Jill, Derick & the Kids: Moving On!!

[MunichNark]

Agree, she will be quite surprised at real life. She's never experienced that.

If they are indeed moving to Little Rock, it'll be an adjustment. Let's see how it pans out for them.

[Lady Whistleup]

They'll be fine. It will be an adjustment but Derick having a regular job means:

1) regular income 

2) health benefits for his family

3) maybe afford a bigger house

Izzy and Sam will be in school, Jill will have a newborn but she's more mature now. Idg why i wouldn't work out. All things considered they're doing fine.

[ginger90]

2 minutes ago, Lady Whistleup said:

They'll be fine. It will be an adjustment but Derick having a regular job means:

1) regular income 

2) health benefits for his family

3) maybe afford a bigger house

Izzy and Sam will be in school, Jill will have a newborn but she's more mature now. Idg why i wouldn't work out. All things considered they're doing fine.

I think emotionally Jill may not be fine.

[Lady Whistleup]

2 minutes ago, ginger90 said:

I think emotionally Jill may not be fine.

Why wouldn't she be okay? I'm genuinely curious.

[Fig Newton]

Beliefs aside, Jill and Derrick are no different that so many families that have to make choices.

New Home.

New Job.

New Baby.

Not sure what the big deal is, yes.......stressful. Very stressful to move, and start a new job. I've done it. My family did it. My siblings did it. My friends did it. You do what you need to do. 

My mother spent her days at home with her kids. My father was in medical school/residency etc. He wasn't home much, but not because he didn't want to be. He had goals, which included his family. And he provided us with an amazing, amazing life. Yep, my mother stayed home, cared for the kids and the house. And she survived.   We even moved three times, to bigger houses and new neighborhoods and schools. Is it really that our of the ordinary? Was it stressful? Absolutely. Did my mother have days she wanted to pull her hair out......of course. But this is the course of life. We didn't have Jesus and scripture but other than that, we did just like the Dillards.

 

[graybrown bird]

There is also a family dog in the picture ("Fenna"?).  I hope she doesn't get lost in the shuffle -- I think it would be hard for anyone to manage kids, a new baby, a move and a doggie.  Don't know that I could have done it, even while young and energetic.

[hathorlive]

On 4/15/2022 at 8:29 PM, emmawoodhouse said:

He did stick it out at law school. Many figured he'd flame out in a year. 

I think Derrick is just trolling us.  Most people said he'd never finish first year.  Then they said he'd never graduate.  Then they said he'd never pass the bar.  I'm going to help Jill have a great life and predict that Derrick will never hold down a job, make partner and be wealthy.  Because every time we say he won't, he does.   Congrats to Derrick on his new job.  Congrats to Jill on her bun in the oven.  Hopefully Jill's time in the wild will help her cope with a new baby, a husband who works all the time and three kids.  

[Lady Whistleup]

9 minutes ago, graybrown bird said:

There is also a family dog in the picture ("Fenna"?).  I hope she doesn't get lost in the shuffle -- I think it would be hard for anyone to manage kids, a new baby, a move and a doggie.  Don't know that I could have done it, even while young and energetic.

Fenna seems to be a beloved part of the family so I think she'll be fine. She sleeps indoors now. Jill did way better with Fenna than any Duggar has done with a pet. Still pouring one out for poor Brielle and those kittens (Joy).

[hathorlive]

On 4/15/2022 at 8:50 PM, CalicoKitty said:

I think so.  But he took the time and money to complete it, and then not use it.  He does seem to do better being in school.  Hopefully, whatever new job he has will provide structure, but he did not seem to last too long with the structure at Walmart.  I'm sure the filming schedule did not help, and maybe he was asked to leave.  We really don't know.  Maybe he has grown and matured, and he will enjoy his new job.  I guess we will see.

I'm hoping that he's grown and matured, and that Jill has grown as well.  Hopefully she realizes that Derrick needs to work to bring home money and that she can't rely on the family or TV to bring in funds.  If she's occupied with the baby and the boys are in school, she'll have less things to worry about and will be less needy, allowing Derrick to focus on work.  I hope.

[BitterApple]

1 minute ago, Lady Whistleup said:

Fenna seems to be a beloved part of the family so I think she'll be fine. She sleeps indoors now. Jill did way better with Fenna than any Duggar has done with a pet. Still pouring one out for poor Brielle and those kittens (Joy).

Don't forget Jake, Jinger's and Jeremy's cat that got dumped when they moved to L.A.

