Jessa, Ben and Their Brood: Making a (Diaper) Mountain out of a Mold House

[Wellfleet]

I was IFB (lite).

yes, to my knowledge sex during pregnancy is permitted. NEVER heard of anyone abstaining for sex after the birth (OT law) for any set days other than the usual medical suggestions to wait about 6 weeks or so. The Duggars also don't eat pork. Another OT rule but they don't eat keep kosher. I guess they do what they feel led to do?

 

They don't eat pork? Did not know that. They eat enough pizza - are they always pepperoni-free? I haven't noticed. The boys have been shown making bacon - must be turkey bacon. And they had hot dogs for one of Josh's kids' birthdays I think. All-beef I guess? I also thought I saw big fat breakfast sausages in the episode where the trainer appears from nowhere and gets to hassle Josh about his diet. I wonder if they really don't eat pork - or just say they don't. More and more I believe less and less of what I hear from these people. I actually believed they were basically a nice, wholesome family when I first started watching 19K&C. A little 19th century but basically OK. Then gradually - and more slowly than I like to admit - it began to dawn on me how genuinely odd, then downright goofy their beliefs were.  And even more so, how illogical they are. Now what bothers me more than anything else is the difference in the ways boys and girls are treated. Sigh.

[Marigold]

Nope, no pork. They have said that and I believe it's in their book.

I'd like to know why they don't eat pork as per OT rules but don't keep a kosher kitchen. Or practice the unclean menstrual times that observant Jews practice. But they abstain from sex for a certain number of days after childbirth?

I'd love to have Jim Boob explain this to me!

[BitterApple]

SewSumik, great article. I love how in typical Duggar fashion Jessa managed to avoid having to answer for her family's ignorance by only taking audience questions from children. I did like her dress though.

[Sew Sumi]

I believe that at least Mere and Pere Duggar practice the "no sex during menstruation or for x number of days afterward." The timing basically has them humping like rabbits right around ovulation. It's no surprise that she conceived so many babies when she still had infants no more than four months old. 

 

Jessa is more than likely pregnant now (I've already discussed possible announcement times), but hopefully she won't have the super fertility of her mother or, apparently, her older sister. 

Edited March 16, 2015 by Sew Sumi

[GEML]

Keep in mind that Gothard is the one to pick and choose which rules were followed and I don't think there is any rhyme or reason - just a man who wanted the satisfaction of knowing he could say " do this" or "don't do this" and people obeyed him.

[msblossom]

Looks like Jessa could be sporting a baby bump.

http://theashleysrealityroundup.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/jessa-duggar-sexy-dress.jpg

The article said someone from the audience asked:

When do you think you’ll have kids?

“Hopefully really soon,” Ben said, in a weird tone that makes me wonder if she might be pregnant already. “And we also hope to adopt,” Jessa added.

Edited March 16, 2015 by msblossom

[WTFFF]

I've said it before, and I'll say it again.  If these two adopt, I sincerely hope that they go for - and get - the healthy white infants everyone jockeys for.  I can't imagine them having any interest in the complexities of transracial adoption, or any patience for a child with disabilities. 

 

Even worse if they adopt from an orphanage in Central America - the kid would likely be two or three at the youngest by the time they brought them home, and the kid would likely be expected to assimilate immediately.   Oh, sure, they might do fun things to keep the kid "connected" to their heritage, like occasionally cook a bastardized version of a traditional food or celebrate a local holiday, but otherwise, the kid's going to be expected to act like a Duggar by birth in all ways. 

 

Jessa seems to love Jordyn (as someone would love their little sister, not a daughter, but you can't fault her for not going along with Michelle's sistermoms plan as delightedly as Jill did), but she seems disinterested at best, at worst disdainful of the Howlers and Johannah.  She seems bored and annoyed during the orphanage mission trips, unless she's snapping a selfie. 

 

I sincerely pity any child they may adopt.  As someone said upthread, it's not uncommon for young people to romanticize adoption - from what I've seen, especially religious people who want to save poor unwanted souls.  The reality of it is difficult, expensive, and can end in disaster if the family's expectations aren't reasonable.

 

And given the rumors of how Ben and Jessa fight over her weight, I do wonder if she wants to adopt because she doesn't want to lose her figure.

Edited March 16, 2015 by WTFFF

[GEML]

It's not that easy - or inexpensive - to adopt internationally these days. I doubt that Jessa and Ben have the slightest clue about how much time, effort and money it requires.

