Janelle Brown: Smarter Than Your Average Brown (Maybe)

[ginger90]

I skimmed the replies on Janelle’s pizza post. Many , “what a great idea”, “ oh I love it”, blah , blah, blahs. This one made me stop reading further:

”Omg thank you for posting this !! I had my gallbladder removed almost a year ago and I unfortunately cannot have pizza anymore. It literally sends me to the hospital. I know this will sit well with me! I cannot wait to try!!”.

And Janelle “loved” ❤️ the reply. 

[DakotaJustice]

People don't know how to make an open faced quesadilla?!!???

[TurtlePower]

41 minutes ago, xwordfanatik said:

And our sea tortoise Janelle ate three of those, when she could have had a slice or two of real thin crust pizza, a salad sans globs of ranch dressing, and come out ahead.

Janelle, if you have any sycophantic followers after that post, it would be sad and shocking.  Please go back to work in some stuffy office, where you can do what you do, and don't fill the need to post bullshit.  PLEASE!

 Yes, she could have enjoyed a slice of regular pizza—really enjoyed it—but instead made this crap which, in the end, may have had more calories than the damn slice of pizza in the first place! 

She needs her useless certificate revoked (I know that’s not possible but one can dream). Her idiot followers are latching into this shit advice, too.  It’s almost this bad: “Janelle thanks for recommending manure as a topping. It’s totally working!” Yeah, it’s called E. coli. 

Idiots. 

[ginger90]

 

[xwordfanatik]

Is this supposed to be diet-friendly! puddingk?

[TurtlePower]

56 minutes ago, ginger90 said:

 

At first I thought it was her toilet after a round of “poor digestion”. 

[crimson23]

On 2/11/2020 at 7:58 AM, Higgins said:

Just so you know, many women want marriage and motherhood. Some women aren't interested in a career outside the home. Shouldn't that be acknowledged as valid?

it is very valid. Things area totally different now. You can have it all. If a person is lucky enough to meet their person/signficant other early in life, why not get married.  These days there are all kinds of educational opportunities. Online education is available to everyone and is a viable option for women with kids.  One isn't restricted to the 4 year college after high school anymore.  There are also more ways to earn a living without the out of home 9 to 5 job, like social media. 

I actually believe that Mariah is the only one who could go away out of state for a 4 yr college education and a masters.  No other Mom could afford that in that family.  

[lindalouwho]

Quote

1 hour ago, TurtlePower said:

At first I thought it was her toilet after a round of “poor digestion”. 

 

.

Speak of manure and it appears!

[Yeah No]

6 hours ago, Joan of Argh said:

Janelle drives me nuts with her sluggish personality...

Those pizzas look disgusting... she's always so uninspired and lazy... rather than take a few minutes to make something appetizing she just makes a sloppy mess and sticks it in her pie hole.

Most of us know how to make a light version of pizza without it looking like puke on a pancake... heck when my kids were 9 or 10 they knew how to make healthier versions of pizza that looked and tasted great... it's like Janelle has been living under a rock for the last 40 yrs.

Next thing she'll take her old leather flipflops, smear on some tomato paste, harvest some cheese from her stinky feet, throw it in the oven and watch it bubble...  🤮

OMG you guys are cracking me up!   🤣 And you are all so right!  I am half Italian originally from NYC so pizza is like religion to me, plus I am a foodie and home cook, so while pretty much everything Janelle makes looks like vomit to me this is a new low!  It looks awful!  Plus, how freaking stupid could she BE?  Those Mission "carb balance" tortillas in the burrito size have 6 grams of fat plus 130 calories and a whopping 30 grams of carbs and 500 grams of sodium in EACH ONE!!!  Times it by 3 and it's off the freaking CHARTS!!  There is no pizza crust that size on this EARTH that has that much of anything in it!!!  In fact there are hardly any tortillas out there that are that high in everything!!  She just sees the phrase "carb balance" and thinks that means it's healthier and lower in everything than a regular pizza crust.  Doesn't she even LOOK at the nutrition information and compare it?  She could have eaten one entire Mama Mary's Whole Wheat Pizza Crust in the large 4 servings per crust size and would still not consume many more calories, carbs, sugars, fats and sodium as are in those 3 freaking tortillas!!  Seriously!  And this is available in any Walmart superstore!!  I just can't with this woman anymore!!  😣

