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Jill, Derick & the Kids: Moving On!!


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Shout out to everyone participating in the conversation about Jill’s miscarriage/stillbirth. You’re navigating a difficult topic with respect and thoughtfulness and your contributions are kind, considerate, constructive and informative. 

Thank you. 💚💚

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I've been involved in Christian NGOs and "missions" sending organizations in a variety of capacities, so please allow me to talk about them from my perspective and experience:

 

The image that many people still have of the Christian "missionary" is decades outdated for the most part.  It is fairly rare these days to find "white people" going to an "unproselytized" area and preaching at them until they convert.  I'm not saying it doesn't exist anywhere, but it's by far the minority of the ministry efforts going on in most of the world.  

 

The majority of missionaries I have known have been in another country in one of three capacities: 1) doing medical work or other specialized functions to improve the quality of life and health of the local people (including water solutions for places without clean drinking water, etc.); 2) so-called "compassionate ministries" which are basically the type of thing any NGO would do, providing food and water, disaster relief, shelter, etc; 3) involved in education at a local university, college, high school or elementary school; 4) involved in the administration and day to day operations of local churches, usually run by native pastors and ministers.  Often this latter group are not in the churches preaching themselves every week, or even at all, but are there as an extension of whatever Western organization or church has established these ministries.  The GOAL of nearly every one of these is to eventually prepare well-trained indigenous personnel to be able to take over these tasks fully.  [Full disclosure:  I did #3 for several years in a 3rd world country]

 

IOW, the majority (certainly not ALL) of 'missionaries' these days are involved in support ministries or operations to help the local people improve their own lives.  And, yes, in the mind of a Christian person this also involves giving them spiritual support or advice as they consider that crucial to happiness.  So it's not that they aren't there to share about spiritual beliefs at all, but that is usually a secondary or even tertiary reason for going.  They aren't going to pass up the opportunity to share their faith with someone when it arises, but they aren't going to force themselves on someone not interested.

 

Again, that's certainly not true of EVERY missionary or person who goes on a missions trip short-term.  But it's really a whole lot more than you would think.  After all, Christians all believe that Jesus instructed us to take care of the poor and downtrodden, regardless of their state of belief or disbelief about him (which he himself did in his life as well).

 

That said,  . . . . yeah, I don't guarantee that's what the Duggars are thinking.  I won't vouch for them at all.  I'm just saying, we can't paint everyone's motives and goals with the same brush.  Please don't assume all Christians are like these highly questionable people. :-)

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Just want second Rhondinella's post. Missions today are about training people within those countries to reach out to those countries. It's frankly cheaper to build schools, clinics, hospitals, libraries and seminaries in other countries than it is to send people from other countries to the US for training, plus there is the benefit of improved buildings, cleaner water, access to the greater community, etc by being there.

Edited by GEML
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You would be surprised at some of the things my daughter's & son's groups have done. Everything from showing them how to plant s garden, to teaching basic carpentry skills, to building goat "condos" &; porches for the elderly, to doing mold cleaning wearing hazmat suits. And yes, they are all properly trained up to codes to whatever region they are goingto. They spend 5-6 months training.

Do we know what kind of missionary work Derek was doing in Nepal? I can't think it would be anything related to accounting, unless he was teaching math.

Edited by roamyn
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You would be surprised at some of the things my daughter's & son's groups have done. Everything from showing them how to plant s garden, to teaching basic carpentry skills, to building goat "condos" &; porches for the elderly, to doing mold cleaning wearing hazmat suits. And yes, they are all properly trained up to codes to whatever region they are goingto. They spend 5-6 months training.

Do we know what kind of missionary work Derek was doing in Nepal? I can't think it would be anything related to accounting, unless he was teaching math.

I had two classmates with degrees in agribusiness who each spent a couple of years (at the time, maybe more now) working in villages with the heifer project. Perhaps Derick was helping local entrepreneurs. Just a thought. 

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And now Jill will continue the tradition of birthing at home for everyone to see. I agree with the poster that stated that something will go wrong in one of the home births. What's wrong with being in a hospital and enjoying the experience? Even J'Chelle had epidurals without having C-Sections. I think Jill was her first all natural birth.  I hope Derrick is less of an asshole during Jill's labor than Smuggar was with Anna's. No napping. If your wife is screaming for pain medication, let her have it. She's having the baby, not you. 