With regards to Jill, one thing she has going for her is she seems to make friends easily. It also helps that the boys go to real school. She'll have plenty of opportunity to meet and connect with other SAHM's. I think she'll have the normal bumps in the road, but at the end of the day she'll be fine. 

 

[sagittarius sue]

7 minutes ago, BitterApple said:

Don't forget Jake, Jinger's and Jeremy's cat that got dumped when they moved to L.A.

With regards to Jill, one thing she has going for her is she seems to make friends easily. It also helps that the boys go to real school. She'll have plenty of opportunity to meet and connect with other SAHM's. I think she'll have the normal bumps in the road, but at the end of the day she'll be fine. 

 

Also Jill has seen a therapist in the past so she'd probably be willing to see one if necessary.  I'm sure they'll be looking for a new church with the opportunity of new friends and support there.  After the baby comes, I could see Jill joining a "mommy and me" group.

[coconspirator]

1 hour ago, GeeGolly said:

I for sure think the Dillards will be okay, because really what other choice do they have? Its the getting to that okay place I think they will struggle with.

For the first time in Jill's life she will be alone for 40+ hours a week. No Derick, no siblings and for a time, no friends. The birth of baby #3 will be drastically different from her previous births - different providers and no family unless Cathy or Michelle plan to be there.

I just foresee a lot of bumps in the road. Even for emotional support - Derick is likely going to be dealing with new job stress and working a 40 hour week for only the second time in his life - how much of himself will be available to support Jill's neediness?

The next few months would be stressful for anyone, but most have the self-resolve to get through it. Jill has shown time and time again that she needs more support than most. There's nothing wrong with needing support, but as I said above, Jill's not going to have a lot of it available.

In fairness she hasn’t had her siblings around much the past couple of years. She seems to visit more with cousin Amy than Jessa or Jana. And I wouldn’t bet on her moving to, for example, Little Rock, and not knowing anyone. There’s a good chance she’ll have at least one friend or acquaintance in the area just because the Duggars knew so many people during their heyday. But even if she doesn’t, she managed to make friends with her neighbors over the time she’s lived in their current neighborhood and some of those friendships might be close enough that they have “friend weekends” where one or the other visits with their children. Moving is stressful and new scenery will be an adjustment but it’s one she’s successfully made before.

And I also fully expect Cathy to be around frequently to see her grandchildren and provide support. She and Jill appear to be close.

[hathorlive]

6 minutes ago, coconspirator said:

In fairness she hasn’t had her siblings around much the past couple of years. She seems to visit more with cousin Amy than Jessa or Jana. And I wouldn’t bet on her moving to, for example, Little Rock, and not knowing anyone. There’s a good chance she’ll have at least one friend or acquaintance in the area just because the Duggars knew so many people during their heyday. But even if she doesn’t, she managed to make friends with her neighbors over the time she’s lived in their current neighborhood and some of those friendships might be close enough that they have “friend weekends” where one or the other visits with their children. Moving is stressful and new scenery will be an adjustment but it’s one she’s successfully made before.

I agree.  If they  move into a neighborhood that has young children, she'll find another stay at home mom to have to coffee and playdates with.  They will join a new church that will have young couples with children.  Jill has navigated life without family for several years now.   I think the adjustment to Derrick working more than 40 hours a week will be new.  But she'll be happy when she realizes how big a paycheck can be without whoring your kids out on TV.   Jill is a work in progress, which is a refreshing change from her siblings, who are all in the "later, rinse, repeat" mode. 

I also don't worry about Fenna because she seems to be an integral part of the family.  The Dillards are not renters (in this market, we hope) and if they buy a house, there are no pet rules.  I just hope they have a nice yard for the kids and the dog.

Edited April 20, 2022 by hathorlive

[Rootbeer]

57 minutes ago, hathorlive said:

I also don't worry about Fenna because she seems to be an integral part of the family.  The Dillards are not renters (in this market, we hope) and if they buy a house, there are no pet rules.  I just hope they have a nice yard for the kids and the dog.

If anything, I think their path since they cut ties with JB and took the buyout have shown Derick and Jill to be thoughtful and resilient.  They bought a nice home in a family neighborhood with a nice yard for their kids and in proximity to schools that they were already familiar with.  They took a sizable portion of their windfall and used it to get Derick the education and qualifications he needs to support his family well while not requiring Jill to work.  They both got counseling, especially Jill.  

Yeah, Derick started out with the ministry thing, but he changed courses pretty quickly and entered law school as soon as he saw it wasn't his path.  Jill started homeschooling but seemingly she and Derick figured out that it wasn't good for their kids and got them enrolled in school.  They also got them enrolled in activities like swimming lessons and story time at the library which were unfamiliar to Jill but to which she seemingly adapted.

