowship in their love of the Lord! I am so proud that the Lord laid it on their hearts to come and witness for Jesus overseas! They are both so precious! We will have to purpose to get them to the airport on time!

I'm sorry to hear that Joy is returning to AR. She has no school, no job, and no friends waiting for her. i was really kind of hoping that she would just stay . . .

How old is she now?
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GeeGolly

GeeGolly

I thought the same thing about that post. It seems as if Jill may be making some tiny little moves away from the Duggar mind-warp. After all, her brother is now just a member of her "extended family." Yeah. Extend that distance some more, Jill. Sometimes a little distance and hanging out with somebody like Derick who hasn't lived his whole life in the horrifying Duggar bubble can make a real difference. And it is too bad that Joy's going back to a place where she's mainly viewed as a household appliance. I don't know how those kids can stand it, really.

The skeptic in me thinks JB might be a part of this. With all to bad press Jessa was receiving for appearing at the convention and then her post directing people to her FIL's rant, I wonder if JB is putting $$ before his own son and is still trying to save the Duggar brand, and having Jill & Jessa publicly distance themselves from Josh. I also wonder if Josh did leave rehab and that is the catalyst of this.

 

And I obviously spend way too much time thinking of all things Duggar.

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Julia

Julia

(edited)

I think if Jim Bob had that kind of control over the Dillards, Josh would have been in their wedding and they'd still be in Arkansas. As it is, he doesn't seem to be able to control the pregnant sister living on his property with an husband who appears to think yelling at people on Instagram is his day job.

Edited by Julia
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Churchhoney

Churchhoney

(edited)

The skeptic in me thinks JB might be a part of this. With all to bad press Jessa was receiving for appearing at the convention and then her post directing people to her FIL's rant, I wonder if JB is putting $$ before his own son and is still trying to save the Duggar brand, and having Jill & Jessa publicly distance themselves from Josh. I also wonder if Josh did leave rehab and that is the catalyst of this.

 

And I obviously spend way too much time thinking of all things Duggar.

 

Well, it's certainly an interesting thought. I tend to think not, but you never can tell with Jim Bob, of course. Scheming is his middle name. Not that he's necessarily very effective at it.

 

Right there with you on spending way too much energy on these horrible people.

I think if Jim Bob had that kind of control over the Dillards, Josh would have been in their wedding and they'd still be in Arkansas. As it is, he doesn't seem to be able to control the pregnant sister living on his property with an husband who appears to think yelling at people on Instragram is his day job.

 

Yeah, see, I thought that was Ben's day job, too. ...

 

Of course, I'm not there at his mailbox when the paycheck doesn't come.

Edited by Churchhoney
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Julia

Julia

Yeah, see, I thought that was Ben's day job, too. ...

 

Of course, I'm not there at his mailbox when the paycheck doesn't come.

 

At least Jill married someone who can broaden her horizons some. Jessa managed to find someone whose mind is even smaller than hers.

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Tabbygirl521

Tabbygirl521

(edited)

If this Quiverfull nonsense is really to create an army for God or whatever, I wonder why they ALL don't have " day jobs" a la Ben. I mean, perish the thought. But that is a whole slew of soldiers who haven't been deployed. Even the little ones could be marching around Tontitown (WTF?) singing •Jesus Loves Me." People might even pay them to stop after awhile.

Sorry, I haven't had my coffee yet.

Edited by Tabbygirl521
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Wellfleet

Wellfleet

The first pic of Izzy is so adorable (with Derrick holding him).  He looks like such a happy baby.  I honesty never remember any of the other Duggar babies looking as happy as Iz.  Goes to show what can happen when you get the hell away from the cult.  

 

http://dillardfamily.com/family-photos

 

If Derrick doesn't watch out, his son will be bigger than him at age 2.  That little booger is a big baby.

 

So true... Israel looks to be at least a year old in that photo where Joy has him in the Snuggli - or whatever they call 'em now. That child has got be in the 99%-ile for height at least.

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BitterApple

BitterApple

The child looks so much like Jim Bob doesnt he?

I feel like I'm in the minority, but IMO Iz is an unfortunate looking baby. Hopefully he'll grow into his features as he gets older.

Regarding "extended family" I think Jill is so uneducated she doesn't know that it refers to aunts, uncles and cousins, not siblings. I'm not so sure she was trying to convey a hidden meaning with her remarks.