Also, I don't get the fascination some people have for those sliced un-brined canned olive rings, which I hate.  I have never seen them on real Italian food nor would I ever buy them.  Geez, there are so many bottled pitted olives that are much better or the olive bar in lots of markets.  Most people I know don't even put olives on their pizza unless it's a veggie pizza with lots of other veggie toppings.

[Roslyn]

9 hours ago, Yeah No said:

OMG you guys are cracking me up!   🤣 And you are all so right!  I am half Italian originally from NYC so pizza is like religion to me, plus I am a foodie and home cook, so while pretty much everything Janelle makes looks like vomit to me this is a new low!  It looks awful!  Plus, how freaking stupid could she BE?  Those Mission "carb balance" tortillas in the burrito size have 6 grams of fat plus 130 calories and a whopping 30 grams of carbs and 500 grams of sodium in EACH ONE!!!  Times it by 3 and it's off the freaking CHARTS!!  There is no pizza crust that size on this EARTH that has that much of anything in it!!!  In fact there are hardly any tortillas out there that are that high in everything!!  She just sees the phrase "carb balance" and thinks that means it's healthier and lower in everything than a regular pizza crust.  Doesn't she even LOOK at the nutrition information and compare it?  She could have eaten one entire Mama Mary's Whole Wheat Pizza Crust in the large 4 servings per crust size and would still not consume many more calories, carbs, sugars, fats and sodium as are in those 3 freaking tortillas!!  Seriously!  And this is available in any Walmart superstore!!  I just can't with this woman anymore!!  😣

Also, I don't get the fascination some people have for those sliced un-brined canned olive rings, which I hate.  I have never seen them on real Italian food nor would I ever buy them.  Geez, there are so many bottled pitted olives that are much better or the olive bar in lots of markets.  Most people I know don't even put olives on their pizza unless it's a veggie pizza with lots of other veggie toppings.

I hope you can hear my standing round of applause !!!

Brava!!

[DakotaJustice]

I dunno, I've always associated black olives with Mexican food. 

[Juliegirlj]

It wouldn’t surprise me if some of Janelle’s gastric issues are gallbladder related. “Fair, Fat, and Forty something “ certainly sounds like Janelle. 
 

Everything in moderation is not a skill set that Janelle understands...

[Yeah No]

58 minutes ago, DakotaJustice said:

I dunno, I've always associated black olives with Mexican food. 

Mexicans don't use black olives according to experts.  Italians and other Mediterraneans use black olives, but most often brined and in oil.  The Spanish, who colonized Mexico brought their olives with them but experts say that olives are a Spanish thing usually not added to Mexican dishes but eaten on the side.  Mexicans don't put them in tortillas but eat them in snacks, so says the person who wrote that second linked article.  At any rate whatever olives were ever put in Mexican OR Italian food, I am sure they were not those that Janelle used .  Those canned sliced rings are some sort of American 1960s-70s abomination.

[toodles]

19 minutes ago, Yeah No said:

Mexicans don't use black olives according to experts.  Italians and other Mediterraneans use black olives, but most often brined and in oil.  The Spanish, who colonized Mexico brought their olives with them but experts say that olives are a Spanish thing usually not added to Mexican dishes but eaten on the side.  Mexicans don't put them in tortillas but eat them in snacks, so says the person who wrote that second linked article.  At any rate whatever olives were ever put in Mexican OR Italian food, I am sure they were not those that Janelle used .  Those canned sliced rings are some sort of American 1960s-70s abomination.

Saying in a small voice-I love black olives.  I eat them on pizza AND Mexican food.  No veggie tray is complete in my house without black olives.