To me, it looks like they've put their kids/the family first which is something the rest of the Duggars don't do.  I cannot imagine them looking for a new house that doesn't have a good yard, indoor play space and a good school system.  Not to mention plenty of room for Fenna.  I really cannot say that about any of the rest of the Duggars.  Does anyone think Jeremy chose his current educational path and life in LA because it was best for his wife and kids?  Does anyone think he ever spends a dime on stuff that doesn't benefit him directly?  Sure, they are living rent-free (for now), and maybe  he gets comped some meals; but I would be willing to be that Jer spends more money on a pair of Nikes for himself than Derick spends on his entire wardrobe in a year.  I expect he spends way more money on dining out than he does on enriching experiences for his daughters.  I know he has spent more on books for his library in the past year than he's spent on anything, ever for his kids unless we're talking about something he can brag about on the internet.

Jill will do for her kids things she never would've ever considered doing for herself.  If she's got to move, have a baby and get used to new schools, a new neighborhood, new people; I think she will manage to do it because she puts her kids first and that will give her the strength she needs.  She also knows how to ask for help and where to get it and I think she will quickly find a therapist if she needs one.

Edited April 20, 2022 by Rootbeer

[Lisa418722]

I actually have more confidence that Jill will be OK with the changes than that Derick will stick with this.  Jill seems to be more comfortable now and I hope she is settled into her new neighborhood and has made friends before the baby is born.  She is going to have her hands full this summer, but hopefully she has neighborhood friends that will be able help her.  

Derick is the wild card.  Yes, he passed the bar and it seems like he is going to be an attorney somewhere (we don't know where).  He may look forward to the fact that he will be able to go to work when the baby is crying and the boys are wanting attention.  At least he should have a job with insurance and here's hoping that even if Jill attempts another VBAC she will do it with professionals following her.  But since Derick has a history of sticking with things for a year or so and then moving on to the next thing I have to admit I wonder how long this will last.  But he did stick with law school which many of us didn't think he would. And he took the bar twice (as far as we know) so it does seem like this is what he does want to do with this life.  I shouldn't judge. I'm closer to Cathy's age than his age and more than once lately I've been saying "what do I want to do when I grow up."  

I also think Fenna will be fine with the move.  She is a part of the family now and I don't see them leaving her behind.  

[Lady Whistleup]

If I'm playing armchair psychologist, I think Fenna has been good for Jill. Dogs offer the kind of easy, uncomplicated affection that Jill did not have growing up.

[dargosmydaddy]

Dogs can also be a great icebreaker in a new neighborhood if they're taking her on walks! 

[Absolom]

6 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

Derick is likely going to be dealing with new job stress and working a 40 hour week for only the second time in his life - how much of himself will be available to support Jill's neediness?

As a new lawyer Derick would be extremely lucky to get by with 40 hour work weeks.  Lawyers are rewarded and retained based on billable hours in most firms of any size.  Every minute at the office is not billable.  He'll be fortunate to not be working 60 hour work weeks and he'll need to put in extra time so his average billables don't drop while he's off with Jill and the new baby.  I rather hope he got a government job (city, county, or state) where he would usually have a 40 hour work week and job security.  

[Ljohnson1987]

I hope that Jill continues to get proper prenatal care, wherever they go. Also, I hope she stays far away from the midwife she was an apprentice under. 

[emmawoodhouse]

6 minutes ago, Absolom said:

As a new lawyer Derick would be extremely lucky to get by with 40 hour work weeks.  Lawyers are rewarded and retained based on billable hours in most firms of any size.  Every minute at the office is not billable.  He'll be fortunate to not be working 60 hour work weeks and he'll need to put in extra time so his average billables don't drop while he's off with Jill and the new baby.  I rather hope he got a government job (city, county, or state) where he would usually have a 40 hour work week and job security.  

Don't government employees have an extensive vetting process that doesn't begin until AFTER the bar has been passed? If so, it sounds like he's in private practice.

[Ljohnson1987]

Jill will have to learn how to declingify from Derick. She can't go to the law firm with him, and three kids in tow. 

[GeeGolly]

2 minutes ago, emmawoodhouse said:

Don't government employees have an extensive vetting process that doesn't begin until AFTER the bar has been passed? If so, it sounds like he's in private practice.

If he did an internship there, the vetting would have already happened. I am so curious to see where he ends up.