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That right their buy in is from conservative, christian schools.  This is not a service of the mainstream yet.

But it is a regionally accredited university. A real school.

(The other two schools are Moody Bible Institute and Thomas Edison College, also both regionally accredited. Thomas Edison is a public school.)

Of course, those are only the schools that do the bachelor's degree track. Using this program you could transfer credits into most universities.

 

However, if any of the Duggar children actually pass CLEP or AP tests, I'd be impressed. It would certainly be a feat of self-study based on the preparation they've recieved as part of their schooling. Those tests are miles beyond GED level study.

Interesting, I live in Virginia and Liberty is become pretty mainstream here. I know several kids one of which isn't religious at all that attend and play softball there.

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Interesting, I live in Virginia and Liberty is become pretty mainstream here. I know several kids one of which isn't religious at all that attend and play softball there.

That must be a regional thing.  Where I live, must people don't consider Jerry Falwell & his teachings "mainstream".

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Just found this article on line. It's called "the sweet nickname Jill Duggar Dillard has for her baby". Guess what she calls it?

Guess?

She calls it Baby Dilly! Oh my goodness. How creative! Isn't that just so precious and original? I'm so glad someone wrote an article to tell us this. 

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You would be surprised at some of the things my daughter's & son's groups have done. Everything from showing them how to plant s garden, to teaching basic carpentry skills, to building goat "condos" &; porches for the elderly, to doing mold cleaning wearing hazmat suits. And yes, they are all properly trained up to codes to whatever region they are goingto. They spend 5-6 months training.

Do we know what kind of missionary work Derek was doing in Nepal? I can't think it would be anything related to accounting, unless he was teaching math.

Well clearly I have no shame in admitting this, but a while back I did some snooping on Derick and I saw photos of him speaking to a group of Nepalese people about farming and maintaining good agricultural practices. So it would appear that Derick's missionary work overseas involved more than just preaching Christianity to the locals but that he was actually active in trying to build and support the communities there with their day-to-day life.

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Just found this article on line. It's called "the sweet nickname Jill Duggar Dillard has for her baby". Guess what she calls it?

Guess?

She calls it Baby Dilly! Oh my goodness. How creative! Isn't that just so precious and original? I'm so glad someone wrote an article to tell us this. 

...I think Baby Dilly is kind of cute actually...

 

One of the Duggar's fan site found a comment that Derick's brother Dan left on Jil's IG where he basically referred to Baby Dilly as a "he". Make of that what you will. Not sure I buy it because isn't it still too early for them to know the baby's gender?

 

ETA: Dan's original comment: "Dilly? Haha I love it! He is going to be the cutest!"

Edited by Mariva
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Nepal suddenly became "hot" in mission circles about ten years ago. Partly because it asked religious organizations for help, partly because money went a long way, and partly because there is some cultural overlap into China which is very difficult to do real (sustained) ministry.

Derrick could certainly have been useful helping with micro loans, for instance, which are very entrepreneurial and beneficial to men and women alike.

And about Liberty University - it's pretty conservative, but it's a genuine university with a more diverse student body and even faculty than it's leadership would indicate on first glance.

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Just found this article on line. It's called "the sweet nickname Jill Duggar Dillard has for her baby". Guess what she calls it?

Guess?

She calls it Baby Dilly! Oh my goodness. How creative! Isn't that just so precious and original? I'm so glad someone wrote an article to tell us this.

God, she is annoying. But what do you expect from a girl who hasn't yet matured beyond middle school? Ugh.

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I'm watching the marathon right now, the Colorado ski episode and I'm amazed at how every TH is just Jill talking about the trip. Man, she really DOES talk a lot!! I love her TH about making pizza: "Making my own pizza is fun because I know who touched it". LOL.

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And about Liberty University - it's pretty conservative, but it's a genuine university with a more diverse student body and even faculty than it's leadership would indicate on first glance.

