Jessa, Ben and Their Brood: Making a (Diaper) Mountain out of a Mold House

[FakeJoshDuggar]

57 minutes ago, sometimesy said:

Hesitating is a risky move because that greed gene might be leaving it's dormancy state in a few of the Duggs. 

I truly think that only Blessa has the lady bits to do it. (Balls are squishy and sensitive, so not them.)

[sometimesy]

47 minutes ago, FakeJoshDuggar said:

I truly think that only Blessa has the lady bits to do it. (Balls are squishy and sensitive, so not them.)

Yep! See why it's so hard to dislike her haha. 

Edited May 10, 2016 by sometimesy

[Missy Vixen]

1 hour ago, JoanArc said:

I doubt Derrick or Ben knew about the molestations before the wedding.

I'm guessing Triple D had one hell of a honeymoon when his new wife started doing a few things that startled him. They slept in their clothes at home, remember? The whole thing about eating in the bathroom? I'm guessing that was the tip of the iceberg re: the new and exciting things he got to deal with (and is probably still dealing with).

I'm also guessing that Jim Boob chose the guy he thought would never stand up to him. One has to wonder how long it was before the phone rang at the TTH and Triple D asked the Duggars exactly when they were going to tell him about the family history.

[Albanyguy]

1 hour ago, FakeJoshDuggar said:

I still maintain that JB was against the whole Bin situation. Ben sought out the reality family. I think Jessa is savvy enough to realize that Bin was her ticket out of the girl's dorm and he was young enough to bend to Jessa's will. Jessa was getting out of that house even if it meant she was going to elope in order to see it through. I think Jessa is self serving enough to spill every secret to the highest paying tabloid, so JB gave in and, in turn, gave them the tiniest accommodations possible. 

I agree, and I think that Michelle also played a part here. Jessa is clearly her favorite daughter (IMO, Josh, Jessa and Josie are the only three kids that Michelle gives a crap about) and if the little princess wanted to marry Ben, then Michelle would throw her considerable support behind her. The fact that Michelle seemed to have a little crush on Ben herself wouldn't hurt. And since she doesn't like Jill, she must have been pleased at the idea of Jessa stealing some of the attention away from Jill.  

Quote

I doubt Derrick or Ben knew about the molestations before the wedding.

I honestly think that Derick and Ben only found out about the molestation a couple of hours before we all did. I think Jim Bob and Michelle instructed Jill and Jessa not to tell the boys about what Josh did to them. They were kept on a need-to-know basis and the girls were only permitted to tell them once it became clear that the shit was about to hit the fan.

[Marigny]

I agree. I don't think Ben and Derick knew about the molestation until the shit was about to hit the fan. Remember, by the Duggar's own admission, this was the past and they didn't think about it anymore. 

[Arwen Evenstar]

33 minutes ago, Marigny said:

I agree. I don't think Ben and Derick knew about the molestation until the shit was about to hit the fan. Remember, by the Duggar's own admission, this was the past and they didn't think about it anymore. 

Regardless of whether we like Jill and Jessa or not, I really felt for them having to take this to their marriage beds and try to have a normal healthy sex life after their creepy brother did what he did. Might have been a factor in why Jill and Derick are in CA so they can get as far away from the TTH as possible.

[cmr2014]

4 minutes ago, Arwen Evenstar said:

Regardless of whether we like Jill and Jessa or not, I really felt for them having to take this to their marriage beds and try to have a normal healthy sex life after their creepy brother did what he did. Might have been a factor in why Jill and Derick are in CA so they can get as far away from the TTH as possible.

I think that both Jill and Jessa (and Josh, too) took a LOT of baggage with them to their marriage beds. In the context of all of the "purity" and "modesty" and "defrauding" and related bs, the molestation may only have been one added bit of carry-on luggage.

[Arwen Evenstar]

21 minutes ago, cmr2014 said:

I think that both Jill and Jessa (and Josh, too) took a LOT of baggage with them to their marriage beds. In the context of all of the "purity" and "modesty" and "defrauding" and related bs, the molestation may only have been one added bit of carry-on luggage.