[roamyn]

Looks like Jessa could be sporting a baby bump.

http://theashleysrealityroundup.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/jessa-duggar-sexy-dress.jpg

The article said someone from the audience asked:

When do you think you’ll have kids?

“Hopefully really soon,” Ben said, in a weird tone that makes me wonder if she might be pregnant already. “And we also hope to adopt,” Jessa added.

And her face looks fuller, too.

[Darknight]

They should adopt a dog to get started

[floridamom]

The difference in abstaining after a male or female birth is because in the OT, a female was considered not as "clean" or desirable as a son would be; therefore, the woman would be considered not clean for longer...just old time sexism...it's not godly at all, really, as the Almighty, who has no sex, loves and cares for females just as much as males...gender is an earthly, humanly physical thing, and the Supreme Being does not look at our gender...he looks at our souls, which have no difference.

The Duggars, actually are NOT spiritually mature or learned, they operate on a very elementary level, if you ask me. God, as we call that power, is a much more complex being than the Duggars and the like can ever understand. They also refuse to really study up on anything...only their pamphlets that the Gothard camp puts out.

[kellylovessnark]

The local radio station in town has videos and more pictures of Jessa and ben from the their show from last weekend. If you look for FM 100 Memphis in Facebook, you should be able to find it.

Edited March 16, 2015 by kellylovessnark

[galax-arena]

Brain bleach has never been capable of erasing that discussion from my mind.

So you believed that misery loves company and had to share this discussion with us?? Hmph. 

I sincerely pity any child they may adopt.  As someone said upthread, it's not uncommon for young people to romanticize adoption - from what I've seen, especially religious people who want to save poor unwanted souls.

See: Justin Harris.

[TheDoctorsCompanio]

Did that jerk get the death penalty? I was following that story until the Michael Brown case took over news media.

[JoanArc]

The Duggars supported Justin Harris, he's the AR politican who re-homed (and it looks liek sexually abused) a 6yo girl, twice. He believed that his 4 and 6 year old were communicating telepathically with witchcraft to misbehave, and kept them locked in empty rooms to prevent this. I don't think Jessa and Bin could handle kids with RAD.

 

 

What was the best moment of your life?

Jessa hesitated, as if she was trying to cook up the “right” answer, so Ben answered first.

 

Jessa has to work better on-the-fly lies. When the both found Jesus was the lame answer. I'd love to hear the real one.

[TheDoctorsCompanio]

Ah I think we're talking about different people. I was referring to the guy who left his 22 month old in the car over the summer for 8 hours. My bad.

[Darknight]

And what will Benessa do if their adopted child wants to find their birth parents. What will they do if their adopted child acts out? Pray it away?

[Sew Sumi]

They should adopt a dog to get started

Uhm, no. We all know the Duggar Track Record with Animals. Their "pets" end up running away pretty much 100% of the time. I imagine Jessa's kids will want to do the same. She does not have a maternal bone in her skinny little body.

[BitterApple]

I can't imagine spoiled brat Jessa dipping into her savings to pay thousands of dollars for adoption. Maybe she'll go through with it if People or TLC foots the bill... I can just imagine her setting up a gift registry for her newly acquired toddler.

[SmallTownMom]

I don't think Ben and Jessa, or Michelle and Boob, for that matter have any intention of ever adopting.

 

This is just another "Look at us, we are so wonderful and good" moment.

 

Why don't you collect something else?  You know, stamps or coins or anything but babies.

[cereality]

In the interview posted -- Jessa says -- "I cook hot meals occasionally for dinner,” Jessa said. “But most of the time we just have Greek yogurt and granola for breakfast and lunch almost every day."

Isn't cooking one for her only wifely duties outside the bedroom right now, since there are no kids to raise?? How is she getting away with hot dinners only occasionally? Are they spending TLC cash eating out or do they drive over to the TTH for some TTC or whatever else Jana made for the brood??

I wouldn't be shocked if there's a pregnancy announcement soon. If the sisterly jealousy thing that they did for weddings and engagements holds, I'd expect it to be the day after Jill has the baby -- to steal the spotlight from her and Derick. In that picture, her mis section looks noticeable/bloated -- which isn't usual for her as she's pretty skinny.

[JoanArc]

Don't forget they eat out a lot, too, for dinner.

[Barb23]

In the interview posted -- Jessa says -- "I cook hot meals occasionally for dinner,” Jessa said. “But most of the time we just have Greek yogurt and granola for breakfast and lunch almost every day."