[Absolom]

6 minutes ago, emmawoodhouse said:

Don't government employees have an extensive vetting process that doesn't begin until AFTER the bar has been passed? If so, it sounds like he's in private practice.

It depends on the branch of government.  My SIL works for county counsel and it didn't take very long for him.  For the federal government, it can take six months.  I expect in Arkansas, they could zip through fairly quickly for a county job.  I'm like you expecting he's likely going into a regular law firm and I have doubts on that working out very well.  The good news for him is if they are in Little Rock he can begin applying for any and all government jobs that open.  

[Absolom]

7 minutes ago, GeeGolly said:

If he did an internship there, the vetting would have already happened. I am so curious to see where he ends up.

The vetting process and qualifications for a government intern and a regular job are not very likely to be the same.  I'm looking forward to see who hired him, too. 

My daughter worked at a law firm after her L2 year and they hired her so yes she'd done all the interviewing and such before she started in the summer.  But that's how most of top firms in LA operate.  They also paid for her to study for and take the bar.  If she had not passed on the first try, she would have owed them money and been out of a job.  Based on Derick apparently needing two tries to pass, I think it's unlikely he had such an easy arrangement.  

[Cinnabon]

3 minutes ago, Absolom said:

The vetting process and qualifications for a government intern and a regular job are not very likely to be the same.  I'm looking forward to see who hired him, too. 

My daughter worked at a law firm after her L2 year and they hired her so yes she'd done all the interviewing and such before she started in the summer.  But that's how most of top firms in LA operate.  They also paid for her to study for and take the bar.  If she had not passed on the first try, she would have owed them money and been out of a job.  Based on Derick apparently needing two tries to pass, I think it's unlikely he had such an easy arrangement.  

“Top firms” meaning the wealthiest?

[Absolom]

3 minutes ago, Cinnabon said:

“Top firms” meaning the wealthiest?

Large or well known or highly regarded I think better describes them.  

[Westiepeach]

I keep thinking of that “Everybody Loves Raymond” episode when Robert was interviewing for the FBI. I know Robert was a cop and Derick is a lawyer, but I am laughing anyway.

[Fosca]

I'm very interested to hear where he landed, because I can't imagine any place other than a severely conservative company would be interested in someone with the past history and beliefs that Derick has.  Not to mention all of the people who will be calling hoping to "inform" on him, like they do with companies that Jessa and Jinjer hook up with.  Hopefully he fully disclosed what is likely to happen.

[iwantcookies]

[ginger90]

1 hour ago, iwantcookies said:

 

 

With this picture:

[iwantcookies]

Well the treehouse is taken 🤣

[ginger90]

2 minutes ago, iwantcookies said:

Well the treehouse is taken 🤣

Nice one! 🤣

[emmawoodhouse]

8 minutes ago, ginger90 said:

 

With this picture:

Derelict, busting out the SNL. Who knew?

[ginger90]

2 minutes ago, emmawoodhouse said:

Derelict, busting out the SNL. Who knew?

My first thought too! Considering the skit started out about pot, makes it even funnier.

Yet another thread on here appropriate for the date. 😁

Edited April 21, 2022 by ginger90

[emmawoodhouse]

[Cinnabon]

57 minutes ago, ginger90 said:

 

With this picture:

I’m kind of ashamed to say that I’m impressed Derick knows that one! I hope he’s shown it to Jill.

[Zella]

I'm not usually amused by Derick's attempts to be funny on social media, but that was actually hilarious. LOL

[hathorlive]

1 hour ago, ginger90 said:

 

With this picture:

Okay, this is shallow, but Derrick got points for referencing a great SNL.  RIP Chris Farley.  And I hope he keeps saying this in reference to where they move and where he is working.  Nobody needs to know, Derrick.

[Churchhoney]

3 hours ago, Fosca said:

I'm very interested to hear where he landed, because I can't imagine any place other than a severely conservative company would be interested in someone with the past history and beliefs that Derick has.  Not to mention all of the people who will be calling hoping to "inform" on him, like they do with companies that Jessa and Jinjer hook up with.  Hopefully he fully disclosed what is likely to happen.

Well, it is Arkansas. And there are a lot of conservative Christians in Arkansas. Almost half the state identifies that way, pretty much.  And all those people have businesses and law firms and nonprofits and everything else, just like people who aren't conservative Christians. 

I imagine Der would greatly prefer to work for people who are part of the culture he identifies with and would probably look for a workplace where he'd feel at home in that way. I'd be surprised if he didn't. I don't think that has to mean anybody who's setting up Gilead in their office or anything, though. Just because Der and Jill seem to hold to their old beliefs doesn't mean they're any longer really extreme and aggressive holders of those beliefs, though. They may have softened their approaches (or not, of course). Not everybody stays as loudly zealous as they were in their 20s when they wanted to be missionaries for life. 