I totally agree!  From that POV, I can't imagine going from accountability partners and chaperones and no kiss until the wedding day to full on everything being suddenly and magically "permissible".  That would be awkward for anyone....Even most virginal brides and grooms have the kissing part down...or have done some petting at least.

 Even though many world cultures and ethnic groups practice the same level of premarital purity as the Duggars, I'm pretty sure those sons and daughters have far fewer hang ups than the Duggars and their ilk have.  

Edited May 11, 2016 by Arwen Evenstar

[Sew Sumi]

Jill seems far more "victimized" than Jessa, yet she's the one who got knocked up 5 seconds after the wedding. So, she didn't have TOO many hangups, at least at first. After the reveal? Well, that might be the reason she doesn't have another bun in the oven now...

Jessa plays this off as if nothing happened at all; I have to wonder what it's like for her behind closed doors. She seems to be the fakest of the fake but may well have been shaken up IRL. She's a tough read, since she's so hard. 

[kalamac]

1 hour ago, Arwen Evenstar said:

Regardless of whether we like Jill and Jessa or not, I really felt for them having to take this to their marriage beds and try to have a normal healthy sex life after their creepy brother did what he did. Might have been a factor in why Jill and Derick are in CA so they can get as far away from the TTH as possible.

You know what I've been wondering (in regards to healthy sex lives)...we've heard more than once that boys feel lust, but women feel things differently, that's why no "Nike!" stuff for the girls, so let's say Jessa looked at Ben and started feeling feelings, as is normal and healthy for a woman who is attracted to someone and not asexual, would she have thought that something is wrong with her? And that she needed to marry quickly, to fix it, because they've been taught that women just don't lust the way men do.

[Arwen Evenstar]

1 hour ago, Sew Sumi said:

Jill seems far more "victimized" than Jessa, yet she's the one who got knocked up 5 seconds after the wedding. So, she didn't have TOO many hangups, at least at first. After the reveal? Well, that might be the reason she doesn't have another bun in the oven now...

Jessa plays this off as if nothing happened at all; I have to wonder what it's like for her behind closed doors. She seems to be the fakest of the fake but may well have been shaken up IRL. She's a tough read, since she's so hard. 

It doesn't take a gynecologist to explain away her sudden pregnancy...right time of the month and unprotected coitus. Too many lectures about joyful availability prior to the marriage...no doubt the marriage was consummated fairly quickly. Jill was the good little Gothardite.

We can't say which sister was more victimized than the other...Jill may have been victimized by Josh more than Jessa.  Jill seems more capable of empathy and more emo than Jessa is.

[GeeGolly]

I work with folks who have experienced many forms of trauma, including various levels of sexual assault. There really is no outwardly rhyme or reason as to who feels more of an impact. It would seem logical that the degree of an assault, or who the perpetrator is, would be a significant factor, however that is not always the case.

One significant factor in lessening the lasting effects is support, e.g. being believed and consequences for the perpetrator.

The most significant factor is personalty traits, including resiliency, empathy, and self esteem.

We have no idea how Jessa or Jill internalized what happened, nor the impact it has on their adult lives. I choose to believe what they have said, because not believing a survivors story is almost always harmful.

[MamaMax]

I wondered if Jessa is nicer now, not because she's a mom, but because she got the hell out of the house.  

[Arwen Evenstar]

3 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

I work with folks who have experienced many forms of trauma, including various levels of sexual assault. There really is no outwardly rhyme or reason as to who feels more of an impact. It would seem logical that the degree of an assault, or who the perpetrator is, would be a significant factor, however that is not always the case.

One significant factor in lessening the lasting effects is support, e.g. being believed and consequences for the perpetrator.

The most significant factor is personalty traits, including resiliency, empathy, and self esteem.

We have no idea how Jessa or Jill internalized what happened, nor the impact it has on their adult lives. I choose to believe what they have said, because not believing a survivors story is almost always harmful.

Totally agree with you...only they really know how it affected them and still affects them....it's not for us to say...

I just hope Jill and Jessa and the rest of his victims find a way to be whole again.  Even though what happened to them was damaging, I hope they realize that they are not "damaged goods" because of this, no matter what the Wisdumb Booklets say.