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Skittl1321

Skittl1321

(edited)

Regarding "extended family" I think Jill is so uneducated she doesn't know that it refers to aunts, uncles and cousins, not siblings. I'm not so sure she was trying to convey a hidden meaning with her remarks.

I agree with you that she probably wasn't trying to convey hidden meaning, but I disagree it has anything to do with her level of education. I am highly educated.  However, since I got married, my immediate family is my husband (and eventually my children.)  My sister and even my parents are now part of my extended family, which also includes my husband's siblings and his parents- and all the aunts, uncles, cousins, etc.   Marriage changes family dynamic.

 

The actual term is only defined for the meaning it is being used for.  Different entities (work, government, etc) have different definitions.

Edited by Skittl1321
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Churchhoney

Churchhoney

Regarding "extended family" I think Jill is so uneducated she doesn't know that it refers to aunts, uncles and cousins, not siblings. I'm not so sure she was trying to convey a hidden meaning with her remarks.

 

Yeah, you're probably right. It's got three syllables.

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sometimesy

sometimesy

I don't buy their mission either, but I don't really care. If people want to send them money, not my problem. People spend their money on a lot worse (a certain cheating website comes to mind), and at least they are pumping money into the local economy.

 

Even though I am not contributing to Jill and Derrick, it does bother me. If this was Joy or one of the kids who did not have their own specials and magazine covers, or their own bank account, then it would be easier to stomach helping them escape to Central or South America, hell New York! Jill and Derrick had an income from his job, a rent free house, and at least a few magazine covers and episodes to make money. The people who donate aren't likely to be people like me. They may be like the people in this youtube video posted by NoThyme in the Howlers thread.

 

 

There are elderly people, and Christians and people easily scammed by the 'word of the lord' crap They are contributing to people like the Dullards, who should be contributing to others. Now we may see the Dillard pick up a hammer and take a swing at a block of wood for a vine to prove they did something other than try to convert Catholics. They just finished a language course 'overseas', because even though they knew they were going to become missionaries, learning Spanish in the US wasn't practical for them.

In the video, there is one jerk who tells how he needs another plane and he gets money for that. It shows how the religious grifters keep after people once they donate to keep the money rolling in.

JB has land, and I believe he does have money socked away. They paid for very little in the last few years. He owns properties etc. He could easily support the Dillards. Instead, they ask for donations from other people while they squirrel away their own. I am glad Dillards are away from JB, but I do not give them a free pass for using their fans money to do it.

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Julia

Julia

(edited)

Derick wasn't carpet trained. I can't imagine someone who wasn't brutally abused as an infant would allow his own child to be brutally abused. 

 

Besides, you notice the children who are behavior disasters in the Duggar mothership are the ones who came up after DHS came into their lives? I don't think even Michelle blanket trains any more. I also think she has no idea how to discipline a child in any way other than beating them into submission.

Edited by Julia
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kokapetl

kokapetl

(edited)

It's hard for me to look a pictures of a cute baby who is most likely being "blanket trained." How can you beat the curiosity out of something so precious?

Michelle claimed to have blanked trained some of her children, but the results suggest otherwise. The howlers and lost girls do what they want. Jill ain't said jack shit about blanket training, so the likelihood that Jill is blanket training her child is incredibly small. Edited by Kokapetl
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Aw my lahgs

Aw my lahgs

6 weeks? Their "long term" mission was SIX weeks?

What's the plan now? Will Izzy get a job? Because neither Derrick or Jill have one...

I'm sure the plan for it was to be a long term free mission, sponsored by TLC. Me thinks it was the loss of the gravy train that has caused them to cut it short and beg their "fans" for $$$$.

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Clemgo3165

Clemgo3165

Isn't learning Spanish part of the mission? How else will they be able to communicate with the people they'll be serving. I haven't seen anything saying that they're coming home for good, just for the wedding. Have I missed something?

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kokapetl

kokapetl

(edited)

Isn't learning Spanish part of the mission? How else will they be able to communicate with the people they'll be serving. I haven't seen anything saying that they're coming home for good, just for the wedding. Have I missed something?

Well they met Marjorie's family through Spanish language tutoring, so they could easily learn Spanish in America. Plus, although a person can set out on a mission to learn Spanish in Guatemala, it's not really honest to present that as a religious mission thing. Edited by Kokapetl
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