Edited April 21, 2022 by Churchhoney

[Gemma Violet]

"...our active baby boy!"

I didn't know Jill was having a boy.  If it was posted previously, I must have missed it.  Or maybe I just forgot.

[ginger90]

8 hours ago, hathorlive said:

And I hope he keeps saying this in reference to where they move and where he is working.  Nobody needs to know, Derrick.

This would be ideal, but unlikely. It’s pretty easy to gather such information. The fact Jill linked their realtor in her moving announcement, she put their current address out there herself. 🤷🏼‍♀️ It was already easy to get, but she provided it.

[GeeGolly]

Although I know I'm in the minority, but I feel Jill needs a lot of attention and adulation, so she'll at least make public a PO box in order to get "happy mail". That most likely will reveal the town/city they're in, or at the very least, the area. Jill will make some posts asking for attention/gift cards tips on restaurants in the area. She'll lament on being, say, 3 hours away from family.

Derick will likely update his LinkedIn, so there's that.

And then there's the stupid stuff they (and many) parents do like post their school, where they're taking swimming lessons or some neighborhood park event.

But I think Derick has a love-hate relationship with their followers and Jill has a love-love one, so I don't think they'll be looking to fade away.

[GeeGolly]

I just stumbled upon this. It was posted years before the Dillard's decided to keep their kids off SM. Its so indicative of their mindset - a family of 4 move into a new house yet they do their handprints and theirs alone.

[Jeeves]

10 hours ago, ginger90 said:

This would be ideal, but unlikely. It’s pretty easy to gather such information. The fact Jill linked their realtor in her moving announcement, she put their current address out there herself. 🤷🏼‍♀️ It was already easy to get, but she provided it.

As do many (most?) states, the Arkansas judicial department maintains an online searchable listing of persons admitted to practice law in that state. I'm not going to link to it, but I found it, and Derick is listed. At this time it lists his home address - but I believe that once he starts work, his work address will be provided to the attorney registration office and the online listing will show that address. Allowing for some lag time for system updates to run.

(Note: in my state, we must provide to the attorney registration office our office and home addresses. The public facing data will show our office/business address but not our home address - unless of course someone wants to use their home address as also their business address which I think is rare. If we are not practicing law, or retired, we don't have to furnish an office address, and we may designate our home address as private. In that case there isn't an address or phone number shown on the public searchable database, just our name and basic information such as status and date of admission. I suppose Derick has an option to not have his home address displayed on the database but didn't choose it. Or - Arkansas may be behind the curve on privacy matters and requires an address to be publicly displayed for a lawyer even if the only one they have is a home address. Urgh.)

Edited April 21, 2022 by Jeeves
Clarity re privacy stuff

[Ljohnson1987]

I hope Jill and Derick have a good support network wherever they go. 

[GeeGolly]

25 minutes ago, Jeeves said:

As do many (most?) states, the Arkansas judicial department maintains an online searchable listing of persons admitted to practice law in that state. I'm not going to link to it, but I found it, and Derick is listed. At this time it lists his home address - but I believe that once he starts work, his work address will be provided to the attorney registration office and the online listing will show that address. Allowing for some lag time for system updates to run.

(Note: in my state, we must provide to the attorney registration office our office and home addresses. If we are not practicing law, or retired, we don't have to furnish an office address and we may designate our home address as private. In that case there isn't an address or phone number shown on the public searchable database, just our name and basic information such as status and date of admission. I suppose Derick has an option to not have his home address displayed on the database but didn't choose it. Or - Arkansas may be behind the curve on privacy matters and requires an address to be publicly displayed for a lawyer even if the only one they have is a home address. Urgh.)

That's similar for licensed social workers and anyone who is a health care provider, we are assigned NPI#s, which are public knowledge. 

Edited April 21, 2022 by GeeGolly

[ginger90]

That’s why it’s easy enough to get addresses. It just seems to me, one wouldn’t want to put their own out there on purpose. 🤷🏼‍♀️ Guess it doesn’t matter.

[JoanArc]

Quote

My money is on Little Rock.

Selling VCRs at a Walmart....

[iwantcookies]

I’m thinking they will name the baby after Derecks father. 
 

 

[emmawoodhouse]

3 minutes ago, iwantcookies said:

I’m thinking they will name the baby after Derecks father. 
 

 

He definitely WON'T be named after his maternal grandfather.