[louannems]

On 4/28/2016 at 4:51 PM, Oh Margeaux said:

 

Personally, I believe the reason Jessa is now nicer, is because she is breast-feeding.  The hormone prolactin can cause one to feel very mellow!  I have seen Jessa feeding Spurgeon and she frequently appears spaced out and filled with lassitude.  I remember that feeling!

[FakeJoshDuggar]

Wait. I missed the memo that Jessa was nicer now. She still seems like the same old witch who is about to hand out poisoned apples.

[Adeejay]

11 minutes ago, FakeJoshDuggar said:

Wait. I missed the memo that Jessa was nicer now. She still seems like the same old witch who is about to hand out poisoned apples.

In episode 7 (The Reunion), Jinger said, "since giving birth to Spurgeon, Jessa is much nicer." It wouldn't be a big deal hearing that from one of her other siblings, but coming from Jinger it was surprising, because viewers were led to believe they are "super close". 

[Lemur]

4 minutes ago, Adeejay said:

In episode 7 (The Reunion), Jinger said, "since giving birth to Spurgeon, Jessa is much nicer." It wouldn't be a big deal hearing that from one of her other siblings, but coming from Jinger it was surprising, because viewers were led to believe they are "super close". 

Yeah, but that could mean she went from being Stalin to just a regular serial killer.  

[Darknight]

On Wednesday, May 11, 2016 at 8:08 PM, Albanyguy said:

I agree, and I think that Michelle also played a part here. Jessa is clearly her favorite daughter (IMO, Josh, Jessa and Josie are the only three kids that Michelle gives a crap about) and if the little princess wanted to marry Ben, then Michelle would throw her considerable support behind her. The fact that Michelle seemed to have a little crush on Ben herself wouldn't hurt. And since she doesn't like Jill, she must have been pleased at the idea of Jessa stealing some of the attention away from Jill.  

I honestly think that Derick and Ben only found out about the molestation a couple of hours before we all did. I think Jim Bob and Michelle instructed Jill and Jessa not to tell the boys about what Josh did to them. They were kept on a need-to-know basis and the girls were only permitted to tell them once it became clear that the shit was about to hit the fan.

I can't imgaine going from zero to 100 on your wedding day then on top of that being molested. Then blamed for it. Then not getting proper therapy. This is really fucking sad. I lot of sexual abuse victims have a hard time with sex and body image.

[Joe Jitsu913]

36 minutes ago, Darknight said:

I can't imgaine going from zero to 100 on your wedding day then on top of that being molested. Then blamed for it. Then not getting proper therapy. This is really fucking sad. I lot of sexual abuse victims have a hard time with sex and body image.

I don't claim to know how Jessa feels in her head about her body image. Based on her actions, howver, I would say she doesn't have an issue.  She seems vain as ever.

[Sew Sumi]

With Jessa, though, you have to wonder if it's her authentic self, or a front she puts on. I keep going back to that scene during the engagement scavenger hunt when she wouldn't even look the people with the roses in the eye. I think she hides a lot of stuff behind that hard, bitchy exterior. 

[BitterApple]

I think Jessa is confident so long as she's the big fish in a small pond. Get her outside her comfort zone and she freezes up. Perfect example is the Bin Drops Beats episode where she was visibly nervous around Flame and his friends. And those were Conservative Christians. It wasn't like she was dropped on the campus of a liberal university in the middle of a pro choice rally. I don't even give her credit for the Women's Conferences because all the questions she's asked are pre-selected softballs.

Edited May 13, 2016 by BitterApple

[Sew Sumi]

Agreed. It's all about controlling the situation for her. Although in the scavenger hunt scenario, those were all people TLC hand-picked and probably bought lunch for. Heck, some of them may have been friends of the crew, like the used car "customer" turned out to be. She really had no reason to be so cold to those people, and she certainly knew what was happening, but at the same time, she couldn't control her environment in that instance, and she was visibly uncomfortable during that entire exercise until she got to Thorncrown. 