[Yeah No]

18 minutes ago, toodles said:

Saying in a small voice-I love black olives.  I eat them on pizza AND Mexican food.  No veggie tray is complete in my house without black olives.

Oh I love black olives too, of course, I just don't love those awful canned black rings that became popular in the '60s and '70s in the US, usually used in making appetizers.  How they filtered their way into Italian and Mexican-American cooking was probably via the chain restaurants, as I seem to recall seeing them there first.  Also, I think canned olives were the only way Americans really saw olives in those days.  It wasn't until the '80s that we started to see more authentic ethnic foods in the supermarkets.  By the '90s supermarkets started having olive bars, which spread out from the Northeast to other parts of the US.

What passes as Italian-American and Mexican-American cooking in the chain restaurants is often very unlike what actual Italian and Mexican Americans cook in their own homes.  I had a Mexican American friend once.  She and I both connected on loving Taco Bell and Olive Garden as long as we didn't associate them with authentic Mexican and Italian American cooking.

Edited February 15, 2020 by Yeah No

[Kohola3]

I love black olives. I love green olives, even the sliced ones. 

There. I said it.

[DakotaJustice]

46 minutes ago, Yeah No said:

Mexicans don't use black olives according to experts.  Italians and other Mediterraneans use black olives, but most often brined and in oil.  The Spanish, who colonized Mexico brought their olives with them but experts say that olives are a Spanish thing usually not added to Mexican dishes but eaten on the side.  Mexicans don't put them in tortillas but eat them in snacks, so says the person who wrote that second linked article.  At any rate whatever olives were ever put in Mexican OR Italian food, I am sure they were not those that Janelle used .  Those canned sliced rings are some sort of American 1960s-70s abomination.

Yeah, mom always added them to her enchiladas. It's an old recipe for leftover turkey from Sunset Magazine's Favorite Recipes.

I liked the whole ones though! When I was a kid I would put them on my fingers and pop them one at a time in my mouth - pop pop pop 😂

[Sandy W]

59 minutes ago, Kohola3 said:

I love black olives. I love green olives, even the sliced ones. 

There. I said it.

I love the brined black olives at the supermarket olive bar, also the Costco green olives in a jar stuffed with whole garlic cloves or almonds.  

[xwordfanatik]

55 minutes ago, DakotaJustice said:

Yeah, mom always added them to her enchiladas. It's an old recipe for leftover turkey from Sunset Magazine's Favorite Recipes.

I liked the whole ones though! When I was a kid I would put them on my fingers and pop them one at a time in my mouth - pop pop pop 😂

Mr. Xword did that as a kid, too.  I'm not a fan of olives.  My late MIL always had a dirty martini before dinner, and tried to get me to try one.  I just couldn't, with the green olive/pimento and a dash of olive juice. 

2 hours ago, Juliegirlj said:

It wouldn’t surprise me if some of Janelle’s gastric issues are gallbladder related. “Fair, Fat, and Forty something “ certainly sounds like Janelle. 
 

Everything in moderation is not a skill set that Janelle understands...

I see that as a good possibility, too.  She should have herself checked by a doctor if she's in that much distress over digestion issues.  

[ginger90]

 

[TurtlePower]

2 hours ago, Yeah No said:

Mexicans don't use black olives according to experts.  Italians and other Mediterraneans use black olives, but most often brined and in oil.  The Spanish, who colonized Mexico brought their olives with them but experts say that olives are a Spanish thing usually not added to Mexican dishes but eaten on the side.  Mexicans don't put them in tortillas but eat them in snacks, so says the person who wrote that second linked article.  At any rate whatever olives were ever put in Mexican OR Italian food, I am sure they were not those that Janelle used .  Those canned sliced rings are some sort of American 1960s-70s abomination.

I live in a mostly hispanic area and I concur--though people can add whatever they like to their food. It's definitely not a "normal" ingredient around here. 

I love olives and bring them to the field in the summer when we sweat out lots of salt (which I learned working in Israel). I also love them in salad. 