It's a genuine accredited university, but it requires faculty to be young earth creationists, banned the campus democrats club because the democratic party is incompatable with the mission of the university, and doesn't allow kissing or watching rated R movies... so it's not exactly a typical or mainstream school.

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And about Liberty University - it's pretty conservative, but it's a genuine university with a more diverse student body and even faculty than it's leadership would indicate on first glance.

 

 

All I know is my mother-in-law (an Ed.D. in Nursing Ed) teaches in their online program and I can guarantee she is neither a fundamentalist nor a young-earth creationist.  Maybe the creationist thing is required for science and theology professors (that's my guess).  Or maybe they are more "lax" in requirements for their online adjuncts, as they would probably have to be, frankly, in order to get enough qualified people.  But, yes, it is a legitimate accredited school, and its online programs are actually becoming quite popular even outside of fundy circles.

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My daughter played a couple of softball games at Liberty University a few years ago.  At that time, they made their softball players wear skirts to play softball.  Fortunately, they now allow the girls to wear pants like the other college teams.

The thing that annoyed me about that school was that the guys walking around looked like typical college students anywhere, with sloppy shorts and t-shirts.  All of the girls looked like Duggars, with long skirts and carefully curled hair.  They are required to wear skirts and dresses, while I guess the boys can do whatever they want.

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Yeah, I'm definitely not arguing that it's accredited, that's obviously a fact. I did find a posting for an online adjunct position (nursing, so not science or religion) that says that adjuncts are required to be Christian and believe that the "world was created by God as expressed in the Genesis account of creation" (http://www.higheredjobs.com/m/search/details.cfm?Jobcode=175899039&aID=5980&print=yes)

It's totally possible they drop that requirementrequirement if they're having a recruiting crisis, or they include it in application but don't follow up? Their online programs are definitely growing, so you're totally right that finding qualified candidates must become harder if they hold firm to that.

Not trying to be argumentative - I just work in higher ed so these kinds of clauses in job descriptions (as well as student conduct codes as restrictive as Liberty's is) have always interested me!

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My father was offered a position there as a full professor (he has a PhD from a secular state university) and is not a young earth creationist, had been a Democrat all his life, and would be happy to be the school sponsor. His best friend taught there for many years.

He wouldn't have had an issue with the rated R movies, but that isn't uncommon in quite a few Christian colleges. All I can tell you is the Christian college kids kiss (including the very conservative one where my father taught for most of his career) and the kiss at Liberty too. And sometimes (gasp!) they do more than that ! ;)

But Liberty is positively liberal in comparison to Crown College, Pensacola, Bob Jones or Patrick Henry, which are the most likely school options for young people in the Duggar's world, even if even these choices are closed off from the Duggars themselves.

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All I can tell you is the Christian college kids kiss (including the very conservative one where my father taught for most of his career) and the kiss at Liberty too. And sometimes (gasp!) they do more than that ! ;)

 

They might do that, but they could get disciplined by their university for it. Liberty's student code of conduct (for which you can be expelled for ignoring, though that is probably unlikely unless you have multiple infractions) says that hand-holding is the ONLY appropriate form of personal contact.  Oh well, at least they don't have to be engaged yet. 

 

You also have to give up your right of demonstration- you cannot picket, protest or demonstrate on campus; and in some cases the school can prevent you from doing so OFF campus.

Edited by Skittl1321
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So it would appear that Derick's missionary work overseas involved more than just preaching Christianity to the locals but that he was actually active in trying to build and support the communities there with their day-to-day life.

I’m not saying that missionaries don’t actually do good/charitable works while they’re overseas. I just think that in the very end, a lot of it boils down to spreading the word of God - I mean, that’s essentially what a mission is defined as - and not necessarily through aggressive street preaching or what have you. I have friends who have gone on missionary trips; I know they actually do stuff. But I’ve always declined to donate money when they hit me up for funds; if they go regardless, I won’t begrudge them because yeah, they’re still probably doing good wherever they travel, but I’m not going to donate to something that is technically about  spreading the faith.