Isn't cooking one for her only wifely duties outside the bedroom right now, since there are no kids to raise?? How is she getting away with hot dinners only occasionally? Are they spending TLC cash eating out or do they drive over to the TTH for some TTC or whatever else Jana made for the brood??

I wouldn't be shocked if there's a pregnancy announcement soon. If the sisterly jealousy thing that they did for weddings and engagements holds, I'd expect it to be the day after Jill has the baby -- to steal the spotlight from her and Derick. In that picture, her mis section looks noticeable/bloated -- which isn't usual for her as she's pretty skinny.

In the home tour video, Jessa showed a very nice enormous spice set a friend gave them for a wedding gift. That is not a cheap gift. Don't know how close the friend is but she should have known it wasn't going to get much use.

[RazzleberryPie]

In the interview posted -- Jessa says -- "I cook hot meals occasionally for dinner,” Jessa said. “But most of the time we just have Greek yogurt and granola for breakfast and lunch almost every day."

Isn't cooking one for her only wifely duties outside the bedroom right now, since there are no kids to raise?? How is she getting away with hot dinners only occasionally? Are they spending TLC cash eating out or do they drive over to the TTH for some TTC or whatever else Jana made for the brood??

I wouldn't be shocked if there's a pregnancy announcement soon. If the sisterly jealousy thing that they did for weddings and engagements holds, I'd expect it to be the day after Jill has the baby -- to steal the spotlight from her and Derick. In that picture, her mis section looks noticeable/bloated -- which isn't usual for her as she's pretty skinny.

Which just goes to show that these young fundie grooms are just like almost every other man: no matter what wifely traits they spout are necessary, it all boils down to them wanting the hottest piece of @$$ they can get, and as soon as possible. It doesn't matter if Jessa cooks, cleans, sews, or whatever else they value. Ben's horny, and for now, she'll get by with as little as possible on the domestic frontier. She's been a j-slave for so long, though, i can't begrudge her for wanting a break from housework for a few months at least. 

[JoanArc]

Friend = random fans dumb enough to send Jessa presents.

[Mrsjumbo]

They should adopt a dog to get started

Luckily there is no more snow on the ground so they could aim for it.

Edited March 17, 2015 by Mrsjumbo

[ariel]

Why don't you collect something else?  You know, stamps or coins or anything but babies.

or pets.

[lottiedottie]

Don't forget they eat out a lot, too, for dinner.

Aren't they the ones who had a bunch of gift cards for restaurants on their registry? Now we know why they asked for them! Jessa wasn't planning on cooking!

[Jynnan tonnix]

Has she made any mention of whether they are thinking about adopting older children or those with disabilities? Because as much as I'm not sure they have the right sort of temperaments to deal with potentially serious behavioral issues or the sort of dedication it takes to commit oneself to raising children with physical and/or mental disabilities, at least that's more a noble cause. If they are planning on having as many biological children as "god sees fit to bless them with" and simultaneously think they are going to gather a supplemental amount of newborn white babies, then that's some severe selfishness on their part. Would an agency even give a baby like that to a couple with the capability and intent to have biological children, or do they give preference to those who have fertility issues?

[trimthatfat]

I'm really surprised people are taking the adoption comment so seriously. I just assumed Jessa and Ben said it because it sounded good, not because they are passionate about the idea. I didn't take it seriously at all.

[Absolom]

I'm on the not taking it seriously road also.  I'll believe it when I see it just like with Michelle and Jim Bob.

[Skittl1321]

 Would an agency even give a baby like that to a couple with the capability and intent to have biological children, or do they give preference to those who have fertility issues?

I have never seen an agency that gives preference to those with fertility issues.  I have seen several that require you to be removed from your fertility issues- either having a number of years pass since you did treatments, or having had counseling from it.  Although very few people come to adoption as a "first choice" (some do, but most seek adoption after having biological kids or because they cannot)- adoption agencies are very careful to make sure the children are not treated as a backup plan, or second best.

 

If Jessa really has a heart for children (hahaha)- foster care may be a great avenue for her.  Because she is a stay at home parent, she could get a baby placed as soon as it is released from the hospital.  It is long and difficult road to actually adopt from foster care, reunification to first family is a primary concern for most programs, but it is generally nearly no cost to do so. And in the meantime she would be having positive impact on the children she has in her care.  At least in my state, it is much easier to become a foster parent than it is to be approved for adoption. The age, net worth, marriage length requirements are all so much less.

Edited March 17, 2015 by Skittl1321

[Fuzzysox]

Friend = random fans dumb enough to send Jessa presents.