Edited February 15, 2020 by TurtlePower
redundancy removal

[LilWharveyGal]

26 minutes ago, ginger90 said:

 

Here's a peek at the rest of Janelle's playlist:

Cherry Pie

I Want Candy

Hungry Like The Wolf

I Don't Wanna Work

[Kbo]

3 hours ago, LilWharveyGal said:

Here's a peek at the rest of Janelle's playlist:

Cherry Pie

I Want Candy

Hungry Like The Wolf

I Don't Wanna Work

Well played!

[Meowwww]

I love the sliced black olives in the can lol.  I love all olives, but they MUST be pitted.  I broke a tooth in half chomping down on one with a pit, once. I didn’t know it had a pit and I was super enthusiastic about eating it lol.  

[Roslyn]

23 hours ago, toodles said:

Saying in a small voice-I love black olives.  I eat them on pizza AND Mexican food.  No veggie tray is complete in my house without black olives.

...I like them chopped up and mixed in the lettuce on hoagie sandwiches as well in layered taco dippy salads...

[monagatuna]

19 hours ago, Meowwww said:

I love the sliced black olives in the can lol.  I love all olives, but they MUST be pitted.  I broke a tooth in half chomping down on one with a pit, once. I didn’t know it had a pit and I was super enthusiastic about eating it lol.  

Ouch! I'm super paranoid about teeth and while I have never eaten an olive pit (unless I knew the olives weren't pitted and was careful to not bite down on it), your post made me cringe so hard I think I sprained my shoulders.

[Joan of Argh]

I wish I knew how to link a video from Facebook to here cuz Mykelti posted  this video of her mama janelle trying to sell LLR denim jeans and janelle really gets into it!!... even a hallelujah with arms in the air!! 
maybe ginger can link it for us, it’s snark worthy.... here’s a couple screenshots

Sorry I posted from my phone and it flipped the pics on their side, not sure why.

 

Edited February 19, 2020 by Joan of Argh
Pics flipped

[suomi]

Get naughty, Janelle! She pulled her tank lower in the second photo to shoot some cleavage!

[Joan of Argh]

see if this works...

https://www.facebook.com/groups/lularoemykeltipadron/permalink/478968832771314/

 

[ginger90]

[Kohola3]

Nothing like power lines and a street light to refresh your soul.

[Teafortwo]

This is my walk ALL the time. 10 or so years ago, I used to wear headphones and carry a discman on my walks. Never did have an ipod, although now I could listen to music on my phone I guess. But I got worried about hearing loss as I was getting older so I stopped headphone use entirely. I also like to carry as little as possible, so I stick some grocery money in my pocket and just go.  This is a novelty for Janelle - how odd and how sad!

[Meowwww]

She thinks about speed and performance?   Speed sure as she needs to get home before dark on her morning walk. 

[TurtlePower]

13 hours ago, ginger90 said:

LMAO at the use of the words “speed and performance” from Janelle. Oh, come on. Really? 

I don’t believe for one second Janelle does this on a regular basis. Most people doing this on the regular will not have tired legs after just one hour. 

Good for her for getting out, but she’s gonna have to do this another 600 times while reining in her diet for anyone to take her seriously. 

[Natalie68]

On 2/15/2020 at 9:17 AM, Kohola3 said:

I love black olives. I love green olives, even the sliced ones. 

There. I said it.

I am raising my hand as a fan myself.  

[Meowwww]

On 2/16/2020 at 2:54 PM, monagatuna said:

Ouch! I'm super paranoid about teeth and while I have never eaten an olive pit (unless I knew the olives weren't pitted and was careful to not bite down on it), your post made me cringe so hard I think I sprained my shoulders.

I can still feel the crack, pain, and confusion...a simple olive!!  it will never be gone from my memory. I am so cautious about olives now lol.  