 

Even for the groups that downplay evangelism, a lot of these trips seem to be more about the missionary than the people they’re helping. I took a look at several websites and almost all of the focus is on how the missionary trips will transform your life and bring you closer to God and bring you spiritual clarity and oh yeah you get to help some people. I’m sure they actually do good works too, but it skeeves me out how these “exotic” countries and their people are treated like props or mere backdrops. It reminds me of that “white girl goes to Africa” tumblr/meme… which, to be fair, isn’t limited to missionaries; I’m pretty sure most of the people on that tumblr aren’t Christians, so I don't mean to imply that only missionaries do this. I hated Eat Pray Love for that same reason (and at least a lot of missionaries actually do shit instead of just dicking around like Julia Roberts’ character).

 

And as far as the argument goes about helping these communities eventually become autonomous and how it’s therefore cheaper to travel over there instead of bringing them here; that’s commendable. But then, there are American communities where so much of the infrastructure is broken or non-existent, and where people could also do with a lot of help in getting on their feet. So why not focus on those communities? I’m not much for the “Amurrricans first, fuck the rest of the world” mentality, but I do think there’s something to the idea that America is already considered to be more of a Christian nation than a lot of the countries that many missionaries travel to.

 

But, y’know, I admittedly have ~a lot of feelings~ because of Christian missionary influence on my [Korean] culture. It's declined in recent years, but that's because Christianity now has such a grip on us that we're the ones going on missions now lol. 

 

But Liberty is positively liberal in comparison to Crown College, Pensacola, Bob Jones or Patrick Henry, which are the most likely school options for young people in the Duggar's world, even if even these choices are closed off from the Duggars themselves.

Ah, Patrick Henry. Have you read God’s Harvard? That was an eye-opener. But now I'm wondering if the Duggars were to go to school, which one would be the best bet? Josh might have delusions of political grandeur, which would make Patrick Henry the right fit - although Patrick Henry students seem more intellectual than Josh does - but Jill? I don't know. 

Edited by galax-arena
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One of the things the women on this show constantly reiterate is that morning sickness is a "good sign". My mother never had morning sickness or any kind of throwing up with me or any of my siblings so whenever I hear about it my brain tunes it out, haha. 

 

I wonder if Jill's all-day sickness just comes from the fact that her family is so prone to motion sickness and have easily upset stomachs. 

Edited by PinkSprinkles
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Hard core "Morning Sickness" is associated with High hCG levels, which  is generally viewed as a good thing.  I had very low hCG, two "Chemical pregnancies" and one happy baby - with no morning sickness at all.  The Ob Gyns would prefer you were nauseated.   This could indicate twins, personally  I think Jill was just pushing out her stomach muscles in that photo shoot, she's trying to look pregnant.

 

Man, that girl has been through a lot of big changes this year, I hope she's doing ok.

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I always wanted to hit my RE when in the first several weeks he told me how good it was that I was feeling sick all the time. When I switched to my CNM, she never tried to tell me it was good, just that it was typical. I know twins run in Jill's family but for so much to be changing so quickly in her & Derick's life I think just one might be plenty.

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My mother and I both had morning sickness all day so badly we almost couldn't continue our pregnancies we were losing so much weight so quickly. Neither of had it in subsequent pregnancies, and neither of us had twins.

Jill's chances of having twins is very high, given that her mother had two sets. But it's rare to have twins with the first pregnancy. Most first born twins are often first born because the mother had a miscarriage previously and didn't know it (or didn't mention it) and of course we all KNOW (isn't that funny?) that Jill hadn't had time for that.

Edited by GEML
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I see on Derick's Instagram that someone has already gifted the little gherkin with an OSU baby hoodie.  Derick looks thrilled, Jill not so much.

Derick's brother Dan commented:  Umm this is easily my favorite picture of anything nephew-related yet. 

This is the second time he's referred to the baby as a he.  Do they already know the gender?

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This is the second time he's referred to the baby as a he.  Do they already know the gender?

I think that's just a "power of positive thinking", he wants a nephew thing.  It's waaay to early to know the sex yet. (Their refusal to use the word "sex" isn't just silly, it's "wrong".)

 

Monash University > Medicine, Nursing and Health Sciences > Gender and Medicine >
What is the difference between sex and gender?

Sex = male and female

Gender = masculine and feminine

So in essence:

Sex refers to biological differences; chromosomes, hormonal profiles, internal and external sex organs.