I thought I heard her say sweet friends.....because one friend would not buy that many spices at once.

[Barb23]

Adoptions aren't cheap. About 15 years ago I had a coworker adopt a son from Russia. It happened all rather quickly & when they went to get him, they had to bring a suitcase full of cash for payment. She didn't share how much (they are well off & everything was on the up & up) but I'm sure it was plenty. I'm sure the rules have changed since then but as someone has previously posted, haven't most countries stopped adoptions at the present? I can't see Boob giving Benessa a suitcase full of money for anything, let alone for adoption. Where else would the happy couple get money from?

[Fuzzysox]

Hmm who else thinks that MEchelle will become obsessed with a Binessa baby? I know she doesn't have a heart for children but she has the hots for Bin. I can imagine she will make herself at home once their baby arrives (if they are indeed pregnant now or in the future).

[Wellfleet]

Adoptions aren't cheap. About 15 years ago I had a coworker adopt a son from Russia. It happened all rather quickly & when they went to get him, they had to bring a suitcase full of cash for payment. She didn't share how much (they are well off & everything was on the up & up) but I'm sure it was plenty. I'm sure the rules have changed since then but as someone has previously posted, haven't most countries stopped adoptions at the present? I can't see Boob giving Benessa a suitcase full of money for anything, let alone for adoption. Where else would the happy couple get money from?

 

She was required to bring CASH? Wow, that would make me think things were NOT so cool... Glad it all worked out though. And I agree - I can't conceive of Boob handing over a baggie full of cash, much less a suitcase, for anything.

[GEML]

You can't bring cash in a post 9/11 world - well, there's a limit on it. But yes, there has been a lot of controversy about international adoptions, even those that were on the up and up, so most countries today have ceased to offer them.

And domestic adoptions aren't inexpensive. You have legal fees and fees "for the mother" that are often far more than simply medical expenses and living expenses. Again, it can be a very grey area when you come right down to it, assuming you are trying to adopt through an agency.

But I don't see Jessa and Ben adopting. I see two Millennials prattling on about something they know nothing about because people (and PEOPLE!) praise them when they say certain things.

[Missy Vixen]

Jessa and Bin aren't adopting. This is part of their pro-life platform -- after all, I'm sure Bin will think he's really making a point to the godless heathen abortion lovers. He will care for the unborn babies! And Jessa will feed them Greek yogurt and granola.

 

He's not smart enough to realize that adoption is a long and expensive road, and he and his wife will have every aspect of their lives scrutinized as a result. The haterz on the Internetz will be a walk in the park compared to social workers who will ask some very uncomfortable questions in light of what's currently happening with the family friend who "adopted" three girls as a campaign prop, only to rehome them later. He also seems to forget that the rest of the world wouldn't consider a 19-year-old reality TV personality a great bet to be a parent in the first place.

[BitterApple]

Barb23, my uncle adopted two kids from Russia and the cost was upwards of 7Ok, so your friend's adoption was definitely in the tens of thousands. I agree with everyone else that Jessa and Bin are blathering on about adopting because it makes them seem saintly and magnanimous.

I encourage any Benessa leg humpers to YouTube episodes of the early mission trips where Jessa looked at those Central American kids like she was afraid they'd give her fleas. Jill was the only one who showed true caring or sensitivity towards those children.

[galax-arena]

I agree with everyone else that Jessa and Bin are blathering on about adopting because it makes them seem saintly and magnanimous.

Yeah, this reminds me of when I read about celebs adopting and the comments are almost always praising them for being so selfless and giving a poor unfortunate soul a home.... it leaves a bad taste in my mouth. I'm wary of those who adopt because they feel like it's noble and saintly; that sort of attitude quickly gives way to a savior mentality, which is part of what can fuck up adopted children psychologically. There's this implicit idea that the adopted child has been "saved" and must be grateful to their savior, and I don't think that's really a healthy attitude for children to have towards their parents. (Like, I think children should be appreciative for what they have and what their parents do for them, but that's different from viewing their parents as a savior who plucked them out of the gutter?) Especially when parents come to expect it and then get pissy when their adopted children don't exhibit the proper amount of gratitude because they live in the real world where adoption is a messy, complicated thing instead of the romanticized ideal peddled by noblesse oblige types.

 

And that's aside from all the other sketchiness that goes on in the adoption industry, particularly international adoptions. No way are Jessa and Ben equipped for something this fraught. They'd totally ride the savior train to the bank.