[Mahamid Frauded Me]

On 2/20/2020 at 5:44 PM, ginger90 said:

Somewhere in Flagstaff in the middle of a dark & drab living room, a stationary bike silently weeps tears of joy as another day passes without being sat on

[Natalie68]

7 hours ago, Mahamid Frauded Me said:

Somewhere in Flagstaff in the middle of a dark & drab living room, a stationary bike silently weeps tears of joy as another day passes without being sat on

With a pair of leggings that have been worn for 4 days draped over the handlebars

[ginger90]

[Joan of Argh]

10 minutes for broccoli doesn't sound super fast to me.

I do mine in the steamer in less time  🤨

[LilWharveyGal]

Cooking for 1-2 people, huh?

Would that be...Janelle and Kody?  Janelle and Savanah?  Gabe and Savanah?  The compost bin?

[Galloway Cave]

1 minute ago, LilWharveyGal said:

Cooking for 1-2 people, huh?

Would that be...Janelle and Kody?  Janelle and Savanah?  Gabe and Savanah?  The compost bin?

1-2 is her normal serving size, all by herself.

[xwordfanatik]

I use the steamer thing I got when I was in WW, and it takes less than 3 minutes in the microwave.

10 minutes isn't super-fast, Janelle.  Don't tell me you are afraid of microwaves like Christine, when she & Kootie took their kids to LV early on.  Remember Christine said "I love Vegas?"  Does she miss it at all, I wonder?  Some of her kids surely do.

[Irate Panda]

On 2/18/2020 at 9:32 PM, suomi said:

Get naughty, Janelle! She pulled her tank lower in the second photo to shoot some cleavage!

Go ahead Janelle! Show that cleavage! Practice that cartwheel all over Kootie’s cars.  Modesty is out the window, Meri’s loving bananas, Kootie’s flexing in his undies.  Put down the canned cabbage and find a lace curtain to drape yourself with (if nothing else it’s a step up from luluhellno.  Give the neighbors more reasons to stare lol.

 

*yes, I know this requires energy, but Strive, Janelle, Strive!!!

 

[xwordfanatik]

Maybe @Mahamid Frauded Me will favor us with another Strife post.  Those are so much more real (rill) than Strive, any day of the week!  

[Joan of Argh]

44 minutes ago, xwordfanatik said:

I use the steamer thing I got when I was in WW, and it takes less than 3 minutes in the microwave.

10 minutes isn't super-fast, Janelle.  Don't tell me you are afraid of microwaves like Christine, when she & Kootie took their kids to LV early on.  Remember Christine said "I love Vegas?"  Does she miss it at all, I wonder?  Some of her kids surely do.

Exactly I do mine in the microwave, I zap it for about 3-4 minutes then I let it sit in the steamer for a couple minutes while I get the plates ready and by then it's cooked to perfection with a little bite left in it.

Same for stir-fry, I cook it for maybe 4-5 minutes.

What's up with her that she thinks 10 minutes is super fast? 

I mean what the hell, where does she get these ideas and how long was she cooking it before the Instant Pot?

[Kohola3]

Ten minutes in an insta-pot?  Is she making pureed baby food?  It would be mush!

[DakotaJustice]

1 hour ago, xwordfanatik said:

I use the steamer thing I got when I was in WW, and it takes less than 3 minutes in the microwave.

10 minutes isn't super-fast, Janelle.  Don't tell me you are afraid of microwaves like Christine, when she & Kootie took their kids to LV early on.  Remember Christine said "I love Vegas?"  Does she miss it at all, I wonder?  Some of her kids surely do.

Maybe that included rooting around in her freezer to find some broccoli crowns that weren't affected by freezer burn.

[Meowwww]

I make mine in a pan. On the stove.  With a little water.  It doesn’t take ten minutes.  10 minutes in an insta pot is like an hour in real time. 

[Kyanight]

1 hour ago, Meowwww said:

I make mine in a pan. On the stove.  With a little water.  It doesn’t take ten minutes.  10 minutes in an insta pot is like an hour in real time. 

I'm in mile high Colorado, and it takes forever to cook veggies on the stove.  I don't have an instapot so I have no clue how long it would take in one of those... but maybe they are high altitude?  Just to bring a pan of water to a boil takes forever.