Gender describes the characteristics that a society or culture delineates as masculine or feminine.

So while your sex as male or female is a biological fact that is the same in any culture, what that sex means in terms of your gender role as a 'man' or a 'woman' in society can be quite different cross culturally.

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I'd never heard of that fostersmom so I went looking (I love google!).  It doesn't look like that test is used often; mainly because insurance won't cover it.  Apparently it can tell starting at about 5 weeks, but it's iffy that early, and then gets up to 99% accuracy at 20 weeks.  If it was me, I would just wait for the ultrasound, but then I didn't find out until delivery for my first two. The doctor announced over the sound of a crying baby which name I'd be needing. 

I don't know if Jill had that blood test or not.  I do know that when I was pregnant with my first child, my sister wanted me to have a girl and referred to her 'niece' all the time, while my brother wanted me to have a boy and talked about his 'nephew'. Neither knew, of course, but both was 'just sure' they were right. (My unborn baby had an identity crisis.)  My sister "won" though. I had a girl.

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It's early yet, and while they could have done the blood test, I'm guessing they don't know the sex because there hasn't been a big gender reveal yet. I can't imagine then finding it out without making a big hullabaloo about it. If Derick's brother's comments were based on certainty, they'd have publicized it after the first slip up, rather than just let it ride and give him the opportunity to slip up again.

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I've decided to refer to baby Dillard as the little gherkin:)

 

Are you sure it's not Jherkin?  (except I guess when you say that out loud the pronunciation sounds kinda bad... just trying to think of how to get a 'J' in there... maybe it should be Dherkin if they go with the man's first initial)

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I see on Derick's Instagram that someone has already gifted the little gherkin with an OSU baby hoodie.  Derick looks thrilled, Jill not so much.

 

hee... what's next, shorts and sandals? The heathens...

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I was on both Jill's and Jessa's Instagrams last night and I noticed they have several pictures of each other with Derick and Bin, but none of the J'Slaves together and not one picture of Jana. Are they BFF's now that they're part of the "I's married!" clique? Oh well, I guess Jana doesn't worry. I'm sure they'll have her on speed dial to provide free child care...

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My mother and I both had morning sickness all day so badly we almost couldn't continue our pregnancies we were losing so much weight so quickly. Neither of had it in subsequent pregnancies, and neither of us had twins.

 

In my family we have 'morning' sickness all day through the whole pregnancy. I only have daughters but my sister wasn't as sick with her boys as she was with her girl. No twins. Just saying Jill's sickness is inconclusive. Also any bump could just be early-pregnancy bloat. Even if it is baby at this point, why the heck does she have her hands way up on her tummy? She does know where her uterus is, doesn't she? Makes me think she's just pushing her stomach out to fake a bump.

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New article about Jill's pregnancy-

http://www.etonline.com/tv/150526_jill_dillard_reveals_whether_her_kids_will_have_initial_names/index.html

 

And in terms of Jill’s midwife career, she says she plans to continue her training once she’s over her morning sickness.

 

Good for her! Also in the article Jill reiterates that it's too early to know Baby Dilly's sex so I guess Dan comments about them having a boy was just wishful thinking. 

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New article about Jill's pregnancy-

http://www.etonline.com/tv/150526_jill_dillard_reveals_whether_her_kids_will_have_initial_names/index.html

 

Good for her! Also in the article Jill reiterates that it's too early to know Baby Dilly's sex so I guess Dan comments about them having a boy was just wishful thinking. 

It seems Jill may have been planning to go back all along.  Good for her.  I hope her morning sickness isn't one that lasts throughout her pregnancy.

Yeah, Dan seems to be wishing for a nephew.

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I hope she goes back! I understand taking a break to set up a new home, but most ladies don't get to miss work from morning sickness.... even if they should. Most coworkers I had just had to make a run for the toilet every few hours:(

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Due date of March 24. In case anyone's dying to know, that doesn't appear to be a wedding night baby. I can't remember how long their honeymoon was, so it might have been end of honeymoon. Yes, I used a due date calculator and calculated when conception might have been. It estimates July 1. I'll close that tab now.

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