[truelovekiss]

Hmm who else thinks that MEchelle will become obsessed with a Binessa baby? I know she doesn't have a heart for children but she has the hots for Bin. I can imagine she will make herself at home once their baby arrives (if they are indeed pregnant now or in the future).

Maybe I'm just messed up in the head, but my favorite part of the show lately has been watching everyone's favorite Godly uterus lusting after BinSeewald. I feel like in J'chelle's 17 year old mind, BinSeewald is the kind of hottie she was supposed to be with, instead of dorky Jim Boob. I can totally see her loitering around their house after Jessa has a baby under the pretense of "helping" (lol just kidding she'll bring Jinger for that) and constantly reminding BinSeewald that Jessa must wait 40-80 days before their desires can be righteously fulfilled. And then she'll go mow the lawn seductively in her green maternity shirt, ankle length skirt and black stockings.

[DangerousMinds]

Does Bin follow Gothard rules? Maybe he will nix that waiting period.

[Micks Picks]

They should give up the dress code rules because they just don't work.  They tweak them at will (except for Michelle) but still attract attention of a sexual nature.  They got some guys interested despite the dress code, and even MEchele is sexy enough to get pregnant 20 times.  Neither the older nor the younger guys seem to be looking away.

[Fuzzysox]

Maybe I'm just messed up in the head, but my favorite part of the show lately has been watching everyone's favorite Godly uterus lusting after BinSeewald. I feel like in J'chelle's 17 year old mind, BinSeewald is the kind of hottie she was supposed to be with, instead of dorky Jim Boob. I can totally see her loitering around their house after Jessa has a baby under the pretense of "helping" (lol just kidding she'll bring Jinger for that) and constantly reminding BinSeewald that Jessa must wait 40-80 days before their desires can be righteously fulfilled. And then she'll go mow the lawn seductively in her green maternity shirt, ankle length skirt and black stockings.

Wins the internet today!!!!! Hilarious!

[JoanArc]

 

And then she'll go mow the lawn seductively in her green maternity shirt, ankle length skirt and black stockings.

 

The Graduate, starring Bin and Mechelle.

[RazzleberryPie]

Even if it is truly Ben and Jessa's most sincere, deep, heartfelt desire to adopt, they don't stand a chance unless it's a completely private adoption. Adoption agencies, especially when children are adopted from the foster system, scrutinized prospective parents. The liability of placing a child in a home that couldn't properly care for them is so great, that it takes years and a lot of money to go through the process. International adoption might even be stricter than domestic now.

 

Ben and Jessa are: 1) not married long enough. Most agencies require at least 5 years, 2 minimum for older couples, of marriage, 2) they have no stable income. Unreported 'love offerings' from occasional speaking engagements is not stable income. 3) they're both too young. most agencies require a certain age gap, not to small not to large, from the child and each parent AKA two twenties year olds can't adopt a 16 year old, and a 70 year old couple won't get an infant.

 

10 years down the road, they may be in a great position for adoption. If they're sincere, I wish them the best. If touting adoption is a way to be 'edgy' by having a lot of kids without wrecking your body through childbirth, building a pro life platform for a political career, or by going against Gothard's teaching that adopted kids are tainted by the sins of the father, then Ben and Jessa need to grow up and pursue something else. 

[Sew Sumi]

Okay, pregnancy announcement is on hold until the 30th. TLC just announced that next week is an "All About Jessa" clipshow. ARGH! How many ways can they show us what a bitch she admits to being? 

 

Who knows? It may yet spoil the announcement of the Second Coming if Muffy lasts 41 weeks. 

[Mrsjumbo]

The Graduate, starring Bin and Mechelle.

"Mrs. Duggar, you're trying to seduce me."

Hilarious!

[dillpickles]

They'll make some cute babies at least. (Because we all know it's gonna happen. Even if we don't want it too)

[cmr2014]

 

Jessa and Bin aren't adopting. This is part of their pro-life platform -- after all, I'm sure Bin will think he's really making a point to the godless heathen abortion lovers. He will care for the unborn babies! And Jessa will feed them Greek yogurt and granola.

 

I completely agree. I think that Ben, like many evangelical pro-lifers, believes that women have abortions because the just want to go out and party. They have sex every night with strangers, and then when they get knocked up, they just shrug their shoulders and say, "Oh well, off to the abortion clinic again." I think that he believes that there is no justifiable reason for a woman to get an abortion as long as there are good Christian couples who are willing to adopt their children of shame.

 

Even if they were serious, there is no adoption agency on Earth that would give a baby to an unemployed teenager and a woman who clearly has zero interest in children.