[GeeGolly]

5 hours ago, Sew Sumi said:

Agreed. It's all about controlling the situation for her. Although in the scavenger hunt scenario, those were all people TLC hand-picked and probably bought lunch for. Heck, some of them may have been friends of the crew, like the used car "customer" turned out to be. She really had no reason to be so cold to those people, and she certainly knew what was happening, but at the same time, she couldn't control her environment in that instance, and she was visibly uncomfortable during that entire exercise until she got to Thorncrown. 

I think the engagement scavenger hunt also showed a huge difference between Ben & Jessa too. Jessa was clearly uncomfortable and impatient with the whole deal. And I'm sure Ben imagined her soaking up each stage, with heartfelt tears, and thoughts of how romantic he was.

I felt Jessa was thinking - Are we there yet - and - Why is my whole family here.

 

Even Jill didn't look all that sweetly surprised when random-man-on-bench starting singing the song to her & Derick.

They both showed the confidence and attitudes of 13 year olds. Although a 13 year old might have showed more emotion. Yeah totally.

[Vaysh]

I think Jessa is one of the more self-conscious and easily embarassed ones of the Duggar kids though she desperately tries to hide it. I remember that trip they went on to the UK and she was just dying on the inside when Boob was being a Boob with a guard. Jessa was the only one who actually actively tried to stop him while the others just stood there keeping sweet as per usual.

[Arwen Evenstar]

Jessa seems very "get to the point". I also think her limited social experience outside the family makes her uncomfortable.  She knows she has little control over many of her life's choices so she controls whatever she knows she can get away with.

i also found it weird that she was the one who paid for her and Bin's marriage license.

She's still a triple decker sauerkraut and toadstool sandwich with arsenic sauce....she's Ms. Stank in my book all day long.  I'm also fond of Oh Margeaux , who dubbed her Princess Prickly Pear.

Edited May 13, 2016 by Arwen Evenstar

[sometimesy]

3 hours ago, Arwen Evenstar said:

Jessa seems very "get to the point". I also think her limited social experience outside the family makes her uncomfortable.  She knows she has little control over many of her life's choices so she controls whatever she knows she can get away with.

i also found it weird that she was the one who paid for her and Bin's marriage license.

She's still a triple decker sauerkraut and toadstool sandwich with arsenic sauce....she's Ms. Stank in my book all day long.  I'm also fond of Oh Margeaux , who dubbed her Princess Prickly Pear.

Oh you get points for the Grinch. Big points! I still think Jessa could go fundy lite and never look back. She is willing to manipulate JB, so she could leave with a used suitcase of new money. 

Edited May 13, 2016 by sometimesy
Just adding, 3 hours later and I still have an earworm. :)

[BitterApple]

Regarding the engagement, I think it just underscored how little these people know about each other before committing to a lifelong relationship. Bin was trying to do something romantic and flowery, but Jessa isn't into all that stuff. That type of proposal would've been better suited to a girl like Erin Bates. Jessa would've been fine with a quiet dinner followed by the proposal at Thorncrown. 

I'd also like to mention that the Auto Correct on my phone is now changing Ben to Bin. Well done, grasshopper, well done.

[lookeyloo]

Maybe TLC put Bin up to it and it's not his nature and that threw Jessa Blessa 

[Sew Sumi]

Even if it was TLC's idea, it's totally Ben's "romantic" character (remember the vomit-inducing letters he's given Jessa) to do a scavenger hunt like that. I don't know how well he knows the area, though. TLC may have set up some of the sites and certainly reserved the train. 

But yeah, it was a total mis-read of what JESSA wanted. But hey, Ben says it's okay if you're not a compatible couple, so it's all good! 

[louannems]

New Izzy pics, so we must have new Spurgeon pics.

[Marigny]

Splooge is such a cutie...even though he looks like Boob.

[riverblue22]

Such a cute little guy.  Does anyone know if Bin was raised the Pearl way?

[BitterApple]

Spurge looks like a healthy little chunk, but Lord, the Boob gene is strong in that one.

Edited May 14, 2016 by BitterApple

[Oldernowiser]

All I see is Josh 2.0, except with a far better personality.

[Tabbygirl521]

I have to say that I don't have a problem with Jessa prompting Ben, or even correcting him. At least she doesn't do that low-IQ adoring fundie wife gaga stare. I am all for the Duggarettes NOT keeping sweet. 

[Arwen Evenstar]

I wonder if ATI had workshops to teach brides to be the headship gaze

[kokapetl]

Poor baby just looks runty compared to his cousin, the Aryan super-baby. 

[Arwen Evenstar]

1 hour ago, ingenting said:

Poor baby just looks runty compared to his cousin, the Aryan super-baby. 

Correction....the grubby Aryan super baby.

[lookeyloo]

Maybe because Israel lives in a hot and humid environment with no air conditioning (Spurgy has the advantage of air conditioning in hot and humid Arkansas) but Spurgy always looks clean and well taken care of in nice clothes. Wonder if they are thrift store bargains. 

[Arwen Evenstar]

No doubt Izzy is sweaty all the time...but sweaty is one thing...grubby is another. If you didn't see this posted in the Dullards: Voilá, one grubby baby

 

 

http://forums.previously.tv/applications/core/interface/imageproxy/imageproxy.php?img=http%3A%2F%2Fi68.tinypic.com%2F6rm168.jpg&key=73b8b40f3413094385cd67988ea7724cc704e768deb74c447ff428100da10a66

[toodles]

On 5/14/2016 at 6:16 PM, louannems said:

New Izzy pics, so we must have new Spurgeon pics.

At least he is clean and is wearing clothes.

[sometimesy]

Spurgeon does seem tidy and he's sure a happy little elf.

One of the biggest differences between Izzy and Spurgeon right now is their age. Izzy can get dirty from crawling and walking around in a place with dirt roads (all that dirt tracking into the house I would think). 

[Arwen Evenstar]

1 hour ago, sometimesy said:

Spurgeon does seem tidy and he's sure a happy little elf.

One of the biggest differences between Izzy and Spurgeon right now is their age. Izzy can get dirty from crawling and walking around in a place with dirt roads (all that dirt tracking into the house I would think). 

If Muffy would at least sweep the floors or get a Swiffer from the CA Walmart, her little grub wouldn't be so grubby...but being the idle, slovenly slattern she is, maybe she'll write the moms out there and complain that Izzy doesn't clean the floors yet....

[NewDigs]

1 hour ago, sometimesy said:

Spurgeon does seem tidy and he's sure a happy little elf.

One of the biggest differences between Izzy and Spurgeon right now is their age. Izzy can get dirty from crawling and walking around in a place with dirt roads (all that dirt tracking into the house I would think). 

I'd love to give them the benefit of the doubt but I've done island living, I've lived in rural areas and still live less than urban and we took/take our shoes off at the door. Still do. It works. 

Spurge is really cute and looks like a happy Booby er, baby.

[toodles]

If you have a chance, take a look at pickles' fb page.  She lands on bin with both feet over his latest rant.  It's awesome

Edited May 16, 2016 by toodles
Typo

[kalamac]

I've been trying to figure out which non-family member Spurgeon reminds me of, and it just hit me: he puts me in mind of Turtle from D.A.R.Y.L.

[Arwen Evenstar]

4 hours ago, toodles said:

If you have a chance, take a look at pickles' fb page.  She lands on bin with both feet over his latest rant.  It's awesome

Sorry, Toodles.  I couldn't find it. I don't really use social media so maybe I didn't know where to look.

[kalamac]

6 minutes ago, Arwen Evenstar said:

Sorry, Toodles.  I couldn't find it. I don't really use social media so maybe I didn't know where to look.

[GeeGolly]

4 hours ago, kalamac said:

Whoa, back off Ben. Is this Bible rant in response to not everyone praising you and Jessa for your 'TV ministry'? And really Ben, you talk of your marriage and baby with pride and you celebrated your 2 years at college with a party. You wear your Bible quoting caps with the same pride your wife wears her hair. As far as I know you're an American, who lives in America, but you're different than others, right? And where did you come by this information that "patting yourself on the back" is increasing? If being humble gets you into heaven, you have a little problem on your hands Benny boy. 

I'm sorry for you Ben. It must be an unhappy and fearful life for you, to be praying to this hateful entity that you call God.